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Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking your Colleague

Summary:

Lois Lane’s Guide into stalking your Colleague

“Little on the nose, don’t you think?” Jimmy asked.

“Hm. You’re right.”

 
Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking knowing your Colleague

“A bit.. Over the top but it's okay.”

“Such an over dramatic human, Mr. Olsen.”

“I’m an accomplice, remember? I gotta up the ante.”

 

Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking knowing befriending your Colleague

“Much better.”

“I hate you.”

“As your friend I am obliged to tell you I love you too.”

Lois rolled her eyes.

Notes:

Prompts used

everyone is scared of the big bad/morally ambiguous guy. who you should really be scared of though? his wife, dick grayson

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Everyone loved Clark, everybody knew him entirely because of his farm boy persona, but no one knew him entirely, entirely. That fact alone made Lois Lane Itched for more information, more.. Pizzas, most certainly more gossip. She loved entertaining ideas that opposed her opinions and beliefs, it's what makes her the best in her field. The top of the line news bringer, bringing delight and awe amidst chaos and malice.

That exaggerates everything, but that depends on the person, isn’t it? If they believe in some random cliche story telling or a real news reporter rising from the Daily news planet. Lois Lane prides herself with her known knowledge of, well.. Knowing everyone! So, not knowing the big farmboy glasses with monotone features and a great build was a shock to her, even her own colleagues. Clark kent's aura was inviting, an open person to talk to, yet mysterious at the same time lingered throughout the man, as if it was hiding a deep dark secret that others might think it–

“Really?” The Man asked Lois, deadpanning her. “You’re really describing him like that?”

“Not now, Jimbo.” She said with a straight voice.

This is a Mystery worth exploring; uncovering Clark Kent’s the deepest darkest secret–

“You’re talking about your colleague, and your friend in that way! you’re making him look like he's a Murderer.“ Jimmy

Lois, deadpanned over him, and then smiled wickedly.

Jimmy winced at her, knowing her full antics already and told her, “I am NOT going to be an accomplice.” eating his meal.

“Too late, you already are one.” Lois smiled. “Plus you can’t tell this to farm boy anyways, You’re gonna break his sweet little heart.” She sarcastically said with a dramatic pose, covering her chest with her hand like she was hurt, as well as trying to ‘stab’ her heart with the knife on the steak. 

“Stop being dramatic.” Jimmy

“Plus you need to help me stalk your best friend.”

“He is not my best friend!” He said, nearly shouting. “We’ve barely even interacted!”

“You two go on dates though?”

“Because Percy gives us the same topic to investigate?” He paused, his utensils cluttered at the plate. “He’s a friend, but I barely know the guy!”

“Hmm.. That doesn’t qualify.” She took one slice of her steak and ate it while she continued. “Plus, you didn’t deny.”

“Deny what?”

“Dates.”

Jimmy groaned. “Trust me, he’s not that kind of person.” He continued. “Plus he already has someone if I remember correctly.”

“Oh?” Lois stopped chewing for a while, took her pen and paper as if she was trying to take notes.”Do tell, Journalist Jimmy Olsen. ” Her smile turned into a devious one.

He groaned again, “I just noticed because of his behaviors whenever we’re together investigating.” he paused. “He doesn’t really talk about anything other than work honestly.” he continued. “He–”

Before he could say anything else, their topic at hand, Mr. Clark Kent arrived at their table.

“Speak of the devil!” Lois loudly said. “Mr. Clark Kent! How pompous you look.”

“Uh, thanks–”

“Speaking of which; Can I ask you something, Farm boy?”

Clark’s face scrunched up and confused. “Uh–”

“See thanks.” She flipped her notepad and looked at him directly. “Are you and Jimmy dating?”

“Lois!”

“What? If you don't wanna tell me, I can get it through the source.”

Jimmy groaned, and looked at Clark. “Sorry about this.” He whispered. 

Clark chuckled at Jimmy, “It’s no big deal, Jimbo.” and then looked at Lois with a smile on his face. “Uh, no actually–” he laughed again, continuing. “I already have someone else.”

Lois scribbled. “Pray tell.”

“I– well I can’t.” Clark said, placing his dish right in front of them. “Not at the moment, at least.” He smiled as his phone started ringing and as soon as he picked up the phone, his face started to change and said. “Sorry– emergency.” Rushing through the back door of the restaurant and into the void.

“That’s new.”

“Not really.” Jimmy sighed, which Lois got invested with. “He always does that. Sometimes he comes back while I was taking a picture of an incident, some other times he just flat out never came back.”

