Chapter Text
The blonde hero's already pale knuckles whitened further and tightened around the steering wheel. The sound of the car humming rang in his ears, the droning sound was all Katsuki focused on. Kirishima was talking—Probably something silly to lighten the mood—But he did not hear a single word. Katsuki, for the first time in a long time, didn’t have a single thought in his head. He blinked. His crimson eyes were glued to the road, and he blinked.
An hour prior, he had gone to his class reunion. Against his better judgment, and against his packed schedule. He made a point to gripe and groan to Kirishima every chance he got, saying how he didn’t wanna go. But he knew, he was excited. A few weeks prior, he had talked to de– Izuku too.
The memory hit him like a shot of caffeine.
They caught up over coffee, Sitting across from each other in the small, quaint cafe., Izuku had mostly talked, as he usually did, but Katsuki was more than content listening. He didn’t even try to interrupt. He sat there, staring, listening. The stupid green-haired boy ahead of him had not changed. His face was still freckled and bright, Katsuki noticed smile lines form in the corner of his eyes. He was still as animated as ever when he talked, there was a somberity on his face, but Izuku looked as if he was frozen in time. As youthful as ever.
All that was different was the jagged scars littered on his body, those stubborn marks of history on his skin stood out more than Katsuki had remembered.
Katsuki thought about how he was still the same boy he had died for all those years ago.
“And so, Kota is doing really well! You’d be surprised to see how nicely he controls his quirk, I always knew he could do it! And get this, he and Eri are actually becoming good friends! Isn't that so cute? Eri is also-”
Katsuki was looking right at him, he’d gotten better at holding eye contact with others for longer than a minute without scowling. A baseball cap cast a shadow upon his face, his head in his hand slightly tilted as he sipped his latte. “Hm. that so?’ he’d hum occasionally.
He was trying to work up the courage to hand him the gift bag that sat at his foot. The bag felt as heavy as the thought and money that had gone into it. How can you casually hand something that took 8 years of funding? 8 years spent thinking about him? But Katsuki was not one who thought too much about these things. He decided he’d let the nerd finish talking first.
…
An hour passed. Katsuki was on his fourth glass.
“And also! Did I ever talk about Takumi? He’s my coworker, and I was so surprised to find out he was the wind hero! He-”
He set his cup down with a small thud.
Katsuki knew if he didn’t stop him, he would continue for God knows how long. Even though he’d (secretly) love to sit and listen about everything that’s been happening, and savor the relief and gratitude that Izuku was the same, he had to give him this now.
“Izuku.”
Round green eyes meet his, and Midoriya smiles warmly. “Yeah?”
Suddenly, Katsuki felt sheepish. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. His throat felt dry and his hand twitched reaching out for the bag. What the hell? “Uh- i got..um..”
“Ah, sorry Kachan! Was I talking too much? I didn’t even give you any time to say anything! It’s just that I'm so excited we finally get to have a nice chat like this since we’re both so busy-”
“Shit- Izuku. How do you even ramble that much?” he didn’t mind.
Izuku grinned and sipped on his drink. “Bad habit!”. He adjusted in his seat, taking off his suit jacket. That silly nerd had come straight from work. “What were you saying?”
Katsuki was looking at his half-empty drink, swirling it around with the spoon. He was leaning back, horribly slouched, almost sliding off the chair.
“I..ahem.” He sat up, picking up the bag and fidgeting with the tag. “For you.” He pushed the All-might-themed bag towards him, looking away. He heard Midoriya make a sound of surprise. “Ah! A gift?! But I didn't even bring anything!”
Katsuki felt an anxiety bubble in his stomach. The nerd was nice, he’d never not like the gift. But something, in the back of his mind, irked him. He wanted to see his reaction to the suit, to see how he’d react knowing how long he spent on this, and how thoughtful he was. He started bouncing his leg, why were his palms getting so sweaty suddenly?
In katsuki's head, he’s never been able to get rid of the guilt. He wanted to see Izuku happy and see him living his dream alongside him. Katsuki had always been a selfish person, even after everything, how could he still covet Izuku’s attention like this?
The rustling of the bag made him jolt up, feeling his anxiety become unbearable. “I have shit to do. See ya.” Izuku looked confused, standing up with him.
“Already? Oh, that's okay! Kachan, let’s hang out soon. Sorry for taking up your time!”
