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Caitlyn doesn’t like hospitals.
Even with the best and most private room that her last name grants her, and with Vi by her side, she’s uncomfortable at best. She doesn’t like being a patient, being the constant focus of anyone and everyone that comes into her room.
Vi catches onto this very quickly, almost instantly in fact, seeing how Caitlyn’s broken body sharply tenses when anyone touches her, even to perform the most mundane and simplest tasks that a medical professional can do. It’s why Vi remains close to hold and to squeeze, to run a thumb over the back of a pale, cold hand.
I’m here, Cait. It’s all okay.
You can relax. I won't let anything bad happen to you .
Vi had heard what had happened in the final stages of battle; about how Caitlyn sat defiantly with a rifle to the back of her head and a blade in her gut waiting to be executed; and about how Caitlyn hadn’t even flinched when the trigger was pulled.
Now panic flashed in her eye anytime a nurse came in to change her IV.
After a few nights, Caitlyn admits what is evident, snuggled up as best as she can into Vi, who has awkwardly managed to fit in the hospital bed. ‘I want to go home.’
‘I know.’ Vi gently stroked dark locks.
‘I hate this.’ The smallness of the voice breaks an already aching heart.
‘I hate it too.’ Vi finds space amongst bandages and medical tape to press lips to Caitlyn’s forehead. ‘Once we can, we’ll get you out of here. I’ll look after you. You’re gonna be sick of me fussing.’
‘I could never be sick of you.’
‘Wait until I start properly fussing though.’
‘No.’
‘Yes.’
‘Not at all.’
Vi laughs. ‘I’ll put half the Kiramman garden in fancy vases and put them all around your bedroom. Your gardener is gonna kill me, just you wait.’
Caitlyn manages a smile. ‘I’ve already got the most beautiful flower I could ask for. You.’
Color rushes to Vi’s cheeks. Beautiful . Coming from her, who was laying in a hospital bed and yet still looked so perfect.
‘My Violet.’
Violet . A name she never heard anymore. It wasn’t that she hated it, it was just that nobody knew really it. Nobody really knew who she was, because nobody had wanted to know who she was in a long time. She’d been nameless, a number for so long. Then Vi. And, now , Violet. Because Caitlyn had asked, because Caitlyn had cared.
Caitlyn cares.
So much.
It terrifies Vi that Caitlyn does, she knows she doesn’t have a great record with keeping people that she cares about. Hell, she had already come close to losing Caitlyn multiple times, the last of which had very almost been a permanent loss.
But Caitlyn had fought.
Caitlyn had stared death in the face and hadn’t fucking flinched, fighting a warlord with a punctured abdomen, and sacrificing her eye for the greater good.
Caitlyn had needed to be sedated, repeatedly, because she’d kept demanding to see Vi every time she’d gained consciousness, forcing Tobias and her medical team into letting Vi be at her bedside.
And once in, Vi hadn’t left. A kind nurse had even arranged for a sleeping cot and extra blankets and comfy cushions to be brought into the room so Vi could sleep nearby. That nurse, Anneka, had been amazing. She treated Caitlyn like a normal person and not someone with a name like Kiramman, and Caitlyn had warmed to her the most.
They could ask her in the morning about a more realistic timeframe for Caitlyn getting out of here. That was then though. Not now.
Right now, Vi was feeling the fuzzies at hearing her full name said in that beautiful accent. ‘Say it again.’
‘Violet. My Violet.’
Tears pricked at her eyes and she gently turned her head to meet Caitlyn’s eye. ‘I like how that sounds.’
‘Your name? Or the fact that you’re mine?’
‘Both.’ They hadn’t settled on a term yet, if they were girlfriends or partners. It didn't matter. They were together, they were each others, they had each other’s back no matter what the fucking world wanted to throw at them next. Hopefully nothing anytime soon, Vi longed for something that was as close to normal as possible.
She wants the skin on her hands to heal.
She wants her body to no longer ache.
She wants to spend a morning in Caitlyn Kiramman’s arms, their legs tangled together under fancy high count sheets.
Vi knows the last one might take a while, that Caitlyn is still quite some way away from that. She’d undergone major abdominal surgery and broken half her ribs, just laying beside her would be hurting her if it wasn’t for the painkillers that were regularly pumped into her body. Vi would wait as long as it takes to experience that, knowing that it would be more than worth the wait.
No prison, no underground fighting, and certainly no wars.
A life with Caitlyn.
That was what she wanted.