“Is that so…”

“It is so.”

If Lois Lane wasn’t that interested before, she was wildly intrigued now.

–<v>–

 

Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking your Colleague

“Little on the nose, don’t you think?” Jimmy asked.

“Hm. You’re right.”

Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking knowing your Colleague

“A bit.. Over the top but it's okay.”

“Such an over dramatic human, Mr. Olsen.”

“I’m an accomplice, remember? I gotta up the ante.”

Lois Lane’s Guide into Stalking knowing befriending your Colleague

“Much better.” 

“I hate you.”

“As your friend I am obliged to tell you I love you too.”

Lois rolled her eyes. 

 

Day 1

 

The Observation regarding the subject, Clark Kent awaiting his line in the cafeteria to order something simple; a bread. Further inspection shows that the subject deliberately ordered something minimal because of another matter; A lunch box.

Lunch box that contains– Lois paused, looking at the general direction of her subject. It was a good thing they were far from the specimen’s table, enough to fool Kent but not enough to investigate in Lois’ defense.

“Wow, have you seen Farmboy’s lunch?” She asked Jimmy.

“He lives in Kansas, of course he’s gonna have a lot of rice or eggs or whatever.”

“No, look.”

Upon inspection through the lunchbox that contained a plethora of meals stacked in 4, and in those four, I had suspected most of them have, not one, not two, but three sticky notes that when our subject read, smiled and chuckled. Putting the notes behind his phone case and resumed his lunch.

This further illustrates the suspicion of my findings that Mr. Kent has a Female–

Jimmy stopped for a while. “Wait, how did you get that conclusion?”

“What what.”

“You know?” He Gestured.

“A female.. Partner?”

“Well, duh!” He ate his lunch slowly. “You don’t think a man does that?”

“What? Go to the kitchen like Women do?” She paused. “You wounded me, My friend. I didn’t decide who his partner is, you just made that conclusion. ” She sarcastically said. “I was merely observing. Besides, I haven't finished speculating about Mr. Kent.” She glared. “You disturbed me.”

“Go on then, Speculate your Journalism, Ms. Lois Lane.”

This is a clear sign that Mr. Kent has a female– or rather a partner of sorts that made him lunch. It was a curious thought considering he had not been presenting anything regarding his partner nor did he ever had to talk to anyone regarding his personal life.

The only conclusion I can provide at the moment is the thoughtful and care about his partner provided that he hadn’t been revealing the individual directly, only vague interpretations that lead to my own supposition–

Lois scrambled. “Oh shit he’s coming here!” She whispered frantically through her clothing and her way of sitting that she immediately corrected.

“Not my problem.” Jimmy said, which Lois cursed her through her breath as he wasn’t all that worried because of his position being behind Clark's vicinity eating his lunch.

Lois tried to compose herself, trying to get busy when Clark greeted them with excitement.

“Heyyyy Farm boy.” She smiled, trying to act casual. “Whatcha doin 'in here?”

Clark smiled, “Well, My partner wanted to give you two this–” Handing two lunchboxes, complete with dishes that they’ve seen before and haven’t seen before . Both Lois and Jimmy looked at the item, and then at Clark, and then another glance over the lunchboxes.

Clark’s voice got nervous. “Well–” He coughed. “I kind of–” He paused again. “Asked him to pack two more, for a well earned greeting since both of you were nice enough to welcome me to the firm.” He ended all while he put the two lunch boxes at their tables.

Him, eh. Lois thought to herself, looking deliberately at Jimmy with a smirk, as if she was communicating with him through gestures and somehow, he knew exactly what she was talking about.

They were curious about the lunches they were given, looked at them for a long while and then were shocked it was delicate and too lavished to its presentation. It looked like it came out from a five star restaurant.

Both of them took a bite of their respective lunches given to them. One bite and they were in heaven, like a tasteful desire in one bite.

Lois was still skeptical and asked,  “Are you sure your partner isn’t just buying this?”

“Not really, he prepared it earlier–”

“I stand corrected, Farm boy.” She said.

“Sorry?”

“You’re a lucky man getting your partner, whoever he might be.” Lois praised.

Clark smiled. “I really do.”

Before they could even make conversation, Perry called out to Clark about a paper he had initially drafted before going to lunch.

“Sorry, I need to go.” Clark said. “I’ll get the boxes later.” He smiled, before being whisked away by the big bad man.

Lois looked at his direction before eating the whole lunchbox that took longer than she expected her to finish.

