Chapter Text
Zane was never one to understand emotions like his peers would. Which isn’t really shocking given he was not human, even if he insisted he is.
Which, let's be real, no actual human would insist they’re real almost everyday.
Of course, this did lead to some suspecting he might just be weird or totally crazy, but he tried not to pay them any mind. But even as a nindroid he still felt affected by the comments some his classmates would make on his behalf. What especially affected him too, was how he felt disconnected from his friends in almost every conversation. None of them judged him for how he was, absolutely not, but he could see that even they sometimes felt a bit weird having to explain basic common sense to him, or just struggle to do so.
This led to a conversation with his fellow lightning ninja, where he summarized his issue. And just like that, 2 months later, Zane had a brand new, upgraded system and some of his motor compartments fixed up. He didn’t have to wheel around anymore and he could also now understand what the weird things he’d feel here and there were. With the help of Jay of course.
What he did not expect though, was to relate to what Jay said when explaining how love felt like.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Jay quickly shook his head at Zane’s words, the two in Jay’s parent’s garage where they would hang out when Zane needed repairs. “What do you mean by saying ‘ oh ’...?”
“I..” Weirdly enough, Zane was at a loss of words. After the brunette had explained what this intense emotion felt like he had actually found a responsive information, telling him he had felt like this. Especially around a specific black haired boy who had his music in his ears all the time.
Oh Gods.
What he would also know now, was how anxiety felt like! A round of applause for Jay’s master skills of fucking with Zane’s software everyone! Got his hands shaking and everything!
“Zane, calm down..” Blue was by now sitting on the spinning chair by the worktable. It felt so uncanny, watching Zane walking back and forth, on the cliff of a nervous breakdown it seemed, flexing his fingers so they wouldn't freeze. Another upgrade! Stimming! Yeahhhhh!!!
“How am I supposed to calm down? I just realized I have held a romantic attraction towards Cole for the last approximately 4 months and I have never processed that information!” His pacing stopped, finally facing his friend who was starting to regret putting an emotion switch on his friend. “What do I do now? I can’t tell him, he’s verbally said he is ‘not into such stuff’ on multiple occasions! Such information could cause a rift in the dynamic of our friend group and disturb our efficiency as a team!”
And maybe Jay shouldn't have made his system so sensitive.
“Zane, nothing like this would happen. Cole’s a chill guy, he wouldn’t start avoiding you if you confess. Plus you could be wrong, your system is literally brand new. Maybe it hasn’t processed the information properly.” Zane felt like his eye might’ve twitched. Probably it did because Jay’s eyes seemed to widen just barely.
“I have data that i have thought about holding his hand and kissing him more than once, I'm sure my system is pretty functional.”
“...Okay then, totally working, uhm-” Glancing to the side, Blue had to think for a little while, unsure of what to do in this situation. It was, obviously, an unknown territory to have Zane pacing around the room, rambling under his breath, quietly connecting more and more dots that the lightning was sure he was about to combust from the overwhelming information. Was that how his team felt when Jay would freak out during a mission? “Well if you don’t.. want to tell him, try and find an outlet maybe? This helped me out quite a lot with Kai.”
Zane turned to look at his friend, still flexing his fingers, cold fog coming off the digits. His face was twisted with worry, having gone paler than usual, which said a lot given his albinism. “Explain ‘an outlet’.”
“Y’know-”
“If I had the knowledge I wouldn't be asking, Jay.”
“Damn, who knew giving you more complex emotions would make you sassy as well.” Jay huffed as he glanced to the side, before continuing where he was cut off. ”It's like.. For example, when I was crushing on Kai I would write messages about him in binary numbers. It helped me get my thoughts out of my head and it calmed me down a bit, knowing he won’t understand any of it.”
The master of Ice stayed quiet, skittish as his eyebrows were knitted together, his fingers opening and closing over and over. Jay would have to check them out more frequently if he continued like that. “So it’s like- I should just find a way to tell him but not really tell him?”
