Work Text:
The night was slow. Jinhsi finally had time to process what had happened the past few days. She goes to lay down until Sanhua notices how mentally fatigued she is.
"My lady, you don't seem to be as content as before. Is everything alright?"
"I'm okay, Sanhua. Thank you for your concern. These past few days have left me a bit below my best, though once I rest I will recover."
Sanhua just closed her eyes and turned herself away from her lady, the ache of worry still deep in her heart and mind despite the reassurance.
"...I should probably head to my chambers. I will see you tomorrow, Sanhua. Have a good rest."
She nodded, and heard her lady's footsteps slowly fade out-
"Actually, Sanhua, you look troubled. Would it put your mind at ease to... rest together for the night?"
Sanhua could have sworn to the Sentinel that she saw Jinhsi's cheeks slowly fade into a dusty pink. Coming to the realization of what she just said, her face grows red as well, but much more prominent.
"My lady, I couldnt possibly invade your privacy like tha-"
"You aren't. I promise. I was the one that asked. I figured that your nightmares were becoming more frequent again, and that maybe having someone next to you would help quell them. This is not an order, and you are free to answer however you wish."
There was a tense silence between the two for mere seconds, but what seemed like years. Sanhua was a mixture of confused and flustered; she had never seen her beloved magistrate act so vulnerable before. Though it somehow... put her at ease, to see her wear her heart on her sleeve, even if just a little.
"Then... I will take you up on the offer. Though, if you ever change your mind, please let me know immediately. The absolute last thing I want to do is make you uneasy."
Jinhsi smiles at her, like the sun shining through a tree on a spring day.
"Of course."
As they walked to Jinhsi's chambers, Sanhua begged to whoever was above that Jinhsi was unable to hear the way her heart pounded out of her chest and her breathing shook ever so slightly. The thought of entering the magistrate's room has never even dared to cross Sanhua's mind. She's one of, if not the most important person to Jinzhou, and that is all the more reason why she needs her own space to decompress, especially after reading stacks of paperwork all day or going on a long-lasting mission to a different city. If Sanhua were to even try to peek around her space, she would hate herself for it for the rest of her life.
The sound of gentle patting brought Sanhua back to her senses.
"Come. Rest with me." Jinhsi tapped the other side of her bed.
Sanhua's mouth was left very slightly agape as she processed everything. She was in her lady's room, and now she's about to go to sleep in the same bed as her. Right.
She hesitantly slipped under the comforter, careful not to accidentally hit her lady. They laid their heads down on satin pillowcases and let the fatigue wash over them.
"Are you feeling more relaxed, Sanhua?"
"I am. Thank you, my lady."
"I'm glad to hear it. Rest well."
"Mm, you as well, my lady."
Jinhsi closed her eyes and drifted into a daze, but Sanhua couldn't seem to calm herself completely down, despite telling Jinhsi she felt more at ease. She attempted to recite the Heart Sutra a few times, but to no avail. Her mind always went back to the fact that Jinhsi was mere inches from her.
She turned her body to the opposite side to get into a more comfortable position, but her world suddenly stopped when she saw the magistrate's face. Lips parted, eyebrows relaxed, breathing gentle and steady. All that Sanhua could think about in this moment was that she was the definition of perfect. She ever so carefully tucked a strand of hair behind her lady's ear, making Jinhsi slowly open her eyes to figure out what she felt. She locked eyes with Sanhua, who had her arm extended still, and didn't realize what she was doing at the moment. She was practically drowning in her lady's presence. the only thing Jinhsi heard in the silence behind the walls of the city hall was one single word:
"Beautiful."
Jinhsi's eyes widened.
"S-Sanhua...? Wha-"
She started asking herself questions. Too many questions. Was that really Sanhua? Did she hear her wrong? Was she imagining it-
"M-my apologies, my lady! I don't know what came over me. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, so I will take my leave-"
"Wait."
