Chapter Text
“Jacob, you’re doing it wrong.”
Melissa takes the knife and garlic clove out of his hands, using the side of the blade to smash it against the cutting board.
“That’s literally exactly how I was doing it.” He pivots to measuring out breadcrumbs so he has something to do with his hands, definitely not because he needs this dinner to be perfect because he doesn’t, Avi has just been very understanding about his needing a rain check from last week. And yes, Jacob really did need to cancel even though they found Sweet Cheeks behind the fridge thirty minutes after he sent that text.
“You’re lucky I’m even letting you use turkey to make the meatballs. Gonna give my Nona a heart attack from beyond the grave.”
“Well, excuse me for caring about the environment,” he sasses, throwing in the various spices Melissa has already set aside, “You know, red meat creates so much methane–”
“Jacob, stop talking about cow farts in the kitchen.” She scrapes the contents of the cutting board into his bowl.
He slides it over to her as she rolls up her sleeves. He wanted to be the one to mix together the ingredients, but he knows he’s already testing her with the alternative meat, so he settles for chewing the corner of his already worried thumb.
Things are starting to really gear up in terms of Avi-ness, probably in no small part due to his roommate dating his fire captain. The Jacob from a few months ago would never in a million years think that his casual no-strings hookup from the back of Rubenstein’s would convalesce in a handful of surprisingly nice dinners and a trivia night. He constantly has to remind himself that things really have been going well, but try as he might, he can't rid himself of the anxiety blooming in his chest everytime he gets a good morning, handsome message after a night out.
He’s been trying really hard to not turn tail and run every time Avi says something vaguely Zach-like, which really isn’t that often, because Avi and Zach couldn’t be more different, really.
It’s actually one of the reasons Jacob even said yes to the first date after their initial night together (though the memory of his abs was not forgotten even when he covered it up in that sexy uniform). He hadn’t meant to blow him off completely, but he didn’t exactly make the effort to respond to any of the followup texts he’d received. He’d assumed the offer would just lead to empty conversations serving as an appetizer to more bedroom fun; a simple distraction from the mess that became his world following the breakup of what was easily the longest relationship of his life.
Except that, after their paths crossed again at the CPR training, Avi had offered to take him to coffee at what happened to be one of Jacob’s favorite hole-in-the-wall cafes. One date led to another, and then three more, and even a double date with both their coworkers. In spite of the horrendous trainwreck that had ended in, Avi had still asked if they maybe could do another at the same time next week.
Maybe it was Jacob’s fault that he kept saying yes, even though he knew it probably wouldn’t last long. Of course, he doesn’t want it to stop, but the longer things go on the more cagey he feels. The casual label is beginning to wear with overuse.
Week after week, the time he’s spent with Avi has grown, and maybe his feelings have, too.
Maybe.
But he doesn’t want to think about that right now. Eventually he’s gonna find a way to ‘Jacob’ it all up like he did with Zach, and when he does he doubts Avi will want anything to do with him.
“Hello? Earth to Jacob!” Melissa is passing him the bowl, gesturing dangerously to him with the knife in her other hand. “I need you to roll the balls while I cut the pasta.”
He breaks away from his thoughts, smiling cheekily at her. “Well, I have been told I’m good at that.”
Melissa rolls her eyes. “Ha ha. Plenty of time for that later, and I do not need to hear about it.”
His attention is pinpointed on making sure he’s rolling the meatballs to the same size, but he still feels Melissa’s gaze sticking to him.
“Where’s your head at, kid? You look constipated.”
He sighs. “Nervous, I guess.”
“Oh, come on. Your little boyfriend’s obsessed with you.” Under her breath she adds, “Somehow…”
“He is not my boyfriend,” Jacob corrects, slapping one of his creations down too hard onto the baking sheet.
“Riiiight. And that’s why you’ve been micromanaging me in my own kitchen,” She sets the knife down and leans one hand on the island. “This ‘cause you cancelled on him? How many times has Avi cancelled on you?”
Jacob sort of hates that Melissa is able to read him like that. He starts over on his patty of a meatball, still avoiding her stare. “Avi is a paramedic, it’s not his fault that his shifts sometimes run late. I’d much rather he save a life than hang out with me.”
