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So, yes, Starscream found himself captured by the autobots. But the decepticon second in command was not captured in battle, sober and dented up by debris and enemy fire – no, he was captured drunk because he text-ranted his spineless ex at night.
Megatron was to blame, of course. Starscream had gotten fed up with his lack of attention, his idiotic decisions on the battlefield, and his cruel remarks. Was it too much for a mech to want some warmth, some gentle touches here and there, a praise or two now and then? It wasn’t as if Starscream was a needy mech – but Megatron was dull and dense, and when his stubbornness blinded him to his faction’s needs, to his sparkmate’s needs, then Starscream acting out was a given.
Yes, it was stupid, but not as stupid as his leader’s thoughtless actions, the culmination of which had gotten him to this point – messaging Skyfire, insulting his performance in the last battle, complaining that he hadn’t seen him on the field (or off) in far too long, criticizing Prime’s thoughtless use of his soldiers, etc. It didn’t take long for Skyfire to realize Starscream was simply bored and seeking attention, so he rolled his optics and tried to return his focus to the small party they were having at the autobot base. It had been designated the “belated birthday” celebration of the aerialbots. (These humans really knew how to throw a party – and they certainly threw them far too often; they never seemed to get anything done because they were busy looking forward to the next day off.)
Unfortunately, four different pairs of optics had caught Skyfire’s reaction and they started pressing him on who he was talking to. Worse, Skyfire decided not to lie.
“Starscream’s just intoxicated again.”
“You’re on comms with Starscream?!” Bumblebee exclaimed.
“How can you stand to listen to his grating voice, even on a holiday?” one of the humans joked. But Red Alert stepped right up to Skyfire, and there was no hint of a joke on his face.
“That’s our enemy’s second-in-command! As the head of autobot security, I demand to see your message logs at once!”
“It’s, uh, really not that exciting – I promise you, he didn’t send me anything that would be even remotely useful–”
Red Alert turned and appealed to their leader with desperate optics. “Optimus, we cannot allow one of our own to have unmonitored communications with the enemy!”
“I trust Skyfire, Red Alert. He does not need to prove himself.”
“Yeah, well, I wanna see what a drunk Starscream rambles about to his long-lost ex this late at night!” Cliffjumper laughed, making an expression Skyfire really wished had never been aimed his way.
“Me too!” Sunstreaker shouted, joining the number of mechs that were swarming poor Skyfire. He protested meekly but soon succumbed to the overwhelming peer-pressure. He uploaded the data to the base computer, knowing he was going to sorely regret this in the morning, even though he knew he’d said nothing to incriminate or embarrass himself. He tried to remind himself that he owed Starscream nothing.
The message log was projected on the wall, and autobots laughed as they read the whining texts. Red Alert grumbled as nothing useful came up, but Cliffjumper and the other autobots found great humor in Starscream’s complaining.
“Sounds to me like he’s still got a thing for you, Skyfire,” Mirage snickered.
“We could use this,” Prowl pointed out. “Skyfire, why don’t you ask him to meet you in person? We might just get a valuable POW out of this.”
“I don’t condone using Skyfire’s past relationship with Starscream in this way,” Optimus began hesitantly. “Decepticon or not, clearly Starscream is in a vulnerable state, and it would be cruel of us to take such action against him at this time. Besides, we are in the middle of a party for our aerialbots.”
“We don’t mind, Optimus.” Slingshot replied.
Air Raid laughed. “Yeah, if anything, catching Screamer would be like getting a gift for our special day!”
“Hmph.” Optimus said nothing more, heading across the room to speak with the humans instead. While his back was turned, a handful of autobots managed to sneak out of the base with a guilty Skyfire in tow, a secret meeting having already been scheduled.
When they arrived in the forest and surrounded him, Starscream seemed more amused than anything. He came willingly enough, slapping Skyfire on the back heartily for somehow having grown more deceitful with the autobots. Skyfire walked with his head down back to the base, while the other autobots took turns chugging energon and exchanging banter with their new prisoner.
***
The next morning, Megatron woke up to an awkward call from Optimus, informing him that his second-in-command had partied with his autobots that night and was now their prisoner. He had little reason to doubt the truth, but he demanded to see proof before he allowed himself to lose his temper. Optimus sheepishly sent him a video file – a video file , of all things – so Megatron ended the call and locked himself in his room to watch the entire two-hour disaster.
It started with Starscream insulting Megatron, then anyone who joined in, then Optimus for not controlling his autobots. Then the seeker gleefully joined the other aerialbots in a drinking contest – of which he was poorly outmatched, as he was already tipsy. Then he started flirting with some of the other autobots, going so far as to sit in Jazz’s lap. Jazz . Practically the second-in-command of the autobots. Megatron was fuming with rage as he witnessed his sparkmate slyly running his servos up and down Jazz’s chest with a seductive tint in his optics. Jazz’s arm was around him, one palm gently resting on his back, just between his wings. Megatron wanted to snap that arm off and watch it disintegrate.
He watched the video over and over for the next twenty-four-hour solar cycle. He then proceeded to leave Starscream in the autobot prison for six more days (supervised by Soundwave's cassettes at all times, of course), hoping the now-sober seeker was bored out of his wits and getting on the autobots’ last nerves. Then he staged a large-scale attack on an oil refinery as a distraction mission while Thundercracker, Skywarp, Laserbeak, and Rumble were sent on a stealth mission to the abandoned autobot base to break him out. Once Soundwave informed him that his SIC was safely within the base, Starscream was confined to his room for the next solar cycle and Megatron refused to see him until the next day.
