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Dipper sputtered and swatted at his face when a drop of water landed right on his nose. Mabel—dressed in a big multicolor sweater and jeans covered in custom patches—laughed loudly at him, before Dipper shushed her. The boy readjusted the trapper hat atop his head, his curls poking out from beneath. Ford smiled to himself, watching their antics fondly.
“See that, kids?” Ford motioned to the ceiling of the cave ahead of them. The twins immediately snapped to attention, following his pointing finger to a swath of thick webbing stretched between a pair of stalactites.
‘Gross,” Mabel giggled.
“We must be getting close,” Dipper said, whipping out a blue journal to jot something down quickly.
“Remember, if anything happens, stay behind me and let me handle it.” Ford patted the holster on his hip, where his blaster was secured. “I don’t want you putting yourselves in danger, okay?”
“Grunkle Fooord,” Mabel whined, “we can handle ourselves!”
“Yeah! We aren’t just helpless kids,” Dipper chimed in.
Ford looked down at the two thirteen year olds. They stared back up at him defiantly, with chests puffed out and mouths set into a stern line. If he thought they were helpless, he wouldn't let them accompany him on expeditions like this. But Ford knew how capable they'd proven themselves to be, despite being children. Ford chuckled.
“I know you are. I just worry.” He ruffled the tops of their heads, eliciting light-hearted protests. “Now, onward! Discovery awaits!”
“Adventure!” Mabel whooped.
The three of them set off deeper into the cavern tunnel, winding around jutting rocks and patches of sticky webbing. It didn’t seem to be a deep set of caverns, with many branching paths that led back into the forest. Daylight from these many openings lit the interior with dim light. Mabel kicked at a few long dead leaves. Then, Dipper tripped.
“Dipper!” Ford and Mabel cried out as he went down. They rushed to his side. Dipper shook himself off and got back to his feet with Ford’s help. He looked down and gasped.
He had tripped over a deer skeleton. Mabel clasped both hands over her mouth and glanced around nervously. More bones littered the larger cave that opened up around them, and the whole ceiling was a mess of tangled webs and shadows
“This must be some kind of nest,” Dipper breathed. His hand twitched towards the journal in his jacket, clearly wanting to pull it out. Ford surveyed the surroundings with narrowed eyes, scanning the high ceiling.
“We should leave,” he said after a moment. Dipper’s eyes snapped to him.
“What?! We need to investigate while we’re here; isn’t this what we’re looking for?”
Ford didn’t like the prickle on the back of his neck, and listening to his instincts had kept him alive for decades. He kept searching the webbed ceiling. Surely they were missing something... “I know, my boy. But something doesn’t feel right. We should—”
A huge, dark shape unfurled itself from its hiding place in the webs above. A great, hulking creature peered down at them. It chittered, and its many-eyed face split open vertically into a toothy maw. They all stared up at it, momentarily frozen.
“RUN!”
The twins raced down the nearest tunnel with Ford close behind. The massive body dropped to the floor with a thud and gave chase, hissing and screeching. Dipper and Mabel were agile and quick, thankfully—dodging through webs and vaulting over stalagmites. Back in his prime, Ford would have easily kept up, but he found himself lagging, having to be more careful to maneuver around obstacles. He stole a glance backwards and ducked with a yelp. Splat! A wad of webs stuck to the rocky wall where his head had been but a moment ago. Multiple huge spider-like legs scrabbled over stone in pursuit.
“Keep going, keep going! To the woods!” Ford called after the kids, who had stopped to look back. Luckily, like the other tunnels they’d explored, this one soon opened back up into the forest of Gravity Falls. The canopy of towering pine trees blotted out the orange sun, and the Pines continued to run. For one, optimistic moment. Ford thought perhaps the creature was not going to follow them out into the daylight. But then its large body burst from the cave entrance. Its huge, orange-tipped legs carved grooves in the soft earth as it barrelled towards them. Ford spun to face it and reached for his holster.
Splat! A web shot out and pinned Ford right against a tree. The older man struggled for a moment, but the thick webbing held fast. The spider monster’s huge fanged maw lolled opened in anticipation as it charged.
“Hey! Ugly!”
A barrage of rocks and branches hit the creature’s side, startling it off course. It skidded to a stop, narrowly missing Ford, and spun to face the pair of twins that had attacked it. Their chests heaved, but they looked as confident and headstrong as ever. Ford’s breath hitched and caught in his throat.
“We'll distract it, Grunkle Ford!” Dipper yelled.
“Yeah! Come get some, you eight-legged creep!” Mabel stuck her tongue out at the creature. It screeched in response and lurched after them as they darted into the trees.
“No!” Ford screamed, but they were already gone. The monster disappeared from sight.
His heart hammered in his chest, tears pricked his eyes. He struggled desperately against the webs restraining him, trapping him. It was just like what happened in the Fearamid. Ford recalled the horror and helplessness he'd felt as Bill hunted down his niece and nephew while he could only watch from a cage—when the two brave children faced down a monstrous god, just to protect him. He should be the one protecting them! He couldn't let the kids get hurt, or worse. If something happened to them...
