Chapter Text
GoodTimeWithScar dies alone and afraid.
He had no idea of his soulmate’s failed and reckless attempt to lead a group of wardens to the surface. He falls off his horse in the middle of a forest, his ears ringing as he screams. The warden’s screech filled his head echoing deep into his skull causing his ears to bleed and his head to swell.
Scar opens his eyes to a familiar empty void.
Memories begin flooding his mind, years of time melding together in a fog. The figure floating before him was not a mysterious omniscient cloaked shadow. But someone Scar would recognize with every death. Grian’s eyes weren’t the regular shades of green, red, or yellow-instead a bright luminescent purple. His wings, normally clipped by the gods who peered over their lives in the games; were extended wide, larger than normal. A spinning halo was slanted off the top of his head, light radiating around an ethereal form.
It only stares at him sending chills down his spine. Scar was terrified- and maybe… maybe a little bit turned on.
Despite the horrors in front of him, it was still undeniably Grian. He couldn’t help but reach out for him, quickly finding himself in the arms of an eldritch abomination. Grian’s arms held him tight above the invisible ground humming quietly into his hair. It almost felt safe, hovering in Grian’s arms. But there wasn’t the soft beating of his heart. All he could hear was an eerie, cranking ticking resonance from inside his chest.
He pushes away from the embrace, landing firmly back on the ground. “You’re one of them…” Scar breathes in realization looking up at his supposed partner.
Grian Takes Scar’s hand squeezing it gently as he pulls himself down.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that. “The softness of Grian’s voice doesn’t have the regular comfort in his resolution, its foreign and distorted. Scar squeezes his hand back tighter, raising the other to cup his cheek “I trust you Grian, but this- I know it’s probably complicated” He stares down with soft eyes trying to keep the fear off his face, “I’m sorry for ever hurting you...but please, I want to know what’s going on, I promise I’ll try to listen.”
Grian sighs staring through Scar’s chest as a wave of guilt briefly washes over him. “I’m supposed to control everything that happens inside. Like a Gamemaker for them to observe, I’m not one of them perse it’s like, in training would probably be the most accurate phrase “He leans into Scar’s touch wanting to keep him close.
Scar pulls back once more, mind drifting to all the horrors he’d recently endured through these death games.
Grian’s death games.
“Why do you hate me.”
He’d tried to make their relationship work, pining away to fix all his mistakes.
No matter what he did It never seemed to be enough. Scar couldn’t repent for all the grievances and pain he’d caused Grian over their times together.
Grian looks at him brows furrowed tight, his face warping into hurt confusion. He tries to pull Scar close again, but he refuses to budge. “Scar, I could never hate you…”
He thinks back to the desert, long days and cold nights spent entirely in each other’s arms. They’d fall asleep holding each other clinging on for comfort, not knowing they’d have another day to endure. He thinks of all the trauma that existed between them, the secrets, lies and betrayals.
“Grian, do you remember everything? All that’s happened between us in these other lives of ours?”
Just one betrayal after another… Choices that only ever seemed to bring pain on the other… they were supposed to be soulmates but all they ever seemed to do was hurt each other. “I love you, so much my sweet little bird…” he can’t look the other in the eye. Casting away his gaze burning a hole into Grian’s shoulder instead. “I try to be brave, make tough calls, take the leap you find too dangerous to take. But Grian, I’m scared, I want to believe that what I feel between us is real. But with everything we’ve been through… Grian I can’t keep wondering if you feel the same…” he takes a deep breath trying not to cry, holding in the tears that are begging to stream down his face.
“Of course I care about you Scar!” Grian huffs, wings ruffling in frustration as his face turns a deep shade of red. “Do you seriously think I’d have put up with you this long If I didn’t! Everything is just a great big mess right now, and it makes it hard to think clearly!” He’s angry and defensive, clearly upset by Scar’s words of unease. He pulls Scar’s chin back to face him glaring at Scar with an unreadable expression as he mutters.
“ But there’s you… and I- “Grian can’t find the right words to put everything back into place. Too much damage had been done and words exchanged that could never be unsaid “I’ll make it all better.” He pulls Scar into a kiss, it’s all he can think to do.
