Work Text:
One
Emily had always loved taking photos.
For her 14th birthday, her parents bought her a Nikon FA. She knew it was mostly her father’s doing, that he paid more attention to her interests than her mother did, and she loved it. She took photos at every given opportunity, forced the few friends to pose for pictures because it was something tangible she’d remember them by when she inevitably had to move and start all over again. She did the same with her parents - would make them stand together so she could capture one moment in time, so she could look at it again when her films were developed, her fingers tracing over her parent's smiles as she pretended that was what their life was like all the time.
Her father’s death just before her 15th birthday only cemented her love of photography. After his funeral, when she’d spent the day standing next to her mother and accepted sympathy from people she’d never met, she’d sat on her bed and looked at pictures of him. She held them so tightly she’d creased them, desperate to hold on to what she had left of her father.
She was determined after that to take photos of everything. The following summer, John and Matthew both teased her whenever she pulled her camera out, all three of them unaware of what lay ahead for them as they posed together in Rome, all skipping school for a day as they explored the city she would one day look back on and not be able to think of its beauty, only the pain it had caused her.
She always made sure she had her camera with her when she went anywhere that wasn’t work. She’d upgraded several times over the years, always keen to make sure she had the best camera she possibly could so she could capture all of the important moments. The weight of it and all it represented is heavy in her purse as she waits outside of Aaron’s apartment, a gift bag stuffed full of toys and games for Jack in her other hand. She knew her boss turned friend would say she’d bought Jack too much, his smile and kind and sad as he insisted she only had to get him one thing, but she hadn’t been able to help herself.
It was his first Christmas without his mother after all. She knew Aaron was struggling, that he was doing his best to make a good Christmas for his son, but Haley’s death was still fresh. A date they’d never forget nestled in amongst his and Jack’s birthdays and the holidays. She hated it for them, hated that they’d always have sadness and loss in the corners of everything they did, so she was trying to help where she could. Last weekend she’d gone tree shopping with them, her hand tight around Jack’s as they chose the perfect one, Aaron just behind them as he watched them closely. She’d left them to decorate it themselves, had smiled and shook her head when Aaron asked if she wanted to stay to help, even though she did, because she knew it was important they figured out some traditions on their own.
She fixes a smile on her face when the door opens, and she feels a familiar ache in her heart when Aaron’s eyes meet hers, a sadness that seems to chase him everywhere these days written across his face before he can hide it from her. Somewhere along the way, she’d started to think of him as one of her closest friends, if not her closest one. If she was honest with herself, she knew it ran deeper than that, that her feelings for him edged a little too close to love. It was easy to ignore when he was like this, and she could convince herself that her desire to look after him and his little boy came just from friendship - not the love that rolled through her gut whenever she looked at them both.
“Hi,” she says, smiling softly as she lifts the gift bag to show him, “I thought I’d bring over Jack’s Christmas gifts before it was too late.”
His eyes go wide when he looks at the bag and he steps back, “You didn’t have to get him so much.”
She chuckles as she walks past him into his apartment, “There’s a couple of things in here for you too if that makes you feel better.”
He shakes his head at her, “Well, we’d better get them under the tree,” he says, “He’s just getting ready for bed - prepare yourself to be talked into reading him a story when he realises you’re here.”
“You know I love that.” She smiles and nods, and her smile gets wider when she looks at the tree. Jack’s involvement in the decorating was obvious - the ornaments were unevenly spaced out, most of them gathered in one place at about eye level for the four-year-old. Emily was used to perfectly decorated trees. Her mother would always have professional decorators and she wasn’t allowed to help even when she was small and desperate to. She loved that Aaron hadn’t rearranged anything, that he’d left it just as Jack had done it, his love for his son as bright and warm as the lights he’d wrapped around the tree.
Aaron clears his throat, “I know it’s not perfect-”
“No,” she says, turning to smile at him as she starts to place her gifts for them under the tree, “It is perfect.”
They stare at each other for a moment, his smile real and soft, and not for the first time she finds herself thinking that maybe, just maybe, he may feel the same way about her as she feels about him. The moment is fleeting, torn open by Jack running down the hallway, almost slipping on the hardwood in his Christmas footie pjyamas.