“I mean.. Yeah if that’s how you get it. Write him poems? Some people write letters and never send them.” Jays suggestion got Zane to nod, thinking over the suggestion.
“I guess it could work..” His tone was unsure as he would soon find out, the newly appeared so called ‘overthinking’ would come knocking at his door…hard drive.. Motherboard? Whatever. A slowly rising in volume, quite troubled groan followed.”I can’t write poems about him! He could find them, we spent a lot of time together! What if he comes over and finds them while I'm not in the room? Or worse, while I’m with him!”
“Well… You can try music? Make him a playlist?”
“He would find it confusing why I would listen to his favorite bands when he has the full knowledge that I do not enjoy rock music.”
“Well, shit, I don't know what you want me to give you, Zane!” Jay’s words weren’t harsh as he lifted his hands in surrender before dropping him in his lap again. A sigh left his lips as he leaned down, detaching his leg prosthetic off to fix some loose compartments he had noticed earlier. “Use morse code or something, I don't know.”
The next few seconds were spent in silence as Jay had turned to the work desk, a screwdriver in hand as he tightened a few of the screws keeping the metal paneling covering the mechanism of the device. Once Blue registered the silence he grew confused, and a bit worried the nindroid might have ran out on him. Slowly, he turned his chair to look at Zane. Said ninja had by now stopped in one place, hands no longer stimming as he just stared at his friend wide eyed, lips slightly agape.
“You can’t be serious.”
And that’s how, ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, Zane found himself an outlet. By tapping out small confessions with his pen on the surface of his desk whenever he had a shared class with a particular elemental master of Earth. Of course, he had no prior knowledge if Cole knew morse code, so he did a simple greeting first and once Cole didn’t react to it whatsoever he slowly grew comfortable with tap, tap, tapping his heart out on the wooden surface.
He and Jay had shared the news on his new system, the rest quite happy now that Zane had a better understanding of the world around him, though he still struggled with a thing or two.
For example, giving physical attention to someone. It had become a more frequent occurrence for him to zone out in class and imagen running his fingers through black hair, or dragging his finger over the small bump on the nose of his love interest. Though he'd never dare to actually do such things.
He remembered the one time he tried was in class. Him and Cole were sharing the desk, given they always did. The raven always had the habit of being quite affectionate to everyone, but never to Zane. This was one of his indicators as to why he believed Cole didn’t find him as a potential suitor. Besides the point.
This day in particular, the Earth elemental had fallen asleep, his head resting on his arms as he was slumped over the desk. Usually, Zane would wake him up so he doesn’t miss anything. But this time all he could do was stare at Cole’s hair, seriously considering linking his fingers through it.
He had no clue where the idea even came from, but it got his head to feel warm from the amount of over analyzing he did. And just as he, at last, found the courage to lift his hand, finger hovering over the front strands, the bell rang, startling the boy awake. Thankfully, Zane was quick enough to retrieve his hand before the raven saw his godawful failed attempt.
So, yeah, he was, as Jay would put it: A gay disaster.
Though Zane didn’t want to figure out if he was gay or some other label as of the moment. Not that it was the time either, he still had to eat his lunch.
“Dude, I’m convinced the lunch lady does not like me.” Lloyd’s complaint was dragged out as he plopped on the seat beside Kai, a slice of pizza and some carton milk on the side placed on his tray.
“The lunch lady doesn’t like anyone, don’t think you’re special.” Zane didn’t really appreciate how Kai spoke with his mouth full, but nodded nonetheless.
“Kai is correct. She always seems to be in a rather agitated mood whenever lunch time comes around, no matter who’s food she is serving.”
“Yeah, well, at least I know some things don’t change. Even if the whole town knows my identity now I’m still treated like a teenager by some.” The blond didn’t seem all too excited for such a conversation so he instead decided to take out his comics and list through them while munching on his pizza.
The cafeteria wasn’t particularly full, some of their classmates using the time to either smoke or go to the nearby convenience store to buy food there instead. Fire and Lightning had turned to continue their own conversation, the couple probably talking about their math assignment they had to finish due next Friday.