Deep down he knows the words to say,
the steps he needs to take to make things right between them.
But deep down Grian is a coward, and that is a secret he is most aware.
Scar pulls Grian close to his chest intertwining their fingers resting them over his heart. “I can’t do this again.” He whispers pressing his face against the top of his head “I can’t take another life from you or watch you leave me. I will trust you in every lifetime we spend together, I just wish you could say the same about me.”
Scar knows what’s coming, the inevitable implosion, this is only the calm before the storm. A stolen life, a desecrated grave or a cheap affair. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep playing this game with Grian.
The back and forth was sure to kill him for real one day, each time they try, it always ends in more suffering. Maybe that’s all they could do for one another, drag each other down.
Grian moves to rest his head on Scar’s chest staring through their intertwined fingers into the empty void. He clings tightly to the other man not willing to let him go. There were a hundred different ways this could play out, few where he ended up happy. He wanted to stay in the stillness with Scar, stay in the peace, listen to the quiet of his breathing. He wants to wrap his wings around them both, rocking them back and forth until Scar felt safe. He couldn’t give them what they needed, it would require too much of him to change. “I’ll try…” Its barley a whisper as the words echo into space.
The softest chuckle floats through the air as Scar presses a gentle kiss into Grian’s hair. “Promise me little bird?” Grian releases a sigh of relief rolling his eyes” Of course Scar, I pinky promise.” Scar’s grip loosens, seeming content with the answer for now.“Where are we?” Scar’s voice is tired and hollow “Why is it that all I can see is you?”
“We’re in the void, a place in between it all. This is a respite after the games before we’re all reset to wherever they send us. “Grian shifts in his arms “usually we’d be on our own, but since we’re soulmates this run. Well, I guess they thought we should be together. “Scar could tell Grian was flushing despite trying to hide his face. “What does that mean for the ones who hate each other.” It’s almost a slight. Most likely he’s referring to Scott and Pearl, but the unspoken implication still stings.
“I- don’t know truthfully… I imagine there’s probably someone watching over them, so they don’t hurt each other. “He moves off Scar’s chest keeping a firm hold on his hand and bicep. “It doesn’t have to look like this. If it makes you uncomfortable, I could change it. “ It’s a plea of desperation for his attention and Scar knows it, regardless he gives Grian what he wants. He’s ready to pretend, to follow his every word, to look at the infuriating man in front of him and give him the world.
Another wave of guilt washes over Grian’s face as he lets go and the world begins to shimmer. “How about we go somewhere more fun.”
Scar gasps, eyes going wide. Oh, that pesky bird.
They stood in the middle of a courtyard in a colourful fictionalized town. There were beautiful green fences and pink flowers, the smell of fresh popcorn wafted through the air of shops along the lanes.They were standing in main street, his main street.
The bell of the trolly car dinged in the distance signaling that it was coming right around the bend. Floating green and pink balloons were tied to unattended stands. And there was a trashcan within100 feet in any direction. He looked at Grian with sparkling amazement, all the anger had washed away and he couldn’t help but laugh. It was like Grian had reached into his mind and poured out the hours of time he’d spend dreaming up the world around them.
He had art books full of designs, blueprints and workshops full of projects trying to bring his creation to life one day. Now suddenly he was standing near the grand entrance looking up at a statue reflecting his own face holding his cat. It wasn’t just their surroundings that had changed, they had as well. He wasn’t wearing the same khaki pants and jungle gear, instead he had the green and orange plaid of a tour guide.
The world around them was overwhelming and Scar couldn’t help but bring Grian into a kiss.
When Grian kisses back, there’s an unusual neediness to his touch.
“You are the most incredible thing yknow that birdy.” Scar is giddy and breathless, bouncing on his toes like a kid Christmas “where do we go first?”Grian shakes his head with amusement “I don’t know Scar; this is your park. Just show me around, let me see this beautiful creation of yours.”
“Gladly.” Scar didn’t know if he could smile any wider grabbing Grian’s hand and running off.