Jinhsi quickly but cautiously rose and grabbed Sanhua's hand.
"Sanhua, is there... something you would like to talk about with me? I've never seen you be so... emotionally open before."
Sanhua looked down at the floor in slight embarrassment.
"Madam, I just don't want anything to alter us working together-"
"It won't. I promise. Please, talk to me."
Another prolonged silence. Sanhua is playing a game of mental tug-of-war at this point. She doesn't want anything she tells her lady to affect the bond they currently hold, but at the same time she so badly wants to spill out the feelings she's had towards her for what seems like forever.
"My lady, I..."
Jinhsi sits back down slowly."I've harbored these feelings for you for so long, yet I could never put a name on them. I have never felt this way around anybody else but you, and as such, everything I felt was entirely new to me. Though, I have indeed found a label for them as of recent..."
Jinhsi was holding her breath, eyes frantically darting every which way, not knowing where to look in this tense moment. She was worried. Worried that Sanhua was going to leave her.
"My lady, I am... I am in love with you."
Jinhsi stalled, and not even a second after, her eyes went as wide as they could possibly go. Deep down she hoped, oh she hoped, that Sanhua would say that. But most of her thought it was a lost cause, and that the opposite was going to happen instead. It appears she was proven wrong.
"Why?"
"Huh?"
Jinhsi got closer to her.
"Why... do you love me, Sanhua?"
Sanhua hesitated to say anything at all, but her feelings that she put in a box for so long were starting to overflow, and part of her didn't want to stop them from doing so.
"I've always loved you. The way you speak, the way you work, and... the way you look at me." Sanhua flushed again. "Whenever you smile at me, my heart races, and my face grows warm." She, too, smiles softly. "And you are... so beautiful. Your gentle eyes, your long hair, everything about you, really. And I want you to know that about yourself, as well."
A painful silence. Sanhua's eyebrows furrow.
"...Though, if this situation impacts our work, please dismiss everything that I said, and forget that this ha-"
Jinhsi once more took Sanhua's hand in hers, and pulled her so close that their foreheads touched.
"Sanhua..."
Jinhsi looked up at her with lidded eyes.
"Kiss me."
Sanhua was taken aback. Jinhsi was never this blunt unless she was a hundred percent serious. She hesitated, but leaned into her slowly, slowly, until their lips touched. The feeling that washed over Sanhua was like no other. A wave of serenity and relief encompassed her entire being, guiding her hands to hold her beloved lady closer. One to her cheek, one to her upper back. Jinhsi gave herself mercy and leaned in, letting Sanhua support her. After a minute of letting themselves bask in the love they have for each other, they part. A stray tear slides down Jinhsi's cheek.
"You have... no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"My lady...?"
"I love you too, Sanhua."
Jinhsi brings Sanhua back into her, wrapping her arms around her as if the nighttime breeze from outside her room would come and sweep her away. They kiss for another minute more, with only the moon and stars as their witness, shining on them from above. They lean down on each other, gently landing on the bed, with hands intertwined and soft smiles being given to one another.
Jinhsi winces. Her hair accessories prevented her from laying down all the way.
"Ah, I forgot to let my hair down. Let me take all of this off."
Jinhsi sits back up slowly with Sanhua following her lead. She starts, but struggles, with taking her hair accessories off. While they are absolutely gorgeous, the thought of seeing Jinhsi with her hair undone makes Sanhua's heart flutter.
"My lady, would you like some assistance with those?"
"If... you don't mind. I promise they're usually not this difficult to remove."
"It is my honor. You know I would do anything for you."
The suddenness of Sanhua's sudden declaration threw Jinhsi for a loop, causing her cheeks to grow warm. For Sanhua, the thumping of her heart in her ears returned as she felt how soft Jinhsi's hair was in the process of removing her accessories. She was extra careful not to damage them, nor to pull on her lady's hair. It took some time, considering Sanhua has never known how Jinhsi puts up her hair on the daily, or known how her accessories work, but she was successful nonetheless.
