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felix never thought dear old father would be disappointed in him.
he took his father’s mercy for granted. he pushed too far, pushed his limits and paid the price.
was it his fault? yes it was. father certainly made it apparent. he shouldn’t have pushed it. he was too reckless, he should have listened too brash, careless. why, why why WHY WHY
father was always more lenient with him than teddy,why is he so mad now he always understood that felix did it for the sake of the company, but maybe now.. it was more selfish than anything he never seen him this mad before why not be mad at teddy. felix learned his lesson.
he knew father was there for him he wasn’t there for him now and always had his best interests in mind what interests?. dear old father only did this because he doesn’t love his son. he knew that he could always count on father to shape him the right way. no he can’t no he can’t he doesn’t have anyone no one is there for him he’s all alone who is going to —
“felix?”
felix jumped in surprise for a moment, he was so deep in thought he completely forgot he was doing his studies with teddy.
felix looked up to see teddy staring in concern at him and what the fuck are you looking at huh. “..is everything alright? what did father say?” oh you’d like to know wouldn’t you, you’d fucking love to know
felix could feel the memories flooding back stop please i don’t want to think about it stop stop , he looked down and shook his head. sighing and waving teddy off. “it’s nothing.” leave me the fuck alone i cant handle this right now “go back to your studies, teddy.”
teddy tilted his head with even more concern. “is it really nothing? you snapped your pencil in half and you still haven’t noticed.”
felix looked down at— ah, his pencil did snap in half. no no everything is going wrong why is everything going wrong today felix sighed and tossed it aside, “get me a new one.” he waved his hand off to teddy, gesturing him to do so.
teddy got up and passed him a new pencil, felix yanked took it from his hand and continued to write.. um. well he was trying to, why is teddy still standing there? “go. now.” felix gritted, eyes dead focused on his book, tears welling up in his eyes. no no no stop stop stop it not right now not in front of HIM he discreetly rubbed at his face and waved teddy off. for fucks sake cant you do anything right and leave me alone do you even have a fucking brain LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE NOW JUST LEAVE
teddy just stood there, gripping the hem of his shirt and biting his lip in worry. you’re such a fucking pathetic bloody idiot why can’t you just—
“you know, it’s okay to be sad.. i heard someone said it’s best to let out your feelings, so they don’t bottle up inside.”
teddy placed leaned down and placed a hand on felix’s shoulder. what are you doing “it’s okay felix. i know you did your best.”
and suddenly, to felix’s shock, ted wrapped his arms around felix, pulling him in a tight hug. WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP STO—
“it’s okay. i promise you it’s okay.“
..
ted gripped felix tight, his nerves slowly building up inside. was it a mistake for him to do that? maybe he shouldn’t have. maybe felix actually was alright?
but he wasn’t. ted got his answer as he felt felix hug him back. and very quickly, did his brother crumble down into his hug, shaking and letting his tears fall and stain his cheeks.
“it’s okay, i’m here.” he said for the last time, not saying anything else. he let himself be silent, to give space, to let felix cry it out.
the room was completely silent, except for the tiny, shrivelled husk of felix huxley trembling in ted’s arms and sobbing. that was all you could hear.
and that was all felix needed.
and that was what he really needed.
and that was what he really needed to hear, and to have.
he cried it out for a while, maybe even for 10 minutes or so, until he calmed down a bit.
now, all he was doing, was just holding onto ted, feeling the warmth of his embrace. feeling his stress melt away into the hug.
“thank you.” he said in a hush whisper. im sorry
and that was all he said. im so sorry theodore