Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been six months since the earth was almost destroyed by a mad scientist, which was not an unusual occurrence for the Wachowski family. Since then, Tom had healed except for a slight pain in his shoulder and the boys seemed to be emotionally and physically recovered for the most part. They had spent the time enjoying each other's company to the fullest—camping trips every weekend, movie nights in, family cuddles in bed… This was the first weekend that they wouldn’t be all together. Tom had taken Ozzy and the boys to visit his parents for the weekend. It had taken some persistence, but Maddie finally convinced them that she should stay at home to do some house-sitting and have some me-time, she explained. Being a mom was taxing and Tom thankfully understood. 

Friday afternoon, when the boys, Tom, and Ozzy packed into the van after many goodbye hugs and kisses, Maddie quickly retreated into the house. As the van left the driveway, she turned every light out and pulled every curtain shut. She stationed herself on the living room couch, peering out the window right at the front porch. 

Maddie ignored how strange she felt waiting in the dark silently staring out into what appeared to be nothing at all. But she had to do this, she resolved. She had to know. 

Six months ago Shadow the Hedgehog died. Maddie hadn’t known much about this other hedgehog besides his allegiance to the Robotniks and his assault on Tom, so she was a little hesitant when Sonic insisted on having a symbolic funeral for him. Her son, almost to tears, explained Shadow’s history, his friend Maria, his change of heart, and his eventual sacrifice to save Earth. Maddie realized, much like her own sons, that Shadow was a kid who hurt a lot. But unlike her boys, he had no proper guidance, no place to call home, and no one to love him unconditionally. They held the funeral in their background and Sonic performed the eulogy, even though he only learned about the word ten minutes before. Maddie was proud of her sons’ empathy and maturity—even Knuckles refrained from punching anything unnecessarily. 

Five months ago gifts began showing up on their doorstep. Tom noticed the first time when he was leaving for work in the morning. It was a vase of flowers. No return address. The family spent the rest of the day puzzling over the gift until Tails suggested that it could be from GUN, which they all agreed could be entirely possible—the United States government wasn’t known for their amazing gift-giving and they did save the world from probable annihilation. Then one week later a box of chocolates. No return address. Maddie silently noted that they were locally made. They were eaten within the first five minutes. Every single Friday night for the last five months the Wachowskis were given candied nuts, more flowers, some rather nice tea towels, and one time a bottle of Merlot, which Tom hid before the boys could see. 

Maddie seemed to be the only one suspicious about these gifts. It seemed excessive to her, even for GUN, and any of her or Tom’s friends would have included a return address or any note. Tom was busy recovering and getting back to full-time sheriff of Green Hills and her boys seemed so caught up in the day-to-day excitement that they didn’t seem to notice the strangeness of it all. So, Maddie didn’t feel it necessary to bother with it, but she still couldn’t shake that something strange was happening. 

It was only a week ago that her suspicions were confirmed. While getting water at around two in the morning she noticed a flash of red light on the front porch. She almost dropped her glass running to the door to reveal…nobody. Only an assortment of snacks neatly assembled in a box. Maddie sighed and picked up the box; she didn’t want the raccoons getting to it before the boys had a chance. Though she hadn’t figured out who this mystery gifter was, she decided whoever it was could not have simply been a family friend or government body. They were far too elusive. But little did this mystery person know, that Maddie never backed down from a good challenge. 

So there she was sitting alone in the dark waiting for someone or something to place a nice bouquet or a fresh box of chocolates near the front door. It was getting late and this had been the least thrilling stakeout mission she had ever done. She rubbed her temples and looked at the clock. One in the morning. God, she’s been staring at nothing for hours.

Then a flash of red light erupted from outside. Shocking herself out of her stupor, Maddie squinted into the darkness. There stood a drenched hedgehog cradling a box. The rain had made his red streaks almost blend in with the rest of his black quills and fur, but there was no mistaking it. Shadow. She tried to level her breath, her heart was beating in her throat. Shadow slowly made his way up to the porch, looking pensive. This was her chance. Maddie shot up from the couch and flung the front door open only quick enough to see a flash of red light and a box clatter to the ground. 

Shadow was alive. And he lived in Green Hills and was secretly giving her family gifts? Maddie shook her head. There was no time to reason out the situation when Shadow could still be nearby. She stepped out onto the porch and called out into the night, “Shadow?” He could be anywhere by now. Still, she tried again, “Thank you for the, uh,” she looked down at the box of convenience store snacks now scattered across her porch. “Thank you for the gifts, Shadow! Hello?” Nothing but the sound of rain pattering on the steps and the wind rustling through branches. 

Maddie sighed and pulled her cardigan around her tighter. If she’s learned anything from her three boys—especially Sonic—is that sometimes you have to meet them halfway. So she stood in front of her open door looking up her gravel driveway and into the forest that surrounds her house. She’s already dealt with one stubborn hedgehog and she can do it again. 

A full half an hour later Maddie was ready to collect up the gift, call her plan a bust, and actually have a me-time weekend when a black and red hedgehog materialized ten feet from her porch. Shadow’s head was dipped low, his brows furrowed, and had what looked like to be a permanent frown on his face. He was clenching and unclenching his fists but he didn’t look angry, but instead…embarrassed. 

Mom Mode kicked in. “Isn’t it a little too rainy for this tonight?” Maddie called, hopefully, loud enough for him to hear. “Why don’t you come inside?” She gestured into the house. 

“I didn’t think anyone was home,” he admitted gruffly and so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him over the whistling of the wind. 

“Come inside,” Maddie offered again, trying to keep a steady smile. She shifted to the side to let him in. 

Even in the distance, she could see his brows furrowing, his eyes darting from the forest to the porch. Maddie held her breath. He’s sort of like a stray cat, she mused, any sudden movement would spook him to teleporting away again. She’ll be patient. Being patient has always been her best quality. It got her through vet school. It helped her raise her three crazy amazing boys. It helped her heal alongside her husband. 

Finally, Shadow looked up with determined eyes and began making his way to the front door. His shoes fell heavily on each step. When he moved into the light in front of Maddie and began picking up the scattered box of treats she could see how worse for wear he really looked. The rain had soaked through his quills and fur, making him shiver despite his stoic demeanor. He looked cold and wet…and sad. He looked too much like Sonic when she first saw him at Rachel’s house and it made her want to scoop him up into her arms and hold him until he felt warm and safe again. Better not, she thought, still, she smiled at the idea.  

Instead, she just took the box from his hands and handed him a towel, which he accepted cautiously. She looked down at his metal-lined shoes and thought about the newly-furnished floors: “Shoes off.” 

Leaving his shoes at the door and carefully drying his quills, Shadow followed Maddie into the kitchen, his eyes darting from wall to wall. Maddie saw him stop briefly at the family photos in the living room. She bit her lip when he paused on the one with her, Tom, and all of the boys at one of Sonic’s baseball games. Maybe picking up stray alien children was becoming a habit, but how could she not? He had nowhere else to go. 

She set the box on the island for now; she’ll have to ask Shadow eventually where he’s getting all of these gifts, she can’t imagine he has any money. But that’s for later. For now, she flicks on the overhead light in the kitchen and rests her elbows on the island looking at the mostly-dry flattened-eared hedgehog standing towel in hand in front of her. After a few years with Sonic, she picked up on some of his more physical quirks. Ears folded back means fear. Ears folded forward mean anxiety. A twitchy nose could be anything from impatience to irritation. Despite Shadow standing almost completely still, she felt like she could read him like a book. 

Maddie drummed her hands rhythmically on the counter and then spun around to open the fridge, hoping to lighten the mood a little and ease him up a bit. Shadow stayed stock-still but his eyes followed her to the refrigerator. Her eyes combed through the selection—homemade chili, grapes, sodas, Tom’s old birthday cake—then turned back to the hedgehog, “What can I get for you?”

“I am fine.” He said shortly. 

Maddie followed his eyes to the bag of coffee beans by the espresso machine. She never let Sonic drink coffee because he would be nonstop bouncing off the walls. But Shadow’s different. She began to casually make her way to the coffee machine. “Are you sure? ‘Cause I was just going to fix myself up something…” 

He cleared his throat, his muzzle a little pink. “Just coffee, please. Thank you.” 

“Decaf?” 

He nodded and she set the machine to work. She gestured for him to take a seat at the table and he did. 

“Milk? Sugar?” 

He shook his head. She handed him a mug and he took a sip. 

She made herself a mug with cream and sugar and took a seat at the table. Shadow had barely said a full sentence since she caught him outside. He wasn’t being difficult, she resolved, he’s probably just nervous. Now that she solved the mystery of the gift-giver, she has time on her hands to solve the mystery of Shadow…without scaring him away. Maddie smiled at him, hoping to look approachable and warm, “Well, thank you for all of the gifts, Shadow. They were very thoughtful.” 

Shadow immediately tensed up and looked away. “It’s the least I could do for what I have done.” He was gripping the ceramic mug so hard she thought it would break. 

“You’ve done more than enough,” Maddie reassured. “But, I’m not so sure Tom or Sonic knows that it was you who sent the gifts.” 

“I hope they enjoyed them nonetheless.” 

Maddie raised her eyebrows, a grin still on her lips. “I’m sure they would enjoy them more if they knew it was from you.” 

“I should leave,” Shadow announced, standing up, his chair scraping noisily on the floor. “I’ve overstayed my welcome. Thank you for the coffee.” 

Maddie abandoned her mug to follow him into the living room. She felt an anxious bubble form in her chest, she couldn’t just leave him like this. “You can’t go out there, it’s still raining!”

“I have a shelter,” he grumbled, still hastily making his way towards his shoes near the door.

“Where?” She asked. Shadow finally paused, turning to look quizzically at her. “If you tell me, I’ll feel much better about letting you go out in that weather.” 

He sighed, glancing down at the floor. “It’s a cave in the woods. It’s furnished…poorly. Someone has lived there previously. It’s dry, I’ll be fine.” 

Maddie burst out laughing, despite herself. Shadow looked downright shocked at her response. “Oh, Shadow, that was Sonic’s old cave.” 

“What?” His eyes met hers in shock. 