Grian’s mind was racing holding tight to Scar’s hand. He needed to relax, stay in control, never give Scar a reason to look at him the way he had ever again. He needed to ease up and enjoy what was in front of him. Scar would grow to understand… he had too.
Mumbo had, though they’d been younger, and it’d taken years of meticulous cultivation. Even still... Grian kept him at a reasonable distance. He didn’t know why he made it difficult for himself to care about people. To let them care about him, it should be so easy. Everything is supposed to fall perfectly in place, perfectly his control. He’s never found the right person who tugs at his insides in just the right way.
No one he’s met ever seemed worth it. He grows bored and avoidant, the walls around him begin to close making him feel trapped. The butterflies that he would initially feel in his stomach die and rot creating nausea when the other is around. Then he would become aggressive and violent. That desire to make the other happy was overtaken by a cruel desire to make them beg for his attention. Get them to be desperate and make Grian feel something again.
Even Scar will disappoint him before the end. The reckless bull of a person that was Scar crashing into a glass house and breaking everything in sight. There were never many butterflies with Scar, their relationship was more of a sworn duty.
Scar was owed a piece of him, and he always would be. In this life, and whatever came after. Grian could never be rid of him as his debt continued to grow with each moment they spent together. He couldn’t doom Scar to the despair of loving him, Scar was far too good for that.
Still, Grian couldn’t bring himself to let go just yet. He’d never felt butterflies, but there was an undeniable tugging in his chest. A desire to conquer, to cage, keep Scar close and never let him go.
He squeezes Scar’s hand tightly signaling a pause of the tour. He needs to silent his thoughts. They keep spinning faster and faster like the teacups beside them. Scar looks at him with apprehension breaking Grian’s heart.
He forcibly swallows his doubts, ‘he had to get through this. He was going through all this trouble to give Scar a good time’. He needed to commit and stay cheery.
Standing on his tip toes, he leans against Scar’s broad shoulders, placing a kiss on his cheek. Scar flushes, eyes crinkling at the corners “What was that for? “he laughs.
“Why not.” Grian shrugs making a point to smile. “You’re just not usually the affectionate G, typically it means somethings wrong. “
Shit, Scar had always been good at reading people. It’s one of the things that made him so dangerous in the games. Grian wasn’t used to that skill being used against him.
“Well, we did just die Scar. Tragically I might add.” Scar immediately buys his deception, a cheeky Grian returning to his face.
“Very true, lots of racing adrenaline and flooding endorphins.” One of Scar’s hands finds its way to Grian’s waist sending tingles up his side. “Good thing we’re at a theme park then, lots of shrills and thrills to distract you with. “Scar turns Grian’s hand over in his own grazing a kiss against his knuckles. “Or we could do something a bit more relaxing instead. “
“I’m not going to sit through ‘Cats Around the World’ with you Scar. “Grian grumbles mind completely made up knowing the torture he would be sitting through. Scar scoffs in offense “How dare you! That ride is a treasure based on the work of Mister Disney himself!”
“Well, it’s a good thing this isn’t Mister Disney’s park then isn’t it. “Grian taunts him “No one will care if I burn it to the ground” Scar continues to blunder at the complaints. “Jellie recorded that song herself y’know!” he yells loudly in its defense.
Grian can’t stop the laughter that escapes him watching Scar become so passionate about a ride that doesn’t exist outside of his imagination yet. “And the dolls are hand painted Grian! Hand painted!”
“All that could be true, you’re still not putting that infestation of a song in my head.” He is not going to ride in that joke of a boat while animatronic cats’ mew at him.
Scar let out a dramatic sigh, his whole body deflating in defeat. “Alright, no ‘Cats around the world’. I have another idea for a ride that’s nice and relaxing. “Scar pulls him out of the lands of wonder and fairy tales and into the expansive land of science fiction.
This place really was incredible, now that he could appreciate it. His thoughts were still swirling, but not as quickly that they’d returned to casual banter.
Scar was rambling all about the little details he’d added and the interactive innovation that was ‘Scar Tours’. Grian rolled his eyes secretly very invested in hearing about the mechanics and architecture of everything around them.