She now reveled in the sight of her beloved and her hair draping across her shoulders and extending all the way down to the bed, where the rest of it lay flat.
"Ah, that feels much more comfortable... thank you, Sanhua." Jinhsi turns to her and gives her a gentle smile, and the sight of her nearly made Sanhua fall unconscious. The moonlight lit her eyes up like diamonds, and turned her hair into strands of pure silver.
"...Sanhua? Are you alright?"
"Ah... yes, I'm okay. More than okay. I just never thought that you could get any more beautiful." Sanhua brings her hand to Jinhsi's cheek and carefully tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, showing her a very rare smile. That smile is one that can melt someone's heart in an instant with how warm it is... and one that only Jinhsi will ever see.
The redness in Jinhsi's face floods right back. She's used to compliments from her bodyguard, and now lover, but not like this. And whenever Sanhua smiles... it's like her whole world lights up.
Sanhua pushes herself closer to her love, and starts kissing her in every little spot she can, running her fingers delicately through her hair, emitting quiet giggles from her. Jinhsi's happiness sounds like a song to Sanhua, one that was brought straight down from the heavens.
Jinhsi nuzzles into Sanhua's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her as she drowns in the sweetness of her kisses. Sanhua returns the gesture with the same, gentle embrace. She rests her head near the top of Jinhsi's own, catching some hints of lavender and vanilla. Probably her shampoo. It's light, floral, and calming. It eases Sanhua's senses.
Jinhsi pushes herself up a little to kiss Sanhua on the cheek, looking up at her with pure, unadultered adoration. She smiles.
"I love you, Sanhua."
"I love you too, my lady." Sanhua trails her cheek with her thumb.
Jinhsi lets out a playfully annoyed sigh. "You do not need to continue to use that to address me, you know. I am more than alright with you calling me by name."
Sanhua's eyes widen slightly. "Are you sure? I would hate to be disrespectful-"
Jinhsi lays her hands under Sanhua's own, rubbing her thumbs across the backs of them. "Nonsense. You're my girlfriend now, of course I don't mind." She looks down sheepishly, the pinkish tone on her cheeks returning. "But even if you weren't, it still would not be any bit of a problem to me."
Sanhua's face grows a darker pink. Hearing the word "girlfriend" come out of her beloved's mouth so nonchalantly makes her heart feel like it has wings and will fly out of her chest at any second.
"Then, allow me to correct myself. I love you too... Jinhsi."
Jinhsi closed her eyes and pulled Sanhua a bit closer, savoring the way her name sounds when she says it, and so softly at that. She swirls it around in her head, like the way one would appreciate the flavor of a lollipop. Jinhsi, too, feels like her heart could burst right at this moment.
She felt Sanhua's chest slowly move up and down as she breathed, and let that subtle movement lull her into a daze.
Sanhua closed her eyes, brought one of Jinhsi's hands up to her, and kissed it once. Twice. Three, four, five times. Once on each finger tip. She mirrored the actions to her other hand. Six. Seven. Eight, nine, ten.
Sanhua opened her eyes to see Jinhsi leaned up against her, eyes closed, a soft smile on her face, and her breathing slow and steady. She brought her hand to the back of her head, and combed her fingers through her hair again.
"Tired?"
Jinhsi nodded, eyes still closed. "Can we... stay like this?"
"Of course."
Jinhsi returned her arms to where they were before, wrapped around Sanhua's waist. "Thank you, Sanhua. For everything. I love you."
She removed her hand from Jinhsi's hair and rested it on her back, drawing slow circles with her palm.
"...I love you, too." She placed a kiss on her forehead, and let her eyes rest.
The last thing she felt was Jinhsi's hair.
The last thing she saw was her warm smile.
And the last thing she heard were her sleeping breaths.
She let a single tear fall from her eyes as she drifted off to sleep, with her entire universe right in her arms.
"Sweet dreams, my love."