The doors to the lunchroom opened, and as if with some supernatural powers, Zane already knew it would be Cole and Nya. He was proven correct once he turned his head to see his fellow teammates making their way over. Nya sat on her usual spot beside Kai, as Zane scooted over to make more space for the master of earth.
“Sup, Frosty.” Zane’s smile tugged into a small grin instead of the loopy smile he would give, had he been talking to Cole on the phone. Like he usually did. He had grown particularly fond of the little pun nicknames the raven would some up with. He also, thankfully, was able to keep his expressions at bay when around the boy.
“Hello, Cole. I figured you might be delayed to get here on time for there to still be desert so I made sure to grab you a portion.” With that, he pushed a small plastic container towards his companion, a piece of cheesecake inside it. Even though he knew Cole’s preferred flavour was chocolate, he also had the knowledge that the raven could care less what the cake was. It was cake after all.
Sure he did have to sprint all the way here after literature to make sure he’ll actually have a chance to get the desert, but the grin on Cole’s lips made it all the more worth it.
“Aw, sweet! Thanks, Z!” That being said, Cole opened the plastic box and dug into the sweet, only lifting his head to look at Kai. ”See? That’s why he’s my favorite!”
Okay, how about….. Zane just.. Explodes in the middle of the cafeteria? Just one big, sudden kaboom? With hearts and small snowflakes being left behind.
He felt like that was a quite realistic possibility, trying his damn hardest to calm himself down so the internal fans keeping him from overheating don’t become audible to the whole population of the room. Not to mention the pure torture he went through to not became giddy and just kiss every mole on Cole’s face. Of course, he wouldn’t do that! He wished he would, but he won’t!
Kai rolled his eyes, his arm plopped around blue’s shoulder. “You’d say the same about me if I got you a cake.”
“ You’d do it just to prove a point. Zane does it, because he’s the best.” He didn’t even care that Cole was talking with his mouth full! What the hell was happening to him? ?Gods, he figures out he has a crush on his friend and suddenly he was ready to overlook anything that usually bothered him because whatever Cole did, Zane loved!
He really was a disaster! So much so, that he didn’t ever register the calling of his name until he felt a soft tap on his shoulder, having zoned out with Cole's words echoing in his head. Glancing to his left he saw none other than said earth elemental, his lips tugged in what Zane swore was the most adorable sheepish smile he’s ever seen the raven pull. The realization that the cafeteria was now empty and their friends were gone didn’t settle in until Cole spoke.
“You coming? I doubt you’d want to be late for English.”
Had he really not heard the bell ring? Apparently he hasn't.
“R-right! English.” Another thing from his upgrade, he now understood what Jay had to go through when he would stutter. Not to mention the stammering he’d get every now and then. After quickly collecting his stuff from the table and disposing of his lunch, the duo made their way down the hall.
Cole, of course had his headphones on his head, though the one on his left, where the master of ice was, was pushed off, the music slightly audible. Blue eyes couldn’t help but scan his fellow ninja out of his peripheral. He was wearing his usual attire, sleeveless shirt with a band name in the front, along with the preferred choice of baggy cargo pants with way too many pockets. White never understood the need for so much space but he found it charming.
Of course, the useless queer he was, he couldn’t help but spend a few seconds staring at Cole’s exposed arm. He always registered the fact that the master of earth was built, how could you not? But never, and I mean never has the blond felt this big of an attraction to the way his muscles would flex, or how whenever the raven would fix up his top he’d get a quick peek at his collarbones.
He tore his eyes away from his teammate before he got caught. Or had his system overload.
Earth and Ice soon walked in their class, sitting at their usual spot after Zane apologized for being late, even if it was by a minute. Cole didn't say anything except a small apology before plopping his bag on their desk.