Katsuki’s brows furrowed. When will this idiot stop apologizing? “Nothing to be sorry about. Later, nerd.” He pays for them and strides out of the cafe, taking longer steps than usual. He didn’t look back to wave or anything. Katsuki strode back to his agency.
He gave him the suit, that’s all that mattered. That’s…all that mattered.
✮⋆˙ 🧨💥, ₊˚⊹♡
Katsuki flicked the lights of his office closed, stretching his long arms. The weight of his gauntlets had left a familiar ache in his muscles. They looked badass—undeniably so—and their destructive power was unparalleled, but their weight was a pain he wasn’t willing to admit, even to himself. Prolonged use wasn’t ideal, sure, but that was a problem for another day.
Katsuki rolled his stiff shoulders to let that tension melt a bit, reaching for his hearing aids. He put them on, giving them a few seconds to get used to the soft hum of the world. Katsuki preferred to do his paperwork in complete silence, and he hated the feeling of the hearing aids anyway. The felt unnecessarily heavy, carrying the subtle weight of what he considered his weakness.
He slung his costume bag over his shoulder, striding out of the building. He made a mental note to give his costume for some repairs later this week. “I’m off.” He said out loud, to no one in particular, his voice flat.
No one answered back.
Making his way to the car, Katsuki walked fixating his crimson gaze on his feet. The night city buzzed around him, neon lights flickering. People walking blurred around him into nothing. He noticed people slow down when near him whispering. Of course, Katsuki was used to this attention. The fear, the awe, sometimes admiration but mostly contempt.
He regretted putting the hearing aids in when the whisper pierced into his skin. His mind was already occupied more than preferred. These stares and whispers were regular to him. The tyrant hero they said.
Tyrant? Katsuki would scowl. Just because he was loud, a little blunt and by nature explosive, he was a tyrant. It was ridiculous, and yet Katsuki had felt his fingernails dig into his palms. But he kept walking, his pace steady, his expression unreadable. Suppose they wanted a tyrant, fine. He’d be a damn good one.
Katsuki realized how pathetic he looked. He closed his eyes briefly and sucked in a breath. The air was thick with the smell of street food, car exhaust, sewage. He straightened his back and squared his wide shoulders. He shot a glare at the people who were whispering, reveling in how they scurried away.
Puffing out his chest, he fixed his scowl firmly into place—a front he’d perfected over the years. His crimson eyes burned with their usual intensity as he stared ahead, daring anyone to come too close. Now he looked his part, the indomitable, reckless, and explosive Dynamight.
He stomped ahead, his footstep as heavy as lead, heavier than usual. He didn’t let it show. He never did.
✮⋆˙ 🧨💥, ₊˚⊹♡
Courtesy of Kirishima’s meddling, Katsuki had been roped into chaperoning both him and Izuku to the reunion. The crimson-haired idiot had even made some light-hearted—though suspiciously genuine—threats to ensure Katsuki would comply.
“If you don't pick us up I’ll scratch the hood of your new car with my hardening!” He had said with an unsettling bright grin. Katsuki had scoffed, he knew better than to believe that moron’s words, but all these years of friendship had told him that he was serious.
And so the red-eyed hero sat behind the wheel, driving towards a certain green-headed boy’s house. Katsuki had this route memorized, not because he went over often but just in case, he told himself.
His phone buzzed, sending vibrations through the leather-clad passenger seat, He reached over. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before picking up, keeping his eyes glued to the road.
“Bakugo. Will you ask Midoriya before, or after the party?” A monotonous voice said, skipping right past any sort of greeting asking this question like it was the most casual thing ever.
Katsuki heard a tinge of excitement in his dead voice. Some would argue that Todoroki sounded just as blank as ever, but Katsuki had grown to observe and remember his classmate's mannerisms. Not that he’d ever admit it.
“Icy-hot.” He grits out, his voice low. “What are you talking about?”
Katsuki knew. Of course, he knew. It was all he knew right now.
Todoroki’s unimpressed voice seemed unfazed, “I had some decor arranged. I’m not sure when to bring it out. It’s green and orange themed, just lik-”
Katsuki ran his clammy hand through his face. A familiar pit in his stomach grew and he pushed it away with an annoyed tsk. ‘The hell do you mean decor? Don’t do anything stupid.”
He steered the car to the left, driving on a familiar street. “Plus, you don't even..”
katsuki's words got lost in his throat, coming up but falling back down as he gulped. There was silence on the other end. “Bakugo, you’ve been planning for weeks. He’ll say yes.” Katsuki didn’t like that he was being so transparent, even Icy-hot could sense it. The same Icy-hot who wouldn’t get a hint even if it was shoved down his throat.
