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Every year the new entries to society were a little confused, and Penelope tried to be as helpful as she was amused by them. She was once a young lady sent nervously out to find a husband by some modest method that worked with the way she was dressed like a child but was trying to take on the role of a mature woman seeking motherhood and household responsibility. Looking back, she was a little reassured that the men of the ton looked at her silly bows and petrified expressions and did not find that attractive.
There were age groups that developed to allow for comfort to actually make the party fun. The old married people liked to lounge together and discuss the youths. The younger married couples stuck together in pairs, whispering to one another about whether they would have another drink or get back home to the baby. The happy singles were chatting and dancing. The drunks drank.
And there were subgroups, like the large Bridgerton family that was even harder to fit with all the spouses and the younger siblings coming out. Gregory was out in society, and his serious mind to the idea of meeting a wife was an indication he had been keeping track of his elder brothers and sisters. He made sure to ask young ladies to dance. He gave compliments. He listened to them and made every effort to be a good conversationalist.
He was being supported, but the plight of an unmarried Bridgerton man created a lot of humorous moments for his brothers. He was cornered by a group of debutantes, fumbled with his words when a question was voiced too shyly and he thought the miss had asked if he got eggs at college instead of ‘As’ for his grades. His willingness to please her had led to a confusing answer about breakfasts served in the dormitories.
Humiliated, though the moment would not cause any lasting blow, Gregory was taking a break from socializing. Colin had gone to stand next to him and give a good cause why he was not dancing. They were eating cake and scanning the room, sometimes speaking back and forth between bites.
Her husband was still handsome and kind. He understood it was no simple thing to present oneself to the world. Rejection was difficult, and the scar of it could truly prevent future hopes. Penelope had been in ballrooms for years but was not really there, and anyone who sought her would not find her soul present.
She was married several years. Her infamy was never going to be gone, but it faded. People knew she and Colin were not masterminds of gaining power in the ton. Their happiness had taken them in successful paths, but they would also have taken a way together that was less profitable. Their son was not born to gain a title, and their interests were sincere. It was not obvious that she was a dreaded figure to look at. And for a few weeks, she had fun with that.
She did not hide her wedding ring, but she could move through the crowd easier on her own. She was short and harder to spot. She was not one of the remarkable cheekbones Bridgertons. People did not immediately know who she was. And she liked to make a game of seducing her own husband in front of the whole ton. It made up for many nights before.
“Good evening,” she said, bowing in front of Colin and Gregory. “I see you are eating the cake, and I wanted to know if it is worth the risk to my gown or of having sugar on my face?”
Colin and Greg stood up and bowed at her, the younger man rolling his eyes. “Good evening.”
“Good evening,” Colin said fondly, his hand stretching out to take hers and kiss it rather politely for her liking. “The cake is quite good, though I cannot vouch for it respecting your beautiful ensemble or your pretty face. But I would not tell you to deny yourself what you like.”
“That is a refreshing idea from a man to a woman,” she said. “You are a progressive soul, Mr. Bridgerton. Does that mean I may ask you for a dance?”
He smiled, and his brother muttered something before disappearing from their company. He was happy for them, but it was awkward for him to see the flirting. There was a little group of hopeful single ladies near enough to eavesdrop. Penelope thought they had likely been lingering to see if they could speak to Greg. They watched him leave and seemed torn between finding a reason to follow and a fear of looking too forward.
Penelope knew it was not safe advice to tell them not to worry about their reputations. Her circumstances with Colin were unusual. She didn’t get anywhere with him romantically until she told him she was displeased and felt slighted. Had she known all it took was admiring his eyes aloud, she could have had him easily.
“I am a married man,” Colin told her. “I am glad to dance, but I do not want to give any wrong impression. I must go home to my lovely wife at the end of the night. We have a home together and a son. Had I a hope of leaving her, those scant days are long past. My heart cannot be given twice.”
The blushing debutantes were humming with interest, and Penelope sighed before she put her hand out nonchalantly. “Then I must take on the role of a rake,” she said. “For having seen you this night, I must have something from you. I promise I will not make you fall so deeply in love with me you would give up all others. May we not have a single, memorable dance to pass the time?”
She let him take her hand again but moved to hold his hand up to her lips, kissing the back of it genteelly. He nodded with a smirk.
“I am not sure we can have a single dance, but you make your case well. You must remember my honour. I am a respectable gentleman, and my own mother is in this very room to see us,” he said, pretending to look around with mild worry next to his mischief.
Penelope stood a little closer, keeping his hand up to her face. She looked up at him with sparkling humour.
“I will control myself, sir,” she said, taking a step back to guide him to the floor. “Do you trust me?”
“Oddly, I feel almost mesmerized to go where you call me.”
She appreciated how Colin stepped only after she turned and took his arm, letting her be the assertive party. She was always amused when people saw them making decisions because they always thought Colin’s stature must also put him as the forceful speaker. It was very equal between them, but he always let her speak first and tried to agree with her if she was being reasonable. There was no finer moment for her ego than seeing an old Lord’s shock when her husband acquiesced with her and complimented her planning.
The little debutantes were shocked, though they had reason. Penelope had implied she was stealing another woman’s husband to throw herself at him and test his resolve. Colin’s fidelity was faultless, but other men were not so reliable.
As a married couple they danced with deep eye contact and a little more daring to the way they held each other. She was a little closer to him than was correct, and he had a curl of her hair pinned under his thumb low on her back. They did not speak or struggle with steps. Without the uncertainty of unrequited love, they spun into the movements like they were inventing the dance and any step they made could only be perfect and beautiful.
