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Kunikida had to manage the aftermath alone, dealing with irate clients who were now missing vital supplies. He tapped his foot restlessly, glancing at the clock again, half-expecting Dazai to saunter in with that infuriatingly charming grin, as if he hadn’t just disrupted the entire day’s workflow
Dazai was late. Scratch that; it was nearly 6 pm, and he was still nowhere to be seen, and Kunikida was beyond furious. Sure, Dazai was usually late, but he always came to work, and today had been particularly difficult because of the stunt Dazai pulled in Mersault. Because of the bandage-wasting machine, there was so much paperwork! And he didn’t even bother to show up and help! That idiot! Kunikida was sure that the moment Dazai showed up, he would give Dazai the shouting and berating of his life. He was probably trying to kill himself again. No doubt in no time they would get a call that someone saw Dazai hanging himself on a tree or drowning in a river.
Deep down, Kunikida was kind of worried. Before he defeated Fyodor, he stopped joking about suicide, and after he killed him, he again started joking about suicide, but he seemed more serious than in the same joking way he did before; he also seemed more depressed. So unlike his usual self. Kunikida wondered if he just waited till he defeated Fyodor before starting once again with his suicidal ways.
He was so worried, in fact, that he sent the not-busy ADA members to look for him. Atsushi and Kyouka were sent to Dazai’s apartment, and Kenji was sent with Tanazaki and Naomi to look for any word on the streets about him, and he would wait in the agency for any complaints about him.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Atsushi had been in Dazai’s home a few times, so that's why Kunikida sent him to look for Dazai, and Kyouka tagged along, eager to find Dazai, who is like a brother figure to her.
Atsushi had to pick the lock because the door was closed. His mentor taught him that. Picking the lock. He said that the skill would be useful to him, and he was completely right. It was by far one of the most useful skills he had been taught since joining the armed detective agency.
Dazai had a nice apartment. It consisted of the front hall, a living room combined with a small kitchen, his bedroom, and a bathroom. It was small but cozy. When Atsushi and Kyouka walked into Dazai’s apartment, it was quiet, too quiet. “Dazai-san,” Atsushi yelled, “are you here?” They said walking through the front hall where they could see Dazai’s coat and shoes. “Hey, Kyouka, you go look in the living room and kitchen, and I'll go to the bedroom and bathroom,” said the weretiger, kind of worried about disrupting Dazai’s privacy.
At first Atsushi goes and looks in the bedroom. Everything seemed in place. The bed was made, the books were as much of a mess as they usually were, the floor looked clean, and the clothes were neatly folded on top of the wardrobe, but the unusual thing was that the bandages that Dazai always wore lay on the bedside table. Atsushi had never seen him without his bandages. It would be weird, like seeing his beloved mentor naked. Those bandages by now are in Atsushi’s mind as part of Dazai’s skin or clothing.
Then he went towards the bathroom. He opened the door and immediately stopped in his tracks. The sight before him was startling. Atsushi's heart raced as he processed the image of his mentor, raw and unguarded, a side of Dazai he had never witnessed before.
Atsushi was starting to cry hysterically as he ran up to his beloved mentor.
He found Dazai. That was the good news. The bad news was that he was lying there in the bathtub that was full of his blood. Or at least his body since it showed no signs of being Atsushi's beloved mentor. His face didn't express any emotion, only a haunting stillness that sent a chill down Atsushi's spine. Panic surged through him as he dropped to his knees, desperately trying to comprehend the scene before him, wishing it was all just a nightmare from which he could wake up. In spite of all this he looked more unguarded, more vulnerable and more.. more human then Atsushi had ever witness him be.
He killed himself.
His wrists were cut, and there was an empty pill bottle open and lying sideways on the edge of the tub, its contents spilled across the blood tainted porcelain surface. Atsushi's heart raced as he struggled to comprehend the scene before him, a whirlwind of disbelief and grief threatening to consume him. How had it come to this?
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Kyouka was in Dazai’s apartment just a few times. The first time she and Dazai baked cookies in the shape of pandas, she remembered as they laughed as they struggled to keep the dough from sticking to their fingers. The sweet aroma filled the small space, and for a moment, the weight of their responsibilities faded away, leaving only the joy of their shared creation.
Since then, pandas have been Kyouka’s favorite animals.
The memory always brought a smile to her face, a reminder of the simple pleasures amidst their chaotic lives. As she gazed out the window, Kyouka couldn’t help but wonder when they would have the chance to create more moments like that together.
So she went to the kitchen first. There on the fridge was a note stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. As Kyouka went closer to inspect it, her blood ran cold, and as she read it, she started to tremble, and she was full-on sobbing at the end. Surely not... he wouldn't have...
It was a suicide note.
It read, ‘Please, anyone who reads this note, don't blame yourself. It was purely my decision to finally end my life. Oh, and before I forget, please tell Kuikida that I'm sorry that I didn't finish my paperwork, Kyouka to keep her head high, Akutagawa to know that you are strong, Atsushi to know that you are adorable, Yosano to kill Mori (he deserves it), and Mori to go fuck himself, and please tell my favorite Chibi not to blame himself and that I love him. This is not a goodbye; it's a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and loving me. Thank you all for all the memories I will never forget, even in death, but instead cherish forever. Dazai<3
As soon as she finished reading the note, she heard Atsushi sobbing from the bathroom. She immediately ran up there fearing the worst.
When she ran up, she froze. She saw Atsushi hugging a dead body. A dead body that looked similar to Dazai. No, it couldn't be… In that moment the dots connected in her head, and when she realized who it was, her legs gave out, and she landed on the floor on her knees sobbing. She cried like a child in that moment. Her brother was... he was dead. The weight of the reality crashed down on her, suffocating her with despair. Tears streamed down her face as she reached out, wanting to comfort her brother, but the chilling sight before her left her paralyzed in grief.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
At the funeral, Nakahara Chuuya spoke, his voice trembling, and tears swelled in his eyes as he read from his speech.
“I was angry when you died.
I shouted at death like death could hear me, ‘This isn't fair.’ And I asked a thousand whys. All my questions, doubts, and fears were answered with silence. In that silence, I realized how deeply you had touched my life, leaving an emptiness that words could never fill. As I looked around at the faces of those who loved you, I understood that our memories would keep your spirit alive, even as we grappled with the ache of your absence. Every shared moment echoed in my mind, reminding me of the laughter, love, and warmth that defined your presence. It was in these memories that I sought solace, knowing that while you were gone, you had left a legacy of strength and resilience that would guide us through the dark days ahead. Between anger, there was heartbreak and disbelief when I heard you passed away. This can't be real. This can’t be my reality; this can’t be yours. But this nightmare of grief was reality. And the reality is I lost someone I loved. I’ll never know the reasons as to why. Yet, I don’t think there is an explanation that would make me feel okay. Every day, I search for signs of you in the mundane moments of life, hoping to find a glimmer of comfort amid the pain. I replay our memories, grasping at the fragments of joy that once filled my heart, knowing that they will forever be intertwined with the ache of your absence. Love has been filled with grief. What once was can never be. And while the anger fades, the wishing you were here never does or will. The echoes of our shared laughter linger in my mind, haunting me with every passing day. I find myself searching for familiar places, hoping to stumble upon remnants of our time together, yet all I encounter is the painful reminder of your absence. I loved and will love you forever, Dazai Osamu.
As he stepped down from the podium, everyone could feel their eyes watering. Goodbye, Dazai Osamu…
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