Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There was a crater in her backyard. 

In truth, she’d seen weirder in the last few days–explosions in Tokyo, a government agency toppled, the moon being cut in half–but as she stood on the edge of her tiny rented cabin in Emerald Coast, Washington with a steaming cup of coffee, all she could think was…my landlord is gonna kill me. 

She wondered if acts of god were covered by renter’s insurance. Probably not, she concluded as she took another sip from her mug. Was it an act of god though? She tilted her head as she stared out at the smoke and ash, the scene straight out of one of those action movies her brother used to show her all the time. 

With a sigh, she gently set down her mug and stepped out into the snow covered landscape, the chill of the wind nipping at her bare skin. 

Probably wasn’t the best idea to approach the flaming hole in nothing but sweats and an old concert t-shirt, but she was pretty sure the kind of people who did deal with these things were now six feet under the Thames river with the rest of their headquarters. And she definitely wasn’t going to get the police or military involved. They’d just make things worse. 

Instead she crept closer and closer until her slippers touched the edge of the blackened grass, and when she finally caught sight of what plummeted to earth, she gasped. 

It was an animal. Or at least, that’s what she assumed it was. 

It was curled into a small ball like a child in the fetal position, black fur dusted in ash and soot. A small bit of red poked out from the top of his head, decorating the edges of what she could only describe as quills. Mud caked the figure from top to bottom, and she noticed it was wearing a pair of sneakers with smoking metal rings lining the soles. The rubber was burnt, but still managed to stay intact. 

She slowly walked down the slope of the crater, careful not to wake the creature as she tried to move closer to inspect it for injuries. She was sure there were some, as falling from the sky and burning up in the atmosphere weren’t exactly easy feats to survive unscathed. 

Her hand hovered shakily over the creature’s face, fingers inches from its cheek.

A bright red eye stared out at her. 

She stumbled back, the harsh rock digging into her elbows. She blinked and the creature was gone. 

In its place was a single golden bracelet, big enough to fit her wrist. 

Her eyes scanned the horizon, darting from tree to tree, looking for any sign of the black and red animal. When she found none, she forced herself to breathe and crawled forward. The metal bracelet gleamed in the starlight and against her better judgement, she slid it over her wrist. 

It felt heavy, like picking up a five pound weight from the gym and strapping it to her hand. She swore she could hear a soft hum emitting from the bracelet. Almost as if it were buzzing with energy. 

Sending one final look over her shoulder, she disappeared inside the house.

As she turned in for the night, she gently placed the bracelet on her nightstand. 

The next day, it was gone. 

A few minutes after his return to Earth, Shadow made his first visit to the woman who’d found him. He’d found refuge in a small cave just beyond the wooded cabin he’d landed beside, with no memory of anything the last few days except his name and…

His chest tightened as her face flashed across his mind. 

The stars glittered above him. Shadow squeezed his eyes shut. 

It was an emptiness he knew well, one he’d learned to live with over the last fifty years. He wondered if it would ever go away. 

When he opened them, red clouded his vision. His eyes drifted to the lone limiter ring keeping his power in check. He stared out at the lone house, a soft string of lights illuminating the cabin in the darkness. 

The woman had taken his limiter ring, although he doubted she knew the power she now held in her hands. When freshly taken off, they carried excess Chaos Energy. Or at least, that was what the professor told him. Shadow always had the suspicion the professor knew more than he was letting on. 

He moved closer, careful to remain in the shadows. 

Shadow watched as the last of the lights shut off and teleported inside.

He froze as a soft female voice floated through the air. “I don’t know what it was, but clearly it was in need of help.”

His quills rose as he teleported into an empty space, the door protecting him covered in small slats that allowed him to look at the woman entering the room. He arched his back and tensed his shoulders, preparing for the worst. 

Instead, she passed by him completely and moved toward a small cupboard right next to him. The glint of the limiter ring caught his eye. 

It was around her wrist. 

“Look, just drop it. It’s already gone anyways,” The woman grabbed a rectangular device next to her ear and placed a hand on her hip. She took a step back and Shadow finally got a better look at her. Her stony expression looks all too familiar, although he cannot place where he’d seen it before. She runs a hand through wild brown curls and tosses something in her mouth, following it with a glass of water. “Now, are you going to tell me the real reason you called?”

Clearly the device must be some kind of communicator, as Shadow’s ears manage to pick up the smallest bit of noise coming from the other side. 

“Really?” The woman’s voice shifts and she pauses, looking directly at the door. Shadow wonders if she knows he’s there. “Grandma wants me to fly out for Christmas?”

Another pause. 

“No, it’s just…the last time we talked she said she wanted nothing to do with me, so I find it hard to believe–”

“Yeah, I know Grandpa just died, I wasn’t allowed to attend his fucking funeral!.”

“Oh, don’t– don’t make this about me–”

“I’m not pulling anything, I don’t have the money to fly out right now–”

“It kind of is, Tom!” 

The name rattles Shadow’s skull. 

What was his name…Tom?

It strikes a chord deep within the recesses of his brain, like his mind wishes to bring forth a memory but cannot find it. It is lost with the rest of him. How did he know that name? Why did it make his chest twist and ache like the night he’d lost…Shadow gulped. 

“I mean, isn’t that the whole reason I’m not allowed down there anymore?!” The woman sighs as she grabs a fistful of brown curls with a frustrated groan, “GOD! Just, leave me alone!”

Shadow flinches. 

Why won’t you leave me alone? 

The words taste like ash in his mouth as he watches the woman slam the device to the counter. Her sniffles pierce the air and anger stirred behind Shadow’s chest as she wipes a tear from her eye. It mixed with something else entirely, something he wasn’t able to name. 

Her eyes drift upward. 

He wonders if she’s looking at the stars. 

A moment passes and she disappears again. This time for good. 

Unfortunately, she was still wearing the limiter ring. 

Shadow forces himself out of his hiding space with little noise, but he can see the red energy dancing off his quills, slowly illuminating the darkness with each passing minute. 

He wasn’t sure how close GUN was to finding him. If he let out a burst of Chaos Energy, he knew they’d be on top of him in minutes. The sooner he obtained the ring, the better. 

Shadow made his way out of the kitchen, past the small dining room table and chairs with a curious eye. The living space was a mess of lamps and candles and bright colors, with blankets decorating nearly every surface he laid his eyes on. 

A record player sat unmoving alongside a stack of journals and notebooks with pens or various bookmarks stuck inside them. A shiver struck his back as he was struck with a similar image from the lab, the Professor having had a similar stack of journals and notebooks in his living space as well. The whole room seemed to be awash in bright colors. A mustard yellow couch set against a window across from a television, with greenish-blue cushions and a fuzzy blanket on the back of the piece of furniture. It was checkered red and black and sat alongside another blanket the color of wine.

This human must get cold quickly, he surmised. 

Several tall bookshelves decorated each side of the couch, with the record player on the right side. Shadow peered at the bright purple disc, the word ‘Midnights’ staring up at him. 

A small fireplace was on the wall closest to him, decorated with a wide array of plants that had long since died. 

It was the polar opposite of the sterile, unfeeling environment he’d grown used to in the lab. 

This place…it was…warm. 

Shadow spied a soft blue light from a sliver in a door. As if drawn to it, he slowly pressed the door open, stopping in his tracks when he saw what greeted him. 

The human slept beneath a sky of artificial stars. 

Look at all those stars. A voice echoed in the back of his head. They’re like diamonds. 

Something deep in his chest began to stir and a trail of wet fur formed below his eye. His feet remained stuck to the ground, eyes fixated on the man-made creation above him. 

The last time I saw the stars, I was with her.

It was his voice that spoke the words, yet he couldn’t remember when he’d done so. 

The light danced delicately from a small orb on a stand near her bed. And right beside it, the gold of his limiter ring gleamed. 

He snapped free from his trance and slid the ring over his wrist, the crackle of red lightning disappearing almost immediately.

Shadow paused at the sight of the human woman. 

He replays the name she’d said over in his head. 

Tom.  

It shakes something loose inside him. A blur of blue and gold, the flash of neon lights, a boom that ripped through his mind as fresh as the snow falling outside. Shadow arrived on this planet in a crater of dust and ash, with charred soles on his shoes and a deep ache in his chest. 

He surmised his recent landing must have had something to do with the fact that the moon was now shorn in half, and he deduced the boom was related to it. 

As was this…Tom…person. 

If nothing else, it was a lead. 

But he wasn’t sure. 

It could be a trap set for him by Commander Walters. A way to lure him in and capture him. GUN was always one step ahead, it seemed. Only the Professor had a mind that could think faster than the military man. 

Regardless, it wasn’t as if he had any other leads as to where his memories were.

But this person…

She knew something. Whether it was benevolent or not, it was up to Shadow to find out. 

His first day of reconnaissance provided little information and what he did learn appeared to be absolutely useless. 

All the woman did was lounge around on her couch watching movies. Occasionally, she would get up and make herself some food or grab a drink, but without fail she always returned to the bright yellow couch. 

Shadow’s position in the tree was the perfect vantage point, the dark evergreen branches providing him with enough cover to go unseen. A branch extended just far enough for him to crouch comfortably under the canopy, but not so close he would be spotted. 

The movie she’d put on was one of the few Shadow recognized. His chest twisted as the familiar series of events unfolded, the man’s life slowly getting worse and worse until he finally made it to the pivotal scene atop the bridge. 

Maria would always skip that moment. 

It’s so dreary. She’d say. The angel is much more interesting. 

Shadow only ever celebrated one Christmas with Maria, but he could remember the colorful lights and endless carols she would sing. The woman’s living space was decorated similarly. 

It suddenly struck Shadow that he had no idea when he’d crashed. 

Judging by the snow, it must have been in the winter time, but he’d never been allowed outside the lab except on very special circumstances. Only when Maria asked. 

Shadow watched as the woman pulled out boxes and boxes of lights, holly, and various knick knacks, scattering them across the mantle and from the walls of her house. 

Settling down in front of the TV again, the woman was curled up like a ball on the couch, a tray of oranges, popcorn, and cranberries on the table before her as she leaned back to enjoy the rest of the movie. 

When it finally ended, she used a black rectangular box to sort through various movies with a touch of her hand. Another movie popped up just as quickly, but he hadn’t seen her insert the tape or adjust the antenna. He sat, peering curiously at the device before turning towards the black screen. 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away…

Shadow found he couldn’t look away. 

Against his better judgement, Shadow returned to the tree the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that.

He convinced himself it was because he needed more information, but in truth, he was curious about the movie he’d watched. At first, he told himself it would provide necessary insight into the woman he was staking out, but despite his best efforts, he found himself…enjoying it. The laser swords were entirely impractical, but the events unfolding before his eyes made him stay longer than he anticipated. The space station seen on screen was not the lab, but its cold interior and sterile atmosphere reminded him of it nonetheless. It reminded him of something else too. He’d flinched when the planet had been blown up, the scene tickling something in the back of his mind. He sat through the rest of the movie with a furrowed brow and a scrutinizing gaze, wondering if anything else would trigger the same feeling. 

Luke and his friends reminded Shadow of… someone , but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. His brain urged him to keep searching and when they reached the scene with Ben and Darth Vader on the bridge, something flashed through his head. 

“NO!”

MARIA!

TOM!

There it was again. That name. He reached out to grasp the memory but it slipped through his fingers again. Damnit. He was always so close but so far. 

Why did that name sound so familiar?

Why was it the one thing persistent in his mind, yet the one memory he was unable to find?

He let out a frustrated growl and sped off into the night. 

Shadow only allowed himself to stop when he reached the tiny cave he’d found refuge in. Despite the anger coursing through his veins, he knew he needed to be careful. 

GUN was still out there, and while it was becoming increasingly clear the woman knew nothing about the military agency, she did know about Tom. 

So he returned once again, watching the woman day in and day out, in the hopes of seeing something that might bring his memories back to the surface. 

And when she clicked over to the next movie and Shadow discovered the old man was well and truly dead, the prickling in Shadow’s chest grew sharper and an ache began to spread. 

He watched from the tree as Luke trained and trained, but eventually gave himself over to vengeance. 

Vengeance. 

The word eased the prickling in his chest and soothed the knot in his stomach. But the emptiness still remained. 

The light shines even though the star is gone. His anger subsided and instead the persistent feeling of shame and guilt curled in his gut. For what, he didn’t quite know, but he knew the sight of Darth Vader striking down the Old Man was the cause of it. The voice that called out the male’s name was unknown, but it rattled in his head over and over and over again. Like the memory of he’d relived of Maria. With no other options available to him, the only conclusion Shadow could come to was that he, like Darth Vader, had hurt this…Tom. 

And now, just like him after Maria, this woman was simply struggling to get by. 

His chest shriveled and he sped away before he could see the villain meet his fate. Maria had shown him enough movies for him to know how they went. 

Darth Vader was always beaten by Luke in the end. 

He didn’t return the next night. Or the night after that. 

Shadow’s newfound revelation sent him spiraling, guilt eating away at his stomach with each passing moment. Or perhaps it was the other revelation that–despite claims from the Professor–the Ultimate Life Form did in fact need to eat to survive. 

He’d managed to scrounge up some berries from the bushes nearby, but it wasn’t nearly enough to sustain himself. Especially with how much energy he exerted daily. At the lab, the Professor would give him coffee beans, which would not only provide him with enough sustenance for the constant tests, but were also rather delicious. 

If he was good, the scientists would reward him with human food as well, but it was never quite as strong as the beans. 

Maria often said one day she would take him to Spagonia, “They have the greatest food, Shadow, we’ll find you something there.”

As he stared up into the night sky, he wondered if it was even around anymore. So much of the world had changed and none of it looked familiar to the hedgehog. 

Not that he would have been able to recognize any of it–what with the gaping hole in his memory–but still, he found himself wondering if Maria would have even recognized the world around them once she’d been allowed back on Earth. 

Perhaps they’d even managed to find a cure without his help. 

And he would have remained the dangerous alien fallen to Earth with no one to guide him. 

It was almost preferable to the constant ache in his chest or the persistent emptiness in his gut. 

His stomach growled.

He needed to find food–real food–and fast. 

The woman would have some, but a slight hesitation hung in the back of his head at the thought of visiting her home once again. 

He’d been responsible for her suffering. For her pain. 

How could he even let himself think it was a good idea to steal from her now?

What right did he have to even enter her home?

Shadow shut his eyes and curled up into a ball, letting the hunger pains consume him. 

It’d been three days since her plate disappeared.

With no contact from the unusual creature in the crater, Tessa had continued her everyday routine, hanging the orange and popcorn garlands along with the rest of her Christmas decorations. After all, just because she was spending it alone didn’t mean she couldn’t get into the holiday spirit. 

That included putting out a plate of fresh scraps of hamburger and chicken for the strays that would often stop by her house in the middle of the night. 

But when she woke up to see the plate of food completely gone from the porch, she knew her alien animal had paid her a visit. What’s more, it’d been lingering. It couldn’t have gotten very far on its own, so Tessa spent the next few nights staking out her porch, trying to see if she could catch the creature in the act. 

She’d also put out a bowl of milk that had been left behind, so she was positive it wasn’t a cat. Although, she wasn’t quite sure cats liked milk in the first place. It felt like one of those facts you learned as a kid that were proven false later in life. 

Tom had suggested she call animal control or the military, but she wasn’t about to listen to him anytime soon. Especially when she didn’t trust any authority figure who made their living off the exploitation and oppression of others. Her grandfather’s job had been a major source of conflict between the family, with many of them seeing her as the black sheep with too many radical ideas to be reigned in. Her grandma desired to continue that streak, it seemed like.  

So instead she’d taken her usual route when it came to strays, lost children, and abandoned things. 

She’d offer help and see if they took it. 

Clearly this person, or animal, or thing did. 

She’d just have to chalk it up to the craziness of the week. 

Tessa sighed and shook her head as she clicked through another job application. 

One full week since she’d been fired, right before Christmas too, which meant fielding endless questions from her mom and dad when it came to what she was doing next. 

Thankfully, her parents returned home once they caught wind of the blizzard moving in, taking Tom with them. 

She was grateful for the silence. 

It wasn’t like she was getting any gifts this year anyway. 

After staring at the computer for what felt like hours, she finally shut it with a grunt and moved toward her messy kitchen. The dishes from six months ago were still piling up, but she wasn’t about to touch them anytime soon. So instead, she grabbed a paper plate and prayed that whoever took her nice dishes would return them soon. 

Tessa wasn’t the biggest fan of big dinners, but she would like to have something nice for Christmas Eve. Instead, after staring at the fridge for a couple minutes, she accepted her fate and grabbed nuggets from the freezer instead. 

She really should be doing something more productive–after all, she had all the time in the world–but instead all she’s done for the last few days is binge Star Wars and Grey's Anatomy. As she turned on another episode of the medical drama, she wondered if she should go back to school to become a doctor. 

Made more money than journalism, that's for damn sure. She flinched at the voice in her head. It sounded like her father’s. 

Her parents hadn’t exactly been understanding of her situation, with the exception of her Mom, who was trying her best not to lecture her. 

“You’ll land on your feet sweetie,” She’d said as she cradled Tessa in her arms the day she’d been let go, “Just try not to get so down about it.”

“You can’t afford to be overly emotional in situations like this,” Her dad had chimed in from his spot on the couch, lazily flipping through the TV channels. The rest of the evening passed in a blur, and all Tessa could remember was the anger rumbling in her chest and the tears teetering on the edge of her ducts. 

A day later, the crater appeared in her yard.

She’d had the strange sensation she was being watched as she moved through her kitchen that night, but when she looked outside her window, all she saw was darkness. And then Tom had called, asking her to drive them to the airport and practically yelling at her when she refused. Things were said, names were called, and he hadn’t contacted her since. 

No one had. 

Besides, everyone assumed she was crazy anyway. Regardless of what her parent’s therapist believed, she would be just fine on her own. After all, she’d been doing it for half her life. They could go back to Pennsylvania with their perfect ranch house and their perfect life, and she would gladly leave them alone. 

Her therapist, meanwhile, was currently AWOL after the moon was cut in half and a bright nebula appeared in the sky, but she wasn’t too surprised. He was always a bit of a conspiracy theorist anyway. 

Her phone buzzed just as the microwave went off and her nightly meal of nuggets and oreos was interrupted by the face of her mother staring up at her. 

“What do you need, Mom?” She put her on speaker, “I’m kind of in the middle of something.” 

The something she was currently in the middle of was watching Meredith and Derek try to hide their affair from Bailey. 

“Just checking in,” Her mom used her patented ‘stepping on eggshells’ voice she always did when dealing with delicate situations. “You know, I was speaking with Frances the other day–”

“Mom…” Tessa warned. 

Her mother sighed, “Alright, fine. I just thought–”

“You thought it would be a good idea to tell all your bridge club friends that I was fired in the hopes that one of their husbands would be able to give me a new job right?” 

Silence met her on the other line. “Well, when you put it like that–”

“Bye, Mom.” 

“Sweetie, wait–”

A blip of the phone later and Tessa was curled comfortably on her couch, sipping a cup of coffee at five o’clock at night. And then she heard the thud outside her door. She paused the show and sat up with a trained ear.

She stood up from the couch and threw open the front door. 

Nothing and nobody was there. 

Tessa peered around the edge of the porch, wondering if she’d imagined the whole thing. 

Clink!

Her gaze fell to the ground, eyes wide at the sound. 

Her plate had been returned with not a lick of food left in sight. 

“Hello?” She called out, suddenly finding her voice. Trying not to think about how stupid she looked talking to thin air, she pulled her cardigan closer to her and stepped further out into the cold. “Look, uh, I know you’re out there.” No response. The wind howled and a shiver erupted down her back. “And I know its cold, so…” She whirled around, suddenly struck with an idea. She bolted inside the house, searching through endless boxes to find what she was looking for. 

When she finally spied it, she let out a yell of victory. 

She walked outside again and placed an old Christmas tray on the edge of the deck with a red scarf. Tessa gulped and stared out at the endless void. “Just leave the scarf on the door and slide the tray under, I’ll make sure you get what you need.”

Again, silence met her words. 

A moment passed and she waited to see if anyone or anything would pop out. 

When nothing did, she simply sighed and went back inside. 

She never even noticed the flash of red just outside her door.

Chapter Text

Tessa woke up Christmas Day to see the scarf wrapped around her doorknob.

Her lips twitched upward into a small smile as she realized the creature had taken her up on her offer and she grabbed the holiday tray and set to work in the kitchen to cook something for it. 

Considering she didn’t know what exactly alien creatures liked to eat for breakfast and she wasn’t aware of any cultural or personal preferences, she settled on a classic. 

Pancakes.

Simple, effective, and she doubted there was a soul alive that disliked it. Besides, she didn’t exactly have any healthy food in her pantry–or any food at all–so she whipped some batter together and grabbed some whipped cream from the fridge, drawing a smiley face onto the stack with strawberries for eyes. 

Her smile dipped into a worried frown as she stared at the meal. 

Were pancakes safe for animals? 

She couldn’t remember anything that told her otherwise, but she also didn’t remember anything that told her she should feed them pancakes either. 

Google wasn’t very helpful, but it did tell her that pancakes were safe for some dogs to eat. 

But this animal wasn’t a dog. Or at least, she was sure it didn’t look like a dog. It looked kind of like a cat, if she recalled correctly, but seemed to walk on two legs like a human. 

And it definitely had opposable thumbs if it was able to hang her scarf on the door. 

Not for the first time, she wished she’d gotten a better look at it outside of when it first crashed to Earth. If she had some sort of frame of reference for what it was supposed to be, she could stop calling it ‘alien’ or ‘creature’ or ‘animal’ in her mind. It would be even better if it already had a name and pronouns so she could refer to it that way instead. 

It felt so dehumanizing to keep calling it ‘it’ or ‘thing’, even in her mind. 

Plus it would help when picking food to give the newcomer. Tessa stared at the stack smiling up at her with a furrowed brow, once again glad her family wasn’t around to witness this. 

She’d never hear the end of it. Especially from her father. 

He used to joke that she’d gotten her propensity for adopting strays from her grandfather, who’d foster dogs and cats and all sorts of animals who needed it. Her grandfather, however, would say that she, just like him, made friends fast and easily.

It didn’t matter if they were human or animal. She had a gift for bonding with anything that came across her path. 

“You always loved the misfits,” He chuckled one night over dinner, “The Frankensteins and ET’s of the world. The ones too weird or unusual to fit in.” He’d smiled fondly at her before reaching over the table to grab her hand, “It’s what makes me proud to be your grandfather.”

She stepped out into the freshly fallen snow with a soft smile, her chest aching as more memories pushed their way to the forefront of her mind. All having to do with the man who’d seen who she was beyond simply being the black spot on their family’s perfect record. Her grandfather used to say Emerald Coast was a misnomer, joking that the only thing that made it a coastal city was its proximity to the ocean. Otherwise, it was basically an extension of Canada at that point. The ache in her chest tightened and she shook the memory away, trying to forget the persistent nagging of grief at the thought of never being able to see the only family member who seemed to genuinely enjoy her company ever again. 

They’d grown apart after she’d graduated college, but she’d been hoping for closure after her mother told her the news. And then her grandmother had barred her from the funeral and her father told her it was better if she never returned to Pennsylvania. 

So she fled back up to the Emerald Coast, hiding away from the rest of the world, until her brother showed up on her doorstep with their parents to discuss the will. 

Thankfully, that visit had ended almost as soon as it began. 

The knot in her stomach twisted. She wondered if the creature in the forest had a family that missed him. Or maybe he was simply banished like she was. 

Banished. She scoffed at the word. Her therapist would have said it was too strong a word for a situation like this, but Tessa thought it fit perfectly. 