Happiness, with a woman that looked at her like she hung the fucking moon and the stars for some reason. It didn’t make sense, how could Vi do that? Because for Vi, it was Caitlyn that hung the moon, the stars and created every motherfucking constellation and galaxy and everything in between.
Caitlyn falls asleep that night with her head resting against Vi’s shoulder.
Vi waits a while before moving, safe in the knowledge that her current dosage would keep her safely out until the morning. That or she was just a heavy sleeper, but Vi was leaning towards the current concoction that was keeping her body running. She slips out of bed, adjusts Caitlyn’s pillows and covers her with an extra blanket then kisses the top of her head. ‘Sleep well, Cupcake.’
She goes for a walk along the corridors to stretch her legs before dipping out for fresh air.
‘You’re the Commander’s girl, right?’
Vi turns to the enforcer that’s smoking a cigarette by the entrance. He’s older, with a beard that’s starting to turn grey. ‘It’s Vi.’ She wasn’t talking about her girl to anyone without explicit permission, she respected her girl too much for that.
Her girl , though. Her fucking girl .
‘You probably shouldn’t be smoking outside of a hospital.’
The man looks at the cigarette in his hand before stubbing it out. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s better for your health anyway. Thank me later.’
He kicks away the cigarette butt. ‘I’d like to thank your girl--.’
‘Commander Kiramman,’ Vi corrects.
‘Yeah, Commander Kiramman . What she did, what she sacrificed…she’s a hero. I know so many men who wouldn’t even sacrifice a pinkie finger despite all the oaths they swore. She was willing to give everything to save people. I heard she probably lost her eye. I hope she recovers well. The world needs more people like her, give her our best wishes please.’
Vi nods. ‘I will.’
‘You did good as well, kid. All you undercity folk did. Glad we had you on our side.’
Vi smiles. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’
‘And look after her. Poor girl never looked like she’d slept since she lost her mom.’ He pats Vi on the shoulder before heading back inside the hospital, no doubt to take up one of the various guard position dotted around the premises.
His words linger. The word exhaustion probably was of the few ailments that wasn’t listed on the extensive medical chart that was Caitlyn’s but it probably should be. There’d been dark circles that make-up couldn’t hide, a paleness to her skin that wasn’t quite right. She was still beautiful, god she was still so fucking beautiful, but she’d lost a little bit of her spark.
Understandably.
Grief.
Trauma.
Two things Vi had her own intimate experiences with, though also knew that everyone’s experience was different. All she could do was be there and listen and help as much as she could.
And, when Caitlyn wakes, suggest something that they both need.
‘How about, when you can, we get away for a little bit? Go on a vacation somewhere, anywhere?’ Vi suggests this as if she’s ever had a vacation in her life.
‘You’re not helping with this whole I want to get out of this damn hospital thing,’ Caitlyn laughs.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Vi chuckles.
‘It’d be nice to look forward to, though.’
‘Exactly. Where do you want to go?’
Caitlyn’s brow furrows as she thinks. ‘We have a beach property just outside of the city.’
‘Yeah?’
‘In a few months, the weather would probably be perfect for that.’
‘Probably.’
‘Though,’ Caitlyn runs a still shaky hand over Vi’s cheek. ‘This complexion…how much sunscreen would you need?’
‘Oh. Cute.’
‘You are,’ Caitlyn nuzzles the same cheek. ‘Exceptionally so.’
‘Where else?’
‘We have a lodge--.’ She stops, shaking her head. ‘I am aware. We have a lot of properties.’
‘Yeah, starting to realize that.’
‘This is a lodge in the woods. We’d stay there for a few nights every so often. I’d go shooting with my father.’ She sighs, her tone going sombre. ‘We’d shoot birds and…harmless little animals. It made my aim sharper but I never liked the sounds they’d make. My father always used it as an incentive to get a heart shot, to minimise their suffering.’ Another sigh.
‘Hey.’ Vi gently nudges her. ‘You were a kid.’
‘I know, and I…loved going there. It’s a beautiful place. Just woods that roll on for days and days, so quiet and peaceful.’
‘Wanna go there?’
A smile tugs at Caitlyn’s lips. She nods. ‘I do.’
‘Then we will. When you can. We’ll go for walks and get lost in nature, all that kind of shit.’
‘I’d love that.’
‘Yeah? Me too. I…I've never seen any of that before, y'know?’ There was a whole world she hasn't seen, a whole world that seemed worlds away when she was in Stillwater.
A thought crosses her mind.
A fear.
She stutters as she speaks, scared that Caitlyn is already thinking what she is. ‘That's not why I'm saying that, I don't--, I-I'm not--.’