He didn’t have the energy to bite back, so he hummed. “I’m hanging up,” he said, driving up to Izuku’s house. “And throw away whatever decor you have, I better not find anything like that when we get there.”
He didn’t let him finish and hung up, throwing the phone in the passenger seat.
His words hung in the still air as he parked in front. He’ll say yes.
Katsuki let out a slow breath, texting Izuku to come out. He wasn’t worried about him refusing—of course, he wouldn’t. But that wasn’t the problem, was it?
The problem was asking in the first place.
A few seconds passed before Katsuki saw the light of Izuku’s house close, and the green-haired boy ran out.
“Kachan!” he waved, “did I take long?”
Izuku had started wearing suits more often, a direct result of his job as a teacher. Katsuki witnessed Izuku’s peculiar taste in their youth, the boy only ever seemed to own bland shirts, cargo shorts, and shoes in hideous colors. Back then, Katsuki would poke fun at him for it. But now, watching Izuku in tailored suits made him bite his inner cheek. Izuku looked great in suits, but to Katsuki, even a change so natural made him queasy. Izuku’s style had changed so much along with himself, while Katsuki’s style stayed almost the same. Katsuki stayed almost the same.
It was too different, too distant. Katsuki felt exasperated even thinking such foolish things.
Katsuki’s lip tugged up involuntarily, “yeah. You always do.” he teased, watching Izuku sit in the backseat. Part of him felt disappointment that he didn’t sit next to him but maybe, he reasoned, it would be for the better. With the conversation about to happen, Katsuki wasn’t sure if he would be able to face him.
His lip twitched, and he was surprised to see his finger slightly tremble. He clenched them up in a fist, jaw clenching at how stupid it was.
Izuku laughed, sinking into the plush backseat. “Sorry, Kacchan! I had a few things to grade and I got caught up in them.” He smiled at Katsuki’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Katsuki immediately looks away, feeling the nausea rise. He hummed and started the ignition.
The rumble of the car filled the silence as Katsuki began to drive. He felt it getting difficult to contain his heartbeat. I need to ask him right now.
“Kacchan, are you okay?” Izuku’s worried voice reached him, and he hummed. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he says, despite the sweat rolling down his back in the air-conditioned car.
“You seem quiet.” quiet, huh? If Katsuki opened his mouth, he wasn’t sure what would spill out. He needed to sort his thoughts out.
“ ‘s nothing nerd.” Izuku knew when to back off, something he learned through a lot of trial and error that comes with being Katsuki Bakugou’s childhood friend, so he didn’t press. But Katsuki felt his eager, curious gaze linger. He pretended not to notice, as he always did.
He glanced back at him and looked at the papers on the dashboard. This is so not like me, he thought. Why am I so nervous?
Izuku, oblivious—or maybe just pretending to be—flipped another page of the tests he brought along, muttering something under his breath about a student’s handwriting. Katsuki decided, to hell with it. If not now then when? He pushed away the nausea, ignoring the sinking feeling before he spoke up.
“Nerd. I gotta ask you something.” His voice came out softer than he’d intended. Sensing the change in the mood, Izuku’s green brows furrowed and he sat up.
“Yeah?”
The leather creaked under him. Katsuki felt his eyes bore into his back, suddenly feeling dizzy.“H-how’d the suit fit?” he murmured. What the fuck. Why was he stuttering?
Izuku softly smiled. Something flashed in his eyes but disappeared before Katsuki could figure it out. He furrowed his brows. “Like a glove,” he said, looking at his lap.
Katsuki noticed something in his tone and the uncertainty of what it was made him pull over and stop the car. He turned around fully to face him. Izuku’s eyes slightly widened and he tilted his head in confusion. “Kacchan? Why’d you stop?”
“Join my agency, Deku. Partner with me.”
Katsuki looked at Izuku properly for the first time today, and he wasn’t sure how felt with what he saw. Dark, heavy bags hung under his eyes. He looked drained, and tired. The last time he saw him, he knew he was overworked. But he didn’t look this worn out. Katsuki’s crimson gaze bore into him, scanning his face. His brows knit together, the nausea replaced with concern. “Izuku?”
Izuku was staring right back, eyes wide. His lips trembled slightly, but worse of all, Katsuki recognized hesitation. He bore himself with whatever was about to come.
