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Nico was sitting in a classroom in the Big House. He was bored out of his mind. They were all locked here for hours already and this was getting nowhere.
He had told Chiron weeks ago that he did not need to get formal education, that he already knew all he needed to know to survive. True, there were some areas like English language, Literature or recent history that he was not so good at (behind the rest of the class actually), but for the rest, he was reasonably updated.
And who even needed to know extravagant finesses of English language when their live revolved around fighting monsters and trying to survive? To Nico, it was all just utter nonsense. It was not like he wanted to go to college or anything like Percy and Annabeth. He was just fine as he was.
Today was especially boring for him. First, they had History with the current subject being Mussolini’s regime in Italy (Nico had lived during that era for crying out loud, he knew more than Chiron himself). Next, they had Geography where they were studying a map of China (Nico had shadow-travelled there on several occasions, even if the trips were mainly accidental, he still took time to sightsee and learn about the country). As third came Sciences, they were learning about Solar system (a topic that Nico found especially ingesting and had studied himself years ago, he did not learn a single new information today).
And now, it was apparently time for some Biology. Today’s focus was on anatomy of human brain. Again, B-O-R-I-N-G.
As the son of Hades, Nico had seen countless zombie and was very familiar with their body structure. He used to train with them back in the Underworld. They were not ideal opponents, slow and weak, but they could still be of use to a first-timer when learning to wield a sword. He even had a zombie chauffeur that his father had given him.
Nico sighed, he wanted to be anywhere else than here. At least if the lecture was engaging or even remotely interesting. But no. He put his head on his hands and continued staring in the distance.
He was not the only bored one. It seemed like the Apollo kids were pretty interested, taking notes and everything. Of course they would, they were all interested in medicine because of their father. The others though, not so much.
Clovis was as always snoring away undisturbed. Sherman and Clarisse were secretly (not so secretly in Nico’s opinion but Chiron did not call them on it) playing a game of thumb wresting. Lou Ellen and Miranda were doodling in their notebooks and passing notes. Malcolm and Pollux were playing some cards game under their table. Jason was the only one who was at least trying to look interested by the lecture.
“…and as you can see here on the picture,” Chiron continued without being impressed by anything happening in the classroom, “the frontal part is called Frontal lobe and its main function…”
Nico tuned the centaur out again. He sighed for what must have been a hundredth time today. He was so looking forward to afternoon activities outside, especially sword-fighting. And then, he could go to the infirmary. Will was on duty today, not that Nico was going for this reason, he just felt like helping out. Now, just to survive until the end of the lecture.
Suddenly, Nico had a brilliant idea. Why were they looking at a picture, not a good one either, when he could literally summon zombies? That would make the lesson at more interesting for sure.
He raised his hand. Chiron stopped in the middle of a sentence and looked at him hopefully: “Do you have any questions, Nico?”
“Yes,” Nico stood up and replied, hiding a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Why are we looking at pictures? Would it not be more beneficial to study the real thing? Back in my day, we were using more life-like study materials.”
Chiron sighed, his hopeful expression disappearing: “Unfortunately, that is no longer done in the 21st century. There is no way we could study a real human brain.”
By now, everyone in the classroom was paying attention to the conversation. Nico saw Will looking at him intently. Then, the son of Apollo seemed to have understood where Nico was going and started shaking his head. Nico grinned at him, undeterred. He was convinced that he needed to do this more than ever.
“I could get us one,” he stated nonchalantly.
There were gasps in the classroom. Even Chiron seemed perturbed which was something that Nico had not seen often: “Nico, if you are thinking–”
Grinning, Nico did not let him finish the sentence. Even if that could have been hilarious in its own way. “I am a son of Hades, I can summon zombies. Jules-Albert would not mind borrowing us his brain for study purposes.”
In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie
At this, the other demigods cheered. Even the Apollo kids were now intrigued and interested. Nico winked at Will. His friend was scowling sternly, but Nico knew he was hiding a smile. He had been in the infirmary with him many times, he knew that look. The same one Will would give a careless camper when they came with the same injury for the third time in a single week.
Chiron was silent for a while, contemplating the idea. “Would your chauffeur really not mind? I cannot imagine it would be a pleasant experience.” He asked in the end.
The class cheered again. The other demigods must have been convinced that Chiron was already giving his approval. Since he had not refused the idea outright, he probably was.
“We can just ask him,” Nico said.
He did not wait for anything and put his hand to the ground where he was standing, right in the middle of the classroom. The ground opened and a zombie crawled out of the crevice. He stood up and Nico closed the ground again, leaving it without any traces.
Nico looked at the zombie and asked as solemnly as he could: “Jules-Albert, we are studying human physiology today, particularly brain and its functions. Would you mind helping us with some demonstration?”
“Grrr,” Jules-Albert replied into the silence of the classroom.
Nico was keeping back laughter when Chiron looked at him, clearly waiting for a translation. “He would be honoured,” Nico did not let him wait for long.
Chiron looked back at the zombie again, contemplative. As if Jules-Albert could feel his gaze, he nodded. His head wobbled from side to side, but the nod was clearly distinguishable.
“Will it not hurt him?” was Chiron’s next question. He was clearly worried for the zombie chauffeur. Nico took note of that, not many people (or other creatures) were considerate towards the dead.
“Not really,” Nico supplied without waiting for Jules-Albert’s input, “he is already dead. He can manage a few hours without his brain. As long as we give it back after the lecture.”
“Very well,” Chiron said in the end. “Thank you in advance for your help.”
“Grrr,” Jules-Albert grunted.
Chiron looked at Nico again. “He is asking if he can step out for a minute. His cranial bone is in the way so he has to remove it. He says it can look a little gruesome.”
Chiron nodded, clearly at a loss for words. Nico was doing his best to stay stone-faced. This was turning into a very interesting lecture indeed.
After a moment, Chiron seemed to have found his bearings: “Of course. That is… sensible of you. You can leave the classroom, Mr. Jules-Albert.”
The zombie gave the centaur a wobbly nod and shuffled towards the door.
This time, Nico could not hold himself back anymore. He was grinning from ear to ear. At least he was sensible enough to turn his back so Chiron could not see. He was pretending that he was waiting for the door to open again.
He caught Will’s exasperated look and had to smile even harder. He would probably be scolded after the lecture was over. Will always said to be careful not to use his Underworldly powers unless it was an emergency. For Nico, this had been an emergency, he could have died of boredom.
He did not mind a scolding if it was Will Solace delivering it. It only meant more time he could spend around him. Perhaps he would even order him to stay in the infirmary again and keep an eye on him? That would be great.
School today was no longer boring, but Nico was still more looking forward to the rest of the day.
What's in your head, in your head?
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh