Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She knew making excuses for him wasn’t right. She knew it wasn’t helping. She knew being here, stuck with him as her only company, wasn’t helping. It’s not like she had any other choice though.

Three days ago, she was tucked away in a warehouse, learning how to speak like a pirate and building a Raid Zeppelin replica in hopes of the ninja team - or what was left of it - having some kind of cover to stop Nadakhan. They were already three team members down and none of them had the energy to keep fighting, and that only carried on into their battle. 

Kai and Zane had been taken by Nadakhan. Nya had been upset when her brother was taken. She wasn’t entirely sure where. She wasn’t entirely sure how. All she knew was that he was trapped in that stupid sword with nothing and nobody to help him. Kai was stupid sometimes, they all knew that, but for him to wish everything away was something she couldn’t have seen him doing. Whatever he saw, whatever happened, must’ve been bad enough for him to give in pretty easily. Zane was taken quickly too and he was the smartest one of them all. 

The shock that had come across the three remaining ninja when they discovered Jay was still alive, still fighting, was insane. Sure, they’d all been telling each other that he was okay, that he was strong, but none of them truly believed he hadn’t given in, especially after what had happened on Tiger Widow Island. When Nya saw Cole standing on the (wrong) Zeppelin with Jay standing firmly by his side, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes.

Everything after that happened so quickly and four turned into two. Now she was stuck in a lighthouse on a remote island in the middle of the ocean with the one person she’d sworn to despise just a few weeks ago. 

Well, despise was a strong word actually. She never truly hated him. She couldn’t, even if she was supposed to, even if she felt it briefly… 

Ever since Nadakhan was released, Jay had talked himself into so much trouble, not just with the djinn but with his own friends, and truly he only had himself to blame. He was a loudmouth, there was no doubt about it, and there was certainly no doubt about him getting himself into this rat trap. Nadakhan picking him out as his first victim seemed about right. Jay was gullible and naive; Nadakhan must’ve been able to tell. Besides, as much as Nya hated to admit it, Jay was insecure. That made him the perfect target. Nadakhan just managed to grab him while at his weakest.

Sure, Jay had been manipulated to some extent but did that excuse his behaviour?

Since the two had arrived at the lighthouse, Nya had avoided the topic altogether. She avoided Jay too. He was quiet, much more closed off, and she couldn’t necessarily blame him. In fact, she was quite thankful that he wasn’t talking her ear off or trying to persuade her to fall in love with him like she’d thought she’d done when they were much younger. He’d talked a lot on the way to the lighthouse, but now that the two were stuck here with nothing to do, nothing to talk about without it getting awkward, the pair drifted. Jay spent most of his time napping or staring out the window - everything likely catching up to him - while Nya sat by the ocean a lot. It calmed her and Jay never seemed to want to come outside.

He was injured. It was unclear what Nadakhan and the sky pirates had actually done to him on that ship, and Nya hadn’t had the chance to speak to Cole before he was taken away like the others, but from the way Jay had stood on that Zeppelin made her heart ache. He looked exhausted, and she could tell that just from looking at him now - days later. If his injuries were anything to go off of, it was a genuine miracle that he was still here. She was glad he was, but there was part of her that… perhaps wished he’d been the first taken.

It felt cruel. Blaming Jay for everything that had happened wasn’t fair, but it truly was a domino effect. Sure, Nadakhan would’ve targeted them all eventually, taking everyone one by one like he’d already done, but they could’ve stood a proper fighting chance if Jay had just been honest from the start.

Why he lied made no sense to her. Lying wasn’t new to Jay, he’d done it often, but never to this extent. She tried her best to understand his point of view, to understand that he was scared and worried about losing those around him (especially Nya) but so much would’ve been prevented if he’d just… not lied.  

She wanted to trust him. She wanted to trust that they’d get through it. That she wouldn’t fall victim to Nadakhan, that she wouldn’t be forced to marry him, that Jay would be okay too and they could get their friends back, but right now it wasn’t looking hopeful. Especially not when she knew she couldn’t trust Jay at all. What if he lied again and that risked their lives too? They were the only hope Ninjago had left.

Nya sat at the beach, her gi getting all sandy, feeling the ocean wash against her toes. It was relaxing. It helped her to think clearly. 

She’d packed her new Airjitzu gi in the bags before leaving the other day so she’d wear it some time soon, but right now just didn’t feel like the right time, especially not when the two hadn’t thought of a plan yet. She wanted Jay to rest. 

Taking in a deep breath, letting the fresh sea air cleanse her throat and lungs, she could still feel that nervous knot in her chest. She couldn’t ever fully relax knowing her life was still on the line. Well, actually, sure she wasn’t ever going to actually die or be taken away, but she still feared everyone around her would. And besides, she didn’t want to marry some ancient creep. The thought of marrying anyone made her feel sick actually. Perhaps coming up with a plan would’ve made her feel better, but the last thing she wanted was to face those conversations with the man currently in the lighthouse. Jay had been through a lot recently, he’d never coped well under stress, so she wanted him to get the rest he needed before anything else happened, but that only provided her with more time to think. She hadn’t spoken to him properly since they arrived here. The time to unwind was nice though.

She wanted to hate Jay. She wanted to blame him specifically for everything that’s happened. For all of their friends being taken away, for being forced into this marriage, for being trapped here with the person she wanted to be around the least, but she couldn’t and it only pissed her off.

Why couldn’t she hate him for it? After all, it was his lies that led to all of this. It was his disregarding behaviour that led to everything that's happened. She shouldn’t feel bad for him at all, so why did she feel so guilty? Why did she feel responsible?

And why , oh why , did she still care for him like she always had done, if not more? 

All Jay had shown since Nadakhan was released was that he didn’t care much for her own feelings because all he wanted was to be together with her. He didn’t care about their conversation when Nya had tried to explain her feelings because he’d made those stupid wishes with Nadakhan not even a minute later. He hadn’t understood her at all and went behind her back. He’d been secretive and acting weird and not treating her like she had her own choices and feelings. He’d tried to use wishes to win her heart. 

