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It wasn’t often Nina and Kaz were home alone. For Nina’s part, she was truly happy to have a day that wasn’t spent on some business dealing within the Crow Club, acting in her usual role of intermediary on a job that could take a nasty turn at the slightest provocation. She was enjoying the reprieve. Kaz, however, was not.
He’d slunk into the house in a mood. Nina did no more than offer a greeting. The reason for his early return was soon apparent, though he did not admit it. The dark circles under his eyes and his more pronounced gait betrayed him. That, and the way he actually laid on the sofa, swinging his legs up across from him. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
Nina flopped on the sofa by his legs. ‘’You look well,’’ she commented.
‘’Thank you,’’ was the dry reply.
‘’What’s wrong?’’
‘’I’m fine.’’
‘’Clearly.’’
Kaz gave a carless gesture to his leg. ‘’It just hurts.’’
‘’Did you do something to aggravate it?’’
‘’Yes. I walk on it.’’
‘’I was thinking more along the lines of overdoing it, such as when you beat up Hadel of the Dime Lion’s.’’
‘’Hadel had it coming.’’
‘’But your leg did not.’’
Kaz gave a grunt of annoyance. He shifted his legs on the couch. Giving their positioning, they were closer to Nina, touching her arm. She took that as a safe sign to place her hand on his knee. ‘’Wait, are you wearing the brace?’’
‘’Don’t sound so surprised,’’ Kaz muttered.
‘’It hasn’t helped?’’
‘’It helps a little. Now it feels too tight.’’
‘’May I?’’ Nina waited, fingers on the hem of his pant legs, for permission.
Kaz nodded, his head leaning against the couch cushions. ‘’Please.’’
Nina ducked her head, bent on her task. She didn’t blush easily. But these moments where Kaz so readily accepted the simplest of help, especially when in pain and therefore more likely sensitive to touch— it reminded her of how far they’d come. There was a time that her mere offer would’ve caused Kaz to freeze and consider in silence for several moments before declining. And that was after the stage of downright hostile refusal.
Nina gently and swiftly tugged his pant leg up. There was the brace, wrapped around his knee. It was similar to a compression glove, meant to help relive the pain in his knee and support him throughout the day. Though on the days where Kaz was on his feet for hours on end, it was no surprise that the swelling would cause the brace to feel tighter than was helpful.
Using her fingers to pry the velcro apart, Nina carefully undid the brace. She placed it on the back of the couch. With only the thought of how her own body would feel once a pressure was removed, her fingers immediately went to massaging the knee. A few seconds went by before she realized what she’d done.
A few more went by before she realized Kaz had relaxed under her hands.
‘’Feel good?’’ Nina asked, wondering if she should apologize for the unasked touch.
‘’Hmm.’’ Kaz nodded. His eyes were closed in the little bit of relief the removal of the the brace and her fingers had offered.
‘’Should I keep going?’’
Kaz met her gaze at that. The way he was resting his head on the couch cushions, his arms were obscuring half his face. There was something in his gaze that made Nina wonder if he were also reflecting on how far they’d come just as she had been a moment prior. ‘’If you could.’’
So polite. God, that was cute of him.
Nina used both her hands on his knee. One underneath, supporting it's bent positioning, the other on top, massaging the sore joint. She was gentle, moving slowly over the skin, putting more pressure and going deeper the longer she worked. She could feel the irregutlatires of the knee in her fingertips, that old injury and how it healed wrong.
She could also feel Kaz tense and relax, his leg sometimes flexing closer to her in relief. He was bitting his lip, face tense. The exhaustion on his face was clear to see.
‘’Make you a deal?’’ Nina asked. He raised an eyebrow at her phrasing; it had become a common enough tease between them all and him. ‘’You take your meds, we go upstairs to my room, and I finish massaging your leg with some cream I have.’’
‘’Doesn’t sound like a deal,’’ Kaz refuted. ‘’It’s very one sided.’’
‘’Getting some rest and not being in pain for a while not a good enough incentive for you?’’
‘’I meant on your end.’’
‘’Oh.’’ Nina thought a moment. ‘’My incentive is not seeing you in pain. How’s that?’’
‘’Lackluster. I should teach you better bargaining skills.’’
‘’How’s this for a bargain, Mr. Brekker? You take me up on my offer, and tomorrow you come home with those little cookies from that bakery on the West Side.’’
