Work Text:
Buck and Eddie were not subtle, they never had been. They looked at each other with heart eyes, stood too close to one another, touched too often; that was never a problem. Buck broke up with his boyfriend, Eddie came out, they were closer than normal, and it was no problem. Everyone knew they were dating, but nobody wanted to ask. The entire 118 and their spouses agreed they’d let the boys date in secret until they were ready, what was the harm? The boys were not subtle, but they thought they were, so everyone would pretend they couldn’t tell they were dating now.
The two of them dating wasn’t the problem, it made perfect sense. They were best friends, codependent, coparents, and entirely insufferable apart.
The problem was, it was a Saturday night, Eddie and Chris were visiting family in El Paso, and Hen just spotted Buck making out with a stranger across the bar.
Hen quickly pulled out her phone, snapping pictures of Buck and this mystery girl in quick succession as they pulled apart. Hen ducked behind a group of people watching carefully as Buck guided the girl outside. She felt her heart sink and she followed them out a few feet behind, watching as the two got into Buck’s jeep.
*New Group: Six Participants*
Hen:
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Guys what do I do
Maddie:
Oh my god
Karen:
Is that Buck???
Chimney:
no way
Athena:
That boy is not that stupid.
Bobby:
Are we sure that’s Buck? Not just some weird doppelganger?
Hen:
It was 100000% Buck. I watched them get into his jeep.
Maddie:
It can’t be, this has to be some sort of misunderstanding. Buck is not a cheater.
Chimney:
Babe I don't know how to tell you this..
Maddie:
?????
Karen:
Didn’t Buck cheat on that one girl?
Maddie:
WHAT???
Hen:
Yeah…
He swore cheating was a one time thing but…
Athena:
Someone needs to tell Eddie
Bobby:
We aren’t even certain they're actually dating.
Chimney:
Cap.. c’mon
Karen:
Hen stalk his instagram, we can probably find the girl
Athena:
Stalk is a strong word….
Karen:
Right right I mean
Hen casually look through his follower list
You should be able to find her I’m sure
He doesn’t have that many followers
Chimney:
Are we telling the girl?
Hen:
I mean we gotta right? She deserves to know he’s taken before it gets serious right?
Maddie:
And what about Eddie?
Hen:
I don’t know Maddie. How are we supposed to tell him?
Maddie:
I don't know..
Karen:
Let’s tell the girl first, we can talk to Eddie when he’s back from El Paso.
Athena:
When does he come back again?
Bobby:
Monday.
Chimney:
What do we do about Buck?
Hen:
I’ve had one too many drinks to think about that right now. Karen, I am on my way home,, we will find the girl together.
When Hen got home, it didn’t take long for her and Karen to find the woman's profile. Turned out her name was Julie, and she had multiple photos posted with Buck going back at least three weeks. Hen’s heart broke for Eddie, she wasn’t supposed to know but they’d all figured out the boys were dating four months ago; now they find out Buck has been cheating for at least one.
—-----
When Buck woke up in an empty bed, there was a strange pit of disappointment in his stomach. Him and Julie weren’t together, but usually she was there in the mornings.
They weren’t partners, just friends who fuck. She posted him occasionally, they went out together (usually just to bars), after sex she’d stay the night, Buck would make pancakes in the morning. They weren’t in a relationship, but they were definitely more than friends. They were in a situationship, if you will. Buck wanted to commit, Julie kept brushing off the suggestion of being official, something about how she just didn’t think the vibe was right and they worked ‘better’ this way. Buck thought maybe that was just an excuse for her to keep seeing other people, which he didn’t mind.
There wasn’t an expectation of Julie staying the night, but it had become the norm.
Buck sighed to himself as he pulled himself out of bed. He started to make his way down the stairs after using the bathroom, and was startled to see Julie sitting on his couch. She was sitting there, arms crossed, staring at him stone faced.
“Oh hey, sorry I thought you’d left. I’ll start breakfast now.” Buck rambled out, not really thinking much about her body language. She was clearly upset, she had never gotten herself out of bed before Buck, that aside, she was staring at him with a gaze made of ice.
“You should tell your boyfriend what we’ve been doing.”
Buck stopped in his tracks, what boyfriend , he thought to himself as he turned to face her.