He’s gracefully avoidant of the fact that he’s been the one to cancel on the past three date nights this month. In his defense, life got busy and he really did need that time to catch up on grading papers and writing lesson plans. Besides, things really aren’t that serious between them; if they were Jacob is sure there would’ve been more of an argument.
No, Avi had been very flexible even with his own unreliable schedule, and after the first few rain checks on his end he had taken to texting Jacob once he was officially let go from work. Which is…very sweet, if Jacob is being honest, that he cares enough to quell his anxiety by giving him the confirmation that yes, I’ll be there, just wait for me.
Jacob would totally do the same if he could manage to find the words, really, he would. But he prefers calling to texting, and he knows that Avi probably doesn’t want him to talk his ear off over the phone when he already does it enough in person. Besides, Avi told him once that he finds it hot when guys play hard-to-get.
Melissa finally lets him off the hook, turning back to cutting up the homemade pasta with a shrug.
–
Avi’s arm is draped loosely over his shoulders, Jacob’s brushing his side whenever he takes another fry from the basket on the table.
In a shocking turn of events, Gregory had been the one to suggest the diner as a redemption for the first double date. Given his limited palate and Oscar’s extensive menu, it makes sense that he chose it, and Jacob considers the throwback music from the early 2000s an added bonus. It’s made all the sweeter by the fact that their schedules had finally lined up, meaning he gets the pleasure of being surrounded by his favorite people in the world.
“...HR be damned. And look, I’m all for workplace meet cutes and the occasional drama train, but these two were absolutely horrible for each other. It’s one thing to keep up a sneaky link on the downlow, but both of them would not shut up about it– when we were on call, of all times.”
Jacob isn’t really paying attention to the story. He’s too busy admiring the way that the sun filters in through the window and dances across Avi’s face as he talks, catching his brown eyes in a way that makes him seem nearly ethereal.
“Of course, Captain Robinson eventually finds out, because it’s not like they’ve tried to hide it. Well, he ends up walking in on them in the shower; they’re so shocked the shower head comes off the wall and he gets fucking soaked.”
Gregory chokes on his sip of water, earning him a cough in between laughs that flings droplets through the air before he buries it in his fist.
Without missing a beat, Avi says, “Yeah, just like that!”
Janine, because she truly is made for the man sitting next to her, snorts water through her nose and it goes everywhere on her lap. “Sorry, sorry,” she says once she recovers, “hang on, let me go get more napkins.”
Avi rises with her, leaving Jacob and Gregory alone at the table.
“So,” Gregory traces Janine’s path with his eyes, “this is going a lot better than last time.”
“Yeah, well, you actually got to pick your date this time,” Jacob smiles as he swirls his Dr. Pepper.
“Actually, I was talking about you and Avi. He’s a lot funnier than I remember.”
Jacob leans back against the booth cushion. “If I remember correctly, you were a little distracted before. But yes,” he steals a glance from the bar as Avi is talking to the bartender, “he’s very funny. There’s a lot of good things about him.”
“Things getting serious between you two?” He's inspecting Jacob with narrowed eyes, like if he stares hard enough he’ll be able to see through the lead walls Jacob’s put up around his thoughts.
Jacob ducks his gaze onto the fry basket. “I mean…” he gestures vaguely. They’ve managed to land on the one topic of conversation he was hoping wouldn’t come up. “If we’re talking about ‘serious’, we should talk about you and Janine. When are you proposing?”
Gregory scoffs, because that is kinda ridiculous. “Jacob, stop deflecting.”
“What? You guys are my OTP!” Gregory stares at him witheringly. Maybe he doesn’t understand the acronym. “One true–”
“I know what it means, Jacob, I hang out with you.”
He allows the clinking of silverware to fill in the silence between them, letting his stare be directed to the hand absentmindedly dipping a fry into a whirlpool of ketchup.
“I just mean that I like him for you.” He says after a moment, and Jacob knows he means more than Zach. Gregory was never the biggest fan of his ex, and has been even more forthcoming about his feelings regarding that relationship once they came to the amicable decision to remain friends at Janine’s party.
