Chapter Text
Lexa was fidgeting, hands behind her back, clasped together tightly. The handmade suit she was wearing felt too tight. The material of her black pants clinging to her. The white blouse squeezing her chest and the deep green tie, ‘It matches your eyes, Lex,’ was suffocating her. And god, it was hot in here. She could feel the sweat dripping down her back. But maybe that was due to her nerves and not the heat.
Everything about this place made her feel uncomfortable. The people, the noise, the atmosphere. She should have been used to it by now, but she wasn’t. At least not anymore.
Thankfully so far the night had been fairly quiet. Only a couple of people had recognised her. And most of those encounters had been.. fine. The typical weird looks, the fake smiles, the wondering what on earth a girl like her was doing here.
What was a girl like her doing here? Even Lexa herself wasn’t so sure. The Charity Gala was raising money for children who were sick and had parents that couldn’t afford to pay the bills for the medical treatments they so desperately needed. It was a good cause. A great cause. But what was a girl like Lexa Woods doing here?
Lexa Woods, music prodigy, former singer of the band The Grounders, a girl with a troubled past that had fallen of the face of the earth a couple of months ago. And now she was back. At a charity event.
The plan had been simple. Sneak in without the paparazzi knowing, find Abigail Griffin, thank her for everything, donate money and then be out of there. It had been a good plan. She just hadn’t counted on there being so many people.
Every time she caught a glimpse of Dr. Griffin she was either to far away and gone again before she could even get close or already talking to someone and Lexa didn’t want to be rude and interrupt. So she did what she was best at and stayed in the background trying to not cause the attention of the people around her to fall on her.
Grabbing another glas of champaign from the waiter that kept smiling and walking by her she let her eyes drift around the room. It was packed. Tables everywhere where people dressed to the nines were talking and laughing.
It was loud. The chattering and the band, that was playing some jazz song Lexa couldn’t remember the name of, was making her feel anxious. Drowning the glas she searched the room again hoping to find Anya to just go against her plans and leave after donating some money. The plan had been good. But plans didn’t last very long in battle. That Lexa knew.
Instead of finding her friend her eyes settled on a blond across the room. She was wearing a blue dress that met the floor. Her back exposed by the long slit that stopped just short of being inappropriate. Her hair falling in slight waves, cascading down her shoulders. For a short moment she reminded Lexa of an angel before she shook her head to get rid of her thoughts.
As if she had felt the eyes on her the girl suddenly turned around and looked over at Lexa. When their eyes met Lexa felt the world still around her. Piercing blue meeting green. The noise that was still causing her head to pound seemed to fade. At least a little. Her tension was easing. All her attention was zeroing in on the girl across the room.
The blond titled her head, just barely but Lexa noticed, before she turned back to her company.
Lexa felt a twinge of disappointment but before she could dwell on it she noticed the blond had excused herself and was now making her way over to her a small smile on her face. Weaving around people to avoid running into someone, her stare never left Lexa’s.
And then she was standing in front of her. Still smiling.
“Hi.”
Lexa just stared. Frozen in place. She opened her mouth but nothing came out so she clamped it shut again. That made the other girl chuckle.
“So, I haven’t seen you at any of these before. I’m guessing it’s not your usual scene?” The slight tilt of the girls head was back, smile still in place, and it made Lexa snap out of her stupor.
“Oh, no, not really. That obvious, huh?” She answered, shifting in place awkwardly, her hands back to fidgeting behind her back.
“Well, kind of.” The girl was still looking at her with those piercing eyes but instead of making Lexa feel uncomfortable she felt weirdly at ease. Kind of like she was relieved she was not dealing with this whole gala thing on her own anymore. Like this girl was her personal saviour.
“So, I’m guessing this is your kind of thing?” She managed to get out.
“Well, not so much my thing, as a family obligation. Not that I don’t want to be here. I support the cause! It is a great charity. I’m just not into the whole people pleasing. If you get what I mean.” The blond was slightly out of breath after rambling but a smirk found its way on her face nonetheless, head still tilted to the side slightly.
“Yeah, I do.” ‘More than you know’ she wanted to add. Instead she let her eyes drop to the floor, feeling her anxiousness coming back. Her palms getting sweaty again. Her instinct to just up and run coming back. ‘Fight or flight, Lexa, what will it be’.