“Emmy!”
She stands up straight and opens her arms to him, smiling as he runs at her, his arms tight around her neck as she lifts him and rests him on her hip.
“Hi kiddo,” she says, stamping a kiss against his cheek, doing it again when he giggles, “I was just telling your Dad about how much I love your tree.”
“It’s pretty!” He exclaims, “Just like you.”
She isn’t sure why she blushes, why the casual compliment from the little boy in her arms has warmth spreading through her as she kisses his kiss cheek again, “Thanks, Jack.”
“It’s true,” he says, furrowing his brows, “Daddy said so too-”
“Okay, buddy,” Aaron says, scooping Jack into his arms, his eyes wide and his cheeks a beautiful shade of pink as he cuts his son off, “Emily said she’d love to read you a story before you go to bed.”
She can’t but smile as she steps back, her eyes fixed on them and the tree lighting them up from behind. Matching smiles on their faces and obvious happiness despite everything they’d survived. She feels a familar pull towards her purse, her camera all but calling out to her, and she sinks her teeth into her lower lip.
“Wait there one second,” she says, digging through her purse where she’d dumped it on the couch, “I’ve got to get a picture of this.”
“You and your camera,” Aaron says, his tone something devastatingly close to loving, and she playfully narrows her eyes at him.
“Just hold still,” she replies, switching her camera on as she stands just a few feet away from them, “Smile.”
Jack smiles as widely as he can, his arms wrapped tightly around Aaron’s neck. Aaron smiles too, a sadness to it that she knows will be pressed into the picture itself. She looks at the small digital screen as the photo flashes up on it and then shows them as she walks over, smiling as Jack leans into her, his cheek against hers as he tries to get a closer look.
“Can you read me a story now?”
She chuckles and turns her head to kiss his cheek, “Of course,” she replies as she puts the camera back in her bag and then she turns to them, “Shall we let Daddy pick the book this time?”
Jack nods enthusiastically, “Yeah, but you still have to read it. You do the voices better than he does.”
She looks over at Aaron and smiles when their eyes meet, “You heard the boy.”
She gets the picture printed and she puts it in a frame. She wraps it and places it on Aaron’s desk in the New Year, a note stuck to it that she’d one day find in her desk drawer. A desk that used to be his.
This was too cute not to print. It reminded me of all the good that can exist with the bad, and I hope it does the same for you.
Emily x
___
Two
The weight of everything she was yet to say was heavy on her shoulders.
She stays on the outskirts of the celebration, watching her friends - her family - all have fun. Joy and wine flowing amongst them all as they celebrate JJ and Will’s wedding. Somehow, the decision she’d made, the decision to leave even though she’s not entirely sure she ever truly came back, doesn’t make her feel any lighter. It was a relief. She could breathe easier now than she had in weeks, Clyde’s offer as timely as it had been tempting. But she didn’t feel lighter.
She would be leaving so much behind. A life she could have had if she’d just let herself in the rearview mirror as she once again ran away from everything she knew.
She looks over at Aaron and Beth when she hears the other woman’s laugh and it makes her tense, anger and sadness she knows she has no right to feel coursing through her at the sight of them together. Emily could no longer deny that she was in love with Aaron. It was something she’d come to terms with a long time ago and the saddest part, the thing that kept her up at night, was that she knew he loved her too.
There was a moment, nestled in between him starting to move forward after Haley's death and Ian coming back to tear her life apart, when they almost happened. He’d kissed her, the only kiss they had ever shared, and asked her on a date. She’d said yes, not having to think about it for a second, and she’d driven home feeling lighter and happier than she had in years. The next day, Sean McAllister called her and nothing was ever the same.
When she came home, they never spoke about it. She wasn’t ready and he knew that because he knew her, and when she told him one night that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready she saw his heartbreak. She hated herself for doing it to him, but in the long run it was kinder. After everything he’d been through he deserved someone with less baggage, someone less complicated.
Someone like Beth.
