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“I’m always pushing you away from me /
But you come back with gravity /
And when I call, you come home.”
— I Know The End , Phoebe Bridgers
“Wait…! Mizuki !” Were the last words she heard before she pushed past the rooftop doors, leaving behind Ena, her classmates, and everything else.
Mizuki bolted down the stairs, Ena rushing after her. Though her vision was glassy with tears, she clutched the railing to steady herself. Step after step, breath after breath, the two continued their cat-and-mouse game as Ena chased Mizuki through the hallway. She couldn’t bear to face Ena now.
Not after running so long. Not after she saw the look on Ena’s face. Her eyes. Her eyes told Mizuki everything she needed to know. But Mizuki kept running. Like she always did. What else was there to do except run?
If she’d stop now… If she saw Ena’s eyes…
Her stomach churled.
Yet she persisted anyway.
She passed the corner into the corridor, finding the doors to the courtyard. She barged past them, closing them behind her and hiding behind a wall. Crouching against the wall, she fell to the ground, muddying their skirt on the dirt.
“Mizuki…!” Ena’s voice huffed, muffled through the doors. “W-Where did you— Mizuki…! Please…!”
Mizuki held her breath as if holding back her vomit, shoving her hands against her mouth to shut herself up. She needed to breathe. But if she let even the slightest sound out…
She hicked, tears welling further. She was going to get caught. Ena was going to find her. And… And…
“Mizuki?” Someone called to her, startling the girl so badly she nearly choked. She welded her eyes closed, in fear of seeing their eyes. But, as Ena’s voice faded into the distance, surely, this wasn’t her…?
If so, who…— “Hey, it’s okay… It’s me,” Rui said, sitting next to Mizuki, not caring if he got himself dirty. “You can tell me… Or if not, then I’ll just be here. We don’t need to talk.”
Mizuki nodded weakly, eyes downcast to the pebbles and dirt clinging to her skirt, unable to meet his gaze. “N-No…” She choked a sob back. “I’ll… I’ll tell you…”
And so, she explained the events after they talked in the courtyard—From the festival, to the rooftop, to running away from Ena. Funny how all her problems stemmed from a damn rooftop. Where she ran away from everyone in middle school, where she lied to Ena, where she met…
Rui.
One of the better problems she’s had to deal with.
“I see…” Rui spoke after a few beats of silence. He quickly piped up, balling his hands into fists, burying crescents into his palms. “ Fuck , seriously? If I see any of those—”
“R-Rui…” Mizuki held his shoulder, resulting in a blush covering both their faces—one tear-stained, one in anger. “You don’t have to… The damage is already done.”
Although he calmed, residual distaste remained on his tongue. “It’s not like there’s nothing we can do after…”
Mizuki scoffed. “The past is in the past, Rui… There’s no changing history.”
“But… We changed our past, didn’t we?”
…
Mizuki’s gaze drifted towards his, a hurt expression painting his face. Mizuki spoke. “I… I didn’t mean it like that.”
He sighed, relaxing. “I know you didn’t.” Then the two fell back to silence, huddling ever so closer.
As the orange sky descended into the night, the sun graced its presence before them. Waning orange light reached the ground, blanketing their faces. She saw the light reflect in his eyes—squinted.
The buzz of Mizuki’s phone broke the serenity, pulling the two out of their moment. She pulled it out, only to find Ena calling her number. She declined it and promptly blocked her.
Rui noticed. “You can’t keep—”
“Running?” Mizuki finished his sentence. “I know. I know full well. It’s just…” The tears beckoned from the depths of her throat, threatening to unfurl. “Why not hasten the process? If everyone’s going to leave me anyway, it’s better if I just… get it over with. It… It hurts so much, hoping they’d stay. That things will be different this time around. Waiting. Knowing. And I’m the one who’s always left to stay… Fight everything by myself.” She bit her bottom lip hard, forcing the tears back.
A hollow attempt, it seems. Rui reached for her hand and cradled it in his, and there she went, spilling forth like a faucet. “If people cared enough, they’d come back. Those who truly love you always will. I did. I’m right here. I don’t plan on leaving any time soon.”
Helplessly, she clung to him. She soaked his cardigan’s sleeve in her tears, grasping him as though he were her lifeline… As if he’d depart right then and there. Her fingers clasped around him, memorizing the details before she forgot this feeling again.
“But…” She croaked, words forced through the cries. “This is your last year here… You’re going to leave again…”
Rui wrapped his arm around her shrinking frame, pulling her close. “Then I’ll call. Every day, if that’s what you want. I swear, Mizuki…”
She couldn’t speak. She continued to cry into him, the warm embrace of his arms like a home she hadn’t visited for a long time. Even though this was another fleeting moment, Mizuki wished to stay in it. To live, right here, forever in his embrace.
He ran his hand through her hair as if reassuring a frightened kitten. She settled, the tears retracting briefly, as she looked up at him.
And the only thing in his eyes was melancholic affection.
“People aren’t temporary, Mizuki. They stay in more ways than one. Just don’t let them be reduced to memories…” He whispered. “Nor is your happiness. Sometimes, you have to make an effort to get there—but the good moments exist, even if they are fleeting. There are always more moments to come, and more memories to make.”
“But… She knows, I-I wanted to tell her, but…”
“She’ll understand, surely. Ena means a lot to you, right? And you mean a lot to her. I heard her run after you, Mizuki. Not a lot of people do that.” He giggled, reminiscing how WxS chased after him when he left the troupe. “Those are the people who stay—who return. It’s up to you to show her how much you appreciate her company now.”
His hand traced from her hair to her face, catching her cheek. “You’re beautiful, Mizuki. Anyone who can’t see is blind.”
She pulled away hesitantly, but she slowly fell back into a meek giggle. “Jeez… Don’t get so sappy on me now…”
“Mizuki,” He said, thinking her walls were rising.
“N-No, I’ll… I’ll tell her. Seriously.” She stared at her phone screen, at Ena’s blocked number. “It just… It feels like I’m back in middle school again. As if… time turned back.”
“You’ve escaped that now, Mizuki. We’re not there anymore.”
“…Yeah. You’re… You’re right.” She smiled solemnly. A similar one reflected on Rui’s face. “Thanks for the reality check, I guess.”
“Of course. You can confide in me any time.”
They exchanged one last look before Mizuki returned to her phone screen, finger shakily hovering over the unblock button.
She forced herself to press it and call.
Not a second later, Ena answered, her voice returning and blessing Mizuki’s ears.
“…Mizuki?”
“Yeah… I’m here.”