“Sonic hasn’t always lived with us,” Maddie explained. “He came to earth when he was very little and lived in secret in that cave for ten years. No one knew he existed. Well, except for this one guy—Crazy Carl—who called him the Blue Devil.” Shadow snorted humorously at that. Maddie smiled back at him. “No one believed Crazy Carl if you can believe that. It turned out that Sonic really was out there using his super speed all over town. But he was lonely. Sometimes… sometimes he would watch Tom and me and pretend we were a family, him and us. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to pretend anymore. And he doesn’t ever have to go to that cave anymore and neither do you.” She walked past him towards the stairs. “Come on, you’re a guest. You can stay in our guest room.” 

Shadow followed her upstairs wordlessly. “But Tom—” 

“He’s not coming back until Monday. He’s out with the boys for the whole weekend. It’s just me and you, kiddo.” 

“I don’t need to sleep,” he insisted. “I’m the Ultimate Lifeform.”

Maddie had no response to that. What does that mean? How could he believe that? Everyone needs sleep. Despite this, he followed her to the guest room. 

“My room is right down the hall if you need me,” Maddie says softly, turning off the hall light. “Goodnight, Shadow.” 

Shadow looks like he wants to say more, looking between Maddie and the guest bed. Instead, he steps into the room and right before the door is closed she hears a soft, “Goodnight, Mrs. Wachowski.”

Chapter Text

Despite his greatest efforts, Shadow had fallen asleep. He had gotten bored wandering the guest room—the parameters where he was allowed as a nighttime guest—picking up knickknacks and flipping through old magazines that he finally turned off the lights and burrowed under the sheets of the bed. He hadn’t slept in a bed for most of his life, not even counting the fifty years trapped in the cryo-tank. Mostly, he had only snuck into Maria’s bed when she had nightmares. It had been smaller than this one and objectively less comfortable, but this bed didn’t have her warmth.

He hadn’t even meant to fall asleep. One moment he was in bed debating if he should leave before Maddie noticed, the next he was waking up to light shining through the cracks in the curtain and a bustling downstairs. Shit.

Shadow supposes it’s not too late, as he made the bed exactly how it had been tidied before, he could always Chaos Control out of the guest room. Maddie doesn’t have to know he ever slept here or stayed the whole night. But comfort for Shadow is rare and in twelve hours Maddie has made an effort to make him happy and comfortable. Though he resolved not to burden her with his presence, he should properly thank her. And maybe take a coffee on his way out. And also find a different cave to live in.

Maddie had already set two mugs of coffee on the table when Shadow entered the kitchen. She turned away from the stove and smiled at Shadow when she saw him enter. “Take a seat! Breakfast’s almost ready.”

I don’t need to eat, almost came out of his mouth, but he sat at the table anyway, sipping the still-hot mug. “Thank you,” he responded instead.

Maddie’s hospitality is undeserved but at least he’s not alone. Again. No wonder Sonic loves his family so much. An ugly voice inside his head suggested that, possibly, Maddie misses Sonic and Shadow looks like him, somewhat. That’s why she’s being so kind to him. But he could never be Sonic. He could never be as happy, carefree, or naive. Sonic had friends and family, those he could love and trust, and Shadow had no one.

“The mug’s going to break if you hold it any tighter,” Maddie scolded, though she was smiling.

“Apologies.” He loosened his grip and Maddie placed a plate with a stack of pancakes in front of him. Shadow had never had pancakes, but Maria would have them on special occasions. More often, he and Maria would see idealistic families on television eating large stacks of pancakes for their overcrowded breakfasts, like the Brady Bunch. Maria would always laugh at Jan’s quips and sigh at Greg Brady, an infatuation Shadow never understood. (Shadow personally always felt most akin to Peter.)

“Oh, none of that,” said Maddie, slipping into her chair with an impressive stack. She took a bite and Shadow mirrored her. “Did you get some sleep?”

“I did, thank you,” he replied. Maddie was cutting her pancakes into triangles so Shadow did the same.

Maddie was silent for a moment. Maybe she was hoping he would say something more. His eyes drifted over the box on the kitchen island, left there from last night. Maybe something about the gifts. Shadow was almost convinced that Maddie had mind-reading abilities when she finally said, “That bottle of wine was very generous of you.” Shadow was going to acknowledge her compliment but she continued. “It’s a shame that you need to be twenty-one or older to buy it.”

Shadow freezes, fork halfway to his mouth. He’s not stupid, he knows what she means. Did you steal those gifts? The obvious, and truthful, answer is yes. He sets the fork down and looks at his hands, willing himself not to Chaos Control out of the United States. He needs to own up to his mistakes now instead of running away from them.

“Shadow, you didn’t need to steal stuff for us.” Shadow looked up. Instead of being angry, Maddie looked..consoling. Before delivering the final blow, Maddie instead chose to be merciful—like mother, like son. “I just want to know why you felt like you had to.”

After Maria and Gerald’s death, Shadow realized he had nothing. But Sonic, the only creature on Earth that could match him and empathize with him, had everything. Exhausted and anxious to find comfort, Shadow found himself following Sonic and his family back to Green Hills, Montana. He could apologize for his mistake with any means necessary for atonement, and then finally have a friend that could understand him. Maybe he could be accepted like Sonic, the large red echidna, and the little fox are, despite the strangeness of the group. Maybe if he worked hard enough he could have friends and family that loved and cared for him too.

At first, Shadow decided that he shouldn’t approach the family right away. Tom’s injuries were still fresh, therefore so was their animosity toward him, he figured. Instead, he decided to stay in the shadows of the forest and contemplate the best way to apologize to the Wachowskis. In that time, he witnessed Sonic’s extraordinarily sappy eulogy for Shadow that the blue hedgehog cried through the entire time, Sonic’s baseball games that he surprisingly played fair at, Sonic’s runs across the whole town and back, Sonic’s fights with his brothers (and eventual sappy make-ups), Sonic’s disgusting chili dog consumption, Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. Before he knew it, everything about his life revolved around Sonic. More importantly, Sonic’s happiness. Shadow learned that three things make Sonic the happiest: cheering up his parents, artery-clogging treats, and a good surprise. So, Shadow set to work on the best apology, surprise gifts for Sonic and his parents. And if his brothers enjoyed them, it was just a bonus. He had meant to set out only two or three gifts, but the game quickly became addicting watching Sonic’s face light up as he watched him discover the gift from a corner of a window. It felt like he had a purpose again, even though Sonic didn’t know it was from him.

Shadow can concede that his attempts at reconciliation had gotten out of hand and admittedly lost its original purpose. “After all I had done, it was the least I could do.”

“Oh, honey, it’s okay,” Maddie said sympathetically. “But I do think that Tom and Sonic would appreciate your gifts even more if they knew it was coming from you. Then you won’t have to go through all of this trouble anymore.”

Shadow nodded and took a long sip of coffee. He didn’t want to face Tom and Sonic and he didn’t want Maddie to know that either.

“Could you pass the syrup, please?” Maddie gestured to the bottle on the other side of the table.

Shadow, grateful for the change in conversation, reached for the bottle. As his hand almost grabbed the bottle, a sudden jolt of scathing pain shot through the ribcage. He winced and pulled his arm back. Shadow recognized this as a mistake when Maddie shot to her feet, concern washing over her face. “I’m fine,” he tried to reassure her, holding the side of his chest, now a dull ache. “I heal quickly.”

“Is that from the fall?”

The one from space? Most certainly. Shadow looked away and said nothing.

“Six months ago.”

Shadow sighed. He felt his ribs. Definitely broken. How had he not noticed before?

“That doesn’t sound too quick to me.” Maddie raised an eyebrow. “May I take a look?”

In other circumstances, Shadow would immediately say no. A woman who he has barely known for twenty-four hours touching him? Absolutely not. But he remembered from his…research that Maddie was a doctor for animals, as well as for Sonic and the others. Maybe she will provide him with a remedy to hasten his healing abilities.

He stood as still as possible while Maddie kneeled in front of him gently pressing her fingers around his ribcage. She rose and sighed, “Those breaks are pretty serious. I might need to get a better look at this with an X-ray.”

Shadow somehow found himself in the passenger seat of a car on the way to a place Maddie called “the vet clinic.” He shifted in his seat, trying to stop himself from pulling off the uncomfortable strap across his chest. Just feel lucky that I’m not putting you in the booster seat, Maddie had warned when he had first refused to put on the seatbelt. Shadow had no idea what that meant but he wasn’t in the mood to be in another restraining device.

The vet clinic, Shadow quickly learned, was not at all like the sterile procedure rooms at the GUN facility. As Maddie hurried him into the building, he noticed posters with bug-eyed animals and inane puns like “Stay paw-sitive!” and “Everything whale be okay” lined the walls. Much like the scientists, the clinic staff busied themselves in and out of doors but they wore turquoise or bright pink scrubs. An older woman was coddling her shivering small canine, a young man with a small cage on his lap, and a lady with thick-rimmed glasses at a desk clacking away at a computer.

“Hey Jen!” Maddie greeted the computer lady.

She looked up, slightly surprised. “Madeline. I thought you had the weekend off.”

“I do. We’ve got a bit of an emergency on our hands,” Maddie gestured down to Shadow. The computer lady leaned over her desk, looking Shadow up and down. Shadow stared back with an equally unimpressed expression. He was not going to be intimidated by a woman with glasses larger than her face. “We have to visit Michelle in the X-ray labs. Do you know if she’s got a free hour now?”

The computer lady shifted back, computer keys clacking at a rapid speed. “She does. I just messaged her that you’re here. You’re all good to go,” she said without looking up.

“Thanks, you’re the best, Jen.” Maddie gave an undeserved smile to Computer Lady.

“Don’t I know it.” Shadow heard as he followed Maddie out of the room.

Maddie led him through a set of double doors and then a long hallway. When clinic staff passed them in the hallway they pleasantly greeted Maddie and acknowledged Shadow with a smile or a wave or a “Hey there, buddy!”. He didn’t know how to respond. None of the adults had ever spoken to him like that in the facility. He kept his gaze on the floor, carefully following Maddie’s pace.

They arrived at an open door labeled “Radiography” and inside was a woman wearing turquoise holding a machine over a padded blue table. She smiled when she noticed them at the door, “Hey Maddie! Another emergency X-ray?” She turned her attention to Shadow, who was not hiding behind Maddie’s legs, just…strategically situating himself in an unknown environment. “Who’ve we got here today?”