It didn’t make it hurt any less to see them together. Somehow, she thinks it hurts more because it was of her own design. If she’d never told him to move on, if she hadn’t insisted that he did, she knew he wouldn’t have.
She blows out a slow breath and walks over to the bar. She grabs a glass of champagne and turns to watch everyone, her eyes always wandering back to Beth and Aaron. She watches as he holds her close and laughs, the ghost of his palm scalding on her back from when they’d danced as she watches him hold Beth in the same way.
“You should tell him how you feel.”
She jumps as she turns to look at Dave and she chuckles dryly, “I need to get you a bell or something.”
“I’m serious, Bella. If he knew you still felt that way, he’d never let you leave. And he certainly wouldn’t still be with Beth.”
She hums sadly, “That’s why he can’t know.”
Dave shakes his head, “Emily-”
“Dave, please,” she says, shaking her head at him as she cuts him off, “He deserves more than I can give him. And…I’m not sure if this place could ever be home to me now even if he was okay with that,” she reaches over and squeezes his arm, “It’s easier this way.”
“For who?”
She shrugs and laughs humourlessly, “I haven’t quite figured that part out yet.”
Their conversation is cut off as Jack runs towards them, his hand wrapping around hers as he starts to tug her back towards the dance floor, “Dance with me, Emmy.”
She smiles, hoping the little boy can’t see through the sheen of it, that he can’t see her broken heart underneath, “I can never say no to you, sweetheart.”
She picks him up, groaning as she wonders when he got so big, and she throws Aaron a smile as they end up next to him and Beth. She dances with Jack, smiling and listening to everything he tells her, the little boy talking a mile a minute as he thrives on the excitement of the day.
Eventually, she slips into the house for a break, to give herself a moment to gather herself, and she sees her purse where she’d left it on Dave’s kitchen counter. She roots through it and grabs her camera, the weight of it heavier than it ever had been as she decided to take the last set of pictures she’d have as someone who lived here, who was part of the day-to-day lives of the people she thought of as her family.
Going forward, she’d be a visitor, and that hurt more than she ever thought possible.
She walks around Dave’s backyard and she takes pictures of everyone. Of JJ and Will dancing, Henry squished between them. Of Dave and Derek sneaking cigars, a moment they thought they’d get away with captured forever.
She takes a picture of Jack and Aaron, the young boy stood in front of his father, his smile full of gaps from where he’d recently lost a couple of his teeth. Aaron’s hands are on his shoulders as he almost physically holds him in place, Jack’s excitement close to palpable still. He runs away the moment Aaron lets go, calling out for JJ as he asks if he can play with Henry.
Emily smiles at Aaron and presses a couple of buttons on her camera, stepping towards him so she can show him the photo, “It’s a good one.”
He leans in, the smell of his cologne almost overwhelming, tears pressing at the back of her eyes as she swallows thickly, the scent of him something that represented missed opportunities, and the life she could have allowed herself.
“Oh, I love that one,” he says, his breath skipping over her cheek before he pulls back, “When you get a chance can you send it to me? I don’t have many photos of just the two of us.”
“Of course,” she says, smiling tightly as she switches the camera off, “When I get home later I’ll put them all on my computer and email it to you.”
He watches her carefully, and she’s not sure how to feel about how exposed she is, how well he knows her. There was a painful beauty in being known entirely by someone who you couldn’t have.
“Em-”
“Tomorrow,” she promises him, her smile tighter as she reaches out and squeezes his arm, Beth’s curious gaze from a few feet away burning the back of her neck, “I promise.”
He nods, concern sparkling in his eyes like the flecks of gold in his irises that she’d fallen in love with a long time ago, “It’s a date,” he says, repeating the words she’d said just a few hours ago.
“Yeah,” she replies, swallowing thickly, “It’s a date.”
She prints herself a copy of the photo of him and Jack when she’s in London. She keeps it on her mantle amongst other photos of the team despite the ache she feels whenever she sees it. Its presence a penance of some sort for the decisions she’d made that had meant she never got to have Aaron, and the little boy she loved more than life itself, in the way she wanted to.
