Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Catra was stargazing again. With nothing but clones on board, socializing got boring quick. They had no favorites, no hobbies, and no opinions of their own; it was like talking to a bag of marbles, if each marble had undying loyalty to Prime. She couldn’t even prank them properly. As their Captain, the clones would never dream of reprimanding her, so they usually just stood there, not knowing how to react. Catra found out quick that laughs don’t count for much when you have to ask for them.

After weeks of travel aboard what was essentially a one-person ship, Catra’s boredom drove her to embarrassing lengths. She memorized the layouts of every room on the ship, she spent too much time in the bridge just to see numbers on screens, she even found herself wanting to read, not that they carried any books on board. 

The boredom got so much that she thought it might kill her. So she stood in front of her window, looked out at the stars, and began to count. It was the only thing she knew wouldn’t run out. The task almost seemed impossible, counting the stars in the sky. She kept losing her place or losing count, so she’d start over and do it all again. It was that or think about her regrets, but she’d have even more trouble counting those. 

She was almost at four-thousand when she heard the knock. She was nowhere near her record, so she stopped for now. 

“Come in,” she said. Before, the clone wouldn’t have waited for an answer, or even knocked, but all it took was one time getting caught changing to get that to stop. 

“Captain.” The clone saluted as the door slid open. This one in particular had a different insignia on his uniform, to signify his position as Catra’s second in command. “I have the status report from our most recent drone sweep.”

“Go on.” Catra crossed her arms.

“Signs of life reported on the ice moon of Cyren-6. Potential rebel activity.”

“Really?” Catra wasn’t convinced. “Like the last three barren moons?”

“There is always a chance for rebel engagements, no matter the conditions. All that we do, no matter how trivial it may seem, is for-”

“For the glory of Prime, I get it.” Catra had reached the same dead end in countless interactions already. “What makes this moon so special?”

“Shortly after reporting on these signs of life, our communications went dead,” Number Two said. “Like the drone was deactivated somehow. We suspect said lifeforms tampered with or destroyed it.”

They hadn’t seen actual rebels in months and even then, it was never anything army-sized, not since Etheria. “When do we get there?” Catra asked. 

“We will arrive within the day cycle. But you are advised to stay on board while we-”

“No. No way. I’m going.” She was firm enough for Two to raise his eyebrow in confusion, so she added afterwards, “To properly spread the glory of Prime. And all that.”

Two’s face shifted slowly from conflicted blank back to regular blank. “For the glory of Prime,” he repeated. Then he was gone. 

Catra turned back to the window. Rebels. Her heart was racing just from the thought. 

Finally, something exciting. 

——————

The cold on Cyren-6 was unbearable. Or it would have been if it weren’t for the temperature regulator in Catra’s suit. She expected the cold suit to look a lot different, but on hindsight it made sense it was mostly the same design; there’s not much colder than the vacuum of space. The only difference was the gloves had retractable claws and the feet switched between talons, snow shoes, and cleats. She only knew that much from using the wrist-mounted control pad as a stim toy on the ride down. 

The density of the trees was a curse and a blessing at the same time. It was hard to find someplace clear to land their shuttle, so it was a longer walk to the drone’s resting site, but that also meant any decently-sized encampment would be trivial to locate from above. 

Catra and eight of her clones (half of her total crew size) tracked the drone to the foot of a sheer ridge, finding it partially buried in snow. Its body was heavy enough that it required two people to lift and even more to carry it anywhere, so Catra suspected that whoever destroyed it pushed it off the cliff when they were done. Sure enough, when they got to the top of the ridge, there were drag marks, still barely visible despite the snowfall. She even found footprints nearby, protected from the weather by the canopy of evergreens overhead. 

It was mid-day when they landed, but the sun was already setting by the time they reached the camp. A couple pairs of tents with an extinguished fire pit between them. Catra expected a bit more, and there probably was before they ran away, but it still looked pretty pathetic. A camp this size would have barely supported four people. Her one saving grace was believing this was an outpost and not the main camp. That and the fact that the fire pit was still warm. 

“What are your orders, Captain?” Two asked. She discarded the blackened piece of wood in her claw and stood back up. Her clones waited patiently for her next words.

“Investigate the area. They have to be close,” she told them. Two and the rest of the clones saluted and spread out without hesitation, not suspecting that their captain could be misleading them. While they searched, Catra took to following a trail of footprints she’d noticed the moment they entered the camp. It’d be no fun if the clones did all the work. 

Her crew was naive, but they weren’t stupid, so her misdirection would probably only buy her a short headstart. In any case, once she left earshot, she quickened her pace. There was no doubt whoever she was tracking had been running, but they’d need to stop eventually. 

The trail brought her to the mouth of a cave, small enough to be overlooked from above. The snowy boot marks inside were already melting. She’d need to be quick. 

As proud as Catra was of her tracking skills, the interior of the cave was like a maze. If her target picked a path at random, Catra would be at the mercy of luck in finding them, but from the way the footprints in the snow lead straight here, it seemed there was no luck on their end. If anything, it was bait to try and lead her away. Why else would there be two tents but only one set of tracks?

Catra cursed herself for being misled so easily, but her frustrations were far from over. She reached yet another dead end, so she headed back to the fork she came from, but then the realization hit her. She didn’t know which way to go to get back out. She was so focused on finding her target, she didn’t even think to mark her path along the way. 

She decided to just pick a direction and go. That led to another fork, one she thought she recognized, but her supposed way back just led to another dead end. She tried again, went another way, but it was like the walls had reshaped behind her. She tried hugging the wall, remembering the proper way to escape mazes, but the paths weren’t just left and right, they went up and down and every other direction. 

She found an open passage and started running, as if speed was the issue. The floors were uneven. She tripped.

She tumbled into the dark, at the full mercy of gravity. She hit her shoulder, then her hip, and when she hit her head, she lost track of everything else. By the time the world stopped spinning, her light was broken and she was as aimless as ever. 

She pushed herself back to her knees and threw off her helmet. “How deep is this stupid cave?” she yelled out. Being quiet didn’t matter anymore. With all her backtracking, her target must already be long gone by now. How could she be so stupid?

With the shock wearing off, her knee lit up in burning pain. She hissed and fell on her side. A quick check of the area confirmed her fears. A piece of rock had cut clean through her suit. She was bleeding. 

In the silence, she heard something drip onto the floor. She checked, not her knee. She checked the rest of her body. A little soreness, but no cuts. Her head. Nothing. Then her face. She was crying. 

Realizing only made it worse. If she was gonna keep failing so much, the least she could do was not be a baby about it. It was all her fault anyway. Not just falling, not just getting lost, but the rest of her life too. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t sided with Prime. Maybe then the Rebellion would still be together and not scattered across the galaxy. 

Eventually her sobs faded out, leaving silence. And in that silence, she heard crackling, almost like a fire. No, definitely like a fire. 

She grabbed her helmet and stood back up. She walked slow, holding her helmet with one hand, while the other was braced against the wall. With the noise, came light, and in no time at all, Catra turned the corner into a wide-open clearing, with a crackling fire in the middle.

The fire burnt low, but she knew whoever lit it had only just left. She took her weight off the wall and stepped forward. A flash of movement caught her eye. Too late. Catra was swept off her feet, hitting the ground hard. 

Her helmet clattered to the floor. She held her arms over her face, blocking punches. Whoever was hitting her was strong, but they lacked technique. They were desperate. Catra continued blocking with one arm and slashed forward with the other, making contact and cutting deep. Her attacker yelped. She recognized the voice, even in pain. 