“Hey, I was just joking.” The girl in front of her interrupted her inner struggle, her expression turning concerned, instantly taking a small step towards her and reaching out a comforting hand. As soon as she touched her elbow Lexa felt her nerves settle again. This was starting to get weird.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling well today.” Lexa lifted her head again, blue eyes piercing hers.
“Don’t worry about it. I get really weird at these things as well if you couldn’t tell.” The smile was back on the blonds face and Lexa felt the corner of her mouth involuntarily lift in response.
Before she could come up with a response the guy she had seen the other girl talk to earlier had reached them and placed a hand on her back.
“Hey Clarke, Raven and I are heading out. We just wanted to let you know in case you wanted a lift?” The blond, Clarke, turned slightly her eyes not leaving Lexa’s and shook her head.
“No thanks, Finn. I’ll just leave with Bellamy later. He wanted to check on Octavia anyway so he can drop me off.” The boy, Finn, nodded, kissed her cheek and moved to leave after shooting Lexa a glance that made her feel slightly uncomfortable.
Once he was gone Lexa shuffled in her spot trying to get rid of the weird feeling that had settled in her stomach.
“So, do you have anything more planed here? Or do you want to maybe get-“ But before Clarke could finish her question they were interrupted again. This time by a slightly out of breath Anya, red dress flowing behind her, and a grumpy looking Gustus trailing not far behind.
“Finally! I have been looking all over for you!” Anya caught her breath and shot Clarke a look whilst grabbing Lexa at the elbow. “I’m very sorry, that I have to break this up, but you need to leave. Like five minutes ago,” Anya was looking at Lexa now.
“What? Why?” Confusion was written all over Lexa’s face and Clarke looked just as perplexed by this weird encounter. Just minutes ago Lexa had been desperately looking for a way to leave but now she felt a twinge of annoyance at the sudden turn of events.
“The paps are here. I don’t know how, but someone must have leaked it online and if we don’t leave now I am not getting you out without this blowing up. I already donated in your name so you did what you came here for and I am sure you were having a really nice conversation, no offence,” she glanced at Clarke who in response just shrugged and lifted both of her hands, “but you really need to go now.” And with that she started pulling Lexa towards the back exit before she could get another word out.
Lexa threw one last glance over her shoulder but Clarke had already disappeared into the masses of guests.
Once they got to the door Gustus handed her her jacket.
“Shit, Anya. How did this get out?” She hastily threw it on, already halfway out the door sprinting to the car, Gustus in front of her blocking the view and Anya next to her. Reality was setting in faster than she would have liked.
Camera lights were flashing, she tried to ignore the people shouting her name, Anyas name, but they were getting louder and louder by the second.
“I have no idea. And it doesn’t matter. We got you out. Nothing happened.” They had reached the car by now and Lexa slid in Anya shortly behind her before Gustus shut the door and walked around the car.
Lexa could still see the flashes, could still here the shouts of “Commander!”, “Woods!”, “Oh my god! Anya West!”. It made her feel sick to the stomach and she just wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there forever.
Anya wrapped her arms around her. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re fine. Everything is fine.” She was rubbing her hands up and down her back in a soothing motion and it helped Lexa calm down a bit. Her breathing was still coming harsch but she managed to stay conscious and level headed.
“It shouldn’t still be like this,” she mumbled still slightly out of breath, “I will have to face them sooner or later. This won’t just blow over and I can’t hide away forever.” She was frustrated. Frustrated at the world and at herself for being so weak.
“Don’t stress yourself, little one. Everything is going to be fine.” Anya still had her arms around her and pulled her into her shoulder. “Tell me about the blond girl?”
She smirked when she saw Lexa blush.
“There is nothing to tell.” Lexa’s cheeks heated up even more.
“Well, your face says otherwise,” Anya laughed holding Lexa even closer kissing the top of her head.
“Shut up,” Lexa grumbled into her shoulder but she couldn’t stop the small smile from spreading. The thought of Clarke made this whole evening feel a little less awful, which was a feat in itself.
“Is little Lexa in looove?” Anya singsonged laughing when she felt the weak punch Lexa aimed at her chest.
“Please be quiet. I don’t want to kill you just yet,” Lexa stated trying to keep a straight face.