___
Three
Her doctor was insistent that she get out of her apartment at least once a day. She’s furious about it, mumbling to herself as she walks around her local park, her hands in her pockets as she tries to keep them warm, but she does it anyway. Desperate to make sure she gets back to full strength after everything that had happened.
Peter Lewis had taken so much from her already, he wasn’t going to take her sanity from her too.
In the three months since the car crash, since he’d tortured her for information she’d have died to protect, she’d struggled to leave her apartment. She felt equally trapped and terrified to leave, the outside world as big as it had ever been as she looked over her shoulder for a man that was dead whenever she stepped outside. She was used to being haunted, to being chased by the ghost of a man who had tried to kill her, but she’d forgotten what it felt like when it was fresh. How it felt when her body still ached if she moved a little too quickly when she jumped at an unexpected sound.
She sighs to herself as she checks her watch, and she grumbles when she realises she’s only been walking for 20 minutes. She spots a nearby bench and walks over to sit down. She blows out a slow breath as she closes her eyes, making sure she’s purposeful as she breathes back in, fresh air and feeling she always associated with fall filling her lungs.
“Emily?”
She opens her eyes, her breath turning into a gasp at the unexpected voice, one she hadn’t heard in too long. One she hadn’t expected to hear ever again. She stands up, her eyebrows furrowed as she walks towards him, stopping just short of him just in case he disappears.
“Aaron?” She chokes on a laugh, suddenly aware of her outfit made up of an old pair of leggings and her baggiest sweater covered by her jacket, “What…what are you doing here?”
He smiles at her and nods behind him, “Jack wanted to come and see his grandfather and Jess, so we came back. I’m surprised Dave didn’t say anything, I told him we were in town.”
She rolls her eyes as she thinks of their friend and his recommendation that she walk in this park this weekend, and she makes a mental note to tell him off for meddling later. She
looks in the direction Aaron had nodded towards and she gasps, unsure how the tall gangly pre-teen standing next to Jessica could possibly be the little boy she’d once read bedtime stories to, “Wow, he’s…really grown up.”
“Yeah,” he replies, his smile wistful and sad as she look at her, “He’ll be taller than me I think,” he says, his eyes sparking, “He’s already taller than you.”
She laughs, and for a moment it’s like no time has passed at all. Like they were still almost a decade younger and talking around their feelings for each other, “I’m not that much shorter than you.”
“You are when you aren’t wearing those boots you run around in,” he quips, his smile as gorgeous as she’d always remembered, “I…I heard about everything that happened.”
She chokes on a dry laugh. During the all too brief conversation they’d had when they called to say that Lewis was dead, she’d purposely left out parts of it. Purposely not told him about what had happened to her in the name of protecting him and his son. She didn’t want a prize for it, didn’t want recognition, she just wanted what she’d always wanted - for him and Jack to be safe and happy.
“And how did you hear about that?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at him. He smiles again, something she never remembered him doing quite so much, and he shrugs.
“A little bird told me.”
She hums, “Is this little bird Italian and too nosey for his own good?”
He laughs, “Something like that,” he replies, and his smile fades, “Emily-”
“You don’t have to thank me,” she says, her arms tight over her chest as she tries to hold herself together, “It’s what you and I do for each other,” she smiles sadly, “We keep each other safe.”
Aaron nods, his hands in tight fists by his sides as he tries to stop himself from reaching out for her. He’s nervous. Anxious in a way she hasn’t seen in years. Since he’d stood in the doorway of his apartment one evening what felt like a lifetime ago as he stamped a kiss against her lips, his request that she went on a date with him still echoing around them. It makes hope she hasn’t felt in years spark in her gut, her blood thrumming with it as she thinks that maybe, this time, she’ll allow herself to have what she’d always wanted.
“At least let me buy you dinner?” He says, trying and failing to act casual, and she couldn’t stop the smile that spreads across her face if she wanted to. She presses her lips together and sighs, the reality that he was just visiting stamping out any hope.
