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Crunching on the rocks behind her, and a soft coo from Seth, woke Carina from her half-doze.
She straightened, her mind scrambling to remember what she was doing—fishing in the shallow tidepools. She pulled up the line, but the bait at the end stared back at her. Nothing.
Beside her, Alexander Stowe, Mr. Today’s next of kin, plopped himself down. He hugged his knees close to his chest, half-covering his face. His messy hair tumbled around him, framing his tired eyes. She relaxed a bit; even though he was the closest thing they had to a leader, these days, he would never make her feel bad for not being able to catch anything, or for almost falling asleep while doing so.
Carina didn't know the boy horribly well, but it wasn't like he was a stranger. After all, he had become something of a celebrity during the battle. After he'd brought her all those heart attack spells, she couldn't help but watch out for him, and wave to him when she saw him in the hallways of the mansion. She'd heard the story from Sean, about what had happened with Warbler and Mr. Today. Now she felt a million times worse. She figured it was the least she could do to offer him a shoulder to lean on.
“Hey, kiddo,” she said, casting the line back out as far as she could. There weren’t many fish in the shallows here. If she was smart, she’d move.
Her gaze drifted down the shoreline, where almost every square inch was preoccupied with hundreds of other Unwanteds. Some were dozing, some were wading in the water searching for anything at all that could be useful, and countless others were sitting idle, clearly lost as to what to do with themselves.
Alex didn’t say anything, just sat silently next to her. He didn’t uncurl himself until Carina’s baby son, Seth, made a soft noise and reached a tiny hand out towards him. He offered a finger, which Seth grabbed happily. Alex numbly shook his hand up and down, then smiled, finally. “Pleasure to meet you, sir,” he mumbled.
“You can hold him, if you’d like,” Carina offered.
Alex’s smile fell from his face, but he scooted himself closer and picked Seth up in his arms, holding him close to his chest. He rocked back and forth slightly, which Seth didn't complain about. All things considered, the baby rarely complained. At least that was something to be grateful for, in this disaster.
“Is everything alright?” Carina asked, turning more fully towards the boy. She was having no luck with the fish, so it was hardly worth watching the water for a bite she knew wouldn’t come.
Alex didn’t respond for a minute, just kept rocking himself back and forth with a distant look in his brown eyes. They looked as though they were about to flood with tears, but Carina knew—as all the Unwanteds did—that crying was simply not an option right now. There wasn’t enough water for it, and if one of them broke down, it wouldn’t go well for the rest.
“Carina,” he said, his voice breaking. He bit his lip, clearly trying to keep himself composed. He tried again, trying to get his voice steadier. “Carina. Do you, um… This is going to sound like a really odd question, but it’s been eating away at me. Um…" He blinked a few times, not making eye contact. “Do you blame me? For your husband’s death, I mean."
“What?”
It was like some unspoken, unseen dam had burst, and now the words flooded out all at once. “It’s my fault Artimé was discovered in the first place. Everyone knows it. If I hadn’t gotten too ambitious, if I hadn’t given my stupid brother another stupid chance, Artimé would still be here and we’d all still be happy and he would still be alive, right?” He was shaking now. “I just… I wanted to know if you blamed me for it. It’s okay if you do.”
Seth made a gurgling noise in Alex’s arms, clearly sensing his distress.
Carina shook her head, then moved closer, dropping the fishing line. She didn’t care. She wrapped her arms around Alex and her son, holding them tight. It occurred to her how much taller she was than him, the way she completely enveloped him in her arms. He was so small, so young. What kind of place was this for a child?
“I don’t blame you, Alex,” she said softly, running a hand back and forth, up and down his back. “I don’t think I could ever blame you. You aren’t responsible for Quill wanting to kill us, that’s for sure.” She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “All you wanted to do was share your happiness and freedom with someone you loved. How could I ever hate you for that?”
Alex was unresponsive, burying his face in her shoulder, his breathing steadily beginning to even out. She held him like that for a while, the soft rush of the waves and the chatter throughout the ruins of Artimé wrapping around them, but staying a respectful distance away.
She pulled back from the hug, her hands moving to rest on his shoulders. “Alex, look at me.”
His gaze remained blank, staring at the ground beside her.
“Alexander Stowe.” She emphasized every syllable in his name.
His eyes finally met hers, brown and dull and sleepy and wavering.
“Promise me, Alex Stowe, that you will survive this. Do you understand?”
“Carina...” He blinked a few times, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “I can’t guarantee that and you know it. No one can.”
Carina sighed. “Well, try your hardest. If you don’t, I’ll… I don’t know. Punish you. As a ghost. Or something.”
That got a weak smile out of him.
“Your life’s only just begun, Alex. Don’t let them take it away from you. We will figure this out. We’re Unwanteds. They wanna get rid of us? They can try, but they’ll never fully succeed. Dying just gives into their wishes. Don’t let them win. Got it?”
“I think so,” he murmured. He gently let go of Seth, placing him back down on the rocks in front of him, then wiping his eyes with his arm. “Thank you.”
Carina smiled, turning back towards the waves and picking up the fishing line again and tugging on it a few times, just in case there had been something. There hadn’t.
They sat there in silence for a few more minutes, staring off into the distance side by side, before Alex asked, “What did your husband do?”
“He was a poet,” Carina replied.
Alex nodded slightly. “If, uh…" He cleared his throat, shaking his head. “When I get the mansion back… Would you let me read some of the things he wrote?”
“Sure. I’ll warn you, though, I don’t know how much of it is, uh…appropriate for you to be reading."
Alex laughed. “Well, who knows how much older I’ll be when the mansion comes back. But now I’ve really got something to look forward to.” He kicked a rock, and Seth repeated the motion, though his kick wasn’t very precise. Alex leaned down, picked up a fragment of a seashell, and handed it to the baby.
“Why do you want to read it?"
“I dunno. I guess I just want to know what he was like.” Seth threw the seashell—they would have to work on his aim, if he was ever going to be a mage—so Alex picked up a rock to replace it. “He must’ve been a pretty awesome dude, if you married him.”
“Yeah.”
A tug on the line distracted Carina from the conversation, and she pulled on it quickly. A little fish, hardly anything, was dragged up the shore, flopping this way and that. Alex and Seth watched in fascination as she held it up, still dancing back and forth, trying to escape.
“See? Let this be a lesson, boys. Just because your attempts aren’t successful yet doesn’t mean something good won’t happen later on.”
Alex grimaced. “Carina, the ‘Don’t die’ bit was enough wisdom for me, I think.”
“What? Was that really that bad?”
He nodded, eyes wide.
Carina shrugged. “Alright, well, I guess I gotta go figure out what to do with this thing, then.” She scooped up Seth in her free arm, holding him on one hip. “Go take a nap or something, Alex. You look like you’re about to fall over.”
He nodded slightly, rubbing a hand over his eyes again, the bags underneath deeply pronounced. “Yeah. Thanks again, Carina. Good night.”
“Good night, Alex.”