Catra pushed them off her and scrambled to her feet, raising her claws. Her attacker held both hands over their face, groaning in pain. Then she lowered them. 

She looked terrible. Her cheeks had sunken in a little and her hair was matted with sweat and dirt. The two new cuts across her chin definitely didn’t help anything. 

“Adora?” Catra asked. She almost couldn’t believe it. Maybe she looked like Adora, but she definitely didn’t look like She-Ra. 

“Finally found me,” Adora said. She stood up and walked back over to her fire without a second glance. Nearby, there was a bedroll sprawled across the floor, a discarded pair of mittens, and a bag of supplies, which she was now rifling through. She took out some kind of cream and starting smearing it on her wound. 

Catra picked up her helmet, then placed it next to her as she sat across from Adora. “How long have you been here?” Catra asked.

“What do you care?” Adora asked. Her words were almost as biting as the cold. Catra couldn’t blame her.

“I’ve been looking for you, you know.” Catra pulled her knees to her chest.

“You and the rest of the Horde, I’m sure.” Adora just stared into the fire as she applied more salve.

“I told them to stay behind. My crew, I mean.”

“So you’re a captain now. Good for you,” Adora said. Catra opened her mouth to speak, but Adora continued, “All of Etheria for a shiny little badge. I hope it was worth it.”

“You could’ve joined me, you know,” Catra said, a little annoyed.

“Yeah? She-Ra join the Horde? Even if I wanted to, Prime would’ve had me chipped the first chance he got.”

“I wouldn’t have let him. He trusts me,” Catra said. Adora just shook her head and scoffed. She moved to treat the deeper of her two cuts and winced in pain once she made contact. Out of instinct, Catra removed her gloves and moved in close. 

“Here. Let me,” she said, taking up the salve in one hand while holding Adora by the jaw with the other. 

Adora met her eyes for the first time. They were filled with fear, and sadness behind it.

Catra dipped her fingers into the cream and started treating the wound she made. It was easier when she could see what she was doing. 

“It’s a lot less fun with you around, you know,” she said. 

“And whose fault is that?” Adora asked.

“If it means anything, I didn’t know what he was going to do.”

Adora’s voice was shaky. “But you still followed him, didn’t you? Even after what happened to…” 

The fire was fizzling out. 

“I’m sorry,” Catra said. She was almost done. She found Adora’s eyes. “Do you think…”

“Do I think what?” Adora asked, piercing through her.

“Do you think…” Catra paused, finding a different question. “…I’ll see you again?”

Adora paused too. She averted her eyes. “I hope not.”

Catra pulled back. “What?”

“You’re with Prime now.” Adora sounded tired. “You’re dangerous. I shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

“Then why are you?”

“What other choice do I have?” Adora asked, gesturing around the cavern. “I ran halfway across the galaxy and you still found me. I don’t know how long I can keep running.”

Catra brushed off the sharpness in her words. “It’s not like you to run.”

“It’s been a year, Catra. I’ve changed. I’m not She-Ra anymore.”

“Well…” Catra trailed off. “Would you believe me if I said I’ve changed too?”

There was deep sadness in Adora’s eyes. “I’m not sure it matters anymore.”

Catra could feel her whole body tensing up. She clenched her fists. “You really have changed…” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adora asked.

Catra stood up and pointed her finger. “The Adora I knew was nowhere near as pathetic as you.”

“Catra.” Adora scowled.

“Hard to believe you were ever She-Ra. Wasting away in some cave in the middle of nowhere? Honestly, how pathetic can you be?” Her voice echoed off the cavern walls.

Adora started gathering up her things. “I never should’ve said anything. I thought that one day you’d come around, but I was wrong about you. I kept giving you chances you didn’t deserve, and I lost everything because of it.”

Catra growled and lunged forward, grabbing Adora by her collar. “I thought one day you’d stop running away and leaving me behind. But I guess I was wrong about you too.”

Adora froze up, then looked Catra in the eye. She looked almost about to cry. “It’s no fun when I don’t fight back, is it, Catra?”

Adora fell through her grasp, grunting as she hit the floor. Catra turned her back quick, unable to stop the tears. “You’re pathetic, you know that? Pathetic! I feel so bad for you, it’s funny. I get to go home to my big, soft bed while you’re stuck here playing in the snow. Poor Adora lost the war. Poor Adora’s friends couldn’t protect her. Some She-Ra you are!”

When her echoes were done fading out, she could hear Adora standing back up and stepping away. “I hope you’re happy, Catra. I really do.”

Catra’s breaths drew quick and shallow as her temper flared back up. “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me, Adora. I don’t need you at all!” She spun back around. “I never-” Adora was gone. The fire was out and Catra was alone in the dark. 

“I never needed you,” Catra whispered. No response came. Not even an echo.

Chapter Text

Catra watched through the viewing window as the ship breached the clouds, sailing down over an endless expanse of white. Below, a forest of evergreens spread out in every direction, broken up by ridges, rivers, and lakes, all covered in shimmering ice. In the distance, a snow-capped mountain towered over it all, tearing through the overcast sky. 

This would be Catra’s fourth search mission overall, third since investigating the fallen drone some odd days ago. With such a lack of activity, time was running out, both for Catra to find Adora, and for her to prove to Two that staying here was worth their while. Despite the encroaching deadline, Catra struggled to actually search and scan rather than sightsee. Here, at least, things were different each time she saw them, and she was enjoying that fact while she still could. 

Perhaps it was Catra’s appreciation for beauty that did it, that honest wonderment which had her tracing every detail, for appreciation’s sake rather than reconnaissance. Or perhaps it was simply dumb luck, that which had done most of the work in taking her this far anyway. In either case, she caught something on the skyline, a tiny wisp of smoke peeking over the trees from across a lake. 

She reached for her radio, but hesitated. Be too precise and they’d find her too. She scanned the surrounding area and found her mark. “Smoke spotted by the river, two hundred units out from the ridge line,” she said. 

A flat, but meek sounding voice responded. “Right away, Captain,” it said. Catra leaned against the window as the shuttle tilted on its side. The landscape spun around beneath her and suddenly the mountain was behind her and the lake, river, and ridge in front. 

While the shuttle made for the river, searching for flat ground, Catra knew her clones would find only disappointment, while she stayed locked on those trees behind the lake, hoping to find smoke, and fire with it. 

——————

When Catra approached the ship’s hatch, five clones saluted her. The first, she knew was Two by the uniform, and the second she could tell was the pilot, by his headgear, but also in the way that he stood. Radio, as Catra called him, was somewhat more timid and a little cowardly compared to the others, but he and Catra usually got along. He reminded her a little bit of Kyle. The other three, Catra didn’t know, as they were dressed the same and stood the same way too. If a clone had some distinct micro-personality, a little more mean, a little more quiet, Catra would name them. Even Two had the regular makings of a second-in-command, in that he was just a little more annoying. These remaining three seemed to lack even that, so they’d be without names for now, along with about half of Catra’s crew of sixteen.

“Captain,” Two addressed. “You saw something by the river, correct?”

“That’s right,” Catra said. “I can point out where.”

“Very well, then we’ll be off.” He pressed a button by the hatch and the floor slowly opened up into a short ramp. 

“Are you sure someone else can’t stay on the ship?” Radio asked, partially hunched over. “If there really are rebels here, I don’t know if I can take them all myself.”