All of that and she still cared. 

Was it just because she felt bad for him? Was it because she felt solely responsible for a lot of it? Her feelings for him had never gone away, she was just tired of all the fighting and having to choose a boy felt so wrong. She could be independent and the world only ever seemed to see her as one of the ninja’s girlfriends. She hated it. That’s why she never acted on her feelings, but she’d known all along that she wanted to be with Jay. If she’d just pushed everything else aside and chosen him, would any of this hav-

No. 

She was losing her mind. Maybe it was just intrusive thoughts. The whole point of never ‘choosing’ someone to be with her was to show the world that she was much more than someone’s girlfriend. She knew that if she had actually chosen Jay back then, like the world wanted, she would’ve only ever been in Jay’s shadow. There would’ve only been more arguments about who a ‘better match’ would’ve been. It wasn’t worth it and it certainly wasn’t worth her own mental health. She had just been lucky that Jay and Cole understood that she didn’t want to choose and that they worked things out between them. Perhaps that was another reason she hadn’t wanted to start dating Jay again. Would that have caused another rift in their friendship?

And if she hadn’t chosen herself over them, maybe she would’ve never found out how disregarding Jay could be. He wasn’t a bad person, she knew that, but he let his thoughts and feelings take over and that often led to him acting selfishly. She knew he meant no harm, but that didn’t mean she should have to give in, no matter how much she still wanted to be with him. If he wasn’t to learn from his actions, there was no way she could ever trust him again. Just because he’d gone through a lot and just because she still cared about him, didn’t mean he shouldn’t be held accountable. 

That didn’t make any of this less hard though. 

She let out a small sigh, closing her eyes and bringing her knees up to her chest. The beautiful world around her had become so cruel. Everything felt like a punishment and no amount of hopeful sighing would ever help her to relax. She was truly stuck. 

Nadakhan was looking for her. Not even just looking, but actively tracking her down. He wanted her. He wanted to marry her. Keep her hostage. She’d barely even had the time to process it all properly. At least these last few days sitting out here somewhere (hopefully) safe gave her the time to think it all through. 

Hopefully this was all just a bad dream and she’d wake up in the safety of her bed, the birds chirping outside, and the sun shining… with an understanding Jay and the team back to normal, and her brother … God, she could really do with a hug from Kai right now.

She opened her eyes again, staring out across the water. The waves weren’t rough. They were soft and soothing, something she was thankful for. They hadn’t had a storm yet and quite frankly, she didn’t want one. She finally starts to feel the knot in her chest unravel, but it doesn’t last long before she hears footsteps behind her. 

She prays to god that it’s not him .

“Do you want company?”

Her eyes close, the knot unraveling a little again as she lets out a small relieved sigh. She feels the sand beside her move as he sits down. Once she opens her eyes, calming herself, she forces herself to glance at him slightly. He doesn’t look at her. Instead, his gaze is fixed on the horizon.

His hair was scruffy. He still wore the same gi he wore on the ship - torn and shredded in some areas - some of his injuries visible through the cuts in the fabric. They looked angry. Painful…

His eyes, though, seemed to be the worst. One of his eyes was a paler blue than the other - the one he’d had an eyepatch over just a few days ago - but she didn’t think to question why. The last thing she wanted was for him to think about what happened. The dark circles under his eyes, which had only gotten darker since they escaped, was what worried her the most right now though. 

Her eyes remained on him, “you look exhausted.”

He doesn’t respond, nor look at her. He just blinks and there’s something sad under his initial expression. She can’t blame him for that. Like she thought about before, he’d never coped well under stress. The past few weeks had been more than stressful. Nya considered this to be their most tiring battle yet. 

“Have you slept at all?” she asked gently.

He just nods. Was that yet another lie?

“What about you?” he asks, his voice slightly hoarse. 

Nya shrugged, “a little.”

The two sat in awkward silence for a minute. Nya sat with her feet in the water, watching as it hit her ever so gently. Jay kept aware of their surroundings, glancing around every so often, but ultimately staring out at the horizon ahead of them. She’d never seen him so wary. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable at all.

To Nya’s surprise, Jay didn’t glance at her once. She wasn’t sure why. Whether it was because he was uncomfortable, or if he was trying to hide something, she didn’t know, but she did know that he was trying his best to look strong. Nya could see right through the facade. 

She wouldn’t tell him that though. He needed the strength right now.

“You’ve been quiet,” he finally speaks up, quieter than intended, “are you okay?”

It was a stupid question because neither of them were okay and it was obvious, but the fact he was asking was nice. She appreciated it. For someone so clueless sometimes, he was a pretty observant person. 

She attempted to clear her throat, the knot in her chest returning slightly. 

“You should be honest,” Jay glanced down at his crossed legs.

Nya frowned, her gaze landing on him once again. He looked somewhat lost.

“...I’m tired?” 

He let out a light chuckle, “well obviously, but I mean about everything.”

All she did was look at him with a light frown. She stayed like that for a minute - just staring at him, trying to read his mind. Maybe it seemed clear to him what he meant, but to her he could’ve been asking about anything. It was vague.

Perhaps opening up about everything clouding her mind would be a good thing though. Jay had never been the best listener but he was the only person within distance and it’s not like she could complain to her brother about everything. Jay had been quiet, too, recently anyway. Perhaps he’d be a good listener now.

She took a deep breath in and let it out a few seconds later, closing her eyes once more as the cold water hit her toes. She was safe. 

For now.

“I’m worried about Nadakhan,” she started, opening her eyes again, “which I guess is obvious but…”

Jay didn’t say anything.

…

“He’s powerful and… I just don’t want to be forced to marry him.”

She looked at him briefly, but all he did was stare out at the ocean with a somewhat guilty expression. He seemed lost in thought, but still paying attention. She took it as an opportunity to keep speaking.