Maddie stepped in when Shadow didn’t speak up, “This is Shadow. He’s just got a little rib injury. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“You and your crazy boys always getting into trouble,” the woman said, shaking her head and a smile playing on her lips. She patted the top of the table with her gloved hand, “Why don’t you take off your shoes and hop up here?”

As he laid down on the cushioned table, Shadow recalled the X-rays at the facility; every bone in his body accounted for, every vein, every muscle. The squishy surface in this vet clinic was nothing like the cold steel he was usually placed on for testing. The process was mostly painless, except for when Michelle told him that he either had to raise his arms above his head for the X-ray or take off his inhibitor rings. Not particularly wanting the building to explode from his own carelessness, he raised his arms, ignoring the brief twinge of pain. As the woman worked the machine hovering above his chest, Shadow tried not to think about why Maddie didn’t correct the woman when she offhandedly lumped him in with “her boys.”

Afterward, Maddie thanked the woman and led Shadow to her office. The room wasn’t too different from the X-ray room, with a blue padded table, computer, and informative posters suggesting ways to maintain your pet’s health. The greatest difference was the multitudes of photos of Maddie’s family and crude drawings that appear to be made by Sonic and others. A Mother’s Day card taped to the wall next to the computer signed “Love, Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Tom, and Ozzy.” A photo of Tom with Sonic on his shoulders. A candid of Maddie herself kissing Tom on the cheek. Shadow looked away.

“You can take a seat,” Maddie said without taking her eyes off the screen. Shadow realized that he hadn’t moved from the doorway and immediately sat in the chair next to Maddie. She turned to him, tilting her head slightly. “You’ve been quiet. I hope you’re not offended that I took you to the vet clinic instead of a hospital. It’s a lot quicker and cheaper this way. Plus this is where all my boys get check-ups.”

“I don’t mind.” He doesn’t. He appreciates the brevity of the visit and the vet clinic is far less tedious and cold than the facility. “I apologize for the inconvenience, Mrs. Wachowski.”

Maddie looked a bit taken aback, “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s my job, you know. Let’s take a look at these pictures now.” She turned the computer screen towards him showing a black and white X-ray of Shadow’s chest. Four broken ribs. “This doesn’t look too good but the fractures don't appear to be puncturing your lungs. If you heal as quickly as you say you do, you’ll be completely fine in a couple of days. In the meantime, no quick movements or strenuous activities, which do include super speed and teleportation. Here,” she reached into a drawer and pulled out a small capped bottle. “For the pain.”

Shadow took the bottle and tried to open it but the lid wouldn’t come off. He tugged it again. Just as he was about to smash the stupid cap in, Maddie took the bottle back and opened it for him, looking amused. “Child lock.” She explained, handing him a pill and setting the rest of the bottle on the table. “You need a low dosage, so only take one in the morning and one at night with water. I’ll get you some, I’ll be right back.”

When Maddie left the room, Shadow briefly considered throwing out the capsule and leaving. It seemed useless to him for her to go through all of this trouble for him. An alien weapon that hurt her husband and her son. Michelle’s words before made his stomach churn; he wasn’t her boy. She didn’t know anything about him. Yet, she is earnestly trying to make him feel cared for. It reminded him of Maria, her kindness felt undeserved too. He had told her this once and she rolled her eyes dramatically and said, It’s not because I feel like I have to, it’s because I want to, silly. You’re my friend. He’s not making Maddie do all of this for him, he tells himself, she wants to do this for whatever reason he cannot imagine. He cradles the pill in his hand and waits.

Maddie rushes in a moment later with a paper cup. After Shadow takes the pill Maddie reaches behind her computer and pulls out a jar with what appears to be candies on sticks wrapped with paper of various colors. “It’s just a treat for doing a good job. I always have them for the boys’ visits.” He takes the red one. When Maddie looks at him expectantly he unwraps the candy and takes a bite. It’s pleasantly sweet and very crunchy but not impossible to consume. When he asked why Maddie was laughing she just said: “That’s how Knuckles eats them too.”

When they left the vet clinic Maddie insisted that Shadow join her for lunch. Despite the reasonably concerned voice in his head, Shadow agreed; she had made it sound too much like he was doing her a favor. Didn’t she know what Shadow is? What he was made for? Doesn’t she know that the more time she insists they spend together the less he wants to leave? He almost ripped her family apart and he has the capabilities to do it again. Maybe she doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation. He waited until Maddie had gathered their food and sat down across from him at a table to confront her. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. I hurt your husband. I almost destroyed Sonic.”

She chewed on her sandwich thoughtfully and then asked, “Well, why did you?”

Shadow grits his teeth. Doesn’t she get it? “Why does it matter? I hurt them.”

He looked up and saw that Maddie didn’t look angry, just curious. She had even put her sandwich down. “When the boys get into fights, say Knuckles breaks some contraption that Tails has been working on, it might seem like Knuckles did something bad for no reason. But sometimes it is for a reason or it could also be a mistake. Either way, it would be unfair of me to just decide to punish Knuckles without knowing the circumstances, right? I wouldn’t know if I didn’t ask for the truth. Then we can work on fixing it.”

“I suppose so.” Shadow never had to explain himself before, he had never been assessed for his intentions, only his actions. “I had thought that it was Walters who had the key, not Tom.”

She nodded. “Tails’ disguises. They were convincing, huh?”

“Yes, they were,” Shadow remembered his confusion when Walters had transformed into a man whom he had not known. “Walters was an employee of GUN. He was there when Maria was killed,” he explained. Then he admitted, “I don’t know what I would have done if I knew it was Tom.”

“I think it’s best to not think about any what-ifs.”

“He could have died.”

“What did I just say about what-ifs?” Maddie said with a raised eyebrow. “Listen, I can’t say that I wasn’t angry and afraid when Tom was injured but that’s what happens when you love someone gets hurt. When things happen to people we love we can act a little crazy sometimes. What matters right now is that Tom is healthy and healing. And it takes more than a punch to take out my husband.”

Shadow nodded. If trying to take down the entire Earth with him could be considered “a little crazy” then he supposed he agreed.

“Plus Tom knew that there were risks. He was there because he loves to help people, especially if those people happen to be our kids. He’s not someone who usually holds grudges to people who make mistakes.” She paused to eat a fry and passed Shadow the basket. “And Sonic?”

Shadow recalled meeting Sonic, who was not at all like the Sonic he now knows. “He tried to get in the way. I thought he was a pawn of GUN. Then he tried to stop me and the Doctor from avenging Maria. But I think we understand each other now.”

“He thinks you died six months ago.” Maddie pointed out.

“I know.”

“Why don’t you try to be his friend?”

“He has friends.”

“Yes…but he likes you.” Maddie smiled knowingly. Then she whispered, “He can’t stop talking about you.”

He likes you repeated in Shadow’s head like a broken record. He thought that Sonic only talked about sports and bad movies and chili dogs. The concept that Sonic thought about him made him feel queasy, his pulse accelerating.

“So. It seems there’s more to the story than just hurting people.”

How could she be so forgiving? “Still, my actions are inexcusable.”

“Shadow, look at me.” Her expression is serious. She’s leaning in towards him. “No one is angry with you. We want to understand you, that’s why I asked. You are more than what you’ve done. You are strong and brave, and you have such a big heart even if you don’t realize it. Not to mention you are the politest hedgehog I have ever met—don’t tell Sonic I said that.”

Shadow wishes he could say anything that remotely matched the measure of kindness of Maddie’s words but all he could manage to say was: “Thank you. Sonic is very lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one here. And thank you, Shadow.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Well, for one, you had lunch with me. I’m happy you’re here. I would have been so bored this weekend.”

Shadow wants to believe her. He doesn’t want to think about what will happen after this weekend when Tom and Sonic inevitably arrive home. From what he has observed in the last six months, the family is accustomed to their own sort of routine and harmony. Maddie and Tom have their hands full of three kids and a dog, both working on top of it all. At least at the facility, he had a use. He knew his place. He was a weapon to Gerald, an experiment to the scientists, and a friend to Maria. No matter how objectifying, it was never complicated or confusing. The family all has their roles. Maddie the mother and doctor, Tom the father and sheriff, Sonic the hero, Tails the inventor, and Knuckles the protector of the Chaos Emerald. Shadow is nothing now. He hadn’t thought about life outside of the facility without Maria.

Maddie interrupted his racing thoughts. “Got any plans for tonight? I was thinking of making a popcorn dinner and watching those trashy reality shows that Tom hates.”

He managed a small smile. “I suppose I could clear up my schedule.”

On the way to the Wachowski house, they stopped at the grocery store and Shadow insisted on carrying the bags back to the car. (“You’re not supposed to be lifting heavy things.” Maddie had scolded. Shadow didn’t budge, holding three bags in each hand. “I am the Ultimate Lifeform. This isn’t heavy for me.” Maddie only rolled her eyes in response but didn’t argue.) Afterward, Maddie decided to take the scenic route around Green Hills. She pointed out her family’s campsite, the field where Sonic plays baseball, and the ice cream shop they frequent. Shadow doesn’t tell her he already knows all of this. Eventually, she just turns the radio up and Shadow lets the forest around him blend into a lovely blur of evergreen. In that moment, he is relieved that the Earth is saved and that he gets to experience it.

That night, after a couple of hours of brain-rotting reality television (which didn’t seem all that real to Shadow) and eating too much popcorn, going back to the cave didn’t even cross his mind. Instead, as he lay down in the guest bedroom for a second time, he wished this weekend could last forever.

Chapter Text

Maddie was having a wonderful dream when she was abruptly woken by a familiar tapping on her bedroom door. She rubbed her eyes and glanced over at the bedside clock. Nearly three in the morning. “Oh, Lord.” She sighed to herself, threw an arm over her eyes, and then called out a little louder: “Come on in.” 

The door creaks open and behind a pair of burgundy eyes peer out, illuminated by the moonlight peeking out from the curtains. “Are you awake?”  

Maddie sat up on her elbows with some effort. “I’m awake now, baby, what’s up?” 

“I need assistance with the coffee machine.” 

Telling Shadow to go to bed and wait until the morning is a little tempting. However, she has been woken up in the middle of the night for worse reasons than needing coffee. And, hell, this is the first thing Shadow has asked from her. She rolled out of bed and grabbed her bathrobe. 