“You think of me every time you screw him? Or is it vice versa?” Buck stared, jaw slack from shock, as Julie stood up and approached him.
“You must think I am dumb. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? That you wouldn’t get caught? Did you think you could play me for a fool, keep me wrapped around your thumb? God, and what about him ? Did you stop to think about all the people you were going to hurt? They told me you have a kid! You turned me into a homewrecker oh my god!!”
Julie was yelling, and Buck couldn’t find it in himself to interrupt her. She’d stopped talking, and still Buck just stared at her.
“Are you going to fucking say something Evan!?”
And that was a valid question, he should say something right? The thing is, he had no idea what to say. He had no idea what she was talking about. What boyfriend? What kid? Buck spent another moment wracking his brain, trying to figure out who he pissed off so bad they’d lie for the sake of ruining his life.
“Julie, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t have a boyfriend, the only boyfriend I’ve ever had I broke up with like eight months ago. I certainly don’t have a kid either? At least not as far as I know?”
“WOW.” Julie’s voice echoed through the apartment causing Buck to flinch slightly.
“Look Julie, I don’t-”
“No! No! Don’t offer me some dumb excuse, it’s one thing to lie about the boyfriend, but to deny your son?”
“Julie! I’m serious! I do not have kids! I donated sperm one time, so I guess biologically yeah I do have a son, but he’s not MINE. His dad is an old friend I had from college, who is STRAIGHT, and married to his son’s mother. I don’t know who told you what but I am NOT a father, not yet, and I do not have a boyfriend! Please tell me what you are talking about!”
“I got a dm on instagram, they said they know you and saw us last night at the bar. I think it’s a burner account? There’s no pictures and the profile picture is just a flower, the username is henren.”
“Henren?? That's my friend-slash-coworker’s account? It’s a mix of her’s and her wife’s names. I don’t understand why she would tell you that. What exactly did she say?”
“She said ‘Hi I know you don’t know me, but I am a close friend of Bucks. I saw you guys at the bar and I think you should know he has a boyfriend. Eddie, his boyfriend, is one of our coworkers and neither of you deserve this. I’m not sure exactly how long they’ve been dating, a few months now I think, but they've been best friends and coparenting their son for like seven years. Nobody blames you, I know Eddie won’t. We haven’t told him yet. Anyway, wishing you the best. Sorry to have had to break this to you.”
Buck stared in silence again, he was too stunned to speak.
Why would Hen say that? He and Eddie were not dating. Yeah they’d been best friends for seven years, and Buck has done his best to help with Chris but he isn’t his dad, even if he loves Chris like a son. Buck never told them he was dating Eddie, was Eddie telling people they were dating? No.. Eddie wouldn’t do that, but then why would Hen say all that? Did she just make an assumption? She said ‘nobody blames you’, implying there's more people in on it. Has the entire 118 just assumed he and Eddie were dating? Why?
Buck is lost in his head, stuck in a downward spiral of anger and confusion.
“Hello? Earth to Evan, are you going to say something?”
Buck was snapped back to reality. Julie didn’t look pissed anymore, just disappointed. Buck thinks that might be worse.
“I don’t know what I’m meant to say. I have no idea why she would say that. Me and Eddie are not a couple, I know we can be a little codependent but-” Buck trailed off as Julie waved her hand at him dismissively.
“Whatever Buckley. Look, this has been fun and you have been really sweet but I think we should call it.”
“Julie I swear-”
“Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t care that much honestly. Whether you are or aren't dating him is beside the point. If you aren’t you’re obviously close enough in a way that people think you are. It’s too messy, this was supposed to be simple and fun. Go tell your boyfriend what you’ve been up to, your friends are probably going to anyway.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“If you say so.”
With that, Julie grabbed the last of her things and left. Buck stood in silence for a moment longer before his body filled with rage.
Before he could stop and convince himself to calm down first, Buck was in his jeep and pulling out of the parking lot. He was going to get to the bottom of this before Eddie got home, he deserved some goddamn explanations.
—---
Buck was zoned out for a majority of the drive, he was pretty sure he didn’t break any major traffic laws but if he did? Well needless to say he didn’t care that much right now.