“We’ve lost so much, so many , and the thought of him winning… ugh . It makes my blood boil.”

“He hasn’t won.”

Nya blinked, he was finally staring at her. He seemed so sad, so broken. But then again, after everything that’s happened, who wouldn’t be?

“Not yet,” he glanced away nervously.

He didn’t appear to have much hope left in him. Neither did Nya. As much as she wanted to cheer him up, to tell him they’d win and defeat Nadakhan, she couldn’t lie to him. Lying was what got them here in the first place. 

Honesty was a superpower she wished they both could harness. 

“I hate turning my back, thinking he’ll be waiting for the perfect time to attack,” Nya sighed, bringing her knees back up to her chest, “I know he’s lurking out there, tracking us down, and it makes me uneasy.”

Jay nodded, closing his eyes briefly. He let in a sharp breath and cleared his throat, hoping to sound less hoarse.

“Can I ask you a favour?” 

“Depends what it is.”

“He told me a lot while I was on the ship. Most of it bullshit, sure, but it had me thinking..” he refused eye contact, “can you be honest about me? About how I’ve been the last few weeks?” 

Nya is taken back by the question. She might’ve expected it from someone else, but never Jay. He liked to protect his peace. He never usually cared about how others felt about him, which was why he was always unapologetically himself. Loud and proud. Though, if Nya was in his shoes, she’d likely ask the same thing. Everything had been hectic recently. 

She was glad he asked. It meant she could be honest without feeling bad and if he was asking for full honesty while looking, well, how he did… he’d clearly spent a lot of his ‘naps’ thinking. 

At least he was willing to hear her out. Hopefully this would be a turning point.

“And I mean, like, brutally honest. I think I need to hear it,” he added with a lighthearted chuckle. It was fake, of course.

She looked away from him, her eyes landing on the sun that was beginning to set before them. There was so much to say yet so little she wanted to tell him. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel worse. It was evident he was already blaming himself and if Nadakhan was whispering things into his ear 24/7, he was bound to be spiraling already. But if this was what he needed…

Nya needed to get it off her chest too. 

She took a moment to think, being careful with her wording. The last thing they needed was a fall out, or an argument, or for Jay to think the worst of himself. After all, they needed to remain strong right now. 

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly before returning to look out into the horizon.

“...I hated you.”

She didn’t dare look at him.

“I hated you back on Tiger Widow Island. I didn’t really know how else to react. I mean, I felt betrayed.”

Jay nodded, glancing back down at his crossed legs. 

“I was annoyed before, but I thought we’d resolved it that day outside the police station. You said you’d understood that I wasn’t interested and then… not even a few minutes later, you made the wishes.”

She felt the knot in her chest begin to cease.

“And I don’t fully blame you for the wishes.”

“You should.”

“I can’t,” Nya corrected him, “Nadakhan manipulated you.”

“I still made them.”

Nya stopped. He was right, she knew that, but that wasn’t the point of the conversation. It wasn’t clear to her whether he was looking for forgiveness or if he was being genuine or not, but she returned to the main topic as quickly as possible.

“I was mostly upset about the lying. It was never about me being in your reflection, if that’s what you were worried about, because it would be stupid to blame you over something you can’t control. I was upset because you weren’t honest. I was upset because even though you knew it’d happen, you still tried your best to get it to happen, even after I told you how I felt. To be completely honest, Jay, it… it was selfish.”

The two sat in silence for a minute, Jay waiting while Nya collected her thoughts. It was nice to get it off her chest, and since Jay had gone completely silent, it made her feel a little better about getting it all out. 

“I know you better than you think so I know you were worried about my reaction, and what it meant for our friendship if I found out, but… I mean, I know it’s been a while since we were really… close… but I thought we were at least still good enough friends to be honest with each other about things like that. You never had to tell me straight away, obviously, but when everyone started disappearing and Nadakhan was targeting the team, you should’ve just come clean. It could’ve at least prevented anything else happening or anyone else disappearing.”

She dared to look at Jay and he didn’t seem any different. He just looked dumb and lost, his eyes fixed on the setting sun. She couldn’t quite tell if he was taking any of what she was saying in, or if he was just letting her get it all out and things would go back to normal, but it felt nice to get it all out in the open. And if he was listening, it felt nice knowing he was taking it all into consideration at least. 

That knot in her chest was all but gone.

“You not taking accountability when Cole told the truth was the cherry on top of the cake,” she glanced away, letting out a small defeated sigh, “it was like you just doubled down and acted like you did nothing wrong.”

She let herself think for a minute, taking everything in. She’d never expected to be sat by the ocean on an island in the middle of nowhere, talking about how shit Jay had been to Jay himself. If Nya a few days ago knew, perhaps she’d convince herself against it, but now that she was here and doing it, she felt so much better. 

She couldn’t speak for Jay though.

“None of that meant I wanted you to be taken away though. And whatever happened to you on that ship was not deserved at all,” she finally glanced at him again, “you made mistakes. We all do that sometimes, but… it’s still not an excuse for what you did. If you… understand what I’m saying.”

All she did was stare at him for a moment, watching as he blinked slowly, his eyes sad and dreary. 

And he nodded.

He opened his mouth to say something, but he struggled, catching on his own breath. She gave him a moment to collect himself, staring at him with a patient gaze. 

“I’m sorry.”

His voice was croaky and darker than usual, she could only imagine it was mostly due to the pain his throat was in - something to do with an injury from the MisFortune’s Keep - but she could tell how much it hurt him. She was grateful he listened.

“I don’t have a good excuse for any of it and you… were right,” he struggled, “I was selfish.”

“Not entirely,” she shrugged.

“No, don’t go back on it just to be nice. You have every right to be honest about it,” he told her, “I should’ve been honest. And I definitely shouldn’t have disregarded you. I’m really sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.”