“Thank you for waking me up instead of breaking my Nespresso machine,” Maddie said offhandedly as she leaned on the marble top of the island, watching Shadow perched on a stool sipping on a hot cup of decaf. She thought that since she missed the baby phase of raising kids it also meant she got to skip the sleepless nights. Still, she wouldn’t have it any other way. She snorted, pressing a hand to her head. “Now that would have made Tom real mad.” 

She didn’t miss the way Shadow’s ears drooped, his eyes staring dead into the coffee mug. Her heart dropped to her stomach. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You know what I always tell my boys? Objects are replaceable, you are not. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are safe and healthy.” He didn’t respond to her short mom-ologue. Not even a nod. When she noticed his hands were shaking she was at his side instantly. “Shadow, what’s wrong?” 

“After Maria’s death, I was deemed too dangerous for society. GUN imprisoned me in a cryogenic tank where I lived in an unconscious state.” Maddie nodded along, her eyes fixed on his pained expression. Sonic had told her this but it meant so much more coming from Shadow. “The entire time I was plagued by her death. I watched her die over and over again. Each time I tried to save her but I couldn’t.”

Her heart ached for him. It felt hopeless to reason with a child who feels so responsible for another’s death. “It wasn’t your fault, Shadow. Some things are out of our hands.” Then she asked, “Did you have a nightmare about her?” 

He nodded. His hands had stopped shaking, but his eyes were still fixed down, his breathing still shallow and uneven. 

“I’m here to listen.” She said quietly. “If you want to talk about it.” 

When he didn’t respond, Maddie searched his face for any recognition. This wasn’t the first time she had to deal with nightmares. Sonic more recently would crawl into her and Tom’s bed to make sure they were still alive and safe. Tails had come crying to her in the middle of the night, practically inconsolable for over an hour, until they fell asleep together on the couch. Knuckles’ were by far the most complicated; he would never wake her or Tom up, but once or twice she found him pacing the perimeter of the house with heavy bags under his eyes. And now Shadow, who knew everything and nothing all at once. Who, like Knuckles and Sonic, witnessed death and never fully recovered. Her boys were learning how to be good brothers, while Shadow was just learning how to be. 

Shadow finally spoke just above a whisper. “She should be alive. She should have been able to grow up and experience life. Without her, I feel like there’s nothing left.” 

She understands. For her, it's impossible to imagine a life without Tom. Without any of her kids. She had to imagine this bleak future as she left with Tom in the ambulance leaving her poor kids to deal with two evil scientists and a doomsday device. It was the hardest decision she had ever made but she was the only one that could provide the proper medical information to save Tom’s life. She needed to be with him. During the entire event, it felt like she had been walking on air. All of the hurt from witnessing Tom lying on the ground had gone numb. Her head spinning with everything that could save Tom’s life: his blood type is Type A; he’s allergic to aspirin, don’t give him any under any circumstance; he has a family history of heart disease; yes, I know the medication he takes; no, he does not have a DNR… She remembered the relief she felt when the doctor had told her that Tom was alive despite the blunt force trauma to his chest and shoulder that “crushed his insides into bone and intestine stew.” After two anxiety-inducing surgeries, he was in stable condition. Maddie had cried herself to sleep that night when none of her boys answered their phone. 

After several long discussions, many apologies, and a plethora of bone-crushing hugs, the boys understood what exactly had happened when she left. But, from the bottom of her heart, she knew even if they did lose Tom he would want them to celebrate life, not dwell on his absence. He would want them to help people, like he did. Thankfully, she didn’t have to live through this hypothetical, but Shadow did. 

“You know…” Maddie bit her lip. “Honoring someone’s memory doesn’t mean you have to give up your own life. Maria sounds like she was a really good friend. Really good friends want you to be happy. And as someone who is here with you, right here right now, I want you to do things not just to make Maria happy but to make you happy, Shadow.” 

“I don’t know what to do.” The raw honesty almost makes her cry.

“Hey, none of that. We don’t have to figure it out all at once. One step at a time, right?” 

When he finished his coffee she led him back upstairs to her room. When her boys couldn’t fall asleep she read to them until they eventually passed out. Usually, it only took a page or two. She suggested this to Shadow and he hesitantly crawled into her bed, situating himself an arm's length away. 

Closing his eyes, he murmured, “Maria used to read to me.” 

Maddie pulled herself away from Shadow’s arms to grab The Princess Bride. It was her favorite as a child and was excited to share it with her boys. Her bookmark was stuck halfway through but for Shadow, she flipped to the first page.

This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it. How is such a thing possible? I'll do my best to explain. As a child, I had simply no interest in books. I hated reading, I was very bad at it, and besides, how could you take the time to read when there were games that shrieked for playing…

Barely halfway through the second page, Shadow had fallen asleep, his head had fallen on her shoulder sometime at the end of page one. As slowly as possible, Maddie set the book down on the bedside table and turned off the lamp. Her bedroom door was still open but she couldn’t be bothered to close it. She slid down carefully into her sheets until her head hit the pillow. Shadow was still out cold, pressed against her arm. Maddie let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Mom one, panic attack-inducing nightmares zero. 

She didn’t fall asleep. She couldn’t. What if she fell asleep and Shadow had another nightmare? What if he left and got hurt again? She let her irrational thoughts consume her while Shadow lay still next to her, his breathing finally even. Eventually, the sun was fully in the sky and she had to accept her less than eight hours of sleep for the day. Nothing a double espresso and yoga couldn’t fix. 

When she tried to subtly slip out of bed Shadow instantly woke up, back straight, ears fully alert. He tried to apologize for falling asleep in her bed but Maddie waved him off and ushered him downstairs before he could say another word. Despite the angst of the night before, the morning welcomed them with sunny skies and the smell of pine in the air. Maddie even let Shadow try her double espresso latte. When his eyes widened, stars practically dancing in them, she felt compelled to make him one too. When they finished their drinks, Maddie grabbed her laptop for some morning yoga, letting Shadow use Sonic’s yoga mat. However, after a rather challenging attempt at the flying crow pose, she had to switch to a more basic video. (“I can handle it,” he said between his clenched teeth, his arms trembling. He collapsed not a second later.) Sonic was still learning too, she told him. He huffed at that, probably offended by the comparison. 

By ten, Maddie’s fatigue had been replaced by stomach-gnawing hunger. She glanced at Shadow. He seemed far more relaxed compared to last night. She looked back at the newly purchased groceries in the fridge. She had the best idea. “Are you ready?” 

He looked around and then back to Maddie. “To do what?”

“To learn how to cook!” Finally, a kid who can calmly and carefully follow instructions. (She shivered at the memories of attempting to teach Sonic and Knuckles how to cook. Tom scraping batter off of the ceiling, the burning smell lingering in the kitchen for weeks… Maybe she’ll try again in a couple of months.) She finds a lot of joy in teaching her kids things that she loves to do. Cooking, yoga, complicated board games…all of which unfortunately require the patience that most teenage boys do not have quite yet. Shadow seems to be an exception. “Part of my job is teaching my kids how to be good adults. And part of that is knowing how to be self-sufficient.” 

“I don’t need to eat.” 

Maddie forced herself not to roll her eyes. Not this again. She’s not having a kid neglect himself on her watch. “Well…what about if you have guests over?” Shadow just looked at her confused. “When you have a house of your own someday, you’ll probably have guests over that do get hungry. How are you going to feed them? And there are some things you like, don’t you? You can have things because you like them and for no other reason.” She put her hands on her hips, daring Shadow to argue.

She couldn’t contain her smile when he asked, “What are we making?” 

Shadow was the perfect sous chef. When he got over the indignation of using a stepping stool, he had a real knack for cooking. He was quick at learning and meticulous when he wanted to be. In the end, they had a full spread of sausages, fruit salad, and a feta-bacon frittata. Shadow ate most of it and then asked Maddie to show him how to use the coffee machine. 

It was around one in the afternoon when they finished their breakfast-turned-brunch and Maddie had almost run out of ideas to keep Shadow occupied. At this point in the day, she would have probably made the boys do their homework that they’ve been putting off all weekend and then let them run around outside for a while. She wracked her mind for anything at all that was open on a Sunday afternoon. 

Maddie used to volunteer pretty frequently before the boys. Nowadays she tries to make it there at least once a month, which isn’t nearly as often as she would like. She found volunteering at the shelter to be fulfilling. Maybe this could be a way for Shadow to show that he can help others, even in small ways, and create an identity for himself. Plus it won’t hurt to hang out with puppies for a couple of hours. 

Shadow didn’t know what to make of the shelter at first. Maddie had explained to him what animal shelters are for and what they do and volunteering is another way of saying that you’re helping. That “volunteering” in this context just meant interacting with the shelter animals. When they arrived an employee showed them to a group of older dogs that were content with their company and some ear scratches. Shadow seemed a little more okay with the idea as soon as he realized that the older dogs were much quieter than some of the ones they passed in the kennels. 

Maddie found herself sitting on the ground with two dogs in her lap. Shadow was leaning away from a dog twice his size trying to lick his face and another one was nudging the treats in his hand with its nose. “I don’t understand how this is helping.” 

“These animals don’t get a lot of attention because there's a lot of them and only a couple of people that work here. If they feel neglected, they can get depressed. We’re helping by making them happy and feel cared for until they’re adopted.” 

The dog by his hand successfully managed to nip the treat out of Shadow’s grip. Shadow gave the rest of the treats to the dog and moved closer to Maddie. “What if they don’t get adopted?” 

“Well, sometimes they just stay here a really, really long time. Sometimes they have to be put to sleep but this shelter does its best to prevent that.” 

“That’s not fair.” One of Maddie’s dogs moved into Shadow’s lap, he gently put a hand on its body. “They don’t get a choice in the matter.” 

“I know. Most of them do get adopted, thankfully. But that’s why I like to volunteer here. They can’t stick up for themselves, so I try to do it for them. I used to also provide free veterinary services before I had the boys. I wish I still could but it's way too time-consuming. I had to pick between either treating a dog or being a present mom. Sometimes we have to choose who we can help or how we can make a positive impact.” 

Shadow frowned but didn't respond.  

