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Why does it feel so suffocating?
I'm finally safe, and I feel trapped.
Low ceilings, small rooms, and this bunk bed? It feels so… strange… claustrophobic…
I'm used to such wide open areas, little shelter but the only restraints being my own stamina. And… Her
Silver gripped his chest, feeling tight and uncomfortable. He sat up in his bed, his eyes glued shut and his brows furrowed.
Why is my heart beating so fast? I'm scared but there's no danger…
There's no… She's not…
A wave of cold sweat washed over him, his trembling hand gripping the sheets tightly as he tried to get a hang of himself.
What's wrong with me? I'm not in any danger! There's no…
Silver put his hand on his head, unable to focus on anything visual.
Fire…
He could feel his heart race.
Or Blaze…
Damn it
He subconsciously used his psychokinesis to yank the blanket off of him, inadvertently lighting up his surroundings. He stood up and made his way to the middle of the room. He tripped, but swiftly caught himself with his telekinetic abilities, guilty eyes looking towards the top bunk, where Espio was.
I need to keep quiet…
Silver brought himself back to his feet, slowly walking towards the blinded window using his telekinesis to draw it open.
The moon was full, illuminating the dark room. It's still hard for him to comprehend just how much light comes from the sky. Even when it's dark, there's still something shining. It's… comforting ?
Having seen nothing but a dull layer of dark clouds and smoke with the only illumination being fire for almost his entire life, having this new brightness was something to get used to.
Every day, it felt more distant from his future. A place he hated, a place he knew, a place he missed. With a person he loved, a person he let go.
There wasn't a burden anymore, why did his shoulders still feel so heavy ?
Feeling droplets of water splatter drip on his hand caused him to snap back to reality.
He reached his hand up to his cheek, feeling dampness on his fingers.
How long was I crying?
He couldn't answer. It doesn't matter.
As his eyes continued to leak, he set his chin on the windowsill, his forearms cushioning himself.
You would've loved this, wouldn't you?
His breathing wasn't even, it hadn't been for a short while, but it was picking up to an erratic pace.
Bright clear skies, the stars, and just life…
Silver couldn't hold himself back, his gasps turned to quiet sobs as he continued to think.
It's so beautiful… You've seen how beautiful it is…
“Why did you have to go?”
He covered his face, feeling how his breath staggered each time he tried to take a breath.
Quiet, hushed sobs filled the room, Silver unable to keep himself silent.
Through sobs, he felt a pressure on his shoulder. Several small points of pressure. Whose hand is that?
Silver jolted away, letting out a shriek of surprise, falling backwards in the opposite direction of… Espio? The chameleon looked just as shocked by the hedgehog's reaction, instinctively turning invisible right before Silver's head hit the ground. It was a short fall, but it still shook the pair.
“Espio–?!” Silver’s tone was confused, shocked, but still carried over some fragility from his earlier cries.
Espio turned visible again, reaching to help Silver up, but retracting the gesture as Silver lifted himself with psychokinesis.
“I'm – sorry…” Espio stumbled out. “I heard you… and, I thought…” He mumbled, before sighing. “I didn't want you to be sad…”
Silver was left speechless. The silence that was carried between them lasted a while, Silver finding it oddly comfortable, if a bit confusing, while Espio found it embarrassing and awkward.
“I– I should… go back to bed…” Espio muttered, backing away.
“Wait,” Silver quietly called out, accidentally freezing Espio in his place, lighting up the room just slightly more. As he realized his actions, he let Espio go, the glow of his markings disappearing yet again, but Espio still chose to stay in place. “I'm… sorry, for waking you up…” He mumbled, feeling his face getting hot from embarrassment.
“It’s really no issue.” Espio looked towards the floor. “I wasn't asleep anyways.”
“O- Oh…” Silver felt his guilt of waking him up dissipate, but his cheeks got warmer. Luckily, the dimness of the room masked the blush. How embarrassing …
“Do… You need to talk about it? Or should I just…” Espio mumbled, looking away, evident by the turning of his head.