Nya gave him a somewhat sweet smile - not that he could see it. She looked back out at the ocean, the sun turning the sky into a soft shade of orange and pink. Getting everything out in the open sure did make her feel better. Perhaps under any other circumstance, she’d think the setting was pretty. She’d be one hundred percent honest with Jay about her feelings if it didn’t mean going back on everything she’d just spoken about. Maybe in the future…

She let out a constricted breath, watching as the ocean water drifted further and further away from her. 

“Both of you seem so convinced you see a future with me, but what voice do I have in all this?” Nya questioned, sounding a little hopeless, “all my life, I’ve been defined by someone else. First I was only known as Kai’s sister, then I was hidden in your shadow when all they saw in me was your girlfriend, and even when I tried to be Samurai X, Wu told me I had to become the water ninja.”

Jay looked at her with an understanding gaze, paying close attention as she spoke. 

“All I want is to just be able to choose for myself,” she added quietly, “and for everyone to stop treating me like I’m some damsel in distress.”

When she glanced back at the man beside her, all he did was give her an apologetic, warm smile. It sure did make her feel better. Perhaps he couldn’t find the right words right now, which she understood, but it was evident he felt awful and wanted things to change for the better. Though, it was hard to tell if he properly understood just yet, she at least had hope it’d be better from now. Besides, this heart to heart had been a long time coming. Hopefully Jay would open up more soon too.

Nya returned the smile and let some fresh air into her lungs, hoping it’d fill her with some more joy.

“But right now, we have to worry most about Nadakhan because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna stop to think about what I want.”

Jay’s smile faded and he nodded, returning to looking out at the horizon. He seemed deep in thought again.

“Do you have any ideas on how to stop him? I’ve been trying to think of something but nothing has come to mind. At least nothing that’ll work anyway,” Nya wondered.

Jay thought for a moment, his brows furrowed slightly. Nya watched how puzzled he was. After a while, he shrugged.

“I can’t really think of anything.”

Nya gave him a warm smile. It was clear he was trying to keep a brave face. Now that they’d started to talk things out, they could be open about more things and that meant easily discussing plans. Hopefully Jay would become more talkative in time too.

For now though, they both could do with a pick-me up.

She got up onto her feet carefully, brushing herself off and turning to Jay with a light smile. She held a hand out to him, which left a somewhat puzzled expression on his pretty bruised face.

“Why don’t we go get some noodles and we can come up with ideas around the table?”

Jay glanced down at the hand in front of him, waiting for him to take it, but all he did was gaze back up at her soft expression and shook his head lightly.

“It’s okay, I think I’ll sit out here a bit longer.”

Nya was a little surprised, but couldn’t blame him. She knew how nice it was out here and this was the first time he’d been outside since arriving at the lighthouse. After what they’d just talked about, perhaps he needed some time to think. Nya knew that feeling all too well. 

“Okay,” she told him softly, “let me know if you need anything.”

And she headed off up the stairs, glancing back every now and then to check on Jay. He remained sitting on the sand, watching the sunset, but now he’d brought his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knee. 

There was something holding him back, she was sure of it. But since Nya had opened up to him, perhaps he’d be able to open up soon too. Whether it was about what Nadakhan had said to him on the ship, about what Nya had spoken about, or something else, she wasn’t sure, but Jay could never keep things to himself for all that long. 

Hopefully he’d do what Nya did and open up about what was bothering him eventually. Hopefully Nya could learn to trust him again in time too. 

Right now, they both just needed to think.

Chapter Text

The setting was supposed to be calming... relaxing... but it wasn’t.

He didn’t feel safe at all. All eyes were on him constantly, either despising him or pitying him. Perhaps he deserved the hate. The pity, not so much. If only he could be invisible.

Nya had spent everyday out here, sitting by the ocean, letting it drift up to her feet, taking deep breaths as if the sea air was healing her. Jay thought maybe it’d have the same effect on him. But how could he relax when he needed to keep an eye on their surroundings at all times? That stupid djinn could turn up at any moment, catch them when they least expected it. Then in no time, Nya would be captured and forced to marry him, and Jay would be back at rock bottom, being the sky pirates’ personal punching bag. He couldn’t do it anymore.

So he needed to be prepared. It meant living on edge 24/7, watching over Nya like a hawk, and never letting himself drift into a moment of peace and emptiness. His ears remained open, focusing on every little noise around him. His eyes remained peeled, even when they threatened to close even for a few seconds. All he could do was slap himself awake in fear of missing something.

He hadn’t slept in days. When he was on the Misfortune’s Keep, he still could barely sleep and spent most nights questioning why he was even still here, why he hadn’t wished it all away. Even though those nights were basically filled with nightmare naps, that was still the last time he’d rested. He didn’t let himself drift off for any more than a few minutes since being at the lighthouse. He kept himself awake with black, slightly out of date, coffee he found from when Dr Julien had lived here years ago, but Nya didn’t know that. He couldn’t let her find out because she’d only force him to sleep properly. Even if he was forced to, there was no way he could relax enough to fall asleep. Besides, it’s not like he deserved it.

So he watched over her instead. Sometimes when she was sat outside, thinking he was inside in a deep sleep, he’d sit in the window and make sure Nadakhan wouldn’t appear out of nowhere and attempt to take her. Perhaps it was overprotective, but he couldn’t risk anything happening. Not when he knew exactly how Nadakhan treats his hostages. 

He’d spent so much time thinking. Thinking about what Nadakhan had told him all those days on the ship, everything the ninja had told him before he was captured, thinking about everything the world had been trying to tell him from the beginning. He was selfish. He was responsible. Everything was his fault. And as much as he tried to avoid the typical bad thoughts - because he felt guilty for trying to make it about himself - he just couldn’t seem to escape them. He wanted to fix everything, to make it up to Nya, but he didn’t know how. 

