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It was daunting, despite the fact that he had been here before. It was daunting to be on a couch facing 25 people he had rejected. But unlike the previous week, Dean knew that this episode had a bright ending- Cas was somewhere in the building. Most likely he was in a green room watching the drama unfold on screen as it happened onstage. But the knowledge that in a short amount of time he would be able to see Cas’s actual face without a computer screen, to see the blue in his eyes without it being diluted by phone screens…made anything they could throw at him that much easier to deal with.
“Dean, as you know there are a lot of people who had disagreements with Castiel in the mansion.”
Dean grunted. Disagreements required actual conversations.
“And there are some people who believe you made the wrong choice.” A ripple of sound went through the studio audience, but it quickly quieted down before Dean could tell whether it was in agreement or disapproval.
“Are we talking about the audience members or about the people in the mansion?”
“Look,” Cassie interrupted, and was immediately handed a microphone. “Some of us think you don’t know the real Castiel.”
Dean wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew that wouldn’t look professional so he settled for digging his nails into his leg. Sam would be so proud of him. Even though his legs would be covered in marks at the end because his suit pants weren’t made to sustain such abuse.
“Look, as you can see from the videos Castiel was there for the wrong reasons and he tricked you into thinking he’s someone he isn’t.”
Dean couldn’t hold back his snort. The idea of Cas being coy enough to use his disinterest as a ploy to seduce Dean away from the others struck him as endlessly amusing.
“Is it really so hard to believe you don’t know Cas as well as you think?” Bela asked.
Dean felt hot under the bright lights. Even though everything was done to make the studio look homey and welcoming by using warm reds and oranges Dean couldn’t help but feel unwelcomed. Maybe it had something to do with the scrutiny of the unhappy faces surrounding him.
“Honestly? Is it hard for me to believe that I don’t know a man I’ve been talking with for six months as well as you know him after six weeks of NOT talking to him?” After the words left Dean’s mouth he realized it made no sense but it was too late to shove them back in. “Or whatever… yes. But you’re right. I wasn’t in the mansion. If people have stories they want to tell me that they think will change the way I view Cas, go ahead. I welcome you to share with the group.”
The group was silent, not that Dean really expected anything anyways. “See, yes, as far as I can tell you guys didn’t click with the guy. And that’s a shame, but thems the brakes. Doesn’t mean he was mean or rude to any of you.”
“He told me to take my last season dress and hit the road.” Cassie practically yelled into the microphone, and there was a ripple of reaction from the audience. This time, not so good.
But Dean couldn’t control the laugh that bubbled out from his chest. Cas had no sense of fashion. He might be gay, but the dude wore a trench coat in one hundred degree weather. The idea that he would know what season something came out was ludicrous.
“Yes,” Cassie continued, feeding off of the crowd's’ energy, her eyes large and expressive. She looked like a Disney princess, the epitome of believability and it made Dean’s heart ache for how much harder Cas was going to have to attempt to climb out of the lies she was digging him into. “And he told me I might as well put on my big girl panties and leave because he was running the show.”
Dean gave up the idea of scratching up his leg with nail marks and allowed himself to give into the laughter. He knew it wasn’t endearing him to the audience at all, but the straws they were grasping at were ridiculous. Cassie started crying and yelling, and Bela was insulting him but Dean was too far gone, trying to imagine his Cas in the picture they painted. It was too ridiculous, too extreme. Somehow the idea that he should not be laughing made him laugh even harder.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He tried to get that out while brushing tears out of his eyes.
“Why is this so funny to you Dean?” Even the host was clearly scandalized at his reaction. But it wasn’t something they couldn’t come back from.
Dean shook his head. “You’ll see later. Look. I understand how this all works. If you can make me look dumb and duped by villainizing Cas it makes you look better right? But I’m not going to let you spread lies to do that.”
“How do you know they’re lies?” Cassie’s bottom lip jutted out, but Dean could give a shit about her at this point.
Dean shook his head. “Look, when Cas and I stated that THAT ending was real life we were wrong.” The audience gasped, assuming the worst. Which Dean was quick to correct. “I mean everything that happened was real, but that wasn't exactly real life. Real life hit in the past couple months. I know Cas. I saw the ‘real’ Cas right after Daphne was diagnosed with cancer.”
And boy had he. The road to recovery was long, for everyone involved. And even though Daphne and Dean weren’t close, the gravity of the situation hurt Cas. And it killed Dean that he couldn’t be the one holding Cas’s hand while Cas held his mother’s hand through the treatments. To have to sit in front of a screen and talk was pure torture when the things that most needed to be done required no words only a comforting embrace and the ability to wipe away tears. Dean wanted to just take care of Cas but he was restricted by contracts and state lines separating them.
“I saw the ‘real’ Cas on a screen explaining to me how his dumbass bosses laid him off, despite being the best in his division seven years running, because they didn’t like his portrayal in the first couple weeks of the shows airing. Hell, even during filming I saw Cas week after week when people in the house were freaking pulling scenes from Mean Girls on the guy and he never once complained or pointed fingers. I have seen all sides of him. And sure, he could have offended some of you. He’s not exactly the reigning example of social niceties. But to say I don’t know him is a joke. And to expect me to sit here and play freaking Oprah when people are insulting the love of my life wrongfully, I’m sorry but that doesn’t sit well with me.”