When he finally pulled into Hen’s driveway, there were an additional two cars parked out front. He knew they were all inside, this only made him angrier. He rushed to put the car in park before jumping out, slamming the car door behind him as he raced up the driveway. Once at the door he started pounding on it with an intensity he didn’t know he had in him, he was just that angry.
The door swung open, he was greeted by Chimney who had a shocked expression on his face.
Buck shoved Chimney backwards, pushing his way into the house yelling.
“You all think you’re so fucking funny don’t you? All hanging out, having a little laugh? You can’t just let me have one thing? I thought you were my friends, my family! What the fuck guys?”
“Woah there Buckaroo, take a breath.”
Usually, Athena’s calming voice was enough to get Buck to relax. Right now, it feels mocking.
Athena telling him to take a breath, to relax, feels like a stab to the chest. He could get over Hen, Karen, and Chimney betraying him as some sort of joke but Athena and Bobby?
“Don’t try to tell me to calm down Athena, I want to know what the hell you guys were thinking! Why would you go out of your way to ruin my life? I know I don’t have a great track record but jesus! I really liked this girl!”
“Evan, we couldn’t just sit back and watch. We love you, I love you, but what you were doing is wrong. I know you know that.”
Buck spun around to face the direction the voice was coming from. He stared at Maddie, a new kind of horror hitting him. The knife in his chest felt like it was being twisted. Buck couldn’t help but fall to his knees, letting out an exasperated sob as he hit the floor. Maddie of all people is the one person he never expected to betray him like this. He never thought she was capable of something like this.
“I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about.” Buck’s voice was broken up by sobs, the group stared at him in silence for a moment before Hen decided to speak.
“Look Buck, I know you guys never announced it but we could all tell. We know you and Eddie have been dating for at least four months. We didn’t know when you all were going to announce it but we couldn’t just pretend not to know you were cheating on him until you did. You get that right?”
“Me and Eddie are NOT dating! Why do you guys think that?” Buck was crying harder now, his head was buried in his hands. He heard Maddie mutter a soft oh god from the corner of the room, a deafening silence following suit. All Buck could hear was the sound of his own sobbing filling the room. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and he shoved it away, pushing himself to his feet.
“Buck we didn’t mean to- You gotta understand-” Chimney broke the silence first, starting sentences he didn’t know how to finish. Buck just shook his head in response.
“Gotta understand what? That you all made an assumption? Which was kinda homophobic if I might add. You assumed two queer men were in a relationship, because what? We are friends? If one of us was a woman you would never. You wouldn’t assume Chim and Hen were a couple, or Dan and Sierra from B shift. I always expect for people to assume the worst in me, I really thought you guys were different.”
It took Buck awhile to get his words out. Between sobs and gasps for air, talking wasn’t exactly easy but Buck had a point to make.
“I want to know what was going through your guys' heads when you decided to meddle like that. When you, Hen, decided instead of approaching me at the bar you were going to internet stalk me and text the girl I’m seeing that I’m a cheater, with no real base to go off of. What the hell made you all decide we were dating?”
“Buck.. You gotta understand, it’s not just because you’re friends. You guys are attached at the hip, co parenting a child, you guys look at each other with heart eyes. After you broke up with Tommy, Chris came home, Eddie came out, and y’all were so much closer. You guys always look like you’re thirty seconds from making out. I mean you gotta look at it from our perspective. You two have always been touchy but it’s way more now, you’re hardly ever at the loft anymore. Are you really telling me you two DON’T have feelings for each other?”
Buck stared at Hen, a blank expression on his face, as he thought about it. He and Eddie were inseparable. He always felt the need to be making physical contact with him, feeling like he might drown anytime the two of them are not connected. Eddie was Buck’s lifeline, he made the buzzing under his skin go silent, and oh.
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
Buck stared back at Hen, everyone else in the room was painfully quiet. Buck did not enjoy having a crowd as he came to a crushing realization.
“Oh, I’m in love with him.”
“Did you- Did you just realize that?” Chimney was speaking now, Buck turned to face him, nodding as tears kept streaming down his face.
“Oh Evan.” Maddie’s voice was soothing as she pulled him into a hug. A part of Buck was still angry and wanted to pull away, the rest of him just had a heart shattering realization and leaned into his sister's touch.