Anya just grinned reaching over to pull Lexa back against her, letting her settle into her again.
The rest of the ride was rather peaceful, the rumbling of the car lulling Lexa almost to sleep. Once they reached her apartment Gustus parked the car and opened her door.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay over?” Anya asked raising an eyebrow.
“I’m fine. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”
Lexa dropped her head feeling guilty for snapping. “I’m sorry. I’m just.. I need sleep. I’ll be fine by tomorrow, I promise.”
Anya nodded and Lexa got out of the car Gustus closing the door behind her.
“Have a good night little Heda,” he was smiling softly at her opening his arms.
Lexa stepped into them sighing. “Thank you Gus. I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure Anya actually goes home and doesn’t start stalking me again.”
Gustus laughed at that, his loud booming laugh that always made Lexa feel safe.
“No worries. I will bring her to bed personally if I have to.” With that and one last squeeze of her shoulders he got back into the car and drove of.
Sighing Lexa started walking to her apartment complex and entered the lobby.
“Good evening, Miss Woods,” the doorman greeted her, elevator already there.
“Hi, Paul. Have a good night,” Lexa stepped into the elevator and watched the doors close.
She let out a breath she hadn’t noticed she had been holding. God ,this night.. This night had been stressful to say the least. Rubbing her hands over her eyes she stepped out of the elevator when it finally dinged open. Grabbing her keys out of her purse she unlocked her door sinking back against it once it closed behind her.
Seriously, what a day. Before she could really start thinking she heard paws clanking against her wood floors, her german shepherd trotting towards her tail wagging in excitement.
“Hey there, Nyko. How are you doing buddy?” The dog yelped with joy nuzzling in into Lexa’s lap. “Oh god, you’re not a little puppy anymore you know that right.” She huffed pushing the dog off of her and standing up.
Smiling she went to the kitchen to get Nyko his food. She poured herself a glas of water watching her dog eat or rather gulp down whatever was in his bowl. Looking at the clock made her sigh. It was late. Past midnight. No wonder she was so exhausted.
Settling on the couch she turned on the TV but muted it, not wanting to really watch it just needing the flickering of the light to calm her nerves. Nyko settled in next to her, sensing her discomfort, head in Lexa’s lap. She started scratching his ears softly, smiling when he nuzzled further into her.
She knew that sleeping was out of question. She hardly slept on good days. And today had certainly not been a good day. She thought about everything that had happened.
Before she knew it her thoughts got stuck on the blond girl. Clarke. She smiled again. Not on purpose she just couldn’t help herself. Clarke had made her feel safe. She couldn’t explain it. But when she had looked at her, her anxiousness had faded to a minimum.
Who was that girl? She had known the ropes. She had seemed at ease at the gala. And she had said it was a family obligation. Lexa thought about getting her laptop and googling her for a second, before she decided against it. She probably wouldn’t be able to find her anyway. She didn’t even know her last name. For all she knew Clarke could have been a waiter.
Although her dress and jewellery had said otherwise. Both of those things had screamed money. And her confidence was something else as well.
Without thinking Lexa reached for her guitar and absentmindedly startet strumming a random rhythm. The soft sound soothed her nerves. Calmed down her brain that always seemed to be working on over drive lately.
Before she knew it her fingers were flying over strings her mind coming up with words that sent her scrambling to the coffee table, where she grabbed an abandoned napkin and hastily started scribbling down lines that came to her.
After what felt like hours of strumming, writing down, crossing out aggressively and then adding it back again, she looked at the napkin in front of her, an exhausted smile finding its way onto her face.
The now slightly crumpled piece of paper was full of little notes. She had written a song. With actual lyrics.
After months of writers block, of not even looking at her guitar, she had finally managed to start a song. Sure it wasn’t finished by far but it was a start. A good start.
The grin spreading on her face, she grabbed her phone after placing her guitar back on her stand. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Like she was finally free of at least a bit of what troubled her. Like maybe she could do all of this after all.
She opened Anya’s contact and typed out a message, barely containing her happiness, before she hit send, placing her phone on the table and settling back onto the couch, closing her eyes and feeling Nyko slowly worming himself between her and the back of the couch.
Lexa Woods - 3.18am
‘I did it! I just did it!’