Chapter Text
Tsukasa, at his tender age of barely eleven years old, was what the adults would call "more aware than the others". He worked things out quite quickly, and thanks to this, he uncovered many truths—some of which were good... the others, not so much.
He realized very early on things such as where babies come from–don't ask about that. It's his parents' fault for leaving him alone with full internet access–or the fact that hiccups did not, in fact, mean he was getting taller. He came to the conclusion that things such as the Easter Rabbit, the Tooth Fairy, the Leprechauns at the end of the rainbow, or Santa Claus belonged in the same category as unicorns, mermaids and such. The category he liked to call "things parents made up to keep their children entertained."
When he discovered Santa wasn't real, he stopped writing letters to him, as he didn't really like the thought of his parents reading the text where he admitted to feeling sort of neglected, since he felt that Santa was someone you could vent to. Not that they ever actually read the letters anyway, because he never got anything he asked for in them. He was sentenced to receive socks and sweaters for Christmas from the moment Saki's diagnosis came in.
Ah, Saki. The ten year-old who was constantly hospitalized due to an illness which Tsukasa had never heard the name of. She was way more innocent than him, believing blindly in anything she was told about magical creatures and flying sleighs powered by magic and being pulled by floating reindeer, whose owner was an old, fat man with a long white beard who wore red and delivered gifts to every single child in the world in the span of less than 24 hours. Because to her, who was tired of spending weeks unable to go home, believing in such magical things brought her some sort of comfort, helping her hold the small hope in her heart that maybe, just maybe, one of these years Santa–or whoever could do so–would grant her her biggest whish; to be fully healthy, so she could spend more time with her brother, playing games, sketching together, playing the piano with him.
Saki truly admired Tsukasa. Everytime he came to visit her at the hospital, her day became instantly better, and any and all tears that may have escaped her eyes would disappear in an instant, being replaced by a sweet, genuine smile. She was under the impression that it was just the effect he had on people, but really, he was just trying his best to be a good big brother and cheer her up.
One very specific day, though, Tsukasa heard soft, muffled sniffles coming from Saki's room. He picked up the pace, walking faster each second, clutching the bouquet in his arm.
Once he peered inside, he spotted her in her hospital bed by the window, her trembling hands desperately trying to get her red, flustered face dry before someone could see her like that.
She didn't hear him approach her.
"Saki...? What happened...?" Tsukasa spoke, confusion mixing with concern in his voice.
"Tsukasa!? You..." hic "You startled me..." She tried to sound as normal as possible, but she couldn't help but let out a few hiccups, her breathing still adjusting to the 'trying to be calm' state.
"Ah, sorry." He moved her hands away from her face, looking at her in the eyes. "Saki, what's wrong? What happened?" He was getting more and more concerned by the second.
Sniff "Santa is real, right...?" She was getting teary-eyed again, her voice quivering with heartbreak.
Tsukasa froze for a second. At the speed of light and sound multiplied by each other, his brain played out the different possible scenarios that could occur depending on his answer.
If he told her he wasn't real, she would cry even harder, possibly not wanting to see him ever again and forever damaging his relationship with the rest of his family, being shunned and most likely forced to move out as soon as he hit seventeen and...
No, he wasn't doing that. Not in a million years. Not for the other family members specifically, but for Saki. He couldn't stand the idea of ending her childish wonder with such ease.
On the other hand, if he told her he was real, she would be momentarily happy, up until she became twelve or thirteen. Then, she would realize everyone had lied to her and be mad as hell. But maybe she would have mercy on him, she'd be angry for a bit and then everything would be okay. And maybe this would become a funny anecdote for the future. Someday, when he's fifty-seven years old and balding, she'd go 'hey, remember when we were kids and you told me Santa was real because I was crying thinking he wasn't? Haha!' and they'd have a laugh about it, and then they'd go back to doing whatever people in their fifties do.
Yeah, the second option was definitely better.
"Of course he is! Who else would eat the cookies and milk you leave him?" He blurts out, knowing damn well their dad is the one eating the cookies.
"It's just... some kid from another room told me he wasn't and I just... I don't know. It felt really bad." She looks down, fidgeting with her fingers.
"I get it. But hey, you can prove them wrong!" 'No, she can't.' "Look, if you keep writing letters to Santa, I'll bet he'll answer!" 'He won't.' "Just put our home address on the envelope and I'll make sure to deliver the letters to you, alright?" 'Damn you, Tsukasa Tenma and your speaking-without-thinking issues.' he thought to himself.
"Really!? Yay! I'll get to writing right away!" Saki's face lights up like a big Christmas tree full of trinkets in a warm house. "You're the best brother ever, Tsukasa!" She hugs him by the neck, catching him off guard, which almost led to his demise by being hug-choked to death.
"Ow, ow" He mumbles, before returning the hug. "It's the least I can do." He smiles warmly. "It'll be okay! This Christmas will be the best you've ever had." He says, more to convince himself than to convince her.