Her hand curled into a fist, fingernails digging into her palms as she attempted to push the burgeoning tears back down into her ducts. 

The usually green scenery was covered in a sheet of white, and she smiled when she saw footsteps on the stairs of her porch. 

They disappeared halfway out into the backyard, right where the crater was. 

Definitely two legs, she decided, placing the plate down with a steaming cup of coffee. She wasn’t sure if aliens from outer space drank coffee, but seeing as how the sun was just now cresting over Mount Baker, she figured they could do with a pick me up. If not, she’d just reheat it later for herself. 

She placed the scarf next to the Christmas tray with a stick on bow and snuck back into the house, peering out through the window in her kitchen to try and get a better look at them. 

They were outside her house in seconds, cementing her hypothesis that they were always lingering just outside her cabin. It couldn’t be too far if they were able to show up just a few seconds after she moved back into the house. 

She watched as the creature–now deciding it was male–paused and surveyed his surroundings before moving closer. He eyed the food cautiously, as if expecting a trap. His quills relaxed when he saw the scarf laying beside it. 

Tessa smiled as the animal wrapped himself in the knitted material. It covered his face, but the grumpy eyebrows and stern gaze remained. She resisted the urge to laugh at how his face seemed to be permanently stuck in that expression. 

He picked up the plate and stared at the pancakes with a puzzled expression, which immediately softened when he saw the mug of coffee beside it. The creature downed the liquid almost immediately, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

For such a small animal, he certainly seemed to have a big appetite, she thought. 

He couldn’t have been over three feet tall, still covered in dirt and grime from his entry a week ago. A patch of white fur on his chest was stained a dull red and Tessa watched as the animal struggled to walk for long periods of time. 

A result of his injuries, she surmised. 

Upon closer look, she definitely didn’t know what kind of animal he was supposed to be, but the quills led her to believe he was some kind of porcupine or hedgehog. She didn’t really know any other animals with quills, to be completely honest, so it was anyone’s guess. 

Tessa watched with a sympathetic expression as the porcu-hedgehog sat down on the steps of her porch and dug into the pancakes like he hadn’t had anything to eat in days.

She froze as a pair of red eyes met her brown ones. Oops. 

Left with little choice, she simply smiled at the animal and waved, holding up her own stack of smiling pancakes she’d made for herself. If it were possible, the hedgehog’s brows furrowed deeper into an even angrier expression, arms crossed over his chest. 

Tessa knew exactly what to do when greeted with such a sight. 

She’d done it to her brother a million times. 

She didn’t run, and she didn’t hide. 

Instead, she wrinkled her face into a more exaggerated version of the creature’s, stifling her laughter behind her smirk, crinkling her nose, and crossing her arms with a huff.

The animal blinked and dropped the tray. 

His eyes widened, as if he was seeing something else behind her. 

She turned around to see what he was looking at, but when she turned back around, he was gone. 

The next time the animal dropped the scarf on her door, she was ready to cheer him up. 

Now that she knew he was capable of other emotions besides anger and brooding, she wanted to see how far she could go before he decided she wasn’t worth hanging around anymore. 

Not that Tessa wanted him to go, but it was in her nature to test the limits of those around her, especially when making new friends. 

Her therapist called it self-sabotage, but she called it speeding up the inevitable. People always found her annoying or clingy or any other adjective one could think to describe the kid no one wanted around anymore, so she simply pushed their buttons until they either left her alone–like they always did–or they appreciated her antics and stuck around. 

Very few had done the latter. 

It was why she liked dogs. No matter what you did, they would always stay by your side. Cats were similar, except they would often retaliate if you went too far. She expected her visitor to do the same. 

The worst he could do was attack her back, in which case, her story and name would go down in history on conspiracy theory forums while the government covered up any involvement in the incident. 

Killed by a space alien, she pondered. There were worse ways to go. Besides, what else did she really have to lose? Her best friend was in a completely different country and her family certainly didn’t care enough to investigate her death. Not that she expected to die. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting exactly, she just liked to be prepared for all possible outcomes. 

Besides, what could it hurt?
She was just having a little fun. 

This time she heated up some leftover pizza, having used the last of the pancake batter that first morning. Leaving the tray of steaming pizza and coffee by the door, she snuck out the back, pulling her blue winter coat and snow boots on with a sly smirk as she slowly crept around the side of the house. 

She watched the animal approach the front porch, always carefully surveying his surroundings like he expected something to pop out and grab him. 

His gaze moved toward the kitchen window, clearly expecting to see her staring out at him. When he saw no one, his ears perked back up from their flattened state and he straightened his back. She watched as he eyed the new food warily, but didn’t outright reject it, and just like the pancakes, he wolfed the pizza down in seconds. 

She wondered how long he’d been on his own to make him eat like that.

Although, she ate pizza the same way, so maybe he was just appreciating the artform that was tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni on bread. 

Aliens like pizza, she shook her head, Who’d have guessed?

Tessa smiled from her hiding spot just around the corner. She waited until he finished off the mug of black coffee before gathering a handful of snow in her hands. 

She crept out from her hiding spot behind the house toward one of the trees in her yard, lining up her shot just in time for the hedgehog to grab the scarf and begin his walk down her porch. 

The snowball hit him square in the temple, dusting his black fur. 

He froze and shook the snow free with a huff. Tessa stifled her laughter as she watched his face slowly morph from one of surprise to vigilance. “Who’s there?!” 

His voice caught her off guard, but only for a moment. She wasn’t exactly expecting him to talk. Nor was she expecting him to sound like…that. Deep and smooth yet still unsure. Like a child trying to sound tougher than he was. His hands balled themselves into fists and he continued to survey the area. 

This time she took more of a step out, just enough for him to see the gleam of her eyes before she struck again. 

The hedgehog grunted and whirled around, clearly upset at the thought of being bested by an invisible adversary. “Show yourself!” He yelled, deeper and lower. When she peeked out behind the tree, her eyes widened at the sight before her. 

Red-orange lightning danced on the edge of the hedgehog’s quills, and even from this distance, she could see his eyes blazing with the same energy, all pointed her direction. 

Despite the severity of her situation finally settling over her, Tessa couldn’t help but let out a giggle as she snuck behind the tree once again. 

She watched as the red-orange energy disappeared at the sound, his expression softening as he stared at her hiding spot with the same wide-eyed disbelief he’d worn Christmas morning. “Maria?” His voice shook as he said the name, as if summoning a ghost, “Is that you?” 

Tessa froze, a prickling blooming behind her chest as she leaned against the bark, snowball in hand. She dropped the weapon, the quiet of the snow muffling the ball’s thud.

Silence hung over the house for a brief moment before she heard a small huff from the creature. 

“No,” He muttered to himself, “She’s gone. You’re just seeing things.”
The furrowed brows and angry frown were back. 

Although this time, Tessa could understand where they were coming from. 

She recognized the look in his eyes. The deep frown and clenched fists and the soft muttering to remind themselves that the person they loved was never coming back. 

She bit down on the inside of her cheek and drew her brows forward. Her chest panged and twisted at the realization. 

She stepped out to call off the snowball fight, but the hedgehog was gone. 

Her shoulders deflated and she let out a sigh. A streak of red stood out against the white of the snow and her heart sank when she realized what it was. 

He’d left the scarf behind. 

Tessa gently picked it up and stared at it with a frown. 

Looks like she’d gone too far. 

Again. 

The loss of her new hedgehog friend hurt, especially since she was finally getting used to not being alone anymore. 

Now, she was back to her daily routine of waking up, applying to jobs, and going to bed after a not-so-healthy dose of television. 

Throughout all of this, she kept a keen eye out for a flash of black fur or red eyes, always disappointed when it turned out to be a blanket or a t-shirt she’d forgotten to wash. 

Tessa blew out a sigh as she brushed out her wet curls, the lengths of hair lifeless and stringy. If she was getting ready for work, she’d actually put effort into styling it, but instead she allowed herself to wallow. 

She was good at that. Possibly the only thing she was good at, according to her mom and dad. The days had stretched out into what felt like weeks, and while she still left pieces of pizza and mugs of coffee on the doorstep, she was always disappointed when she woke up to see that they’d remained untouched overnight. 

Perhaps it was for the best, a voice that sounded an awful lot like Tom’s said, You don’t want the military knocking down your door because you tried to befriend a space creature.

She sighed and braided her hair back, trying to get used to the newfound emptiness in her routine, but the twisting in her chest never subsided. 

Regardless, she always left the red scarf tied on the doorknob with an “I’m Sorry” note pinned to the fabric in case he ever came back. 

Curling up on her couch with a cup of decaf and a blue fuzzy blanket, she switched the final Star Wars movie on and finally finished her marathon. 

She almost thought she spied a pair of bright red eyes in the reflection of the television, but when she blinked, her own reflection stared back at her. 

Shadow’s injuries were getting worse. The first few days, the pure adrenaline rushing through his veins was enough to keep him afloat, but now the pain was back in full force. 

His leg throbbed as he slowly trudged toward the edge of the treeline, leaning against the trunk of the evergreens with his good side, avoiding the flare that shot up his opposite side and sent his head reeling. 

The Professor gave him accelerated healing, but it didn’t seem to matter when he kept aggravating his wounds. The scientists in the lab would always stress stasis when it came to any sustained injuries, but each day he was in his tube was a day not spent with Maria, and so he would often go against their orders. His healing would always kick in anyway.

But it wasn’t now. 

He wasn’t sure why. 

Shadow grimaced as he forced himself to stand up straight. His body would heal, he decided. But right now he had more important matters to take care of. 

Shadow wasn’t ready to face why he kept coming back to the woman’s cabin, but something deep in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t for pure reconnaissance anymore. 

It had stopped being a mission when she’d given him the tray and the red scrap of fabric, and he’d found himself experiencing an emotion he’d hadn’t felt in fifty years. 

Gratitude. 

Despite never being on the receiving end of it, he knew a gift when he saw one, and the red fabric provided a comfort against the harsh weather of the town he now found himself in. 

It hadn’t stopped with the fabric either. 

The woman gave him food. Greasy and fattening food, but it soothed the growl in his stomach and tasted like what Maria used to share. It tasted nothing like the nutrition pellets the scientists had forced down his throat. The coffee the woman made also tasted better than anything he’d been given at the lab, and provided him with enough energy to turn the sizzling pain in his limbs to a dull ache, allowing him to survey the town for any potential threats. 

The small town of Emerald Coast was surrounded by a plethora of evergreen trees with a river rushing through it from the mouth of the Pacific. A large snowcapped mountain hung in the distance, and everyone he’d observed seemed rather content with their isolated existence. 

Children sped down large hills on flat circular discs or thin sticks attached to their feet, while their human caretakers yelled at them to be careful with steaming hot drinks in their hands and red noses on their smiling faces. 

The town itself looked like something out of one of Maria’s books, with brightly colored buildings trimmed with white and stained with the age of rust and dirt. 

Many of the human caretakers seemed to congregate in a brown building with drinks in mugs too big for their hands, laughing and cheering as a group of men on television tackled each other to the ground. 

Of all the places he could have landed, it seemed like he truly crashed somewhere safe. He shifted his weight in discomfort, the dull ache briefly turning into a white-hot ripple. 

No place was ever truly safe. 

While GUN hadn’t found him yet, he knew it was only a matter of time before his very existence would draw them here, disturbing the quiet peace of the tiny coastal town. 

He would never admit it, but he’d grown used to the small routine he’d made with the human woman. Grown used to leaving the fabric on the steps of her cabin and teleporting into the tree to wait for her to arrive with the food and coffee. He’d allow himself to eat unencumbered before speeding around town to look for any changes to his surroundings. Then, he’d return to his cave and stare up at the stars until the sun rose. 

He never slept. 

He didn’t need to. 

The waking nightmares were enough. 

The day he saw Maria in the snow, he knew he’d gotten too comfortable. 

In truth, it was the only time he ever considered the small town to be somewhat threatening. Snow pelted him in the head, but with an almost gentle force. Playful. Like Maria throwing popcorn at his face or pinching him when he thought too much. 

He spied a bit of blue out of the corner of his eye after the second mound of snow hit him, and a giggle followed soon after. 

He’d made the mistake of looking in the direction of the giggle, but saw nothing. 

Shadow blinked, and an image of blonde hair and a blue dress appeared for a brief moment, before disappearing again. 

His fists clenched and he’d sped off into the distance. 

It was only when he reached his cave, he realized he’d left behind the red fabric he’d been using to keep warm. 

Now, he’d finally worked up the courage to go back and get it, but it was gone. 

He wasn’t sure why, but something sharp struck his chest. He teleported up to the tree to see if the human had taken it back, or if she’d simply left it to rot in the snow. He paused when he caught sight of Darth Vader on the screen once more. 

The human was watching the tale of Luke again. 

The sharpness turned white hot when he caught sight of the red fabric wrapped around her neck. 

She was clutching it tightly, and Shadow blinked at the gesture, the chill of the wind ruffling his quills. The woman was buried in a heap of blankets, but still kept the window cracked open. 

Slowly, Shadow crept closer using the bough of the tree. He could hear the low tones and voices of the movie echoing in his mind, and he creased his brow as he watched Luke stare at the mechanical man, his laser sword glowing green and ready to strike. 

This was the moment Luke had been waiting for. The moment his vengeance would be fulfilled. 

He waited…and waited…but the moment never came. Instead, Shadow watched as he turned to face a hooded figure Shadow hadn’t seen before, victory dancing across his face as he threw away his laser sword.

“I am a Jedi. Like my father before me.”

This is not who I am. 

A pair of emerald eyes in a blue face erupted across his vision and Shadow nearly fell out of his hiding spot. It was the first face he’d seen that wasn’t Maria or Gerald’s. In fact, the face looked like him. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished, leaving no trail of memories for him to follow. 

Who was that? How did he know him? 

Shadow’s head exploded in pain, gritting his teeth as he writhed underneath the canopy of the tree, clutching the sides of his temples like it would do anything to help the pain subside. It shot through his veins and he let out a soft groan, unable to be heard over the howling of the wind. 

The white hot sensation burned behind his eyes, and when he opened them, he saw nothing but darkness. 

Something deep in the back of Shadow’s mind fought its way forward, but it dissipated like the fog of his breath on a cold night. Grasping for something just out of reach. 

His hands clenched themselves into fists, shoulders tense.

His eyes drifted back to the woman, who lifted the red fabric up to her face like she was smelling it for something. 

The human was probably grateful to have it back, he thought, trying to ignore the sinking feeling clawing at his stomach. The fabric wasn’t his, after all, and he always knew it was a temporary thing. The human needed it more than he did anyway. 

A shiver erupted down his back and he teleported back to his cave, trying to ignore the burning flashes underneath his fur, followed just as quickly by the uncontrollable chill of the night. A battle between hot and cold as the world moved in a haze before his eyes. 

Shadow squeezed them shut and curled up into a ball, trying to ignore the agony writhing in his chest, in his head, in his leg in his–he spazzed as the cold ground seeped into his matted fur, the howling wind brushing against his quills. 

He’d lived in worse places after all.

His mind travelled back to the lab, where he’d sat suspended for hours on end as scientists and doctors poked and prodded him and jotted down their findings. He’d crush a metal block, leaving bits of shrapnel in his palms, and all they’d do is scratch their observations into a journal while their faces broke out into a mixture of fear and disgust. They reacted that way to everything he did, refusing to touch him unless they had to. 

The only time he saw a hint of something other than disgust was when he’d managed to generate enough chaos energy to power one of the Professor’s machines. But it was always accompanied by fear. 

The only person who ever felt comfortable enough to touch him freely was the Professor. And the only person who ever looked at him with something other than fear was Maria. 

And then the woman in the cabin approached a smoking crater with an outstretched hand and a concerned look in her brown eyes, offering him food and giving him a gift. It was as if he was back in his stasis tube, staring at a young girl with bright blue eyes and an outstretched hand. Like he was someone deserving of kindness. 

Like he was something soft and fragile instead of dangerous and indestructible.  

I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Wetness struck his cheek and snow began to fall. 

Chapter Text

On the nights she couldn’t sleep, Tessa would find herself out on the property looking up at the stars. The upside to living out in the woods was that she was far enough from the city lights to see the fullness of the night sky staring down at her. 

It was astounding how often she could see the milky way just beyond her reach, and sometimes she felt as though she were close enough to touch it. Once, when she was younger–before she’d grown into who she was now–her father took her out to the edge of their ranch house and explained each of the stars to her. 

He pointed out Orion, as it was the easiest one to find, and then slowly moved over to the big and little dipper, Sirius shining bright above them as he told her the stories that inspired people to give names to figures in the sky. 

Ever since, piecing together the constellations was one of the few things that always calmed her racing mind. Her favorite one to look for was Cygnus, the swan. Not only was it difficult to find each star, but the constellation itself reminded her of swan lake. Of the beautiful woman forced to be a swan by day and a human by night, whose curse could only be broken by true love only to die because it betrayed her in the end. 

She’d be lying if the story hadn’t inspired some of her desire to move out west, directly next to the ocean, surrounded by evergreen trees. 

The downside to living so far from the city, was if she did end up meeting her demise, there would be no one to save her. 

Living out in the cabin required her to suspend some sense of self-preservation, although she’d been taking boxing and muay thai for her own peace of mind. Not that it would help against the wolves and bears if they decided she would make a good meal for the winter. 

She supposed it was a bit like living in space. No one to hear you scream and all that good stuff. 

The truth was she’d been preparing for her own death longer than she could remember. 

A sick child grew into a reckless teenager which grew into a mentally ill adult. 

So she’d spent those nights staring up at the stars, often falling asleep underneath them in a pair of threadbare pajamas and nothing but a blanket to pad the ground beneath her. 

Tonight was not one of those nights. 

Tonight, there were no stars, and she was venturing out into the forest to do the other thing she did when she couldn’t sleep. Walk. 

A thick cover of clouds obscured the stars and moon, raining down freshly packed snow that crunched under her boots, following the small path she’d worn in the dirt from endless nights of pacing. 

Nothing to light her way except her own knowledge of the path she walked. 

It was a familiar feeling. 

A soft whimper stopped her in her tracks. Barely able to hear the sound over the gusts of wind, Tessa strained her ears as another whine floated into the air. This one was deeper, and sounded more like a groan. 

She followed the sound as quickly as she could, trekking through feet of snow and rush of trees. Whatever was groaning sounded like it was in a great deal of pain. She took off at a sprint, and the ground came up to meet her, feet caught in a tangle of roots. 

Her mouth dropped open in a gasp when she saw what she’d landed next to.

Under a freshly fallen mound of snow lay a bundle of black and red matted fur. 

“Shit,” She gasped, scrambling to her knees and pulling herself forward. The frost bit her fingers as she dragged the hedgehog free, scraping his fur free of any frozen clumps. The quills were harder to reach, and she swore as the spines pricked her fingers, drawing small amounts of blood. 

By the time she’d wrapped the animal up in her sweatshirt, her hands felt as though they were about to fall off. 

The white wisps of her breath told her she didn’t have time to waste, and with a chill running through her bones, she sprinted in the direction of the cabin. 

The cold nipped at her skin, slowing her down with each step, but she could see the silhouette of her house in the distance, the door growing closer and closer as the winds blew harder and harder. She could feel the slow stirring of the hedgehog in her arms, but it was growing fainter and fainter, his whines near silent. 

Tessa could feel her heart pounding in her chest, rushing up the stairs and slamming the door behind her. 

She still shivered in the warmth of the cabin and quickly shed her wet clothes, turning on the fireplace and lighting as many candles as she could to try and circulate as much warmth as possible. 

Gently laying the hedgehog on an armchair in front of the fire, she grabbed a towel from the bathroom and a blanket from her couch, wiping off the snow and mud from his frame as best she could. 

Slow methodical strokes revealed deep red streaks against the black of his fur and quills, but despite her best efforts, the animal was still covered in grime and dirt. Something told her it would only come out with a shower or a bath. 

The hedgehog flinched as she dragged the towel down his side and she gently moved his arm to reveal a thick gash stretching up from what looked like his ribs toward his tail, directly below his lowest spike. She quickly realized that wasn’t the only injury the animal was sporting. 

A small cut hovered just above his eye, draining blood down his snout while one of his legs appeared to be at an awkward angle and looked broken, although considering she knew nothing about alien hedgehog anatomy, she could be all wrong. 

Grabbing her emergency first aid kit from the coat closet, she began to move her hands up and down the alien’s body, first checking his pulse–which was alarmingly fast–and then moving to adjust his leg with a makeshift splint. 

It was poor work, and she’d definitely have to take him to the clinic to truly get the full makeup of his injuries, but it worked enough for her to wrap his leg and clean up the blood around his face. As she began to wipe his fur clean, she watched his black nose twitch and scrunch before letting out a small sneeze. 

She cooed involuntarily, the sound catching her off-guard. Almost immediately the animal let out another groan of pain, shivering despite the warmth of the house. “It’s okay,” She muttered softly, gently rubbing her fingers through his quills like he was a stray dog instead of a dangerous alien being who’d taken up residence in her backyard. “You’re okay.”

His quills relaxed as she continued to pet in between each one, the material surprisingly soft. It felt like hair, and she ran her hands through it like her mother used to do to rock her to sleep. 

“Shhh,” She hushed, wincing at the slight flinch of the hedgehog as she moved to treat the large gash near his back. “It’s going to be okay. You're gonna be okay, I promise.”

Tessa wasn’t sure how true her words would end up being, she wasn’t a doctor after all, but she would try her best. Just like she would for anyone else. 

Pulling up google and youtube on her phone, she figured it was best to follow a human tutorial rather than an animal one. She used water to disinfect the cut, along with the rest of his wounds, and slowly put pressure on it. When it looked like she’d cleaned up most of the blood, she placed a large bandage over the wound, but it still wasn’t enough to cover the full surface area. 

It didn’t look infected from what she could tell, and for that she was grateful. She wasn’t sure how she would explain this to Chrissy if she’d had to bring the animal in for treatment. 

Pleased enough with her work, Tessa grabbed a sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts from her laundry basket and slid them on. She hovered her hands over the fake fire, the warmth from the heater soothing her chilled bones and wetness between her fingers. 

She shivered and turned her gaze toward the creature on her chair. 

If she was this cold, she could only imagine how the hedgehog felt. 

They preferred to hibernate in the winter, after all, so she was sure he wasn’t used to cold and snow like this. As if reading her thoughts, the animal quivered and curled tighter into a ball. 

Pursing her lips, she stood up and ventured out into the cold once more, grabbing the scarf from the doorknob and removing the note. She stared sympathetically at the creature as she gently wrapped his neck up in the knit fabric. His hand grasped the scarf and pulled it closer to him. 

Her face softened as she began to tuck the blanket around him and removed his shoes, making sure to avoid his quills. She paused when she caught sight of his feet, socks worn through like he’d had the same pair on for the last several years. 

Poor little guy, she thought to herself. He shivered once again and she gently picked him up and brought him to the floor, directly in front of the fireplace. Grabbing an old throw pillow, she gently placed it under his head and on her lap. It was only when his quills relaxed again that Tessa finally allowed herself to breathe. 

She leaned against the chair, gently brushing her fingers through his fur while her head fell against her outstretched arm. She stared at the poor creature, pity stirring in her chest at the sight. How long had he been out there? Why hadn’t he at least taken refuge on the porch? 

Her chest stung as she realized it was probably a result of her prank a few days earlier. 

If she’d known it would have affected him that much she never would have done it. She just wanted to cheer him up. 

Well, he could be mad at her tomorrow, she yawned. 