Catra considered his request. Another clone on the ship meant one less to distract while she snuck away, but before she could answer, Two did so for her. “You may seal the hatch once we’re off. Just keep your radio on.”

Radio seemed nervous, but he wasn’t about to go against what Two said. To the rest of the clones, Two had the same authority as Catra, perhaps even more so. While Catra was technically in charge, Two was a clone like everyone else and so was more attuned to Prime’s directives. Catra suspected he was the real leader in their eyes, whether conscious or not. 

With no further protest, Catra and the four clones headed off into the frozen forest, with the hatch already sealing shut behind them. 

None of their other searches yielded results aside from the initial one, so this was the first time Catra was on the surface since then. She spread out her fingers as she walked, welcoming the gentle chill which seeped through her suit onto her skin. 

The cold made her feel alive. And the ship, with its stale, still air, made her feel dead.

While Catra daydreamed of life and death, and all those things holding her in between, she and her clones walked and walked till finally, they reached the river. 

Catra pretended to notice something. “I recognize that incline. I saw the smoke somewhere around here,” she said. 

Two spoke up after her to give the clones their real commands. “Search carefully. They could be burrowed underground again.”

“Let’s split up,” Catra added in quickly. If it sounded natural enough, no one would question it. And for the most part, none did. Except Two. 

“Split up, Captain?” he asked. “Last time we split up, we were separated and lost the trail, correct?”

“Yes, correct,” Catra repeated. The other three clones were staring at her, so she had to look confident. “But my… radio was jammed too. I did try to say something about the cave, but I must have been out of range. The trail was going cold, so I couldn’t wait to respond. These things do happen.”

“Yes, I suppose that makes sense,” Two said, hand to his chin. “We can divide in half then. One group of three, and one of two. Perhaps we could be the two?”

“Ah, well…” Sounding confident was becoming a chore now. “I do track much better alone. You four can search in pairs and I can go myself.” Two didn’t seem convinced, so Catra tried copying his speech patterns in her next words. “I’m certain this is the most effective way. Clones do work better with clones, as Prime might say.”

Catra winced a little at her last remark, afraid her ploy would be too obvious. She even rhymed, embarrassingly enough. Two still seemed unsure, but less than before. “This time, you will make sure to confirm with us first before pursuing a trail?” he asked.

“You have my promise as your Captain,” Catra said, saluting. The clones returned her salute in turn, then split off in pairs as directed. 

Once alone, Catra sighed in relief. Things got a little shaky near the middle there, but ending by mentioning her role, then doing a salute? It was almost too easy. Catra, you rock. 

——————

Across the lake and through the thicket of trees, Catra found exactly what she was expecting. A fire pit sat between two upturned slices of wood, forming seats, and the fire itself seemed to have recently been put out with a handful of snow. Whoever was here must have seen the ships flying overhead. 

Behind the campfire, a small, but quaint structure was camouflaged into the hillside on which it rested. Thick coverings of fabric, or perhaps fur, were coated evenly and deliberately with snow, propped up much like a regular tent would be, but fully blended into the landscape. If not for the fire lit at mid-day, it might have stayed hidden forever. 

Catra wouldn’t be snuck up on again, but it seemed her target had no intention of doing so. Slipping from the folds of the tent, Adora appeared. Most of her face was concealed against the elements, but Catra could tell it was her just from the eyes. In her grip was a simple hand-carved spear, but from the way she stood, calm, yet imposing, it may as well have been her sword. She’d definitely lost a little mass compared to a year ago, but Catra doubted she’d ever lose that She-Ra ambience. 

“You gonna say something?” Adora asked.

Catra hadn’t realized she’d been staring. “Hey, Adora,” she said. 

“You come to capture me?” She held the spear tight between her mittened hands.

“I just want to talk.” What a lame excuse.

“You can’t be here, Catra. Wherever you go, Prime follows.” 

“I gave them the slip again,” Catra said, feeling a bit proud of herself. “We were supposed to search in a group, but I told them I worked better alone, so…” She trailed off seeing Adora’s narrowed eyes and tilted head. “…so I came to see you.”

Adora peered over Catra’s shoulder, then met her eyes again. “Why are you here?” she asked.

“I just said, I wanted to see you, dummy,” Catra said. A year ago, her voice would have been heavy with sarcasm, but right now, it was the truth. 

Adora stayed tense, checking over her shoulder and adjusting her grip on her spear. “You know I’m not gonna buy that,” she said. “We’ve been through this before. You always have a plan.”

Of course. Why would Adora take her at her word? It’d been a whole year. Whatever image she had of Catra was frozen solid by now. “What will it take for you to trust me?” Catra asked. 

Adora stabbed her spear into the ground. “Honesty,” she answered, pulling down her scarf to reveal the fading scars on her chin. She crossed her arms. “Why are you really here?”

Catra took a breath, but the answer Adora wanted wasn’t one she had right now. She’d have to make another. “Honestly? Got tired of hanging around clones all day. None of them have anything going on except Prime, it’s so annoying. There’s never anything to do on the ship either. I’d say all the clones do in their free time is photosynthesize, but there’s never even any sunlight.”

Catra chuckled to herself, trying to draw out the same in Adora. Instead, the blonde just furrowed her brow. “Okay, I’m gonna ignore everything else wrong with what you just said, but… you’re telling me you came all the way across the galaxy just ‘cause you were bored?”

Adora was right, what a stupid reason. Still time to back out. “Yep, that’s exactly right.” Oh, no. Catra, you suck.

Adora turned to the side. “It just doesn’t add up,” she mumbled. 

“You’ve met the clones, right? It’s like talking to a bag of marbles.” Again, Catra tried her hand at humor, but Adora wasn’t even looking at her anymore, so she quickly dropped her fake smile. “Look, can we at least go inside to talk or something?”

Catra inched a couple steps toward the tent, which prompted Adora to reclaim her spear. Catra, expecting intimidation, raised her arms defensively, but the blonde was already turning away. “I’m not interested in talking if you’re going to lie to me,” she said before stepping away and walking around her tent. 

“Why would I be lying?” Catra asked. When Adora didn’t answer, she followed her. “Hey! I’m talking to you.”

Adora took hold of a snow-colored tarp sat behind the tent and swept it away, revealing a modest wooden sled strapped with bundles of supplies. She continued ignoring Catra, leaning down to adjust one of the straps. 

Catra closed the distance, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Adora!”

The blonde quickly shrugged her off and stood up straight, but kept her back turned. “I told you, I’m done talking,” she said. “Tell me the truth or leave me alone.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Catra asked, throwing up her arms. 

Adora turned her head, looking Catra in the eyes. “You remember what happened in the cave, don’t you? Or was that a different Catra?” Her gaze was so piercing that Catra had to break eye contact or risk freezing up. 

“Psh, yeah, I remember,” Catra said, feigning disinterest.

“You kept talking about how things used to be. How things are less fun now. Asking to see me again.” Adora didn’t need eye contact anymore. Her words were piercing through just fine. “You miss me, don’t you?” She wasn’t being smug about it or anything. Just stating a fact.

“Miss you?” Catra made herself laugh just a bit too much in response. “I miss talking to a real person, Adora. Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not all that.” She glanced at the sled. “What is all this anyway?”

Adora took one last look at her cargo. “I’m leaving.”

“Why?”

“The Horde found me, why else?” 

“Not yet. They’re off digging in the dirt somewhere.”

“I was talking about you.”

Catra took a moment to register. “You know I’m not like them.” She spoke quietly, sadly.