“Aaron, I…I can’t-”
“I’m assuming since Dave didn’t tell you I was in town, that he didn’t tell you we’re moving back here.” He says casually, as if it wasn’t life-changing, heart-healing, stuff that once again shifts her world on its axis. Her eyes go wide and he chuckles, nervously scratching the back of his head, “Don’t worry, your job is safe. I’m not coming back to the FBI.”
She shakes her head, not having even thought about work, still overwhelmed by the thought that she was getting him back. She looks over at Jack, smiling as she watches him with Roy and Jessica.
“You’re staying?”
Aaron nods, stepping closer to her, closing the gap they’d both built over the years. He reaches for her hand and squeezes, their fingers pressed together in a silent promise that they’d talk about everything. That they’d finally get it all figured out.
“I’m staying.”
She squeezes his hand tightly, imprints the feeling of being able to do so to memory, the press of his skin against hers something she only had hazy memories of from when he’d visited her in hospital. The dirt from where they’d buried her still clinging to the cuffs of his pants as he sat next to her bed and told her he’d catch Ian and bring her home. It’s how she knows this is real, that she won’t wake up on her couch having fallen asleep.
In her dreams, she’d never been able to recreate his impossible warmth.
“Okay,” she says, smiling when he looks confused, her teeth sinking into the inside of her cheek as she tries to contain her smile at least a little, “I’ll to dinner with you.”
He smiles and pulls her into a hug she gladly returns, her cheek against his chest for a moment before he pulls back. He kisses her cheek, and she turns her head, letting his lips catch the corner of hers before she steps back, a giddiness in her veins she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager and untouched by the pain that love could bring.
“It’s a date,” she says, her smile getting wider as his does at the throwback to a conversation they’d had so long ago.
“It’s a date,” he repeats, looking over his shoulder to his son, “I should get back. He wanted to come over and say hi, but things with Roy are…”
“It’s okay,” she replies, “We have time.”
He nods, “We do,” he squeezes her hand one more time and lets go, “I’ll call you later so we can plan dinner?”
“My number is the same,” she replies, hesitant to turn away, worried he’d disappear if she did, “I’ll speak to you later?
“Later,” he promises, and he winks at her before he turns away. She watches him go, shock and awe still thrumming under her skin, and she sighs.
She digs her phone out of her pocket and takes a picture of Aaron and Jack talking to each other in the distance, smiling as she realises Aaron was right - that Jack is already almost as tall as him. She sends it to Dave along with a message, and she takes one last look at Aaron and Jack before she turns to head home, content for the first time in a long time to believe that things would work out.
Look who I just so happened to walk into at the park. Your meddling is second to none, old man.
She laughs when she gets a response almost immediately, and she shakes her head at her friend before she puts her phone back in her pocket.
Just make sure you remember to thank me at your wedding.
___
Four
She’s woken up by a soft kiss against her cheek and a gentle hand drawing circles on her back. She groans, pressing her face into her pillow and she grumbles as Aaron laughs at her.
“Wake up birthday girl,” he says, his voice raspy and gorgeous and hers. She opens one eye and frowns at him, the bite to it lost as he smiles at her.
“I haven’t been a girl in a long time, honey,” she says, smiling as he leans in to kiss her. Her smile turns curious as she lays her head back on her pillow, “Have you been eating pancake batter?”
He smiles and encourages her closer, her arms around his waist as she rests her head on his chest, “You’ll have to get out of bed to find out.”
She hums and turns her head to kiss his chest, “In a minute,” she says, smothering a yawn against his t-shirt, the slight spatter of flour standing out against it making her smile, “I want to lay here for a little bit first.”
Aaron kisses the top of her head, “Whatever you want, sweetheart. It’s your birthday.”
There were times when she still couldn’t believe she had this. That she had him. That they had each other. Even now, almost two years since they’d first walked into each other in the park, it still felt surreal sometimes. They’d fallen into the relationship she thinks they should have always had easily. Their first date had lasted almost 48 hours. They’d gone for dinner and then he’d come back to hers and stayed the entire weekend, his smile wry and soft as he explained Jack was with Jessica, and had told him not to come back until Emily was officially his girlfriend.