Tonight, she was cold and tired and in need of sleep. 

Flickering golden flames crackled and warmed her chilled bones, lids heavy as the world disappeared into inky blackness, her hand stilling amongst bundles of fur. 

When Shadow awoke, he was surrounded by warmth. 

It was an unfamiliar feeling, opening his eyes on his own terms instead of slowly watching the fluid drain from his stasis tube while the doctors and scientists huddled around him, anxious for more tests. 

He was always woken up when the scientists demanded it. The blaring of the alarm rattling his skull as they immediately set to work drawing blood, taking DNA samples, and comparing his anatomy to other lifeforms on earth, including humans. 

But here, surrounded by blankets and burned out candles, he’d woken of his own fruition. The sun was high in the sky, causing him to squint as he tried to focus in on his surroundings. 

He didn’t know when his unconsciousness turned from fitful to dreamless, but he did recall gentle touches and a soft voice whispering in his ear. 

It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. 

He’d had to have imagined it. 

Maria’s face flashed across his memory, her brows drawn tight while she grabbed his hand and looked up at the stars. 

No one had ever been gentle with him. No one had ever consoled him. 

It had always been tight grips and rough shoves with the barrel of a gun, wary looks and wide berths from any and all humans.

But the bandages over his wounds proved otherwise.

He froze when he finally caught sight of the bright yellow couch and the familiar decorations on the walls. He was in the woman’s house. He was wrapped in the woman’s blankets. Shadow’s eyes fell to the figure sleeping beside him. 

She was collapsed against one of the comfortable chairs in the room, her arm splayed out beneath her head while the rest of her body remained upright. It looked extremely uncomfortable, Shadow thought, but clearly she’d managed to fall into a deep unconsciousness. 

He moved to stand and watched as her hand fell from his fur. 

Shadow blinked, trying to decipher what motive the woman might have to bring him into her home. 

She didn’t look like a GUN agent, and he was pretty sure he would be halfway to a government facility if she was. His next thought turned to something much more gruesome. Perhaps she was toying with him. Perhaps she’d found out he’d been responsible for injuring Tom and was psychologically torturing him before delivering the final blow. 

Maybe that had been her endgame all along. 

To lull him into a false sense of security before striking. 

It made sense. It’s what he would have done. 

It’s what he had done. 

And it was exactly what he deserved. There was still a giant hole where his memories were supposed to be, but the guilt and shame were enough to convince him of his own wrongdoing. It twisted and writhed in his chest and stomach, and no amount of accelerated healing could do anything to stop it. 

So instead of rushing out the door or Chaos Controlling his way to freedom, he simply sat back down amongst the bundle of blankets and accepted his fate. 

He just hoped Maria would forgive him before he was sent into the depths of hell. 

When the woman finally stirred, she blinked at the sight of the red and black hedgehog sitting forlornly in the middle of the room, tilting her head before crossing her legs and mirroring Shadow’s pose. 

He waited for her to yell, or shout, or toss him out into the snow and leave him to die. 

It would be more than he deserved. 

“Are you okay?”

Shadow froze, caught off guard by how concerned she sounded. He forced himself to meet her gaze, a mixture of sympathy and concern lining her big brown eyes and soft smile. He looked for a trace of anger, a glimpse of fear, and was baffled when all he saw was quiet worry. 

Not for herself, but for him. 

Shadow hesitated, unsure of what to do next. The woman shuffled closer and he stilled.

As if sensing his discomfort, the woman stopped and lifted her hands in surrender, keeping her distance as she moved to her knees. “I’m not going to hurt you.” She assured, “I just need to change your bandages okay?” Shadow eyed her, trying to find a hint of deception in her gaze. 

Unfortunately, all he saw was an earnestness that sent a white hot spear through his chest. Slowly, but surely, she reached out a hand, “Is it alright if I touch you?”

Shadow’s breath hitched, but he knew what came next. 

The change in bandages, the check of a pulse, the poking and prodding that inevitably followed every examination. 

But still, no one had ever asked him before. 

Furrowing his brows together, his eyes drifted toward the chair, a perfect height for the human to take stock of his injuries. It was no metal table, but it would do. His body didn’t feel like his own as he pulled himself to his feet and moved past the woman. The cushioning was soft, but all he felt was limp as he offered up his leg in silent consent. 

She stared at his wounds with a concerned brow, but didn’t move any closer. 

A soft hum buzzed in his ears while he waited, allowing the tension in his muscles to dissipate while his mouth moved of its own accord. 

“Yes,” He muttered, before tacking on the familiar title, “doctor.”

A phrase he knew all too well.  

Her eyes widened and she sent him a soft smile, “I’m not a doctor,” She shook her head and grabbed a red bag with a white cross from her side. “Although I’m flattered you think so.” Confusion settled into his bones, but he said nothing. 

This was the only familiar setting he’d come across since his fall to Earth. A procedure he was used to doing over and over and over–

“If you have to call me anything, call me Tessa,” The woman’s smile widened as she began to remove a crudely made splint and began to move her hands up and down his lower leg. “It is my name, after all.” She said, as if telling him a joke only the two of them shared. Shadow couldn’t understand the punchline.

The pressure on his leg was soft and gentle, but felt far away, as though it were happening to someone else. “I never thought I’d ever get this close to an alien.” She chuckled and Shadow felt his muscles tense at the word. 

Beware the Alien Freak. 

The woman’s mouth screwed itself into a frown at his expression. “Sorry,” She shook her head as she began to rewrap his leg, “That was rude.” The politeness shocked him, but Shadow kept his head low and his face schooled into a neutral expression at the apology. “Do you have a name? Something I can call you so I don’t…” She trailed off, concern still present in her irises as her hand finished setting the bandage. Something else danced behind her expression as well, although he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. 

“Shadow.” He finally muttered. 

The woman’s lips twisted up into a smile. “Shadow.” She said his name like he’d given her a gift, “I like it, it fits you.”

He didn’t quite know what to say to that, so he reverted to his standard reply of a few words. “Thank you.”

She continued to dress his wounds in silence, eyes wide as she brought her hand right above his brow bone, as if searching for something that wasn’t there anymore. It was only when he’d landed on both feet he suddenly realized the throbbing on his bad side had dulled to a small ache, barely noticeable. 

His healing had kicked in. He also realized his shoes were missing. As if somehow reading his thoughts, the woman now known as Tessa pointed toward the fireplace. “Hope you don’t mind, I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable in wet socks and dirty shoes.” Shadow frowned as he spied his air shoes and beaten up socks under the chair. He slid them on in silence, sinking into the comfort of the pads once more. They were warm. Again, he wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he muttered out a small “Thank you,” and waited for her to finally address what she was going to do with him. 

It didn’t make sense for her to care for him. 

It didn’t make sense for her to care about his comfort.

It was too good to be true, Shadow knew this, and so he waited for the rug to be pulled out from under him.

Tessa stood up from her position and zipped the bag shut. “Well,” She blew out a sigh as she surveyed the mess on the floor, “I don’t know about you, but I could use a coffee.” Shadow furrowed his brow as she moved toward the kitchen, gesturing for him to follow. 

Shadow remained frozen in place. 

Tessa turned around, still looking at him with those wide eyes and a welcoming smile, “You coming?”

He searched for any trap in her words, growing frustrated when he found none.

Why was she doing this?

Why was she being so kind to him when he’d taken everything away from her? 

He stared at the pile of blankets surrounding his feet, his chest twisting when he saw the familiar red knitted fabric among them. She’d gone to such lengths to keep him comfortable, to take care of his wounds and now she was offering him a coffee. 

The least he could do was repay her efforts.

Chapter Text

Shadow followed the woman through her kitchen until he sat a small rectangular gray table with four identical chairs on either side of it. It faced a wall with several dozen photographs hanging from it. Most included the woman with some other humans. Shadow turned away when he saw one with blonde hair and a wide smile, focusing his attention to the cloth folded in half across the table, decorated with yellow flowers Shadow couldn’t name. It was the same color as her couch, the same color as the painting on her wall, the same color as the mug she’d set down in front of him. 

“Creamer?” She asked, shaking a blue jug with a red cap. He shook his head and she nodded, pouring some into her cup before sitting down across from him. 

When she finally did, he asked the question that had been on his mind since he’d woken up. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Tessa hummed thoughtfully and shrugged while taking a sip of her drink, “You were cold and obviously injured.” She answered, more straightforward than he was expecting, “I couldn’t just let you die.”

She said it as though it were the natural course of things. 

As though he deserved to live after all he had done. 

You should have, he thought remorsefully, the guilt of being alive still eating away at his stomach. He stared into the blackness of his coffee before taking a large gulp. He’d been waiting for death since he first learned what it was back in the lab. 

It’d been more than frustrating when the scientists informed him he couldn’t. 

“It’s remarkable,” The Professor uttered as he held up one of Shadow’s loose quills, “Your body rejects any and all kinds of disease. Any attempt to introduce the unknown to you is simply met with elimination. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say you were immortal.”

Immortal. 

Unable to die. 

Forced to live. 

Whenever he’d asked about this curse, the Professor had simply shaken his head and moved on from the subject, claiming how his energy and DNA could usher in a new era of science. A potential cure for every disease, clean energy for all, the possibilities were endless. 

Shadow had only ever had one goal for his powers. And he’d never seen it come to fruition. 

He surveyed his surroundings, staring at the small rectangular device in the woman’s hand, the black box she used to control the television, the machine that brewed coffee near instantly without beans or a filter. It looked like the new era had come without the Professor to witness it. 

“Why?” He asked again, trying to piece together her motivations. She was confusing and he disliked what he couldn’t understand. 

She shrugged again, like he was asking her about the weather instead of trying to uncover the reason he was still alive. “It was the right thing to do.”

You always have a choice. There it was again. Those bright emerald eyes and that unflinchingly positive tone. It shone golden in the back of his mind, but when he reached for it, it vanished into thin air. Making the right one is never easy. 

His grip tightened around the mug and it shattered in his hands. 

Shadow lowered his head and braced himself for the yell. Instead, Tessa grabbed a small brush and swept the pieces into the garbage, checking his hands for any cuts. His eyes landed on the black and yellow ceramic shards, decorated with a white circle and three diamonds, each a different color. 

Blue, Red, and Yellow. 

You’re a colorful bunch.

He blinked and shook the thought away as a sheepish look crossed his face. “I am sorry.”

“Oh it’s fine,” She waved it off carelessly, “That mug was ugly anyway.”

It was confounding, how easily she moved on from his apologies and his nature without a care in the world. He was an unwanted guest in her home who’d broken her belongings. She should be furious, she should be pushing him out of the way or letting out a disappointed sigh. She should be yelling at him to get out, but she wasn’t.

“My brother got it for me for Christmas,” She spat out the title of brother like it was a curse and Shadow tensed at the mention of the man whose name had been at the forefront of his mind since his landing, “I don’t even like football, let alone the Steelers, I’m an eagles fan if anything, but of course he couldn’t be bothered to remember that.” She muttered under her breath, as though she were the only person in the room. Shadow watched as she hoisted up a bag from a black plastic bin.

“Your brother’s name is Tom, correct?” Shadow forced the name from his mouth. He needed confirmation. 

Tessa dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed another mug from the cupboard, “Yep, although he prefers to go by ‘Thomas” Two of her fingers moved up and down as she said his full name, “Says it makes him sound more official.”

Shadow gulped, a sharp spear digging deeper and deeper into his chest, “I’m sorry.”

She scoffed and Shadow blinked in disbelief. “Oh, don’t be. He’s always been a little shit and will continue to remain one until the end of time. Really, I should be the one apologizing.” She hit a button on the green coffee machine and Shadow’s ear twitched at the loud gurgling coming from the countertop. He was more confused than ever. 

“But, I’m the one who hurt him.” Shadow’s brow furrowed as the weight of the guilt crushed his chest. It was nothing compared to waiting for her to say something in return. 

Instead, Tessa stared at him with creased brows and a tilted head, as if she didn’t know what he was talking about. 

The lump in his throat grew larger with each passing moment, wondering if this was some other trick she had up her sleeve. A long con, the Professor had called it once. Where people make you so comfortable it hurts when they finally strike back. 

“When did you hurt him?” 

The question catches him off guard, but he gathers his bearings enough to give her a coherent answer. Only, when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. His mind is blank, trying to recall where and when he’d committed the act. He finds a hole where the memory should be. 

Her face shifts into something unreadable as the coffee maker grew quiet and she set another mug in front of him. He is careful to grip it lightly. 

“Look, I would know if my brother was hurt and as of now, he is perfectly fine.” Her voice is soft and controlled, like she is speaking to a child instead of a dangerous weapon. It does nothing to soothe the storm inside him. “You, on the other hand, have several bad injuries and clearly some kind of memory damage.” Her assessment twists his thoughts. “A fall like that would mess with anyone’s head.” 

Shadow blinked and began to muse quietly on her words. Was it true? Were his memories some kind of fabrication by the scientists to test him? Why was that name so familiar then? Why did he hear it in his waking nightmares with a distorted version of his own voice screaming Maria’s name? Why did he feel, in his very bones, that he was an essential piece of the puzzle when it came to his missing time? “

“Besides,” Her voice cut through his thoughts, and Shadow finally looked up to meet her gaze, “Even if you had hurt him, I’d still do the exact same thing.”

Shadow’s ears flattened and he shifted his eyes to his reflection in the dark liquid swirling around in his cup. His matted fur and broken quills made him look a lot less threatening than he truly was. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him. 

The Professor had seen a subject.

Maria had seen a friend. 

All he saw was darkness. 

“It’s more than I deserve.”

He flinched as her hand reached over to cover his. She pulled away when she saw his reaction. “It’s not about deserve,” She smiled softly, fingers tapping gently against the table, “I couldn’t just abandon you, it’s not who I am.”

Shadow’s stomach clenched. 

This is not who I am. 

“How do you know?” He looks up at her with a furrowed brow. 

“What?”

“Who you are.”

She stares at him blankly, as if he’d asked her to solve quantum physics. Her mouth opens and closes, as if she’s going to say something before taking it back. Shadow wonders if he’s somehow gone too far. 

She finally blows out a sigh and wraps both her hands around her mug, leaning forward with a pensive brow, “I guess…” She trails off, gathering her thoughts, “It’s sort of like clothes. You try on different things until you find what fits.”

Shadow stares back at his reflection, pondering her words. “I don’t think I know who I am.”

A pause hangs between them.

“That’s okay,” Tessa shrugs, the simple gesture attempting to reassure him. All it did was serve to confuse him more. “It took me ages to figure it out. Hell, I’m still figuring it out.”

He brings his gaze up to meet hers and finds only acceptance. 

It is a strange sensation. 

“The point is, you can be whoever you want to be Shadow.” 

You can do or be anything you want.

A moment passes and she opens her hand in a gesture that gives him pause. Her fingers are splayed open in waiting acceptance, giving him the chance to be the one to take it. 

He doesn’t know if he can. 

“I’ll help you.”

“Why?” He barely chokes out. 

She shrugs. “Do I need a reason?”

“Everyone has a reason.” 

No one is purely altruistic. Not anymore. There was only one person who truly had no motivation outside the genuine joy and love in her heart and she was gone. 

Tessa pulls back her hand and sits back against her chair, scanning him up and down. “You truly believe that don’t you?”

He doesn’t dignify her question with an answer. 

Instead, he sits still with his back straight, like he always did when dealing with those that considered themselves superior to him. 

She was still human. 

And he was the Ultimate Life Form. 

She blows out a sigh and gets up from the table, setting her cup in the sink, “Look, you don’t have to do anything you don't want to, but I do have a guest bedroom and a ‘no questions asked’ policy if you need it.”

“You’re offering me a place to stay?” He asked, trying to hide his bewilderment behind indifference. 

She places a hand on her hip and leans against the counter with a nod, “Unless, you have other family you need to–”

“No.” He cuts her off with a growl. 

She doesn’t flinch. 

He has no family. Not anymore. And this woman was offering not only comfort and food and company, but shelter. A place to stay until he landed back on his feet. A place to hide from the world while he waited for his memories to return. 

There it is again, stirring in his chest. 

Gratitude. 

But he knows if he stays he puts not just her, but the whole town in danger. If he stays, he risks drawing the barrel of GUN directly to her door. 

She sighs and grabs the bag of trash off the floor, “It’s your choice. I gotta take this out and then head into town for a bit, so why don’t you think about it?”

When she disappears down the long stretch of snow leading to the street, Shadow finally allows himself to truly consider what she is saying.  

There is some part of him that longs to say yes to her offer, but another, more prominent part of his mind pushes back, and reminds him that he can’t. 

Not just because of GUN, but because everywhere he looks he sees a constant reminder of a deeper, more subtle pain digging into his chest. 

The warmth of the blankets and the cup of coffee in his hand, the grainy photographs decorating the walls with soft twinkling lights that reminded him of the stars, the bundles of paper and laundry and the fresh smell of lavender and citrus wafting up into his nose. 

The creak of the door, the stomping of footsteps on the mat.

It all served as a painful reminder that he didn’t belong. 

And he never would. 

He was a monster, the horrifying alien freak everyone needed to be wary of. He was a weapon, created for…his mind went blank.

“Shadow?” A voice calls to him, but it sounds far and away. 

Why couldn’t he remember? 

His purpose in the lab…surely they must have told him. 

“Shadow, can you hear me? 

He froze, Maria’s voice keeping him firmly in place. The scientists must have known what his purpose was. Why else would they poke and prod and take DNA samples and make him run and run and run and run and–

“Shadow?”

The woman’s voice brought him back to the present. He didn’t know how long he’d remained silent, but it was enough for her to return with a concerned look on her face. 

The ache in his side split him in two and he grimaced as he grasped his bandages. Another painful reminder that he was not back to full strength. 

Her eyes widened and she moved to check the bandage, carefully lifting it up to examine his wounds with a grimace. “Fuck,” She muttered and grabbed a rectangular device from her pocket. “Hey, Chrissy it’s me.”

She turns and Shadow sees fear in her eyes. 

“I have a favor to ask.”

Chapter Text

Tessa wasn’t sure what to make of the open gash on the hedgehog’s ribs, but one thing was for sure, it was getting worse.

And she didn’t know why.

She’d cleaned the wound and changed the bandages, but when she moved to check the injury after Shadow’s display of pain, a thick green liquid had started to bubble up, exacerbating the wound in a way she’d never seen before. 

Her only hope was that Chrissy knew something she didn’t, and that maybe this was somehow a hedgehog problem rather than an alien problem. 

Her gaze drifted toward the passenger sitting stiffly in the front seat of her Subaru Crosstrek, his brows perpetually furrowed. She was starting to think he had a serious case of RBF. Though, to be fair, so did she at times. 

He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, although she wasn’t sure he even knew what one was and kept eyeing the stereo, his bright red eyes moving from the screen on the dash to her phone in the cupholder, as though he could simply ascertain its purpose by watching it. 

“It’s Bluetooth,” She explained, resisting the urge to coo as he tilted his head like a dog encountering a sound he didn’t know. “It uses radio waves to connect with one another,” She explained, trying to recall her brother’s nerdy ramblings when he was trying to get their parents onboard with the new technology, “That way I don’t have to use a cord to connect the two.”

He continued to stare at the dashboard, “Is that why it plays this kind of music?”

Tessa looked at the song that was playing and smiled when she recognized the familiar beat. “No, this is from my own personal playlist.” She turned it up slightly, relaxing when he didn’t cover his ears or turn it back down like her siblings would.

Instead, his expression shifted slightly, although she’d yet to see a smile from him. “Do you like music?” She asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing. 

It was the most she’d gotten out of Shadow since their talk in the kitchen, where his memory loss was the first sign that something was seriously wrong with him. He was under the impression he’d hurt Tom, but her brother had been nowhere near the events that preceded Shadow’s crash to earth. 

She’d since put together that he’d been involved with both the incident in Tokyo and the situation in London, although she wasn’t quite sure how much damage he could do as a three foot hedgehog. Her mind flashed back to the red-orange lightning surrounding his quills the day she’d made the terrible decision to throw a snowball at him. Apparently quite a lot if his apology for supposedly hurting her brother was any indication. 

She knew GUN had been involved somehow as well, but that was all she was able to get before they cut off her access. Tom had even less information. 

Shadow seemed to think hard on her question before furrowing his brow once again, “I don’t know. I think I did, at one point. Ma-my friend used to play discs and dance to them.”

Tessa resisted the urge to ask any follow up questions. She could tell it had already taken a lot out of him to answer that one. 

Still, it was strange. He clearly knew what CDs were, as well as other earthly amenities if the way he’d stepped up to help her in the kitchen was any indication. 

She’d definitely have to file it away for later. 

But now, maybe it would help if he had something familiar to orient him. 

“Do you remember a specific song? Or…” 

Shadow flinched and her stomach clenched. Clearly, she’d gone too far. Rein it in, she reminded herself, meet him where he’s at and not the other way around.  

Silence hung over the two of them as she continued to drive down the highway toward the town proper, snow-capped evergreen trees turning into barren fields which would eventually turn into colorful townhouses and brightly painted buildings. 

Knowing she still had a good fifteen minutes before reaching town, she turned up the music and quietly began to sing along as it switched over from Taylor Swift to Sabrina Carpenter. 

She fully expected Shadow to roll his eyes or let out a small huff, but found herself pleasantly surprised when she caught him tapping his finger against his arm along to the beat. 

Her smile grew wider, but she didn’t say anything, just relishing in the moment as she continued to drive and sing until she pulled into the small, empty parking lot of the veterinary clinic. 

The building itself was painted an inviting blue, with the same white trim with the rest of the buildings in town and a white sign with carefully painted letters designating its location. 

Normally, it was closed on Sundays, along with the rest of the busy establishments, but thankfully, Chrissy had been willing to come in on her day off. 

Of course, she didn’t exactly tell her why, just explained she had a stray in need of some care. 

She decided against telling her that the stray in question was an anthropomorphic hedgehog from outer space.

The look on Chrissy’s face as she walked into the empty clinic with Shadow close behind told her this was a correct decision. 

“Please tell me this is a joke,” She snarked with an arched brow and crossed arms, staring at the black and red hedgehog standing at Tessa’s side with a matching expression, “Please tell me this isn’t the stray ‘dog’ you needed me to look at.”

Tessa turned to look at Shadow, the hedgehog meeting her gaze with a skeptical brow, although she swore she could see the slightest bit of nervousness in the red of his irises. Then she turned to look at Chrissy, the south asian woman glaring at her former roommate, impatiently waiting for an answer.

Tessa sent her an apologetic smile with a shrug, “He’s a rescue?”

Chrissy blinked, her lips turning down into an even deeper frown. 

She blew out a sigh and turned toward the vet with a hand on her hip, “Look, can you help him or not?”

Chrissy looked between Tessa and Shadow and bit down her lip. “Fine, get him up on the table.” 

“Have I told you how much I love and appreciate–”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chrissy waved her compliment away as she pulled out her stethoscope and began to take Shadow’s pulse. “Don’t thank me yet, I’m only doing this because you promised to be my plus one to George’s wedding.”

Tessa resisted the urge to grimace at the favor she’d traded for the check-up. “Yeah, I know. How’s that going by the way?”

“Oh you mean my ex-fiance’s fiance inviting me to be her bridesmaid because she’s the nicest person in the entire world and I can’t say no?” Tessa’s eyes widened at the latest bit of information her friend had just dropped on her. No wonder she was more upset than usual, “Yeah, it’s going great, having such a swell time.”

Instead of responding, Tessa turned her attention back to Shadow, who was staring at the vet with a furrowed brow, eyeing her teal scrubs and the punny cat posters hanging on the office wall behind her. She watched as Shadow did as he was told unflinchingly, like a soldier following orders.