It was quiet for a moment as both the audience and the cast members let that sink in. It surprised Dean when the audience started clapping but it comforted him all the same.
When Cole took the microphone Dean was itching for a fight, expecting the man to add fuel to the fire.
“Look, I just wanted to apologize.”
Okay. That wasn’t what Dean was expecting.
“No, you were right. I was one of those people in the house making Castiel’s life miserable. I thought I was defending you or something, but I… I didn’t see what you saw and I’m sorry.”
Dean nodded. “Thank you for that but honestly, you should apologize to Cas.”
“This is ridiculous.” Anna muttered, but since she was sitting next to Cole the microphone picked it up anyways. And the host, vulture that he was called her out on it.
“Look I don’t mean to be rude, but I guess I just don’t understand.” Anna started. “I mean you knew he wasn’t there in all seriousness. And I am glad it worked out. But why did you keep him around at the beginning? Especially when all of us were there FOR YOU.”
It was a good question. A question everybody that saw him asked him since the show aired. And he wished he had a real answer for her, but he didn’t. None that would soothe the hurt feelings or make sense to anyone but him.
“Can you really ask him that after having watched it all?” Meg spoke up. “Look it's clear Clarence and Dumbo here hit it off. Why should either have to apologize for the way they both found their sappy ending?”
Dean sighed. Cas had told him this was going to be a shit fest. Charlie had tried to convince both of them they were wrong. That it was so obvious they were meant to be together that even a blind man could see it.
Charlie had been pissed. Because during the competition she had only gotten one day off of work and Sam had convinced her to use her day to meet Lisa instead of Cas. She figured out quickly that had been the wrong choice. Quicker than most. In fact on the day the first episode aired, minutes after Cas stepped out of the limo on screens across America, she knew.
“You choose him don’t you?”
“Who?” Yeah, he appreciated the phone call, but she was calling in the middle of an interesting texting conversation with Cas he was eager to get back to. Both were reliving their introduction and he kind of wanted the moment to be between them.
“Don’t play dumb. Blue eyed angel boy.”
“I can’t tell you that Charlie.”
And like clockwork every week Charlie insisted it was going to be Cas. When Dean asked her why she always said the same thing “Not even scripted and edited television can create that intense chemistry.”
She had been keeping tabs on their online popularity for months, and it was no surprise that the audience took a quick liking to Lisa, and instantly disliked Cas. But as the show progressed so did the audience's views. Charlie informed him there was a huge group of people that “shipped” him and Cas. So much that the group who called themselves Destiel had drawn elaborate pictures, written stories about them, live tweeted every line between them in any episode, and even made pictures that moved (“GIFS Dean. Gosh grandpa. No, not like the Peanut Butter, that’s Jif with a J sound’) to relive moments on the show between them that they had enjoyed. Spoilersteve, a publication that claimed he used his inside sources in The Bachelor to announce at the beginning of every season who the final four would be and who would be the winner. He had never been wrong. And he announced Lisa as the winner, and most of the public thought it was a well established fact before the show even aired. Most people were certain that Dean was going to chose Lisa, even the people who shipped Destiel, but that didn’t stop them from hoping against all hope that true love would win.
Dean didn’t admit it to Cas, but he sometimes liked to flip through the pictures and read peoples comments. He liked to see people cheering them on. People's’ theories of how and why they did things, and sometimes just to relive the moments himself. He liked to think that there were people out there rooting for them, even during the dark times.
That still hadn’t made him, or Cas, anymore eager to face the public, or even worse, the rest of the house. The week before Dean had been here by himself and had been suffering a headache ever since. The Contestants Tell All was brutal, but it did have some silver linings. Dean found out that Pam and Billy were still dating, Ash was in a relationship with a girl from the bar he worked at and expecting a baby and Meg had gained fame from her stint. But a majority of the episode consisted of people yelling at each other for things that happened in the mansion and tearfully asking why Dean didn’t chose them.
Now that they knew who he chose, it was shaping up to be somewhat of the same. At least Lisa had been nice. When she came out the two were able to hug and talk kindly to each other- surprising both the audience and Dean himself.
There were no tears in Lisa’s eyes. She was too strong of a woman for that.
“I never stood a chance did I?”
Dean didn’t know how to answer that. “Honestly, I thought it was going to be you. You…” He took Lisa’s hands in his own. “Lis, you are the dream. Any man would be lucky to have you.” And they would, even the producers knew that, if their talk to have her be the next Bachelorette was any indication. “I always fantasized about ending up with a woman like you. But Cas…”
Dean shook his head, and Lisa squeezed his hands. “He took you by surprise huh?” She said gently.
Dean nodded, happy that she understood. But of course she did.
“I’m sorry.” And he was. Sorry for any hurt that he had caused her. Sorry that he couldn’t give her the ending she deserved. But he wasn’t sorry for the outcome.
“I’m not.” Lisa smiled, and Dean felt with confidence that any man that won her heart would be one lucky s.o.b.
But as the contestants fought and yelled, Dean tuned them out. Yes, it was a shit show. But in seconds he would be reunited with Cas. And it sucked that it had to be in front of people, some whom wished them ill. But oh, how his pulse raced at just the mention of Cas. He was almost driven insane by the fact that they were in the same city and hadn’t seen each other, unable to even drive across town for a glimpse.