They’d told each other they loved each other that weekend. Had laid in amongst her soft sheets, hands trailing across skin they’d imagined for years. It was fast, fast in a way she would have been uncomfortable with if it was anyone else, but it felt right.
It felt like everything they’d been walking towards for years.
They lived together in a house they’d chosen between the three of them - Jack just a few paces behind them as he quipped that at least he’d be less likely to walk in on them making out if they had more room than in their old apartment. He was 14 now and she was proud of him, prouder than she thought she had any real right to be. He was Aaron through and through. He was kind and smart, and reserved in a way she found nothing short of adorable, even if he would frown at her if she ever told him that.
She loved them both, and they both loved her. There were times when she wished she’d had more time with them, the reality that if she’d allowed herself to love Aaron years ago they could have had more. That there could be little girls and boys that were half him and half her. Kids she never knew the names or faces of who would visit her dreams. She’d drown in the could have beens sometimes, but then Jack would make her laugh, or she’d snuggle up against Aaron in bed and she’d remember what she did have - a life she’d once convinced herself she didn’t deserve.
“What do you want to do today?” Aaron asks as he trails his fingers up and down her arm. She tilts her head to look at him and stamps her lips against his, her hand on his cheek as she holds him in place.
“I just want to hang out with you and Jack,” she says, kissing him again, her smile wide as she pulls back, “And maybe by starting with those pancakes you two are making me.”
He chuckles and kisses her forehead, “Speaking of the pancakes - Jack sent me up here because they are almost ready.”
She smiles widely, “He’s in charge today, huh?”
“He insisted,” Aaron says, kissing her once more before he unwraps himself from around her so they can both get out of bed, “He barely let me help.”
She shrugs his robe over her shoulders and ties it around her waist, grabbing her phone from the nightstand to drop it into the robe's pockets before she walks towards him. She takes a moment to breathe in his scent on the fluffy soft material, humming contentedly when he wraps his arms around her, letting her breathe him in from the source.
“I love you,” she says, suddenly overwhelmed by it as she looks up at him. She runs her fingers through his hair, smiling at the salt and pepper at his temples, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, sweetheart,” he replies, his hand on her lower back as he tugs her closer, “I’m glad we made it here.”
“Me too,” she replies, stamping her lips against his. The kiss is lost to a laugh as Jack yells up the stairs, an irritated tone to his voice that only a teenager could manage.
“Dad, Emily, the pancakes are ready. Stop making out and come downstairs.”
Emily chuckles and she wraps both of her arms around one of Aaron’s as they walk out of their bedroom, “He’s so stern,” she says, smiling up at her boyfriend as they head down the stairs, “I wonder where he gets it from.”
“It’s a mystery,” Aaron deadpans before winking at her as they walk into the kitchen. He smiles as she gasps at the spread of food on the kitchen island, the marble of it almost entirely covered in plates of pancakes, bacon, pastries and fruit. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
She smiles at him, but is pulled into a hug by Jack before she can say anything else, and she hugs him back immediately.
“Happy birthday, Emily.”
“Thanks, kiddo,” she replies, kissing his cheek before she pulls back, smiling at the spread of food in front of her, “You’ve both been busy.”
“We wanted to do all your favourites,” Jack says, “Dad even went out first thing this morning to that bakery you like.”
She turns to her boyfriend, her smile so wide her cheeks ached with it, “That’s all the way across town.”
He shrugs like it doesn’t mean everything that he did that for her, “It’s your birthday.”
She shakes her head lovingly at him and then back at all the food, “Well, we should get started,” she says, digging through the pocket of Aaron’s robe to grab her phone, “But I want a picture of you with you both with it all first.”
Jack groans and rolls his eyes, “But Emily-”
“There’s no point in arguing with her, buddy,” Aaron says, smiling as he wraps his arm around his son’s shoulders, “The sooner we let her take the photo, the sooner we can eat.”
Jack sighs but nods in agreement, a smile painted across his face as Emily takes the picture. She sends it to the BAU group chat, knowing they’d get a kick out of seeing Aaron so casual, and then she slips her phone back into her pocket.
She had breakfast with her boys to enjoy.
___
Five
It had been, without a doubt, the happiest day of her life.