Shit shit shit shit..!!
“Kacchan..” he whispered. Izuku seemed to spend a while pondering. Katsuki couldn’t figure it out, and he found himself not being able to look into his eyes anymore. He turned around, grabbed the agency papers, and shoved them to Izuku.
“All you gotta do is sign,” he says, hoarse, “It's just like we always talked about, Izuku. Our own hero agency. We’ll be hero partners.” He felt his voice getting weaker, his heart thumping wildly in his ears. Shit!
Izuku blinked and looked at the papers thrown at him. He skimmed through them, silent. Eyes raking over the empty signature box, and right next to it, only Katsuki’s signature in red ink. The blonde noticed the tremble of his childhood friend’s fingertips.
Katsuki can’t bear the silence, and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying anything. He can’t fuck this up. He just can’t.
Izuku looked at him, his green eyes smiling softly at Kacchan.
“I’m... Thank you for arranging this, Kacchan. But i think ill stick to teaching.”
Katsuki felt a ringing in his ear as Izuku handed him the papers back. I’ll stick to teaching.
Izuku was smiling, but Katsuki wasn’t an idiot. He saw his lips quiver, his eyes slightly water. He saw the clench of Izuku’s sharp jaw. It seemed he had so much to say, but he bit it down.
What else could Katsuki do but start the car again? He nodded and wordlessly drove to Kirishima’s house.
He opened his mouth and closed it again. He tasted the words, what can he say now?
“Why?” He grits out. It sounded more demanding than he wanted, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Izuku was looking out the window. The lights outside the bustling city cascaded on him through the glass, illuminating his sullen face. Katsuki, despite the turmoil, took a second to admire it. The scar on the side of his face took away some of his freckles. Katsuki remembers feeling annoyed when he first noticed it, but back then, he couldn’t place his finger around why. He was never the one who could understand his feelings anyway. Part of him wished he had just stayed that way, blissfully ignorant.
If he had, maybe dealing with this ache in his chest and the endless pit in his stomach would’ve been easier. Maybe it would’ve been easier for him to keep his childhood friend out of his mind, to not lose his breath whenever he saw him. Maybe it would’ve been easier if he could drown out the guilt he felt whenever he thought about him. Maybe, just maybe, it would’ve been easier.
Katsuki felt himself getting stupid by the day.
He saw a knowing smile tug at the green-eyed boy’s lips, a smile Katsuki had seen an annoyingly often number of times. A smile that covered up any drop of emotion, a smile he used to guard himself behind walls.
“I think teaching is something I would like to dedicate all my time to, Kacchan. These kids are just like us, and I want to be there for them, as someone who’s been through it all.”
“But you worked hard to become a hero. Why.. I don’t get it.” Katsuki knew, better than even Izuku, how much being a hero meant to him. He thought back to when they were still brats, jumping and squealing when they saw heroes on TV. He Still remembers how they would dress up, chasing each other in hero costumes.
Katsuki remembers vividly the day his quirk came in. The untapped potential of it amazed even his little mind. Young Katsuki felt himself getting excited, “Me and Deku are gonna be unstoppable!!!” He would think, grinning.
But Izuku never got his quirk. Izuku never got to feel that excitement. It seemed little Izuku’s dreams were crushed before they even began.
Or so Katsuki thought.
Deku had the misfortune of being born quirkless, but he’d be damned if he let that stop him. This determination, and unwavering passion that Deku always wore pissed Katsuki off. Is he trying to get himself killed? How can he surpass All Might without a quirk? So Katsuki, in his own sick and twisted way, tried his very best to stomp and spit on his dreams to the point where they disappeared. The blonde was more action than words anyway.
He was always looking at useless Deku, how he scribbled in his stupid notebook whenever a memorable fight happened, how he tried to mimic certain hero styles, how his stupid, stupid smile never faltered.
Deku in middle school was more like All Might than Katsuki could ever be, and his insecure heart refused to believe it to be true. Even though, deep down inside, he knew it better than anybody else.
Deku was surpassing Katsuki since middle school, hell, even elementary. In ways that even Katsuki couldn’t believe. His insecurity swelled the more he was around, pushing him to the edge when Deku said he wanted to join UA. How can Katsuki let this happen? His pride was always a destructive point.
Despite Katsuki's best efforts, it was like the boy was never fazed. It was always like he saw right through Katsuki, and his gentle look, gentle touch, his gentle voice irked him to no bounds. With Deku, he felt so incredibly transparent that it made him push him away. Why did he come to save me the day of the Sludge villain incident, when all I ever did for him was make his life hell?