It was unnerving how quickly he acquiesced to Chrissy’s request, the same tight look written into his face as when she changed his bandages back at the cabin.

She recognized it better than most.

Shadow’s muscles tensed as Chrissy moved to remove the bandage, grabbing some antiseptic and cleaning the wound. Tessa watched as her friend’s expression shifted from awe to barely concealed disgust, and she was glad the hedgehog couldn’t see her from this angle. 

“What’s his name?” Chrissy asked as she pulled off her gloves and moved back to Tessa’s side. 

“Shadow,” She spoke quietly, unsure how Chrissy would react if she found out he could talk to. Unfortunately, she didn’t have to wait very long to find out. 

“And does he have any other…medical history I need to worry about?” The vet sighed, clearly in disbelief at everything that had transpired. 

“No.” He grumbled, body stiffening at the question. 

Chrissy’s eyes widened and she turned to face Tessa with raised brows, “He talks?”

“Not a lot,” She explained, “But yeah, he does.”

Chrissy let out another sigh and forced herself to meet Shadow’s eyes, “Alright, Shadow, I need to draw some blood from your arm, is that okay?”

He said nothing and simply stretched out his arm in silence, muscles tight but expectant as he gestured to where his vein was. Chrissy stabbed the needle in and drew out a thick green liquid, causing both women to stare open mouthed and wide-eyed at the alien blood in the syringe. 

“Okay,” Tessa uttered in barely concealed awe, “That’s not…normal Right?”

Chrissy’s mouth opened and closed as she gathered her thoughts, “I’ve definitely never seen an animal with this kind of blood before.” Her gaze remained fixated on the syringe, “Tessa, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Tessa sent a reassuring look toward Shadow before following Chrissy out of the office, the veterinarian letting out a sigh and scratching her forehead, clearly trying to keep her composure. “Well, his wound is clearly infected, although I think the better question is what the fuck did you bring into my clinic?”

She grimaced, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“I already don’t believe you, so you might as well tell me.”

Tessa blew out a deep sigh and shot a look through the clinic window at the desolate hedgehog on the squishy table, legs dangling over the edge like he was nothing more than a child instead of an alien lifeform from space that could kill her at any second. “He fell out of space and landed in my backyard.”

Chrissy blinked, knitting her brows together. “Don’t tell me–”

“I told you–”

“You dragged an alien into my clinic?!” Chrissy whispered through gritted teeth, grasping her arm and pulling her closer.

“First of all, he doesn’t like to be called an alien–”

“That is so not important right now–”

“And second,” Tessa interrupted with a small smile, trying to ignore the tight grip around her bicep. “You’re being remarkably cool about this, all this considered–”

A blur of red and black knocked the door right off its hinges and in a blink of an eye, Chrissy was halfway across the hallway, one gloved hand against her throat, the other balled into a fist and crackling with red-orange energy. 

“Get your hands off her.” Shadow’s voice rumbled in her chest, shaking the very foundation of the building they were in. 

The force of the speed had knocked Tessa off her feet, “Shadow, don’t–”

“I saw it,” He snarled, “She was hurting you.”

“No, she wasn’t,” Tessa stood up and rushed over to help her friend, freezing in place when she caught sight of his glowing red eyes, “We were just talking and it got a little intense–”

“Tessa–” Chrissy choked out, clawing at the hedgehog’s hand powerlessly.

The lights began to flicker and she knew she didn’t have much time. 

Something deep in her stomach twisted at the sight of life slowly leaving her friend, “Shadow, STOP!”

His grip relaxed, and Chrissy dropped to the floor. 

Tessa rushed over to her friend and the lights returned to normal, “Are you okay?”

The vet let out a hoarse cough and nodded slowly, her eyes fixated on the black and red animal standing before her. 

Shadow stumbled back, eyes wide as he surveyed the scene, panic swirling in his irises as they shifted from bright red to a dark maroon. Her stomach sank as she realized what was running through his mind. 

“Shadow–”

He blinked out of existence. 

He doesn’t know how she found him so easily. Shadow’s early scouting of the town made it so he knew every hiding spot, every nook and cranny for him to escape to if necessary. 

Yet somehow she’d found him. 

Shadow caught sight of her leaning against her silver car in the distance, the clouds gathering above her signalling the coming storm. 

He hadn’t meant to attack. The doctor who’d been treating him had been nicer than he was expecting and while the clinic didn’t resemble the lab at all, he still hadn’t managed to shake the nervous trepidation inside his chest as he entered one of the rooms. 

His senses had gone off when she’d taken Tessa off to the side, clearly agitated with the whole scheme. And just for a moment, as he looked through the wide window at both of them, he was back in the lab, white coats trying to tell Maria she needed to let Shadow be, that she was distracting him from more important work. 

That she needed rest and so did Shadow. 

And then the woman tightened her grip around Tessa’s arm and refused to let go, pulling her close with an angered expression and suddenly he was off the table and smashing through the door, one hand pinning the doctor against the wall and the other ready to strike. 

A rush of anger coursed through his veins, electrifying his quills and setting the lights off from the sheer power of his chaos energy. 

It was only when Tessa had yelled at him to stop, he finally caught sight of the look on her face. 

She was scared. 

Not just for her friend, but of him.

It had sent him stumbling, his mind reeling as he watched the scene switch once again, Tessa leaning over her friend’s body horribly reminiscent of one of the few memories within reach. 

MARIA!

TOM!

A fragile hand in his, their body unmoving as a small figure crouched over the human. His heart began to race, palpitating in his chest as he searched for any way out. His chest tightened, hand squeezing the white fur as if it would help dull the pain.

As soon as he’d teleported out, he’d ran the length of the city, nearly out of breath by the time he reached the beach, trying and failing to regain it with each passing moment. 

Tessa had given him another chance with the revelation he hadn’t hurt her brother, but now there was no hope for him. 

It was over. 

She saw him the way everyone saw him, and he knew there was no coming back from that.

The sun disappeared and he caught sight of a grey mass of clouds. He quickly sought shelter under one of the docks, stiffening when he’d heard the familiar roar of an engine. 

And now here she was, no doubt ready to turn him over to the authorities. 

He wasn’t sure why he cared. 

He hardly knew her. Yet something deep inside his chest seemed truly afraid of losing the small connection he’d made with this lone human.

She’d given him coffee, sang along to music he didn’t know, and offered a way to treat his wounds. It was a kindness he’d rarely been extended. That must be what he was so afraid of losing. 

She was just the conduit. 

It was better this way, he told himself, drawing his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Creatures like him were meant to be alone, and the sooner he learns to be independent, the better. 

It was the only way to survive. 

His ears twitched at the sound of footsteps in the sand.

“Shadow?” 

He tensed, despite the softness in her voice. 

Shadow refused to meet her gaze, knowing it would only lead to the return of that stirring of guilt, the emotion clawing its way back up from his gut to a painful spike behind his chest. He gripped his hands tighter as she collapsed next to him, mirroring his pose. 

“Are you alright?” The tenderness in her voice was meant to soothe the blow, but all it did was cause the ache to flare up. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and made the choice himself. “I won’t stay.” He forced the words to sound as indifferent as they could. “I won’t…bother you anymore.”

Silence hung over the two of them for a brief moment. 

“If that’s what you want.” Was all she said. But it sounded off. He was sure he was imagining it, but she almost sounded…sad at his decision. 

No. It was all in his head. 

“Isn’t that what you want?” He nervously turned to face her, shocked when the fear in her eyes was all but gone, replaced with the same quiet concern he’d seen around the dining table that morning. 

She pulled her brows forward and twisted her lips into a frown, “What I want is to understand why you attacked Chrissy back there.”

His breath caught in his throat. Was this some kind of trick? Didn’t she see how dangerous he was? But all he saw when he looked at her was genuine curiosity.

Curiosity. That was all he’d seen in her eyes since he woke up. 

It’s what he saw in Maria’s eyes everytime her face flashed in his mind. 

“I–I didn’t mean to.” He finally confessed, the weight pressing against his chest disappearing once he’d spoken the words.

It was odd. The scientists never cared about why Shadow did things, only the result of his actions. “I thought she was–”

“--Hurting me.” Tessa finished with a nod. 

Shadow hung his head in shame. 

“Why did you think she was hurting me?”

He drew his brows down into a frown, a familiar pain blooming across his chest at the question. He knew why. But still it hurt that the one memory he was forced to relive over and over again was the one he wished he could forget. 

Red clouded his vision, a familiar crackling making his quills stand on edge as the scene played out in his mind again and again and again and–

A hand found his knee and he softened at the touch. His shoulders sagged and a familiar ache began to spread through his body, weighing down his eyelids. Chaos, he was tired. 

A drop of water hit his cheek and he looked up to see fresh rain pouring out of the skies. 

Maria always liked rain. 

His chest twisted once again. 

“I had a friend once,” Shadow rasped out, barely able to be heard over the sound of the droplets above them. “Her name was Maria.” The lump in the back of his throat grew larger and larger, and when he went to open his mouth, all he felt was the heat of his own tears and the strangulation of his vocal chords. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t save her.” His hands clenched themselves into tight fists and he squeezed his eyes shut.

MARIA!

“I thought…when I saw–”

He was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping themselves tightly around him. Shadow froze. She moved to pull away and he clung to her arm, pressing his face deeper against her torso, relishing in the warm shelter against the rain. 

He feels her cheek against his fur and tightens his embrace. He thinks back to the last time he was held like this and nestles deeper.

And for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to think of Maria. 

Chapter Text

Their first stop on their way back from the beach was the Veterinary clinic, where Shadow found himself mumbling out a quick apology to the brown-skinned woman he’d attacked. She wasn’t nearly as forgiving as Tessa, and he didn’t expect her to be. 

She treated him exactly as the scientists in the lab had and kept him at a wide berth as she graciously accepted his apology but warned him not to pull any more stunts like that again. Tessa was her friend, but that didn’t mean Shadow was. 

Finally, something familiar.

He watched with a careful eye as Tessa and the veterinarian–Christine, the nametag read–continued to look at the vial of blood and discuss what needed to be done with his wound. It ached every time he moved, but it was manageable. 

None of his injuries were impeding his ability to move, although he could tell from the look on the two humans’ faces that their view differed from his. 

Tessa’s brows were creased and her lips dipped into a small frown as she crossed her arms. The doctor leaned against the counter in the room, her eyes flickering over to him from time to time. 

He refused to look away.

It seemed to intimidate her enough to cause her to avert her gaze. 

A few minutes later and they were back in the vehicle, a harsh silence hanging over the two of them while Shadow stewed in silent shame and a pit of his own grief. 

The dull pain in the back of his chest hadn’t gone away since he’d landed, although it had momentarily subsided in the embrace of the woman beside him. Almost as soon as he’d realized this fact, it was replaced with the clawing of guilt against the muscle called his heart.

He was rattled from his thoughts when the vehicle came to a stop in front of a bright pink building trimmed with lace and pastels.

He resisted the urge to pull a face as Tessa stepped out of the car, following her with a confused expression as he passed wired tables and chairs fenced in by white metal on the concrete. He shivered as they entered the building, the cold air sending his quills standing up as he examined his surroundings. 

Black and white tile lined the floors with brightly colored teal leather seats stood empty at metal tables. No one was in the building except for a girl dressed in a bright pink apron and a teal visor with a dull look in her eyes. 

“Welcome to The Scoop Shop, where every scoop is made with love and—oh thank god, it’s you.” 

Tessa smirked as she moved closer to the counter, “Afraid I was Mr. Taylor?” 

The girl let out a small chuckle, and Shadow froze as he got a better look at her. Her blonde hair was tied in two braids on either side of her head and for a brief moment she was replaced with the same face he’d been haunted by for the last fifty years. 

Fifty years. 

And yet it still felt as fresh as the night it happened. 

“He’s been on my ass lately,” The girl continued, sliding open one half of an enormous freezer that spanned the whole width of the shop, “Mint Chocolate, right?”

Tessa smiled and nodded, “Yep, and one for my friend here as well.” She gestured towards Shadow and he froze as the girl turned to face him. 

He swore he saw Maria staring right back at him. 

The mirage was broken when she opened her mouth to speak, “Whatever.”

Tessa arched a brow, her smirk growing wider as she met the girl’s dead-eyed stare, “That’s it? No questions?”

“You and I both know I don’t get paid enough for this shit.” 

Tessa chuckled, and Shadow inched closer to the freezer, several barrel drums of what appeared to be food of some kind with assorted colors. He watched as the girl grabbed a spoon and scooped out two balls of bright green cream dotted with chocolate on a conical surface. 

Shadow furrowed his brow and watched as Tessa grabbed a plastic spoon and began to eat the strange-shaped food. 

It looked like something Maria told him about once. His throat threatened to close up as he heard her giggle deep in the back of his mind, but he clenched his fist and pushed through the sensation, focusing on the labels in front of him. 

Each barrel was given different names reflecting the color and pattern swirling within, like Rainbow Sherbert and Moose Tracks–the very thought that humans could eat the tracks moose leave behind was disgusting to him–but settled on a familiar light brown color named ‘Espresso’. 

When Tessa handed him his cone, he simply stared at the monstrosity before grabbing a spoon and following her lead. 

Cold shocked his mouth, followed by the unique sensation of it melting away just as quickly. The thick texture chilled his teeth and electrified his taste buds the same way the beans did, but it wasn’t nearly as strong. 

It tasted sweeter too, and he could only have so much of it before he needed to take a break. He looked over at the woman he came with, who was somehow miraculously nearly done with the frozen cream. 

She was sat at one of the metal tables, biting into the cone and slurping up the rest. Tessa smiled as Shadow sat down across from her, carefully studying her every move. 

“It’s good isn’t it?” He said nothing, but began to mirror her movements and found that it went down easier when he did. “Nothing better than a good ice cream after a rough day.”

Ice Cream.

That was the name of the treat in his hand. 

It vaguely sounds familiar. 

He thinks Maria may have mentioned missing it after she was sequestered in the lab. He doesn’t recall many of the details. 

But he understands now why she missed it. Just as he understands what the woman across from him is trying to do. He creased his brow and stared at the ice cream in his hand. Was it all an elaborate ploy? A way to lull him in again in order to gain access to his weaknesses and vulnerabilities?

His eyes met hers and he remembered the moment under the dock and relaxed his quills. “Do you have a lot of rough days?” He asks instead. 

Shadow sees something flicker in the depth of her eyes. “Yeah,” Her smile fades, “I do.” 

He doesn’t know how, but he knows she means it. 

“Does it ever go away?” He finds himself asking. 

A pause hangs quietly in the air, descending over the two as Shadow scans her face for answers. It is creased in a way he hasn’t seen before and a sad smile spans her lips. He recognizes the look. 

It is one Maria wore well. 

He averts his gaze.

“No.” She chokes out. “But things like this help,” Tessa gestured to the ice cream in her hand. Shadow looks at the one in his. It drips down his cone onto his leather gloves and he takes another bite. The stickiness against his hand sent his quills standing on edge. He grabs a napkin and wipes it clean before it can get worse. 

He admitted the ice cream was delicious and the pit in his stomach had slightly subsided, but was this really the way humans took care of themselves? Was this really all she had to look forward to in order to keep the emptiness at bay?

As if reading his thoughts, she continues on, “It doesn’t work all the time. It’s not easy, either.”

“So why do you do it?”

She tilts her head at his question and there he sees it once again. Sympathy. “Spite, mostly,” Tessa shrugged, a small smirk on the edge of her lips. 

That much he can understand. 

He thinks of all the GUN agents still alive and almost smiles when he realizes he will outlive them all. It fades when he realizes he already has.

“But, I mean, happiness has to be out there, right?” Tessa continues to muse, her leg shaking the table as she jiggles it up and down. “Besides, what else can I do?”

Her eyes shine and Shadow finds himself finally looking at the woman across from him for the first time since he woke up. 

There is a heaviness to her frame he recognizes, a weight she carries that is horribly familiar. It makes his chest twist and he thinks perhaps there is a reason behind why she has been so kind to him. 

His ears twitch as she mumbles, “It’s not like I haven’t been trying.”

Shadow freezes, his hands clenching themselves into fists at her blasé attitude. 

Do it! I’m right here!

They uncurl almost immediately. 

A moment passes and her frown is replaced by the same smile she always wears, except this one is duller and doesn’t reach the edges of her eyes.

Shadow can feel the range of emotions working themselves across his face. Confusion into sympathy into worry into understanding. 

I have good days and bad days, a feminine voice echoes inside his head. Today’s a bad day, Shadow. 

He follows her out of the ice cream shop with a thoughtful look on his face. 

For a brief moment she pauses outside the driver’s side window, meeting Shadow’s gaze as he remains stationary right outside the door of the shop. “You coming?”

The question holds a weight Shadow has never considered before. 

She is giving him a choice. 

His mind returns back to the moment on the beach, the slow way he’d fallen into the kind embrace of the woman now looking at him. The endless forgiveness she’d shown him since he’d arrived in a ball of flame and ash in her backyard. 

He blinks and the conversation plays in the back of his head. 

Do you have a lot of rough days? Yeah, I do. 

Today’s a bad day Shadow.

He says nothing, but follows her into the vehicle and belts himself in. 

She says nothing either, and turns the music up louder. 

Not for the first time that day, Tessa wonders what goes on in the mind of the weird little hedgehog beside her. 

This morning he was frightened and kept her at arm’s length and just a few moments ago he’d fallen into pieces in her arms. It was almost like watching over a child. One minute they would be ignoring you and asking for space, the next they would be snuggling in your arms asking for comfort. 

Shadow, she realized, was no different than her niece or nephew. 

He was also grieving, if what he said on the beach was true. He’d lost a friend, his best friend, if his emotional reaction at the vet clinic was any indication. 

He thought she was in danger. 

He thought she was Maria. 

She wonders what this elusive girl was like. Her eyes dart over to the hedgehog in her passenger seat, who is fiddling with the radio with a furrowed brow. He relaxes when he finds an old station playing Bob Dylan and Billy Joel. 

Was that the kind of music Maria liked? What about her interests? Was she a huge science nerd or more of a creative soul? Was she a prankster, or more serious like her animal counterpart?

What did she look like?

Like her? 

Tessa shook the thought from her head as she turned down the street, trying to focus on the task at hand. Shadow had decided to take her up on her offer for the time being, which meant she was now feeding two on an income of none. 

Her emails and phone remained silent as ever, and not a single application had been accepted. Most of them, in fact, had been rejected instead. 

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She could deal with that later, right now she had more important things to deal with. 

Pulling into the grocery store parking lot, she was thankful for the small amount of cars she saw. She wasn’t sure how people would react if Shadow came in with her, but at the same time she didn’t want to leave him alone. Especially because the whole trip was to find some things he liked as well. 

Coffee was a must, she now knew. As were pancakes, but she had nothing else to go off of. 

Tessa unbuckled her seatbelt and turned toward the hedgehog beside her, who was staring at the building with the same confused look he’d worn all day. 

“What is this place?” He asks, his deep voice always catching her off guard when she hears it. She feels like it should be higher, but it also fits him in some ways. 

“It’s a grocery store,” she explained, nonchalantly turning off the car and grabbing her wallet, “we’re gonna pick up some food for you and for me.” 

“I do not need food” 

“Great,” She ignored the hedgehog’s indifferent tone and stepped out of the car, “Makes the trip that much faster and cheaper.”

Her words are curt and short, but her mind is too filled with thoughts she is trying to ignore to pay attention to them.

Despite his words, he followed after her, skeptical eyes examining everything as they walked through the sliding doors. She grabbed a cart and began to weave her way through the small aisles, ignoring the looks from the older folks of the town. They eyed Shadow like he was some kind of experiment–which he probably was–and rolled them when they landed on her. Tessa was well aware of how the town of Emerald Coast saw her. 

She was the weird loner girl who lived by herself outside of town and only came in when she needed something. Never participated in town festivals or events, nor did she contribute to the volunteer efforts outside of the hospital and the animal shelter.

She was just grateful she didn’t run into Mr. Taylor, who no doubt would’ve had some choice words for her new houseguest. 

“They’re all staring at me.” Shadow muttered under his breath, dripping with barely hidden hate. 

Tessa shot a look over her shoulder as she tossed more pancake mix in the cart. 

A group of women in their fifties were whispering and pointing rather obviously at the two of them and Tessa’s eyes narrowed when she caught sight of a red-headed woman at the head of the pack, every bit of her sneer pointed their way. 

“Ignore them,” She advised Shadow, who simply turned to look at her with a confused expression, “Mrs. Jameson and her band of merry bitches judge anything that doesn’t fit in with their perfect ideal.”

Shadow creased his brow, “But I am the Ultimate Life Form.” 

Tessa blinked, not quite sure what to say to that. Instead, she grabbed some Frosted Flakes and continued to make her way through the store, stopping when she saw Shadow was lingering behind in the breakfast aisle, staring at the wall of coffee beans. 

Smiling, she moved the cart back and leaned against it, trying to figure out what would catch his eye. “Do you have a preference?” She asked. 

Shadow flinched slightly at her sudden presence, but calmed when he realized who it was. “I didn’t know there were so many different types of coffee.”

“Oh there’s tons,” Tessa began to ramble, relying on the knowledge in the back of her mind which had laid dormant since she left her barista job, “Arabica is the most common type of bean, but there’s tons of blends you can play around with when it comes to taste.”

She pulled out her favorite brand and flipped it around to show the hedgehog, who was eyeing it curiously. “Mean Bean makes the best espresso beans, and they’re locally owned,” She continued, grabbing another bag, “Olympia has really good roasts, and Morning Sun is great if you like that chocolate-y taste. But in my opinion, you can never go wrong with a good Sumatra.” She held all three bags up, watching Shadow weigh each choice in his mind with crossed arms. 

When it was becoming increasingly clear that he couldn’t make a decision–-choice paralysis, she completely understood–she tossed all three bags in the cart and led him through the rest of the store. 

He froze for a moment as he stared at the bags of coffee, “Like, trying on clothes, right?”

Tessa smiled at the reminder of their conversation earlier that day, “Exactly.”

His shoulders relaxed and he followed her with slightly more energy in his step. 

From then on, whenever he stopped at something that caught his eye or drew his curiosity, she tossed it in. This included several bags of Doritos--including the spicy ones which were her favorite–as well as Snickers, a couple frozen pizzas, and surprisingly, Hot Pockets. 

She wasn’t about to argue, it was the first time all day she’d seen him wear something other than a frown on his face. He was engaged in the task at hand, examining the food with a scrutinizing eye like it was a difficult math problem. His ears twitched forward, drawing them closer together. It made her want to coo at how adorable it looked. 

Their last stop was at the produce section, where Tessa grabbed two bags of oranges after seeing the way Shadow looked at them. 

When she was positive they’d worked their way through the whole store, she looked at her haul with a slight wince. 

It was a lot of food, but she forced herself to eat the cost of it all. God, she needed a job and fast, unless she wanted to dip further into her savings. Not that she had much left anymore. 

Her grandfather had left her a little bit, but it wasn’t nearly enough to sustain herself. 

She forced herself to shove the bitterness stirring in her chest down at the realization that her brother probably ended up getting the most of it. 

It had stung when they’d told her, but she wasn’t exactly surprised. 

Her brother had always been the favorite anyway. 

Tessa pulled up to the self-checkout, but right as she was getting ready to swipe her card, the she-devils swooped in like they’d been summoned by her credit card debt. 

“You know, you can’t bring wild animals in here,” Mrs. Jameson’s shrill voice made her hair stand on end, and she swore she saw Shadow’s quills stand up as well. 

