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Her evening at the Ozdust Ballroom is interrupted by Madame Morrible. It is a relief as she is called away by her professor, because his hands no longer linger on her body. It causes an annoying itch beneath her skin that she wants to scratch at. (You can go back to doing whatever this is, Madame Morrible had said. Fiyero’s snicker still lingers in her mind. I don’t want to, her heart whimpers. She pushes it back down. The itch must be desire and excitement. There is no other explanation.) To take her mind off of silly thoughts, she begins talking to Morrible, “Madame Morrible, you are…seriously, I admire you so…”
Galinda is cut off rudely by her professor, “Enough.” Without another word Morrible unceremoniously hands her a translucent object, which looks like a…
“A magic wand?” Galinda asks hopefully, as her eyes widen with excitement.
“It’s a training wand.” Madame Morrible says disinterestedly. Galinda doesn’t care, her excitement is unhampered.
“A training wand? For me?” Galinda wants to jump up and down with joy but she contains herself as she has been trained to do her whole life, it wouldn’t be a seemly way for her to act. Instead she moves to thank her professor, “Madame Morrible, how can I express my gratitution? It is my heart’s desire to become a sorceress. Thank you for having faith in me.”
“Actually, I have no faith in you,” Morrible deadpans, Galinda feels a stab at that. It hampers her joy somewhat, but not as much as the next words she hears, “This is your roommate’s idea, not mine.”
“I’m confused,” Galinda says, her fingers clenching around the training wand. Elphaba?
“Miss Elphaba has requested that I include you in our sorcery seminar and insisted that I tell you this very night or she would quit.” The explanation Morrible gives does not alleviate any of the confusion that Galinda feels.
Words keep coming out of her mouth, asking the same question over and over, “Elphaba did?” Morrible nods her assent and Galinda can see she is growing tired of this conversation, but she has to ask, “But why?” (Why why why? Why would Elphaba do this? The guilt is sudden and overwhelming as it hits her. She had felt some remorse back in their dorm room when she gave her the hat, but now? Galinda wants to sink through the floor and disappear.)
“I’m a sorceress, not a mind reader. I have no idea why, but I can’t risk losing her so here I am,” Morrible continues, Galinda feels tongue-tied as all she can do is stare at her with stupification, “My personal opinion, dear is that you do not have what it takes. I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will.” (Her guilt is joined by shame. She sounds like her momsie and popsicle. They never believe her when she tells them she wants to become a sorceress either. No one believes she can do it. Looking down at the training wand in her hand. No one but Elphaba, her heart admonishes her. Guilt sits heavy in her gut.)
Madame Morrible, unable to tell (or uncaring) that she is going through a crisis, continues, “You may want to thank her. She just got here.”
“What?” Galinda feels her mouth open and close in shock. She swallows heavily, as she feels bile try to force its way out. (No, no, no, how has it all gone so wrong?) She feels the panic as it spreads throughout her body. There is nothing she can do now. Her cruel prank has been played. (She thought they were competing, together in their loathing. But now it seems Elphaba has gone and switched up the game. Or her heart was never in it, her mind supplied unhelpfully.)
Her breathing quickens and the bright lights hurt her eyes. The cacophony in the ballroom is making her head spin until she suddenly hears the chatter quiet down and then the music stops. She hears as murmurs of voices and scattered laughs follow. The training wand in her hands feels like a burning recrimination. Galinda rushes away from Madame Morrible. (Perhaps to stop Elphaba from entering the room at all, maybe she can still stop this. And if not, if she is too late then maybe she can go to Fiyero. Perhaps the disgust she feels with herself over what she has done to Elphaba will be overshadowed by how his hands on her body make her feel.)
I’m inviting you.
Why?
Well, because everyone will be there.
(And they will all laugh at you and it will be my fault.)
Their conversation from earlier that evening haunts her as she pushes through the crowd. She hears scattered comments. The ones she expected would be made, the ones she was counting on. Hurtful, cutting words. What is she wearing? What a ridiculous hat. Her hat is disgustifying. (You deserve each other, this hat and you. So here out of the goodness of my heart. Her words were false: her heart is not good. It feels rotten and black with deceit as it sits like a lump in her chest. Her gut churns as she swallows down her guilt again. It feels like hot molten lava burning her insides.)
Galinda catches sight of Elphaba as she enters the dancefloor. She is wearing the hat that Galinda gifted her. (It looks good on her, her heart whispers. Her deceitful and hateful heart, or was it her jealous mind that spun the cruel prank? I’d give it away, but I don’t hate anyone that much.)
I’m sorry, she wants to say as she catches Elphaba’s eyes. (It wouldn’t matter now. And besides, why would Elphaba want to hear it?) She can see the realization happen in her eyes, the hurt hidden in dark green depths. Galinda feels her lip start to tremble and her eyes water. She bites down on the inside of her cheek harshly until she tastes blood to stop her tears. It is not her place to cry. This is her fault. The laughter around them continues, but quiets somewhat in confusion as Elphaba strides forward and places her hat down in front of Galinda. It feels like an accusatory mark, like she is saying: you did this.