“Avi isn’t Zach,” Jacob points out, like it’s not obvious.
Gregory takes a moment to sip his water. "I know that. Do you?"
Yes; of course Jacob totally knows this. But he also remembers the version of himself that he was back when he really thought him and Zach had a future together. Dinners with Zach’s family. Harry Potter marathons on the couch. The surprise visits at school with boba.
He remembers how eager he was to return the offered I-love-you’s. How a few months into their living together he would fall asleep picturing their wedding. How he’d started budgeting his paychecks toward saving up for a ring.
He doesn’t let his mind go there with Avi.
Because Gregory’s right: Avi truly isn’t Zach. He’s a cat person. He listens to dad rock. He’s a total cinephile. He’s able to tell stories without getting totally off-track, yet somehow calls it endearing when Jacob does. He likes it when Jacob brings work drama on their dates and doesn’t let him apologize when he feels like he’s dumping a bunch of irrelevant information on him. He thinks it’s cute when Jacob has morning stubble. He’s not ashamed to introduce Jacob to his friends. He wants to go dancing– in public. The more time they spend together, the more he’s reminded that none of these qualities are remotely Zach-like. But, more importantly, they’re not Jacob-like, either.
And maybe, sometimes, before things got really bad with his ex, it felt a little like he’d been dating another version of himself. Maybe he got in too deep because Zach and him agreed on nearly everything, and he’d simply counted himself lucky to have found someone he thought would tolerate his annoying habits and quirks. Maybe he gave so much of himself to Zach because he figured Zach already had it.
Great minds and all that.
He’s taking too long to respond to the question. “Yes,” he settles, because Janine and Avi are almost back.
“Sorry that took so long,” Janine slots herself back into the booth beside Gregory, “apparently napkins are a finite resource here.”
Avi scoots next to him, replacing the arm around his shoulders. The places he touches become hot on Jacob’s skin. “So, what were you guys talking about?”
Gregory shoots him a look. “Nothing. Just…work stuff.”
–
Jacob moans at Avi’s lips on his neck, not even caring when the back of his head slams against the door to his apartment. Avi has one hand busy unlocking it and the other pulling at his hair, clawing at the nape of his neck and tugging at his roots.
They stumble inside and almost trip over his kitchen table. Avi doesn’t even lock the door behind him, too caught up in unbuckling the belt Jacob put on just for him. Avi is pushing him toward the bedroom, and they’ve played out this scenario enough times before for Jacob to make the walk backwards without having to look at where he’s going.
Jacob undoes the buttons to his EMT uniform, revealing his tanned, softly defined torso beneath, while Avi carelessly rips his sweater off for him. Once they both kick off their shoes Avi is shoving him roughly onto the bed, pressing him down with one hand as he tears off Jacob’s slacks.
He’s about to drop his shirt off his shoulders when Jacob grabs the hems of it and pulls his body back down onto his.
“You look so good in that uniform baby,” he moans breathlessly into the kiss, “let me ruin it for you, yeah?”
Avi grins at him, responding to that request by crawling on top of him and sucking at his neck. His facial hair brushes the soft skin there, and he guides Jacob’s hands to gloss over his abs, which may or may not be his new secret obsession (and which Avi has definitely picked up on). Avi’s hands are discovering his ass at the moment, and Jacob encourages this exploration by rolling his hips rhythmically. There’s teeth nipping at his neck, followed by warm licking that makes Jacob groan. He expects to wake up tomorrow covered in bruises; little trophies belonging just to him which require him to wear a turtleneck to avoid the notice of his students.
He continues his pattern down Jacob’s chest and across his pale stomach to create a treasure map of markings he can follow in the morning. Avi hooks a finger around the waistband of his boxers and pulls down. Jacob is already hard when his cock is free.
“You want me, Mr. Hill?” he growls, and God, Avi makes his name sound sexy. He’d figured out playing the teacher card got him hot and bothered on their very first night together, and he loves using it to his full advantage. Avi has ways of making him feel dirty even when checking for consent, which Jacob finds to be a true testament to his talents.
Jacob nods, desperately needing to be inside him, like, yesterday.
He pulls back, teasing. “Tell me what you want, and use your words, baby. I want to hear you say it.”