“Why did you guys do this to me? I had something good going and now I’ve realized I’m in love with my best friend who most certainly does not love me back. I’m going to have to suffer with the weight of these feelings or risk ruining the best thing I’ve ever had.”
He looked around the room, taking in the six looks of pity and sighed.
“Next time maybe just mind your own business before you decide to ruin anyone else’s life.”
“Buckaroo-” Athena’s voice was soft, Buck waved his hand dismissively.
“I really don’t want to hear it. Whatever excuses or apologies you all have, I don’t want to hear it.”
Nobody spoke after that, they all stood there for what felt like forever but was only a couple minutes in silence until Buck made his way out the front door.
“What do we do? We have to do something right? There’s no way Eddie doesn’t love him back.” Karen broke the silence after the door clicked shut behind Buck.
Maddie stood at the window, watching as his car pulled out of the driveway. “I’ll talk to him. He undoubtedly needs a breath before any of us try to approach him again but we have to fix this.”
“So operation Buck and Eddie then?” Chim smiled mischievously and Bobby finally interjected into the conversation with a frown.
“Maybe we outta just let it be. Buck was right, we need to stay in our business. The boys are smart, they’ll get there eventually. We’ve already done enough damage sticking our noses where it doesn’t belong. Let’s keep the meddling to a minimum for now.”
The group all nodded in agreement. Even if they wanted to intervene for the boy's own good, Bobby was right; meddling wasn’t a good idea.
After a long pause, Athena and Bobby excused themselves and made their leave. Chim, Maddie, Hen, and Karen all stared at each other.
“So, we’re definitely meddling right?” Karen spoke first, earning soft laughs from the rest of the group.
“I don’t know, Cap seemed pretty adamant we don’t.” Hen replied, earning another laugh from Chimney.
“When has that ever stopped us before?”
And well, Hen couldn’t argue with that.
“So what’s the plan?”
“Well I think I should talk to him first, he’s most likely to listen to me I think.”
“Well of course, you’re his sister. Alright, you guys have to pick up Jee and me and Hen have to go get Mara and Denny. Maddie let us know when you talk to him and we will think of a plan from there.”
Everyone made sounds of approval and started getting themselves together to head off.
—-------
When Buck got back to the loft, he couldn’t help but let the door slam behind him. He couldn’t find the energy or motivation to drag himself up the stairs, so he opted to just flop onto the couch instead.
How did I not notice? How could I feel this strongly about someone without realizing? Buck spoke out loud to himself. He was feeling utterly dejected at his new realization, when something else clicked.
“I’m your first, not your last.”
Tommy’s words resurfaced in his mind. He had quit trying to decipher them a few months prior, but suddenly they made sense. Did Tommy know he was in love with Eddie too? Did everyone know he was in love with Eddie?
Against his better judgment, Buck dialed Tommy’s phone number. Before he could convince himself to hang up, Tommy’s voice was coming through the phone.
“Buck?”
“Tommy hey.”
“Why are you calling? Is everything okay?”
“Um everything is fine mostly? I just um I have a question. This suddenly feels really stupid. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“Relax Evan, it’s okay. What’s your question?”
“When we um- When we broke up you said something and I-”
“Buck-”
“No- no please let me finish. You said you were my first, not my last; that I’d end up breaking your heart. Did you- Did that mean something specific or?”
“I don’t know if you really want to know what I meant by that. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I can’t tell you.”
“Was it about Eddie? Do you think I’m in love with Eddie?”
“Yes. You two clearly are in love with each other. You should probably talk to him, not me.”
Buck didn’t have time to think of a reply before the line went dead.
Eddie was going to be home tomorrow, and Buck had no idea what he was going to do. How was he supposed to act normal?
Buck managed to drag himself to his bed, laying flat on his back. He stared at the ceiling for hours, replaying every interaction he’s had with Eddie trying to place where it all went wrong; when exactly did he fall in love with his best friend- and
Oh.
“I’ve been in love with him the whole time.”
The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, he lays there crying until he falls asleep.
When he wakes up, he contemplates calling out. Ultimately he decides against it, his job is the only thing that makes sense anymore; he wasn’t going to lose that too.