“Changing your mind?” Jimmy asked. “I mean we got to know a little more about him, so you can just– stop this.

“Nope.” She smiled. “This just got interesting.” she continued. “Plus it's the first day of our investigation, can’t hurt if we do a little bit more.”

Jimmy sighed, defeated at the prospect of his friendship over this menace of a woman.

“I wanna resign.”

“After this, bub.” Taking a spoonful of Jimmy’s lunch box. 

 

–<v>–

 

Day 2

 

The second day of investigating the said subject, Mr. Clark Kent. This is an observation based on findings, facsimiles and other variables that intended to be added later onto this recording.

The recording stopped for a while, as Jimmy took a breather and slouched over an alleyway wall. “Wait..” He breathed. “A while.” he puffed his chest. “Where are we anyways?” He asked Lois, who was busy still trying to find something, or rather someone.

The recorder ticked again.

My findings suggested a dinner date with an individual dated today, 6pm sharp. I had asked the staff from the restaurant to update the situation first to me, if they ever clock in a man named Kent or a Farm boy appearance with glasses with a different name.

“How do YOU know he wouldn't name the reservation just his last name?”

Lois, deadpanned in his vicinity. “You do know He’s a journalist, right?” She paused. “Every journalist I know of doesn’t like to be followed, hence me being cautious. Maybe he put it on a different name, maybe not. We’ll just have to see.” She ended, trying to drag Jimmy through the other side of the street where the restaurant was as Lois continued her recorded message.

Anticipation is the word I'd describe from this situation. The reservation was still on the clock, as time ticked throughout the entire night. This–

“Wait, how did you even know they’re going on a dinner date anyways? And surprisingly the next day?”

Lois smirked. “I have my sources.”

Jimmy raised his eyebrow.

“Come on.”

“I’m not budging.”

Lois sighed. “Bribing, duh.” She continued. “Heard a little bit about their reservation through one of our colleagues he’s working with. Said he mentioned taking his partner to some restaurant.” She paused for a while. “Then worked my little magic, and voila.”

“Why can’t you just ask him like any normal colleague?” Jimmy asked. “You know, just a normal, very normal and honest conversation. Like; ‘hey we’re just curious about your life, mind we interview you?’”

“Farm boy won’t like that.”

“He lives in Kansas, of course he would.” He paused. “Plus he might like your enthusiasm for his life. His partner would probably love you.”

Lois groaned. “It's boringgggg!” She continued. “Plus He’s been in the Daily Planet since like. What? Five months ago! He hadn’t even mentioned he had a partner with– OH HI CLARK!” She stuttered and stumbled upon seeing the man clad in a suit with dark mute tones carrying a bouquet filled with an ensemble of blue flowers.

Lois immediately latched onto Jimmy like lovers did and said. “A coincidence seeing you here!”

“Oh, Lois.” Clark greeted her. “Jimmy.”


“Clark.” Jimmy greeted with a crooked smile.

“What are you guys doing here?” Clark asked.

“Oh.. Sightseeing.. All that jazz…” Lois said as she tried to be affectionate to Jimmy, touching his cheek through his chest. “We were just passing by when this ‘ol Jimmy wanted to surprise me with a reservation at that restaurant.” She pointed out the general direction of the only restaurant in the vicinity.

“Oh. that place.” Clark said.

“Yeaaahhh, but our reservations weren’t counted. Too many people.” Lois explained. It wasn’t far from the truth, as this particular Restaurant was always packed with reservations that reached for weeks.

“Ah. Well–” Clark scratched his neck. “My partner told me the same.” He continued. “He had some connections to squeeze us one.” Smiling at the end.

“Reaaallyy…” Lois toyed with the word, curiosity deepened. “Which.. Connections.”

“Oh, well I–” Before Clark could even say any explanation, a black sleek vehicle stopped in front of the Restaurant, which alerted the man, looking both of them in apologetic glances, telling them. “Sorry, that's him. I– gotta go now.” He smiled. “See you guys tomorrow?” with both nodding.

“Sure.” Jimmy said, waving with a smile.

“Have fun, Farm boy.” Winking and smiling at Clark.

Clark then walked across the street to greet his partner, opening the door for him on the pavement and finally looking at the partner he had mentioned yesterday. The partner, donned a tight blue bodycon dress that hugged his entire couture body glimmering from the lights, his neck wrapped in a light blue boa that outstretched though his body.

“Wow.” Jimmy said.

Lois smirked. “Wow indeed.” She said, “Can’t believe Farm boy snagged a beauty like him.”