“Now as you know,” The host began, breaking Dean out of his thought process. “This show relies heavily on our contestants talking to the camera. But I don’t think we’ve ever had as much of a problem as we did getting Dean to talk about Castiel. Let’s take a look.”
Dean looked up at the big screen and watched as he came into view in the suit from the first rose ceremony. It was the same room they always had him do his interviews in. Where he had to talk about the contestants, and Dean felt no longing to be back at the mansion again remembering clearly how it was to be in a cramped room surrounded by camera and crew.
“So what are your thoughts about Castiel?” A muffled voice was heard asking him. And Dean watched himself blink.
“That’s blue eyes right?”
“Um yes? He’s the one-“
“Nah, I gotcha.” Dean interrupted. Dean could tell this was at the beginning when they had first met. “He’s,” There was a cough from the person offscreen and Dean corrected himself for the cameras to make it look like he was saying it without prompting. “Cas seems closed off, but he’s hot. I’d like to get to know him better.”
“Any more to add?”
“Nope.”
That faded into another scene. Dean couldn’t place when, but it was the same room. “Yeah blue eyes is still here. What can I say? I like him. But instead let’s talk about-“
Slowly he got used to the scenes changing, most filmed in the room. “Why’d you gotta keep harping on the Cas thing? I like him. If I didn’t he wouldn’t be here. End of story.”
“My date with Cas? It was good.” There was a long pause and a muffled question could be heard offscreen. “We had fun. Yes. I’m sorry but is there food anywhere around here? I’ve been answering questions for hours.”
It faded into the gymnasium during their one on one date. “How is the date going? I don’t know. You keep pulling me aside to ask me questions! Guys, let a man get back to his man and see where it goes.”
Offscreen Dean chuckled. He thought the first time he referred to Cas as his was at his parents’ house but apparently he’d been thinking it a lot longer.
“Um Cas? He’s…he’s different. I don’t know. I know it doesn’t make sense to anyone… I just… What if….” Dean watched himself huff before sitting up straight and looking past the camera to the camera people. “You’re not going to air this right? Just nix all of that. Scratch it. Cas is Cas. He’s… he’s just…Cas.”
Last it went to Dean, standing in his tux getting ready before the final rose. “Yes, I am sure. I’ve never felt more sure in my life. Which may be infamous last words if this all goes to (Bleep). But, it’s the final reckoning. Either A- I become the laughing stock of this year, or B- I end up with someone who is way out of my league. What’s life if you don’t take a few risks?”
The video faded to black and the lights came up. The audience laughed lightly and clapped.
The host smiled to everyone around him, and Dean knew he wasn’t done. “But, Dean was nothing compared to Cas. Or trying to get Cas to answer any question really. I think I speak for our camera men when I say Cas is, without a doubt, the most complicated contestant we’ve ever had on the show.”
The screen once again faded, but this time to a picture of Cas. Cas’s face itself brought tears to Dean’s eyes with how much he just missed the man. Damn, when did he become such a sap?
“So Cas, can you tell us anything about you that makes you interesting?”
Cas scrunched his face. “I’m confused. Is this going to be sent to Dean?”
“No, it’s for the audience.”
“The audience isn’t attempting to date me, I don’t see how that would be relevant to them.”
Dean laughed alongside with the audience.
“We are just trying to endear you to America.”
Cas tilted his head. “Why?”
“So they like you.”
Cas squinted. “Is that a prerequisite for this process?”
“Um…no?”
“Then I will pass.”
It faded to another scene. “Why are you here?”
“Because this is where I have chosen to be.”
“Do you have feelings for Dean?”
“Pass.”
“How do you feel about Dean?”
Cas squinted. “This isn't a court of law. You cannot just rephrase the exact same question in a different way to trick me into answering it.”
“Is there a reason you don’t want to answer it?”
“I believe the mechanics of the word pass mean, I can still refuse to answer that question.”
It faded into the same gym, with a clear shot of Dean playing duck, duck, goose with the kids in the background and Cas watching him with a smile on his face.
“So how has the day been?”
Cas looked warily at the camera, before looking back at Dean.
“Did the date surprise you?”
Cas’s eyes softened, watching as Dean picked up the kid he was chasing and spun him in a circle like an airplane.
“Yes.”
“Do you love Dean?”
Cas’s face betrayed its surprise. He blinked a couple of times in confusion, watching Dean for a few seconds with a tilted head as if trying to figure out the answer himself. Then he looked back at the camera with a frown.
“How long am I required to talk to you before I can rejoin Dean?”
The person behind the camera laughed. “I need you to at least say seven sentences about the date.”
Cas nodded. “Today was adequate. Dean is a very pleasurable companion, and children seem to love him. I enjoyed being in a real place instead of a fantasy or someone’s drawn up version of a place. Dean is a good man. A righteous man. And any person would be very lucky to be able to have spent this day being able to witness it. Is that sufficient?”
“Would you consider yourself very lucky?”
“Cas! Suzy here says if you don’t come keep me from cheating she will be mad at you!” Dean yelled beaconing him over.
Cas smiled. “Yes.”