Tessa plastered the fakest smile on her face and turned to face the religious woman with all the passive aggression she could muster, “Sorry, Mrs. Jameson, I couldn’t quite hear you, what was that?”

The woman clicked her tongue as she turned toward the poor employee she’d wrangled in to do her dirty work, “Didn’t you see the sign?”

She pointed toward a dirty piece of paper taped to the sliding door window, a simple command written out in messy sharpie. 

NO PETS ALLOWED.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the poor seventeen year old with glasses too big for his face and hair that was way too long shuffled on his feet, “We’ll have to ask you and your…” His eyes drifted toward Shadow, who was staring him down with his patented furrowed brow and deep frown. The boy gulped, “...pet to leave.”

Tessa merely arched a brow, halfway through scanning her groceries like she hadn’t been minding her own business the entire time in the store. Struck with an idea that was morally and ethically wrong but just the right amount of petty she didn’t care, she turned to face the nervous boy playing manager for the day with a stern look. “Then I guess you’ll have to be the one to explain to Mr. Townsend why you’re now facing a lawsuit for discrimination.”

The boy’s eyes went wide and Mrs. Jameson’s smirk died. 

Tessa sent them a saccharine smile, “See,” She placed her hand directly on Shadow’s head, causing him to freeze up for a moment, “This is my emotional support dog, he helps me, as a person with extreme anxiety, with overwhelming tasks like getting out of bed or going to the grocery store.”

The boy’s face grew redder and redder. 

Shadow looked both of them directly in the eyes and uttered out a monotone “Woof.”

Tessa tilted her head, resisting the urge to smirk as Mrs. Jameson’s face grew more and more inflated, “Chrissy herself signed off on his training this morning.”

She swore she saw a vein pop out of the older woman’s forehead. 

The young employee clearly had no desire to get tangled up in a potential lawsuit, so he simply muttered out a quick apology and shoved the older woman away. He didn’t even make it five feet before she started yelling at him. 

Tessa swiped her card, grabbed her bags and slipped out of the building before Mrs. Jameson could confront her again. 

As she pulled out of the parking lot, she swore she saw Shadow smirk. 

Chapter Text

Shadow felt a sense of calm wash over him as Tessa pulled up to the cabin. The town, small as it was, was still too crowded for him. The moment at the grocery store had provided him with a small reprieve. He’d missed the small moments at the lab where he and Maria would do something that would confound the other scientists or leave them scrambling as the two would then make their escape to the stars. 

The Professor would always find them and make them promise never to do it again with a knowing twinkle in his eye. They would then repeat it the next day. 

The moment at the grocery store had brought him back to that sea of memories.

He was trying not to drown in it. 

The cabin made it easier. It held the solitary nature of the lab, yet was draped in a warmth he’d previously only associated with one other person. 

The drive back was long and winding, and Shadow found himself staring out at the endless trees and babbling river she drove past. The colors blurred together like one of the paintings he recalled Maria pointing out to him in one of her books. 

He recalls brief moments before he crashed. An explosion in the back of his mind, bright light searing his vision, a planet rent in two.

He finds himself glad it wasn’t Earth. His fondness for the planet is minute, but the scenery and the events of the day help him understand why Maria loved it so much. He only wished she could have experienced it again at her full strength. 

Guilt claws at his stomach and his ears droop. 

It was his fault she can't. 

Tessa pops open the back door and moves to grab all the bags in one fell swoop. It becomes quickly apparent she is unable to make the trek alone. He pushes aside the guilt at making her buy so much food for him and grabs several of the bags to lighten the load. 

Despite her protests that he was still injured, Shadow lifted the bags with ease and followed her into the kitchen. He watched as she methodically put things away. Everything had a place. It was comforting to Shadow. 

At the lab it was the same way. Everything, everyone had a place and purpose and it made everything simpler. He was an object to be studied. A weapon to be used. Maria was the only one who thought he could be more. 

You can be anything you want, Shadow.  

He was pulled out of the memory with the sharp sound of a knife on a cutting block. When he looked up, Tessa was handing him an orange slice. 

Shadow eyed the fruit and the dull pain in his chest began to ache once more. 

Shadow, look at me! a voice echoed in the back of his mind. An image of Maria with an orange peel in the place of her smile flashed across his vision. A soft giggle faded away and Shadow felt his mouth twitch upward slightly. 

“Now there’s something I haven’t seen before,” Tessa’s tone was light and teasing, and he immediately felt his muzzle turn pink.

He forced himself to frown, but was disappointed to find his muscles refused to cooperate with him. “What’s got you so happy?”

Shadow eyed the woman across from him, weighing the consequences of telling her more about Maria. No one else except the Professor could fully understand the pain he felt. The sharpness in his throat every time he thought to talk about her. 

He couldn’t even say her name without choking. 

But then he remembered the moment at the beach, surrounded by crashing waves and endless rain that continued to pelt against the windows. She gently placed a mug of fresh coffee in front of him, and some of the harsh walls he’d constructed began to crumble. 

“Mar–” He stopped, clenching his hand into a fist before slowly allowing it to unravel, “My friend loved oranges. I was just remembering…” He trailed off, trying to ignore the spearing pain in the back of his throat that stopped him from saying anything further. 

Her face shifted into something more sympathetic and Shadow felt shame curl in his gut. He was the Ultimate Life Form. He shouldn’t be feeling any of this. 

Why on earth would the Professor give him such volatile emotions?

It didn’t make him an effective weapon. 

It was a vulnerability to be exploited. A weakness he could not afford. 

And here he was letting them rule him. 

“I lost my grandfather recently,” Tessa admitted, and Shadow found himself scanning her face. It was an almost mirror image of his own. “He was…everything to me. The only person who really knew me and liked me and didn’t judge me for my opinions or beliefs.” She swallowed harshly, “He actually encouraged me to pursue journalism, said there was nothing I couldn’t do.” 

A sad smile decorated her face. 

Shadow’s chest twisted. 

“He taught me everything I know, “ She continued, the sadness still present, but it was slowly being replaced with something else. Something Shadow couldn’t quite name. “I mean, we would read together, watch movies together…” She trailed off with a fond look in her eyes. “Sometimes,” She chuckled softly, “I’ll even call and leave voicemails on his personal phone when I’m having a hard day. Just to hear his voice again.”

Shadow gulped. 

A brief pause hung over both of them. 

“Maria used to show me movies,” He managed to slowly choke out. His chest constricted with each word, but he found it easier to speak when someone was there to listen. “Does it help? Talking about them after they’re gone?”

Tessa nodded, with the same sad smile on her face. Shadow met her wide-eyed gaze, glassy eyes staring at him with a subdued curiosity.

“What was she like?”

“She was kind,” was the first thing he found himself saying. “And fun. When we first met, she drew a bunny where my face was in the stasis chamber.” A small smile began to form on his face, “Thought my frown was…funny.” To his surprise, Tessa chuckled along with him. Slowly, the knot in his stomach began to unravel. “She always saw the best in people,” He felt his ears begin to droop along with the rest of him. He stared at his reflection in the coffee cup, “Even those who didn’t deserve it.”

A hand wrapped around his, drawing his attention back toward the woman who’d drawn the words out of him. “She sounds like she was an amazing person.” 

Something wet hit his cheek, and Shadow’s lips twitched upward at the statement. “She was.”

An explosion echoed in his mind and his grip tightened, “She taught me everything I know about Earth. Used to take me outside and we’d look at the stars until the sun came up. Or GUN found us. Whichever happened first.”

“GUN?”

Shadow tensed and mentally cursed himself for slipping up. He was getting too comfortable. It was a danger. He pulled his hand away and back toward his mug. “The military organization that found me.” He spat out.

“Oh, say no more,” Tessa curled her lips at the mention of the military, refusing to conceal her disgust. Shadow found himself relaxing at the gesture. “Of course the US would have a branch of the military called ‘GUN’” She scoffed, placing her mug in the sink, “God, they are not subtle at all.” Tessa leaned back against the counter, turning her attention back toward Shadow, “Sorry, continue.”

But the image was broken. The knot was back in his stomach, wound so tight he wasn’t sure if it would ever unravel again. Instead, he was flooded with images of orange and red chaos energy expounding out of delicate glass cases and ripping through the ARK, leaving nothing in its path.

He’d learned what death was that day, and he’d promised GUN that and more when he’d awoken. 

But he never did. Instead he was found in a crater in the backyard of the woman who was now looking at him the same way Maria had. 

What had happened to his vengeance?

And why didn’t it feel like his only goal anymore?

Blue blurred his vision for a moment and those emerald eyes danced across his mind once more. 

“What happened before I crashed?” He found himself asking. 

Tessa blew out a sigh and crossed her arms. Almost as though she was giving herself a hug. “Fuck, I mean…” She sighed again. “No one really knows. The news said Tokyo was nearly destroyed by a weapon of mass destruction, but I don’t believe that.” Shadow’s ears perked up at that. “And then, the whole…” She made a weird gesture with her hands, like she was pulling something out of the ground, “I mean, a full-ass weapon rose from the Thames river with two Eggmen somehow in charge of it--”

Shadow creased his brow, “Eggmen?”

“Oh, that’s what the news called them.” Tessa spoke matter-of-factly, “Their real names were Ivo and Gerald Robotnik.” Shadow froze. “And one of them nearly caused a whole town in Montana to be wiped off the map.”

Robotnik. 

Like Maria. 

The Professor. 

He was still alive? 

“To be honest, it took me all of my resources to find their names,” Tessa continued with a deep exhale, “Burned every source, every last favor I had and then…" She paused and clenched her jaw, "I was fired for it.” 

Shadow blinked. 

“I was this close to breaking that story wide open,” Tessa squeezed her fingers together, a small space between them. 

“Fire you?”

“It means I lost my job.” She spoke softly, her shoulders drooping with the rest of her frame, “Right as I was about to figure out what the hell was going on.”Something panged in the back of Shadow’s chest, “GUN probably had something to do with it,” She muttered to herself, “Government agencies and cover-ups and all that jazz.” 

It wouldn’t surprise him. Shadow knew better than anyone how good GUN was at covering up secrets they didn’t want to get out. 

Suddenly a flood of images he didn’t recognize came back to him. 

Professor, are you sure this is what Maria would have wanted?

The question isn’t what Maria would have wanted, It’s what do they deserve?

When we’re done, there won’t be anything left to rule.

That’s dark even for you.

Good one, Hot Topic--You’re a colorful bunch–Let us talk with our fists--What did you do?--TOM!--MARIA!--Don’t you talk about my family–What was his name? Tom--They want to take Shadow away from us, Maria–STOP! Those are children–You were right about one thing–What I had to–This. Ends. Now. 

Shadow was running. 

He didn’t know how it had started, but he was too far away now to look back. 

His head felt as though it had split in two and while somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear the distant calls of his name, it was overpowered by the images in his head. 

Blue and yellow and pink and black and white and red and blue and blue and blue and blue and blue and–

Shadow came to a stop atop the large mountain he’d seen in the distance. 

The wind cut through like a knife and he found himself surrounded by a sea of snow as flakes fell gently against his fur. 

It was only then the gravity of what he’d done finally settled over him. 

His breath caught in his throat, the patch of white fur heaving up and down and up and down as his vision slowly cleared. 

What was that? 

Who was that?

Why was all he remembered blue?

If the Professor was alive, why didn’t he come for Shadow?

Why wasn’t he here now?

Shadow turned his gaze toward the skies. The bright pink and red clouds obscured his vision of the stars he once knew, and the heaviness returned. 

Even the sky had changed. 

Once he got his bearings, Shadow returned to the cabin with his tail between his legs and his head in his hands.

He stopped just outside the back door, staring at the warm cabin with a sinking feeling in his chest. A soft noise caught his attention and he turned to see a stray cat drinking out of a saucer of milk. It was the same black color as his fur, and stared at him with bright green eyes. 

It meowed softly before immediately rubbing itself against his legs. 

He was surprised to find himself soothed by the animal’s presence, glad that not everything here seemed to treat him with disdain and barely concealed fear. 

The door was unlocked and Shadow slowly crept back into the kitchen with a sheepish look on his face. Tessa was nowhere to be found and all four chairs around the table were missing. He felt his stomach clench at the sight. A voice in the back of his head whispers that perhaps she’d simply had enough. Perhaps she didn’t appreciate those she offered kindness to abandoning her mid-conversation. 

A small rustling could be heard from the living area, causing his ear to twitch. 

Shadow froze when he moved toward the sound. 

“Oh, hey you’re back!” Tessa smiled as she tossed a pillow onto the ground. “You scared me there for a minute.”

He scanned the room, a rush of memories flooding his memory as he took in the scene. 

The many blankets that decorated the living area were now draped over chairs and clotheslines in a familiar shape, pillows and couch cushions and stuffed animals gathered around a small mattress in the middle of the room. The lights that decorated the cabin were now strung inside what Shadow recognized as a blanket fort. And there, right in the middle, lay boxed pizza and two giant bowls of popcorn. 

“Figured both of us could use a movie night,” She said, trying and failing to hide her yawn, “But honestly, if you just want to catch some sleep in the guest room, I can get that set up for you too–”

“Movie night sounds good.” He replied, the knot in his stomach unraveling once again. A relieved smile crossed Tessa’s face. 

He found himself returning it. 

“Good, cause I have one you definitely need to see. It’s one of my favorites and a classic.” She replied, falling back into the den of pillows and blankets with a smile. Shadow tucked himself in beside her, the mattress not as soft as he imagined. It was as though he was laying down on a very firm bubble. Tessa grabbed the soft blue blanket and brought it around both of them as they lay with their backs against the couch. 

The pizza lay on top of the blankets, with a thick stack of paper plates holding down the cardboard flap. Shadow reached for the greasy food, relishing in the taste of real food in his mouth. 

He watched as Tessa pulled out what he now knew was a remote and clicked on a movie she told him was the first of three. At first, he thought they were watching Star Wars again, but as the opening scenes began to unfold, he saw that it was in fact, something completely different. 

His eyes darted over to the girl beside him, who remained entranced by the battle scene unfolding on the screen. 

Shadow wasn’t sure how to feel about the movie yet, but he decided he would try his best to remain engaged. After all, he’d hated that monster movie Maria showed him, but watched it for her. And yet, as the movie continued, he found himself slightly intrigued, although it wasn’t as immediate as it had been with Luke and his story. 

This was more fantastical and magical. 

No science or space in sight. 

He furrowed his brow as the girl beside him wore a smile wider than anything he’d ever seen and turned his full attention to the movie as he chewed his pizza. 

A curly haired human approached a moving cart and crossed his arms with a disapproving smirk. 

“You’re late.” 

A man in grey robes and a grey hat peered out through the screen. “A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.”

Shadow relaxed into the back of the couch with a handful of popcorn, where he remained in blissful contentment as the movie unfolded. 

When he awoke the next morning, curled underneath her arm and buried in blankets, pillows and popcorn, he felt more at ease than he had in the last fifty years. 

Chapter Text

Since their Lord of the Rings marathon, Tessa had taken to spending every night with Shadow in the blanket fort, watching movies and television shows and catching up on everything they’d missed. 

After they’d finished the Return of the King, Tessa decided it was about time he watched the Star Wars movies, to which he sheepishly replied that he’d seen them from the comfort of the tree outside her window. So she’d settled on the prequel series instead, noticing how quickly Shadow had grown attached to Anakin. She couldn’t exactly blame him, from what it sounded like, he had a lot in common with the character. 

They’d had to take a break after the sand people scene in Attack of the Clones, after which she’d switched over to Grey’s Anatomy, where Shadow was criticizing every bit of the soap opera, but she could secretly tell he was enjoying it. 

He again admitted he’d watched the first few episodes from her tree when he was still camping out in the woods, although it didn’t intrigue him like Star Wars.

With every word he looked like he was preparing for a lecture or waiting for her to yell. 

She recognized the body language all too well. 

The hunched shoulders, the small flinch at every loud noise, it pinched her chest every time she saw it, so she made sure to never raise her voice around the hedgehog, even if he did some things that annoyed her. 

Like running away during a panic attack and leaving her to wonder if he was ever going to come back at all. 

However, since then, it was like Shadow was following her everywhere. Well, not everywhere, but it was strange to see the change in behavior so quickly. The first time she noticed it was when she’d stepped out of the shower one morning. 

She was getting ready for a potential interview in Seattle and decided she would actually put effort into her appearance for once. Muscle memory kicked in as she raked the product through her hair, jumping slightly as a dark figure appeared in the mirror. 

Shadow was eyeing her warily, but remained quiet as she scrunched her curls and grabbed the diffuser from the drawer. His eyes widened at the end of the hair dryer and moved closer as she began to dry her hair. 

Her lips twitched upward as an idea sprung into her head. 

Trying to hide the laughter bubbling up in her chest so Shadow wouldn’t catch on. Thankfully, his eyes seemed firmly focused on the diffuser.

She blasted him with a gust of hot air directly in his face, his fur rippling from the force of the heat. 

He stumbled back in surprise and grabbed his tiny black nose, letting out what sounded like a soft squeak.

Almost immediately she jumped into an apology, which was then ruined by the force of an elbow directly to her knee. She turned to face the hedgehog, who was now wearing a victorious smirk. 

She eyed the dirty water swirling down the tub and smirked before pushing him in. 

His fur and quills were drenched and his brows furrowed as he splashed her before pulling himself out. She had to tell him to stay home while she drove into the city, but the interview ended up being a wash anyway. 

Not only did they not offer the amount of money or benefits she was looking for, but the whole time her mind kept wandering back to the quilled animal she’d left alone for the first time since she found him. She trusted Shadow to not fuck up her entire house, but he was also an alien from space, so who could say?

It was kind of difficult to place her trust in anyone, let alone an alien she’d only known for a few days. But she was grateful when she arrived home and saw that very little was out of place. 

Her ‘Short and Sweet’ record was still playing and a bowl and spoon sat in the sink, an open bag of coffee beans on the counter. 

She smiled as she fixed her bookshelf of DVDs and games, the action movies pulled out and the rom-coms left alone. Shadow seemed to have a preference, she smirked.

A crash echoed through the house, followed by a grunt of frustration. 

Tessa snapped her head toward the direction of the sound and found it originated from the bathroom. 

When she opened the door, she could barely contain her laughter. 

What was a hedgehog was now a giant ball of fluffy fur with tightly drawn brows and a deep frown on his face. The hair dryer lay in a heap at his feet. 

It was oddly reminiscent of a chinchilla after it had been brushed. 

Her laughter broke free as his muzzle turned pink, and he sheepishly asked if she could help him with his fur. 

She gladly accepted and made a spa day of it, filling up the bath to get him washed and cleaned while she washed her face and threw on a mask. 

Slowly but surely, the streaks in his fur grew brighter and brighter until they were almost a cherry red, and the patch of fur on his chest turned from dark grey to bright white. She even saw red streaks on his arms and legs, stretching down to his pinky finger and pinky toes. 

Shadow shivered as Tessa poured the bathwater over him, but she could feel him relax at her touch, letting her scrub the skin under his fur with her shampoo and conditioner. When he was all done and dried off, they moved toward the living area, where Shadow asked if they could finish the prequels. 

As the Battle of Geonosis unfolded, Tessa grabbed a brush and a comb and began to detangle the hedgehog’s fur. An unfortunate side effect was the crazy shedding of his quills, each buzzing with orange energy as they fell. 

When she asked, he explained he was given the ability to control Chaos Energy, which was why he’d been studied and observed by GUN’s research team before he crash landed in her backyard. 

“So, you’ve been on Earth before?”

“I was placed into stasis fifty years ago,” He grumbled, his hand contracting itself into a fist. 

Tessa creased her brows at the information, “Wait, then how’d you end up in space?”

Shadow’s shoulders slumped, “I don’t know. I don’t remember anything of what happened before now.”

Her hand paused and Shadow’s shoulders tensed again. He relaxed once she began to gently pet the top of his head and scratch behind his ears. God, how terrifying that must be, she thought. No wonder he was so anti-social and scared. Not only was he struggling with the death of his friend, but everything was so different and unusual to him. 

It made his questions about what happened in Tokyo and London make more sense. 

She wasn’t quite sure what else to say, so they simply sat in silence as Padme and Anakin got married, followed quickly by the opening crawl of Revenge of the Sith. 

“Their laser swords are entirely impractical,” Shadow huffed, and she resisted the urge to smirk, “Guns make an infinitely better weapon in a war zone.”

“Well, the Jedi aren’t warriors,” She responded, parroting the line she’d heard so many times, “They’re peacekeepers. That’s why they carry around the lightsabers.”
Shadow remained quiet at that for a brief moment before asking, “What’s the difference?”

It suddenly dawned on her that he’d probably never learned the distinction, having grown up in a military science lab being poked and prodded for ways to make better weapons. 

She scooted down next to him, smiling softly at the earnest confusion in his burgundy gaze. “The Jedi only use violence as a last resort,” She explained, “They’re trained in negotiation, in using the Force to defend instead of attack.” Shadow’s gaze slowly began to swirl in understanding, “They don’t want to rule the galaxy, they want to protect it. They don’t let their emotions rule them.”

His ears drooped and he turned his gaze towards the television, which was showcasing the big fight between Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin, and Count Dooku to save the Emperor. “I don’t think I would make a very good Jedi.” Shadow admitted. 

Tessa’s chest pinched again and she lightly nudged his shoulders, “I’ll let you in on a little secret,” He turned to face her with a trace of fear in his gaze. She leaned in with a whisper, “Neither would I.”

The two shared a smile and she pressed play. 

She was awoken by a whimper. It was soft, but carried an intensity that caused her to stir. When she realized where it was coming from, she sat up immediately. Shadow was curled up against the back of her knee in a fetal position, flinching and spasming as his whimpers turned into groans which turned into one word that made her blood go cold. 

“Maria…”

Tessa’s hands hovered over the hedgehog, unsure about what she should do. 

He shook from the force of what was clearly a nightmare, mumbling and whimpering something indecipherable with each breath. 

She vaguely remembered hearing her grandma talk about her grandfather’s night terrors after his time in Saigon, but couldn’t quite pinpoint what exactly had helped him. 

But she did remember how their room was always filled with blunt objects with no point to them. And her grandfather’s guns were always hidden in the safe with a combination only her grandma and her dad knew. 

Tessa slowly stood up and began to remove anything that could possibly be used as a weapon, unplugging the lamps and anything with a sharp point. Her heart tugged as she watched Shadow clutch tightly to the blue blanket, pulling it closer around himself as his shaking turned to thrashing. 

Shit, she thought to herself, what does she do now?

“Ugh…no,” He mumbled, sounding more and more in pain, “Maria…” He growled, the sound rumbling in her chest as it grew louder and louder, “No…stop…MARIA!”

Unable to stand aside, Tessa pressed forward and began to shake him awake. “Shadow…Shadow, wake up, you’re having a bad dream.”

He continued to grunt and growl, his thrashing growing worse as his quills began to charge with Chaos Energy, burning her hands with each touch. She didn’t care, she needed to wake him up, now. 

“Shadow,” She continued to shake him, trying to be gentle but the chaos energy made it difficult. She pushed through the burning sensation in her hands and continued to try and wake him, “Shadow, wake up.”

A blast rattled the foundation of the house, ripping through the living room like an aftershock of an earthquake. Her back ached as she was thrown across the house into the dining room table and she barely had enough strength to lift her head and catch sight of Shadow now standing amongst the ruins of the blanket fort. 

His gaze meets hers and she sees his eyes widen. “Maria?” His voice quivers and when Tessa tries to correct him, a sharp pain bursts across her chest. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t feel like anything is broken, just bruised. What surprises her is how quickly Shadow rushes to her side, and she wonders who he sees. 