Katsuki could never figure him out.
High school felt like a haze. Not only did Deku get his quirk, but now he had an overwhelmingly bigger chance at surpassing AllMight than Katsuki did. And he knew that.
He saw that once weak boy break himself over and over again, all in the name of his dreams. Katsuki always wondered if they both looked up to the same person, why did he turn out so different?
To bring insult to injury, Katsuki's ideal hero, his role model, the man he wanted to be one day was so close to him, but he rarely got spared a glance. Katsuki knew AllMight didn’t mean to, and that more pressing matter with Deku required his attention. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
He wanted so badly to despise Deku, how badly he wished that Deku would change so Katsuki could hate him. But that gentle smile never left his face. And so, Katsuki grew conflicted.
Deku was the happiest in UA than Katsuki had ever seen. Finally, seeing him feel the excitement of being a formidable hero after all those years of suffering and finally seeing the wide smile on his freckled face, Katsuki couldn’t help but flutter in his chest. A part of him felt relieved, he and Deku could actually be unstoppable.
They went through hell together, breaking apart their bodies until they threatened to crumble against the weight of their heavy dreams. But they did it together. Katsuki could barf at how corny it sounded, but truly, it felt together they could take down anyone. And they did. Their standing tall today was proof of their endless victories. Katsuki began to wonder why he even bullied De- Izuku in the first place when this is what he could’ve had.
Katsuki knew Izuku like the back of his hand. And he knew why he refused. But he still asked why, he wanted to hear him say it.
Izuku’s smile had not faltered, and he sighed. “I know. But priorities change over time, Kacchan. Even if I can’t be a hero, I can guide the future ones.”
“But you are a hero.” Katsuki wanted to yell, but he bit his tongue. He bit it harder hearing Izuku's dry laughter, ignoring the metallic taste in his mouth.
“Not anymore.” He almost whispered. “Heroes aren’t….they don't..”
Katsuki’s eyes were glued to the road, but he knew what expression he was making. And he knew what he had meant, but he prods further. “Heroes don’t what? Finish your sentences, Izuku.” He spat out.
Heroes don’t kill. Heroes aren’t quirkless.
Izuku wanted to say, but he bit his words down with a smile. The truth felt heavier than the silence, so he bit it down. “Nothing, Kacchan..”
“Fuckin- Izuku! What is it?” Feeling himself riled up, Katsuki tried to focus on the road completely. But he was sick of this. This wasn’t them, they don’t hide shit anymore. Right?
“I thought,” Katsuki said, throat dry, " we were past that. W-we aren’t supposed to fucking hide shit anymore.” He bit down on his lip to stop it from quivering so damn much. Izuku’s expression was forlorn Katsuki guessed. Whatever, he couldn’t care enough about anything right now. He needed to say what he wanted.
“I.. just tell me why. We’ve been talking about this since high school, Izuku. Why..”
Izuku sighed. “Kacchan. It’s been a while since high school. We all have changed.”
“No, you’ve changed.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Katsuki had nothing to say to that. He took a swift turn, unblinking. “Are you scared?”
Izuku didn’t immediately respond. He turned his head to look outside the car window and smiled. “I guess. I.. I’m not like I used to be, Kacchan. I shouldn’t bite more than I can chew. There’s more out there who deserve this more.”
“But they’re not you.” Katsuki didn’t have much control over his words. He felt his mask crack and slip but then again, he found it hard to care. He was glad Izuku couldn’t see him.
“Kacchan..” he whispered, quiet and broken. Like a silent plead to not make it any harder. Katsuki ignored it.
“I don’t care what bullshit you think about yourself, but I envisioned myself starting an agency with you. Not some other extra.” He added the last bit to try to have heat in his voice, but it was devoid of it.
The night felt colder than it should, even inside the car. Izuku stared ahead, the headlights carving a narrow path through the darkness. He wanted to believe in the warmth of Katsuki’s fiery determination, the way he always burned so brightly it scorched everything in his path. But right now, Izuku felt like a shadow in that blaze, fading more and more with each passing day.
Izuku thought he would cry, but surprisingly, his eyes felt dry. He also always thought that he and Kacchan would be heroes together. It was undebatable, something so natural he didn’t even think about it. But ever since the war, Izuku had changed. And for good reason.