Galinda awaits her next move with bated breath. She deserves anything she will throw at her. She sees Elphaba stop in the middle of the room and begin moving her arms in a dance. She can hear the whispers around her. (What is she doing? Oh, look at her go. What does she think she’s doing? Is she dancing?) All of them are filled with mockery and scorn. All she can think as she sees Elphaba move is how beautiful she looks and how they are wrong for the mockery they are making of her. A mockery that Galinda intended to make. She was the one who stoked the flames of their scorn. Her hand clenches impossibly tighter around the training wand in her hands as if she could break it down into nothing. A kind gesture in return for her cruel machinations. She does not deserve Elphaba’s goodness.
Shaking her head slightly, Galinda focuses on Elphaba again. She almost looks like she is performing a spell. (Galinda wishes she would. A spell to humiliate her in return, to show her superiority at magic. Perhaps that way Galinda might find some absolution, so she can let go of this guilt. If they both hurt each other, then it cancels out. But she knows Elphaba won’t. Instead she will dance and look at her accusingly. Or with hurt. And her guilt remains, it burns just like her green eyes do.) So distracted was she by the burning gaze on her that she barely notices Fiyero appearing next to her. When she hears him speak, she is pulled back at once to the reality that exists outside of herself and Elphaba. (She wants to be away from him, why must he be here?)
“I’ll say this much, she doesn’t give a twig what anyone thinks,” Fiyero replies with his easy smile. (You’re wrong, all of you are so wrong. Why can no one see what she can see?)
“Of course she does,” Galinda lets it slip out of her mouth without thinking, “She just pretends not to.” (Unlike her. Galinda cares so much about what others think that she is constantly pretending to stay in their good graces. Always wanting to be perceived as better than she is. She is the opposite of Elphaba and yet so similar. Both of them are pretending towards different ends. Two sides of the same coin.)
As Elphaba picks up the hat to put it on again, Galinda lets out a wounded sigh, “I can’t watch. I feel awful.” (She wants to turn away, but she can’t let herself. Dark green eyes look at her from across the room. Elphaba does not look at anyone else. It stokes the fire that is raging inside of her.)
“Why? It’s not like it’s your fault,” Fiyero asks her, innocent in his cluelessness about the situation. (It is my fault. It is, it is, it is. She looks up at him in disbelief. How can he not see the shame and guilt that brands her?)
“Excuse me,” Galinda offers in reply as she pushes the training wand into his arms. She steps away from him. (Elphaba’s dancing has shown her a vulnerability that Galinda has never been able to attain. But perhaps she can try. If they will laugh at Elphaba then may they laugh at her as well. Let the scorn hit her, let it stain her pristine reputation, let them all see her. Most of all, she does what she does for Elphaba as a show of contrition.)
As she steps forward away from the crowd, she hears the chatter around her quiet down. Galinda feels the eyes of her peers on her. All the watchful gazes with their heavy expectations. They expect her to mock Elphaba. As she looks into Elphaba’s eyes, she can see the same expectation there. She refuses. She will prove them all wrong.
Galinda imitates one of the moves she saw Elphaba perform. Putting one of her hands to her forehead and the other to her hip and moving her fingers as if she is waving. She tries to remember all the moves, she wants to do this right. But so lost in thought was she that she has completely forgotten the moves. (She does not wish for this to be a mockery, a poor imitation.) She looks at Elphaba and begs her to dance with her, even if she doesn’t deserve her consideration. She needs it. (When she received the training wand because of Elphaba, she felt like she was floating. She wants to have that feeling back again. She doesn’t want this humiliation that she orchestrated herself. Not anymore, if she ever truly did want it. You did, her mind adds jealously. You did not, her heart adds argumentatively. It no longer matters, Galinda decides. What is done is done. All she can do now is try to set things right.)
She does a twirl which makes her stumble. It puts her face to face with the people she calls her friends, Pfannee and Shenshen. “ What are you doing? Stop,” they admonish her in quiet hisses. If she embarrasses herself then she embarrasses them by association. But she doesn’t care. This is not about them. This is about her and Elphaba.
“No,” Galinda refuses. (It is final. She does not need their approval, only Elphaba’s.) She turns away from them and she hears them scatter further away from her, as if her touch might be contagious. But she has already turned back to Elphaba. Her friends long forgotten.
They stare at each other across the space on the dancefloor. One breath passes, then two. Until eventually Elphaba extends an olive branch and Galinda is so grateful, she could fall at her feet in gratitution. She puts out her hands and Galinda follows her, a perfect mirror. The places where their skin touches sends a feeling of sparks running up Galinda’s spine. As they keep dancing, all she can think about is how beautiful Elphaba looks. She mirrors Elphaba’s move with her legs and then turns away from her in their next move before slowly turning back to her. As she does Galinda is once again taken aback by the visage of the other girl. The teal lighting reflects off of Elphaba’s skin in a way that can only be described as magical. The lighting also reflects off of the tears in her eyes. Tears full of pain. Galinda wants to go back in time and take it all back, and if she is unable to do that then she wants to carry that pain herself as an apology.
