Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

031 ASKING FOR HELP – therapy, making amends, “I’m alive, I’m just not well”

Isha pointed toward her mouth in an exaggerated fashion, tugging at Jinx’s wrist with her free hand until she had her full attention. Jinx looked down, placing her hands on her hips in mock outrage when she realised what Isha wanted. “Kid, you just ate… like 5 minutes ago!” Jinx quirked an eyebrow casting a subtle glance toward Vi, “she eats more than you ever used to, I swear.”

Isha crossed her arms, a mirror image of Jinx’s stance. Jinx groaned dramatically before flopping onto the floor. A series of mushrooms lit up around her at the soft thud. Isha continued to clap as Jinx started to fiddle with one of the pouches on her belt.

The movement instantly put Vi on edge. Her fists clenched, stance solidifying as her gaze zeroed in on Jinx’s hands. When her sister reached inside, Vi felt her heart skip, the familiar instinct to fight flaring but there were no bombs or makeshift grenades, Jinx only pulled out a few heels of bread, stuffed with some unidentifiable filling.  

“You going to barf if I give you one of these?” Jinx asked without looking up, her voice was teasing but held no trace of venom.

“What?” Vi blinked, caught off guard. She loosened her fists, flinching when Isha clapped again even though she’d been expecting it.

“Foooooood.” Jinx replied, dragging the vowel out far longer than necessary. “You know?” She mimed shoving something into her mouth with both hands. Isha, delighted, copied her movements with exaggerated enthusiasm.

Vi was stunned. The sight making her stomach twist. Was this really her sister? The one she’d tried to kill.

“Catch,” Jinx said casually, tossing a piece of bread at Vi. It hit her chest before she scrambled to catch it before it hit the ground. “S’what happens when you take too many blows to the head, Kiddo.” Jinx flicked the helmet atop Isha’s head. “Better make sure you keep this on if you don’t want to turn out like her.”

Vi’s cheeks burned red as she clutched the bread tighter than necessary.

Jinx glanced up at Vi, winking. A wry smile captured her lips. “Hey, never say I don’t get you anything nice.”

For a moment, Vi wasn’t there anymore.

“You guys eaten yet?” Vi asked, crouched on the edge of whatever Benzo had dredged out of the Pilt and dragged down to his junkyard. Powder and Ekko were sat in the shade beneath it, tinkering with something that had far too many wires in Vi’s opinion.

Ekko shook his head, trying to hide the way his stomach growled. Powder pouted, her blue eyes wide and imploring.

Vi sighed, rolling her eyes. “Don’t tell Vander,” she warned tossing them each something she’d swiped from the market. “Or Benzo, Little Man, I mean it.”

“Thanks, Vi.”

“Don’t sweat it. Hey, never say I don’t get you anything nice.”

Vi blinked, the memory disorienting. She’d been seeing things more frequently as of late. Plunged into memories with a clarity she’d only ever achieved in solitary confinement. She thought being out of Stillwater would stop making it happening but she’d been wrong.

She should never have left her cell.

Jinx and Isha stared at her, sharing a look when Vi seemed to jolt back into her body when her stomach growled. She bit into the bread and tore with her teeth. It wasn’t as stale as she expected, better than most of the scraps she’d scrounged up lately.

Her stomach churned, protesting the sudden intake but she forced herself to swallow past the wave of nausea. Sweat prickled on her brow, her body rebelling against the effort.

She needed a drink.

“Uh, Vi? Where’d you go? Isn’t that my party trick?”

“I’m just… Tired.”

Jinx snorted and shook her head. “Whatever, sis.”

“You know I got my ass handed to me in the pit, hell I’m pretty sure you saw it.” Vi jerked her head to the side until it clicked as if that was proof. “I’m just working out the kinks still is all.” The mushrooms glowed at the noise while Isha recoiled.

“She snaps her own neck and you’re dragging her body out of here.” Jinx nudged Isha playfully who shook her head around another mouthful of sandwich.

“Soooooo,” Jinx wrung her hands between her legs, “what happened to you?”

“I just… I don’t know, I didn’t see his right hook? Or was it left? I was just shit.”

“No, idiot. I mean before that.”

Caitlyn.

Vi stiffened, she wanted to close her eyes but in the dark, she often saw Caitlyn’s face. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She grit through her teeth.