—-------
Eddie’s first day back was weird; he was only gone for four days, but everything feels tense. There was an uncomfortable silence in the firehouse that he tried to ask about but no one would give him an answer. The worst part of it all is, Buck would not look at him.
Buck knew he couldn’t avoid how he felt forever. He thought coming to work was the good idea, now he’s thinking maybe he should’ve called out.
Four hours into the shift Eddie watched with a puzzled gaze as Buck walked into Bobby’s office, only to walk out and head home after only a few minutes. Buck didn’t look sick, he’d been cold and distant to everyone on shift and Eddie couldn’t help but worry.
At the end of shift, Eddie seized his chance to corner Chimney. Chimney is the station gossip, he’ll undoubtedly know what’s going on and he won’t be able to stop himself from telling him the gossip.
“Alright Chim, I know you know what’s going on. Why is everyone being so weird, and why is Buck avoiding me?”
“Look Eddie-”
“No! No Chim! Don’t give me some lame excuse! Please!”
Chimney sighed, and looked down at his feet.
“You need to talk to Buck. We all-” Chimney cut himself off and sighed.
“We all kind of fucked up, badly. Did you know Buck was seeing someone?”
“Julie? Yeah of course I did, why? What does she have to do with anything? Did she do something to him? Do we need-”
“No- No Eddie, she didn’t do anything. Look, I don’t know how to say this.. So we all just kind of assumed you guys were-”
Chimney trailed off, Eddie had an expression on his face Chim couldn’t quite place.
He gave Eddie a chance to interrupt, he took his silence as a signal to continue.
“Hen saw Buck and Julie at the bar being a little more than friendly. We know we had the wrong idea and we are so sorry. Hen found and messaged Julie on instagram that night because we all thought he was cheating on you.”
“You all- Wait everyone? Does Buck- Is that why?”
“You’re going to have to give me a complete thought here buddy.”
“Is he avoiding me because he knows I’m in love with him? I thought I was so careful, he was- He wasn’t supposed to find out. What am I supposed to tell Christopher?”
“Wait what? You- Christopher??”
“Yeah, Chris loves Buck. Bucks basically a third parent to him. He already lost his mom, I can’t be the reason he loses his Buck. God I’m so stupid, he wasn’t supposed to find out.
“Eddie, Eddie- Eddie he doesn’t know.”
“What? Then why is he avoiding me?”
“You should really talk to Buck.”
With that, Chimney spun around on his heels and darted out the door to his car.
—----
*New Group Message: 4 participants*
Chimney:
Plan Buck & Eddie is going to be easier than I thought.
Hen:
How? Buck didn’t look at any of us, and then left early.
Maddie:
Yeah, when I showed up to his loft he wouldn’t even open the door for me.
That’s like never happened before.
Chimney:
Yeah well Eddie just freaked out on me too when I told him what we did.
Karen:
How is that a good thing?
Chimney:
It’s a good thing because he thinks Buck is avoiding him because he’s in love with him.
He asked specifically if Buck was avoiding him because we told him he’s in love with him.
Maddie:
omg I’m going to call Buck right now
Chimney:
I told Eddie to go talk to him, but we know how they are. Might take more interference, so good idea.
—-------
Buck stared at his phone, it was on its fifth ring. Usually for Maddie he answered at the first, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to answer at all. He ultimately decided to answer because well, what if it’s an emergency?
“Buck! Hey, how are you doing?”
“What do you want, Maddie?”
“Look Buck, I care about you. I know we fucked up but I think this thing with Eddie can be good.”
“Good how? He doesn’t love me, I’m going to ruin everything. I’m going to lose him, lose Chris. I don’t know how to hide it from him, I’ll probably end up losing the 118 trying to hide my feelings.”
“Buck I really don’t think that’s the case. You and Eddie look at each other with so much love in your eyes. When you’re in the room, you’re all he looks at. Buck, Eddie looks at you like you hung the moon and pinned every single star in the sky up by hand. I really don’t think you need to hide your feelings from him, I think he loves you too Buck. You’ll never find out unless you try. If somehow I’m wrong? Well, you two will figure it out because you’re Buck and Eddie, something like this won’t do you in. Even if it does, don’t you think it’s better to tear the bandaid off now rather than later when it’ll hurt more.”