“I… I'm not sure…” Silver felt a bit lighter as he let out a sigh. “Everything is changing, and I'm just…” Silver stared down at the ground, the light that's peered in through the window. He walks past it, past Espio, and sits on his bottom bunk of the bed. “I'm not sure what's wrong with me… I should be glad I'm able to be safe, but I'm… so confused…” Silver continued to stare at the ground, paying no mind to Espio's approach. “She wanted me to be happy, but I'm not .”
Espio sat beside Silver, a comfortable but small distance between them. “It's okay to not be okay.” Espio said, his voice clear, quiet, but still laced with vulnerability. The tone made Silver's ears perk up, looking towards the chameleon. “It took me a long time to adjust too. Vector and Charmy helped me, but I still needed time.”
“You weren't always with them?” Silver murmured, his eyes widening.
Espio chuckled softly. “No, no.” He looked towards the scant light on the ground. “I learned so much before I met them. Ninjitsu, discipline… Heh, English isn't even my first language.”
“Really? I could never tell from your accent.” Silver mumbled.
“Well, I was taught English when I was young, alongside Japanese…” Espio muttered shyly, Silver barely being able to make out a smile on his face. “But, that's enough from me…”
“I like hearing you talk.” Silver's hand took hold of Espio's, making the chameleon jump.
Espio stared at Silver, who stared back, the slight height difference making Espio feel more cornered. “You do?”
“Mhm. Your voice is kinda soothing.” Silver leaned closer to Espio. “It's nice, it helps keep my mind clear.” Silver could barely make out Espio's expression.
Shock .
Silver pulled himself away, face red with embarrassment. “Sorry! I didn't mean to corner you…”
“I didn't mind… You're pleasant to be near.” Espio's voice was shy and quiet.
Silver felt his pulse increase. It wasn't panic, it was something else… Something airy…
“Would you like to stay with me tonight?” Silver blurted out
What the hell am I saying ?
“Like, bottom… bunk…” Silver felt his face get hot. “Nevermind, I don't know, I'm just…”
“We can do that.” Espio whispered quickly.
“Really?” Silver's eyes widened. Surprise? Excitement? Silver is unsure. “You're… okay with it?”
“Me and Charmy used to cuddle to conserve body heat during the winter.” Espio shrugged. “Closeness is not an issue for me.”
“But that's your little brother, you know him” Silver rambled, his pace increasing with each word. “And I'm just…”
“My friend.” Espio cut him off. “And my roommate. And someone I care about.”
Silver felt his face turn red and he just lied down, feet on the floor still.
Espio did the same.
It feels so close …
So comfortable…
“You remind me of her.” Silver mumbled breathlessly.
“Who?” Espio asked, his head turning to Silver's.
“My best friend.” Silver smiled gently. “She was like my other half, I couldn't live without her, but I am. It's strange.” His smile faded as he talked, and his tone felt fragile. “Her name was Blaze.” He admitted, his voice trembling under the weight of its sentimentality. “I don't think she's ever coming back.” he choked out.
Espio’s hand found Silver's, helping the hedgehog calm himself. “You kind of look like her…” Silver mumbled softly. “I could go on forever listing similarities.”
“Do you want to?” Espio inquired, his tone was genuine.
“Heh… maybe…” Silver laughed it off, until it set in. “Wait, do you want to hear it?”
“Wouldn't it help you go to sleep?” Espio's voice was calm, kind.
“Huh… I guess so…” Silver’s thumb brushed against the dorsal side of Espio's hand. “Well, first off, you're both purple. She was more of a blue-ish purple, and her fur was paler. You're more… what's the word… Magenta? Like a purple pink. Then your eyes…” Silver carried on, and on, and on. Silver occasionally yawning, and Espio doing the same.
They kept talking until there were no more murmurs, only the steady breathing of the pair asleep.
“Oi, Espio?” Charmy opened the door, greeted by the morning sunlight peering through the window. “You're usually–” He fell silent as he looked towards the bed. Silver held Espio close to his own body, Espio unconsciously clinging onto Silver's arm. Charmy sighed, shaking his head. “Ah, whatever. I'll let ‘em sleep.” he murmured, closing the door behind himself.