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The lunchroom boomed loudly as teachers failed to quiet the students. Choruses of lunch trays slamming into the ground as football players in letterman jackets shouted slurs at perceived nerds. The most typical day at Westerberg.
“Hmm.” Heather Chandler watched them from her table while McNamara and Duke argued about what corn nut flavor was better. Veronica didn't dare get between that conversation.
“What would be the best way to publicly humiliate Kurt and Ram?” Chandler mutters to herself, thinking out loud and leaning back in her chair.
Veronica glanced over, a look of apprehension and interest crossing her face. “And what have they done to evoke the mighty Heather Chandler's rage?”
“Ram hit me with a football during gym.”
“And Kurt?”
“It's a package deal.”
Veronica pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. “Well, remind me never to befriend Ram.” She mutters as she wipes her mouth with a napkin. “Not that I was planning on it.”
“They'll do anything if they think it'll turn a woman on.” Heather Duke chimed in with an eye roll, seemingly ignoring McNamara. “You could make them do something embarrassing.”
The sound of another tray clanging against the ground caught Chandler's attention. She watched as a small nerdy boy looked up at Kurt, mayonnaise now covering his pants. “What's wrong? I thought you fags loved being covered in that white shit!”
“That's it.” Chandler's determined monotone voice caused McNamara to finally stop advocating for salt and vinegar corn nuts. That and the nudge delivered by Duke.
An uneasy feeling covered the table as Chandler smiled, eyes meeting each other in a silent agreement to stay quiet. “Oh Kurt! Ram! Come over here!” She sang out in a sickeningly sweet tone that could lure a mouse to a cat.
They quickly looked over and abandoned the nerd to his discarded lunch. They reached the table and slammed themselves down, sitting on it in excitement. “And what service can I provide?”
Ram pushed Kurt out of the way. “You lonely? I could totally scratch that itch of yours?” Kurt pushed him back. “No way! I'm better in bed! You want me, not him!”
“Boys Boys!” She interrupted before Ram could tackle him. “What I want involves both of you. Simultaneously.”
They quieted and whipped their heads towards Chandler. With a look of shock they looked between each other and her over and over again, smiles slowly growing on their faces.
“You wanna know what would really get me going?” She whispered in a sultry tone. The boys leaned in, eyes widening as they came to terms with this being reality and not some wet dream.
“I have this… fantasy.” The boys started nodding, ushering her to go on. “I've always wanted to see two boys make out.”
They both reel back in shock, glancing at each other. The girl's eyes widen and they also look at each other as they start to piece together her plan. McNamara covers her mouth to hide her smile.
“Woah, sorry girls, but I ain't no fag! Right Kurt?” Kurt shakes his head hastily, his hair flipping violently at the speed of which he was denying.
“Is It really gay if you're doing it to please a woman?” Kurt and Ram meet eyes, lingering for slightly too long. “Think of it like a threesome, just with less work from me.”
“Well, in that case!” Ram nudges Kurt with a smile on his face. Kurt raises an eyebrow, looking over to Chandler. “But what do we get out of this?”
“Me and Veronica will have a foursome with you.”
“Deal!”
“WHAT!?”
Heather Chandler snaps a look towards Veronica. She closes her mouth and looks away annoyed. Chandler looks back towards the boys. “My place. 8pm. That work for you?”
“Of course!”
“Then scram. ”
“Punch it in!” They turn to each other and fist bump before rushing off, shoving each other while celebrating like a bunch of giddy high school girls. Chandler watched, amusement painting her face.
“What the hell!” Veronica snapped. Duke laughing in the background only served to further her bewilderment. “You want me to…. WHAT!?”
Chandler looked offended and looked her over judgingly. “With you? I would never even dream of it Sawyer! Learn to tell a lie once in a while.” She rolled her eyes, scoffing as she did so.
Veronica picked at her food, biting her lip slightly. “So, if this is about public humiliation… why are you doing it alone in your house?”
McNamara slowly gasps, her eyes lighting up. “Oh my god, she's totally going to film it!”
“What, so I have to trim and edit the footage? Do I look like a porn director?” Chandler glared at McNamara before she could answer. “I'm gonna livestream it.”
Duke choked on her milk. “Jesus Heather, this is why Kurt called you the devil last week!” McNamara started gushing about it while Duke kept laughing.
Veronica couldn't deny the curiosity building under her skin, of what type she's not sure. Morbid curiosity, sexual curiosity, or just fear of missing out, it wasn't clear. What was clear, is everyone who heard about this was going to be there live and everyone who heard about it after would watch the playback.
Heather Chandler set up her phone behind a small potted plant, giggling to herself. She's not even sure how far she'll let this go. Posting a suggestive video without someone's consent was obviously a little far, but this was Kurt and Ram she was talking about. They had already posted countless sex tapes of themselves on the official Westerberg website, much to the principal's dismay. What's a kiss or two?
She watched as the viewer count climbed rapidly. It seemed like everyone except for Kurt and Ram knew what she had planned. She was snapped out of her excitement by knocking at the door. She took one last look at the screen and smiled.
The door opened and Heather dragged them to the bed in the guest bedroom. There wasn't a hint of nervousness between the boys, at least none that Heather could sense.
“So, what do we do? Just… like… kiss?” Kurt asked as he looked at Heather, both of them seemingly awaiting instructions.