The video of Cas seemed to have been taken in a room minutes, or maybe hours, before Dean proposed to Cas. And Dean had seen bits and pieces of it in the editing of the final episode, but the tape seemed to have a raw quality to it.
“So this is the end?”
“Yes.” Cas answered, his previous guardedness dulled.
“Are you excited?”
“No.” Cas answered.
“Not even to go home and be able to see your Cat?”
Cas frowned. “Home doesn’t….” He shook his head. “Today is the end, and I find myself wishing…”
“Wishing what?”
“That home wasn’t so far away.”
“You’re eager to go home?”
Cas shook his head. “Home isn’t a place.”
“Is Dean your home?”
Cas frowned. “How much longer do we have to talk?”
“I need you to talk about what you think is going to happen today. What you want to happen. What you’re afraid might happen, ect.”
“They are all one in the same.”
“Can you elaborate?”
And Dean recognized the part that had been played in the show. “Dean is going to choose Lisa, and they are going to live this show’s version of happily ever after. And he deserves that. He is a man that denies his pleasure at being appreciated and being shown affection but he desires it all the same. He is a complicated, frustrating man. But there’s only one Dean Winchester. And the person that gets to spend their life with him will and should understand that they are the richest person in the world. And today is the day that his dreams come true and I couldn’t be happier for him.”
“Do you wish it was you instead of her?”
Cas shook his head. “I wish too many good of things for Dean Winchester than to wish that for him.”
“But what if it is you?”
“It won’t be.”
“But what if it is?”
“Then…” Cas smiled for a second before it disappeared. “I do not believe in dwelling on fantasy.”
“Are you sad?”
Cas looked up before looking at the camera. “I am disheartened that my time with Dean is cut short. I have enjoyed our talks together and…Lisa is very lucky.”
The camera faded and the audience clapped, a few of them wiped at their eyes before the host turned to Dean.
“How does it make you feel seeing that?”
Dean shook his head. “Dumb bastard. Thought he could get rid of me that easy.” The audience laughed, and the host went to ask another question but Dean was exhausted.
He was tired of the drama, he was tired from staying away from Cas and most of all he was tired of not being able to tell the man he loved how much he needed him in person. To be able to assuage Cas’s old fears and actually start on their happy ever after.
“Look, I know there are things you want to know, but that wasn’t easy to watch. And it’s been months. Can we please bring Cas out?”
The host laughed. “Yes, of course. The winner of the Bachelor- Castiel.”
Dean could see how tense Cas was as he walked out. He was standing tall, too tall, like he was thinking about it. Cas didn’t want to be here, but he was. He was here for Dean because he knew that proving to America Dean had made the right choice was important to Dean.
Damn it, it was taking everything inside of Dean not to leap off the couch and attack Cas. While most people would think that Dean wanted nothing more than to roll on the ground kissing him, he honestly just wanted to see Cas’s eyes up close. The same eyes that had watched him carefully during every Skype session. He wanted to be able to grab Cas’s hands and feel them in his, and watch Cas’s pupils dilate from the contact. God, he wanted. But he knew how Cas felt about PDA, so Dean held himself tightly on the couch. They would have a lifetime after they finished the show. This cursed show.
But to Dean’s delight Cas didn’t just come sit next to him peacefully. No, he trudged over to Dean, like a man on a mission. Before Dean could figure out what was going on he was being manhandled into a standing position so his boyfriend could ruthlessly kiss him.
He had missed this. Cas tasted like cinnamon and some remnants of a lotion or aftershave he must have used. He tasted like home. He kissed Dean with dirty and hungry lips. His tongue trailing along Dean’s lips and demanding access to Dean’s mouth. Which Dean gave eagerly. Hell if Cas tried to get him to fuck in front of the audience and America he might have. Feeling Cas, here, his hands lightly pulling Dean’s hair, was almost too much. A noise came out, and as they separated Dean realized the noise had come from him. How pathetic.
But Cas was smiling fondly at him, and for some reason it made Dean feel like he was on the verge of tears. Cas was here. He could touch him, he could hold him. It was the start. The start they had been talking about for months. And seeing Cas look at him like that? Screw any sense of dignity.
Dean pulled Cas into a hug, nuzzling the other man’s neck so he could smell him. It might have been creepy, but Dean was well past caring.
“I’ve missed you.” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear as he placed a kiss on his temple.
Dammit, Dean felt choked up again.
In that moment Dean realized the audience was clapping. If there was a way to take him out of Cas’s and his bubble it was that. He separated from Cas, exchanging another shared glance with his partner before grabbing his hand and sitting down so they could get past this shit storm and get on to the good stuff. The rest of their life together.
“So I see we don’t need to ask if you two are still together.” The host raised an eyebrow but Dean was watching Cas. Cas who smiled with pride, easily despite the fact they had an audience.
“I should hope not.” Cas answered cheekily, looking at Dean. This is what being happy felt like.
“How is it watching your final decision? Were you guys nervous?”
Dean laughs. “You have no idea.”
Cas opened his mouth, and from the weird twitch he made on the couch Dean knew whatever Cas was going to say was going to be hard for him. “I was certain I knew what the outcome I wanted was, and what the actual outcome would be. I was very resolved that the two would not be one in the same.”
Dean squeezed Cas’s hand to let him know he understood.
“You didn’t think Dean would chose you?”
Cas looked at Dean. “No. I didn’t give him very much to work with. He’s a good man and I never imagined that he…..Being with him has exceeded my most extravagant fantasies. Who could have ever foreseen a world in which I would deserve someone as amazing as Dean Winchester?”
Dean felt himself turning red. He hated when Cas talked like this, put him on a pedestal because he felt like Cas saw something in him worth saving even after everything. Cas would always see the good parts Dean had trouble believing. The audience awwed, but Dean wanted to argue. He wanted to take Cas’s good words and shove them back in his face. The question should have been how in the world could DEAN deserve Cas?
“I’ve upset Dean because he doesn’t like it when people point out how amazing he is. It makes him uncomfortable. So perhaps we should switch topics.”
Dean laughed, and Cas scooted closer to him on the couch. Dean allowed himself to swing his arm over Cas, and pull him close.
“Okay, Cas while we have you on a talking spree,” The audience chuckled and even Cas gave a smile. “How was it when you realized that he had chosen you?”
Cas’s eyes roamed Dean’s face. “Like watching a meteor fall from the sky.”
Dean rolled his eyes at the cheesy metaphor but he was secretly pleased.
“Are you two engaged?”
“Not yet,” Both answered in unison, and then broke apart from each other to look. And Dean couldn’t get his fill of just looking. Cas’s hair was slightly messed up, his lips a little plumper than usual from their kisses earlier and his cheeks red from being underneath the hot lights and scrutiny of a studio audience.
“But we can expect an engagement soon?”
Dean imagined Cas, walking down the aisle a bouquet of daisies in his hands smiling at Dean. The image was like a food craving, he could actually taste it. It wasn’t a question of if but when.
“I feel confident that we will spend the rest of our lives together.” Cas answered, looking to Dean for reassurance. But Dean was still lost in the image and in the knowledge that all of this was his. So he nodded unable to talk past the lump in his throat. “When you know that, it takes away the need to rush. I’m just excited to be able to become intimate.”
The audience chuckled at Cas’s frankness but Dean just grinned wider.
“The feeling is mutual, I assure you.”
“So in the finale you guys talked about moving in together. Can you tell us if you have any plans to continue doing so?”
Cas nodded, looking to Dean. “We originally started moving my things to Dean’s residence with Sam’s help after I was fired from my job. But, my mother was recently diagnosed so it’s become more complicated.”
“We found a place by my work, or I should say I found a place and skyped Cas who trusted me and saw enough to agree, that we have already purchased. It’s big enough for Daphne and Jimmy to come move in with us so we can help take care of her through her treatment. She actually has been coming out to see specialists before the move, and has been living in the space for the past couple of weeks now. Everything is moved, and all that’s missing is Cas.”
It had been hard, hiding his relationship with Cas’s parents from the press while taking them to doctors’ appointments, but the media hadn’t caught on yet. And it was nice to be able to help lessen Cas’s load. Plus, he had formed a better relationship with both of them. Sure, they were religious zealots but the diagnoses had changed a lot of things. Facing the possibility of death made a person realize what was most important, and they had been a lot more affectionate- not only to Dean but also to Castiel and Gabriel. It wasn’t always easy, there were a lot of awkward silences or missionaries that showed up on Dean’s doorstep, but it was a process he was happy to have been going through.
“Wow. Sounds like you two have it figured out. So Cas’s family has warmed up to you then Dean?”
They were still who they were, but they were trying and that was the important part. Granted their version of trying was a lot more of trying to get him to convert to Christianity than he preferred but they found common ground.
“I hope so.”
“And what about your family? Last we saw Sam wasn’t on board with the Castiel idea.”
It wasn’t hard for Sam to piece together who Dean picked and that the outcome was favorable shortly off the bat. And despite the contracts, it wasn’t as if he could hide it. Cas, even from another state, was a huge part of Dean’s life. They texted constantly even though both were terrible with technology and some of their conversations were just commentary on the emoticons that came with phones. They skyped or called each other every night. Dean’s mood was greatly impacted by Cas’s.
Sam wanted to have weekly Bachelor night watchings at Dean’s house. It didn’t take long for Sam to know who Dean chose while watching his brother watch himself fall in love with the love of his life. Sam had apologized time and time again as they watched the show. Sam even went out of his way to form his own relationship with Cas. The two nerds had formed some email thing to discuss politics and book recommendations with each other. And when the couple needed his help, Sam was there to help move Cas’s thing to Dean’s.
“Sam was in a hard position. He trying to protect his brother. He did the admirable thing and attempted to steer his brother on the path that he felt would ensure his happiness.”
“So you don’t blame him?” The host asked. “Dean may have chosen someone else based on his advice.”
Dean smiled, as if Cas blamed anyone for anything.
“Sam is the reason Dean was on the show to begin with. He is the reason we met in the long run. And it all turned out well. I don’t see the point behind blaming someone for all variants and possibilities that could have occurred.”
“Wow, this is the most I think we’ve heard Castiel talk. Am I right?” The audience cheered and laughed, but Dean was tiring at a quickly. He was ready to leave, to listen to Cas talk to him and just him.
“Let’s see if this chattiness will extend itself to the questions I know the house are waiting to ask. The main one being…”
“The panty debate.” Dean finished for him.