She continued, “There are lots of ways to be a volunteer. Tom volunteers at the food pantry—that means free food—and sometimes Sonic likes to volunteer for the junior baseball team until he gets sick of the little kids climbing all over him. You can commit to a lot of volunteering or a little bit, it’s up to you.” She bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if she should bring it up. “I know lots of people that volunteer at the children’s hospital.” Shadow's ear twitched. “It can be intense and very, very sad but those kids need some distraction while they’re there. I take the boys over the holidays to help out.” Maddie smiled to herself. She really did have some good kids. 

Shadow was staring down at the dog slobbering on his shoe. “And what does ‘helping out’ entail?”

“Oh, you know, playing games, hanging out, goofing off without getting too rowdy. They’re just like any other kids, they’re just sick. The hospital can get pretty boring for them and they can get depressed too.” Maddie looked over at Shadow. He looked pensive, his hand resting firmly on the back of a sleeping dog. “Sometimes being helpful isn’t just saving the whole world but making other people, or animals, happier and safer.”

Shadow’s brows furrowed contemplatively. God, she wishes she knew what was going on in that head. 

When Shadow’s ears started to get droopy Maddie knew that it was time to go. The dogs whined as she stood up but Maddie quietly promised them that she’d be back soon. 

The last thing Maddie wanted to do after today was cook and when Shadow confessed that he’s never had pizza, it was the perfect excuse to order in. (“Did they ever feed you?” Maddie couldn’t help herself from asking. “They didn’t need to,” was his only response. “I can be sustained on supplements and vitamins alone.”) Maddie ordered two medium pizzas and let Shadow choose the toppings. When they got home, she set up blankets to sit on in the TV room and took off the pillows on the couch to make the world’s most comfortable pizza pit. Maddie decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to show Shadow one of her favorite movies. 

Unfortunately, it only took fifteen minutes before Shadow had complaints. “Why is it so hard to imagine a friendship between Harry and Sally? The premise is idiotic.” He looked personally offended as he took another bite of the pizza. Maddie smiled to herself and didn’t mention that Sonic complained about that too when she tried showing it to him. 

So much for Shadow having Maddie’s taste in movies, she’ll just leave that to Knuckles. Maddie put on Die Hard instead, which turned out to be a good decision for the most part. Shadow barely blinked through the duration of the film while Maddie endured McClane coming back from the dead for the billionth time. Maybe he and Sonic could bond over their macho-man movies so she can finally be relieved from rewatching them. God help her if she had to sit through all of the John Wick movies again. 

When the credits rolled, Shadow straightened his back and turned to Maddie. “I’ve thought about what you said about volunteering at the hospital. I would like to do that.” Maddie kept her surprise to herself. She thought the whole outing was a complete misfire but she’s happy he got something out of it. “But—” He cuts himself off, turning away from Maddie. 

“But…?” Maddie prompts.

Shadow’s gaze pointed downwards, searching for words. “I don’t know if I would be a…good caretaker. I wasn’t made for that.” 

Maddie cocked her head. “What does that mean?” 

“I was made to be studied. Used for my energy. To be a weapon. That’s what I’m good for. I wasn’t made for helping others.”

“What? That’s not even close to being true. You’re good at a lot of other things. Being patient, for one. You’re thoughtful and you put the people and things you care about first.” Maddie realized a while ago that it’s going to take a lot more than one weekend of coddling to get all of the bullshit out that’s been hammered into his head. Just like her other boys, Shadow needs habitual reassurance. “You’ve also helped me a lot. You have been a very good house guest.” 

“When Tom returns—” 

“When Tom gets back you can stay.” She interrupted. 

“I can’t.”

“You can.” She insisted. “I would like you to. I think everyone else would too.” 

He started looking around frantically, sparks of energy cracking around his quills. Oh, God. Deescalate. Deescalate now. Maddie took a deep breath. “Do you need a hug?” 

To her surprise, Shadow rasps yes before deflating and falling into her arms. She doesn’t know how long she sat there holding him on the floor surrounded by cold pizza and drowning in the light of the TV. Shadow’s not crying, Maddie realizes, just holding on to her for dear life. She lowers her cheek onto his quills. Just taking it one day at a time.

Chapter Text

An incessant chirping at the window wakes Shadow up, causing him to bury his face further into the pillow searching for a few more moments of peace. In an instant, he sits up fully awake. He’s in the guest bedroom without recollection of how he got there. His ear flicked in annoyance as he tried to retrace his steps. Last night he and Maddie watched one and a quarter movies and ate pizza on the living room floor. The pizza had been both disgustingly greasy and addictive, so he ate almost the whole pie. When Harry Met Sally was stupid, Die Hard was amusing—he had watched part of the film stealthily from the living room window several months ago. Sonic had been bouncing up and down at the action scenes directly in front of the television screen, much to the annoyance of the echidna and Tom. 

After that…after that, Shadow realized how little time he had left with Maddie and spoke in desperation. But he couldn't remember what he said, only what Maddie’s arms felt around him. He buried his face in his hands when he realized that she probably carried him upstairs into bed. He slapped his hands on his flushed face. Get a grip. He’s been entirely too comfortable. Maddie is Sonic’s, not his. How dare he, the one who almost windowed Maddie, entitle himself to her time and energy. 

Nevertheless, Maddie’s offer to stay is enticing. She made the situation sound so easy, but Shadow knows better. Maddie insists that Tom is forgiving, but he hadn't looked upset at Shadow’s fake funeral. Nor did he look pleased whenever Sonic mentioned Shadow thereafter. Shadow must prepare himself for a truce with Tom, but he cannot let his guard down. It would be strategic for Tom to strike back when Shadow’s least expecting it. 

He sighs, laying back down. Life was simpler when he was with Maria. He had an identity. He had a routine. He had a friend. He knew what was expected of him and he did what he was told. But unlike with Maddie, he was never allotted any comforts, nobody but Maria thought to give him any. He was an immortal vessel of energy, why would he ever need to be comfortable? 

He thought back to the last two nights with Maddie—the vet, the coffee, the bedroom, the book, the hug. She treated Shadow like how Gerald had treated Maria. It was frivolous. It meant everything to him. But Shadow has learned that others are unpredictable and fickle. Maddie could be easily swayed by the opinions of Tom, after all, he was her husband and Shadow was nothing close to as precious. He should have savored the time he had with Maddie when he could. He didn’t deserve it, but selfishly he craved it like a moth to a flame. This yearning will be his destruction if he’s not careful enough. 

Shadow notes the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen. Enough with these thoughts of comfort and predictability. He has decided to follow through with an apology, and he intends to do so no matter the outcome. 

Downstairs Maddie was already sitting at the table in her bathrobe. She hadn’t noticed him yet. He paused before making himself known. It was an unnaturally cozy scene to Shadow, the morning sun beaming onto the walls, everything from the chairs to the mug sitting on the table well-used. She had already poured him a cup of coffee. It was sitting at the same spot as yesterday and the morning before. Shadow’s forced a feeling of habit and expectation down, he can’t get used to something that can easily be taken away. 

“‘Morning,” she greeted him when he sat down. “Did you get some sleep?” 

He took his place at the table, “I did. Thank you, Mrs. Wachowski.” 

“Good. And it’s just Maddie, okay?” 

After downing his mug, Shadow reheated some of yesterday’s sausage and eggs while Maddie poured them another cup of coffee each. They ate their breakfasts in comfortable silence. Fortunately, Maddie didn’t mention anything about last night. 

Maddie received a text from Tom that they were leaving his parents’ house now, so she suggested that they make a treat for the boys when they returned. (“It’ll be like the gifts you used to give us!” She had said excitedly. “Ooh, I know. Let’s make a cake!”) Shadow thought cakes were for celebrations, not to admit grievances, but agreed nonetheless. 

Shadow had never made a cake before and Maddie admitted it was not one of her stronger skills, but really, how hard could it be? The operation ran rather smoothly until the frosting. In a lapse of judgment, Shadow turned on the mixer too quickly and the bowl erupted like volcanic ash. Powdered sugar coated every surface in the kitchen including Shadow’s quills, which Maddie spent the next half hour combing out. Thankfully, he still had time to write a message on the cake, which turned out to be barely legible, but Maddie praised him anyway. 

“Hm. I think I just heard the car.” She must have noticed Shadow tense up and smoothed out his quills soothingly. “How about this: you get the cake ready, I’ll herd the boys inside.” 

When Maddie took her leave outside, Shadow quickly retrieved the cake from the refrigerator and took a seat on the living room couch. Curious, he peered out of the window to the family piling out of the van. Maddie greeted Tom first with a hug and kiss but was quickly rushed by Sonic jumping into her arms and talking a mile a minute. 

A loud voice interrupted their embrace. “Look, Mother! I am carrying all of the suitcases!” The echidna was, in fact, lifting a stack of five or six suitcases with one arm. 

“That’s nice, baby,” Maddie was kind, indeed. “But let Sonic help with some of those.” 

Almost immediately, Sonic and the echidna began bickering about the suitcases and who was best suited for carrying them and, therefore, the superior brother. Shadow rolled his eyes. How immature. 

In that moment of carelessness, Shadow was so distracted watching Maddie attempt to mitigate their argument while lifting the sleeping kit out of the car that he didn’t notice Tom and Ozzy enter the living room. He heard a startled inhale behind him and turned around so quickly that he almost fell off the couch. Tom stood stock still in the doorway, the dog sat panting at his feet. Shadow expected to see disdain in his eyes, shock or worry maybe, but Tom just looked confused. 

“Um. Honey.” Tom calls behind him, his eyes still fixed on the Shadow. “Shadow is on our couch. Why is Shadow on our couch?” 

Maddie rushed in carrying a suitcase in one hand and the fox in the other. “Oh, yes, Shadow,” she said breathlessly, looking between him and Tom. “He crashed here this weekend.” As if that explained anything at all. 

A streak of blue skidded to a halt in the room. “Did someone say something about Shadow?” Wide, emerald eyes focused on Shadow, who hadn’t moved a muscle since Tom stepped into the room. “Shadow! Shadow? What? But you—Wait—Huh?” 

Shadow clasped his hands together tightly. If Maddie wasn't watching him, he would have shut Sonic's stuttering mouth himself. 

Knuckles came in with the rest of the luggage and dropped them all in a heap on the ground. Upon seeing Shadow he gasped and pointed at him with a gloved hand, “Agh! Shadow the Ghost Hedgehog!” 