The fight with Shigaraki was the hardest one yet, and forever. Not because he almost lost his closest friends, not because he saw Kacchan die, but because of the heavyweight it left inside him that never did leave.
Guilt.
The life he took, in exchange for his purpose. His dream. Izuku thought about him to this day, how he had failed to save him. The world called him a hero, and maybe he would’ve believed it before he dirtied his hands.
It wasn’t like Izuku was never on the field, but the agency.. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t hold Kachan back like that, after all... He was technically quirkless again. He was afraid, why wouldn’t he be? Izuku sucked in a breath. Technically speaking, he realistically couldn’t join him. His future was different now, Kacchan had so much ahead of him. A life of glory awaited him, and he deserved every bit of it. Izuku was content with just watching, even if he was so incredibly lonely.
It wasn’t easy staying stuck behind, while all his friends sprinted ahead. He saw in them the life he could’ve had, but no matter. Izuku was happy with what he had. He had been content for a while now. When he saw his students looking at him with such adoration, which he believed was undeserved, with so much determination. He found another purpose to ground himself with.
Izuku Midoriya had moved on, and it was about time Katsuki did too.
Izuku looked at him through the rearview and smiled. Genuinely. “Kacchan, I’m sorry. But after the war, things have been different. I’ve searched for a long time to find a new purpose for my life, and I finally did. UA is everything to me, it was a place where I started to hope again. I can’t let this go. I’m sorry for being so selfish, Kacchan. But I can’t. Maybe one of my students can be your sidekick!”
Katsuki searched the nerd’s face and sighed. “Hm. If that’s what you want. But nerd,” He stopped in front of Kirishima’s house and bore into big green eyes.
“You’ll never not be a hero. No matter what your idiotic brain thinks.’
Izuku seemed to be surprised, eyes widening slightly but he smiled.
“Okay, Kacchan,” he whispered.
✮⋆˙ 🧨💥, ₊˚⊹♡
Todoroki and Kirishima were floored when they found out, but Katsuki said nothing about it.
Giving special treatment to everyone means no one is really special to you.
Katsuki waved Izuku goodbye. “See you.” He muttered. The other smiled at him and walked ahead, Katsuki knew he was going to find Uraraka. Katsuki’s eyes lingered on his retreating figure, something unspoken clawing at his chest. He wasn’t jealous. Hell no. But there was a part of him that ached, watching Izuku turn to someone else when things got hard.
His frame got smaller and smaller, and Izuku didn’t look back even once.
Not even once.
Katsuki sighed and went back to his car. There was nothing left to say, to think about.
He dropped Kirishima off wordlessly and made his way to his own apartment. Clicking the lock open, he walked into his dark and empty house. It was classy, and despite being simple it gave an air of luxury. Katsuki sat down on his dining table.
Looking down, he felt his chest heavy. His eyes found a magazine there, something he had been reading beforehand. The hero ranking. He had dropped to 15th.
He grabbed his roughly, crinkling the paper. His hand began to shake.
Plip. Plip. Plip.
Oh, he thought. Katsuki was crying.
He sucked in a shuddering breath, coughing when he choked on his spit. He didn’t try to stop himself, his hands felt too heavy to wipe the tears. The droplets fell on the magazine. He couldn’t stop looking at it, his vision blurred.
He hadn’t achieved anything. “Damn it,” he whispered, the words trembling as they escaped his lips. His voice cracked, raw, and broken, and he hated it. Hated himself for letting it get to this point.
His shoulders shook harder, and he doubled over, clutching the magazine to his chest like it was the only thing tethering him to reality.
“Damn it,” he said again, his voice barely a whisper now.
The silence around him felt suffocating, pressing in on him from all sides. For the first time in years, Katsuki Bakugo felt small. Helpless.
And alone.
Katsuki Bakugo had always gotten everything he wanted, but did he? All he wanted was to be number one, but he failed. All he wanted was to be with Izuku again, but he failed. These were the consequences of his actions.
His forehead touched the wooden table as he wept into it. No one’s really special. He knew that. Izuku owed him nothing, he was so grateful that he still even wanted to be around him. But this hurt. More than he expected. He knew he deserved this, but after everything, was it wrong to hope? To wish that, after everything, he could still be something to someone? That he could claw his way back to being the person he thought he could be?
Katsuki Bakugo let himself weep the rest of the night. With no one there with him to wipe his tears, he let the table drink his tears in the dark.
For tonight, the table could drink his tears. For tonight, the dark would keep him company.