"Even if we have to spend it here?"
"We could be spending Christmas under a bridge and it'd still be amazing. Now, I'll bring you a pencil and paper so you can start writing." He pulls away from the hug, straightening his clothes as he looked around for his school bag.
"I just noticed—you're still in your uniform. Did you come here from school alone?" Saki inquires upon seeing him more clearly.
"Ah, yes... don't worry about that. I know how to get around." He reassures her, taking out a pencil with stars drawn on it from his pencil case, along with one of his notebooks. "Here." He gives them to her as he sits down on the chair beside her bed.
"Thank you!" The younger child excitedly takes the items presented to her. "Now, what should I write to start a conversation?"
"Hm... maybe you could ask him about himself?" 'It's so over.' "Ah, you should ask what his first name is!" 'Huh!?' Now he was in trouble. And who got him there? Himself, of course. How on Earth was he supposed to make up a believable first name for Santa Claus?
"Yes! Exactly!" Saki begins writing carefully, making sure her letter is as readable as possible. Once she's done, she takes out the page, folds it in two and hands it over to Tsukasa. "Done!"
"Good job!" He takes the piece of paper from his sister and smiles. "I have to leave now, it's getting late. Make sure to sleep early, eat all your meals, don't spend too much time watching TV and read some books!" He stands up, putting his things back in his bag and, remembering the flowers he had brought, tells Saki to ask a nurse to put them in water.
"Of course! You go to sleep early too, have fun at school tomorrow!" Her mood had a complete 180º from how it was just about an hour ago. Even if he wasn't sure how to pull off this stunt, he was happy that at least she was feeling better right now.
"Mhm. Bye-bye, Saki."
"Bye-bye!"
As he made his way to the elevator, he let out a sigh.
'How am I gonna do this?'
He had never written a letter impersonating Santa before. To be fair, who the hell had? It wasn't his fault! He saw Saki sad, so he had to do something about it. If anything, it's that one kid's fault. Who do they think they are, crushing his sister's heart like that? Unbelievable.
—☆｡
Well, this wasn't going well. Like, at all.
There were about 24 balls of paper laying on his desk, it was 2 AM on a school night, and he was nowhere near being done with his task.
He had figured a decent idea for a name would be Nicholas, as he's often associated with St. Nicholas... but he couldn't for the life of him get the 'persona' aspect right. He was always either too friendly, too cold, too serious, too 'Tsukasa', or any other personality trait that could be exaggerated. (Yes, Tsukasa is a personality trait. How else would one describe him?)
'Just one more try.'
No, the last one didn't turn out well either. So he gave up and decided to go to sleep.
And... he slept through his alarm. No, his parents didn't bother waking him up (had they even heard the alarm?) and by the time he was conscious, it was already 12 PM. So, if he were to go to school, he wouldn't be there for too long. It was a much better idea to skip classes and keep trying to steal Santa Claus' identity.
Being well rested actually proved to be quite useful, as it took him barely 3 more tries to get the perfect Santa impersonation. He even got it down to the handwriting! His magnum opus, for sure.
He began re-reading the letters, just to make sure they were consistent with each other.
dear santa,
i am w̶r̶y̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ writing this letter b̶e̶c̶o̶z̶ because i want to know you.
Pls tell me y̶u̶o̶r̶ your first name. mine is saki ♡ i am 10 years olds and i am a big fan of you.
Merry c̶r̶i̶s̶m̶a̶s̶ c̶r̶h̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ christmas!!!!!! ♡♡♡✩✩✩✩
Dear Saki,
What a joyous letter you have sent me! I would really like to be your friend!
My first name is Nicholas! Did you expect a fancier name? Ho-ho-ho!
Now, it's my turn to ask you a question: What is your favorite color? Mine is red! Is it obvious? I hope not!
Merry Christmas to you and all of your family members!
Sending hugs,
— Santa Claus
Yeah, it was convincing enough. Now, it's time to hope Saki believes this.
Once the clock hit 7 PM, he gathered his things, put the fake letter in a fancy red envelope he found somewhere in the house, wrote their address on the back, so it would look like it was actually sent to the house, and made his way to the hospital.
Not without buying some snacks for Saki first, though.
After the little detour, he took the subway and went straight to her floor. He could feel his palms sweating from the anxiety this whole situation was causing him.
What if she didn't find it convincing? What if he only made it worse? What if his parents ended up hating him for destroying his sister's childhood? What if–?
Ding!
The elevator rang. He was at the right floor.
Tsukasa walked out, holding the precious envelope between his thumb and index finger, doing his best not to get sweat on it.
He could hear his heartbeat echoing through his chest and up to his brain.
When he made it to Saki's room, she was sitting on her bed, coloring a book their parents had brought her a couple weeks ago.
"Tsukasa! Hi!"