“Knuckles, he isn’t dead,” Sonic said, still staring at Shadow. He had managed to compose himself, now looking more upset than startled. Shadow felt a discomfort begin to bubble in his stomach.

“Oh. Shadow the Hedgehog of Superior Ability. In the flesh. Mother, did you use magic to resurrect him?” 

“He never died.” The fox exasperatedly echoed Sonic, finally woken. He clung a little harder to Maddie when Shadow glanced at him. 

The echidna looked more confused than ever. 

“Well,” said Maddie, not at all fazed by the increasingly uncomfortable air in the room. “Shadow’s got something to say first.” 

Tom folded his arms, his expression unreadable. Sonic imitated Tom’s stance, challenging Shadow to say anything at all. Maddie smiled at him encouragingly. 

Shadow took a deep breath and relaxed his arms, trying to look as least intimidating as possible. “What I did in the past, I did out of ignorance but that isn’t an excuse for the damage I’ve caused to you,” He looked pointedly at Tom, trying and failing to gauge a reaction. “And your family. I hope you all can bring yourselves to forgive me.” 

He could say more, he probably should, considering the magnitude of his actions but at that moment Maddie stepped into the middle of the room with their cake in her hands.  

Sonic immediately read the icing words out loud. “I’m sorry for almost destroying the world and morally and physically injuring your family.” He looked up, emerald meeting red. A grin spread across his face. “Wow, I didn’t know they sold cakes that said that.” 

The words came out like vomit. “I wrote that, you idiot.” 

Shadow heard an amused snort, which to his shock came from Tom who was trying to cover it up by clearing his throat. “I uh—I didn’t know we had a baker in the house now.” It wasn’t the response Shadow expected, but he’ll take that over eviction any day. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s be nice.” Maddie said patiently as always. She held up a knife and a plate. “Who wants a piece?” 

Everyone immediately began crowding Maddie for a slice of cake like it was some sort of birthday party and not Shadow’s reckoning. Maddie handed him a slice that he couldn’t force down right now even if he wanted to. He set it aside and nervously watched the others enjoy the fruits of his labor. 

“Alright,” Tom clapped his hands together. “We can have more cake later, guys. Let’s get unpacked.” 

Knuckles hauled up a suitcase in one arm and before leaving the room turned to Shadow. “The cake was adequate. You are forgiven for now but I will be keeping my eye on you, Hedgehog.” 

Shadow forced himself not to roll his eyes for a second time this afternoon.  

Maddie winked at him before leaving and Tails hastily followed her upstairs. Sonic didn’t budge so Tom nudged him. “You too, bud. Help mom with the suitcases.” Sonic glanced at Shadow, gave Tom a weary look, and then took off. 

He was left in the living room with Tom. 

He patted the couch cushion next to him, “Take a seat.” Shadow obeyed, bracing himself. “You know, you could have talked to us instead of hiding. I promise we’re not that scary. It’s kind of a shame about the gifts though, I was sorta getting used to them.” 

This must be some sort of mind game, Shadow decided. Or he must be dreaming. He didn’t know exactly what to expect from Tom, but certainly not this. He must have taken too long to respond because Tom, growing concerned, asked, “What’s wrong?”

He owed it to Tom to be honest, at least. “You all are acting like this is normal. Why?” 

“Well, when you’ve seen what I’ve seen this is pretty much standard for this family. I mean, Maddie first met Sonic when we were running from Robotnik and I was wanted for domestic terrorism. And then we took in Tails and Knuckles after Robotnik tried to kill us again and the FBI staged my sister-in-law’s wedding to detain us. I don’t think it gets much crazier than that.” Shadow had never considered how Maddie and Tom became their guardians. He supposes that in comparison, this is pretty much on par for the Wachowskis. “Maybe it got a little extra crazy with another Robotnik and that doomsday laser but what matters is that you made the right choice in the end.” 

“Because of Sonic.” Shadow admitted. 

“Don’t let him take all the credit, bud. He’s got a big enough head as it is. You know, Sonic was once considered a threat too, but you wouldn’t know that from meeting him. He’s learning his way through life, just like all of us. We make mistakes, we do better, we move on. I appreciate that you’re trying, but part of helping others is helping yourself. So here’s me, Thomas Wachowski, forgiving you, Shadow. Now, you’ve got to forgive yourself too.” 

Shadow didn’t know what to say. A “thank you” didn’t seem sufficient for the magnitude of the situation. Instead, he blurts out the question that’s been lingering on his mind: “So I can stay?” 

“We won’t force you to. But I am making my world-famous Wachowski burgers on the grill for dinner. I don’t think you’ll wanna miss that. Come on, I have to prepare some stuff and Maddie tells me you’re a natural in the kitchen.” 

After a dinner enduring Sonic animatedly recounting every single event from their grandparents’ house to Maddie, Shadow found some much-needed peace sitting at the edge of the porch. The sun had set hours ago. A porchlight illuminated over him. He closed his eyes and smelled the pine and dewdrops lingering in the air. Wood creaked next to him. He opened his eyes to see Sonic standing over him. He sighed and slid over, an invitation to sit down. When Sonic sat his knee knocked against Shadow’s accidentally, and a spark coursed through his leg. He pulled his legs the farthest he could from the blue hedgehog. Shadow wondered how long it would take before one of them spoke. 

Sonic was the first to break, blurting, “Mom says you’ll be staying with us for a while.” 

“I am.” Shadow wondered if Sonic ever doubted that he was wanted. Tom and Maddie had risked their life and reputation for Sonic multiple times, it seems. “Unless you have any objections.” 

“No way, man.” Sonic bumped his shoulder against Shadow. It’s an act of affection he hasn’t experienced in so, so many years. He leaned away as far as he could. “I mean, it’s way better than you being dead. Or pretending to be dead. I’m not going to forgive you so easily for that one, by the way.” Sonic’s smile almost slipped off of his face but he recovered quickly. “Hey, now I finally have someone in the house who’s almost as fast as me.” 

There’s something about Sonic that brings out the worst in Shadow. And something about him that makes his heart beat twice as fast. “Don’t you mean, you’re almost as fast as me?” Shadow challenged like it was an instinct. Then he remembered, holding a hand up to his ribs. “I can’t race you. Maddie prohibited me until I heal.” 

“Sounds like you’re too scared.” Sonic taunted. “Come on, what’s one little race going to hurt? I thought you were the Ultimate Lifeform.” He took off immediately into the woods in a blue blur. 

Shadow sighed and took off into the woods after Sonic. His dignity is more important than a few bones. In the end, it didn’t matter who won because Sonic had already proposed a rematch before they made it to the finish line. 

Minutes after Shadow stepped back into the house, his ribs started to ache again. As everyone was getting ready for bed, he slipped down into the kitchen to retrieve his medication. He opened the cabinet as carefully as he could and rifled through but couldn’t find them. Frustrated, he searched harder in vain. 

“Looking for these?” Shadow swiveled around to find Maddie leaning against the counter, shaking the bottle of Shadow’s painkillers. He had no idea how he could’ve missed her coming into the kitchen. 

She handed him a pill and a glass of water. Shadow took it immediately. “I should have waited, like you said.” 

“It’s okay. Sometimes I just have to let you boys learn these sorts of things on your own,” she waited for him to finish before taking his glass. “Let’s get you to bed.” 

Shadow followed Maddie upstairs and she ushered him to the guest room, making sure he was comfortable enough before turning to leave. She paused at the door frame, “I’m proud of you. You are such a good kid. Now get some sleep.” She blew him a kiss and shut the door softly.

He finds himself staring at the ceiling, wishing that tomorrow could come sooner, knowing that he will inevitably have coffee in the morning, spend time with Maddie, and learn his way around this entirely abnormal family. 

A strange happiness washed over him, yet something troublesome lingered in the pit of his stomach. Shadow rolled over to his side and closed his eyes. He imagined Maria beside him, like one of their many sleepovers. She was wearing her pale blue pajama and her hair was braided in a futile attempt to curl her stick-straight hair. Even in the darkness, he can still see her freckles and a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.  

“I missed you,” she said, smiling. Her voice sounded like music. “I’ve been so bored without you. And I miss skating.” 

“Me too,” he was afraid to blink, lest she disappeared when he opened them. 

“Nice room. It’s way different than that Gulag cement prison you had before.” Shadow didn’t think his room in the facility was as bad as Maria said. But he did prefer the Wachowskis guest room to the cold cement walls and the single twin-sized bed that he never used. “I am a little jealous. Your bed is bigger than mine was.” 

“You had better decorations,” he nodded to the plain knick knacks on the bookshelf.

“Duh. I have better taste.” Her eyes searched his face, darting back and forth. “You seem happier.” 

Is he happier? Shadow once believed that he could never feel true happiness again with Maria gone, but now… 

Maria grabs his hand which he didn’t realize was trembling. “I’m happy that you’re happy. I hate seeing you sad.”

“I don’t want to forget you.” He admits. His greatest fear. “You mean so much to me.”

“Don’t worry about that, silly. I’ll always be here,” she presses her finger into his chest. “And here.” She flicks his forehead. It doesn’t hurt, but he growls low anyway, causing Maria to bubble up in a fit of giggles. 

He smiles and Maria smiles back at him. He wants to tell her everything about the animal shelter and Die Hard and the race with Sonic this evening but the words were stuck in his throat. 

Maria opens her arms for a hug and he accepts it. For a moment Shadow remembered the warmth of her arms around him, her breath on his cheek. She pulls back and it’s cold again. “It’s getting late.” Maria looks at him regretfully. “I should go to sleep. Goodnight, Shadow.” She blew him a kiss. 

Shadow blinks. The part of the pillow he buried his face in is wet. He can’t remember the last time he cried. A heavy weight has lifted from his chest and tiredness seeps in. He holds the pillow tighter and whispers into the darkness, “Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

G.U.N. Facility, New Year's Eve, 1972

Each year the G.U.N. facility held a New Year's Eve party. No children allowed. The lack of an invite didn’t matter much to Shadow, he and Maria had a party of their own which consisted mostly of watching reruns on a pile of blankets and pillows. 

They were in the middle of their second movie of the night, shoulder-to-shoulder in their pillow fort, when Maria asked: “Do you ever wonder what the grown-up party is like?” 