She hears Elphaba’s shaky exhale like she is trying to stop a sob from escaping her throat. Galinda delicately caresses her cheek to wipe away a tear that has fallen. Quietly she whispers so only Elphaba will hear, “It’s all right.” (It is okay for you to cry, I am here. I don’t know if you want me here, but I am here if you need someone to lean on. Don’t look at anybody else, focus on me.) Elphaba leans into the touch and Galinda feels a flutter in her stomach. The rest of the room fades away around them.
(If you asked Galinda afterwards what everyone was saying or doing she would not be able to answer you. In that moment she only had eyes for Elphaba.)
They dance and twirl and whirl. Galinda offers her a smile and Elphaba smiles back. At first the smile is half-hearted, her cheeks still wet with tears, but Galinda can see as they keep dancing that her smile becomes genuine. Seeing the beauty of that smile, Galinda is unable to stop herself as she throws her arms around Elphaba. She pulls her into a tight hug. She wants to hold her close until Elphaba knows she is no longer alone. Until she can make Elphaba understand how sorry she is. Galinda feels hot tears fall onto her shoulder and she holds her tighter still. She whispers into her ear, “I’m sorry.” Over and over again, she says the words. As her momsie always used to say, the value of words can never be overstated. Her gestures might be apologetic, but she needs Elphaba to know how sorry she is through her words as well.
Eventually she forces herself to pull away from Elphaba in their hug, but she keeps her arms wrapped securely around her shoulders. The room around them still feels like a hazy distant memory in her mind and the people around them have faded away. She only has eyes for Elphaba. At once she is overwhelmed by her beauty, her vulnerability, her earnestness. As Galinda gazes into dark watery green eyes that look at her with forgiveness all she feels is gratitude. Elphaba and her big heart and her gorgeous smile. (Only one of them is truly good here.) Galinda feels like she is outside of her body as she leans in and captures her lips in a kiss.
It is entirely unexpected and so far removed from what anyone would approve of for her. She can hear the disapproving voice of her momsie in her head after she caught her kissing a girl for the first time as a young teen. (She never did it again.) She was supposed to marry a fine man and have children and be a part of the upper echelon of society. She is an Upland after all. Fiyero is who everyone would approve of. Definitely not the girl with green skin that everyone scorns. And decidedly not kissing her in the middle of a public dancefloor. (Perhaps Galinda did it because she wanted to show even a fraction of the vulnerability Elphaba did during her dance. Perhaps she did it to banish the taste of Fiyero from her lips, to spit on everyone’s expectations of her. Perhaps it simply happened in the heat of the moment, because she felt so connected to Elphaba in this moment. Perhaps she did it because Elphaba’s beauty was overwhelming and she couldn’t stop herself. Whatever reason her mind might give, the reason her heart will give is simply that she wanted to. She took a leap of faith and she jumped right in with her heart thundering and wild.)
At first Elphaba does not react besides a shocked gasp. Galinda lets her lips linger for just a second to memorize the warmth of her lips, before she realizes what she has done and pulls away. She has humiliated her with a prank and now kissed her without Elphaba’s consent. (What has she done?) Galinda looks at Elphaba with fearful apologetic eyes. All she gets in return is searching green eyes as if she is trying to determine that this is not just another prank, another way to humiliate her. Galinda tries to convey her sincerity through her eyes. Her gut churns anxiously.
Galinda is becoming aware of the people around them again. The quiet feels oppressive. Before she can grow self-conscious and flee the room, Elphaba leans in and kisses her back. Galinda closes her eyes as she feels the warm hand placed on her cheek. Her heart feels as light as a hot air balloon and everywhere Elphaba touches her feels like there is magic running through her. Their lips move together softly as Galinda puts her arms around Elphaba’s shoulders again. Uncaring of everyone around them she deepens the kiss. She feels Elphaba tremble beneath her arms and to reassure her Galinda softly massages the back of her neck. She has reversed their roles, now she leads them in this dance. (This kiss is terrifying and new for both of them. This might be Elphaba’s first kiss, but it might as well be for Galinda’s as well. The first kiss that feels true to herself.)
As she grows breathless and lightheaded, Galinda pulls away. Her ears become attuned to the whooping and hollering around them. She can see Elphaba’s cheeks grow darker with a blush. Galinda can feel her own face heat up at the attention as well. Without thinking too long, she grabs Elphaba’s hand and starts pulling her along out of the Ozdust. Elphaba squeezes her hand reassuringly. They leave their peers behind as they rush back to their dorm room at Shiz. As Galinda looks back at Elphaba, all she can feel is joy. (She does not know if she deserves it, this joy, but she will try to earn it. To make it up to Elphaba. To become the person she presents herself to be. To become good, like Elphaba.)