“So, what— so you just change your mind about killing me, ditch your pig-fucker of a girlfriend, and I’m not allowed to be a tiny bit curious?”

The words landed like a slap but Vi did not respond. She was too hot beneath her jacket; she could feel her skin sticking to the dark leather. Her skin burned, feverish with the heat of withdrawal and something else. Shame.

Jinx leaned down, whispering something to Isha, who giggled and clapped her hands together. The sound grated on Vi. She clenched the remaining bread until it crumbled in her hand, pieces of crust falling to the ground.  

“Satisfied?” Jinx asked, eyeing the crumbs. With a wide, unsettling grin she leapt up to her feet. Isha scrambled to join her. “You know, kiddo.” Jinx gestured lazily toward Isha. “You two have more in common than I realised.”

Vi tilted her head to the side, unsure if this was about to be another joke at her expense. When Isha mirrored the gesture, Jink doubled over cackling. “See!?” Jinx slapped her knee, wiping away a fake tear. She held up one finger, as if starting a list. “Neither of you like crusts, despite hearing how strong it can make you. Two, you both got busted out of Stillwater by a crazy bitch with blue hair!”

All the colour drained from Vi’s face. She froze mid-step, her breath catching. The words felt like ice water down Vi’s spine.

Even Jinx seemed to sense she’d gone too far. She felt the atmosphere cool. Her expression dropped as she watched Vi’s face fall.

“You were there?” Vi whispered, her voice cracking.

“Uh… Yeah. Your girlfriend rounded up, like half the Lanes.” Jinx couldn’t keep the venom out of her tone, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. “Sevika and I busted them out.”

It’s all Vi had fantasised when she’d been inside. Being able to escape or someone coming to rescue her. Eventually the daydreaming stopped and she accepted her fate. Until a certain councillor’s daughter showed up.

Jinx noticed that Vi had that far away, glazed look in her eyes again, disassociated and distant. It scared her.

“They’re all dead by the way.” Jinx added flippantly.

“Dead?”

“Talk about a clean slate! Well.... except for all the, well the blood."

Vi was visibly shaking, full body tremors that Jinx was unsure how to react to. The sweat which had been noticeable on her forehead was now dripping down her neck. Something was happening here that Jinx hadn't accounted for.

"All of them?" Vi choked out, "the guards?"

"Who else!" When Vi flashed her a frightened look, she drooped her head, speaking more quietly. "Vander got them all.” 

At that Vi’s breath hitched, her composure unravelling as tears welled up in her eyes. She took an instinctive step backwards, as if she could run away from the force of her emotions. Jinx frowned, she’d never seen Vi run from anything.

A single hiccup escaped Vi’s lips and the damn broke entirely. She fell to her knees, sobbing violently with jagged, desperate cries. The mushrooms lit up around them, flashing as Vi gulped in huge gasps of air. Snot and tears streamed down her face and she began to choke in the panic.

“Vi?” Jinx called, her voice suddenly meek and unsure.

Isha clutched at the hem of her shirt, her eyes darting nervously between the two sisters. Jinx didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t equipped to handle this. She was a Jinx. She’d only ever managed to bring her family pain.

Until Isha.

Isha’s tugs grew more desperate as Vi gasped on her hands and knees, torn between heart wrenching sobs and choking. When Jinx still did not move, Isha ran across to Vi and slapped her on the back. Vi’s body convulsed at the contact, a strange, terrified noise escaping her throat. Jinx hoped she’d never hear anyone make that sound again so long as she lived.

Especially not her sister.

“Vi!” Jinx shouted, snapping to action. “Breathe, for fucks sake! Breathe!”

Isha looked up at Jinx, panic etched into her small face.

Jinx crouched down, placing a trembling hand on Vi’s back. Her metal finger felt strange against the leather fabric but she tried to force her hand to rub in soothing circles. Like Vi had done for Powder countless times before.

“Vi, remember? Like you used to tell me.”

Vi had scrunched her eyes shut, her breathing still fast and erratic.

“C’mon! Take it easy!” Jinx sucked in a breath herself, held it for a moment then exhaled slowly. “Like that. One breath at a time.”

Vi’s gasps slowed, desperate eyes found her sisters face, her expression contorted with panic. Her entire body was shaking violently as she dry heaved onto the floor. Her neck was turning purple as she continued to gasp for air.

“Vi,” Jinx said, her voice soft but wavering. She reached forward with a trembling hand and placed it on her sisters back. Even through the leather she could tell her siter was burning up. The touch seemed to break through her panic. Vi looked up at her, grey eyes wide and afraid.

Jinx gave her best attempt at a smile, too much teeth and not enough lip. It looked more like a grimace. The same expression Vi wore whenever she wasn’t sure how to approach a situation.

“You’re scaring, Isha.” Jinx murmured, wiping a tear from Vi’s cheek.

Isha shook her head vigorously, denying the accusation. Vi still made her nervous, but seeing Jinx so calm around her sister made her bold, gave her confidence.

“M’sorry.” Vi panted, arms shaking as she held herself up from collapsing face first into the dirt as she had so many times before.

She darted forward, wrapping her arms loosely around Vi’s waist. Vi flinched but didn’t pull away. Instead, she let out another sob before leaning into the small offer of comfort.

“Sorry, I just,” she gasped for air again, her voice hoarse and breathless “I don’t-don’t know what’s come over me.”

Jinx shook her head, her expression unreadable. “They must’ve really done a number on you, sis.”

Vi let out a dry, humourless laugh. “Yeah… something like that.”

“Were you really there?” Jinx asked, looking through her fringe. “For all those years?”

Vi nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you only got out because…” Jinx trailed off, the jagged edges of her paranoia sharpening. No longer was she trying to put together broken glass with bleeding fingers. She was piecing together a Jigsaw with Isha. “…that Piltie bitch sprung you?”

Vi nodded again, shivering despite the sweat coating her skin.

“I didn’t know you were in there.” Jinx admitted, almost inaudibly, guiltily.

“It’s fine,” Vi exhaled shakily. “I don’t think Silco knew either. Sevika… she was surprised to see me alive. I was supposed to be dead.”

Jink snorted. “Yeah right, when I meet whatever can kill you, I’ll keel over from shock before it gets me too. And Sevika’s surprised to see her own damn shadow.”

Isha pouted at her but Jinx just rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know you like the old windbag, kid. She’s still a buzzkill.”

Vi shifted, making a shaky attempt to push herself off the floor. Her legs wobbled beneath her, refusing to cooperate, until Jinx and Isha stepped in, steadying her from either side. Their support held her upright, and she cast them a fleeting, grateful glance. A soft blush crept across her cheeks, not from embarrassment, but from something lighter, something purer.

Jinx’s gaze flickered back to her sister, softer now.  “You good?”

“Yeah,” Vi replied, her voice still a little breathless. She flexed her fingers, clenching and unclenching her fists as if to test the trembling that lingered in her hands. Slowly she drew herself back together. “Let’s do this.”

Jinx’s smile was small but genuine. Vi found she couldn’t help but return the gesture, even if it didn’t quite reach her eyes yet.

“Told you I wasn’t the crazy one,” Jinx muttered out of the corner of her mouth, shielding the words from Vi with one hand and angling them towards Isha.  

Vi huffed a quiet laugh, glancing up at the ceiling of the tunnel they were in and wondering if their parents could see them now. She hoped they could.

Some things changed, but somethings, Vi thought with a mixture of fondness and exasperation, were destined to stay the same.

“Are we still sisters?”

“Nothing, is ever going to change that.”

Chapter Text

Viktor sat on the edge of a fountain, water pooling around metal that almost looked like it belonged Topside. The sight turned Vi’s stomach. She’d been up there. Relishing in the luxuries they had to offer while her people, her sister, had been down here drowning.  

The fountain now stood where a Sump shop once had. Vi remembered it faintly, her father’s hand on her shoulder as her mother haggled for tools. Now it was gone, replaced by something polished and foreign. The Sump had changed but deep down she hadn’t. Not for the better anyway.

Viktor dipped his fingers into the water, watching the ripples with a strange fascination, as if the sensation itself were new.  

“Pain.” He shifted his gaze toward her. “You know it better than most.”

Vi shrugged and the motion tugged at her bad shoulder until it locked tight, stiff and unforgiving. It was harder to fight when it got like this. Harder to feel strong. Only booze seemed to loosen it and she hadn’t drunk a drop in… She wasn’t sure how long it had been since Jinx had found her.

She curled her fingers into a fist, then opened them again, willing the pins and needles to crawl down her arm, into her wrist and fingertips, waiting for the sensation to fade into the familiar, terrifying numbness. It was getting worse, and she still hadn’t seen a medic. Hadn’t seen anything except the bottles still littering her bedroom floor.

She smirked, forcing it. “Whatever your selling, I can’t afford it.”

Viktor blinked, his smile too easy, too cloying. “There is no charge for salvation,” he replied evenly. His gaze pressed into her, like he could see straight through the bravado she wrapped around herself. “Not here.”

He gestured vaguely behind him at faces Vi recognised from the gutter. People who had once bet their last coin against her in the pits, who had drowned themselves in the same bars she had. People who had found their own hell at the bottom.  

Now they passed baskets of fruit to one another, wore easy smiles and clean clothing. If she let herself stare too long, she’d start wanting it for herself too. But life never offered her anything that simple. Wanting was a dangerous game.

Her jaw tightened. “Just help Vander,” she muttered, eyes dropping to the ground. She sniffed roughly and dragged the back of her sleeve across her dry nose. Her gaze flickered toward Vander, where Isha was tilting her helmet to feed him water. Jinx was watching Isha but Vi felt that her sister had been watching her first.

“Please.” The word rasped out. The icy creep of desperation sliding down her spine. She expected to be denied.

But Viktor only nodded. His fingers still lingered in the water and he dragged cirlces in the water as if he could bend it to his will. “You think the burden should be yours alone to carry,” he said, his voice softer now. “But sharing the load can help.”

Vi’s head snapped back toward him, her mouth twisting. He was still alone, perched on the fountain’s edge. A sanctuary built atop the bones of what had once been hers.  

“Then where are your friends?” She spat.

Before he could answer, she turned and walked away.

“That was ice cold, Vi.”

Vi was vaguely aware of Jinx trotting after her. She hadn’t expected her sister to leave Isha alone.

“You didn’t pull any punches either.”

Vi’s hands dipped into her pockets and found nothing. No coin, no hipflask, then pulled them back out again. Restless.

“Like you said…” Vi started when Jinx did not fill the silence. She rubbed at her shoulder, trying to shake the tension. Jinx’s eyes tracked her, careful and sharp but unusually patient. “…fortune cookie.”

“You trust him?” Jinx leaned close, conspiratorial, like when they were kids sharing secrets in the dark.

Vi sighed and her hands returned to her pockets; she toed the earth. Russet coloured soil. Soft and fertile. You could grow something in it. From the sight of others in the commune, they were growing in it. It was nothing like the desolate ground she’d seen the last time she’d been here… with Caitlyn.

“Got no reason to, but…” her eyes drifted to the gate that had not been closed since they’d entered, then back to the commune where people were paying them no mind. “He seems legit.”

“S’gotta be a catch.” Jinx said, head tilted to the left, studying her. For a moment, Vi thought her eyes had turned blue again. Powder blue. She blinked and looked away.

eyes looking to Vi as if they were kids again and Vi had a plan. She always had a plan. Yet now, her thoughts were consumed by the need to drink something.

Vi pushed back the dryness in her mouth, swallowing hard. She turned to face her sister fully. And just like that, the old rhythm returned. She could almost feel Claggor behind her. Mylo at her side. Their bond was back. A bond that had survived everything. It was Vi and Jinx against the world.

“They’ll respect us.”

“Let’s see how it goes,” Vi said, her voice softer now, low. “And if he tries to screw us. We take Vander and Isha and go. Go far away.” She glanced back at Jinx, letting a hint of vulnerability slip in. “If you want, I mean.”

“Think you can keep up with us?”

It was all the confirmation Vi needed.

“What did he mean?”

“Who?” Vi asked sleepily, rubbing at her eyes. Her body ached, stiff, and her temperature ran slightly high. She felt better than she had in the mine, but something lingered, heavy and wrong. “When?”

“Fortune cookie.” Jinx muttered, twirling her unloaded gun. “You know pain better than most.” Her imitation of Viktor was uncanny. Vi would have smiled, if not for the question which had the hairs on the back of her neck standing up.

She leaned back against the wall, head pressing to the wood. It was solid, grounding even though the floor beneath her felt like it could disappear at any moment.  Vi tucked her legs to her chest and exhaled.

“You saw it.” She said quietly.

“Your…” Jinx trailed off, words failing. Episode. Freakout. Bug out. All phrases that had haunted Powder. “What happened in here?” She tapped her temple.