Castiel by his side winced. “Dean you know I despise that word. The first used context of the word was associated with children's' garments, not in a sexual context. Besides I thought we agreed to keep your affinity for women’s garments between us?”
Dean could feel how red his face was. His first thought was that he was grateful that Sam wasn’t there, and then he remembered that it was filmed and all of America was now watching him sink and burn.
Cas’s face got even more confused when the laughter didn’t stop.
“I messed up didn’t I?” He asked Dean, underneath all the laughter.
And he looked so damn sad. His blue eyes boring into Dean’s with regret. Like he expected Dean to break up with him over a small confession. And suddenly Dean didn’t care. He didn’t care that the whole world know knew about his kink. He had Cas actually sitting next to him. The rest was inconsequential. So to let Cas know it was alright he kissed his forehead.
“No,” He clarified once the laughter had gone down. “We weren’t discussing that.” He chuckled a bit. “Cassie claims you told her to put on her big girl panties.”
Dean didn’t turn to look at Cassie, because honestly he didn’t care to see how she crashed and burned. He instead watched Cas try to process everything that had just happened.
“Why would I know or care about the state of her undergarments? And why would I encourage her to put on a larger set of garments when she herself is relatively small? Unless she knew the origins of underwear and was referring to a children's-“ Dean interrupted Cas with a short kiss, unable to hold himself back anymore.
And it was perfect. It muted out the noise, the headache, all of it and brought them right back to each other. When Dean pulled away and looked at Cas, who seemed unable to open his eyes for a moment, his lips waiting for more, begging for more. His eyes flickered open with a secret smile just for Dean.
“Hello Dean.” Cas said. And the smile on his face told Dean that he knew the sneaky trick that Dean had pulled by kissing him had less to do with wanting to shut him up and more to do with wanting Cas’s undivided attention.
“Hiya Cas.” Dean smiled. The audience clapped again, even as Cassie was attempting to speak over them. Finally, Meg said something biting and Cassie shut her mouth.
Lisa took the microphone that was being passed around the contestants and the audience went silent.
“Hello.” She started, and the audience held its collective breath as though not to miss whatever she would say. “I just have one question for Castiel. I just have to hear it out loud.”
Cas nodded, looking at her.
“You love Dean, right?”
Cas smiled, and took the microphone. “Yes. Very much so.”
“More than your cat?” She asked with a wry grin.
Cas chuckled. “More than anything.” His face got serious. “There is no battle I wouldn’t fight for this man. And I regret that it took me a little longer than most to realize that. Without meaning to, I won his heart. But now I would do anything to keep it.”
The show was wrapped shortly after that. And it was a mess of people running in all directions but Cas and Dean stayed seated on the couch just enjoying being next to each other. People had already come to collect their microphones so there was no rush. Both looked at their clasped hands and watched as their thumbs played with each other’s lazily. Somewhere in the background there were people from the audience taking pictures of them, but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to care.
“Ready to see our house?”
Cas trapped Dean’s thumb underneath his and then let it go to stroke a path from his wrist to the pressure point near his thumb.
“Please tell me our room is sound proofed.”
Dean laughed, “I already showed you, your parents’ area is like a basement very separated from ours.”
Without warning Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him forward. Both navigated around backstage, but most people had already left. Despite the fact that they could be home easily, Cas cornered Dean and shoved him against a black backdrop and started kissing the daylights out of him.
The kiss wasn’t sweet or kind. It was frantic and filthy, the stuff of wet dreams. Dean could barely think with Cas’s tongue searching for his own with a need he hadn’t seen in the man before, Cas’s growing erection rutting against his and Cas’s hands were wandering as if trying to map every part of Dean’s body.
It took a little bit to recover but soon Dean was giving as good as he got. Pushing back against Cas, drawing noices out of the man.
But just as Dean’s hand squeezed Cas’s ass, Cas broke away. Dean had to keep himself from pouting at the lack of contact.
“Please take me home.”
Dean smiled and leaned forward to kiss Cas between hoarse words. “Why, you have something in mind?”
“Dean.” Cas gasped when Dean kissed a trail down his neck. “We can actually do the thing we talked about yesterday.”
Dean thought back to their awesome Skype session the night before. He thought about Cas’s hand on himself as he moaned Dean’s name as he rasped out things he would do to Dean. And now he was here, they could actually act out every fantasies they had concocted.
“Why are we in a freaking hallway then? Let’s get to the main event!” Dean surprised both of them by picking up Cas and attempting to run with him for a few seconds with both of them laughing senselessly. He felt like a child, but he was so happy he was well past caring. He had to put Cas down and somehow instead of rushing off to the main event they were hugging, just swaying in the hallway, holding each other tightly.
“I love you Dean.”
Dean planted a small kiss to the collarbone where Cas’s skin first peeked out from his shirt. “And I you, Cas.”
They stayed there, in silence, even as a couple people walked around them, footsteps echoing in the tiny space.
“I know, logically, it makes sense to go home and do this in a place where it’s less unlikely people will observe.” Cas whispered, trailing a hand under Dean’s shirt to feel the skin covered by his shirt.
“But it’s hard to let go. Isn’t it, even for a second?” Dean grumbled, his words barely able to be heard through the fabric of Cas’s shirt.
“Mhmm.”