Before long Scar is taking Grian up a platform to load into a futuristic train-like ride car. “What’s this one? “Grian asks, it wasn’t the fanciest of designs. It had a resemblance closer to the carriage of the parking trolleys then a space themed experience.
“Don’t worry, you’ll love it, think of it sorta like a futuristic tunnel of love. “Scar climbs in next to him and Grian’s face turns bright red. “You made a tunnel of love in the theme park dedicated to your cat!? “Grian sputters in bewilderment as Scar chuckles away not so subtly wrapping an arm around Grian’s shoulder.
“It’s a park to explore expansive ideas Grian! Here at Scarland, we embrace all kinds of love. It’s also not a tunnel of love, just reminiscent of one”.
Surely, he knew that didn’t make it any better.
Oh, he absolutely did but watching Grian get all flustered and squirm at any form of public affection was well worth it.
With a click of Grian’s magic the attractions dings moving them slowly down the track. They did a few little loops over SciFi land giving full view of its beautiful landscapes.
Suddenly there’s a chill in the air and Grian shivers.
Grian’s controlling all this, Scar knows that. There’s no reason it should be getting cold in their void space unless the avian had willed it. He takes the hint and pulls Grian closer, letting him nestle into his side.
His arms wrapped around the other he nuzzles his face into Grian’s cheek. “You secretly really like me don’t you “Scar can feel as the other momentarily tenses up at his comment. The ride vehicle turns into a dark tunnel leaving SciFi land behind them.
“Hmmm, I dunno maybe, I’d have to think about it first.” Grian jokes, it might’ve been funny if Scar didn’t notice how uneasy he was.
“Well, think on it all you need, you’re doing all of this for me. “He gestures to the slow moving world around them as their cart travels through different attractions. “I don’t know why you’re doing this silly bird. But this is a really nice gesture. “Gods he misses the desert, he doesn’t remember much of it in all honesty. But he remembers loving Grian, and Grian loving him back. Not caring if anyone else was around or if Scar got too close.
3rd Life? Is that what it was called...? Things were easier between them there. In the next game he’d hoped everything would still be okay. He remembered happily giving Grian one of his lives. Making contracts with the other players for trade and then it goes hazy.
He can easily remember double life. The most recent entry in this messed up cycle he’d been trapped in. They were told this time it’d be different though; this time they wouldn’t be alone. The watchers of their universe had decided to give them soulmates, and they’d given him Grian.
It seemed like a mistake, a dirty trick when he’d found out. Grian certainly hadn’t seemed happy about it. Scar was elated, finally there was a reason for why they always seemed drawn to each other and it was impossible for Grian to deny it.
Or so he’d thought… Ren had tried to warn him… told him to be careful. He’d known that both of their partners were being disloyal. Scar didn’t take it to seriously, it was Ren. Ren was always dramatic and trying to create some bigger story. Why would Scar take his warnings to heart? Grian could have other friends when he went out. Besides, Ren was well known for his close ‘alliances’ with Martyn. So how would he even know if his partner wasn’t dedicated to him when his loyalties already lay elsewhere.
Of course, Ren had been right. Grian would sneak out at night and meet up with BigB thinking Scar was none the wiser. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t Scar who killed him in the end.
He didn’t want to think about this right now. For whatever reason Grian was here with him, weather he bought the story about soulmates being together or not. Grian was here with him, and he was doing a lot to try and make him happy.
Grian smiles at him shifting, wrapping a wing around them both. “I’m glad you’re having a good time Scar. “He says quietly.
“But are you? It wouldn’t be fair if I’m the only one.” Scar asks anxiously, heart squeezing tight in his chest.
Conveniently they enter a dark empty tunnel Scar never would have designed. Grian doesn’t answer. Scar has no time to think about it before Grian grabs his collar pulling him into another kiss.
It’s surprising, but he’s not going to complain when he could be kissing him back. The ride was almost over. It wasn’t designed as an actual tunnel of love, just a dark place to cool down.
They didn’t have enough time to escalate into anything bannable or risky before the ride was over. Just enough to fluster each other into being quiet and stop asking questions.