“I want you to make out. Like, hot and heavy style. Get handsy if you really wanna get me going!” Heather teased, laughing as she leaned back against the dresser.
The boys looked at each other for a moment. Their eyes seemed to wonder over the other in preparation. “For free pussy!” Ram shouted like a toast before grabbing Kurt by his jacket and pulling him in roughly.
As their lips met, Kurt grabbed Ram's upper sleeves in shock. The electricity that exploded out of it seemed to singe their brains. As every other thought left their mind, Kurt tilted his head to taste more, closing his eyes to focus more on every sensation Ram was giving him.
Heather watches impressed as they take to each other without any awkwardness. Whether that's better or worse for the video she's not sure, but there's no doubt they connect like magnets filled with confidence and possibly a hint of desperation, but Heather shakes that last part off.
Kurt trails his hands down slowly, teasing his clothed skin and stopping when he reaches Rams waist. He grabs on and tugs him closer, causing him to arch his back slightly. In response, Ram wraps his arms around his neck and bites his lip.
He flinches from the pinch and pulls back slightly, barely getting a moment to breathe before Ram uses it as an opportunity to shove his tongue in his mouth. A small noise of surprise escapes him as their saliva mixes with one another's.
Kurt furrows his brow and reaches up to entangle his fingers in Ram's soft brown hair. He roughly pulls downwards, earning a painful hiss followed by a shaky pleased whimper. Ram clenches his eyes shut, determined to not be taken over.
Heather watched the rough battle for dominance play out on her guest bed. In an odd turn of events, she's starting to feel like she's intruding. The boys seem to be lost in eachother and she's not sure if they even remember that she's there. She decides they are just really good actors.
Ram starts to push Kurt's letterman jacket off of his shoulders. He rushes to help him as his cheeks burn redder. He tossed it half hazardly to the side and pressed his lips rougher into him. In a crazed frenzy built on years of tension and repressed feelings, they don't notice the spit dripping down from their mouths and drenching their shirts.
Heather stares in complete shock, but of course they don't notice. A deep red flushed her face as she watches, deeply embarrassed and kind of intrigued. This was by far the most erotic thing she had ever seen, in video and in person. They were… really… good actors.
Ram grabbed Kurt's leg and pulled it onto his leg, obviously trying to get him to straddle him. Kurt pulled back, leaving a long and slimy trail of saliva between their panting mouths. With both eyes lidded and hair sticking to their sweat covered forheads, it was impossible to deny the truth of the situation.
But Heather Chandler was stubborn.
Kurt lunged for Ram's neck and bit down hard. He sucked on the skin gently as he shoved his hand down his pants. The pain mixed with the skin to skin contact pushed Ram past a line. He let out a loud gasp followed by a pathetic cry out. “Aah- Fuck- Kur- Kurt!”
Watching as he threw his head back, arched his spine, and gripped Kurt's shoulders, could she really deny it anymore?
This was real.
This was oh so real.
They completely forgot she was there, and of course they had no idea about the audience.
She was just gonna livestream them awkwardly kissing a few times to humiliate them. The two most desperate homophobic guys in town making out just to get some action? Hilarious! This was barely even similar. She didn't mean to completely out them to the whole town! That was an entirely different fallout.
Now, she's not claiming to be a good person by any means. She would have no problem using this a blackmail against them, but broadcasting this to everyone seemed even a little beyond her standards.
She grabbed her phone and quietly left the room. She muttered something about them being really great actors and ended the livestream.
She set her phone on the coffee table and layed down on the couch, reevaluating everything she ever thought she knew about Kurt and Ram.
Did they even like women? Was the hypersexuality with women a way of ignoring the fact that they were gay? Did they even know? Was it subconscious?
Is this the first… encounter… they've had like this?
On second thought, maybe she could do without knowing that one.
What she really could do without was knowing what Kurt sounded like moaning out Ram's name through her walls. It didn't take much longer before she could no longer ignore the noises she was hearing.
She opened the front door and started taking a walk down the street. The noises didn't leave her mind, and she found herself replaying them over and over again in her head. Men had never been that loud and whiny when they were with her. What difference was there? Well… she could think of one.
“Two dicks, no pussy. Maybe I should try pegging…”
“Excuse me?”
She looked up to meet eyes with a very confused JD.
“Jesus, you're out here too? Make a friend, creep.” Heather rolled her eyes and took that as a sign that she should just sit on her porch instead.
An impressive amount of time had passed by the time her front door slowly creaked open. She looked over to see Ram trying to sneak out. He looked like a deer in headlights. Correction, a deer that had been hit by a car in headlights.
Hair messier that thought possible, marks and bruises littering his neck, scratches peeking from under his shirt, and blood from somewhere smeared across his face. What a sight.
Heather couldn't stop staring. “I think you've had more fun the past few hours than I have all year.” She laughed slightly in pure disbelief of his state.
“Ram, what are you doing!? Quick! Move it!” Kurt shoved past him before also stopping. He was in a similar state, but now she could see where the blood came from. His lip was split, most likely from Ram biting down too hard. They looked like a couple of shot deer.
She almost considered telling them they could hide out here during the fallout she's inevitably caused, but she's Heather Chandler, so she just told them to get the hell out of her house.
“So about you and Veronica-”
“Not happening.”