Jacob whines a little in anticipation, but he knows Avi is stalwart enough that he won’t touch him anymore if he doesn’t get what he wants. “I need you to fuck me like an animal.”
He can feel Avi’s tongue running up and down his shaft, warm spit mixing with the precum already leaking from his tip. He drags out the motion, and Jacob buries his hands in his hair so he has something to hold on to. He methodically explores each section of the area, and Jacob can hear him breathing through his nose and exhaling hot air on his crotch.
He whimpers a bit when Avi pulls back his foreskin and takes him into his mouth an inch at a time.
Avi enjoys going slowly, sadistically letting each sensation build until Jacob is practically begging him to make him cum. He wants so badly to wrap his legs around Avi’s head, but his hands are pinning his ankles to the mattress and he thinks maybe he might go insane. He flexes the muscles in his thighs, trying to get his way, but Avi is putting his upper body strength to good use. His hands squeeze his calves, and Jacob knows that means stay still.
“Please, baby…feels so good. Please, faster,” he whimpers.
Finally, finally, Avi is bobbing his head back and forth in that way he knows Jacob loves, and Jacob forgets how to speak outside of moans. He feels his tongue moving against his cock as he goes deeper, circling his shaft. He begins to feel him sucking harder, making his toes curl up in pleasure. Jacob decides that he’s going to write a book about this man, and then record it on a podcast, then read it while listening to the podcast. He wants to teach a class on Avi, to study him like a science until he’s memorized every inch of him that it's practically tattooed to the backs of his eyelids.
“Mmm, keep going, Avi, please, please…Ugh, you look so good, baby. Taking me so well– yes, yes, just like that, just like that–”
When he feels his release into the back of Avi’s throat he's seeing stars, nuclear bliss rolling through his entire body. White hot pleasure overcomes his senses, and he lets his eyes close as his abdomen tightens. All thoughts of late papers and hours of grading extra credit have disappeared, his mind only having room for the beautiful man before him, who’s crawled up on top of him again to suck on one of his now purple hickies. Jacob runs his hand over Avi’s abs as though trying to read braille, wishing he could spend the rest of his life sharing his body without the barrier of skin between them.
Once his wherewithal returns to him, he flips them over to return the favor.
–
Jacob is gently carding his hand through Avi’s thick hair, sketching spirals with his fingertips into his scalp. Their faces are close enough that he can smell the lingering bourbon from Rubenstein’s on his breath, Avi taking in the sight of Jacob’s flushed face as though in awe of the man laying beside him.
He drags his fingers lazily over Jacob’s side beneath the sheets. “Do you even know how pretty you are?” he whispers.
Jacob isn’t really sure how to respond to that, because no, he doesn’t. He feels his face involuntarily heat up, blush creeping over his cheeks at the thought that anyone could look at his…well, his everything and still say that. “You’re sweet.”
“You’re beautiful.”
He pulls his gaze away, too bashful to accept what he feels is an undeserved compliment, especially from someone as attractive as Avi.
He knows Avi is still staring at him with those soulful brown eyes of his. “It’s true. You think I’d lie about that?”
He emphasizes his words by tweaking his side, making Jacob involuntarily squeak at his touch.
“Avi…” he says, suspicion coloring his tone.
Avi raises his eyebrows as though he’s completely innocent and unaware, then suddenly spiders his fingers over Jacob’s ribs. “You’re beautiful,” he repeats, but Jacob is too busy trying to get away to pay attention.
He feels Avi dig his fingertips between his ribs and he snorts, grabbing wildly at his hand just for him to attack his other side the same way. He manages to trap one of them under his side, but that kinda makes it worse because he can only move it over one place.
“Ahahavi, stahahap,” he cackles, attempting to twist away and only succeeding in getting himself more tangled in the sheets, further preventing his escape.
Avi has an incredibly mischievous expression on his face. “Not until I hear you say it: say ‘I, Jacob Hill, am beautiful.’”
He rolls his eyes in between laughs. “W-what? I’m not–” Avi skitters his evil fingers over Jacob’s stomach and he immediately caves, “Okayokayokay, ahaha, I-I, Jacob Hill, ahaham beautiful.”