And now he was sat out here alone - much to his own fault - questioning why he was still here. Why hadn’t he just wished it all away? Wouldn’t that have been better for everyone?

The ocean drifted away from him, the bright colours in the sky fading ever so quickly. The moon was coming from behind him - somewhere he checked often - and the horizon became a dark blue. The stars usually made him happy, they were the only things keeping him company on that damn ship every night, but now he just felt sick. He didn’t deserve to be seeing them again. Not here.

His lungs were struggling, and the sharp pain in his side whenever he dared to move - probably a broken rib or two - made him feel weak. If he was to be attacked out of the blue, he stood no chance at fighting it. Not to mention if he did end up back on that ship, he’d be done for in a matter of minutes. He should’ve just given in.

The cool breeze against his open wounds didn’t help. It stung but he couldn’t dream of wincing. He could still barely see out of one eye. It felt ridiculous. 

He needed to relax. They were safe here. It’d been almost a week since they escaped Nadakhan. Surely if he knew where they were, he would’ve found them already, right? Or was he just playing the long game, waiting to strike at a time that seemed best, when they were at their most vulnerable? 

Jay took a deep breath in. If his stress levels remained this high for any longer, he was bound to pass out. He needed to be at his strongest for when they were hit. He had to defend Nya, not because he loved her, but because he knew what Nadakhan was capable of and he was at fault for it. 

As he began to let himself relax, his fingers digging into the warm sand, a loud slam behind him made him jump completely out of his skin. He whipped round to see what it was, and when his eyes laid on the front door of the lighthouse, he realised he’d just been dramatic yet again. The door wasn’t even anywhere near him yet he flinched like a gun had been fired meters away from him. 

He tried his best to enjoy the view, to enjoy the silence, but it didn’t seem so silent at all. His mind was loud, always constantly running, just like he was. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself he was safe now, he truly wasn’t. He’d never be safe until Nadakhan was gone for good. 

When Jay was 7, he watched Aladdin for the first time. He’d been such a huge fan of the genie, singing and dancing to the song as if he were the boy in the movie. He felt he could relate to Aladdin in some way. Jay wished he had his own genie. He wished he’d find his own teapot one day and could wish for whatever he wanted. Maybe that’s another reason why he wished to be rich. It was all he dreamt about when he was little.

Now he was being tracked down by the very being he swore he loved. The very being he wished he’d encounter. Now all he wanted was to be as far away from it as possible. The djinn hadn’t made any of his dreams come true; it’d made his life even more of a living hell.

Nadakhan had treated him like a toy. Pushing him, kicking him, throwing him around. Passing him from person to person to have their turn to play. Now all Jay felt was the constant eyes on him. It was bad enough living on that ship knowing they all hated him, but knowing the only thing they thought when they stared at his features was how they wished so badly they could rip it apart, cut it, bruise it, destroy it… It made Jay want to die.

And Jay thought his own friends had thought that of him too. 

Nadakhan had never given him a break and now even when Jay wasn’t under his hostage anymore, it still felt like Nadakhan had him wrapped around his little finger. His hot breath constantly on his neck, his hook gliding across his cheek, his hands gripped to Jay, his sharp nails digging into Jay’s skin… He couldn’t escape it.

He deserved it, didn’t he?

Maybe being alone wasn’t a good thing after all. He’d spent so long on that ship thinking about everything that had happened, everything that could happen, all the things he’d done… he’d pushed his mind to its limit and now he just felt numb. Lost and numb. 

Another crash coming from the lighthouse made him jump. He shot up onto his feet, eyes darting as he attempted to turn on his heel. The panic filled him and he didn’t quite realise how fast he’d moved until the sharp pain in his ribs returned. He tumbled backwards but ultimately managed to catch his fall. While he took a moment to breathe, to balance himself, more crashing came from the lighthouse and the more he listened to it, the more he realised it was just Nya moving some pots to make dinner. 

He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He was too paranoid. But Nya definitely shouldn’t be on her own. Not right now.

Jay made his way back up to the lighthouse slowly, trying his best to not overwork himself while going up the millions of steps. Nya was busy cooking when he arrived upstairs. She barely noticed his presence. He took a good look around, taking in his surroundings. The light-headedness didn’t help - courtesy of the dehydration and starvation from his time on the ship - but he did his best to stumble over to the table, holding his burning side gently in hopes it’d help steady himself. He kept his eyes on Nya, making sure she didn’t turn around to see him in pain. 

He sat down at the table in the seat closest to the window so he could look out and keep watch. The fresh air was nice too. Nya eventually turned to see him, his eyes fixed outside, but she didn’t say anything. She let him sit in silence, taking in the view outside. He looked exhausted, fed up, and she couldn’t blame him. She felt the same.

But there was something he wasn’t telling her. She knew a lot must’ve happened on that ship. She knew how ruthless Nadakhan could be, or could at least imagine it. She saw how ruthless Nadakhan had been to Jay on Tiger Widow Island. She couldn’t fathom what must’ve happened on that ship for two weeks. Jay’s injuries seemed bad. Though she hadn’t seen them all and Jay hadn’t talked about them, he was clearly in constant pain and the injuries she could see didn’t seem gentle at all. Jay had never been so quiet and closed off. So lost. It worried her and it certainly worried her for her own future too. If Nadakhan didn’t get his way, would Nya end up in the same boat?

She finished making noodles and slid a bowl across the table towards Jay. He glanced down at it before giving Nya a grateful smile. It wasn’t his usual smile. It was laced with uncertainty. She decided to leave him though, to give him chance to gain some energy and provide the silence he wanted. She continued to make her own noodles. 

After a while, though, she turned her head to check on him but all she was met with was the sight of him staring down at the bowl, using a fork to poke at the noodles. None had been eaten. He just stared at it blankly. Under any other circumstance, he would’ve finished it by now. He would’ve been talking away with a mouthful of food. He would’ve been slurping up the leftovers. 