His quills rise in sharp anxiety as he scans her body, kneeling down beside her. Its only when she starts to stir, she feels the tension subside. 

“Shadow,” She manages to squeeze out, “Are you okay?” 

It sounds silly, to ask if he’s okay when she was the one who was blasted back by energy she’d only seen in science fiction movies and probably suffering from both a bruised back and sternum, but she could worry about herself later. 

He blinks and his gaze moves to her face. “Tessa.” 

She lets out a sigh of relief. 

He eyes the destruction with a clenched fist and sinks back onto his feet. “What happened?”

“You were having a bad dream,” She grimaced as she slowly sat up, the pain dulling slightly. It still hurt like a bitch though. “I tried to wake you, but…” She gestured toward the mess of blankets and popcorn littering the floor. 

Thankfully, nothing else seemed to be broken, which was probably due to her packing away any and everything fragile after Shadow moved in. She’d been around one too many dogs and cats that liked to play with her mother’s vases and trinkets. 

She was glad she did. 

His ears flattened along with his quills, a sign she was learning was indicative of embarrassment and shame. “I did this?” He asked quietly. She reached out to touch him, only to watch as he moved further away. “I did this.” Shadow repeated. It wasn’t a statement, nor a question. It was a confession. An admission of guilt. 

“Shadow–”

“Don’t,” He cuts her off with an angry snarl. She resists the urge to recoil, but lets her hand hang in the air. It’s only because she’s been where he is she’s able to push her defensiveness aside. But an ugly voice in the back of her head urges her to give him the silent treatment. It’s the same ugly voice that’s followed her since she was a child, the same ugly voice that tells her the world is better off without her. 

She’s sure that same voice is echoing in Shadow’s head right now. 

“For the last few days, you have been treating me better than I deserve,” He began. She could hear the tremble in his voice, “Like someone in need of protection.” His fists clenched and he drew his knees close to his chest, like he had the day by the beach. His forehead tensed and his jaw clenched, “But I am what you need protection from.”

A sharp pain speared her heart as the words dripped from his mouth. 

His sheer belief in his own capacity for destruction was overwhelming him. He was self-destructing. “I am a monster.”

She gulped. 

Shadow closed his eyes in quiet shame. 

“How?” Tessa choked out. 

He blinked and turned to face her, exactly like the morning they’d first met. “What?”

“How are you a monster?” She asks, like the proof of his destruction isn’t surrounding her. Shadow knits his brows in confusion and stares at the demolished blanket fort and the bruises forming on her arms and legs like the answer is self-evident. She simply shrugs, “My brother’s dogs and cats destroyed their couch and scratched them to hell, so tell me, how are you worse than them?”

He paused for a minute, as if weighing the question in his mind. She’d meant it when she said she’d seen worse from dogs and cats, especially in her time as a pet-sitter. The only difference was that Shadow harnessed a power never before seen on earth and came from outer-space. 

But yet, he seemed utterly convinced he was not only something beyond redemption, but an animal that actively needed to be put down. 

“We all mess up, Shadow,” She ignored the way he tensed up when she said his name, “One mistake doesn’t make you a monster.”

“It wasn’t one mistake.” He said with a solemn look on his face. 

She let the silence stand for a moment before following up with, “Then what was it?”

“The people I surround myself with have a tendency to get hurt.” He finally responded, shifting his face away from her. 

She’s heard that line before. She’s said that line before. 

Her therapist tells her its classic avoidant attachment. Pushing people away before they can get close. It’s easier to lie and say it's for their own good when the truth is, you just don’t want to get hurt again. 

She hates how right he was. How right he still is. 

But Tessa gets the feeling Shadow means it this time. And something instinctual tells her it has to do with the name he called out in his sleep. 

“Does it have to do with Maria?”

Shadow says nothing, but pulls himself tighter. 

Her stomach sinks at the non-answer, suspicions confirmed. 

Debating the consequences of what might happen if she decides to confide in a hedgehog from outer space, Tessa bites down on her cheek and lets out a sigh. 

“When I was a kid, I sent my brother to the hospital.” She admits, cringing at the memory and drawing Shadow’s attention back to her. “I can’t even remember what we were fighting about at the time, but all I knew was that I hated him.”

The emotion rushes back into her veins like it never left, and she knows somewhere deep inside of her that it was simply waiting to return. “We were playing baseball, or maybe we were in the garage, I…I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood.” She admitted, the scene unfolding before her in a grey haze. Her throat began to close up as it sharpened into view, “But I do remember there was nothing he loved more than his GameCube. And whatever he’d done had made me…so angry, I mean…I was a walking ball of rage. So, with all my unaddressed anger and hatred, I grabbed the bat, ran into his room, and smashed the thing to pieces.” 

Guilt began to claw at her stomach, but she shoved it away. Shadow still wasn’t facing her. 

Tessa gulped and tried to ignore the voice in the back of her mind telling her to back out while she still could. “I was maybe seven or eight at the time and my mom was picking up my younger sister from daycare and my dad was still working, so it was just me and Tom.” She bit down on her lip, tasting iron as she drew blood, “He called me every insulting name in the book. Bitch, brat, weirdo, annoying, I think he even called me a dyke, although I’m pretty sure he didn’t know what it meant at the time.” She tried to laugh off the memory but it curled deep in her gut, reminding her of what exactly she’d left. “The one that really got me was when he called me ‘retarded’. I’d heard people say it before, but those were kids at school, people I didn’t really know.”

She clenched her jaw as a plethora of memories and obnoxious laughter shuffled across her memory, “But hearing my brother say it and mean it…I don’t know, something in me just snapped.” She turned to face Shadow, who was looking straight down at the floor, “So I hit him, right in the head. I called 9-1-1 and our parents right after but they never looked at me the same ever again.”

The shame she’d once thought she’d gotten past curled in a pit in her stomach and she squeezed her eyes shut and bit down on her tongue. “So, if you think you’re the only monster in this room, Shadow…you’re wrong.”

Letting out a shaky sigh, Tessa forced herself up off the floor and began to move toward the blanket fort. 

Telling the story had brought all of the memories she’d suppressed back to the forefront of her brain and suddenly she was reliving all the trips she’d spent at home while her mom and dad took Tom to Pittsburgh or New York or DC. She was reliving all the months in the hospital watching Tom play his Gameboy or his PSP while rolling his eyes waiting for her test results to come in. 

The shouts of protest when she tried to watch him play Smash Bros or Zelda, the shoves when she tried to get him to take her places, the pleas to their mom to leave him alone and give him a better, less annoying sister. 

Tessa didn’t even realize she was crying until the saltwater landed on her lips. 

Gently wiping the tears away, she focused on trying to rebuild the blanket fort, cleaning up the remnants of Shadow’s outburst with little protest. 

“I killed her.” 

His voice made her stop in her tracks and she turned around to face him. 

She didn’t need to ask who he was referring to. 

“The government was shutting down the project,” He began, choking on every word, “They had more than enough chaos energy to power the whole world at that point. There was no use for me other than as a weapon. I was…too dangerous to be left alive” His quills crackled slightly, “So they sent GUN in after us. To take me out.” It was almost as if he was picturing the entire scene in his mind’s eye. Tessa wished she could visualize it with him. “The Professor…he tried to help me and Maria escape, but it was too late. A soldier fired on us, but it missed and hit one of the tubes of chaos energy instead.” Shadow shut his eyes tight and hugged himself, hands pressing themselves into tight fists. 

Tessa pressed forward and simply sat cross-legged across from him. 

“It exploded, and when I woke…” He trailed off, the tension slowly melting from his shoulders as the weight of the memory began to crush him, “She was gone. Killed in the blast caused by my powers.” Shadow’s eyes flashed open, alight with red energy and glassy with unshed tears. “ That is what makes me a monster.”

Tessa gulped, her chest panging with unsaid sympathy for the poor animal. It continued to eat away at her heart as she stared down the hedgehog with a look she hoped told him she knew exactly what he was going through. 

“I was built to destroy.” He continued, “I am a weapon, nothing else.”

She bit down on her cheek and shook her head, “You’re not a weapon,” She choked out, the lump in her throat threatening to keep her silent. “And you’re not a monster.” He eyed her skeptically. “You’re Shadow…Maria’s Shadow. And mine.” 

She engulfed him in her arms and squeezed him tight against her chest, the wetness of his tears soaking her shirt.

Hers trailed down into his fur. 

His arms tightened around her waist and hers dug into his quills, neither wanting to let go.

Chapter Text

Shadow was used to being alone, but for some reason he found his first day in solitude at the cabin to be a difficult one. 

Tessa was in the city once again looking at jobs, which meant he was left on his own for most of the day, trying to find ways to entertain himself. The two of them hadn’t spoken about the night he told her about Maria, but he found it eased the tangled sensation in his chest and allowed him to fully place his trust in the woman, even if he’d only known her for a few weeks. 

After watching a movie about a man who built a mechanized suit to stop the world from certain danger, Shadow was surprised to find his mind wandering. 

It never used to happen at the lab, although he suspected it probably had to do with the fact that he wasn’t being subjected to tests and conditioning anymore. 

He had…free time as the Professor used to say. 

It was aggravating. 

He decided to try another attempt at reading one of the heavy books on the tall shelves, but found himself overwhelmed by the sheer number of pages he would have to get through. While he read at the lab, it was mostly picture books or shorter ones he’d help Maria read for her homework assignments. 

He vaguely remembered her reading one about a wolf who was an outcast by both humans and wolves alike, recalling how it made him curious about his own situation, and whether or not the star he came from would accept him if he returned. 

Shadow was surprised to see the book on Tessa’s shelf as well, next to other ones with titles like ‘Holes’ and ‘Narnia’.

He decided to try those out first, and was quickly finding himself scoffing at the stupidity of the four siblings getting lost in a wardrobe when he heard a soft scratching at the door, followed by a ‘meow’. 

A moment passed and the meowing grew louder and more frequent. 

He opened the door, only to be accosted by the same black cat he’d met the night he ran away  from the cabin. Big green eyes blinked up at him and Shadow stared down at the animal, trying to understand what it was asking for. 

“Meow!” It uttered. 

“Meow.” Shadow answered back.

He twisted his mouth to the side as it purred against his legs, rubbing its face against his fur. Pets hadn’t been allowed at the lab, especially small ones that would get in the way or cause competition. 

It’s bad enough the Professor’s granddaughter sees the subject as her own personal guard dog. Shadow recalls one of the scientists saying when they thought he wasn’t listening. 

But he remembers Maria telling him about every species on earth, reciting them for one of her science tests. Although she was always interested in animals, Shadow remembered with a fond smile. 

I used to play with my Uncle’s cat all the time before I came here, she’d said with a smile. Then she tilted her head and stared right through him. You even look a bit like him, Shadow. She’d spent the next few hours teaching him how to play ‘cats’ which involved both of them getting on all fours as they moved around the room, Maria’s imagination running wild as she declared what they would do and where they would go. 

The stray cat sat back on its legs and stared up at Shadow with a soft meow. Something came over him and he scooped the cat into his arms, his body vibrating as the cat continued to purr and wiggle in his grip before gripping Shadow’s arm and curling up against his chest. 

It squeaked out a scared ‘meow’ as his hand moved to pet its head, and his eyes narrowed at what he saw. 

The cat had a small cut on its nose and a large scab behind its ear. Shadow peered around his side where the thick gash from his fall was slowly beginning to close. 

His healing had slowed to the point where it was now taking weeks to heal a wound that previously it would have taken days. 

It only served to make him more confused. 

The gash on top of the cat's head didn’t match his wound exactly, but it was enough to bring the injury to the forefront of his mind. His eyes drifted over to the empty bedroom directly next to Tessa’s, the glow of the monitor calling out to him.

While she’d taught him what a computer was, as well as the internet, Shadow found himself uncomfortable with the new technology. Somehow that machine knew every bit of information in the entire world, and Tessa even made jokes about being watched day and night. 

Slowly walking over to the blue screen, Shadow settled in the big padded chair and the cat curled up in his lap, snoozing the day away. 

He clicked on the long bar at the end of the keyboard and the computer opened to the screen Tessa had shown him earlier, bright colorful letters spelling out something called ‘Google’. 

His hands shook slightly as they hovered over the board and began to type out the question at the forefront of his mind.

What do I do with a stray cat?

Immediately a dozen or so results popped up, overwhelming him as he clicked on the very first one, using what Tessa called a mouse–it didn’t look anything like the animal–to scroll down. He froze as a giant square filled the screen, blocking his vision of the text and replacing it with a screen that said YOU’VE REACHED YOUR ARTICLE LIMIT FOR THE DAY. 

Thankfully, Shadow was able to commit most of the information to memory, but as the small arrow hovered over the long bar at the top of the monitor, he had a sudden realization. 

Tessa said this machine held all the knowledge in the world. 

Perhaps it held his lost memories. 

Taking longer than he would like to admit to figure out how to delete his previous question, Shadow slowly typed out a name. 

Professor Robotnik.

The same dozen or so search results popped up, although all of them were dated prior to his awakening. Very little involved Shadow or Gerald's work with GUN. 

The first one he clicked took him to a page that was no longer available.

The second one took him to a block of text talking about Chaos Energy as a potential energy source. 

The third one mentioned NIDS and Shadow clicked out immediately. 

Erasing his question again, Shadow tried a different approach. 

Just typing out ‘gun’ led him to several images of firearms, so he wrote out ‘GUN London’, which finally seemed to provide him with some answers. 

He read an article from a newspaper about the destruction of their headquarters, which listed a piece of technology called ‘The Eclipse Cannon’. For some reason, the name rattled in Shadow’s brain, like it was trying to find someplace to fit. 

He clicked on the words highlighted in blue text, which brought up video footage of a large rounded disc rising from the river, followed by a bolt of orange light spearing the darkened skies and slicing the moon in half. 

Shadow couldn’t figure out how to hear the video, but it kept replaying over and over. 

This is our last chance to do the right thing–And you were once so useful to me–You’re my friend–The light shines even though the star is gone–Do it for me, please.

Shadow unplugged the computer. 

His heart pounded in his temples, breathing shallow as the screen went dark. 

Soft pressure pushed against his chest. He looked down to see the cat pressing its paws into his fur, almost as if it could feel his distress. The animal purred and moved to rub its head against Shadow’s torso, but let out a yowl as it hit the scab behind its ear. 

Anger rumbled in his chest as he caught sight of a dirty, frayed collar around the animal’s neck. Not only was the cat a stray, but it had been abandoned and left to fend for itself. It let out another yelp of pain and Shadow steeled his resolve.

He visualized exactly where he needed to go and teleported to a place he’d only been once before. 

Chrissy shrieked as she rounded the corner,  nearly falling over as she grabbed hold of the door frame, stabilizing herself. “Jesus fucking Christ!” Her hand clapped her chest, eyes wide.

He simply stood in place while the cat purred. 

“I need your help.” Shadow said matter-of-factly, dropping the cat on the cushioned table. The vet simply stared at him, as if not understanding what he was asking. 

He thought it was fairly obvious. 

“Did you steal a cat?” She finally asked. 

Shadow didn’t dignify the silly question with an answer. 

Chrissy raised an eyebrow at his silence. “Legally, you have to tell me.”

He was pretty sure he didn’t. 

And even if he did, he didn’t care.

Shadow crossed his arms, “You’re a doctor.” He stated, growing aggravated with her lack of cooperation. Clearly Tessa trusted this woman, but Shadow couldn’t see why. She’d hurt Tessa when she’d brought him in, refused to do her job when he was asking nicely, and continued to look at him like he was a threat. “This cat is injured.” 

He wasn’t sure why he had to be the one to spell out the situation to her. She was a doctor, she should be smart enough to put the puzzle together. 

Christine took a few wary steps closer to the table, “And you want me to…”

“You’re not a very smart doctor.” Shadow replied, drawing an annoyed brow from the woman. 

She moved closer to the cat and began to examine it, finally understanding what he was asking. “And you’re not a very helpful patient,” She shot back, taking out a long rubber cord that split into two on one end and had a large circle on the other. She put the end that split in two into her ears while pressing the large circle against the cat’s chest. 

He watched as she placed the cord around her neck and began to take a look at the injuries on the cat’s head. 

“Where did you find this cat anyway?” She asked. 

Shadow remained silent. She kept asking too many questions. And he didn’t know if he could trust her to keep quiet. Otherwise the cat would be returned back to its owner who would abandon it again.

Chrissy tilted her head in annoyance, “I’m not gonna tell on you, I just need to know if the cat’s feral or not.”

“It approached me outside of the cabin,” Shadow huffed. 

The woman nodded and grabbed a device he didn’t recognize. He tensed as she moved it across the cat’s back, clearly looking for something. 

His quills stood on edge as she pulled it away. “Well, she doesn’t have a microchip, so there’s no way to find out who she belonged to.”

“Microchip?”

“It’s a way for owners to keep track of their pets,” Chrissy explained with a huff, “In case they get lost or stolen or end up on someone’s porch to be picked up by an alien from outer space.”

Her last comment was clearly pointed at him, and Shadow scowled. 

But the reality of what she was saying drew his insides into a knot, tightening in his stomach. 

Humans tagging animals like property, tracking their every move. He shuddered inwardly and a horrible, yet possible thought crossed his mind. GUN was known for chasing down every loose end until it was tied up neatly. And they hated losing assets. 

What if GUN had injected him with one of these…microchips?

Creasing his brows, he looked between the small device and the doctor in teal scrubs. “Can you scan me?” He asked. 

The woman looked at him incredulously, but simply shrugged and shook her head, mumbling something about pay and favors being owed as she gestured for him to get on the table alongside the cat. 

“I need you to remain still,” She explained, “That means no teleporting or choking me or–”

“I understand,” Shadow growled, resenting the idea that she thought he was so stupid he didn’t know what she was talking about. 

“Good,” Chrissy snarked back and pinched his skin, making him yelp slightly. He had a feeling she was pinching him that hard on purpose. He growled as she rubbed the device across his fur from his head to his toes. It didn’t feel like when Tessa had brushed the plastic quills through his fur or washed the mud from his quills. It felt harsher, more clinical. Like the doctors who’d drawn blood or clipped pieces of his DNA to observe and use.

Shadow relaxed when the procedure was finally over. 

“There’s a faint signal coming from your right forearm, but I wouldn’t–WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”

Shadow grabbed the scalpel closest to him and tore into his skin, digging through the muscle and skin tissue until he felt something hard and circular underneath the pads of his gloves. Shadow scowled and ripped the device from his body, crushing it in the palm of his hand. 

If it was operational, it wasn’t anymore. 

Chrissy stared at him in horror. 

Shadow clenched his jaw as he caught sight of the GUN logo etched into the metal of the chip. 

They’d been tracking him. 

That’s how he’d been found in Tokyo. 

He paused and blinked at the sudden assertion. Images of black SUVs and guns pointed directly at him filled his memory. “Asset out of containment, requesting backup,” A voice he didn’t recognize echoed in his mind. It wouldn’t matter, the man who’d said that was dead now anyway. Japanese letters swirled in his vision before flipping over to English. 

2024? I’ve been trapped for 50 years?

He’d been in Tokyo.

He’d been there while GUN was there. 

He’d escaped and they found him. And he’d left nothing but debris and bodies behind. 

All he could remember was anger. 

“Hello? Earth to Shadow?” Chrissy’s voice cut through the noise and Shadow tensed once more. Her hand was under his arm, a needle poking through his skin as she sutured the fresh cut in his forearm. The woman stared at him and shook her head, “What kind of lunatic cuts themself open to remove a chip that probably didn’t even work anyway?”

“Someone who doesn’t want to be found.” Shadow hummed indifferently, the implied threat hanging in the air. 

Chrissy tied off the sutures and narrowed her gaze, “What are you running from, Shadow?”

He averted his gaze and refused to answer her question. 

The only people he could even trust with that information were miles away in a different city or buried under the rubble of the lab. 

Chrissy sighed and removed her gloves, “There, you should be good as long as you don’t strain yourself. And you’ll need to be back in a few weeks to remove the stitches.”

Shadow kept silent. He knew what orders sounded like. 

Even if he disagreed with them. 

“As for your furry friend,” Chrissy turned her attention to the true reason he’d come to the clinic. She almost turned into a different person when interacting with the cat, scratching underneath its chin and pressing her face against the animal’s nose. 

Shadow eyed the display with disgust. 

Chrissy stood back up and faced him, “She’ll need to stay with me for a bit longer.” The cat purred at Chrissy’s touch and Shadow felt something inside his chest twist. “I need to make sure she doesn’t have rabies or any other infections. You can pick her up tomorrow.”

Shadow’s eyes darted between the cat and the doctor, whose body language told him this was not up for debate. 

More orders. 

Her arms were crossed and she stood in front of the cat protectively. He knew there was no arguing with her. And besides, his chances of getting her to return the cat to him were better if he didn't piss her off. 

Shadow huffed and teleported out of the clinic. 

Almost as soon as his shoes hit cement, smoke filled his vision, stinging his eyes and nose. Terror seized his body.

He’d been found. 

He switched into a familiar fighting stance as a pair of arms tried to wrap themselves around his body. 

Their mistake. 

His palm launched itself into something solid and a pained groan filled the air as the person went flying. 

The smoke cleared and Shadow found himself staring down a man in a black suit with slicked back black hair and a trim beard. The man gasped as he grabbed the side of the brick wall in the alley near the vet clinic, holding his stomach as he tried to pull himself up. 

“Shadow–”

Shadow’s eyes widened in shock at the use of his name. 

“Wait–”

His hand wrapped around the man’s throat, “Who are you?” 

The man clawed at his throat, trying and failing to remove Shadow’s hand from his windpipe. He could feel the desperate gasps of oxygen pulsating underneath his palm. 

“It’s me,” He gasped out, “Stone.”

The name seemed to unlock something deep within Shadow’s consciousness. 

Come on, Shadow, I’ve got some avocados in the crab, we’ll make guac.

You need to lighten up. 

That’s dark, what are you and the professor up to?

Stone. 

Agent Stone. 

He must be someone important if it was triggering Shadow’s memory. Perhaps he could even tell him what had happened. 

His grip loosened and the man who called himself Stone fell to the ground, choking on air. 

Shadow simply stood there and watched as the man pulled himself up and swept his hands down his suit, straightening his tie before meeting the hedgehog’s gaze. 

“That’s one way to greet an old friend.” Stone said dryly and Shadow narrowed his gaze. He only had one friend in his lifetime, and Stone was not one of them. And if he was, he wasn’t good enough to be remembered. 

“We're not friends.” Shadow spat out. 

Hurt flashed across Stone’s face. “Ouch,” He replied, rolling his shoulders and neck back and straightening his suit. 

Shadow deepened his frown, “What are you doing here, Stone?”

Something else flashed across the Agent’s face, although it moved too quick for Shadow to recognize it. He reached inside his suit pocket and pulled out what looked like a small pebble. He tossed it to Shadow, who caught it immediately. 

The hedgehog clicked the red button in the center of it and the device opened up to reveal a transparent screen no bigger than the communicator Tessa used. 

“I’ve been tracking chaos energy,” Stone admitted, “A few days ago, there was a surge close to Mount Baker, I thought it was our furry blue friend, but when I saw you…” The man’s throat bobbed up and down before clearing it. “How are you alive?”

Shadow narrowed his eyes at the Agent. “Why are you tracking chaos energy?”

A nervous look crossed his face and Stone opened his mouth, but nothing came out. “I was–I mean, I’m looking–” He cleared his throat again, “I asked you first.”

Shadow tilted his head, but figured he wouldn’t get answers any other way. “I don’t remember. Now talk.”

