Chapter Text
September
GlitterGRRRLs
if bill was red all the time, he’d look even more like a dorito
Ambitextrous
You’re right. And if he had a mottled pattern . . . Wow, he’d be so lame!
Darth Vader ⚔️
He IS lame
Lee
Lame nacho!
Nate
Lame mottled dorito LOL
Thompson
Hey, I want to be in on the nacho conversation! Uh . . . you’re a nacho, Bill! Every time someone eats one, you die again!
bigsister
thompson! thompson! thompson!
AnxiousAnomaly
Mabel, did you just make a server with everyone in it except Blubs, Durland, and the mayor so that you could post that one sentence?????
GlitterGRRRLs
Ur just made u didn’t think 2 do it first lol
GlitterGRRRLs
Pacifica’s parents aren’t in it either ❤️
GlitterGRRRLs
Now we can talk about our traumas 💔and make fun of bill 🤩to get over them!
Mr. Mystery Jr.
It’s like a townwide therapy group chat, dudes!
bigsister
love it, mabes
The Original Mystery
What is this? Why am I here?
The Original Anomaly
I’d quite like to know that myself
GlitterGRRRLs
That’ll be the Grunkles! Grunkles, I made you accounts (even you Grunkle Ford!!!!!) so that way you can be here too! This server is a direct violation of the Never Mind All That Act–it’s the We Really Minded All That Act!!!!
The Original Mystery
Breakng rules. Im so proud of you, pumpkin
The Original Anomaly
Not where anyone can see, Stanley!
bigsister
haha no one’s gonna say anything cuz no one saw anything
Shandra Jiminez, Real Reporter
Local hero Stanley Pines is on the We Really Minded All That server and has said absolutely nothing incriminating whatsoever.
Toby Determined, Ambiguously Real Reporter
The only incriminating thing is how beautiful you are, Shandra!
The Original Mystery
Leave your horrible love life out of this, Toby!
GlitterGRRRLs
Don’t project your horrible love life onto him, Grunkle Stan :( can you see my frowny face? CAN YOU SEE IT?????
Shandra Jiminez, Real Reporter
I may be willing to give you a chance at reporting, but a chance at my affections will be harder to get. Don’t make me file a restraining order.
AnxiousAnomaly
Well, that took a turn.
GlitterGRRRLs
It’s so romantic!
AnxiousAnomaly
It’s gross.
Plz don’t eat me!
The most thrilling love story of our time–the beautiful longtime reporter and the reporter who used to be a laughingstock but was recently recognized for no particular reason but we all agree he is slightly less of a loser now!
FUTURE VAN FUNDHAUSER
NO CANDY, I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT I HAD THE MOST THRILLING LOVE STORY!
GlitterGRRRLs
Don’t fight, girls!
bigsister
Toby determined continues to be the punching bag of the town, more at 11
Jeff
Mabel, come be our queen and you can have the most thrilling love story!
AnxiousAnomaly
Who let the gnomes on here?
GlitterGRRRLs
Mb, give me a minute
Heiress Overdeath
I read that as “who let the ghosts on here” and was confused for a second since, like, ghosts can’t write
AnxiousAnomaly
They can make blood pour out of taxidermied animal eyes, though.
The Original Mystery
Is there something you kids haven’t told me about gnomes and ghosts?
AnxiousAnomaly
The gnomes happened when you were still trying to GASLIGHT ME into thinking that Gravity Falls WASN’T WEIRD
AnxiousAnomaly
However, the ghost happened after the zombies (just before the portal) so I theoretically COULD HAVE told you about it.
AnxiousAnomaly
I did not.
The Original Mystery
Yeah, I got that kid
The Original Anomaly
Stanley, you missed a comma. It has changed the meaning of your sentence from “I got that” with the final word, “kid”, addressing Dipper, to “I got that kid”, as in “there is a kid that I got”
The Original Mystery
Bla bla grammar nerd
Darth Vader ⚔️
Oh no, is the grammar nerd going to strike again?
The Original Anomaly
I assure you, I will only correct my brother’s grammar in appropriate contexts. I have learned my lesson.
The Original Mystery
The only appropriate contexts for you to correct my grammar is NADA!
GlitterGRRRLs
Took care of the gnome problem! Helloooo Pacifica!
Heiress Overdeath
Hi, Mabel
AnxiousAnomaly
Thank you for confirming that was Pacifica, Mabel, because I was pretty sure Heiress Overdeath was but there was a chance that I wasn’t, and if I asked I didn’t know if Pacifica would be offended that I didn’t just know and offending Pacifica is fun usually but what if this time it actually hurt her feelings but annoying her is fun and this is an endless circle IT NEVER ENDS but Pacifica can deal with it she was so rude to Mabel but she’s different now and kinda cool and
AnxiousAnomaly
I just sent that to everyone, didn’t I?