“Right now you are.” Adora grabbed the tow rope at the sled’s nose, “You’re lying to get what you want,” gestured with her spear, “showing no remorse for your actions,” then started walking away, dragging the sled behind, “and you’re doing a pretty good job hunting me down.”

Catra started following beside her at an angle. “Lying? My- You want me to apologize? Fine. Sorry I keep giving you more reasons to run away from me. Feels like I’ve been doing that for years. Didn’t take long to change sides, did it?” 

“I tried, Catra.” Adora shot a glance to the side, but kept her focus straight ahead. 

“Clearly not very hard.”

“I asked you to join me. Multiple times. I knew this wasn’t you, but I don’t know, you kept talking before about how happy you are. I figured that was it.”

She was being obtuse on purpose to draw out an emotional response. Catra wouldn’t let her win. That show of weakness back in the cave would be her last, disregarding the times she’d cried herself to sleep since then.

“What, so we’re not allowed to catch up? I thought you’d be happy to see me,” Catra said, staring at the back of Adora’s hood.

Adora stopped in her tracks. She turned to face Catra with equal parts frustration and sorrow in her eyes. “You said you didn’t need me.”

Catra felt that ache in her chest again, but she wouldn’t allow another breakdown. “What I need is for you to lay off. I didn’t come here to be interrogated. I just wanted to blow off some steam, have a little fun.”

“Oh, have fun, is that it, Catra? Have fun?” Adora was yelling. She stabbed her spear into the ground. “Do you see where we are? You think this is fun for me?” She marched up to Catra, throwing off her mittens. “Losing the war, going on the run for a whole year? You think I like the cold? You think I like any of this?” Catra started backing up, but Adora had already grabbed her by the collar. Her helmet slammed back against a tree, disorienting her, and when her vision cleared, Adora was right in front of her, furious. Her face was so close, Catra’s visor may as well not exist. “I am not having fun, Catra. I am surviving. And if you are doing as well as you say you are with your soft bed and your shiny badge, then why do you still need me?” Her eyes began to water. “If you have everything, why do you still need me?”

“I don’t know,” Catra mumbled, staring at the floor.

“No one comes this far for ‘I don’t know,’ Catra.” Adora was starting to cry, but she still had plenty of fury. “If I’m so sad and pathetic and small, then… then why haven’t you left already? You chase me all the way here, just to let me go, just to chase me down again. I don’t get it.” Her voice fell quiet. “Why are you still playing games with me? Do I mean that little to you?” As her tears began dripping against Catra’s visor, the girl backed off and turned away. “It feels like everything we had was… some big, dumb joke to you.”

The air between them was silent as Catra found her words and Adora found her breath. Finally, Catra spoke. “I lied.”

Adora sniffled and kept her back turned. She was silent. 

Catra took a deep breath. No crying this time. “I’m not really happy, Adora. I’m miserable. And the days I’m not miserable, I’m not there. Weeks pass like days. Feels like I’m going crazy. When there’s no one but clones to talk to, you start to think you’re one of them. Some days I don’t even feel real.” Adora turned around with some mixture of concern in her eyes, but Catra kept looking at the snow. “I just want things to go back to how they were. When we were happy. Even when we were on opposite sides, I still got to see you all the time, but now… I don’t get that anymore.”

Catra dared to look up and found Adora staring back at her. Her eyes were glassy, but her expression was unreadable. “So you did miss me.” Her tone lacked any hint of teasing, almost like she was disappointed by what she was saying. 

Catra almost wanted to laugh, to do anything to ease the tension, but if Adora refused the gesture for a third time, she might just die on the spot. Instead, she just averted her eyes. “Did you… miss me too?”

Adora wiped her eyes of tears. “Of course I missed you.” She almost sounded offended.

A weight lifted off Catra’s shoulders, but there were still a dozen more left over. “Then why didn’t you look for me?” she asked.

“How could I? With how little resources we already had, there was no way I could justify going after you again, not to myself, especially not to the others. Not after everything you did. Besides, you work for Prime.”

“I don’t want to work for Prime,” Catra said, but she repeated it in her mind as she spoke it. Why had it taken so long to realize?

Adora spoke coldly again. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to that crew you left behind?” 

Catra felt a lump in her stomach thinking about returning to her ship. “No. I- I don’t want to.”

“You can’t just walk away. Aren’t they looking for you? For me?”

“Could I…” Catra was shivering, despite the lack of cold in her suit. “Could I go with you?”

Adora fidgeted with her hands amidst the cold. “What, you wanna run away together?”

“I don’t want to go back, Adora.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can take you with me either.” Adora watched carefully for Catra’s reaction, but she knew already it wouldn’t be good. “You have to understand, Catra. I have to think about more than just me here.”

“I thought it’d be different this time,” Catra mumbled. “That maybe you’d finally see me as more than just a servant to the Horde.”

“I’m sorry, but I just… can’t afford to trust you right now. I have to be She-Ra before I can be Adora.”

“You said She-Ra was gone,” Catra growled.

“I know.” Adora took a deep breath. “But I have to believe she’s in there somewhere.”

“At least you haven’t given up on her.” Catra turned her back, facing the way they came, where Adora’s campsite rested. Gray stuck out against white, revealing a clone, knelt down over the campfire. 

Adora hadn’t noticed yet. “That’s not fair, Catra. It’s a lot more complicated than-”

“You need to go, Adora. Now.”

“What?”

Catra’s ear twitched. It was already too late. A clone appeared at Adora’s back, pressing the end of a baton to her neck before lighting her up in a show of sparks. Catra couldn’t do anything to help her or they’d find out she was a traitor. So she watched as every muscle in Adora’s body tensed up, listened as she cried out in pain, then stood by as she slumped to the ground, motionless. 

The rest of the clones revealed themselves, having hidden in the thickets nearby. 

“Well done, Captain,” Two said, grinning. 

Both Adora and Catra were frozen still, unable to move, so all they could do was lock eyes, contemplating which one of them had just betrayed the other.

Chapter Text

The Horde had finally done it. They’d captured She-Ra and it was all thanks to their Captain. The She-Ra in question was a shadow of her former self to say the least, but not much better could be said about Catra. 

With their primary objective secured, the now-respected Captain was allotted some well-deserved alone time, though it seemed to her that only her second-in-command was happy about the new development. A rebel prisoner, and one of such high priority at that, meant they’d be leaving Cyren-6 and returning to deep space. Despite the promise of Prime’s respect and adoration upon their return, Catra’s crew had just gotten used to standing on solid ground again, and they weren’t ready to give that up just yet. Reluctantly, Two allowed the crew a final night in Cyren’s orbit, to celebrate, though under the agreement that they would leave first thing the following morning.

Catra only had the night, but she already had a plan in mind; she’d been daydreaming about how she’d run away the day she became Captain. 

Catra sat perched in her desk chair, pouring over the ship’s blueprint. Her ship was supposedly navigable without a connection to the hivemind - Two said it was designed with a non-clone captain in mind - yet she still had trouble finding her way around even now. 

Just as Catra was finalizing her escape route, the thorn in her side made another appearance. 

“Captain,” Two greeted as he entered her room. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

Catra had to crane her neck all the way to the side to face him. She concealed the blueprint as she did, laying some other documents on top. “Can I help you?”

“I come to you not out of obligation for our mission for once.” He tried and failed to show warmth in his smile. “You must have a lot on your mind.”

As the clone stepped closer, Catra grew defensive. “I’m busy right now, Number Two. Can this wait?”