Stone scoffed, “Yeah, right.” He paused and looked at Shadow, like he was hiding something neither of them knew about. It was only when he looked him directly in the eye that Stone’s expression shifted. “Wait, you really don’t remember? Like any of it?”

Shadow shook his head, his hand placed impatiently on his hip. This was taking too long, and if Stone could track him, that meant GUN certainly could and probably was currently. It meant he needed to be careful and cover any tracks he left behind. 

His chest panged at the thought of leaving the small house he’d slowly come to see as shelter, as well as the woman he’d come to trust over the last few weeks. But he knew this was for the best. 

You’re not a monster, her voice echoed in his head, you’re Shadow. 

Stone continued to stare at him. Shadow thought he spied pity in his eyes. His stomach clenched at the thought. 

He didn’t need charity nor pity. 

“What happened?” Shadow finally asked, hoping someone would give him a straight answer. 

Stone blinked, stammering over his words as he tried to find one. 

“You and the Doctor…” He choked as he said the title, “You sacrificed yourselves on the Eclipse Cannon. To save Earth.”

Shadow stilled. 

This is our last chance to do the right thing. 

Go with god, stinking hedgehog. 

BOOM!

“Robotnik,” Shadow muttered to himself. Stone smiled sadly and nodded. “Is he…?”

Stone’s face fell. “That’s what I was hoping you were able to tell me.” He grabbed the device from Shadow’s hand and scrolled through what looked like several weeks worth of information, “I’ve been tracking chaos energy in the hopes of finding him, but…” He trailed off, swallowing his words as he stuffed the device back in his pocket. 

Shadow averted his eyes, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest. He didn’t know the Doctor enough to remember him following his crash, but his last name suggested he was related to Maria, which meant it still stung to hear his last connection to her was severed completely. And Stone’s face suggested a closer relation that Shadow didn’t have time to unpack. The light had left his eyes completely, and he looked ready to crumple at the slightest touch. 

“I am sorry,” Shadow offered. And he was. He wished it had been him who’d died onboard the cannon instead of this man’s friend? Partner? Someone of great importance to him, he was sure. Once again, life after death was proving it would have been better if he'd been caught in the explosion fifty years ago.

Stone looked at him with a sad smile, “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” He paused and Shadow tensed. He hated hearing that. “It’s mine,” Stone’s voice trembled, eyes welling up with unshed tears, “I should have stopped him, I should have done better to warn him about the Professor, I should’ve–”

He choked and refused to finish the sentence.

A beat passed. And then another. 

And while Stone let out a stifled sob, Shadow could only focus on one name the agent had dropped in his musings.

“The Professor?” Shadow noted how much stiffer Stone appeared after he asked about the man. “Is he…”

“No.” Stone said coldly. A marked difference in comparison to his affection for the Doctor.

Any hope Shadow had left evaporated. Maria and the Professor. Gone. 

His shoulders slumped.

“Here,” Stone handed him a piece of paper with a phone number and the words Huevo Diablo typed out above it. “If you look up that name, you should be able to find out what happened. The Doctor’s live streams were meticulous,” Stone smiled like he was recalling a fond memory. Suddenly Shadow realized. 

The Doctor was to Stone as Maria was to Shadow. 

He was the Agent’s person.

Shadow mentally cursed Tessa for showing him so much of that medical show he was now quoting it in his own head. 

“And,” Stone gulped, “If you need anything, you can contact me at that number.” Shadow tilted his head again, this time in confusion. The Agent moved past him toward a motorbike he hadn’t noticed earlier. Shadow stared at the piece of paper with a skeptical look. “It’s untraceable. If I found you, GUN’s not far behind.” Stone slid his helmet on and turned to face the hedgehog, something unrecognizable in his gaze, “Take care of yourself, Shadow.”

He kicked the bike into gear and sped off into the twilight.

Shadow spent the rest of the night in the guest room of the cabin watching the late Doctor’s live streams–they were terrible and he had no idea how the doctor managed to get one viewer let alone ten thousand–but Agent Stone was right. 

There was Doctor Ivo Robotnik, looking every inch the grandson of Professor Gerald Robotnik. The Professor kept making snide remarks about revenge and their plans for the world, while the Doctor kept making inane gestures and overexplaining the plan to the point Shadow wanted to bang his head against the wall. 

It all culminated in the last stream dedicated to Agent Stone in particular, a goodbye meant only for the henchman in a way that made him feel like he was intruding on a private moment. 

“If I can’t rule the world, I might as well save it!”

The world crumbled in a plethora of orange and red before cutting to black.

However, Shadow still felt empty. 

Like something was missing. 

He had the knowledge of what had happened, but the memories were still gone. Stranger still was that he had no recollection of meeting up with the Professor after waking. 

Shadow stared at the piece of paper, memorizing the contact number before moving over to the corner of the room. The large carpet covered the empty guest room almost corner to corner, with the exception of directly behind the bed. 

There, he loosened a floorboard and pulled it up to reveal a small compartment he’d made a few days ago when Tessa first went into the city. 

Inside seven brightly colored crystals glittered, the pull of the chaos energy dizzying.

As quick as he could, he placed the piece of paper directly next to them, mouth set in a tight line as he put the board back in place and covered it with the rug. 

Almost as if on cue, the door opened and Shadow unplugged the computer and moved back out into the living area. 

Tessa tossed her outer layer on the couch and flopped down on the floor to stare up at the ceiling. “I hate job hunting.”

And as if nothing eventful had happened in the last twelve hours, Shadow flopped down beside her and hummed like he knew what she was talking about, their heads touching as they imagined a bed of stars above them. 

He didn't know how long he had left, so he savored everything he knew he would miss.

Chapter Text

Shadow was hiding something. 

Tessa couldn’t prove it, but she knew the hedgehog was acting stranger than usual. At first she thought it was the new addition to the household, but that was quickly debunked when she discovered the two curled up in the armchair in front of the fireplace.

If anything, the cat was helping calm Shadow down, which she was grateful for. 

Unfortunately for Tessa, it meant more bills and mouths to feed. 

She’d had a fair amount saved, but she hated to dip in any further. 

And it had been one full month since she was fired, which meant she needed to find a job and fast.

So, without any other option, she swallowed her pride and headed into town, resume in hand. There was exactly one place where she had a chance, and it was only because Chrissy had told her a new coffee shop was opening up near the beach. 

A Mean Bean. 

Newly opened and looking for workers. 

The bell rang as she opened the door and came face to face with a man in a black apron and a well-trimmed beard. “Welcome to Mean Bean Espresso, how can we help you?”

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. Tessa recognized the pain of customer service all too well. 

“Hi,” She plastered a smile to her face and placed her resume on the dark wooden counter, “I noticed you had a help wanted sign, and well, I’m here to apply.”
He eyed her resume and then scanned her up and down. 

Tessa blinked, noting how clinically he surveyed her. It was like he was looking for some sort of weakness to exploit, or something else she was hiding. 

And to his credit, she was hiding a lot. 

An alien creature, a potentially stolen cat, the knowledge that a super secret government organization was probably watching her and waiting to arrest her for harboring a dangerous weapon to society. 

She hoped her wide smile and years of barista experience from college was enough to at least get her a part time shift. 

The man eyed her resume again and folded it over his finger, staring at her again. “When can you start?”

Tessa let out a sigh of relief, “Does now work?” 

He tossed her a black apron and she felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders. 

She had a job. 

She was able to afford the basics, even if it meant going back to work in an industry she hated making minimum wage to please customers who disliked her. 

Despite the manager–whose name she still didn’t know–disappearing at random times and leaving her to fend for herself during the rush, he wasn’t as bad as she was expecting. A little socially awkward, but he allowed her to take home all the tips she collected at the end of the day. Although he did demand that she clock out when her shift ended instead of paying her overtime. 

It was food service though, so she honestly expected worse. 

Her shift officially was seven to three, which was hell, but it meant she got off early enough to return home and spend the night with Shadow and their new cat, which was yet to be named. 

She was surprised to see the hedgehog out on the steps of the front porch, his head placed in the palms of both of his hands while their unnamed cat trounced around in the snow. 

His eyes lit up when he caught sight of her frame and Tessa resisted the urge to smile. 

“Looks like someone’s getting some sun.” She joked, drawing an arched brow from Shadow as he let out an annoyed huff. 

The edge of his lips twitched upward though, which finally brought a smile to her face. 

“You’re back.” He finally said, eyeing her new uniform with a creased brow, “Why are you dressed like that?”

“What?” Tessa played dumb and circled around in one spot, “Are you saying I can’t pull this off?”

“You look ridiculous,” Shadow huffed. 

A small meow cut through the air and Tessa looked down to see the cat rubbing its fur against her black jeans with a purr. Letting out a soft coo, she squatted down and scratched the cat’s chin, “Awww, she doesn’t seem to think so, do you?” Her voice switched up to the classic baby talk she used with animals, and when she looked back up at Shadow, she had to stifle her laughter. 

He was glaring at both of them with what almost looked like a growl, although she couldn’t tell whether it was directed at her or the cat. She smirked as an idea popped into her head, although she knew it would annoy the shit out of the hedgehog before her. 

“Aww,” Tessa cooed as she stood back up, “Is someone jealous?”

Shadow looked away, but he couldn’t disguise the flick of his ears or the pink of his muzzle. He scowled, but it looked more like a little kid throwing a fit than a scary alien weapon getting annoyed with her. 

She crept closer, using the same baby talk voice she used with the cat, “Did someone miss me while I was at work? Is that what this is about?”

Shadow huffed and crossed his arms, but didn’t deny it. 

Laughter was bubbling up in her chest as she watched this grumpy lifeform struggle with what clearly was his first time dealing with separation anxiety. It would be sad if he didn’t look so scary and grumpy all the time.

“It’s okay to admit it,” Tessa dropped the baby voice and immediately dropped down to Shadow’s level, “I missed you too,” She replied, squishing his face in a hug and pressing a wet kiss to the top of his head. He shook her off and tried to brush the kiss from his fur, but even she could see he was trying to force back a smile. 

“Fine,” Tessa stood back up and moved back towards the car, “I guess I’ll just keep your present to myself then.”

Shadow’s ears perked up and he eyed the car. 

She whirled around on her heel with a smirk and pulled open the passenger car. Shadow stood up and slowly began to move toward the car, the cat following him with the same curious gaze. “You brought me something?” He asked, like it was so far out of the realm of possibility for someone to do that for him. 

Her heart tugged and she grabbed the tray of coffee she’d made, along with a dark chao plush she’d picked up at the only department mall in the town. She thought it was perfect for Shadow.

Pulling out the coffee cup, she twirled around with a bright smile and a hand gesture.

“Ta-da!”

His eyes grew wide at the 20oz cup of black coffee she held in her hand, his name written out in her elegant cursive. He grabbed the cup gently, his small smile causing something to bloom behind her chest. 

Seeing how happy he was already, she decided to keep the Chao plush hidden for a later date. Maybe for his birthday. 

Did aliens have birthdays? 

Surely the scientists gave him one when he came down from space fifty years ago. 

She’d have to ask him about it later. 

But for now, she needed to change and relax. Cause while she would never tell him to his face, Shadow was right. She could not pull off the white collared shirt and black jeans. 

But it was a small price to pay for good tips and money. 

She grabbed her own coffee and followed her two animal companions into the house, abandoning them briefly to undo her hair and change into a comfy pair of sweatpants and a graphic t-shirt. 

She collapsed on the bed against the headboard, staring ahead at the hand me down TV on the dresser with a sigh. The room was barren, with little decoration outside of a few posters from the concerts she’s been to and leftover bins from when she first moved there a year ago. 

It was kind of sad how little personality she’d injected into the space she spent most of her time in, but with constantly worrying about being kicked out all the time, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable making her mark on the place. 

Her eyes slowly began to droop and she caught herself just before her chin hit her chest. 

Fuck, she forgot how much energy work took out of her. 

Releasing her wild curls from their ponytail, she let them bounce around her shoulders in dark ringlets before flipping them over and raking her fingers through the knots. It was a gesture that always relaxed her even as a kid. 

But she wasn’t a kid anymore. She was an adult, with what was essentially a child living under her roof and a cat to take care of. 

A soft knock was heard at her door and she pulled herself out of her stupor. “Come in,” She spoke with a sigh. 

Her demeanor instantly changed when she saw Shadow creeping in with a wide-eyed look on his face, “Hey buddy,” She forced a smile on her face, trying not to let the tiredness show.

“Are you alright?” He asked with obvious concern in his voice. Clearly she wasn’t as good at hiding it as she thought she was. 

Despite this, however, she doubled down. “Yeah,” She lied, squeezing her eyes to try and mimic a true smile, “I’m fine, just a little tired.”

Shadow side-eyed her and Tessa could see he didn’t believe her words. 

But instead of questioning her, he simply walked over to the edge of the bed and crawled on top of the comforter, his legs stretched out in front of him. They barely reached her knees. 

It almost sent her into cuteness aggression mode. 

“Thank you for the coffee,” He said quietly, pressing his head against her shoulder. 

She pressed hers on top of his quills, “No problem,” Tessa murmured back. 

There the two sat in silence for a long time. 

It was peaceful, right up until she heard Shadow purring against her shoulder and she suddenly remembered the hedgehog’s weird behavior over the last few days. 

When she was confident he was asleep, she slowly pulled herself free of his grip and began exploring the house. 

Her first instinct was to check the computer, which proved to be the right choice. 

Not only was it unplugged, but when she entered her password and clicked on the browser, she saw multiple tabs open, each more worrying than the last. 

The first was fairly innocuous, with several articles on caring for stray cats open. The next had to do with Professor Gerald Robotnik.

Now that was interesting, she noted. Shadow didn’t seem to have any reaction when she brought up the man earlier, but clearly he knew enough about the Professor to look him up. And then right next to that tab was one open to Twitch.

Her eyes widened when she caught sight of what he’d been watching. 

Holy shit. It was the Eggman. 

Doctor Ivo Robotnik. 

She’d thought every bit of his presence had been erased, but here was living proof that he’d not only existed, but actively taken part in trying to destroy the world alongside his grandfather. 

She scrubbed through the VODs, ignoring the terrible content for any semblance of what Shadow could have been looking for. 

She was halfway through his penultimate stream when she caught it. 

There in the corner of the camera was a blur of black and red fur, the same color as the hedgehog that was now sleeping in her bed and cuddled up with a stray cat. 

It was Shadow, that much she knew. 

Was this what he was hiding? 

It had to be. There was nothing else she could think of. 

She clicked the back arrow and it took her to several other pages, but these were even more confusing. He’d searched Blue Blur, Red Hedgehog, and Yellow Fox, all with varying results.

When she clicked on the most recent tab, her stomach dropped. 

It was open to an article criticizing GUN’s reaction to the incidents in Tokyo and London, calling back to a military failure by the organization back in 1974. 

50 years ago. 

It detailed the events of an explosion at a Norwegian military base, which ended in several GUN agents being killed and the death of a child. 

A child whose name had finally been released to the public after the UN demanded GUN release any and all records related to the Eclipse Cannon and the London incident.

Maria Robotnik. 

“What are you doing?”

Shit. 

She turned around to see Shadow standing in the light of the hallway. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” She gestured towards the computer and watched as his face dropped. 

Shadow’s eyes widened in shock, “I thought I unplugged it.”

“You did,” Tessa continued, “But that doesn’t erase your search history or close tabs.” Shadow muttered something she couldn’t hear under her breath, but she could tell he wasn’t happy about it. “You wanna tell me what you were looking for?”

Shadow huffed and crossed his arms, “It’s none of your business.”

“It absolutely is my business,” Tessa shot back, trying to keep her anger in check, “You made it my business when you fell into my backyard from space.”

Shadow said nothing, just simply averted his eyes. She tried not to think about how he was acting a little too much like a child for her taste. 

Then she remembered he probably still felt like one. 

Forcing her anger down, she let out a sigh and swiveled to face him, “Look, like it or not, we’re a team now which means you have to tell me things. We can’t lie or keep things from each other.”

She waited to see if Shadow reacted, but he refused to look at her. 

Her chest panged, but she shoved it aside.

He said nothing. 

Tessa sighed, “Fine,” She shoved the keyboard away, unable to keep her emotions in check after the day she’d had, “Do what you want, see if I care. It’s not my responsibility anyway.”

The words were meant to hurt him, and she was slightly disappointed to see that he remained as stoic as ever. 

Just as she was getting ready to leave, her phone buzzed, drawing both of their attention to the device. 

She picked it up and creased her brow at the unknown number. 

“Who is it?” Shadow asked warily. 

Tessa ignored his question and hung up, figuring it was just some scam call, “Nobody, but since you’re talking, why don’t you tell me what you’ve been hiding?”

Shadow clenched his jaw, but eventually gave way when he realized she wasn't going to budge, “I’m being tracked. Or I was.”

Now that made her stomach drop. 

“By who?”

His fist clenched. “GUN.”

Her throat tightened.

“I destroyed the chip they put in me, but someone else from my past was able to find me by tracking my chaos energy output.” He continued. Shadow swallowed and tensed, “When I…woke you up a few nights ago, I let out a burst of energy that drew him here. He warned me GUN was not far behind.”

Suddenly his shifty behavior made sense. 

Waiting until she was out of the house, tensing every time she brought up going outside, hiding in the spare bedroom every spare moment of the day. 

Her phone buzzed again, It was the same number as before and she pressed end again. 

Turning back to Shadow, she could see his quills on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice had calmed, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still frustrated with him. “I could’ve helped you figure something out, we could’ve–”

“You’ve done too much  for me,” Shadow cut her off, “More than I deserve. I couldn’t put you in danger too.”

Her heart stung at the confession. She didn’t need to read between the lines to understand what was being said. From what this article was saying, he’d already lost one friend to GUN, he didn’t want to lose another. 

But while he was still Shadow, she was not Maria. 

“That’s not your choice to make,” She choked out, “I told you a long time ago this isn’t about deserve.” Tessa grabbed his hand and squeezed, “I want to help you, Shadow.” His pupils dilated and his ears flopped, “But you have to let me.”

A pause hung over the two of them and for a moment she was worried he would run away again. 

Shadow looked down at her hand in his and squeezed back. 

She smiled and pulled him in for a hug. “Hey, we’re a team now,” She pulled away and pressed her hand to his cheeks, “Got it, Hot Topic?”

A strange look came over his face, “What does that mean?” He asked, “Someone else called me that once, but I don’t understand the reference.”

That was news to her. As far as she knew, there was no way Maria or Robotnik would have known about it. Perhaps it was someone he knew before he crashed. 

Maybe his memories were slowly starting to come back. 

“It’s an outlet store,” She admitted, blood rushing to her cheeks as she recalled her many, many days with her friends looking for chokers and suspenders and knee high converse to go with their plaid skirts and graphic Doctor Who shirts. “It’s where a lot of punk and emo kids shop when they’re teens cause their parents won’t let them go to Zumiez or Spencer’s.”

She could tell he didn’t understand any of that, but nodded as if he did. 

“I see,” Shadow spoke quietly, wrapping his arms around himself, “And I resemble these…punks?”

Tessa couldn’t help the laugh that left her lips, “A little bit yeah,” She smiled, and Shadow let out an approving huff. Her phone buzzed again and she let out a sigh as she saw the same number. 

Shadow peered at the screen as well, “These people are quite persistent.”

“I’m sure they’re getting paid hourly to scam me,” She muttered to herself, “Look, why don’t you go set up the TV for movie night, you can pick this time.” 

Almost immediately, his ears perked up and he skated out toward the kitchen, the smell of popcorn already filling the air. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, she clicked the green button ready to tell off the telemarketer with some choice words. 

She was cut off with a simple, “Hello, Miss Walters, this is Director Rockwell with the Guardian Units of Nations.” Her stomach dropped, “We believe you would make a valuable asset to our Research and Developments department, do you have a minute?”

The rest of the conversation went by in a blur, and when she finally emerged from the room to see Shadow happily lounging in the blanket fort with John Wick ready to go, she felt like she was going to puke. 

Chapter Text

Shadow had never celebrated a birthday. 

As far as he knew, he didn’t have one, just the date he fell to Earth and hatched from his meteorite.

He’d been allowed to celebrate Maria’s birthday, which had been a grand affair with Gerald and all the scientists pitching in to bake a cake and place thirteen candles on bright blue frosting with yellow cake inside. It was the most delicious thing Shadow had ever eaten. 

She’d then opened packages from her friends at the lab. 

A guitar from the Professor, the newest monster movie from Dr. Tower, and even a brand new pair of roller skates from Captain Walters. 

Later that day, they’d broken them in by skating around the lab. 

The scientists weren’t badgering him about tests, no one was looking at him like he was a bomb ready to explode, and he’d gotten to spend the entire day with Maria. 

Shadow learned then that he loved birthdays. 

Today was Tessa’s birthday, Chrissy had told him after he took the cat in for a weekly checkup, but from what he’d observed, it didn’t look like she was celebrating at all.  

There was no cake, no candles, and no presents waiting to be opened.

In fact, she’d never even said anything about it. 

Instead, she’d spent most of the day in the giant space where she housed her vehicle, pouring over boxes and sorting through clothes like it was any other day. 

He double checked the calendar to make sure Chrissy had told him the right date and he was correct. 

January 26th. 

Shadow knit his brow and began to consider every possibility as to why Tessa wasn’t celebrating. 

The first was that she’d forgotten, which was entirely plausible. Her new job at the Mean Bean was wearing her down and maybe it simply slipped her mind. A lot of things did, he realized. Although, she always brought home a cup of coffee for him and fresh milk for Daisy, which proved she never let the important things slide.

That alone made him skeptical of the idea that she’d forgotten.

The second possibility was that she didn’t want to celebrate her birthday, but that seemed stupid to Shadow. From what he remembered of the birthday celebrations in the lab, it was a monumental occasion filled with delicious food and packages to open. 

Everyone loved when someone had a birthday because it meant a day free from tests and work. 

Even Shadow had been invited. 

The third and most likely option was that she didn’t have the means to celebrate. He’d seen no cake in the cupboards or packages waiting to be wrapped, so that must mean she couldn’t celebrate this year. 

His chest panged at the thought and he turned to face the dark-haired woman who was now holding up what looked like an old picture frame. Shadow was too far away to tell who they were, but he recognized the look on her face. 

It was the same look he wore when he thought of Maria.

He crept down the steps into the big metal space, Daisy meowing as she pressed up against Shadow’s legs before jumping into Tessa’s lap. 

“Oh, hey Shadow,” She spoke through sniffs, quickly wiping away what looked like small tears from the corner of her eyes as she faced him, “Uh, what do you need?”

“I came to see if you were alright,” He admitted, curious as to why she was suddenly crying on a day that was meant to be a celebration. “You’ve been gone most of the day.”

She smiled sadly, the gesture not reaching her eyes, “Sorry about that, I’ve been sorting through some old stuff, trying to figure out what to get rid of and what to keep.”

Tessa shook two different boxes, one with the words ‘Goodwill’ on it, the other scrawled with the world ‘Keep’. He watched as she placed the picture frame she’d been looking at in the first box, and Shadow pulled it back out, examining the group of people she’d been looking at. 

A finely dressed man with thick dark hair stood next to a tall woman with wild curly greying hair.

On the other side stood a man who looked almost exactly like the finely dressed man, with the same dark hair and blue eyes, while a blonde woman with dark eyes squatted next to an older woman in a wheelchair. Beside both of them was the only person Shadow recognized. 

It was Tessa. 

This must be her family. 

Father, mother, brother, sister.