Once in their seats, Zane had his workspace all set up, trying to ignore Cole's proximity by distracting himself by aligning his pens perfectly against one another. As the teacher started explaining the next work they'd be studying, the paler boy couldn't help but have his eyes shoot quick glances towards the boy beside him. His pen softly started tapping on his textbook so the noise wasn't that noticeable.
‘I like your hair today. I like it everyday, actually.’
That day in particular Cole seemed to have decided to ditch his usual man bun he'd wear, as much as Zane loved it, and have his hair down. Even if it was a bit bothersome, he found that some of his layers weren't even quite lonely. He tapped again.
‘You changed your gauges. Tiger's eye suits you.’
He focused his gaze somewhere else.
‘Your hands look dry.’
He turned the pen around and wrote something really quick on a sticky note he had, before passing it to his teammate.
Cole, a bit surprised Zane was the one to pass a note first, glanced at the teacher before taking the parchment.
‘Did you forget to use your eczema treatment again?’
Cole, looked at his hands for a second before sending the ice elemental a small amused glance, with one of his iconic, heart tripping crooked smiles, before writing down an answer.
‘Yeah, was in a rush today :p’
Zane wrote an answer back.
‘You should set up alarms for your scheduled timing of applying the medicine. The winter seasons will make the dryness worse.’
Cole turned the note around to write again.
‘Probably. I'd still forget tho.’
The tapping began once more.
‘I could apply it for you.’
Their conversation ended soon after, Cole going back to look at his sketchbook and Zane to his notes. Of course, after a few more seconds of staring.
He had always wondered what the equivalent of adrenalin for humans would be for a nindroid. Apparently it was for his crush to stop mid erasing a line he wasn't happy with to glance at the blond's hand after he stilled his tapping.
Okay, be cool, don't panic, there's no way he's realizing what Zane's saying- tapping- whatever it was! Maybe he was just- looking at his pen! Yeah, the pen was pretty! Cole always found something pretty in everything! Did he find Zane pretty? Oh he wished he did- Get your gears in order!
“What's up with that?” The raven's voice was hushed as he glanced at his friend, nodding to the pen he held. By the grip he had, it was probably going to end up as pieces on the ground and ink all over Zane's sweater and Cole's pretty hands-
His voice trembled as he sent a look to his hand before meeting green eyes again. “W-what do you mean?”
“The tapping. You've been doing it quite a lot recently. Some motor issue or..?”
Oh thank the Gods!
Once the quick rush of anxiety subsided even a little, a hesitant smile tugged at the nindroid's lips. “Yeah! Yeah a motor issue! Me and Jay have to work it out of course, not that I mind it, I don’t, but if you do-”
“Whoa, buddy, chill!” The hushed giggle given by the master of earth was the beautiful music to Zane's ears. And the fact that he did that? Score a point! “I don't care at all, I've just noticed is all. Plus I can barely hear it over my music.” A thick finger quickly pointed to the headphones still resting on Cole's head, that uneven grin showing his canines. It made White worry he might freeze the seat. Or melt it with how warm he felt. He couldn’t tell if it was from having Cole’s attention on him or from the embarrassment he felt for rambling like an idiot.
He made a mental note to talk to Jay about his stammering issue. Seriously, this was getting sad.
All Zane could muster up was as an answer was a quick nod, not trusting his voice box any longer. The classroom seemed way too quiet for a moment as all the two boys did was look at each other, just a little longer before Cole, slowly, looked back to his sketchbook. Okay was Zane day dreaming or was there really some cliche love song playing while he and the master of earth were staring at each other? And did he imagine it or was Cole more hesitant to break their eye contact? Not to mention the small spark he noticed in those forest greens. Oh he loved it when Cole smiled. He especially loved it when he made Cole smile.
That cute crooked smile, the small dimple on his left cheek, not to mention how his eyes squinted when his grin would reach his ears. It felt like the sun itself was shining warm rays of light right into Zane’s soul. Not to mention how his cheeks looked even softer when he was happy. It only made the master of ice more willing to risk all his dignity and to cradle his face.