‘Vi.’ Caitlyn softly says. ‘I'm not thinking that.’
‘But in case you are--.’
‘I'm not.’ Less soft, more firm. Still kind, still…tender.
Still, Vi has to say it. ‘I'm not taking advantage. I would never.’
‘I know you wouldn't.’
There's a knock at the door, the doctor making his rounds.
Caitlyn has tensed, yet she continues with her line of thought. ‘Believe me. I know when someone is taking advantage. I know the difference.’
Vi looks at her. Know that I'm different?
A kiss on the cheek is Caitlyn’s unspoken answer. Yes .
The door opens, Vi attempts to slide off the bed not wanting to be told off again for ‘impeding’ Caitlyn’s recovery, but Caitlyn catches her arm, strength suddenly finding her.
Stay next to me . Please .
Vi stays.
‘Miss Kiramman. How are you feeling today?’
Caitlyn looks at Vi then at the doctor. ‘Happy.’ Then back to Vi who is unable to hide her big dopey smile and the fact that she very well is on the verge of tears at the response.
It’s a positive interlude to something Caitlyn was dreading, the removal of the bandages that covered about a third of her face. The surface dressings had been changed daily but the pressure bandage had stayed in place. Until today.
Caitlyn's resounding silence the few times the subject had been brought up by a doctor or nurse said it all.
Like right now, as she picks at a cuticle as the doctor spoke.
Vi knew she wasn’t hearing a damn word.
Vi wasn’t hearing any of them either, focussing on the woman in front of her.
People knew Commander Kiramman.
People knew Caitlyn Kiramman, daughter of Cassandra and the immediate heir to the Kiramman dynasty.
Few people were fortunate enough to know Caitlyn.
Not wanting any more blood to spill from that incredible soul, Vi covered Caitlyn’s hand with hers. She knew for a fact she was in the way as the doctor set to work to remove the bandages but she didn’t budge an inch, holding on tightly to a hand that was so small in hers. It amazed her to no end how small and dainty those hands were, because those hands were capable of incredible things.
Marksmanship.
Hand to hand combat, a recent skill that could knock a seasoned fighter like Vi right on her ass within seconds.
Penmanship because, of course, the Kirammans knew calligraphy and Caitlyn was no different, her handwriting impossibly perfect with every letter.
And…other things, that Vi had only gotten a small taste of a week or so ago in that cell. Caitlyn was really fucking good at those other things.
‘The stitches will stay in place for a little while longer, we can remove them as an outpatient procedure once you’ve been discharged. For now, we focus on swelling and pain and I think you’re making excellent progress on both fronts.’ A nurse, the lovely Anneka, is holding a mirror that the doctor offers. ‘Would you like to look?’
Caitlyn shakes her head. ‘No.’
Vi looks over at Anneka, whose smile is kind. The mirror is placed at the foot of the bed, glass down.
‘The antibiotic drops can be applied by yourself or, while you are still here, by us if you like. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.’
Caitlyn squeezes Vi’s hand. Can you? Please?
Vi squeezes back. Absolutely .
The doctor and Anneka leave.
For a few moments, there’s a silence that Vi ultimately lets Caitlyn break. ‘How…how does it look?’
‘I’ll get you the mirror.’
‘Vi--.’
‘And I’ll show you the most beautiful girl in the whole fucking world.’
‘Violet.’ It’s so quiet, pretty much a damn whisper as she’s about to cry.
‘Cait, please. Please don’t cry. Now the bandage is off, I don’t know what happens with that eye when you do.’ It’s a stupid joke but it's enough to make her girl - her girl! - laugh. ‘Let me get the mirror. I’ll sit with it, you don’t need to take it or even touch it. But just in case.’ She reaches forward, takes it and places it in her lap. ‘It’s here.’
A minute passes, then another and another before Caitlyn finally gives in. She takes it, the abruptness catching Vi off guard, and looks at herself for the first time since she got injured.
She doesn’t recoil.
She doesn’t gasp or sob or tremble or anything remotely like that.
Vi inches a little closer, part of her face coming into view in the small glass circle. ‘You see what I mean? The most beautiful girl in the whole fucking world.’ She smooshes her lips against Caitlyn’s cheek. ‘And I get to call her mine .’
There's no questioning, no doubting. A weight is lifted as Caitlyn believes the words, words that are so true. The only thing Vi hates about Caitlyn’s face right now is the fact it's still healing and she can't kiss every single inch of its perfect being.
It's measured kisses for now, and she goes gentle as she trails along Caitlyn’s jaw.