Vi nodded. “Stillwater.” She said it aloud, the name tasting strange on her tongue. Inside, it had no name. “You said you’d been there…” The next words stuck in her throat. How did you tell someone you were tortured and beaten? That you had starved at the bottom of the same well Powder had died in? She dared a glance at Jinx.

Jinx’s gaze didn’t soften. She studied Vi, trying to see what Vi herself couldn’t put into words.

After a long moment, Jinx looked away, flicking the barrel of her gun until it spun lazily in the chamber. “They just herded people into cages,” she muttered. “I guess they’d lifted too many from the rally to do much else. I didn’t really see much of anything.”

“Processing.” Vi said flatly, “I didn’t… really go through it till later.”

Seven years.

Vi had been gone that long. And still, she couldn’t say anything? Jinx’s anger flared, sharp and hot, her eyes flashing neon pink. Vi sensed it immediately, felt it brush against the raw edge inside of her.

“Pow-Jinx, I… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Jinx leaned back slightly, arms crossed, eyes narrowing. “Start at the beginning, DUH.” Her tone was mocking, but sharp edges of doubt cut through it. Vi felt the way her sister’s suspicion pricked her skin.

“I can’t,” Vi choked out.

“Well, I can’t believe you were in there the whole time.” Jinx snapped.

“I still can’t believe I’m out.”

The silence that followed was unsteady. Tense. Broken only by Isha’s soft snore and Vander’s low, rumbling growl.

Jinx’s gaze lingered, moving slowly down Vi’s arms. The black ink curling across her skin was impossible to ignore. “Those…” Her voice dropped, almost accusatory. “You got all those tattoos in jail… then?”

Vi let out a short, sharp laugh, more nervous than amused. “You don’t want to know what I had to do to get these.” Her expression held, guarded and unreadable. Jinx hated it. Her eyes did not soften. She believed her but it did nothing to soothe the gnawing unease.

Vi hiccupped, pressing her palms to her face. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and stave off the incoming hysteria. “I need a drink.”

“No, Fathands, you need to tell me what happened,” Jinx demanded her voice sharp and unwavering.

Vi threw up her hands, frustration and guilt boiling over. “Why do you even care?”

“Because I’m your sister and you left me!” Jinx shout cut through the room.

Vi’s chest heaved. Heat and guilt poured through her like molten rock. “I didn’t leave you!” she cried, voice breaking. Isha’s snore faltered, but neither sister noticed. “I was trapped! I was alone! And I… I thought I’d never come back! I didn’t know if you were alive! Don’t you understand?!”

“No, I don’t!” Jinx snapped, springing to her feet faster than Vi could follow. She was suddenly in front of Vi, looming over her, hands gripping her shoulders. She didn’t shake her, not yet, but the threat was there and Vi almost welcomed it.

“Tell me!” Jinx hissed, teeth clenched and neon eyes blazing with fury and pain.

Vi sank against the wall, letting the world tilt around her.

“I was tortured Jinx.” She finally confessed, shakily. “I was beaten. Starved.  Left alone for weeks.” Her voice wavered, almost swallowed by the distant cicadas. Jinx had never heard them before coming here. They made her nervous.

“I don’t know where to start because it never ended. It doesn’t feel like I’m really here. I close my eyes, and I’m back there in my cell… maybe I still am.” Her words trailed, fading. Jinx adjusted her grip and Vi gasped remembering where she was again.

“Cait told me it’s been seven years since the explosion.” The mention of that Commander made Jinx tighten her grip, she was aware her nails were piercing Vi’s skin though she couldn’t stop herself.

“But I didn’t know. I didn’t know how long it had been. I could have been in there twenty years and I wouldn’t have known. I was—I never meant to—I thought I’d get out. I tried to get out but I couldn’t. They wouldn’t let me. I tried. I really tried. I just— They wouldn’t let me.”

Vander shifted beside them, nuzzling Vi’s leg and pressing against Jinx’s side. is low, curious growl vibrated through the small room, grounding them both. Vi leaned over him, clutching at his fur.

“I never thought… I never thought I’d see you again,” she whispered, voice raw and trembling. “I… I didn’t mean to leave you. I was trapped. I was alone. I… I didn’t know if you were alive.”

“Vi?” Jinx’s voice softened, young again, like Powder. “You… you didn’t leave me, did you?”

“I didn’t mean to. I never meant to.”