But now he was just sitting in silence, staring at it like it was nothing. Like it was poisoned. He had no energy at all. He’d lost that spark everyone adored in him so much. 

Whatever the hell Nadakhan had done on that ship, whatever the hell bullshit he’d been whispering into Jay’s ears, he was going to pay. He really was.

Once she’d finished making her own noodles, she cleared up and sat down at the table, opposite Jay. He didn’t dare to look at her, his eyes fixed on his food, swirling his fork around. Nya began eating, hoping that perhaps he’d just been waiting for her, but after a few mouthfuls, he still didn’t touch it.

“You’re not eating?” she questioned, trying to sound encouraging.

She continued to eat, hoping he’d feel less pressured and would just join in, or maybe her question would encourage him, but he didn’t even look at her. He just shrugged.

“I’m not really hungry.”

The long, silent pause matched with his much deeper, hoarse voice, made her nauseous. 

“..sorry,” he added.

Now that she thought about it, she had no idea if he’d been eating since the escape. They hadn’t spoken properly in days - Jay spent most of his time trying to nap and Nya had been outside a lot, so she hadn’t seen him make any meals at all. Considering how much thinner he looked, despite not fully being able to tell because of his slightly baggy gi, she could only assume he had barely been eating on the ship, if not at all. Though, it’s not like she could blame him for not eating because of the stress. She, too, wasn’t really peckish but she at least knew that the energy was needed to keep fighting. 

“Was it what I said outside?” Nya asked. 

She knew the real reason though. Bringing it up when Jay wasn’t ready didn’t seem fair and the last thing she wanted was to start an argument or cause a further drift between them. They needed to be closer than ever right now.

Jay shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I told you I needed to hear it… And I did.”

“Are you sure?” her brows furrowed slightly, “you can be honest, y’know? Was I too harsh?”

“No. If anything, you weren’t harsh enough.”

The awkward silence between them made Nya uncomfortable. Jay usually always tried his best to fill the silence even with a nervous laugh or stupid joke. Now he seemed to be the cause of the quiet. 

Nya watched as he continued to pick at his food, his chin now resting on his hand. She continued to eat slowly.

“I was pretty honest out there. You should be honest too,” she told him.

“About what?” he frowned.

“About me. Be honest; what have I done to hurt you recently?”

Jay looked up with a frown, confused as to what she meant. Perhaps Jay thought it was a trick. If there even was something he could mention, would she make him realise he was wrong and make him take accountability? Jay needed that, right?

“You? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Nya raised an eyebrow, “was there not even a brief moment where you thought I was being unreasonable?”

Jay took a moment to think. Maybe there was something but it was the last thing he could think of right now. He’d spent so long blaming himself for everything, even if he could think of something, his mind would only twist it back on himself. It was all his fault, after all. So he just shrugged and tried his best to avoid eye contact.

“I mean… after you found out the truth on Tiger Widow Island, I was upset, but it wasn’t at you or the others. I knew you guys were right and I guess it just came off as… something else,” he explained carefully, “I never saw you as being unreasonable.”

Nya looked down at her food awkwardly, her too now poking it with her fork. 

She took a sharp breath in, “say what you want but we were pretty harsh on you too. We shouldn’t have made you go down there on your own. It was dangerous and the little care we showed…”

She’d thought about it a lot when they were trapped on the island without Jay. Not just about how Nadakhan was probably treating him, but about what could’ve happened if things went differently. What if the Tiger Widow’s venom touched Jay? He could’ve died thinking everyone hated him. He could’ve died alone. It was one of Nya’s biggest regrets. 

She took another mouthful of food and chewed it slowly. Glancing up at Jay as she ate, she hoped he’d open up a bit more now, or at least would loosen up a little, but he still seemed closed off and avoidant. Almost like he was holding back in fear. Just plain fear. 

“Can we agree on something?”

He finally peered up at her again, intrigue written in his pained expression. Pain from the conversation or pain from his injuries, she wasn’t sure.

“If we’re gonna be stuck here, saving the world together, can we at least make a promise to be honest with each other about everything?” she asked, “and I mean everything . No more secrets.”

Jay didn’t even need a second to think, he just nodded. Secrets and lying was what had gotten them here in the first place and if being honest meant no more hurting, then Jay could definitely promise that. 

“Past, present and future,” Nya added.

Jay stared at her as she poked at her food again, swirling her fork around to wrap some noodles around it. He watched intently as she lifted it carefully and ate. Then he looked away as her eyes met him too. 

He wasn’t sure if she was referring to just being honest from here on out, or if she was relating to the future reflection, or perhaps being honest about the past, but he at least knew he was tired of running from his lies. He just wanted a break. It seemed that’s what she wanted too.

“Did Cole tell you the truth about the wishes?” he spoke quietly.

Nya hurriedly finished her mouthful, frowning as she swallowed.

“The truth? What do you mean?”

Jay took a moment to take a breath, giving himself the courage to be honest. If they were going to learn to trust each other again, he had to at least be honest about what he wished for, especially since it was what had caused this whole mess. Taking accountability was what she wanted too, and if Jay was going to learn anything from his actions, he needed to expose himself. It would only weigh down on him otherwise. 

“Back on the island, Cole said I wished for the mansion and boat,” Jay stated between short, staggered breaths, “he said those were my two wishes.”

She nodded, “I remember.”

Jay poked at his food again, moving the noodles around but still not picking any up. He felt sick just staring at it but maybe that was because he hadn’t felt hungry ever since that night he had dinner with Nadakhan.

“That wasn’t what you wished for?”

“He was covering for me,” Jay told her, his voice shaking slightly, “I didn’t ask him to but I guess I was glad he did lie at the time. Or- I mean, it wasn’t technically a lie because the mansion and boat were a result of the wishes but…”

Nya didn’t say anything, she just let him talk. This had been the most he’d spoken in days. It was nice to hear him semi-rambling again, even if it was about something so disheartening. Much to her dismay though, Jay stopped talking. He closed his eyes and took in a small deep breath.