Scar’s stomach grumbles when they exit the ‘People Mover’ “Man, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse, what about you G?”
Grian stares at him in shock “We are literally beyond all of existence Scar how are you even managing that”
“I’m a big boy Grian! I can’t help it!” Grian shakes his head with a laugh “Fine, I’m sure we can find something to eat in this big park of yours.”
“Oh absolutely!” Scar does a little spin holding out his hand“I know of an a-mazing pizza place.” Grian smiles, of course, “Lead the way oh gracious founder.”
They make their way back to the front of the park as the sun sets behind them. There’s no way the sunset is possible without Grian’s intent. Scar wonders if it’s being done purposefully. Watching the sunset was always his favorite time of day.
It was a nice thought to have. He’s taking them to a semi-fancy restaurant between the town hall and the big theatre on ‘Main Street’.
Hopefully it wouldn’t be too stuffy inside, they could both use the air. “I hope they have garlic bread” Scar says grinning widely opening the door for the other.
“They have anything and everything you want Scar” Grian rolls his eyes giving Scar another quick kiss with a cheeky grin. Scar smiles taking the pesky bird to a booth with a single lit candle “So how does this all work then? If we have no servers?”
Grian raises his hand over the table waving it in a circular motion and a plate of freshly baked garlic bread appeared in front of them. “What kind of pizza do you want?” Grian was enjoying showing off his ability to summon food Scar could marvel at.
“You can never go wrong with cheese” Scar suggests and Grian happily obliges “absolutely not!” The cheese was still bubbling, hot air pockets breathing steam out the crusts. Scar can’t keep the glee from his face at the magic show of deliciousness!
~~~
Scar had just finished downing three large slices of pizza and half a loaf of garlic bread when a concerning thought popped into his head. “Hey G, I’ve had an amazing time today and I hope a part of me never forgets it” he starts his questions carefully “but how did you know about all of this? I haven’t told anyone about Scarland before, it’s just a dream I’ve had since I was a little kid.”
Grian wipes his face with his napkin and nods “I can see in your dreams when in places like this, I embellished a bit but.” He gestures nonsensically in his explanation.
“All of my dreams…?” Scar flushes and Grian sputters quickly growing pink as well “Well not all of them! I try not to pry.”
Scar’s blush continued to grow as he began to think of some of his less family-friendly dreams regarding the bird. “I don’t know how I feel about you sorting through my thoughts and dreams. Those are just, kinda private y’know?” He looks down at his hands not wanting to look at Grian’s eerie purple eyes.
The table grows quiet.
Everything feels slightly off, he liked that Grian was paying so much attention to him; but that was just it, everything seemed to be about him. “Can we do something you wanna do now? We’ve been doing a lot of me stuff today, you should have fun too.” He just wants to feel normal; he wants them to feel normal, to be open with one another.
“I just want to spend time with you. I want to watch all your amazing ideas come to life, and this way. I can see them first, completely unaltered to how someone else might misinterpret your vision.” Grian tries to reach for Scar’s hand across the table to reassure him.
Scar takes a deep breath pulling away, he knows Grian is avoiding things again, but he doesn’t have the energy for another confrontation. “I need to use the restroom; I’ll be right back.” Grian nods in a direction creating a functional bathroom for Scar to use.
He averts his gaze from Scar’s mind allowing the other privacy. He doesn’t need to read his mind to know Scar doesn’t have to use the bathroom.
It's difficult to divert his focus in this state of existence, but not impossible. He ventures around the space of the other players, looking for something to bide his time while he waits for Scar’s return.
His mind wanders to a cold place, with gnashing teeth and howling wolves. The domain of the Scarlet Pearl sent shivers over the watcher’s being. Scott didn’t belong here, the only space left in her world was for her true soulmate Tilly. Her faithful companion through the darkest parts of the game.
Wherever the blue elf had found himself, Grian hoped it was a better place than this. Pearl’s domain was wrought with anger and abandonment; swarming winds echoed her vengeful screams. He hoped the weight of her agony alone would be enough to satisfy their wrathful gods.