Through the distance, Lois and Jimmy noticed their unspoken whispers and giggles. The Partner then looked at their general direction, smiled and waved. Both of them did the same with a wave and a smile before Clark ushered his partner inside the Restaurant with his hand on his partner’s hips.

Lois whistled. “A looker from behind and front.” She paused. “Never knew, man.”

Jimmy intrudes, “Well, Can’t blame him for hiding that beauty.”

“Feeling the same gender love, Mr. Olsen?”

“Never said anything.” Jimmy rebutted. “Maybe I can, maybe not.”


“Touche, Mister.” Lois smiled.
 

–<v>–

 

Day 3 & 4

The Third or.. Fourth day of my further investigation relies on Knowing the Subject’s partner, whom I had only met with a glance prior to this recording. Suffice to say that It had been a lot harder to navigate this research of this particular individual who had no prior record of ever going to the Daily Planet, even so far as to never leaving a note, nor specks or hair and breathing the air the same as Metropolis does.

It also suggested that the subject’s partner is not from neither here nor anywhere else near Metropolis, further suggesting my suspicions of being a foreigner… which also suggests that; how the fuck did this Farm boy even get this mysterious beauty?

Jimmy Groaned. “Can you not, Lois Lane?”

“What?”

“That.”

“That..?”

“Your further inspection over Clark!” Jimmy sighed. “We’re in the middle of a hostage situation yet the great journalist of the Daily Planet, Lois Lane, is still keeping tabs of her Colleague’s life and partner altogether!”

Lois brushed it off, as she sat next to Jimmy, slouching down and groaning as she flopped down. “You’re so uptight.”

“When it comes to you?” He scoffed. “Someone had to be.” Jimmy said.

“Oh don’t worry. God.” She blew a raspberry. “Superman’s gonna save us anyways.”

“In the middle of the night?” Jimmy asked.


“Justice never sleeps.” She replied.

“That’s batman, dumbo.”

“It can be applied to Superman!” Lois argued, but had a curious face. “Do you think he never sleeps?”

“Who?” Jimmy asked. “Batman?”

“He’s already there to begin with.” Lois said. “No need to count the man who’s sleep schedule is the same as Vampires.”

He made a face that agreed with her. “That’s true.”

“What I meant was; If Superman never sleeps.” Lois clarified. “I mean the dude’s got like superhuman strength, whatever you think of that involves never sleeping, you know?”

“I think you’re up to something there.”

“Yeahhh?” Lois chuckled. “Just a speculation though. Maybe he’s sleeping soundly while nearly half of the metropolis are held hostage.”

The moment they finished arguing, one of the Hostage takers walked up to them with a gun in their heads.

Both of them pulled up their hands.

“Get him first.”

“Really?”

Lois smiled, and said. “Really.”

Jimmy groaned, but both of them were taken away from their spots. One of the people with ski masks took Lois from the other’s grasp and both pointed their guns towards their heads as they were being displayed at the glass window panes of their own office for the officers below to see.

Not a moment or later, Superman arrived and swooped both of them in complete danger, but was attacked by another superhuman that made Jimmy and Lois scream for their lives as they went midair.

Fortunately, both of them were saved by two other superheroes that were not in Lois’ list of ‘People who have never touched Metropolis’ both of which included Nightwing and Batman.

They were taken away immediately midair and placed in another building, as they smashed through three windows together.

Lois and Jimmy breathe a sigh of relief as they were somehow safe.

“I’m never overstaying at Daily Planet ever again.”

“Hey, at least you got to experience being a hostage.”

Jimmy groaned.

The incident took longer than the police officers should’ve intended. The Criminals, alongside the superhuman ones, were taken away by the Justice League entirely.

Both Lois and Jimmy went downstairs to the opposite building where they were placed, rushing through the plethora of Police officers and marshals of Metropolis. Some people wanted to mush into the conversations and see Superman, Nightwing, and Batman, but no one showed up, much to Lois’ surprise. She knew they weren’t as friendly with flashing lights and Journalists taking up their space.

Once they were in the clear for no Injuries, Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief knowing it was all over.

“Finally.” He said, walking away from the Daily Planet.

Lois joined him, “I got gossip.”

He chuckled. “After we’ve been through?”

“Mhhm.” She took his arm and rushed through one of the alleyways not far from the affected buildings caught from the crossfire.

They immediately went into place, peering through just a tiny bit of their eyes lurking through as they saw Superman, detested and in a defeated stance. It was as if his puppy ears were drooping. The one who was scolding him was none other than Nightwing, and beside him was Batman.