“Not really.” Why would he care when he’s having a perfectly good time with her? His best guess is that they were all just standing around and talking. All adults do is stand around and talk, anyway. 

“Well, maybe it’s like the Great Gatsby .” 

That was the last book they read together. Maria loved it. But there was no way that the adults’ New Year's Eve party was anything like the ones in The Great Gatsby. First of all, these “flappers” and “bootleggers” probably only existed in fiction. Second, they didn’t even have a pool at the facility. Shadow told her so. 

She just shrugged. A moment later, a mischievous grin spread across her face. She sat up quickly. “Hey, I have an idea,” she whispered to him like nobody else was around except for the two of them. “We should sneak in!”

Shadow looked at the clock. Five minutes until midnight. He was concerned that Maria would miss the ball drop—they were planning on watching it on live TV—but he agreed anyway. Her ideas were usually fun, if not a little disastrous. Not that Shadow minded. 

They crouched behind one of the steel doors into the meeting hall that had been transformed for the party. Just like Shadow suspected, it seemed like everybody was just standing around and talking. Some were eating bite-sized appetizers from small plates. Most had a long-stemmed drink in their hand. Shadow could barely recognize anyone in the sea of faces without their typical white coats and military garb. 

“Look!” Maria hissed, “They have the ball drop on the big screen! Let’s stay to watch it and then we can leave.” Sure enough, an industrial television was mounted on the back wall. It was so large that he and Maria could clearly see the numbers on the screen. There was barely one minute until midnight.

As the numbers reached below ten, all of the adults in the room turned to the screen and began chanting. “Five…four…three…two…one!” Cheers exploded in the room, glasses clinked, and much to Shadow’s confusion, many of the adults turned and kissed each other. Some on the cheek, some on the mouth. 

“Ew! Gross.” Maria jeered in a whisper. “Bleh. Let’s go back now. I have to go wash my eyes with soap.” 

Shadow had enough too. It was just as dull as he suspected, if not worse. 

Only later when they were lying side by side after an impromptu dance party Shadow asked Maria the lingering question on his mind, “Why did they do that?” 

“Do what?” Maria lifted herself onto her elbow. “Oh, you mean the kissing? It’s a tradition to kiss when the New Year starts. Usually, people do it with their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or whatever.” 

Shadow nodded, even though he was more intrigued than anything. He despised being touched usually. Touching, prodding, and holding Shadow was strictly prohibited in the facility unless it is scientifically or medically necessary. He liked holding hands with Maria. He liked her hugs if they were well-timed and with prior notice. He had never thought about kissing her and he didn’t particularly want to. 

Maria laid back down, “So, who would you kiss? I mean, on New Year's.” When Shadow didn’t respond, Maria sighed dreamily. “I think I would kiss Greg Brady.” 

Shadow rolled his eyes affectionately. “That’s not a surprise. I could’ve guessed that.” 

“What about you? Can I guess for you?” 

“Okay.” Shadow had no one at all in mind. He didn’t have crushes on any television characters like Maria did. He certainly did not want to kiss any of the guards or scientists in the facility. 

“Hm…” She tapped her chin as if she was thinking hard. Shadow shook his head, trying not to look too amused. “I think…you like…Captain Kirk.” 

Shadow’s muzzle flushed bright red against his will. 

“I knew it! I knew it!” She squealed. “You think he’s dreamy.” 

“I do not! He is not dreamy.” Shadow just admires Jim Kirk's abilities as a natural-born leader. And he’s confident, strong-willed, and courageous. Besides—“He’s a man!” 

“So what?” 

“Men only kiss women.” Empirical evidence proves this, Shadow reasoned.  

“That’s not true at all. My mom used to say that anybody can love anybody, no matter what.” 

Maria rarely talks about her deceased mother, so this is probably a big deal and likely factual. Shadow amended his observation. “Men usually kiss women.” 

“I guess so. On TV, at least. Or that stupid New Year's party that I’m glad we weren’t invited to.” She bumped his shoulder affectionately. 

“It was stupid.” He bumped her back. 

Shadow stared at the ceiling. Captain Kirk was a man, but Shadow did find him, in an objective sense, good-looking. He maybe would consider Kirk somewhat in a way… dreamy. He squeezed his eyes shut. Damn it, she was right. Eyes fixed on the ceiling, the question came pouring out of his mouth. “How did you know?” 

“About you and Kirk?” Obviously. “I have eyes, you know. And your tail always starts wagging when he’s on the TV.” 

“What? No, it doesn’t.” 

“Yes, it does!” 

He chased Maria around the room with a pillow as she chanted “Shadow loves Kirk, Shadow loves Kirk!” until an employee stuck his head in and yelled at them to go to sleep. When the guard closed the door Maria stuck her tongue out at it and griped about how unfair it was that they needed to go to sleep while the grown-ups could party for as long as they wanted. 

At four in the morning, he and Maria decided to finally go to sleep in the pillow fort. Shadow rested beside her. In the darkness, she whispered, “I love you no matter what, okay? Even if you kiss someone like Captain Kirk someday.” 

Shadow reached over and squeezed her hand. She held it back tightly. He felt her grip soften as she drifted off to sleep. Why would he ever want a Captain Kirk when he has Maria? 

Wachowski Residence, Six Weeks Before New Year's Eve, 2024

Two months in, Shadow decided that living with the Wachowskis was entirely incomparable to the G.U.N. facility.

For one, more residents were like Shadow than not. For once in his life Shadow wasn’t an outcast. Second, despite the many faults of his younger cohabitants, Shadow felt, for once in his life, understood. They too were alien to this world, once lonely or misguided, having lost loved ones. Finally, Tom and Maddie were far from the cold, impersonal scientists and guards in the facility. While Gerald may have referred to him as a child on occasion, most days Shadow was considered no more precious than a lab rat. There was no question that Tom and Maddie treated Shadow as if he were a child of their own. It’s no wonder why Sonic almost killed him because of Tom; Shadow would do unspeakable things in a heartbeat if anything happened to Maddie. 

Shadow felt fortunate that he could list the positive aspects of this new life with ease, which include, but aren't limited to: family movie nights (except when it was Tails’ turn to choose the movie), racing Sonic through the endless evergreens, spontaneous trips to get ice cream, sparring matches with Knuckles, even though he didn’t let Shadow use teleportation, coffee in the mornings, Maddie’s hugs, which were always well-timed and with prior notice, s’mores, pizza, the unparalleled feeling of belonging, and the Nespresso machine that Shadow only broke once purely from desperation. 

The best part about living with the Wachowskis was Sonic. Not that Shadow would admit that to anyone. Just being around him was a shock of adrenaline. His carefree and adventurous nature was addicting to be around. And despite the snarky banter and abrupt sparring matches, Shadow was never uncertain that Sonic respected him. Maybe even cared about him. 

At the same time, there were also many ‘adjustments,’ as Maddie would call it. Beyond the abrupt divide of Maddie’s attention, Shadow quickly noticed how much the busyness of the six-member house affected him. Each day felt like a sprint to the finish line. From morning to night, there was always something happening, whether it be disastrous or strange or exciting, and Shadow always felt obligated to be involved. Weirdly, it seemed that Maddie and Tom thrived on this chaos, but Shadow found the general day-to-day overwhelming.

Shamefully, Shadow’s favorite part of the day became the quiet time when Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails were at school and Tom and Maddie were at work where he was free without the usual interruption or distraction. The guilt simmered in the pit of his stomach; he had spent so long hoping that the Wachowskis would allow him to stay, only for him to ungratefully enjoy their absence. No matter how many good moments—holidays, movie nights, hugs—the unpleasant overwhelming feeling eventually made itself known. He feared that he would never be ‘adjusted’ to this. Maddie absolutely cannot know that this is how Shadow chooses to repay her for her selflessness. 

He should’ve known that Maddie did know. (Knuckles calls her a mind reader and this is the first of his bizarre suspicions that Shadow has kind of agreed with.) 

One night after a particularly long day, a soft knock came from behind the guest bedroom door. Maddie peered from behind it, “Can I come in?” 

Shadow nodded, sitting up against the backboard. Maddie sat on the bed next to him and smoothed out her bathrobe. “Shadow,” she smiled at him but her eyes danced with worry. She spoke carefully. “Tom and I have been talking and we both noticed that you’ve been a bit quiet recently. Which is okay, but we wanted to check in to make sure everything was okay. Is something going on?”

The urge to say ‘no’ is tempting, but she’ll no doubt know he’s being dishonest. He looks down at his hands, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know if I’m good at this.” 

“At what, baby?” 

“At being part of a family.” He couldn’t look up. He didn’t want to see her disappointment. 

“Oh, honey. That’s not something you can be good at, it’s just something that you are.” Shadow finally met her eyes. “Why do you think you’re bad at being part of a family?” 

The explanation came tumbling out; every conflicting feeling that had been haunting him for the past two months. When he finished it felt as though an oppressive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

Maddie took his hand in hers. “First of all, you’ll always be part of this family. You’re not getting rid of us that easily.” She squeezed his hand softly. “But it’s unfair for you to be putting all of this pressure on yourself. Your happiness matters too. We can make this family thing work in a way that makes us not drive you crazy all of the time. Let’s get some sleep and then in the morning, we can try brainstorming some solutions together. An alternative, maybe.” 

The alternative did come barely a week later in the form of a thick envelope addressed to Shadow. Inside was a lengthy letter and contract from G.U.N. The letter outlined a lengthy apology, gratitude for Shadow’s involvement in saving the world from Gerald’s Eclipse Cannon, and a proposal: G.U.N. wants to promote galactic peace and security and they want Shadow’s input and assistance. 

Tom took one look at the stack of paper and said, “We should get a lawyer to take a look at this.” 

Despite his initial doubts—and after a few lengthy family discussions—Shadow came to the conclusion that this could be an opportunity to help not just the individual, but to protect the world and possibly others like himself from harm. On top of that, the salary, according to Tom and Maddie, was fairly generous. The lawyer, a friend of a friend of Tom’s, told them that the contract was fairly transparent and G.U.N. was open to negotiation. In the end, Shadow accepted the salary, at least two months of vacation days, and a Green Hills apartment on the town’s main street with a guarantee of anti-discrimination policies altered to fit Shadow’s alien status and the ability to dissolve the contract at any time. Maddie, Tom, and the lawyer all agreed it’s better to be safe than sorry when dealing with the United States government. 