He curls into Avi’s arms in a fit of giggles, and Avi finally relents. He allows Jacob to relax his head on his chest as he catches his breath. Avi goes back to drawing his fingers up and down his side in the embrace, Jacob snickering occasionally at the touch.
“I love your laugh,” he says softly.
And though that’s all he says, Jacob suddenly feels like the brakes in his car have stopped working. He knows where this conversation is going, knows where this relationship is going, and he knows he can’t let it happen. He’s been down this road before; someone always gets hurt in the crash.
He stiffens, and he’s sure Avi feels it based on the way he’s looking at him now. Trepidation, vulnerability, so clear in his expression, and no, Jacob can not let this happen. Not again. His heart begins pounding in his chest, anxiety shooting though him at the very real prospect that he’s about to make a giant mistake.
Because if Avi says what he’s about to say, Jacob knows he’ll say it back.
“Jacob? Are you okay?” He noticed. He’s concerned. Of course he is.
He’s pulling away, desperately searching for an excuse to get out of this before he’s in way over his head. He tosses the sheets aside and does his best to avoid making eye contact.
“I, um, I just remembered,” he sputters, “I forgot to– to input my scores from my unit test. They’re due tomorrow– well, today. I-I need my laptop, and it’s at home.” He’s up now, searching for his clothes as fast as he can that managed to get scattered across the room.
He can feel Avi’s gaze following him as he stumbles around. “You need to do this now. At 2:00 in the morning?”
“I– um, yes. New district policy.” He’s pulling on his pants as fast as he can and praying Avi will stop pressing because that’s about as much as he’s got for an explanation. He’d thought he had more time; thought they were on the same page about this. If he had any guts at all he would stop hunting wildly for his stuff and just explain to Avi exactly what he wants, except he’s not really sure what that even is. But he knows that whatever Avi thinks he feels, trusting Jacob with it will only cause him pain. Zach is proof of that enough.
He slips on a sock as he’s pulling his sweater back over his head, landing hard on his ass. “I’m okay!” he says before Avi can even ask, and…Avi is getting dressed now, too. “Wait, what are you doing?”
He helps him back to his feet. “What does it look like? I’m driving you home.”
Why, why, why did he decide to hook up with the most chivalrous man in Philly? Jacob seriously is not that lucky. And yes, Avi offering to drive him back is so amazingly sweet of him and frankly undeserved, but it also means potentially having to continue their previous conversation in the car and he really cannot do that right now.
“No, it’s okay, I’ll call an Uber–”
“Jacob, it’s late and that’s not safe,” he argues, following him into the living room.
“Don’t you have to be at the firehouse in, like, four hours?” he asks, and hey, yeah, that’s a good point.
Avi is grabbing his keys from where he threw them earlier on the kitchen table. “I’m already up. And I can sleep at work.”
Okay. So maybe those are also valid points, but still. He stops moving around like a maniac for a minute and does his best to stare him down without breaking.
“Avi, please. I’ll be fine. Here, I can share my location with you so you know when I’m home.”
Those deep brown irises are boring straight into his soul, doubtful and nervous. Eternally caring and kind, even when faced with a blatantly flimsy lie. There’s no way he doesn’t know something’s up, which only gives Jacob a stronger motivation to get the hell out of here.
“...Okay,” he begins, and Jacob immediately brushes past him to open the door. “But text me when you’re back anyway, alright? You can’t be too careful on the road at night.”
Jacob smiles at him, because even though he’s the one abruptly leaving to avoid…whatever it is that’s wrong with him, the chronic people-pleaser in him still wants to assure Avi that yes, things will be fine. Because things are fine. Totally. As long as absolutely nothing changes.
Before he’s fully out the door, though, Avi catches his wrist. He pauses for a moment, thinking, then plants a small kiss in the center of Jacob’s forehead. One gesture and the world stops spinning. Jacob just…stares– and is he melting? He might be melting.
Then Avi drops his hand, and smiles that goofy, crooked smile. “Your sweater is inside out.”
Jacob looks down, and yup, he’s right. But Avi closes the door, so it’s too late to change now– his sweater or his mind.