“I could attempt to motivate us?” Dean picked his head up off of Cas’s shoulder so they could face each other.
Cas just raised an eyebrow.
“Cas, at our house we can actually do this naked.”
Cas smiled. “Go on.”
“We have, you know, the supplies we need to do more if we wished.”
Cas’s eyes were so intense, God, how did anyone look into them before without falling insensible instantly. “You may have to elaborate.”
Dean leaned forward again, this time to whisper things in Cas’s ear. Needless to say, they found their way home pretty quickly after that.
The next morning Dean woke to a heavy weight crushing his chest. He tried to roll Cas off but Cas clung to him like a freaking octopus. Cas’s nose scrunched in disapproval at all the jostling even as he slept on. It was so different from their first night together, a mishmash of awkward shuffling. Back then they had been hyper aware of every body part and all the ways they weren’t touching each other. Now, Cas was buried so deep into Dean’s body Dean was certain this was closer than their frantic coupling the night before. And while he wouldn’t have traded it for the world, he had to pee. And the ability to breathe would be welcomed.
“Cas.” He tried, but Cas snorted in his sleep, a little drool dribbling out of his mouth on to Dean’s chest. Dean laughed, and the noise startled sleeping Cas, but not enough to wake him. “God, I love you so much.” He shook Cas for three long minute before the other man woke up.
“I have to pee.”
“Why did you wake me?”
Dean looked down to the way their bodies were intertwined with a raised eyebrow but Cas was already falling back asleep.
“Hey, human octopus, I need to piss.”
“Hmm?”
Dean leaned down and kissed Cas soft and sweet, but Cas didn’t respond, even when he bit on Cas’s lip in the way he had learned drove the other man crazy. Eventually Dean gave up and had to army crawl his way out from under body parts that kept flying out at him trying to make him their prisoner.
When Dean came back, Cas was rolled into a ball. Sure, when Dean needed him to be a ball he was a freaking tentacled man but now that Dean was free Cas had learned how to keep his hands to himself.
Dean crawled back into bed and lifted the sheet to just to look at Cas’s lithe body. A ball wasn’t the best way to display him. Cas deserved statues at museums, portraits of his entire body on display. It was a body crafted from on high, even when rolled up like a child. There were hickeys and bruises from the night before but Dean thought it suited Cas. Even the random hickey in the middle of his spine. Dean didn’t remember placing it there, or when he had such clear access to Cas’s back when Cas had been the one fucking him. But hey, apparently he was an every part of Cas kind of lover.
As soon as Dean laid back down, he felt empty without the limbs tangled up in his. Cas felt too far away. God, Sam would mock Dean for this, but he loved Cas’s strangulating way of snuggling even though he’d only known it for one night. So he pulled Cas close to him, trying to rearrange them how they were. And of course Cas woke up while being manhandled.
So when Dean ran a hand along Cas’s side to feel the muscles constrict under his hand he wasn’t being creepy, Cas was awake and able to consent.(He would have done it anyways, but it felt more justified to tell himself that.)
“Dean, I love you and I’m glad you’re here.” The words were slurred together barely incomprehensible. “But if you attempt to wake me up again I will kill you.” Nope, those words were easy to make out.
Dean laughed, spreading kisses along Cas’s hairline despite the grimace the other man’s face was making.
“Fair enough.”
Cas groaned, and swat Dean with what little strength he had, his eyes squinting, attempting to avoid any light in the room. Dean let his hands wander down Cas’s back. “Not even for sex?” He whispered, pinching Cas’s bare ass.
“Is it before eight am?”
The silence was answer enough. No alarm clock had ever been more of an arrogant cock block than this on with the numbers 6:09 blinking up at him.
“Then no.” Cas pulled Dean close to him, and nuzzled his face in Dean’s neck. When Dean didn’t move, Cas sighed, content.
“Dude, what am I supposed to do while you’re here clinging to me like I’m a pool noodle?”
“Sleep.” Cas groaned.
“I’m not tired anymore.” Dean whined. And how could he be? Today was the beginning of the rest of their lives.
Cas’s frustrated sigh was hot against Dean’s neck.
“I now know I will have to wear you out more thoroughly before we go to bed.”
Dean laughed. “Is that so? Care to give me an example right now?”
Cas lifted his head, his hair tuffed and pointed in all directions. His eyes were still squinty, as if glued shut.
“Our children are going to be like this aren’t they?”
Dean laughed as Cas laid his hands on Dean’s chest and rested his head on top of them. Dean looked down at him, running his hands through Cas’s hair for a little while as Cas drifted in and out of awareness, clearly exhausted.
It had been a long day yesterday. The show took a lot out of both of them. And the night, the night was long as well. Beautifully long as Cas took him apart piece by piece slowly fucking him as they both clung to each other in the throes of passion. The longest they slept for was an hour long nap only to go again needy and frantic. But despite that all, Dean was bursting with energy. The power of love or something equally as corny. And it didn’t help when Cas was naked on top of him, looking adorably ruffled and talking about their future. He didn’t want to, but he let Cas rest. And despite the fact that his body ached to have Cas. Dean kept running his hands through Cas’s hair until the sun shone in every crevice of the room saying hello. Still, Cas slept on. Dean eventually worked around Cas’s grabby hands and found his way to the kitchen after putting on his boxers.