“It’s just that I’ve noticed something very interesting, Captain.”

Catra immediately broke out in a cold sweat. She clenched her claw atop the stack of papers, threatening to poke a hole straight through. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I’ve begun to notice a decline in your behavior towards me. Not that this is a recent happening. I don’t believe you’ve ever held me in too high regard ever since my assignment to you. Only now do I realize that fact.”

Catra exhaled through her nose. It was just her attitude, not her plans to defect that he’d noticed. But something about the way he spoke unnerved her. 

“Huh, no offense, but I’m surprised you finally noticed.” 

“Do you know much about clones?”

Catra grinned. On multiple occasions, she’d tricked Two into rambling his energy away, leaving no room for the subtle interrogations he liked to do. 

“Tell me.”

“Clones are a strange form of life, aren’t we? Did you know that we are imperfect copies? Each one of us has some wisp of individuality, but only when our connection to Prime is weak or severed. After long enough, one might even call us real people. But we aren’t really real, are we?”

Catra actually had noticed their micro-personalities, but his latter question confused her. “What do you mean you’re not real?” she asked.

“We are nothing on our own, simply extensions of Prime’s will. We are like batteries, he says. His light gives us life and without it, we are consumed by the silence in our heads. So our choices then are to live in servitude or perish quietly.”

Again, Catra was surprised by Two’s insight. He wasn’t acting like himself. Or maybe he finally was.

“Do you wish to know what separates you from us, Captain?” Two asked. Catra avoided looking directly into his eyes. 

“Not really,” Catra said, but she knew he didn’t care.

“If we clones were exact copies, we’d stop at nothing for the throne, believing we were perfect, like Prime is perfect. But we were made to be incomplete, designed with holes in our hearts to fit all of his wires. We are without ambition. We lack the ability to desire or to imagine what could be. We do not want. We simply do. Or rather, we do as told.” Two looked Catra in the eyes, and for a moment she believed he could read minds. “But you are not like us, Captain. You can want. You can imagine. Your desire is what proves you are alive.”

“Get to the point,” Catra said, feigning confidence.

“Clones want for nothing, but the living are the opposite, never satisfied. I suppose we are both incomplete in our own ways, but that makes me wonder. What is it that brings you here? Why come all the way to the edge of the galaxy?” 

“To serve Prime.” Catra answered without thinking. Two’s smile grew wider.

“Spoken like a true clone. But you are no clone. You are living. So tell me, Captain, what is your true desire?” He leaned in closer, peering over Catra as she sat back in her chair. “What is it that makes you real?”

A bead of sweat rolled down the back of Catra’s neck. Her one desire? Visions of Adora flashed through her head. A cozy, fur-lined tent, days spent hunting, nights spent staring at the stars. A hard life, but one they’d venture together. Except Adora hated the cold, and the stars drove Catra crazy. They hadn’t seen each other for a whole year and suddenly they were starting a life together? She really was starting to lose it. You need to go out and touch snow, Catra.

“Listen, Number Two,” Catra said, finding new confidence in her own annoyance. “I’ve had a long day, so I don’t know how you want me to answer that, but can we reschedule or something?”

Two blinked, then leaned back as his smile faded. It seemed Catra had finally managed to break him out of it, whatever it seemed to be. “Right, of course. My apologies, Captain.” His eyes shifted. “Perhaps instead you could help me answer a different question? One that is less personal, maybe?”

Catra shrugged and placed her hands in her lap. Anything to get him out of her room.

“That voice in our heads, Prime’s voice. What do you think might happen if that voice was gone?”

“You said it yourself,” Catra said. “You’d run out of juice or something.”

“Right. Consumed by the silence in our heads,” Two repeated. “It’s what Prime tells us. What the voice tells us. But perhaps when that voice fades out, we create our own. A conscience. Perhaps we would finally be able to imagine. To want. To become real.”

Catra clenched her claws tight atop her thighs, where Two couldn’t see them. “So what is it you want?”

Two grinned. “Oh, there’s nothing I want. Nothing at all. I was merely speculating.” He turned back around and started marching away. He stopped as the door opened. “But if I had to pick something, I would like for you to start keeping your promises, my dear Captain,” then he stepped through and was gone. 

Catra unfurled her fists and found red marks where her claws had dug into her palms. She glanced at the door again, realizing only now that Two never even knocked.

——————

Catra wasn’t fond of socializing on a good day, but today especially, she was eager for some time away from crowds. While most of the crew was gathered in the bridge, ‘celebrating’ as Two liked to say - though ‘standing around and staring out the window in silence’ might be more apt - Catra was looking for one clone in particular. 

She found Radio in the hangar, crouched underneath one of the crew’s scouting vessels. He was examining the landing gear, but holding his wrench limp at his side, like he was afraid he might break something. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” Catra did her best to sound friendly.

Radio bolted upright in surprise, bumping into the bottom of the vessel and dropping his wrench as a result. He scrambled to stand up straight, holding one hand in a salute while the other rubbed the back of his head. 

“C-Captain!” he greeted.

“You can relax. Two’s not around,” Catra said, shifting her weight to one foot as she crossed her arms. “What are you doing?”

“Uhm…” Radio dropped his salute, but continued rubbing his head. He glanced at the scouting vessel. “We landed a bit rough today, so I’m just doing some maintenance. I’m almost done, then I can go right back to the bridge, um, Captain.”

“Don’t worry about it. Take your time.” Catra stepped closer and put a hand on Radio’s shoulder. “But once you’re done, I have something really important for you to do.”

“Yes, of course, Captain.” Radio stiffened up at her touch. “Whatever you require.”

Catra pulled the clone in with an arm around his neck, speaking low. “I have a top secret mission for you. We need to take the prisoner down to the surface so she can help us track the rest of the Rebellion. But you can’t tell anyone, alright?”

“Not even my brothers?” Radio asked. Catra shook her head. “Why not?”

Catra made a show of looking around, as if someone could be listening in. “I just found out there’s a traitor in our crew. But I don’t know who, so we have to keep this between us, alright?”

Radio was the same height as all the other clones, but the way he hunched over made him look shorter even than Catra. “A traitor, Captain? One of my own brothers? That can’t be possible.”

“Yeah, well…” All Catra could think about was her conversation with Two earlier. “Our connection to Prime is weak so far away. You can feel it too, can’t you?”

“Ah, of course…” Radio put a hand to his chin. “Prime’s voice went quiet some time ago. So a brother has strayed from his light?”

Catra turned away to hide her grin. She put on her serious face, then turned back. “I’m afraid so. Not everyone is as devoted as you are. Without his voice, some are bound to betray the Horde sooner or later.”

Radio looked up, losing all the nervousness of before. “Then I’ll be sure to do right by Prime. We will find this traitor, Captain. I’m certain.”

“Great! I knew I could count on you,” Catra said. She released him from her grasp, then walked away, turning back to say, “Get ready to take off, I’ll be back soon.”

Radio waved goodbye, determination in his eyes.

Catra returned to the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief. Now for the hard part.

——————

The energy field painted Adora’s cell a sickly green, almost making her appear frozen as she laid curled up in her cot. 

“Time to wake up, sleepyhead,” Catra greeted. She fiddled with the control pad mounted nearby.

“Leave me alone,” Adora groaned, pulling her blanket up over her head.

“You wanna escape, don’t you?” The control pad lit up with a warning, which Catra dismissed, flashing her Captain’s badge once prompted. The energy field switched off, allowing her to step closer.

“Haven’t you done enough already?”