“My original wish was that I didn’t want to be poor.”

Nya’s brows furrowed slightly, confused as to what exactly he meant. It didn’t seem too bad to her. It made sense, actually. Jay had always been worried about money and had joked about becoming rich one day. She didn’t understand why he was making it a bigger deal than it actually was.

“I wouldn’t judge you for that, Jay. I mean, doesn’t everyone want to be financially comfortable?” 

Jay couldn’t look at her. He just focused on poking at his noodles. He was hesitant to keep talking.

“I… made the wish because I want to impress you.”

Nya frowned, “money doesn’t impress me.”

“I know,” he sighed, “but I guess in the moment I thought it was a reason you didn’t like me and it’s dumb, really dumb and-”

“Nadakhan talked you into it, didn’t he?” she sat forward in her chair.

Jay looked up at her briefly with a confused glance. Her arms were crossed and she stared at him with such intensity. It made him uncomfortable.

But he shrugged, “a little but it was still my decision. I was still stupid enough to make the wish, even after the conversation we had outside the police station.”

Nya returned to looking at her food, picking up her fork again and swirling some noodles around it. 

She knew Jay was right. She knew he was responsible for his own actions, even if he was pushed to do it, but at the same time, she wanted to make excuses for him yet again. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, everyone knew how gullible and vulnerable Jay could be. Nadakhan just took advantage of that.

The best thing to do was stay quiet though because the last thing she wanted was to go back and forth arguing with Jay when he was at his lowest right now. He would only find any excuse to bring himself down. 

Now that she thought about it though, they’d discussed so much outside the police station, not just Nya’s feelings for Jay (or lack thereof) but also her boundaries. She’d specifically said she didn’t want to be in a relationship because it overshadowed her individuality in the ninja team. She really had thought Jay understood, but in reality, he only continued to think of himself. As much as she wanted to disagree with Jay and solely blame Nadakhan, it still made her uneasy that Jay was so quick to change his mind and take back what he ‘understood’ only a few minutes prior. She could understand he was upset and confused because of the reflection, but it still didn’t mean he should’ve disregarded her like that. 

She didn’t say anything else though. Jay just looked back down at his bowl, still not willing to eat anything. 

“So... you indirectly wished for the mansion and boat?” 

“I guess,” he responded dryly.

“And now you’re rich?” she raised an eyebrow, “y’know we could use some of the money to stop Nada-”

“I don’t want to be.”

Nya stopped, frowning at him.

“I know that’s what I wished for but… I don’t know,” he took in a shaky breath, “I just don’t want it anymore. And I haven’t even been given the money yet anyway.”

“Hold on, if you haven’t been given the money, how come you got the mansion and boat? They were free?” she questioned.

“I… inherited them.”

“Your parents are rich now too?”

The awkward pause that came from Jay as he clearly tried to come up with something made Nya slightly uneasy. Whether he was trying to come up with another lie or not was beyond her, but she just hoped he’d be honest. Whatever it was, though, it didn’t seem like an easy thing to talk about. Maybe this was about more than just his embarrassment.

He kept poking at his food. Nya wished he’d just eat something. Even a few mouthfuls at least.

“You could say that,” was all he responded with.

“What is it?” she was skeptical.

Jay glanced up at her with a frown. She could tell there was something he wasn't telling her. There was something he was holding back. Whether it was another bad thing he’d done or another questionable choice, or if it was even something Nadakhan had done, she didn’t know, but she did know that he needed to get it off his chest. The sad glint in his eyes proved that. There was a restricted manor to him, like he wanted to talk about it but was refusing. 

Jay was usually such an open person. He could rarely keep things to himself - that was probably how Cole knew about the wishes. The lightning ninja gave in so easily to anyone asking him for the truth, or he would be so desperate to get something off his chest that he’d just blurt it out and quickly regret it. The fact he was holding back so uncomfortably didn’t sit right with Nya at all. 

Jay, on the other hand, wanted to keep it to himself to avoid acting weird about it, or to seem ungrateful or like he wasn’t the cause of his own issues but at the same time, he’d likely never get it off his chest otherwise. It’s not like he could change anything that happened and he certainly couldn’t escape the truth about his family. 

Cole knew the truth, that seemed enough before, but now he was on his own, questioning everything he’d known. He could trust Nya, he knew that. Nya had always loved his family and she’d be just as shocked as he was. But if Jay said it aloud or admitted to it properly, it’d become too real. Would he lose his parents for good?

He sighed. Nya would only keep pestering him for the truth and he’d dug himself into this hole already. It wasn’t worth lying.

“I didn’t… inherit them from my parents,” he sounded hopeless.

“What do you mean?”

He took in another deep breath, although trying to hide it. Nya didn’t say anything else, just giving him the time to gather the courage and find the right words.

Jay began bouncing his leg under the table, swirling the fork around more in the noodles. He bit his lip, focusing on not letting any tears form. He couldn’t be upset over something he caused. That would be stupid. 

He didn’t know what to do except awkwardly laugh.

“Turns out I’m actually adopted and my birth father is mega rich and famous and lowkey a misogynist or something I think.”

Nya just stared at him blankly for a moment. Jay couldn’t gather the courage to look up at her, to read her expression, because if he did then he might just burst into tears. 

He’d been thinking about it a lot while on the Misfortune’s Keep. He’d cried about it a bit but he thought he was pathetic for it. Crying about something that was ultimately his own fault felt ridiculous, especially in front of Nya. Perhaps if he acted like it wasn’t a big deal, or that he didn’t care as much as he did, maybe he could trick himself into believing it wasn’t so bad.

Nya could read him like a book though. His nervous leg bouncing, the way he stared so intently at his food to try to distract himself, the way he gripped the fork in his hand, made it so so clear that Jay cared more than he let on. And even if Nya couldn’t see these things, she knew it hurt Jay deeply. He loved his parents so much, everyone knew that. 