But before he could even put any pancake batter on the stove. Cas’s hands pulled him around like a freaking tornado.
“You need a godamn bell.” He said against Cas’s lips as Cas kissed him the way he craved that morning.
“Come back to bed.” Cas’s voice was low. It was raspy and it was the same voice that reminded Dean of an earlier skype session between the two.
“Dean. I need to see you cum. Do it. On the screen, for me, Dean. Now.”
Even though little Dean was making a big appearance Dean couldn’t help teasing his boyfriend a bit. “Nu uh. You had your chance mister. You turned me down. Now, you get to eat your pancakes with the taste of your regret.”
Cas frowned.
“No. No playing that card. No puppy dog eyes.”
Cas blinked, and then started kissing Dean’s neck despite his protests. “Maybe you just didn’t work hard enough.”
Oh Dean was hard enough. “No, I begged for it. It’s your turn to beg.”
And Cas rocked against him in a delightful way, an impressive tent in his boxers. “I can do that.”
But before they got to anything good a big wave of noise crested outside. Dean was about to run out the door in nothing but his underwear but Cas pulled him back just in time. Both sneakily looked through the blinds to see as the other house entrance was being swarmed with paparazzi.
Dean groaned, putting his face on Cas’s shoulder as Cas watched in confusion.
“Dean, why are they here?”
“Your parents probably just arrived home, and since we haven’t come out they decided to swarm them instead.”
And as he predicted a car could be seen somewhere behind all the people surrounding it.
“Jesus Christ.”
Cas glared at him.
“I know, I know. I’ve learned not to say it in front of your mother. But…they can’t make it through that swarm of people.”
Cas broke away from Dean, but Dean pulled him back.
“Cas, you can’t go out there.”
“Well not like this, no.”
Dean cursed. He regreted not listening to Charlie when she warned him this could happen. But he was so eager to have Cas in their official house he had taken the risk. Besides, how could the press even find the house? The documents were hidden and they lived in a different city then either had before. Hell they hadn’t even met the neighbors yet.
“No, I mean if you go out there it will only get worse. They don’t know for sure we are even in the house. It will die down in a week or so, but to go out now? They will stay camped out on our lawn for every entrance and exit.”
“So what are we supposed to do. Dean you have work, and my parents need to get places. We can’t just lock ourselves up for a week.”
“I uh… don’t have work this week.”
Cas frowned. “But you own the restaurant, and you made a favorable impression surely your investors wouldn’t-“
“No, I wasn’t fired. God no. No, I just uh…took some time off for you…”
Cas’s lips turned up. “Me?”
Dean rolled his eyes. “I wanted to spend time with you, you dork. Can we get back to the issue at hand?”
“How are we to save my parents while also holding ourselves up in our house?”
But Dean was already calling up the clear answer. “Hey Sammy, I uh…need your help.”
He put it on speakerphone so Cas could hear as well.
“Wow, surprised to hear from you. I thought you said you’d be too busy turning your house into a love shack for me to call unless I wanted to listen to something traumatizing for the both of us.”
Cas raised an eyebrow, and Dean’s voice got gruff in his half assed attempt to change the subject.
“Yeah, yeah. That was the plan. Turns out we’ve hit some bumps. Cas, say hi to the nerd. You’re practically baring laser beams into the phone.”
Cas looked up at Dean, his eyes wide. He gently took the phone and looked at it for a second before talking into it.
“Hello Sam, it’s nice to hear from you.”
“Hey Cas. I heard you are now officially stuck with my brother. My apologies.”
“Okay you ladies can continue your plans for knitting club later. Sam, we need you to come help Cas’s parents.”
“Is everything okay?”
“They appear to surrounded in their vehicle by paparazzi. And Dean believes we need to keep a low profile.”
“Probably a smart idea. So what do you want me to come play bodyguard?”
“Well you are taller than any bodyguard I’ve ever seen. Who better to shield the unsuspecting couple? Also throw out some story that we’re out of town or took some vacation somewhere and you were just hired to water the plants would ya?”
They could hear Sam’s long sigh. “I can try. But I’m not watering any plants or trimming any trees while I’m at it.”
“Yeah, yeah just get your ass over here instead of talking about it all day. Besides, I know you are just as eager to see Cas as he is to see you.”
Cas turned to Dean.
“Yeah, yeah. I know you two want to geekfest together. Our sexy times were interrupted anyways. Might as well have the bitch over for breakfast.”
“ You know Cas was telling me about, ” And before he could continue Dean hung up on Sam. He considered it motivation for him to hurry his ass up. And also he wasn’t completely sold on having to share Cas quite yet.
“That was rude.” Cas chastised, but he didn’t particularly seem upset. Especially not when Dean pulled the hem of his underwear forward and trapped the other man in his arms.
“Mhmm.”
As they kissed they could hear the questions being shouted at the car outside. Both broke away and leaned against each other as they listened to the racket.
“Well this is certainly different than long trips in exotic lands.”
Dean smiled, squeezing Cas’s shoulder to him. “Welcome to real life.”
“Is it strange that I prefer this?”
And as Dean looked at Cas, covered in hickeys standing in his boxers listening to paparazzi attack their family he found it wasn’t strange. It wasn’t strange at all.