Their voices were faint, but still audible. As if their conversation went a little longer before they arrived.

“I told you to contact me!” Nightwing puffed. “Your office was literally flooded with–” and it was inaudible for their end, but both of them knew that it was severe enough to be looking like a lost puppy.

“It was under control–”

“Yeah! Because you're superman.” Nightwing puffed. “I know that well enough since I married you.” He sighed. “At least have a little faith in me.” he paused for a long while looking at the floor for what seemed hours, before Nightwing climbed into the batmobile and forcefully closed the door with a thud.

“Batman I–”

“Don’t argue with me. I’m not Nightwing.” Before hopping inside and revering the engine and leaving Superman in dismay.

Superman was gone in a second, air filtering out his escape through the alleyway with sadness plastered all throughout his face.

“Well.” Lois paused. “I think Superman has a super weakness.”

Jimmy groaned. 

 

–<v>–

Day 5, 6 & 7


“You know,” Lois paused, toying her pen while she continued.  “I feel bad about farm boy.”

Jimmy, to his surprise, was shocked. “You got a conscience?” He asked while Lois rattled her seat near his desk. “Is this an alternate universe where you’re actually a morally good person and not an all black personality?”

“Sometimes you gotta let go.”

“Like your excessive obsession over Clark and his lover.”

“I love the grasp of gossip.”

“Gossip doesn't love you.”

“Speaking of which–” She pulled out her tape recorder and started the session, which made Jimmy groan in frustration.

It has been three days since our last encounter with the subject. Where was he at those long awaited days? Who knows.

My speculation suggested into the incident four days ago that included the whole staff, with the subject involved amongst the near death experience that Clark Kent, The Superman–

“Wait, hold up.” Jimmy stopped her. “Clark? Superman?”

“It does add up.” Lois clarified.

“How?” he asked again.

“How do you coincidentally get depressed at the same time Superman got reprimanded by his own husband?”

“You're–”

“A genius, I know.”

“Crazy.” He said. “But also plausible.” Jimmy made a face that looked curious yet concerned about the fact he just learned. “He even looked like a kicked dog when he got nagged.”

“The same face.”

“The glasses sure were a treat though.” Jimmy said. “Never knew how effective that one was.”

“We were fooled by Farm boy’s diligence and honesty.” She paused. “Even so far as to bribe me with lunchboxes.”

“It was one time.”

“Still.” She sighed, “He had me in his grimy hands, Jimmy..” making a disgusted face as she continued. “Even Nightwing had me in his clutches…”

He chuckled. “Sucks to suck.”


–<v>–

 

Day 8 

 

“You know, I hate you, deeply.” Jimmy told Lois.

“I know. That’s why I'm always sticking at you.” Lois smiled, but Jimmy knew that already.

“Stop squirming.”

“You stop.” Lois fired back at him.

“Nuh uh,”

Both of them looked in their respective direction in silence.

“We’re fucked aren’t we.” Jimmy asked her.

“Yeap.”

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with Superman and Nightwing.” He paused. “And you.” He tried to mutter. “The worst of all.”

“Aw, you love me too much.” Lois said, sarcastically.

Both of them looked at the general vicinity of where Superman and Nightwing were, piled with bodies and the other members who weren’t injured lunged at them as they bicker.

“You never texted me! Even called me–” Nightwing kicked the man from behind. “I waited!”

“I thought you needed space–” Superman only stood there, unfazed over the men punching, kicking, even whacking him with a steel blade which didn’t work on his thick skin.

“Space–” Nightwing kicked another person, and then another, and another with his escrima stick as it became a staff. “I called you!”

“My Phone–”

“Even B can call me within minutes!” He paused for a while, trying to compose himself as one of the bigger opponents tried to knock him down, but was quick enough to dodge and took a long beating before Nightwing said, “Stay down!” He shouted, echoing throughout the place. The big man tried to stand up, but was stopped by the escrima stick striking him in the head, completely defeated.

“You’re comparing me with a billionaire who can take a call for you wherever you are.”

“God–!” Nightwing groaned. “It’s not that! I'm setting an example for someone who hasn’t even called me in years , Clark. Years! You haven’t even–”

The complete argument went through Lois and Jimmy’s mind like a background static. Both of them looked deadpanned at the couple.

“So..” Jimmy said, still eyes at them.

“Yeah. Burning my tape recorder.” 

 

–<v>–

Notes:

Idk if youll love this.. i hope u do beause a had a little fun with this!!