Watching in the mirror, Caitlyn times her turn perfectly to captures Vi's lips with hers, another burst of strength as she dominates Vi's tongue with her own before pulling back, breathless. ‘You…are not so bad yourself.’
Vi bites down on her bottom lip. ‘Yeah?’ She looks at Caitlyn as she would've before…at her blue eye and her stitched together socket…then down to those tempting lips. Except now she can stare without fear of being caught, and now she never needs to wonder how they taste or feel against her own. They're hers.
Caitlyn is hers.
And she won't take it for granted.
She happily applies the antibiotic to Caitlyn’s eye at the regular intervals and, once shown how by Anneka, helps to change each of the necessary dressings and bandages. It's something Caitlyn appreciates hugely, able to relax under familiar and loving fingers, and after two more days satisfies her medical team enough that they finally let her go home to recover.
It's easier in Caitlyn’s bedroom.
No stupid monitors or machines, a much bigger bed, and no horrible hospital gowns.
The humor of them wearing almost identical, besides the color, post surgery tanktops that are readily available from the enforcer infirmary, isn't lost on them.
‘We're really that fucking couple already, huh?’ Vi remarks as fastens the buttons of Caitlyn’s black tank. ‘Matching already.’
‘Just for now. Can't imagine you in some of my dresses.’
‘Believe me, I can't either.’ She's sitting crosslegged on the bed, facing Caitlyn who's propped up by pillows. ‘I would, however, love to imagine you in some of them.’
‘I'll put on a fashion show for you when I'm able to.’
‘Please do.’ Vi smiles reaching out to brush away strands of hair that Caitlyn can't see have fallen over her face. ‘And those little somethings I saw in your underwear drawer.’ The amount of lace and satin...the mere thought increased Vi's heartrate.
‘Pick out whatever you want. I'll also model it for you.’
‘You might actually put me in the hospital, and I kinda want to not see another one anytime soon.’
Caitlyn laughs. ‘Understandable.’
Vi takes Caitlyn’s hand, removing the old bandages that had covered various needle points and blown veins before reaching for clean ones, applying them a very familiar routine.
Except, she hasn't wrapped her own fists since the fighting stopped. Pale palms and wrists and forearms were finally seeing daylight and they were, finally, healing. Caitlyn’s hands were more bruised and blooded from treatment than Vi's were from punching.
The last punch Vi had thrown was at a pillow when a nurse refused to give her an update on Caitlyn, unsure back then who Vi was.
Instinctively Vi had went for the nearest wall but caught herself.
No.
Caitlyn wouldn't want that.
Her arm was cocked, the punch was loaded. She'd spun and brought her fist down onto the soft surface. She was too embarrassed to apologise directly for the reaction but allowed herself to be checked over as a means of cooperation, hoping it would help her case.
Vi wasn't for Violence.
She never wanted anyone to think that.
Vi was her.
Vi was for Violet, the girl that kissed each of Caitlyn’s knuckles after she'd finishing wrapping her hand. ‘All done.’
‘Excellent job.’
‘I do have plenty of experience.’
‘I can tell.’
Vi pats Caitlyn’s knee before heading to the bathroom. She washes her hands, splashes water on her face then brushes her teeth. Unlike Caitlyn, who has a small fortune of different facial creams and serums and products, all things she almost certainly does not need, Vi doesn't have a nighttime routine beyond washing her face and teeth. She suspects in the not too distant future that Caitlyn will suggest matching facial masks and, honestly, she looks forward to the ridiculousness of it all, and will cherish each and every second.
For now, she makes the impulsive decision to grab the nearest lipstick and paint her lips - ruby red, Caitlyn would look jawdroppingly beautiful in that shade - before returning to the bedroom.
It doesn't go unnoticed, even from someone whose medications are starting to pull them under. ‘Suits you.’
Vi smiles.
‘Though it does seem a little unnecessary for bed.’
‘Not at all.’ Vi slips under those luxurious sheets, scooches over to Caitlyn. ‘I just…’ She finds the nearest piece of exposed skin and brands her with her lips. ‘...wanna…’ She's gentle, that's why it's just lipstick for now, scratches and bites and all that can wait. ‘...show…’ Its good lipstick, no doubt obscenely expensive, each print bold and vibrant. ‘...you're mine.’
Caitlyn’s skin has burst out in gooseflesh under her touch, soft moans escaping her lips with the kisses to her shoulder and neck. ‘Oh…Violet.’
Violet .
Violet lets Caitlyn fall onto her chest with a contented sigh. ‘You’re safe here,’ she says to Caitlyn softly.
‘You’re loved here ,’ she thinks with her whole heart.