Chapter Text
The battle in New York is only the second time Steve Rogers has seen New York again since his defrosting, and the first time went remarkably poorly. Afterwards, after shawarma, and a blissfully hot shower, they all meet in Central Park to see Thor and his nutty brother off, and Steve gets on his beautiful restored motorcycle that SHIELD had procured out of nowhere, and intends to get on the road, see the new America, and spend some time out in this brave new world he needs to rediscover.
He has only made it as far as Jersey City before his hands start shaking, and he finds an unmoving lump in his throat and a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. He pulls off to the side of the road, and gasps for breath. It takes him 10 minutes to get himself mostly under control, and he turns back to New York with his vision still blurry and his heart pounding a lot faster than he’d like.
He reports back to SHIELD, where Nick Fury raises an eyebrow at him, but says nothing and doesn’t question his averted plans for his Great American Roadtrip. They offer to house him in an apartment in Brooklyn, even in his old neighbourhood, but he declines. He moves into the SHIELD New York Field Office, which has a few empty, practical, rooms, saying that he prefers to be close to the training rooms, where he spends his days obliterating punching bags. He wraps his hands too tightly with tape, feels the blood struggle to move through his finger and he fights and fights the inanimate bags until they give in and scatter across the floor like ungainly monsters. Fighting is all he thinks he knows how to do now. That is one thing that hasn’t changed at all and he still knows how to do it.
---
The first familiar face he saw after he woke up after 70 years was Tony Stark’s, and Tony did not appreciate being told he was a familiar face. The next time they saw each other was not much friendlier, and although they shook hands in Central Park, Steve was quite certain that they were not friends.
The second familiar face was Sharon Carter’s. She was pleasant, and pretty, and funny, and they sat in the cafeteria and she told Steve stories about her Aunt Peggy, and he laughed and felt normal for a little bit. But when she asked him if he wanted to go get lunch outside one day, maybe just a hot dog from a cart, Steve said he was busy. He was busy the next time too, and the next. Finally, when she asked him if he wanted to go with her to visit Peggy - his Peggy - in the retirement community, and he declined, citing training schedules, out of all things - as if he didn’t make his own training schedules - she stopped coming by. He wanted to apologize to her, tell her that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, it’s just that he didn’t want to go outside, but that sounded so stupid.
---
The next battle is in New York too - something about a robotic lizard, and Captain America leads the Avengers confidently, and they win of course, with zero casualties and minimal property damage. They go out for Vietnamese food afterwards and Natasha laughs when he fumbles his chopsticks and Tony says he’ll invent a pair of automated chopsticks for him. He still has the cowl on, and he laughs and tosses beansprouts at them.
They part ways outside the restaurant, and Steve walks the 14 blocks back to the SHIELD field office staring straight ahead with a forced smile on his face.
---
At his mandatory psych evaluation, Steve grins and shows that he knows how to use his SHIELD provided StarkPad and phone, and discusses the Vietnam War and shows a fluent understanding of modern pop music, and no one asks him why he never leaves the building except on Avengers missions.
---
It is not a surprise to Steve when he punches another punching bag so hard that it flies off its chains again, but it is a surprise that it lands practically on Tony Stark’s feet, grazing his shiny leather loafers.
“Whoa there, Cap.” Tony says, still leaning against the wall of the gym.
“Stark.” Steve isn’t very sure what to say.
“Um, hey.” Tony shrugs awkwardly. “I was meeting with Fury, catching him up on some new technological wonders of mine, and I thought I’d stick my head in - see how you were doing.”
“I’m - I’m doing fine.” Steve says, his brain working in overdrive - for what exactly, he’s not sure.
“I wanted to tell you that Bruce moved in to the tower, and it’s cool if you want to come by too.”
“To - to Stark Tower?”
“Yes, I have lots of towers, but that’s the one. It’s big and ugly, in the middle of New York, a bit damaged by aliens, can’t miss it.”’
“I’m sorry about calling it ugly.”
Tony sighs, and walks towards Steve, sitting on a wooden bench facing him. Steve avoids his gaze, focusing on unwrapping his hands far more intently than usual.
“You’re not going to come to the tower, are you?”
“No, I will, it’s just that -”
“Fury sent me, actually. He said that you’ve haven’t left this building once of your own accord.”
“I just haven’t needed to, that’s all.” Steve mutters defensively.
“Really, Cap? Not one bit of curiosity about how New York has changed? No hot dogs? Feeding birds in Central Park?”
“No, it’s not that - “
“Look, I came here to give you something, but I already told Fury I’m not your babysitter. Whatever your problems are, you’ve got to sort them out yourself, okay? But you do have an open invitation to the Tower, like all the other Avengers. Got it?” Tony’s voice is rough, and purposefully nonchalant.
“Yes.”
Steve doesn’t know what to say and he isn’t sure that Tony hears his soft thanks as the man loudly walks out of the gym, already violently thumbing at his phone. He waits until he goes back to his bleak room to open the small, long box Tony had handed him - he figures it houses a wrist communicator, the box is about the right size for a watch like device, and on the last mission, Tony was bitching loudly about the SHIELD issued ones.
It is not a communicator. It is a pair of chopsticks, that swing themselves up and skitter across his little table and dance around his metal desk lamp. They make Steve laugh and he spends the next half hour watching them wander around his room before he notices something else in the box, partially buried in the foam padding. There is a key - a perfectly normal key - with an exceedingly dorky Captain America keychain on it. Below it is a note, in scrawly, messy handwriting, that reads “Key to your room at Stark Tower. Come by any time. - T”
Steve isn’t sure how it is, but the weight of the key feels secure and reassuring in a way he hadn’t expected.
---
It takes him three weeks to get to Stark Tower, and he plots it like a mission. He has learned how to use Google Maps, which is a godsend, and he plans his primary and secondary routes, and two alternates. He leaves at 4am, before the sun rises and the streets fill with people. He arrives at 4:07am, because he is Captain America and he can run very fast and New York is not very big. Being out on the streets, even the mostly empty ones, inhaling the cool morning breeze for the first time in almost-forever, he feels like this is a small victory.