“If you’re gonna be a baby, you can do it after we escape.” She grabbed hold of the blanket, but met heavy resistance. Adora had it wrapped around herself like a cocoon, with the ends tucked underneath. Catra struggled against her, grunting, “You’re gonna… get us… both caught… dummy!”

All at once, the blanket came loose, throwing Catra on her butt. She bolted back up, but came face to face with Adora, staring down at her with arms crossed. She was missing her weapons and coat, but she looked as intimidating ever in a tank top and shorts. 

Catra broke from her stupor. “Our ride’s waiting. You wanna escape or not?”

“Real convenient, don’t you think? I’m getting captured, then here you are letting me go the same day?”

Catra sighed. “Adora, I really don’t feel like arguing right now. Can we just go?”

“Not without my stuff.”

“Your coat’s already on the ship.”

“I bet you put a tracker on it or something.” Adora turned her head away.

“You still think I’m lying? You wanna get rescued or not?”

Adora looked Catra in the eyes and stepped closer, “I’m not saying no to being rescued,” then poked Catra in the chest, “I’m saying no to you.”

“Me? I’m the problem here?” Catra stepped back. “Would you rather stay with the clones?”

“I don’t know.” Adora shrugged. “At least with the clones I know where I stand. I can never tell with you.”

Catra winced, shaking her head. “I’m the only reason you’re not already on your way to Prime, Princess. You should be thanking me.”

Adora narrowed her eyes. “You’re the reason I’m in here in the first place!”

Catra checked over her shoulder, listening for footsteps which never came. She was lucky she even got this far. She’d need Adora on her side to get any further.

“Okay, okay,” Catra mumbled. “I admit I messed up, but just… if you stay quiet and follow me, I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

Adora furrowed her brow, unnerved by Catra’s sudden vulnerability. She looked around at her tiny cell.

“Fine. Anything beats staying here.”

The pair moved carefully toward the hangar, stopping often to check for clones, but Catra’s soon-to-be former crew still seemed to be gathered in the bridge for now. It wouldn’t last, and Two would grow suspicious eventually, but she’d be long gone by then. 

Yet as she considered this fact, it all seemed so convenient. Convincing Radio, rescuing Adora, all without the slightest resistance. 

As they reached the door to the hangar, Catra realized. The way Two had been acting, toying with her, feigning obliviousness. She hadn’t fooled him like she thought. He just wanted to catch her in the act. 

Too late. 

The hangar doors opened and Catra came face to face with the very crew she sought to escape. She swiped her claws at anyone who got close, but their numbers overwhelmed her in mere seconds. Before she could react, the stun baton pressed to her neck and electricity coursed through her body. The world turned white, crackling and bursting in her vision. Ringing filled her ears, then she realized it wasn’t ringing at all, but her own involuntary screams. She fell to her knees, held up by a clone on either side. 

She heard Two before she saw him. “My dear Captain.” He pushed through the crowd, kneeling down to look Catra in the eye. “I knew your ambition would betray you sooner or later, but did you really expect my own brothers to turn against me?” 

Behind him, she spotted Radio, averting eye contact as he rubbed the back of his neck. Two shifted his gaze, presumably to Adora, who was obscured by the crowd. “You would sacrifice everything… for her? This… She-Ra? If she is the one meant to stand against Prime, then the Rebellion already lost long ago.” 

He rose back to full height, his face obscured by Catra’s lowered head. “Before I relieve you of your position, do you have anything to say for yourself… Captain?”

Catra turned her head up, fighting against the tingling numbness spreading through her body. She willed herself to speak. “Since the day I met you, you’ve been nothing but a pain in my neck, Two.” She spat out the nickname, knowing how much he hated it. “My only regret is not betraying you sooner.”

Catra let her head fall limp, having already spent what little energy the shock had allowed her. She smirked, imagining the look on Two’s face, but as he knelt down to meet her gaze, he wasn’t angry, nor even displeased. He was nothing. 

Two motioned to one of the other clones, who stepped forward, holding a small case. “Do you know how it feels to lose everything?” he asked. Catra was silent. The clone opened the case, revealing a small, circular device with six spiked prongs surrounding it. A Horde chip. 

“You must know what this is, don’t you, Catra?” Her name was unfamiliar in his mouth. “The day you received your badge, you swore allegiance to the Horde. But you were lying. And ever since then, you have done nothing but lie. You took Prime for granted. So now-” He held out the chip. “-Prime will take it all back.”

Catra tried to speak. “You… you’ll n-never…” Her breaths were shallow in her chest.

Two motioned to the clones. “I’d like her to watch,” he told them.

Two stepped out of the way and Adora took his place, knelt in front of Catra with her hands held behind her back. Her ponytail had fallen out in the struggle, leaving blonde hair to fall in messy bunches over her shoulders. She looked afraid, this time for Catra rather than of her.

“If you run from Prime’s light, this is all that will wait for you,” Two said. He placed a hand on the back of Catra’s head.

“Adora-” Catra gasped, looking her in the eyes. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she tried to say with just a look. But the hand on the back of her head forced her to face the floor as the chip embedded into her neck. 

White hot pain coursed through her body, worse even than the stun baton. She thought she heard Adora call her name, but her mind faded too quickly to be certain. She saw flashes of Prime’s face, but when he opened his mouth, he had no voice. Only his smile was left, taunting her as she plunged into the dark. 

The abyss poured through her, filling up her lungs, her veins, her mind. The chip tried to replace her with Prime, but Prime wasn’t there, so it replaced her with nothing. 

She cried out for Adora, but as soon as the name escaped her lips, it was gone. The girl with blonde hair was nothing but a memory, not even that anymore.

She laid suspended in an inky void, staring up at Prime and at Two, who looked just like him. He spoke, and his voice blew through her mind like a freezing wind. 

“Prime’s voice won’t reach you here. That emptiness. That numbness. That is how it feels to be forgotten.”

Then her fear was finally gone, leaving nothing but cold silence.

Chapter Text

What did they do?

Adora screamed Catra’s name, trying and failing to push through the wall of clones. The ringing in her ears had grown deafening by now, as if her mind was trying to convince her what happened didn’t really happen. If she’d lost her voice, she couldn’t tell. 

What did they do to her?

She looked so afraid. Her whole body went limp. Her eyes, there should’ve been light, any light at all, but they just flickered and faded right back out. The chip hadn’t taken over her mind. It destroyed it. 

Catra. What did they do to you?

The cell floor grew cold on her cheek. Numbness faded and feeling returned, which made her question whether she’d been shocked again. She didn’t remember.

Once her train of thought returned, the first thing on Adora’s mind was She-Ra. She hoped her feelings of grief might spur a transformation, as they had long ago, before she destroyed her sword. But if Catra getting mind-wiped right in front of her wouldn’t do it, nothing else would. 

Adora surprised herself in two ways. First, she still hadn’t given up on She-Ra. Second, she was a terrible friend. That part was less surprising. 

She-Ra was seemingly gone for good, showing no trace for almost a year, and Catra was standing right in front of her, begging for forgiveness.

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was She-Ra who had given up on her. 

The ship rumbled. Whatever Catra said about staying in orbit didn’t seem to apply anymore. Soon enough, she’d be on her way back to Horde Prime. The Rebellion lost a long time ago, but her capture would mean he had finally won. 

Adora propped herself up from the floor, finally. The metal was equally cold on her bare arms and legs, so she took the blanket off her bed and wrapped it around herself as she sat against the wall. She didn’t bother actually trying to rest. Getting comfortable on this ship was already a lost cause. 