“Pen.”
“Shh, the new girls out think I am a harlot taking a good man from hearth and home. You will ruin it if we talk about getting a new carriage or if we need to change the crops on the farms,” she said, licking her lips so the innocuous words were tawdry to their audience.
“We do get some extra use out of the carriage,” Colin whispered, his head bent down to her. “It won’t last as long as it should.”
That carriage had a good life and was one of their favourite places. Even if it was no longer used, Penelope would have it turned into a garden nook.
“Am I as beautiful as your wife, Mr. Bridgerton,” she asked more loudly.
“You are equal in looks, though one must have preference for one’s own family. Love is made of more than the surface,” he said. “She drew me in with our letters, and neither of us could touch or look until months later. I was tortured and did not know why.”
She blushed, but her face turned away from him as if to refute his sweet words. “You cannot love your wife so very much if you are not with her endlessly. Where is she?”
“My lady likes to mingle on her own, like a cat goes mousing. I am bigger and not so compact. She can get into places I do not fit,” Colin said. “And I carry her in my heart. It is not a choice to leave, but rather an option to live or die. And I am forbidden to die.”
He was forbidden to die. These Bridgerton men with their strange superstition they were going to die like their father at his age irked her. It wasn’t something she would allow to take away any happiness. Her husband was not allowed to leave her. Her son would have a good father. When she had been despairing of her ability to push out the boy and survive it, Colin had vowed to be the best father to Elliot up to their son’s sixties at least. Penelope pushed and swore and pounded a fist into Colin’s back and their child lived outside her with a great wail. But he did not yet know that he would have the most loving mother and the best father.
She was losing track of her little jest, and Colin was doing very little to keep any semblance of guilt. He was easy in her arms, his hands sure as the music ended and she stood back. “Thank you for the dance, Mr. Bridgerton,” she said. “Are you sure you cannot come home with me? I will be so glad to spend more time with such a fine dance partner.”
They left the floor and went back to chairs beside the little group, where the young ladies were clearly amazed to be seeing such a brazen display - started by a lady no less. They knew people might not keep to their marriages, but those arrangements were hidden and furtive. This was a scandal, and yet there were so many older people seeing and hearing everything and only smiling tolerantly. The proper world of the ton must look like a lie to them, for men and women merely had to keep their plots to cheat reasonably subtle.
“I am needed at home, and will be needed there for many decades,” Colin told her. “In fact, I think I see my wife. She is very beautiful. I wish you could see her as I do, but I suppose if everyone had seen her through my eyes I would not have had the chance to be her husband. Do you know she waited for me, even when I was undeserving?”
Penelope smiled. “She must love you like sweet madness. I think I must take back my request to steal you, for all you will do is speak of a marriage that has filled your cup. Were I to pour my affections casually, it would just overflow and waste.”
Colin kissed her hand and let her go. “You are a fine vintage, and to spill you would be criminal. Are you not married yourself? I had thought you were,” he said. “If I strain my memory, I think I could name your husband.”
“Oh, no need to name him. He is just my husband and I only have one. There is no confusion,” Penelope said breezily.
There was one blonde debutante whose fair skin was absolutely cherry coloured. She looked about to faint, if not for the show in front of her. One couldn’t swoon with such a lesson of the ways of men with ladies playing out.
“Do you not love this husband?”
“I do love him, but one likes to have a little adventure off an arm to see how the evening will go. Surprises are a spice to one’s sugar. Like your own wife goes mousing, you said? I think I will find a piece of cake and take my leave,” she said. “I also have a baby at home.”
He nodded, his eyes softly tracing around her face and down to her wildly expensive necklace of real rubies. Colin was gradually taking all her old hurts and fixing them.
“I had no idea the joy of a child of my own,” he said. “And my gratitude to my wife is enormous.”
“Well it might be, because many tall men put very large babies in their wives with no particular strategy on how they might be pushed out,” she said. “But my son is wonderful, and in just the ways that he takes after his father. It does add up to a fondness that cannot be broken. It appears you cannot leave your wife and I cannot leave my husband.”
Colin’s sigh was worthy of a whole play for him to act regretful and star-crossed. “I enjoyed our one dance,” he said.
He was looking at her lips, because they were tingling and she wanted to lick them. Penelope nodded. “Thank you for the indulgence. Have you spotted your wife? Should I flee before she pulls my hair?”
He looked around, changed his stance to be more upright, and bowed to her. “I do see her. Goodnight.”
Penelope did not move as he turned crisply and took three steps away before turning to walk right up to her and tap a finger gently to her nose. “Hello, Mrs. Bridgerton! Shall we find you a piece of cake?”
The cherry-faced debutante finally dropped, and her friends let out cries and shouts for help. Gregory was quick to step up and help to get the young lady to a chair, with other girls sitting next to her with arms through hers to keep her from slipping off.
“Oh my, we are too much for society,” she said. “You make too good a show and now you have befuddled an innocent young lady. Let’s take our indecency away so they can help her. We’ll send a maid over and go home. I want to shed my polite layers.”
Colin glanced to make sure there was no one in immediate danger. “I am not sure we wore our polite layers tonight, Pen. But you can easily take me away. The cake is rather good, if you would like.”
She looked at him slyly. “I am in a hurry to seek my bed,” she said. “I believe it is also your bed.”
“So that’s where I’ve seen you before,” he said. “This is all working out so very well for me. Let’s go home.”