After they’d all been judging him for wishing for the mansion and boat, in reality he was suffering with the harsh truth of his family and finding out that after your whole life of being poor, your father is actually mega rich. It was so cruel.

Nya couldn’t begin to think about how Jay was feeling, but he seemed so defeated. Like he was just in a state of denial.

Freaking out about it wouldn’t help, so she kept her shock to herself and tried to be reassuring.

“That’s just a result of the wish though, right?” 

She had a feeling it wasn’t.

Jay shook his head and Nya just stared at him in shock.

“Nadakhan just wanted to tell me the part of my life I wasn’t aware of. Now my parents have started referring to me as their ‘adopted son’ or themselves as my ‘adoptive parents’ even though they said they hoped me finding out the truth wouldn’t change anything,” he sighed, “but it’s my own fault really. If I hadn’t wished to-”

“No, it’s Nadakhan’s fault,” she shook her head.

“How?”

“He twisted the wish,” she stated firmly, “you asked to be rich, not to know the truth about being adopted. He just wanted to tear your family apart. He just wanted to give you a reason to wish it all away. Everyone made the same mistake of falling for his wish trap. It didn’t matter what you would’ve wished for, it still would’ve had a bad result.”

“Doesn’t matter. I still made the wish. It’s like a domino effect. Sure, Nadakhan was at fault, but it was ultimately my actions that started it.”

“Not all domino effect starters are at fault, Jay.”

“Okay, but in this situation, I am.”

Nya wanted to say something to make him feel better but it was hard. She couldn’t believe it at all. Jay was basically a spitting image of Ed and Edna. It made no sense to her but it made sense why Nadakhan would reveal something that would ruin Jay’s perception. 

Out of everyone in Jay’s life, he cherished his parents the most. They were the only people he had his whole life that cared for him so dearly. Nadakhan targeted everyone with the one thing, or one person, they cared about most to tear them down. Jay’s just so happened to be his parents. The two people that had loved him forever no matter what. Of course Jay finding out that their love wasn’t by blood would be the deepest cut, not to mention them referring to him as their ‘adopted son’. And then encouraging Jay to make decisions that would purposefully put holes in his bond with Nya would be the salt in the wound. 

Jay had already practically lost his parents, but Nadakhan making him lose the girl he loved and his best friends all at the same time was what made Jay break. That was Nadakhan’s plan all along. He knew getting Jay to wish it all away was proving difficult so he did the next best torturous thing; take everyone away from him and leave him completely and utterly alone. 

Except, much to Nadakhan’s dismay, Jay wasn’t alone. His friends and family didn’t hate him. It was quite the opposite actually; Jay just needed to see that again.

“How’d you find out?” Nya asked softly.

Jay took a moment to gather his thoughts. Nya continued to eat the rest of her noodles while she waited and listened. Now that Nadakhan’s plan had really clicked in her mind, she knew the right thing to do now was give Jay all the support he needed to build up his strength again. He’d been completely knocked down. 

“After the wish, I was given a letter that said my dad had died. That I’d inherited his estate and money.”

“Oh my god,” her eyes were wide.

“I thought I killed my dad or something so I rushed there because, I mean, what else was I supposed to do? But my dad was there. That’s when they told me I was left on their doorstep when I was a baby with only an address and key,” he explained with a shaky tone.

“Sorry, you were left on the doorstep of a scrap yard ?” Nya scoffed, “that’s dangerous as hell . If you ask me, you’re better off without that rich man in your life.”

Jay let out a light chuckle even though it hurt (both mentally and physically). Nya watched as he did so, though it was awkward and clearly not fully meant, but it was nice to see him smile again. 

“If the mansion and boat were a result of the first wish, what was your second wish?”

He shrugged, “I accidentally wished I wasn’t alone with Nadakhan. That’s when you showed up at the mansion.”

Nya nodded, it all beginning to piece together in her head. Jay rested his chin on his hand again.

“I swore against using my last wish after that, especially seeing what happened to Kai and Zane. If I’d known Nadakhan’s plan was to get us to wish it away, I would’ve said something.”

“Why didn’t you at least say you’d seen Nadakhan?” she asked with a soft, curious tone, “it’s not like he was some random djinn visiting you; we were actively looking for him and trying to take him down.”

Jay sighed, “I was embarrassed. I couldn’t take the wishes back and I didn’t want to look stupid or hurt anybody. I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t think he’d try to trap us all in his teapot.”

He paused, taking in a sharp breath. Then his eyes darted back down to his food and his posture became slightly closed off again. 

“But I should’ve said something, or at least batted Nadakhan away instead of making wishes,” he continued, “I’m sorry.”

She gave him a reassuring smile, but he didn’t see it, “everyone makes mistakes. The best thing we can do is learn from them.”

Jay didn’t continue and Nya took that as a hint to end their conversation. Jay had opened up about a lot, especially what seemed to be bothering him the most in the moment, so Nya was grateful. She was sure they still had plenty of time to talk before they had to get back into action. 

Jay continued to poke at his food, Nya watching as he did so. He seemed so helpless, so lost, the complete opposite of himself. Nadakhan really had done a number on him. 

Nya felt a lot better regarding Jay now though. He opened up more and explained himself, taking accountability for his actions. Maybe it was just a result of the treatment he’d endured on the Misfortune’s Keep - which Nya still wasn’t aware of - but she at least appreciated that he was honest for once. And now that she understood Nadakhan’s plans to tear Jay down and isolate him from everyone, she could help to get them back on track, even if it meant trusting Jay a little more. 

Jay would open up about what Nadakhan did on the ship in time, she was sure of it, but right now seemed like the time to rest and take things slow. Jay needed some reassurance. 

The best thing to do was work on building his strength back up and working on their trust. Then they could worry about their plans to stop the man who had caused all this mess in the first place.

That damn djinn.