Through the energy field, the door opened. A clone entered and locked eyes with her. Despite Adora’s pitiful position, the clone actually looked scared of her. 

“Hello.” He had the same voice as the rest of them, but spoke much softer.

Adora didn’t answer, just looked him up and down. Back hunched over, hands tight to his chest. Adora had planned on staying silent, but she recognized him. In a crowd of blank expressions, the one guilty face was hard to miss. 

“You betrayed Catra,” Adora said, confirming the fact for herself. 

The clone froze up, as if anxious, or nervous, or something. Clones didn’t usually have those types of emotions, she thought. 

“Yes, well…” He seemed deeply conflicted. His eyes were glazed over with stress and fatigue, but the rest of his face was stiff and firm, desperately trying to keep composure. He reminded Adora of someone whose life was falling apart. 

She knew the feeling.

The clone continued after a pause. He spoke slow. “I have come to right my wrongs. My brothers have lost their way, but I can still do right by Prime.”

Adora repeated his words in mumbles to try and make sense of them. She failed. “Lost their… what?” 

“I did as Two asked, led you and the Captain into his trap. I thought Prime had left us, but as they were taking you away, I heard him. I heard Prime’s voice!” 

The clone stared at the ceiling, smiling at nothing, until nervousness returned. “He told me I had done wrong. Two and everyone else, they were all wrong, and the Captain was right. So it was up to me to fix my mistake. And so… I am here.”

“Prime’s… voice?” Adora mumbled. 

With an abrupt sizzle, the energy field switched off. Adora bolted up on her feet, which made the clone startle back. He revealed Catra’s badge, which he held close to his body. 

“What are you doing?” Adora asked. 

“I am undoing what has been done,” the clone answered, though he didn’t seem too sure. “My brothers will try to stop us, but I will do what I must to help you escape. It is as Prime commands.”

Adora felt the urge to bolt past him and find Catra, but that was reckless in a number of ways. Even if he was helping her escape, he still seemed to worship Prime, or at least thought he did. Even suggesting to also rescue Catra could be pushing her luck, and she doubted she’d get a third chance to escape. 

But she couldn’t just leave. She wouldn’t abandon Catra again, even if it meant getting chipped together.

“What about Cat- er… the Captain?” Adora asked. She made an appeal to the clone’s own logic. “If you’re undoing your actions, since Catra was…” Empty eyes flashed in her mind. “…what did happen to her?”

“Ah… The Captain was chipped, but Prime’s voice does not reach this place, so her mind has entered hibernation, so to speak.”

Adora sighed in relief. “So she’s okay?”

“For now,” the clone said. “The mind grows weary in silence. If she remains in hibernation for too long… ah, well, the long-term effects of this state have not been researched, I’m afraid.”

Though not ideal, a time limit was infinitely better than a full mind erasure. She just had to find Catra, carry her to the hangar, steal a ship, get this clone to pilot her escape, then somehow remove the chip, and return to Cyren-6, all while evading the dozen or so other clones who, to her knowledge, were still fully loyal to Prime. Not to mention helping Catra recover, or convincing the others she was trustworthy. 

Adora took a breath. One thing at a time. First, find Catra.

She faced the clone. “If you’re undoing what you did, then we should rescue the Captain. Her getting chipped did kinda happen because of you, right?” She felt somewhat guilty manipulating her rescuer, but her back was against a wall right now. 

“Ah, yes, of course!” The clone said it with such confidence, as if convincing himself he’d thought of it first. 

Adora took the opportunity to brush past him and start walking. “No time to lose then!” she said awkwardly. Her leadership skills were rusty, but she’d work on them once she actually had a Rebellion to lead again. 

The clone trailed behind her without protest. He even mumbled directions, so Adora could keep up her confident strut without breaking pace. He said the clones were preparing to enter hibernation, which explained the pair’s lack of obstacles, but Adora stayed wary. She wouldn’t be fooled twice.

The medical bay was empty, so the clone led them to the captain’s quarters, where he showed his first signs of hesitance. 

“We… aren’t allowed to enter alone. We must knock first and wait to be let in,” he said.

Adora narrowed her eyes at the door. That was definitely like Catra, but she wouldn’t be awake to let them in, nor did Adora care about following rules anymore. She wondered why the clone did after breaking her out of jail, until she remembered he was still technically obedient to Prime. If Catra was still the Captain in his eyes, then her rules, at least, still mattered to him. 

Her first point still stood. Catra wasn’t awake to be annoyed at their unannounced visit.

The room inside was almost pitch black, save for the full-length window along the back wall, revealing the stars. It was a nice view, but Adora glanced past it to the bed, where Catra’s silhouette laid silent. 

Adora stood there in the dark at Catra’s bedside and imagined for a moment that she was sleeping. She was still wearing her Captain’s suit, with her sheets tucked neatly over her chest and underneath her arms. She looked peaceful, but eerily so, like a frozen river; where she expected life and movement, she found only stillness. 

The daydream left as soon as it came.

Adora looked down at the girl who used to be her friend, wondering how long she’d forgotten that fact. Catra’s hair, once long and tangled, was now cut short, perhaps so her helmet fit easier, or so she’d fit in better with the Horde. Adora liked how it looked, but not what it meant. Catra was all alone for months with nothing but clones to keep her company. The hair was the only real evidence, but Adora shuddered thinking of everything else she had to give up. 

Adora wasn’t much different. She hadn’t realized how much she’d lost surviving as long as she had. She thought about who she was a year ago, about the girl she’d left behind when the Rebellion fell. She thought she was still that girl, that she was still She-Ra, but she hardly recognized herself anymore. The cold had worn her down too much.

Adora’s guilt, that which had numbed itself in the snow, returned to the surface, spreading fast across her body. She had always been aware of Catra’s absence from her life, but only now, standing mere inches away, did Adora truly feel the distance between them. 

“I’m sorry, Catra,” Adora mumbled. She took one step closer. 

“Wait,” the clone whispered.

Adora froze up. “What?”

The clone motioned for Adora to step back, which she did, before brushing past her and examining the space around Catra’s bed with both hands. After a moment, Adora heard a short beep, then she was presented with a small, box-shaped device.

When Adora gave him a confused look, the clone explained, “A proximity sensor. Two had been tracking her.”

“Oh!” Adora pulled her hands close to her body on instinct. She’d been so distracted by seeing Catra again that she hadn’t even considered such a thing. She almost just got them both caught again. 

Adora glanced at Catra, then asked the clone, “Do you… have a name?”

Her eyes had adjusted enough to the dark to see the corner of his mouth turn up. “The Captain calls me Radio. I do not mind it. Two does not call me anything.”

Adora hid her smile at the thought of Catra giving nicknames to a whole crew of clones. After all this time, it was still Catra. 

Adora sighed. “She calls me Adora. Uh, I mean, that’s my name. Adora’s my name,” she stuttered.

“Adora…” Radio repeated. “Well, Adora. I suggest we collect the Captain and return to the hangar. Someone is bound to notice your absence soon.”

“Right.” Adora cleared her throat and faced the bed. “Let’s get you out of here,” she whispered.

As soon as Catra was gathered up in her arms, they rushed out of the dark and back into the sickening artificial light. 

Adora made for the hangar as fast as she could go while preserving stealth, which proved difficult with an entire Catra in her arms. Once again, she almost imagined the girl sleeping, but the way her head fell limp whenever unsupported quickly dispelled that notion.