Blind fury and terror surged through him like a storm, electrifying his blood with adrenaline. With all his might, he dug lower and wrapped his six-fingered hand around the blaster in his holster, tearing it free and pulling the trigger. A chunk of webbing exploded off him, instantly fried and scattered from the blast of condensed energy. His arm was free, as well as that side of his body. He jammed the tip of the wide, metal barrel between his body and the webs on his other side and blasted those as well, ignoring how dangerous it was to fire the thing at such close proximity.
With his jacket slightly singed in places, Ford haphazardly ripped himself free of the remaining webbing that trapped him to the tree. He took off in a sprint, following the crashing sounds of the monster in pursuit of his family. Images of Bill holding the kids in his hand, about to kill one of them, flashed through his mind. He heard the twins scream. No, no, no—not again!
Ford finally regained line of sight on the monster, as well as Dipper and Mabel, who were cornered in front of it. Dipper was splayed on the ground with his arms up defensively, right below its dripping fangs. The look of horror on their young faces set Ford into a frenzy.
He roared, rushing forwards, raising his gun and firing. The powerful energy charge slammed into the creature's thick hide, sending it skittering to the side and screeching its anger. Smoke curled off of the wound. One large blade of a leg slammed down right next to Dipper, almost skewering the boy, as the monster started turning towards Ford.
It didn’t spin around in time, though. Ford leapt onto the creature, using the joints of its legs as footholds and clambering onto its back. He bellowed as he jammed the blaster into the space where its body segmented, and pulled the trigger. BLAM, BLAM, BLAM! The giant spider-like monster howled and stumbled. The holes blasted through its body dripped viscous green goo. Mabel pulled Dipper’s arm and the twins dodged sideways, rolling into a bush. Ford held tight as the monster tried to buck him off.
“GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!” Ford plunged his arm into one of the wounds and continued blasting shots into the monster. The rancid smell of something burning stung his nose. The creature let out a pathetic chitter and collapsed.
Ford’s chest heaved. His eyes were wild. He tumbled off the thing’s back and darted to its head. Its vertical maw of teeth still opened and closed slowly. The huge legs struggled against the earth; the monster clung to life. Ford stuck the blaster into its mouth. He pulled the trigger, and didn’t stop pulling it even as the blasts scattered the creature’s head into smoking mush.
“—unkle Ford!”
Ford whipped around when he felt a tug on the back of his jacket. Dipper and Mabel looked up at him with big, scared eyes, their hands tucked to their chests. Ford blinked. He must not have heard them yelling for him.
“It’s dead, Grunkle Ford,” Dipper said, almost pleadingly. Mabel whimpered, holding onto her brother with one hand.
Ford looked at his hand, tembling and holding the smoking blaster. The metal was hot with overuse. The creature, meanwhile, was well and fully blown apart—just heaps of steaming, unnaturally colored meat where its head used to be. Ford inhaled a shuddering breath, suddenly finding it hard to stand. He lowered the gun.
“I-I’m sorry, kids,” he muttered, trying to smile. “Got carried away.”
He dropped to his knees. Dipper and Mabel immediately fell to his side as well, frantically reaching for him.
“Are you okay?!”
“What’s wrong?”
Ford let the blaster drop to the grass at his side. He dragged a hand down his face.
“Nevermind me. Are you two alright? Are you hurt?” He looked the two of them over. They both appeared spooked and worried, but otherwise unharmed—save for a few scrapes, and leaves sticking out of their curls.
Dipper and Mabel exchanged glances, then looked back at their Great Uncle. His hair was a mess, and his clothes were even worse: covered in remnants of webs and spider guts, singes from the blast of the gun, and tears from running through the woods paying no heed to his surroundings. His hands still shook slightly.
“We're okay,” Mabel said. “You saved us.”
“Sorry...” Dipper averted his gaze.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Ford smiled softly to both of them. “I am sorry if I scared you.”
Mabel’s eyes welled up. “We've never seen you like that, Grunkle Ford. What happened?”
The twins watched him expectantly. Ford faltered, looking away.
“I... I'm not entirely sure. I was just... thinking about you kids being in danger, and not being able to do anything,” he mumbled. “Thinking about... last summer. I panicked.”
Dipper and Mabel gave him a knowing look. It saddened him that they understood. He could only imagine what the kids were grappling with after going through such traumas and having the fate of the world put on their shoulders.
“I just wanted to protect you.” Ford put a hand on each of their shoulders. “I couldn't bear it if either of you got hurt on my watch.”
“We'll try to be more careful,” Dipper said.
“No promises, though!” Mabel shot him a wry smile. “We love you Grunkle Ford. Don't get yourself hurt either!” Dipper nodded at that, making a noise of agreement. Ford smiled.
“I love you, too,” he said warmly, and wrapped them both in a firm hug.
“Eeeew! Grunkle Ford!” Mabel giggled and struggled in his grip.
“You're covered in spider goo!” Dipper grinned.
Ford looked down at himself and chuckled. “So it would appear! I suppose we should go get cleaned up.”
The three of them laughed, hugging eachother tight.