His chin rested in his hand, elbow against the desk as all the nindroid could do was admire the boy beside him. Although ever since he realized his feelings Cole was more of a divine being than human in his eyes. He was something to be worshipped and followed, just like how the ancient people would devote themselves and their whole life to their gods. He turned his pen around once more.
‘I would follow you to the end of time if it means I'm by your side.’
“Dude what the fuck is it with all these people?” Kai’s voice was clearly strained with happiness as he had to avoid yet another person from tackling him down.
“Language, Kai,” Zane’s voice was heard from behind Cole’s back, the broad build of his friend somewhat providing more space with people needing to walk around him.
The team had just finished their 5th period and the school had gone into complete disarray, yelling and laughter echoing in the hall. Meanwhile students would have literally almost no space between them as they flooded the school corridors leading to the gymnasium.
“If i remember correctly, today was the opening for the school club sign ups.” The nindroid had to pull his bag closer to him so he wasn’t dragged down the hall. Again.
“All this madness for school clubs?- Watch it! ” Nya’s voice finally was heard, of course, just a little before shoving some guy, from the looks of which, had shoved into her. “Oh, if only my bike was here…” Her words were muttered under her nose but the tone was threatening enough for some students to make a bigger path before her.
“The school administration had announced that whoever attends the signups, or joins a club, would be let go of their remaining classes. A way of persuading more people to join, though from my calculations only 19 to 36% of the student body would actually attend the club meetings.”
“So “say you'll join a club and get home 2 hours early”?” Cole turned to look over his shoulder at Zane, the blond nodding.
“In summary, yes. They also promised free drinks!”
At one point in the hallway the group found Lloyd, staying pressed against the wall, just staring as 90% of the school had flooded the corridor like a tsunami. Thankfully, just as he noticed the rest of the ninja, there was a small gap made in the crowd, which was perfect for Kai to tug the dirty blond into their line.
This really felt crazy. Not to mention how suffocating it felt. To Zane at least. He could already start analyzing how much time he had left before the rest of the hallway would be comfortably empty. Or before he became claustrophobic. He hated tight spaces. And crowds. Especially loud ones that shoved into you.
Holding his bag’s strap, the bag itself laying on the front of his thigh instead on the side given it was tugged back more than once, he did his best to keep up with the rest. Even being the tallest in the group, it felt like he couldn’t see the end of the horde they were walking through. He knew the layout of the school was flawed and this just confirmed it. Who made only one of the hallways connected to the gymnasium? Seriously this was insane! And since when were there this many students in this school?
After needing to pick up the pace once more, being pushed a foot back by a passing student, he seemed to have caught Cole’s attention. What gave it away? The fact that when Zane made his way to the same distance he was from the master of earth, he noticed one of Cole’s hands was extended backwards, flexing his fingers as an invite to hold onto his hand.
“You can also hold onto my bag instead if it’s more comfortable for you.” The reassurance from Cole was sweet, giving the ice elemental another option with the same function nonetheless. Zane stared at the extended hand..
Sure he was never good at physical contact, it was quite overwhelming for him at times, especially if it was for a long period of time.
But… This was Cole. And Cole was offering Zane his hand, to keep him from getting pushed back further. The reason why he was offering it wasn’t important, what was important though, was that Zane was given this lovely opportunity by Cole himself! His circuits felt hotter as pale hand took hold of a colloused one.
He tried to keep his cool, he really did guys, but how could he not smile like a giddy idiot when he felt Cole’s fingers flex, giving his hand a firm squeeze, the warmth making his heart flutter. He was more thankful than ever that his body temperature was way below the average due to his powers and.. being a nindroid, and for the beautiful decision his father and creator made when building him to overlook the sweating function. By now Zane would’ve needed to let go of the embrace at least twenty times to dry his own hand from how excited and nervous he felt.
His whole focus was on longer on the raven’s back, as attractive as it was, but on their conjoined hands, admiring the way their skin tones complimented each other. Not to mention the difference in the anatomy. While Zane had longer slim fingers, Cole’s were more a bit thicker, skin rough but oh so perfect. Ice couldn’t help himself as his thumb softly tapped against Earth’s knuckles.