‘’The one we can’t take Inej to anymore because of her caffeine addiction?’’
‘’Exactly.’’
‘’You know Jesper’s just going to eat them all.’’
‘’That’s why you come home with enough for everyone, plus my own secret stash.’’
‘’I had no idea you were so bad at sharing.’’
‘’That you did teach me.’’
Kaz smiled. Not that scheming smile, the ones his enemies feared. The smile that only Nina and the other four inhabitants of this house ever saw. ‘’Deal.’’
Nina leaned forward and sealed the deal with a kiss.
……
They went upstairs. Kaz left his jacket and shoes on the lower floor, only his button-down shirt and slacks remaining of his usual suit ensemble. Nina knew better than to push and ask if he wanted to change; if he wanted to, he would. ‘’Here you go.’’
She handed him the pills and a glass of water. He took them and drank, emptying the glass. Another time she would scold him about remembering to hydrate throughout the day.
Kaz leaned back on the bed then, swinging his legs up. She sat at his feet, much like she did downstairs. She pulled up his trouser pant leg to his thigh. Before touching his leg, she coated her hands in the massage cream.
A few moments after resuming her careful circles of pressure, she heard Kaz’s soft exhales of relief. ‘’What is that?’’ he asked.
‘’Arnica,’’ Nina replied. ‘’It’s a plant. It’s good for swelling, joint pain. Does it feel good?’’
‘’Feels… cool.’’
‘’And is that good?’’
Kaz nodded. ‘’Yeah it's… it’s good.’’
‘’Good.’’ Nina switched from her fingertips to using the bottom half of her hand. ‘’You said it feels cool. Did your leg feel hot before? Like inside?’’
She’d kept her room dim, so it took her a moment to notice Kaz shaking his head. ‘’Kaz?’’
‘’Hmm?’’
‘’Can you talk for me?’’
He licked his lips, trying to respond. ‘’No, it wasn't hot. It felt like it always does.’’
That wasn’t comforting to Nina. She wasn’t a healer, but she knew enough to know that when an isolated body part continuously felt warm, it could be an indicator of poor blood flow or nerve damage. Neither were things she wanted to see any of her loves go through.
But trying to get Kaz to expand on that feeling would be pointless just now. The meds she’d made him take were ones that were supposed to be taken ‘as needed’, which in the language of Kaz Brekker meant ‘close to never’. They were pain reducers, with the uncanny side effect to make her nocturnal insomniac lover and leader drowsy. This, combined with his usual tendency to lapse into silence in moments of prolonged intimacy, made very probable conditions in which he might actually fall asleep.
Hey, a girl could hope.
Nina continued applying varying amounts of pressure on Kaz’s knee. She could feel the muscles give way to her, undoing their vice grip. Her hands worked their way down the leg, loosening his calf muscles. She knew how sometimes the way he walked to compensate for his knee contributed to the cramps that settled there.
It was only when her hands were dry that she ceased, the cream she’d put on all absorbed by his skin. She better adjusted Kaz’s pant leg, leaving it folded up on his leg so as to expose the skin to the air. It wouldn’t help much, but perhaps it would help him feel more comfortable.
He was completely still upon the bed. No more tenseness in his body and face, trying to hide it so she wouldn’t see. Nina took a gamble and leaned forward, unbuttoning his already untucked shirt.
She kept working even as he opened his eyes at her light touch. ‘’Take your arms out,’’ she instructed softly.
Sleepily, Kaz obeyed. He even shifted enough for her to tug the shirt out from under him. ‘’There,’’ Nina said in satisfaction. He’d be more comfortable in his t-shirt. ‘’Go back to sleep.’’
She stood. She balled up the shirt and tossed it into her hamper across the room. It missed, of course. Before she could walk towards it, Kaz grabbed her hand. In that leader way unique only to him, his tug ordered her back on the bed. Nina yielded to it. ‘’What is it?’’
His silence was expected. What wasn’t expected was the way he brought her hand to his lips and carefully, almost reverently, kissed every fingertip.
The Bastard of the Barrel wasn’t much for words, not even to those who loved him most. But he always found ways to express himself.
Nina let herself revel in every touch, knowing it was much more than that. Then she slid her other hand through his hair, leaning close to him one last time. ‘’Get some sleep, Kazi,’’ she whispered before kissing his lips.
For once, her fearless leader obeyed.