Something in Shadow twisted as he realized she’d never told him about them. Never told him she already had a family waiting for her. He knew about her brother, but not her sister or her parents. She had a life and he’d intruded upon it. 

Her face dropped when she saw what he was holding. “Oh, that’s a picture from my grandma’s seventieth birthday.” She spoke candidly, “My grandfather insisted on taking a picture with his camera. Took him ages to get the film developed.”

“Who are they?” Shadow worked up the urge to ask. Tessa looked at him for a brief moment before removing Daisy from her lap and pulling Shadow in instead. She wrapped her arms around him and grasped the frame, pointing at each person as she described them. 

“That’s my mom and dad,” She pointed to the finely dressed man and the curly haired woman, “Their names are Linda and Nick. My mom is a nurse and credits herself with giving me and my siblings our thick hair and great bone structure.” As if to prove a point, Tessa flipped her wild curls like a dog shaking out water, “My dad, however, was an Army General for the United States. Military family, all that good stuff. He finally settled down in Pennsylvania when his years of service were up and became a police officer.” Her jaw clenched as she recalled her dad’s work history and quickly moved on to the younger man beside him. “That is my brother, Tom.” Tessa said with a sigh. Shadow’s muscles tensed. “He followed in my dad’s footsteps, went to West Point, joined the Air Force, and now he’s some big government hotshot.” 

And yet, she was so certain he hadn’t been the Tom Shadow attacked in London. 

His memories had been slowly coming back since his meeting with Stone, and he remembered seeing Commander Walters shift into a younger man, a man with thick dark hair and blue eyes, a man who looked nearly identical to the one staring out at him from the photo. 

“He’s the one my parents trust to carry on ‘the family name’,” She used what Shadow had learned were air quotes to emphasize her point. “Even though he has no girlfriend, no social life, and will absolutely not be having kids any time soon.” 

Shadow stared at the man in the photo, trying to match his features to the man from his memories. His hair was neatly trimmed and he wore blue jeans with a black shirt. Shadow squinted and caught sight of a silver bracelet with a thin blue line etched into it. 

He would have to search his memories later to see if the ‘Tom’ he’d hurt wore the same thing. 

It seemed like too much of a coincidence for it not to be the same person. 

“That’s my sister, Sarah” Tessa’s voice picked up as she pointed to the young blonde woman in the center, “She’s studying abroad in Greece right now, so I don’t get to talk to her a lot, but she did call me this morning.” Her smile grew wider at the memory, and Shadow found himself smiling alongside her. “My parents like to joke that she followed my example and flew halfway across the world to get away from them.” 

Shadow stared at her, trying to understand the joke her parents were telling. 

Tessa simply shrugged and spelled it out for him, “I guess they didn’t like that she chose Santa Clara for college instead of UPenn.” She sighed and continued to look at the picture, “And it doesn’t help that she chose marketing and graphic design either.”

Shadow didn’t understand any of this. 

From what it sounded like, Tessa’s parents were being highly irrational. 

Getting upset with their children because of some arbitrary reason or another. Blaming Tessa for her sister’s choices or experiences that were out of her control. It all felt rather silly and childish. And not in the fun way. 

In the way that made him angry. 

He recalled a moment when Dr. Tower had yelled at the Professor for allowing Shadow so much free time with Maria. Shadow watched as the doctor stomped her foot and gestured wildly with each word. The Professor had simply stood still and explained how important it was for Shadow to help Maria, but still the doctor continued to throw a fit, going around and telling other scientists and even Captain Walters about the situation. But in the end, nothing had changed.

It was childish. 

A tantrum thrown by an adult who knew better. 

And that made Shadow angry. 

These scientists and doctors who expected others to roll over and give way to their demands like they were the only human beings that mattered. While Shadow was expected to be on his best behavior at all times, or risk being torn apart. 

Maria had called them ‘tattletales’. Shadow simply saw them as inferior. 

From what Tessa told him about her parents, it seemed they were the kind of people who expected the exact same thing. 

They were inferior. 

No wonder she didn’t wish to associate with them anymore. 

He turned his attention back to the photo, where she was pointing at the elderly woman who was at the center of the picture. “And that’s my grandma,” Tessa choked out, “Ellen. She and I don’t talk anymore.”

That was the end of the sentence. 

No word about what Ellen did or how she viewed her grandchildren, just a simple summation of what remained of their relationship.

“Why?” Shadow found himself asking. 

Tessa put the picture frame back in the Goodwill box, “I was always kind of the outcast of the family. Didn’t agree with the military, didn’t agree with the police, and while my grandfather supported my critical thinking and my need to question everything, my grandma didn’t exactly appreciate it.” She gulped down the words, like each one hurt to say, “I was free-sprited, she was traditional, I wanted to be independent and make a life for myself, she believed I needed a husband to make sure I was taken care of, etcetera, etcetera.” Tessa paused and her eyes flickered over to the box with the picture in it. “And then, when my grandfather died, she told me not to come to the funeral.” 

Anger rumbled in Shadow’s chest. 

Tears slowly began marching down Tessa’s face. 

“That was kind of the final straw. So, I don’t really talk to her anymore.”

Shadow clenched his hand into a fist. 

He knew exactly how she felt. Even after they’d carted Maria’s body away in one of their black bags, he’d been denied the chance to say goodbye. 

Instead they’d shoved him into a cage and put him on ice for fifty years. 

He could still see the face of Captain Walters as he made the decision, staring coldly at him with little remorse. He’d been Maria’s friend. He’d been Shadow’s friend, and betrayed them both without blinking. It still stirred up those old feelings deep inside him whenever he thought about it. 

To know Tessa had gone through the same thing…

Shadow grasped her hand in his and squeezed. She squeezed back with a small smile in thanks. 

“What happened to your grandfather?” He asked. 

Her eyes clouded over and she stared out into space, “I don’t know. I never found out. My parents told me he was shot in the line of duty, but didn’t say why or where or how.” 

Shadow didn’t know which was worse. 

To watch your family die in front of your eyes because of something you did, or to know they died but to have no idea what killed them. 

At least Shadow had been given his chance for revenge. His chance for justice. 

Tessa just had to live with no knowledge of who killed her grandfather or why. 

Shadow wondered if maybe helping Tessa talk about it, the way she’d helped him talk about Maria, would make any difference. 

“What was he like?”

Almost instantly, she smiled. “He was…eccentric,” She chuckled slightly, “I mean, classic military grandpa, with his endless stories and strict rules, but he knew how to bend them for his grandkids.” She recalled fondly. As if a lightbulb had gone off in her mind, she moved Shadow back to the floor and reached up to grab a plastic bin from one of the shelves. This one was simply labeled ‘T.W.’

She slid it open and began to pull out a number of gadgets and gizmos that Shadow was shocked to recognize. 

A karaoke machine with dozens of old cassette tapes in a faded food box, a pair of brightly colored roller skates that tugged at Shadow’s heart, and dozens of VHS tapes and movies. He saw planes and horses made out of hewn wood alongside drawings and sketches of what he assumed was a younger version of Tessa. There was a big grey box with purple markings and the letters SNES stacked atop a black one with grey circles and a colorful logo. What she pulled out though were dozens of birthday cards, each with badly written jokes or funny faces on the front and a kind message scrawled out in black pen on the inside. 

Shadow opened one and a smaller card fell out, hard and plastic with the words ‘Olive Garden: When You’re Here, You’re Family.” On the back was the number 25 written in thick black ink. 

“He didn’t like to spend much,” Tessa replied, answering Shadow’s unspoken question, “But he always took me out for pasta on my birthday,” She said, smiling wide before leaning in like she was sharing a secret, “And he always had a secret gift for me. Usually an eight track or some souvenir he’d picked up on his travels, but it made me feel special.”

Shadow stared down at the old birthday card and found himself reading the message the old man had written. 

Dear Tessie,

Just because you’re twenty-five now doesn’t mean you can skip out on pasta bowl night. I look forward to those, and I know you do too. I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there and landing that job in Seattle. You’re going to do great things, I just know it.

Love you bunches, 

Grandpa Hank.

Tessa turned to face Shadow and the light drained from her eyes as she caught sight of the card in his hand. “Oh my god,” She mumbled, “That’s…that’s from last year.” Shadow held it out to her. 

She took it gingerly, like handling a bomb. He could see her eyes begin to shine as she read the message again and again and again. “This was the last card he ever sent me.” 

Something in Shadow’s chest panged. 

Just like him, she was reliving those memories over and over and over. 

This was the only tangible reminder she had of her grandfather. An ugly voice in the back of Shadow’s head wished he’d been given something of Maria’s to hold onto. 

You were, it replied. You had a whole room full before you decided to suck it all into a black hole. 

Guilt clawed at his stomach and he grimaced at the memory. It was one of the only clear ones he had left. Watching from a screen as the lab disappeared and his pain along with it. Or so he’d hoped. 

Standing up from his position on the floor, Shadow slowly crept back towards the door to the house, everything just a little too much for him to take. 

The loneliness and emptiness was creeping back in and he knew if he stayed here any longer, he would drown in grief beside her. 

Besides, he had more important matters to attend to. 

Baking a cake was harder than he expected. 

Shadow had never tried his hand at cooking or baking before, but it was simply following steps on a box. How hard could it be?

Turns out, incredibly hard. 

It required a myriad of ingredients he’d had to intimidate the cashier into giving him free of charge, and then he had to carefully stack each one on top of the other, making sure he didn’t go over the required measurements. 

His first attempt at a cake had ended up a flat, spongey mess that was wet to the touch. His second attempt was slightly better, but tasted bitter as he realized he’d accidentally mixed up sugar and salt. 

He was on his third attempt when the giant pink contraption he’d been using to mix the ingredients together blew up in his face, coating his fur with flour and sugar. He opened his eyes to see Daisy staring up at him from the kitchen island, her black fur now white. 

She blinked. 

He blinked back. 

Shadow let out a sigh as he realized he probably looked identical to the cat. He shook the flour from his body, but some of it still clung to him in clumps of grey. 

He turned back toward the box to see what he’d missed. 

“What’s going on here?”

Shadow tensed and caught sight of Tessa leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, eyeing the hedgehog and the cat like she’d caught them red-handed. 

He immediately deflated, his ears drooping as he dropped down from the footstool he’d begrudgingly been using to reach the counter. “I wanted to surprise you,” was all he said, trying to shake off more clumps of flour and sugar with little success. He kept his eyes to the floor, not wanting to look up in case he saw disappointment.

He’d failed at his task.

It was natural for her to express her disappointment in him. 

No matter how many times she told him otherwise, Shadow was still getting used to seeing kindness and compassion in her eyes whenever he made a mistake. 

He was still getting used to being allowed to make mistakes. 

Tessa crouched down to his level and pressed her hand underneath his chin, bringing his head up to meet hers. “You did this for me?” She asked, a slight quiver to her voice. 

Shadow nodded, ears flattening as he waited for her judgement. 

Her lips twitched upward and her gaze was soft as she moved to brush the bigger clumps out of his fur. 

Shadow purred at her touch as her fingers undid the knots and tangles from his baking session and she brought her forehead to meet his with a smile, “That’s very kind of you, Shadow. Thank you.” Her arms wrapped around his body in a tight hug and Shadow relaxed into the embrace. 

It was a gesture repeated often, yet it never failed to ease the knots in his stomach or surprise him with how gentle it was. 

His chest purred at her thanks and he smiled up at her.

He’d never been called kind. 

The meaning of the word had always eluded him, although it was easy to recognize. Maria was kind. The Professor was kind. Tessa was kind. Stone was kind. 

Shadow was not. Until now. 

His stomach clenched at the praise as Tessa stood up and surveyed the damage in the kitchen. 

“Now, how about we get to work, huh?” She placed her hands on her hips and grabbed an apron from a drawer next to her. 

He stood there awkwardly as she rolled up her sleeves and began to make adjustments to the instructions, the scene a tableau he etched firmly in his mind. 

It was almost enough for him to forget that GUN was coming after him, that soon all of this would be wrenched away. But as he stood there, a soft fluttering in his stomach and a small smile on his face, he suddenly realized what he was feeling. 

Happiness. 

It had eluded him for so long he’d forgotten what it felt like. 

But then he steps in beside Tessa as she counts out cups of flour and slices sticks of butter, the machine still spattering them in dough and sugar while soft music filled the air and it’s back.

And Shadow wishes this moment will never end.

They’re licking frosting off their fingers and dying it bright colors while the cake bakes when the conversation turns somewhere he wasn’t expecting. 

“My grandma used to tell me there’s no problem baking can’t fix,” She freezes, as if suddenly remembering her relationship to the woman. Her laugh turns bitter as she licks the remaining frosting off the spoon, “Clearly, that was a lie.” She mutters, although it is not quiet enough for Shadow to ignore. 

His chest twists as his feet dangle high above the floor, sitting next to their bowl of bright yellow cream cheese frosting on the kitchen island. He finally works up the courage to ask the question that’s been on his mind all day, “Why didn’t you tell me today was your birthday?” 

The spoon slips from her mouth and Tessa tightens her lips into a thin line, “I don’t know,” She confesses. “I didn’t think anybody knew to be honest.” 

Shadow’s mouth flipped into a frown at the statement. 

“I mean,” Tessa continues, reaching into the bowl for another round of frosting, “No one’s called me or texted me, except my sister. And well,” She paused, as if contemplating her next words carefully, “Birthdays kind of stop being fun when you get older.” 

Shadow furrowed his brow. 

He hadn’t thought about that. He did notice at the lab, the older scientists didn’t celebrate their birthdays with as much fanfare as the Robotniks did, but he just assumed they didn’t have the time. 

He couldn’t imagine Maria refusing to celebrate her birthday. Or even the Professor. 

But then Shadow thought back to what Tessa had told him in the car house. 

Her family hadn’t called her. They hadn’t communicated with her in any way. 

Maria and the Professor had had each other. 

They’d had Shadow. 

Tessa only had herself.

Perhaps birthdays weren’t fun anymore because she had no one to celebrate them with. 

The oven dinged right as an idea popped into his head. 

Tessa grabbed the oven mitts to take the cake out, but Shadow sped off toward the car house, looking for something in particular. 

When he finally saw them, his chest ached. 

But he knew this was exactly what was needed. Something fun, something to make a birthday feel like a birthday. 

“Shadow?” Tessa called his name, stopping in her tracks when she saw him return to the kitchen, a pair of roller skates in one hand and a long thick rope in the other. 

He said nothing, but gestured for her to follow him outside. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t as cold as it had been and there was no snow on the roads. Shadow watched as Tessa strapped on the roller skates with an arched brow, trying to decipher his plan piece by piece. 

Shadow simply smiled as he tied the rope around himself and handed the other end, which was tied in a loop, to the dark-haired woman behind him. He closed his eyes as he brought himself into the ready position, and for a brief moment ugliness seized his chest and clawed at his stomach. 

This was between you and her. The voice hissed. How dare you share this with someone else?
Another, kinder voice interrupted them. 

Do it for me, Shadow. Please. 

He opened his eyes and smiled, the distant crackle of lightning ringing in his ears. 

Without any further warning, he sped off down the highway, screams of terror turning into shrieks of joy as he flew against the wind. 

They ended the night as they always did, exhausted and collapsed against one another in the blanket fort, watching a movie on the television as they ate the lemon cake they'd baked that afternoon.

This time it had been Tessa’s turn to pick, and she’d chosen another movie made by the man known as Disney. 

The first one she’d suggested had been Tarzan, which Shadow enjoyed, but the second one he’d found less enjoyable. They hadn’t even made it to the scene where the mermaid met the Prince as a human when Tessa turned it off and switched it over to a musical about a woman trying to find her father.

It was a lot more enjoyable than the story of the mermaid and the prince, but it wasn’t Shadow’s favorite. At least not when he first watched it. The day after he found himself humming the songs when he least expected it, and while Tessa was at work, he put it on again. 

He’d never tell her, but a small part of him enjoyed the musicals they watched. They reminded him of when Maria would jump on her bed and sing the latest records.

Plus, the movie included music Shadow knew. 

He’d listened to Maria sing what the two main characters did, he’d learned to dance to them. So when it was his turn to request a movie, he chose Mamma Mia 2, begrudgingly humming along with a smile while Tessa sang, just like Maria once did.

He’d stopped when he suddenly remembered Maria was no longer there to sing along to those songs, and guilt began to claw at his chest for indulging in moments like that when she was no longer around. 

Tonight’s movie was not a musical, she’d told him, but it did include music. 

Shadow eyed the title curiously. 

Lilo and Stitch. 

It didn’t sound like any movie they’d previously watched, but as the movie unfolded, he found himself intrigued. 

Not only because it reminded him of some of the scenes from Star Wars, but because as the opening scene unfolded, he wondered if the scientists ever talked about him the way they talked about the little blue creature on the screen.

His only instinct, the fish in the lab coat spoke proudly, to destroy everything he touches.

So it is a monster.

It is an affront to nature, it must be destroyed.

And as for that abomination, it has no place among us.

Shadow could feel himself tensing up, his quills rising on edge until Tessa wrapped her arm around him and pulled him closer. 

“It’s okay,” She whispered, “It’s just a movie. Here.”

He blinked as she handed him a colorful piece of string and a box full of beads. His eyebrows creased as he watched her string the beads on the thread in a specific pattern. 

“What is this?” He asked. 

“It’s a friendship bracelet,” Tessa said, like that made any difference. “I make them in my free time.”

Shadow eyed the beads and began to follow her lead, starting with a bright blue and followed by a yellow. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he knew these colors gave him comfort. The movie got a lot better once they met the titular character. 

He slowly watched as Lilo’s life unfolded, learning about her dance classes and her sister and their troubles and the big man who threatened to take Lilo away from her. 

It made him angry and then sad and then angry again. 

But he watched the movie unfold, the slow way Stitch was incorporated into their family, the struggles he brought to Lilo and Nani, but the acceptance he was given nonetheless. 

It all hit a bit too close to home, and he snuggled further into Tessa’s arms as they continued to make friendship bracelets. 

You wreck everything you touch. Why not try and make something for a change?

Shadow stared at the misshapen bracelet in his hands, random beads in no pattern except alternating blue and yellow. He looked at hers, which was more put together. 

She had different shaped beads of different sizes, perfectly alternating with varied colors all within the same scheme. Tessa noticed Shadow was looking and quickly hid the bracelet from view. “Hey! No peeking.” She smirked and Shadow growled. 

He turned his attention back to the TV and dumped what little he’d made back into the bin, starting from scratch. 

He grew frustrated as his fingers were too big to pick up the tiny beads, but slowly found a loophole. He still kept the same colors of blue and yellow, but added a few stars. When he saw Tessa reach for the lettered beads, he decided to grab some as well. 

Thinking to himself, he bit down on his lip and slowly pieced the bracelet together, a sense of accomplishment overwhelming him as he followed Tessa’s lead and tied it off. 

He’d made something. 

Something good, something to share. 

“Happy Birthday,” Shadow muttered, his ears flattening as he held out the bracelet to Tessa. 

She stared at him, eyes softening like when she found out he was making her a cake. “What a coincidence,” She replied, “I made you one too.”

Shadow froze and stared at the circular piece of jewelry. It was black and red like his fur, with his name etched in beads. He continued to stare as she slid it over his limiter ring and snapped it on his wrist. 

Tessa then took his bracelet and slid it over hers as well. 

“Oh look, you spelled my name,” She smiled, examining the bracelet in the light of the blanket fort. She paused as she moved towards the other side, “And…Maria’s?” Tessa turned to face him, something unreadable in her gaze as her eyes began to well up. 

Shadow averted his gaze, his throat closing up as he tried to speak. 

He turned to face the TV.

Our family’s little and we don’t have many toys, but you could be a part of it if you want. You could be our baby and we could raise you to be good. Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. 

“I had a family,” Shadow choked out, his voice hoarse. “Maria was my sister.” His hands shook, voice quivering as his stomach churned back and forth. He can see the implication of his words fall over her as she stares at the bracelet.  

His heart jumped into his throat and his ears flattened, stomach dropping as he braced himself for the rejection that was going to follow. 

Instead, Tessa smiled, eyes shining. “I’m honored,” She choked out, “Having a brother like you is the best thing I could ask for.”

Wetness dripped onto his cheek as he leaned into her embrace, a fuzzy feeling settling over him as they let the rest of the movie play out. 

It didn’t last though. 

As he moved toward the guest room to go to sleep, the weight of the day crashed over him, and suddenly the memories of Maria returned. 

Of her skating behind him.

Of her singing and dancing and watching movies. 

Of her calling him brother and hugging him every time he felt bad. 

Suddenly, the guilt was back, clawing and eating away at him. Chiding him for enjoying his life while Maria rotted in the ground. How dare he call someone else sister? How dare he make new memories with someone that wasn’t her?

How could he even call himself her friend let alone her family?

What kind of monster was he?

The movie from earlier kept playing over and over in his head. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

Was he forgetting Maria? Simply replacing her with Tessa?

Was that what this was? 

Yes, an ugly voice in his head echoed. That’s exactly what you’re doing. 

He curled inward on the mattress, reaching out for someone that wasn’t there. 

Shadow turned and his stomach dropped. 

He was face to face with Maria. 

“I missed you.” She smiles. It’s the same one that Tessa wears. “Although I see you’ve been having fun without me.”

His chest constricts. “I’m sorry.” Shadow finds himself uttering, “I didn’t mean to forget you.”

He trembles and waits for her judgement.

Maria shrugs. He realizes she's dressed exactly like she was the night she died. In pale blue pajamas with her hair pushed back in a headband.

“Please, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” She smirks and playfully pushes his shoulder. He swears he can feel it. “Besides, I’m never really gone.” Her hand hovers over his heart, just like it had all those years ago, “I’m in here, remember?”

If Fate ever draws us apart, I will always be here in your heart.

Shadow’s body eases into the sheets, but the pit of his stomach continues to swirl. “I miss you.” He confesses. 

Maria’s smile turns sad, “I miss you too.” Her eyes drift toward the door, slightly open to reveal Tessa in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water, “I’m glad you found someone though. She looks like she’s going to be a great older sister.”

His chest panged but his lips twist upward, “You would like her.” He finds himself choking out. 

Maria chuckles and shakes her head, “I already do, silly.” She flicks his head and Shadow lets out a small whine. “Why do you think I sent you to her?”

The pit in his stomach settles. 

He’s not sure what to think of what she’s just said. 

Maria reaches out for his hand, and he can almost feel her touch. “Do you remember what I made you promise that night?”

His throat closes up and he nods. 

“I told you to promise me that no matter what happens, you would be happy. That you would continue to live and find happiness here on earth, for both of us.” Her voice is soft and musical as he recalls the harsh memory. 

Do it for me, Shadow. Please. 

He meets her blue-eyed gaze, the complete opposite of the woman sleeping next door, “I want you to be happy Shadow, just like everyone else.” 

His chest tightens again. He doesn’t know what to say. 

The door creaks open and Tessa is standing there in her pajamas with two mugs in her hands. “Hey, couldn’t sleep either?” 

He says nothing but nods in affirmation.

She smiles and he catches sight of his bracelet still on her wrist. “Come on,” She gestures with her head, “The stars are out.”

Shadow reluctantly gets up and moves toward the door, looking back at the bed where Maria is sitting up with a smile. “Go on, I’ll be right here when you get back.”

He nods and takes a step forward, following Tessa as she leads him up a ladder on the side of the cabin where the roof flattens out enough for both of them to sit cross legged next to a telescope. 

Not even thirty minutes later, Shadow is fast asleep on her lap, the light of the stars shining above both of them, just like they did on him and Maria fifty years earlier. 

And for the first time since he landed, the pit in his stomach is still.