‘Will you also look at me with the same warmth with which you hold me?’
As much as he hoped to never have the feeling leave, soon enough the corridor became less crowded. Once the group had at last made it to an empty hallway, the echoing from the crowd muffled, everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
“I feel like I've returned from war.” Jay’s voice was strained as he let his bag fall from his shoulder to the floor, joining it as he laid down on his back.
“We should really talk to the principal about the layout of the school and for organizing such unplanned through events. This is not safe whatsoever. The chances of a crowd surge happening are uncomfortably high.” With his bag finally resting at the hip, Zane did his best not to think about the weight of Cole’s hand still wrapped around his.
“Yeah, no shit!” Nya seemed out of breath as she leaned against one of the lockers. “I haven’t been this out of breath since Wu made us do pilates!”
“Don’t.. Remind me of that.” Lloyd huffed, his hair ruffled up a little.
“Well,” Cole spoke for the first time since offering Zane his hand. “If the whole school is in the gymnasium there’s no way the next classes will be held, right? I saw my whole Music class in the crowd.”
“I suppose there is a possibility for the classes to be dismissed. With such a low number of students attending, the majority of teachers would probably be willing to let us go.”
“So…” Kai at last joined the conversation ”Chen’s?” His suggestion was quite enticing as the team glanced towards the brunette, who in return had his gaze skipping between his friends.
Soon enough, Cole shrugged. “No need to ask me twice.”
“Sounds good.. Just let me lay down a little longer.” Jay called, his hand resting over his face, still laying on the cold tile floor.
“That is extremely unhygienic, Jay.”
“Bluejay c’mon, get off the floor…” Kai, who by now was kneeling besides his boyfriend, tried coaxing him into standing up. Blue just let out an over exaggerated whine at that. “I’ll buy you Taiyaki..” Red’s voice was dragged out, tone persuasive and quiet as he tucked a few brown curls behind Jay’s ear. Said ninja, in return, moved his hand just a little so one of his eyes was visible between his arm and his hair at the mention of his favorite dessert.
“2 Taiyakis?”
“And a hot chocolate.”
And with that, Jay was off the floor. Funny how he was so easily bribed, when he always spoke otherwise.
As the group started their way towards the exit of the school, Nya and Kai bickering about how the brunette was about to afford the bribery he promised Jay, Zane couldn’t help but focus on the warmth of Cole’s hand still being present. Of course, he’d shoot a few glances to where the contact was made. Then he’d shoot a glance to the master of earth, who was half listening to the Smiths’ banter, half to his music. His free hand was resting in his pocket, from the small noise probably playing with his keys like he usually did.
Slowly, pale eyes looked up to admire the boy’s side profile.
He had always found his crooked nose sweet. It was a funny connection that both his nose and his smile were curved, by some considered imperfect, but Zane couldn’t help but stare and never want to look away. How could someone so heavenly be considered unattractive? Sure, this may just be because of Zane’s crush and, of course, people had their own preference, but still this may never be one of the things he’ll understand.
‘You look divine.’
The blond hadn’t even realized he had tapped this out on the back of Cole’s hand until the raven looked down where the contact was felt, and then to Zane.
“Oh! Shit, sorry.” What? No,no,no,no! Cole’s voice was relaxed as always, slightly apologetic as he slowly placed his hand out of Zane’s hold, probably thinking the nindroid was growing uncomfortable from the contact continuing for so long. Which was absolutely not the case! He hadn’t even meant to tap that out! Why did he tap it out! Sure this wasn’t going to last long, Cole was bound to notice their hands were still locked together at some point but it wouldn’t have been for at least a few more minutes!
Looking down at his empty hand, Zane shook his head softly.
“It’s alright.” The lie stung on his tongue, the desire to have the courage needed to say what he actually meant heavy in his stomach as the made their way to Chen’s.