GlitterGRRRLs
You’re overthinking, bro. Kinda like with Wendy
GlitterGRRRLs
Wait
AnxiousAnomaly
Like EVERYONE everyone
GlitterGRRRLs
You . . .
AnxiousAnomaly
There’s only like five people who aren’t on here!
GlitterGRRRLs
And PACIFICA . . .
AnxiousAnomaly
MABEL NO
GlitterGRRRLs
MABEL YES
Heiress Overdeath
Why am I here
bigsister
join the cool kids ;)
The Original Anomaly
I am unsure what just happened
The Original Mystery
Eh, who cares? Just watch the chaos unfold. Kids will be kids or whatever they say these days
GlitterGRRRLs
Doritos will be eaten 🍴
Thompson
Take that, nacho?
bigsister
die again 😡
The Original Mystery
Stupid geometry can know exactly what I think of him: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
AnxiousAnomaly
Wow, Grunkle Stan figured out how to use emojis.
The Original Mystery
I’m coming for you kid
AnxiousAnomaly
We’re not even in the same STATE.
The Original Mystery
I’ll break the traffic laws and get there in no time
The Original Anomaly
Stanley, stop speaking of your crimes where everyone can see
The Original Mystery
They can’t prove anything
Heiress Overdeath
Mabel, your brother is ghosting me
GlitterGRRRLs
DIP YOU BETTER NOT BE GHOSTING YOUR 😏FRIEND 😏
Anxious Anomaly
I didn’t know how to respond!
Heiress Overdeath
Couldn’t you at least, like, react to the message instead of leaving me on read??
Anxious Anomaly
What do you mean?
Heiress Overdeath
If you hold down the message, it’ll give you options to respond with like exclamation points and question marks. How do you not know this?
AnxiousAnomaly
Mabel is the only person I text!!!
AnxiousAnomaly
Found it. You happy now?
Heiress Overdeath
Yes, actually
GlitterGRRRLs
Is it cannibalism if you’re eating a triangle?
Heiress Overdeath
Why is this where your mind goes
The Original Mystery
Cannibals were onto something. We taste delicious
The Original Anomaly
I can assure you, we do not
bigsister
why’d you say that like you know what people taste like?
The Original Anomaly
I’d rather not talk about it
Plz don’t eat me!
Would he taste like a nacho?
AnxiousAnomaly
Please spare me from this.
Heiress Overdeath
Let’s go somewhere where this ISN’T happening
AnxiousAnomaly
Agreed.
Darth Vader ⚔️
Bet he’d taste like one of those super spicy flavors
Nate
Yeah, the ones you shovel down because it’s “edgy”
Darth Vader ⚔️
I’ve never done that
Ambitextrous
I love you but you have definitely done that, Robbie
Lee
Can confirm
bigsister
we’ve all seen it
FUTURE VAN FUNDHAUSER
WHEN HE WAS ALL MAD AND RED I BET HE WOULD TASTE SPICY
FUTURE VAN FUNDHAUSER
He might taste like a potato chip when he looks normal though
GlitterGRRRLs
Perhaps 🤔
Nate
What if he tasted like lemon jello cake
Lee
Dude, don’t ruin cake for me!
Darth Vader ⚔️
We’re already ruining spicy stuff and chips 🙄
Ambitextrous
Bet he tasted like lemons
Mr. Mystery Jr.
Really sour lemons, like his soul
Darth Vader ⚔️
Did he even have a soul
bigsister
nah
FUTURE VAN FUNDHAUSER
WILL ANYONE ANSWER THE ORIGINAL QUESTION??
Ambitextrous
It would only be cannibalism if we were triangles
The Original Anomaly
Ambitextrous is correct. We are not the same species as Bill. It would not be cannibalism, but I wouldn’t recommend it either.
GlitterGRRRLs
*turns bill into a 3 course buffet*
Mr. Mystery Jr.
*eats your buffet*
bigsister
*crushes the nachos*
Plz don’t eat me!
*mixes them up with my forks*
FUTURE VAN FUNDHAUSER
*EATS THE TINY PIECES SO THERE’S NOTHING LEFT OF HIM*
Darth Vader ⚔️
*pours hot sauce on the chips*
Thompson
*eats too fast and gets burned*
Nate
*scoops the pieces up and stomps on them*
Lee
Fun times!
GlitterGRRRLs
*whips up some dessert and sprinkles rainbow sprinkles on it!*
Mr. Mystery Jr.
I’m crying doods it’s beautiful