She sighs contently as she sits down, looking around the backyard she’d once broken her own heart in at JJ’s wedding. Emily wished she could go back and tell herself that it would all work out in the end, that she’d take the time she needed to heal, that she’d almost forget this was something she’d ever wanted, but that she’d eventually get it all.
She smiles as her husband walks towards her, his bowtie he’d insisted on how undone and hanging loose around his unbuttoned collar. He sits next to her and she kisses him as soon as he’s close enough, unable to get enough of him today of all days.
“Hey handsome,” she murmurs against his lips, her hand on his cheek as she holds him in place.
“Hi,” he replies, smiling so widely her lips only catch the corners of his, “How are you feeling?”
She hums and rests her head on his shoulder, looking back out at their guests, members of the BAU - past and present - all dancing and laughing together, “I’m perfect.”
He chuckles and kisses her cheeks, “I’ve been telling you that for years. Now you believe me.”
She rolls her eyes at him, “You’re cheesy.”
“I’m allowed to be on our wedding day.”
She smiles, completely unable to stop herself, and she leans in to kiss him again, “Okay, I’ll let it go today,” she hums contentedly against his lips, “Today was…”
She drifts off, entirely unsure how to put it into words, how to explain even after all this time how she felt about him. But he knows, because of course he does, and he simply reaches for her hand, his fingers tangled through hers as he lifts their joint hands to kiss her knuckles.
“I know, baby,” he says, “I know.”
“I…” she clears her throat, not wanting to cry, again, today, “I’m so glad we made it here.”
Aaron wraps his arm around her shoulders and holds her close, his lips against her forehead as he presses love and comfort in equal measure against her skin, “Me too, sweetheart. I never doubted we would.”
She scoffs as she pulls back to look at him, her eyebrow raised and her eyes full of love and mirth, “Really? Even when we lived on different continents, were in relationships with other people and you were in hiding?”
He shrugs, his smile soft and entirely hers, a spark in his eyes she wouldn’t have thought he was capable of when they first met, “Even then.”
She rolls her eyes at him and captures his chin in her hand, tugging him in for a kiss, “You’re a ridiculous man, Aaron Hotchner,” she kisses him again, “But you’re my ridiculous man.”
“Your’s forever,” he says, rubbing his nose against hers, and she nods, her lungs stuffed full of love for him and their life together.
“Mine forever.”
They sit there for a moment, their foreheads pressed together as they soak each other in, but they are interrupted by a loud laugh from JJ and Penelope reminding them that they aren’t alone.
“Later?” Aaron says, and she nods, her fingers tangled around his loose bow tie.
“Later,” she confirms, and she smiles at him, “I need to get a picture of you and Jack before you lose any more of your tux, ” she says tugging at the bow tie again, her smile getting wider at his loving eye roll.
“I knew you’d say that,” he says, standing up and beckoning over his son. Jack runs over immediately, none of the usual arguing about taking a picture anywhere to be found, and the matching mischievous smiles on his and Aaron’s faces make her narrow her eyes.
“What are you two up to?”
“Nothing, sweetheart,” Aaron says, his hands in his pockets as he stands next to Jack, “Take your photo.”
She hums, not believing him for a second, but she picks her phone up from the table regardless, her focus briefly on it as she opens up the camera app. When she looks back up at them she laughs loudly, shaking her head at the sight of them with their shirts now unbuttoned. They were each wearing a t-shirt with a different photo print screened on it - Jack’s with the one she’d taken of them in front of the Christmas tree years ago, and Aaron’s with the one from JJ’s wedding in this very place. She shakes her head as she stands up, already taking photos of them, wanting as many of this moment as she could possibly have.
“You two are lucky I love you,” she says, pretending to grumble in a way they all know is fake.
“We really are, sweetheart,” Aaron says, winking at her when Jack groans with embarrassed disgust, “We really are.”
___
+ One
She makes sure she has her phone with her several times before they leave the house. She simply glares at her husband when he smiles at her as he tells her she’s more likely to leave it behind if she keeps taking it out of her purse to check it is there. He kisses her in response, his lips against her cheek and then her lips as he tells her it would be fine, that she had her phone and he had his, and that he had the mobile battery pack just in case she took enough photos she ran out of battery.