Grian wondered if he could save her, reach out and free her mind. Pearl had always been good to him in the past, if only he could repay her with kindness. He knew how the isolation of the void could drive you mad, and she’d already been halfway there when she won.
He’d have his work cut out for him rewriting her memories, she’d had such a rough go at it this season. And he’d done little to prevent it.
This was normal for him; he always found a way to hurt his closest friends. His absence of care would always be their unraveling’s.
He was plunged back into his own temporary sense of reality by Scar’s hand placed on his shoulder. He blinked rapidly, gathering his bearings once more before listening to what his partner was trying to say. “What about a horse? “He shakes his head mind hazy from his little adventure into the scarlet winter.
Scar is smiling again, everything is okay “don’t worry about that. Hey, I know this is the void and all, but-” Scar lets out a big yawn “do you think there’s somewhere we could lay down? I just need to give my mind a rest for a few minutes.” Grian stands taking Scar’s hand to lead him out of the restaurant for one more surprise.
“I hope this isn’t to traumatizing of an idea, but I have a suggestion for a resort you could open.” Scarland glimmers one more time before disappearing into the haze of an all too familiar oasis.
Grian didn’t need to go digging for this creation, it was more solid than the other builds he’d conjured. It was only a replica, but it was still their home. The castle they’d built with their own two hands stood tall and impossibly undamaged before them.
Scar stays silent staring peacefully at their old home. He had too many memories here, both good and bad melding together. “It feels weird to miss it here.” Grian walks over to Pizza’s grave resting a hand on the makeshift gravestone.
“A little yeah,” Scar follows him to pay his respects to their long-fallen pet. He’d died not to far from here, his body left out to rot in the sun as Grian walked away the victor. This place had been where they’d found each other, seeking comfort in an unfamiliar environment. But this was also where they had both died alone, hating one another for choices they didn’t understand.
He'd let Grian win back then, or at least he thought he did. It felt like the only way to repay him for all he’d done to keep Scar safe. They’d hurt each other back then in ways he was still figuring out. He’d felt he did the right thing back then, letting Grian win. Now he wonders if he let him win at all.
Grian knew how to play dirty and get what he wanted. It wasn’t beneath him to trick people into getting his way. Scar knew his way around a good con, but Grian was a force beyond his comprehension. An eldritch being with the ability to reach into his mind and create nightmares, the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen.
Many moons ago they’d shared this house, this land and a llama. Scar had given his life to the creature that kept it in the first place. His sacrifice was nothing more than a piece of entertainment for his gods to devour.
Despite this he can’t stay angry at his captor, he’d seen what Grian was capable of and still wanted to hold his hand. It didn’t matter if Grian fully comprehended what their time together meant or not. He was willing to avoid Scar enough to give him a fairytale.
That meant something, he just didn’t know what. “We should sleep.” He finally says tugging Grian away from the grave and towards the house. The avian stops to kiss his cheek before entering the door. It would be cold soon in the desert, and their bed had always been too small to keep them warm.
Scar allows Grian to get comfortable before crawling into their bed. He’s pleasantly surprised when Grian immediately rolls on top of him, wrapping his wings around them. “Hello handsome,” Grian kisses the top of his nose sliding down to rest his head on Scar’s chest. A familiar warmth washes over Scar holding Grian in his arms once more.
“Hey Birdy” he runs a hand through the loose curls on his head already feeling the lull of sleep overcoming him. “I had a lot of fun today…” he yawned placing a kiss to the Avian’s head before properly passing out.
Grian shifts restlessly in his arms, rolling over to press his head against Scar’s. He doesn’t want Scar to fear him, he doesn't want him to remember today. Their time in the void was supposed to help decompress, to ease the players’ mind from the games. He had to fix Scar’s memories, take away his pain. None of this was supposed to be happening, he’d tried to keep too much. Once he began, he could pretend he was in his base on Hermitcraft. The sound of Scar’s gentle snores would fade into the noise of his observatory.
He didn’t need to go through everything conscience, the world was already becoming too overwhelming as he slipped back into his player brain.