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It was a Tuesday and he wanted to make things official.
Warren kicked at the tiny pebbles of the gravel that laid beneath his feet, hands in his pocket and head in the haze— literally and figuratively. It was a foggy night and he needed to get some air after being cooped up in his room all day, his thoughts taking stabs at his brain like a woodpecker on a tree. So he went to the marina.
He was overthinking this. There shouldn’t be a problem with asking the guy he’s been seeing for 3 weeks to be his boyfriend. They’ve been really happy and spend loads of time together so nothing should go wrong. Or at least that’s what Warren is trying to convince himself. What if he’s been making this all up inside his head? What if Nathan doesn’t like him as much as he thinks? What if he doesn't care about him? No, don’t think like that.
He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it slightly to relieve his anxieties. Maybe it’s the full moon making me feel like this, he half-jokes internally. This cold air isn’t helping. If anything, his bones are starting to feel stiff and he’s beginning to shake in his The X-Files hoodie he got for Christmas from his secret Santa, Stella. He thinks he’d rather focus more on his shaking than his thoughts.
Warren started to make his way back to his car, walking with quick speed to produce body heat. His shivers and quakes have calmed down so he switches his focus to the sound of the bay and the boats moving with the small waves. He makes it to his car and opens the door, having it left unlocked from when he arrived. Not his best idea, but he had other things on his mind.
He takes his seat at the wheel and lays his head back, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He also realizes his glasses have fogged up so he cleans them roughly with his sleeve and puts them back on, the bridge laying high up on his nose.
His thoughts wander to Nathan and he begins to wonder what he’s doing right now. Warren felt like an ass for ignoring him all day, but he couldn't get his mind straight. Nathan had invited him to his room earlier to watch a movie, and by watch a movie he means make out on his bed with the movie playing in the background, although Warren wasn’t going to complain. He denied his invitation, saying he was busy with some stuff and before Nathan could ask with what, he ran into his room and shut the door in his face. What an asshole move.
Before he could dwell on his previous actions any longer, his phone vibrated on the dashboard of his car, making him jump slightly. He reached over for his phone and read the text he received.
Nathan, 12:36am:
Open your door
Warren, 12:36am:
Graham isn’t home, leave a message after the beep.
Nathan, 12:36am:
Where are U?
Warren wasn’t sure if he wanted to be vague or just tell him. He decided to be vague, typing ‘Out and about’ but was interrupted with another text.
Nathan, 12:37am:
Please
Forget being vague.
Warren, 12:37am:
I’m at the marina.
Nathan, 12:37am:
On my way!
Nathan, 12:37am:
Fucking autocorrect I meant 2 shorthand that
Nathan, 12:37am:
Omw
Warren, 12:38am:
You mean text replacement?
Nathan, 12:38am:
Whatever
Warren sighed and turned on his radio, still leaving the engine off. His car wasn't exactly warm but it sure was warmer than the weather outside. He really wishes his heater worked right now. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, he began to go over everything that could go wrong, like he usually does. What if he doesn't want anything more than what we have? What if he's seeing someone else more seriously than me? God, what if he just walks out of the car and never talks to me again?
Warren was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of tapping on the passenger seat window. He turned off the radio then leaned over the console and manually unlocked it, pulling up a switch and pushing the door as far open as he could.
"That was quick." Warren spoke while keeping his eyes on his knees, thumb and forefinger playing with the stitching of his jeans.
"Yeah you've been MIA all day," Nathan stated while taking a seat, looking worried. "Everything cool? Also, I didn't know you wear glasses."
"Yeah, we're...cool." Warren said quietly, feeling the lump in his throat rise and ignoring the glasses comment. That wasn't a worry of his right now.
"Your stuttering is pretty intense, you cold?" Nathan asked, putting a hand on Warren's shoulder. "I have a blanket in my car that I could grab for you if you want."
Warren didn't even realize he was stuttering, he feels so out of it. He lifts his head up quickly to look at Nathan, so quickly that it makes him dizzy for a second. It's do or die at this point, and he knows that's dramatic but he really does think he might die. What a way to go, dying in your car at nearly one in the morning with the guy you have massive feelings for sitting in the passenger seat. He supposes that doesn't sound too bad.
Warren swallows —although his mouth is incredibly dry so it just feels painful — and tries to sound fine. "No, I'm good." He turns his head back down.
He's never felt this anxious around Nathan. He thought he had his thoughts under control but apparently not considering the state he's in right now. He thinks about the last time he was this anxious, 3 years ago at his house during the summer— No, Warren. Thinking about that won't help you right now.
"Alright. Well, what are you doing out here at," Nathan looks at the clock on his phone, "almost one in this morning?"
"I just wanted some fresh air."
"You couldn't get that in the courtyard?" Nathan quipped with a bit of a laugh.
Warren tries to chuckle, but instead lets out a small whine. Nathan's expression changes back to the worried one he had when he first got in the car.
"Dude, seriously, what's up? You're barely looking at me."
Warren goes to look at him again but is distracted by the rain that started to fall outside his car window. Nathan looks out the window as well, commenting on how sudden the downpour is, but turns his attention back to Warren and nudges his shoulder.
Warren focuses his gaze to Nathan, forcing himself to look him right in the eye. Nathan was looking at him with genuine concern, waiting for him to respond, and that gave Warren the reassurance he needed. He does care, he does care, he does care. Warren took a big gulp and came out right with it.
"Doyouwannabemyboyfriend?"
Alright, Warren. Slow down.
Nathan looked at him bewildered, not understanding a word he just said. "Uh, what?"
Warren breathes in. "Do you. Want. To be. My boyfriend?" he speaks slowly, more for himself rather than for Nathan to understand.
"Oh, wow." Nathan says, and all of Warren's anxieties come rushing back at him and he feels like a deer caught in headlights. He doesn't want to. His eyes go wide and he turns his head to the side quickly, feeling dizzy again, but before he can freak out too much he feels his right hand being surrounded by the heat of another's— Nathan's. He looks down at his hand then up to Nathan and he's smiling. "That'd be fucking awesome."
"What?" It was Warren's turn to be bewildered.
"I said yeah, that'd be awesome. You know, to be your boyfriend." Nathan spoke so casually that Warren felt like a complete idiot for worrying so much. That was the typical feeling he felt after being anxious, but it's never something he realizes while in the moment. "We've been kind of seeing each other for weeks now, so... yeah."
Warren registers Nathan's reply and beams at him, starting to laugh. Nathan chuckles, leaning over the console and kissing him. It's cut short by the sound of the heavy rain banging on the car roof and windows, being louder than before.
"You know, we can finish this in a much more comfortable setting back at my dorm." Nathan smirks.
"Yeah, I guess we can." Warren bites his lip, trying to sound as suave as his boyfriend just did. His boyfriend.
Nathan laughs lightly at his attempt and exits the car, lifting the back of his jacket over his head to avoid the rain and running to his own car. Warren watches him, smiling to himself and making sure he gets into his car safely.
He leans back into his seat and starts his car, the engine coming to life and the windshield wipers moving quickly. Warren turns the radio back on and the soft voices of Angus and Julia Stone singing "Draw Your Swords" drift quietly through his car, being a bit drowned out by the rain. Not his usual taste, but it'll do. He put his car in reverse and backed out of the parking lot, rocks crunching underneath the tires, and made his way back to the dorms.
It felt good to be official.