She doesn’t tell him that she saw him making sure he had enough storage on his phone last night, doesn’t remind him that they’d sat up in bed, her cheek against his shoulder as they scrolled through all the photos of Jack in his favourites folder. She simply lets him make gentle fun of her, well aware that focusing on lovingly teasing his wife was a way of distracting him from what was happening today, another milestone in Jack’s life that seemed to be slipping through their fingers.
It was, after all, his son’s high school graduation.
Jack had looked achingly grown up when he’d left the house that morning. He’d asked if he could head there with his friends, if they could meet him there and be on their best behaviour, and neither one of them had the heart to say no. Emily kept shifting between being sad about the boy she loved as her own becoming a man, and worrying about her husband, the same melancholy in his smile that he’d have every time he was reminded Jack was growing up.
Every time he was reminded of all the things that Haley missed out on.
Even now, she knew that his guilt lingered. That he could never entirely shake off the thought that he’d been responsible for Haley’s head and for costing his son his mother. Emily had spent years doing everything she could assuring him that it wasn’t the case, that he’d done what Haley had asked - that he’d raised their son with love and joy. Sometimes, all she could do was hold him close, hug his head to her chest and remind him of everything he did have. Of the life they’d built together for them and Jack, and the promises he’d kept to help make that happen.
She squeezes his hand when they arrive at the ceremony, and she throws him a wink when he smiles down at her.
“You ready?” She asks, and he blows out a shaky breath, leaning down to kiss her cheek as they look for their seats. She chuckles and squeezes his hand, throwing a look at Jack in his seat amongst all the other graduates, her smile only getting wider when he shakes his head at them, “I think PDA counts as not being on our best behaviour.”
Aaron laughs and waves at his son, his smile getting wider when Jack shakes his head, the smile on his face letting them both know he wasn’t actually embarrassed by them. He finds their seats, smiling as Jessica waves them over to their spot. “We should sit down.”
She keeps both of her hands wrapped around Aaron’s throughout the ceremony, only disconnecting one of them from him when it’s Jack’s turn to walk across the stage so she can take photos on her phone. When they find him afterwards, she stands back as Aaron pulls Jack into a hug, one he returns gratefully, and she sneaks a few photos of that moment too, knowing she’d want to return to it again and again on the bad days.
“Okay,” she says, getting their attention and making her look at them. She smiles when Jack rolls his eyes, “Just play ball for a few seconds and then I’ll stop.”
Jack chuckles and rolls his eyes again, a trait Aaron always liked to say he’d picked up from her, “Mom, give the phone to Aunt Jess, you need to be in the picture.”
It had been a few years since he’d started to call her mom. Since Emily had given way to the name she never thought she’d get to have. It had happened overnight, one day he called her the name he always had and the next she was his mom. Aaron had told her afterwards that Jack had been toying with the idea for a long time, that he’d been unsure how to broach it because he didn’t want to upset anyone. In the end, Roy’s passing had been the last push he’d needed, the death of his grandfather - and the bitterness towards Aaron that had died with him - letting Jack finally do what he’d wanted to do for years.
He always said he was lucky enough to have two moms - one who’d loved him when he was small, and one who loved him now, who had helped shape him into the man he was becoming.
Emily smiles and turns to Jess, unsurprised to find her already holding out her hand for her phone, “Thanks.”
She stands in between Jack and Aaron, both of them towering over her, and she wraps her arms around them both.
“Now, I know you’re not used to being on this side of the camera,” Aaron jokes, his smile only getting wider when she pinches his side, “So make sure you smile.”
She shakes her head as Jack laughs from her other side, and she looks at the camera, smiling as Aaron squeezes her waist, his thumb tracing back and forth over her hip. A small show of his love for her, a much needed reminder of everything she had now, of the fact it was real, as she stood between her husband and her son. “Okay,” Jess says, holding up Emily’s phone to take the picture, “Smile.”
She smiles, because what else could she do when she was this happy.