Before he knew it, the Wachowkis were helping Shadow move into his new apartment; Tom and Sonic helping him unbox his rather few possessions and necessities, Knuckles single-handedly carrying most of the furniture, and Maddie and Tails making sure all of the appliances were functional. When everything was mostly where it needed to be Tom ushered Knuckles and Tails back into the car. 

After bidding them goodbye, Shadow found Sonic lingering at the door. He sheepishly handed Shadow a rolled-up poster. It was Sonic’s signed print from the movie Speed. Before Shadow could say another word, he felt Sonic’s arms around him, and then not a second later he was out the door. (The moment replayed in his mind for the rest of the night.) 

Maddie was the last to leave. She handed him a box. “Just a little housewarming gift.” 

It was his own Nespresso machine. He could cry. “Thank you.” Shadow set it down so she could pull him into a hug. 

“I put the list of emergency numbers on the fridge. Call us if you forgot anything at home.” Maddie crouched down. “Remember, we are always here for you.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

When Maddie left, closing the door softly behind her, Shadow sank to the floor, head resting on the wooden paneling. He felt like he could finally breathe and the worries that plagued him about the change simmered away. After all, knew his family would always be near. 

Shadow’s Green Hills Apartment, New Year's Eve, 2024

The digital clock sitting next to his framed picture with Maria reads nine forty in the morning. Shadow rubs his eyes. He isn’t completely used to waking up in his apartment bedroom instead of the Wachowski’s guest bedroom. Although before it had been a daily annoyance, Shadow often woke up half expecting to hear footsteps creaking above him and too loud voices carrying through the hallway and under his door. The only noises he has now to greet him in the morning are cars passing by on the street below and the faint chiming of bells from a nearby church.

Though, notwithstanding the new physical distance, it feels like Shadow is spending more time with the Wachowskis than ever. He doesn’t mind the company. In fact, he prefers it to any sort of isolation. Shadow has yet to get used to reaching out and making plans, but he’s trying. Every Monday and Wednesday he and Maddie meet for lunch and catch up. Tom invites him to go hiking occasionally. He has dinner at the Wachowski’s sometimes, especially after long G.U.N. missions. He continues to go to Sonic’s baseball games and spar with Knuckles and entertain Tails’ usually dangerous inventions. He volunteers at the children’s hospital twice a week if he’s not away on a G.U.N. mission. 

Shadow never invites Sonic over. He doesn’t have to. The blue hedgehog makes himself welcome several times a week, sometimes bringing Knuckles or Tails or both. They would come bearing snacks or movies or video games, and in exchange, Shadow would let them use the giant flat-screen TV that Tom helped him buy with his G.U.N. salary. When Shadow inevitably kicked them out, they typically left without complaint, promising to come over again soon. 

He found himself spending the holidays with the Wachowskis, staying in that old guest bedroom when it got too late on Christmas Eve. He found comfort in baking gingerbread cookies with Maddie and decorating the tree with Tom and Sonic. On Christmas Day, Tails gifted him a handmade motorcycle, which Tom prohibited him from using unless he was wearing a helmet. Knuckles gave him a family-sized bag of chocolate espresso beans. He proceeded to eat the entirety of it in under an hour and couldn’t fall asleep for a week. When Sonic nervously handed him a present, he unwrapped the small rectangular box to find a newly framed photo of him and Maria. He fell asleep that night holding the picture in his arms.

Despite his schedule, he still found sufficient time to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, alone. The moments he has to himself cooking, cleaning, or reading kept him sane and grounded. The routine is comforting and usually reliable. He has bad days, but they’ve lessened. Maddie calls it ‘a happy medium’ and Shadow has to agree. 

Reaching over to his bedside table, Shadow is met with seventeen missed text messages. Fourteen were from Sonic. He ignored these—most of them were links to Reddit or Twitter posts that made little sense to Shadow. One was a spam message, which he deleted. He opened the last two, which were from Maddie. 

Please pick up plastic cups for tonight

Love you!

He sent back a short affirmative text. After deciding that it wasn’t a sufficient message he followed it up with a heart. Resting his phone on his chest, Shadow briefly considers falling back asleep. It’s early and he has hours until the Wachowksi’s New Year’s Eve party in the evening. He rolls out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen instead. Maddie had found him a promising tiramisu recipe that he wanted to try. 

Shadow’s fist barely hit the door when it opened to reveal Maddie on the other side wearing a plastic crown with a glittery ‘Happy New Year's!’ on it. She takes the tiramisu and cups from Shadow before pulling him into a hug. He follows her inside. 

When Shadow enters the living room he notices he’s hardly the first guest to arrive. Tom’s co-worker Wade is trying to toss grapes in Knuckle’s mouth, who looks like he’s having the time of his life. Several of the nurses from the vet clinic are here, some fawning over Tails, who seemed to be explaining some sort of gadget he was holding. Sonic is immediately at his side, pulling him into the kitchen to show him the array of snacks covering the island. Shadow isn’t at all hungry now but listens to Sonic list the different appetizers and which ones were his favorite anyway. 

Even Shadow could admit that his first New Year's party was entertaining. The company is familiar. Everyone enjoys his tiramisu. There are games in which he kicks Sonic’s ass and others in which he has to accept his defeat. At one point, Maddie tries to get a rather embarrassed Sonic to try to dance with her. Shadow steps back against the wall holding his soda. Suddenly the music, the lights, and the chatter overwhelm him and turn to white noise ringing in his ears. A heavy discomfort sets in. He slips away from the crowd unnoticed. 

Shadow sits on the icy steps of the porch attempting the breathing exercises Maddie taught him. They worked until he heard the glass sliding door behind him open and close. Steps crunching on the snow stop next to him. He doesn’t look up, he already knows who it is. 

“You left your coat inside,” Sonic said, holding out the winter coat Maddie gifted Shadow. 

“I’m not cold—” 

“Because you’re the Ultimate Lifeform. Yeah, yeah.” He throws the coat on top of Shadow anyway. A beat. “Tom’s putting the ball drop on TV. I wanted to see it live in New York but Maddie said no. Maybe next year.” 

“Maybe.” He pulls the coat into his lap. If Sonic’s looking for entertainment, he’s not going to find it out here. 

“Maddie says that you can still come live with us whenever you want to.” 

“I know.” 

“You should come over more. Me and Knuckles are having a John Wick marathon this weekend.” 

Even though that did sound enticing, Shadow didn’t respond. 

Sonic sighs. He’s frustrated and Shadow knows this. He doesn’t mean to be difficult especially when Sonic is trying so hard but he doesn’t know how else to be when he’s in this state. 

He just wants Sonic to leave so that he doesn’t have to disappoint him any further. “You should go watch the ball drop with them,” he suggests, trying to sound more lighthearted than he feels.  

He taps his foot to Shadow’s. Shadow pretends he doesn’t notice. “Nah, I’d rather stick around out here with you.”

Shadow can’t imagine why. It’s freezing and he’s not in the mood to talk. He tells him this much. 

Sonic shrugs. “I just like spending time with you.” He says it like it’s simple, like it doesn’t mean the world to Shadow. 

When Shadow doesn’t respond, Sonic flops down on his back into the powdery snow, his face to the heavens. “Wow. The stars are really bright tonight.” 

Shadow lays down too. The stars twinkle above them, lightyears away. He imagines one of them is Maria, gone but still shining. He exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He doesn’t know how long they were out there but it felt like hours, side by side watching the stars. The moon had almost crawled its way to the center of the sky. It must almost be midnight. 

Eventually, Sonic sits up on his elbows. He shivers. “Let’s go inside.” 

Shadow sits up and turns to Sonic. The snow had melted into his quills. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see everyone gathering in front of the television. The ball drop. When the final countdown begins, loud enough to hear clearly outside, Shadow feels an urge wash over him. He has to fight this urge back at any cost. 

Ten. 

“Hey, Earth to Shadow.” Sonic waves a hand in front of his face.

Nine. 

Shadow feels like he can’t move. Can’t breathe. 

Eight.

“We’re missing New Year's. Come on.” Sonic’s ear flicks impatiently but he doesn’t stand up to leave.

Seven.

Why doesn’t he just leave?

Six.

“Don’t tell me the snow froze your face.” Sonic was trying to be a bit lighthearted. He could tell something was wrong. 

He always does this. 

Five.

Shadow doesn’t move. Sonic anxiously glances back into the house but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t leave Shadow alone. 

Sonic is a good friend, damn it. 

Four.

He’s courageous. He’s funny. He’s kind, even to those who don’t deserve it. He’s thoughtful. He cares—he cares too much. He never shuts the fuck up.  

Three. 

“Hey, man, are you okay?” Sonic has the audacity to look concerned. 

Emerald eyes reflected the pale moonlight. He could see the stars in them. 

Two. 

“Shut up.” Shadow growls. His heart was beating in his throat.

One. 

Shadow leans in. 

Happy New Year!

“Ow!” Sonic reeled back holding his nose. 

Fuck. Shadow was on his feet in an instant. He needed to leave now but felt a hand grasp his wrist tightly. 

“Wait!” Shadow turned to face his captor. Sonic was wiping the blood off of his muzzle with his free hand. “Was that a headbutt or did you just try to kiss me?” Now he wishes that a meteorite would strike the Earth and kill them both. He couldn’t bear another second of this. 

“Let go of me!” He demanded, trying to yank his arm from Sonic’s grasp but his hand tightened. “Let go.” He hated how weak his voice sounded. He should just snap his own neck, and put him out of his misery. 

“Wanna try again?” 

Shadow froze. All he could hear was his own pulse. This must be a dream. Sonic reaches for his arm and holds him steady.

Sonic’s hand moves up to cradle his cheek. Shadow lets him. “Can I?” 

Shadow nods. 

Without another thought, Sonic pressed their lips together. The kiss was cold and chaste. Nevertheless, a rush of energy erupted up his spine and into his fingertips. His hand found Sonic’s shoulder and held onto him tighter. 

Sonic pulls away first but remains close enough for Shadow to feel puffs of his warm breath on his cheek. His blue quills were glowing against the night. The hand on his wrist moves to interlock their fingers. Sonic looks at him like he’s the brightest star in the galaxy. “Happy New Year.”