Radio’s wrist lit up with a red light, accompanied by a shrill beeping noise. Adora had a good guess for what it meant, but he confirmed it for her: “They know you’ve escaped.”

At the next intersection, three clones ran into view, surprised to find one of their own running alongside the prisoners. Radio revealed a stun baton, which he jabbed forward, crumpling one clone to the floor. The other two hesitated and stood back, allowing Adora to rush past without breaking pace. 

“I apologize, brothers!” Radio called out in passing. “Everything will make sense in time!”

As they rounded the final corner, half a dozen clones were already stood in front of the hangar door. The way behind them was quickly blocked by another eight. 

The leader, the one Catra called Two, stepped out from the crowd. He looked much less amused than when it was Catra getting caught.

“Is this the reward for my mercy?” Two asked, addressing Radio. “I forgive your treachery once and yet here you are, standing against your own brothers.”

Radio sheathed his baton, then cleared his throat before stepping out to address the clones. 

“Brothers, I fear we have lost our way,” he started. “When we took our Captain prisoner, Prime spoke to me. He told me we had done wrong. All of this is wrong. Some of you must hear him too.” 

Radio spun around, searching for any hint of solidarity on the clones’ faces. Some shared looks, but none came forward. They looked afraid, either of him, or of Two. 

As for Two himself, his expression was cold as ice, showing no hesitation at the defector’s words. He waited for Radio to finish, then came forward to address the crowd himself. 

“Too long have we strayed from the light,” Two said, stepping closer. “Prime’s voice does not reach this cursed place, our former Captain here is proof enough of that. I assure you, brother, the voice in your head is not Prime’s. It is the silence. And the silence speaks only falsehoods.” He stopped only a few steps away. “We all hear the deceiver’s voice, but not all of us are naive enough to listen.”

Adora, who had her eyes locked on Two, failed to notice Radio’s change of composure. He stood with his head in his hands, mumbling to himself.

“No… I hear it. I hear his voice. Prime speaks to me…”

Two smiled, “It is only in a fool’s nature to act foolishly, so I am willing to forgive, brother,” then he pointed a finger at Adora, “but only if you renounce your alliance with the rebel and return to my side.”

Adora stood helpless, with nothing but an even more helpless Catra in her arms. 

“Listen, Radio,” Adora said, speaking low so Two couldn’t hear. She paused, fearing what words would come next. She searched for some kind of rationalization to combat Two’s, but even she didn’t know the source of the voice. 

When it came to logic, Two would always win. Radio was made to serve Prime, that was just objective fact. But Adora remembered everything it took for her to leave the Horde behind. She wasn’t told, she was shown. She’d seen what they’d done, felt their cruelty firsthand. 

The day Adora left the Horde, she wasn’t following orders. She chose to leave.

“Radio,” Adora said again. “Listen to Two, or listen to the voice. It’s up to you now.”

Radio lowered his hands, facing Adora with wonderment in his eyes. Between Prime and Two and the voice, he’d only ever followed. The idea of choice had never even occured to him. His panic washed out into quiet resolve, and though he still looked afraid, he stood tall. His hands shook as he unsheathed the baton from his belt. 

“You don’t control me anymore,” he said, facing down his superior.

Two narrowed his eyes, glanced at Adora, then scoffed.

“Fine.” He snapped his fingers. 

Fourteen clones rushed forward all at once. Stun batons crackled in the air. Adora held Catra close, yelling for Radio’s help. In the chaos, she couldn’t tell if the clone crying out was him or someone else. Stun batons snapped against her back. Pain flared across her body, her knees buckled, and she fell, taking Catra with her. 

A stun baton aimed for Adora hit Catra instead, striking her in the neck. 

Adora landed on her knees and found Catra awake in her arms, gasping for air. Her eyes shone blue and yellow. It was really her. As soon as they focused, they found Adora and nothing else. 

“Adora.” Catra locked eyes with her. So afraid. “What’s going on?”

And just like that, she was gone. The electricity faded out, her body stopped twitching, her eyes darkened and she fell limp again. 

“Catra?” Adora ignored the numbness in her limbs as she tried to shake Catra awake. But she was gone. 

Another stun baton snapped against the back of her neck. She fell over, barely conscious.

The first thing Catra saw after waking up was Adora. She didn’t care about anything else, yet she looked so afraid. That look in her eyes. The fear, the confusion, the trust. She was so scared, yet she stayed locked on Adora, trusting she’d keep her safe. 

All this time, all she needed was Adora. Then Adora left her behind.

Through blurred vision, she watched as Catra was pulled from her arms.

Catra always afraid, always getting left behind, over and over. 

The clones dragged Catra away. Always taking her away. 

Her whole body numb. Everything so cold. 

She looked so afraid. 

Warmth coursed through her body, shaking off the numbness. 

Clones flew in every direction as a blinding light lit up the hallway. Adora rose to her feet, standing tall, taller than any of them. Warmth coursed through her body and as it reached her fingertips, the hilt of a sword materialized in her hand. Her vision cleared, focusing on Catra, and the clones surrounding her. 

Adora swiped her sword through open air, forming two gleaming arcs of light. She charged forward and at her command, the arcs flew past her, striking Catra’s captors. They flew back and Adora caught Catra before she hit the floor. 

Adora turned back and watched Radio slowly get up from the floor, eyes wide. 

“She-Ra!” he breathed. 

Adora turned back around, facing down Two and whatever clones remained.

Two looked dumbfounded, but he did not hesitate. He reached for his stun baton and Adora repaid him with a kick to the head. 

With Catra in her arm, Adora tore through the crowd and into the hangar, following close by Radio. 

They stopped at the foot of the ship. Adora held out Catra, who Radio nervously took. “Get us out of here,” she said. Radio nodded and rushed aboard.

Adora spun around and found that whatever clones were still standing, none had it in them to face her. She turned instead to the rest of the hangar and the ship’s second scouting vessel. She used her full strength and swiped her sword across the open air, making six arcs. Upon her release, the shuttle was sliced to ribbons, not fully demolished, but unusable.

As the shuttle’s jets whirred to life, Adora stepped onto the ramp just in time to see Two rush into the hangar, clearly having just regained consciousness. He’d lost his last bit of composure. He looked furious. They made eye contact and as the ramp raised shut, Adora couldn’t help but smile a little. 

The shuttle rumbled as they entered outer space, allowing Adora to finally relax. She returned to her normal form, losing her sword, half her hair volume, and at least two full feet of height. She only realized her new outfit had pants as they were fading out, leaving her in shorts again. Catra said her clothes should be on the ship somewhere, but she was in no rush to look for them just yet. 

Adora entered the pilot’s deck, where Radio stood before a breathtaking view of Cyren Prime. Within its swirling mass of oranges and reds, she spotted the tiny speck of white that was Cyren-6. 

Overlooking the view, Adora set her sights on Catra, who Radio had leaned up against the control board. Before focusing fully on navigation, the pilot gave her a cursory glance, which she returned with a smile. He didn’t show it much, but he looked content, peaceful even. 

The ship rumbled, which caused Catra’s head to jostle, then tap against the metal. She wasn’t awake to feel it, but it didn’t look comfortable, so Adora sat down at her side and leaned the unconscious girl on her shoulder instead.

The hard part was far from over. But they made it. They escaped the Horde, and this time, they did it together. Whatever happened next, they’d be ready.

Adora closed her eyes and imagined one final time that everything was okay and Catra was fast asleep on her shoulder. This time, she almost believed it.