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Cass didn’t know much, but she knew blood.
She knew that people bleed when you hurt them, and if they bleed enough, they’d die. She knew what blood felt like on her hands. She knew that, if she bled, Cain would hurt her as punishment for letting herself get hurt.
Cass knew blood, but she didn’t understand much else about human bodies. She didn’t understand why other people couldn’t move like she did. She didn’t understand why people had to eat or sleep. She didn’t understand why people laughed or cried.
She didn’t understand that some people’s bodies bled for other reasons.
Cass had just come back to the Clock Tower after a successful night as Batgirl, when she felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen. She didn’t understand. She had won every fight; none of the people she fought had been able to land a hit on her. Why was she hurting? It didn’t make sense.
Cass tried to ignore it, but the pain got worse and worse. Why wasn’t it going away? What was wrong with her?
When the blood appeared, staining through her suit, Cass started to panic. Babs was going to know. If she found out Cass had failed and gotten hurt - you didn’t get hurt, none of them even touched you - bad things were going to happen. Cass didn’t know what bad things, but blood always made bad things happen.
It would be worse if she left the blood everywhere. She couldn’t save the suit, but she might be able to keep the carpets clean. Babs liked things to be clean. At least Cass wouldn’t inconvenience Babs too much when she died.
Even if an inconvenience was all Cass was.
Cass moved quietly though the Clock Tower. There was a small bathroom. The shower inside had lots of space, so Babs could sit in a chair while she washed herself. The shower was separated from the rest of the room by a raised ledge. That way, the rest of the floor stayed dry, and all the water stayed in one place.
All the blood, too.
Cass didn’t want to take off the suit, so she laid down on the tiled floor of the shower.
If she was going to bleed to death, she wanted to die as Batgirl.
After all, Batgirl was a hero and Cass was a monster.
Cass wanted to die a hero.
Babs had woken up in the middle of the night, cold with sweat. She hardly remembered the nightmare that had woken her up, but that was something she had gotten used to. A shower would settle her, and she’d be able to go back to sleep.
Babs wheeled her chair slowly down the hallway, not wanting to wake Cass up. She’d done a good job as Batgirl that night, and needed all the rest she could get.
When Babs pushed open the bathroom door, however, she was surprised to see that the lights were already on. “Cass? Are you in here?”
Cass, lying motionless in the shower, raised a single hand. It took a moment for Babs to realise that she was still dressed in her Batgirl costume, and another to take in the blood pooling around her.
“Cass?” Babs repeated, trying to roll her chair as close to the shower as she could. “Where are you hurt?”
“Don’t know,” Cass mumbled. “Dying. I love you.”
“Did someone manage to hit you?” Babs asked.
“No. Happened anyway. Blood. Everywhere.” Cass curled up, facing away from Babs and hiding her tears. “Just got family. Why now ? Why dying now ?”
Babs took a breath. It was never easy to have this sort of conversation with Cass. The girl was so smart, but there was so much she simply couldn’t understand.
At least Babs knew what was happening now, though. Well… she had a theory .
“Before the blood appeared, did your stomach hurt?” Babs asked.
That caught Cass’ attention. “Lots.”
“And the blood… it’s coming from between your legs, right?”
“Yes…?”
“Alright, can you stand up for me, Cassie?”
Cass shook her head. “No. Dying here, thank you.”
“You’re not dying,” Babs said, manoeuvring from her wheelchair to the plastic chair that was built into her shower. “This is something that happens to people like us.”
“Heroes?”
“Not quite… people with bodies like ours,” Babs said, choosing her words carefully. “Sometimes, when we don’t eat enough, our bodies don’t realise this is something they’re meant to do. I think, now that you’re eating properly, your body has realised it’s supposed to menstruate.”
Cass sat up, looking at Babs with curious eyes. She shuffled over, resting her chin on Babs’ knee. “Not dying?” she said slowly. “But… blood?”
“I promise you, this is something lots of people deal with,” Babs said, stroking Cass’ hair. “You’re not going to die. It’s going to last a few days, though, and you’re going to have to deal with it every month, unless you take pills to stop them.”
“Yes, please.”
“That’s something you need to see a doctor for,” Babs said. “There isn’t much I can do about it right now.”
Cass scrunched her face up. “Don’t like doctors.”
“I know, they can be scary,” Babs said, putting her hands under Cass’ arms to pull her up. “You wash up, and I’ll go grab you some pads and a hot water bottle, okay?”
Quiet for a moment, Cass nodded, turning around and turning on the shower.
“Wait until I’m out of the shower!” Babs yelped, quickly transferring from the plastic chair to her wheelchair. Before she left, she took a packet of pads out of the cupboard. “These go in your underwear. There are instructions on the side of the box, if you get confused.”
Cass nodded again, and Babs decided to leave her to it.
Ten minutes later, Cass emerged from the shower, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, holding the bloody Batgirl suit in her hands. “Clean?” Cass said slowly, holding out the costume. “Please?”
“I really should show you how to use the washing machine,” Babs said, taking the suit and exchanging it for a hot water bottle. “Put this on your stomach. It’ll make it hurt less.”
It always killed Babs to think about how little love Cass had gotten in her life, but she had plans to change that, one step at a time.