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Furina prepares for the meeting in a sort of daze.
It’s going to be fine, she tells herself. The Knave wouldn’t dare try anything in the Palais. She wouldn’t dare bring up anything with so many listening ears around. It’s going to be fine.
She stares at her reflection until her hands stop shaking and she is close to being late.
She bolts from the room and nearly crashes into Neuvillette.
“Lady Furina?”
“Neuvillette!” Furina fixes her hat, smiling up at him. That’s right. Neuvillette is here. Even if the Knave attempted— something, if Furina screamed, Neuvillette and her guards would be close enough to hear. Unless—
“Going somewhere?” Furina laces her fingers behind her back to hide her once-again shaky hands and leans up on her toes. “Is there a trial I wasn’t informed of?”
Neuvillette tilts his head. He has to look almost straight down, with how close she’s wobbled into his space. “No,” he says. “I was on my way to attend the meeting with the Harbinger. Did you change your mind about wanting me there?”
“No!” Furina immediately lunges for his hand, clutching it between both of hers. “No, no no no, I want you to come! I’m so happy you’re coming! The more the merrier, you know.” She laughs; it sounds strident.
Neuvillette very gently disentangles himself. “We will be late if we don’t go now, Lady Furina.”
Furina startles. She’d been so euphoric about Neuvillette’s change of heart that she nearly forgot the reason she was so wild to have him come in the first place. “Right! Of course. Follow me.”
+++++
The meeting with the Knave goes about how Furina expected, which is to say she remembers basically none of it after the fact.
She makes some comment about the spread of pastries at the table, before promptly throwing Neuvillette under the aquabus and disassociating in a last-ditch attempt to keep from going to pieces in front of their nicest tea set.
It’s fine, she tells herself. It’s fine. Neuvillette is here. The Knave wouldn’t bring up anything dangerous in front of him. She wouldn’t try anything in the Palais. Neuvillette is here. If she did try something, Neuvillette could stop her. He knocked that other Harbinger senseless without breaking a sweat. It’s fine. Neuvillette is here. It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m fine—
The Knave speaks to her once or twice. Furina doesn’t recall what either of them says. She does remember, though, that the Knave looms directly over Furina’s chair at one point, with some words about something Furina should arrange for her, low and threatening. Only Neuvillette’s timely answer — whatever it is — stops Furina from running away.
She can’t do this. She can’t take it anymore. But no; to give up would be to damn everyone in Fontaine, after so much work and so many hopes. She can’t stand it. She must. She must, she must, she must—
The meeting is over. Furina smiles and laughs and bids the Knave farewell. Neuvillette sees her off; Furina can’t seem to get her legs working.
“Lady Furina.”
Neuvillette is back. He’s watching her closely.
“Oh, Neuvillette.” Furina feels her smile go a little manic at the edges. It’s relief, probably. “I think that went well!”
“I still believe it would have been more prudent to refuse the Harbinger outright,” says Neuvillette, which is as close to an I told you so as he’ll ever get, “but we managed to buy time to look into Tartaglia’s disappearance, so it was overall a success.”
How kind of him to say we, like Furina contributed anything of value to the past twenty minutes. It’s an awful thought — without Neuvillette there to keep the Knave’s attention and make calm, rational decisions, would Furina have completely fallen apart? Would her lie have been exposed? Would Fontaine—
No. No, it’s not worth thinking about. Neuvillette has never abandoned her, not once in four hundred years; they can’t truly be friends, when she’s lying to him every moment of every day, but he is still present.
Furina will take what she can get.
Her smile this time is more genuine. “I’m just glad it’s over. We’ve seen too many Harbingers of late, I think.”
“I will not disagree.” Neuvillette finally stops looking at her like she’s a puzzle he’s trying to solve and turns his attention to the barely-touched food. “Would you like any of this before it’s cleared away?”
Even the thought of eating makes Furina want to vomit. “I’m still full from lunch, actually, but it’s so kind of you to ask!”
“Hm.” Neuvillette’s eyes settle on a cake — the one the Knave brought especially for Furina. “Would you mind if I took this, then?”
Furina is so gobsmacked by this request that she almost feels normal again. “What?”
“I would like to have this cake,” Neuvillette repeats, “unless you prefer to keep it for yourself?”
“Hardly!” Furina wants nothing to do with Fatui bribery, and besides— “I’m so glad you’re expressing an interest in sweets at last. My efforts have not been in vain!”
“I will have to disappoint you,” he says, picking up the cake. “I plan to give it to someone else, as part of their payment for investigating Tartaglia for us.”
Furina deflates. Of course Neuvillette wouldn’t be planning to eat a whole cake by himself. Furina has been forcing him to try bites of her sweets for centuries now, and the only one he’s ever legitimately liked was a light sponge cake served with raspberry coulis, and the patisserie discontinued that recipe ages ago. “Well,” she says, “I’ve given it to you, so it’s yours to do with as you please. You’re welcome to anything else on this table — no, to anything my personal chefs can make — in gratitude for your services today,” she says, grandly.
Neuvillette blinks at her over his plate of cake. “It was no trouble,” he says. “I didn’t have any pressing matters this afternoon, and as you asked me to come, I thought I would.”
Furina bites her lip. He is so kind sometimes, and she can never find any way to repay him that wouldn’t veer dangerously close to too much honesty. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want?” She knows she’s toeing the line, but surely — surely! — there is something an archon, even a fake one, can offer. “You don’t get a lot of free time,” she adds, lightly, “so I feel very bad for making you miss a walk, or a chance to — drink water, or something.”
Neuvillette shakes his head. “I need no thanks for doing my job. However. . .” He hesitates over his next words, which is enough to get Furina sitting up a little straighter in her chair. “Are you sure there’s nothing you would like to talk about? You seem very anxious and tense.”
Furina ignores the clench in her gut and laughs. “Wouldn’t anybody be a little nervous, meeting with a Fatui Harbinger?”
“You are not just anybody.” Furina’s smile freezes on her face. “You are the archon of Fontaine.” Neuvillette hesitates again. “If you would prefer not to speak of your troubles with me, I understand. But if there were someone else—”
“There isn’t anyone else!” Neuvillette looks startled. “I mean, there isn’t anything troubling me,” Furina amends quickly. “Aside from a slight headache, which I’m sure a nap will fix. In fact, I think I’ll go do that now.”
“Lady Furina—”
“Thank you for coming, Neuvillette.” Furina pauses halfway to the door, meeting Neuvillette’s eyes. This is sincere. This is real. You won’t take anything else, so this is all I can give you. “I mean it.”
She runs from the room, feeling tears prick her eyelids.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.
Someday I’ll find a way to do more.