Buck thought about it for a moment and she was right; there had to be some sort of reciprocation for people to think they were a couple and not that Buck was just pining. Even if he didn’t feel the same, it was better to rip off the bandaid and go from there.
“Yeah, you're right. I- I’ll go talk to him. He’s probably home now.”
Buck didn’t give Maddie a chance to respond before he hung up, just because she was right doesn’t mean he’s entirely forgiven her yet.
He sighed to himself, taking a moment to debate if this was a good idea before sliding on his shoes, grabbing his keys, and walking to the door.
He stared at the door for another five minutes before opening it, startled once he did.
Outside his door was Eddie, Buck wasn’t sure how long he had been there. It didn’t look like Eddie was planning to knock, he was mid pace when the door opened.
“Eddie?”
“Buck!”
“What are you doing here?” Buck was doing his best to sound calm, trying to keep a safe distance from the man in front of him. If he was calmer he probably would’ve noticed the way Eddie was anxiously picking at the skin on his thumb, or the way he was staring at him with hearts behind his pretty brown cow eyes.
“I just- You were avoiding me and then Chim told me what they did and I’m sorry. I didn’t, I mean I would never on purpose lead them to believe something like that, or interfere with your relationship. You have to know that even though I have some big feelings for you, I would never intentionally do something to hurt you. I know you liked Julie and just because I’m in love with you I wouldn’t- I mean I want you to be happy, even if-”
Buck wasn’t sure how to respond or how to stop the other man's panicked ramble, then suddenly the words “I’m in love with you” came out of his mouth and Buck couldn’t stop himself from surging forward.
Before Eddie could finish his thought, Buck’s lips were connecting with his. The two found themselves in a quickly deepening kiss. Time felt like it stopped as each of them took in the feeling of the other in, taking time to memorize every touch, and sensation, the way the other smelled and tasted. Finally, Buck pulled back, smiling softly at Eddie who was staring at him with wide eyes.
“I’m in love with you too by the way, just in case that wasn’t clear.”
Eddie laughed softly, moving closer to Buck before he spoke again.
“Oh good because that was the best kiss of my entire life and I think you might’ve just ruined me for anyone else.”
—------------
*New Group Message: 8 participants*
Buck:
Sooo big news
Eddie:
Buck and I are together now
Buck:
So you guys are forgiven for meddling
THIS TIME
Athena:
Congrats boys!
Karen:
Hen you owe me $20
Congrats guys
Hen:
its okay Chim owes me $40
also: FINALLY
Chim:
Damn y’all couldn’t get together tomorrow? I’m out $90 now. Congrats though I guess about damn time.
Hen:
Who did you bet $50 against?
Maddie:
Congratulations guys!!
@hen $30 to me lol, I said they’d get together within one hour of me hanging up with Buck, we hung up twenty minutes ago.
Karen:
the other $20 was lost to me
Bobby:
Should I be concerned about the betting pools?
Also congratulations boys, meet in my office tomorrow for some paperwork.
Buck:
I’m concerned with the fact that Chimney lost three separate bets, c'mon man you really had no faith in us?
Chimney:
I thought you avoiding people would last at least one more day☹️
Eddie:
Well to be fair, I was outside his apartment when he decided to come see me.
Who knows if he would have actually made it to my house
Buck:
hey! I totally would have!
Eddie:
Yeah okay babe
—--
Buck and Eddie turned off their phones and smiled at each other from across the couch.
“For the first time ever, I’m really glad our team is so nosy. It was killing me to hear about Julie, the thought of never getting this is insane now.”
“Me too. I mean Jules was great but this is better.”
“I have a question for you, I know it’s fast but um-”
“Hey, it’s okay. This has been a long time coming, pacing is neither here nor there. We’ll take it as it comes.”
“Move in with me? I mean I have to talk to Chris and all that but, I can’t imagine any more days without you.”
“Eds, nothing would make me happier.”
Buck gave Eddie another soft kiss before the two settled in for the night. Happy in each other's arms, they quickly lulled to sleep.
This was only the first day of forever, and they couldn’t wait for the rest of it.