***
Early in the morning, just before daily energon rations were to be handed out in the cafeteria, Megatron finally decided to face his troublemaking seeker. He came into the room unannounced, but Starscream didn’t seem the least bit surprised. He stretched upwards as if waking from a nap, then got to his feet and crossed his arms, waiting for his leader’s move.
Megatron glowered, his piercing red gaze relentless, but Starscream glared right back with equivalent malice. Time went on; the staring contest continued without a winner for upwards of a minute before the seeker finally caved in.
“Well? Are you going to lecture me?”
“Honestly, Starscream, I’m starting to believe you’re a lost cause. No number of lectures or commands seem to be able to write themselves into your memory banks. Tell me now why I shouldn’t have left you there in that autobot jail cell.”
Starscream scoffed. “Please. You could have left me there all you wanted; they would’ve let me go soon enough. I told many tales of Skyfire’s awkward school cycles to a very engaged crowd–”
“Don’t tell me how engaged they were. I could see just how engaged they were.”
“Oh? You didn’t like our little show?”
“You seemed quite friendly with the autobots. You should be professing your loyalty to our cause or accept your execution as we brand you our newest traitor.”
“Have I ever been friendly with any autobot? If that’s what you saw, then your optics need repairs.”
“If anyone needs repairs here, Starscream, it’s going to be you!” Megatron snapped, and in two seconds he had the flier slammed against the wall. “You’d better think carefully before you pull another stunt like that, because my patience is wearing thin. I might just terminate you myself before you get the chance to see another autobot faceplate again, if you cannot prove yourself worthy of our cause.”
“I am more worthy than any of your pathetic followers,” Starscream sneered.
“All you are as of late is a problem.”
Starscream’s wings flickered angrily. “Oh, and what is your solution, Lord Megatron? Tired of letting me spread my wings when you haven’t commanded it? Are you going to frame me up on the wall and strip me of all my freedom now?”
“A surprisingly good idea out of you, for once. It would keep you out of trouble.”
“Because that’s just what you want – a quiet shiny trophy conjunx, just like all those functionalists you fought oh so hard against at the start of the war.” Starscream snarled. “And that’s just what any sparklings between us would be, too – pitiful trophy newsparks for you to backhand and insult in private to let off some steam.”
Megatron twitched. Finally they were getting somewhere, but this was not what he anticipated. “Starscream–”
“You’ll never care about anyone or anything except defeating the noble Optimus Prime . You might as well go conjunx him right now and end this blasted war, because we all know you don’t care about our cause any more than Prime himself cares about you!”
“I’m warning you–”
“Go on, then, hit me. Execute me. At least then your threats would carry some meaning,” he spat. “And then I won’t have to be shackled by you for all of eternity as nothing more than your pathetic frag toy. I’d rather you kill me right now.”
A silence fell between them, Starscream’s sharp, challenging glare never wavering for a moment. Megatron stared at him, his expression unchanging, for several moments, until finally he pulled back, releasing Starscream from the wall. The seeker rotated his shoulders and flexed his wings with a low groan, only to be pulled gasping into an unexpected kiss.
Megatron’s arm came up behind him, supporting his back with a gentleness he hadn’t shown in a long time. Starscream was too confused to react, to reciprocate the kiss with as much passion as was put into it, and too soon Megatron pulled away with a heavy sigh.
“As long as I shall live, you will never be so debased as to be someone’s frag toy, nor their trophy conjunx. You have my word.”
Starscream felt his tanks shudder involuntarily, puzzled by the sudden sincerity in Megatron’s voice.
“But the more you place yourself in these dangerous situations for my attention – the more you place yourself out of my reach – the more difficult you make it for me to keep you safe,” Megatron said in a low voice. “They may be autobots under Optimus Prime, but that does not make them all so spineless and starry-eyed. If two or more of them had decided to take advantage of you while you were indisposed, I would not have been able to come to your aid in time. You could have been… irreparably damaged. And that is a truth I must face every time you slip from my servos.”
Starscream’s frame felt cold. He shook his wings adamantly. “I am not so weak–”
“No, Starscream. You are many things, but not weak. Yet you remain a source of temptation, and with temptation comes desperation, and from desperation comes unprecedented strength.” He looked away. “You were intoxicated, and letting those autobots put their hands on you – Did you not stop to think for a moment that, under the same influence, they might have wanted to do worse? Or did you merely think of it as a game, as a way to taunt me from behind bars, without thinking of the consequences?”
“The autobots are too soft-hearted–”
“You know they are not all like that.”
“They would never do such a thing under surveillance. There were cameras–”
“You don’t think some of them would have wanted a recording?”
Starscream shuddered again, and Megatron pulled him back into an embrace. “You say I want you to be a quiet trophy conjunx, but that is not the case. If that was what I wanted, I would have targeted Thundercracker or Dirge as my partner.” Starscream snorted at the thought of it. “And yet I chose you, because you are swift and powerful, because you are an intellectual match for me with your neverending schemes and trickery, because our banter keeps me entertained through cycles of boredom, and because you are the most striking figure I have ever laid optics on. There is no other match. And if you think I would not treat our hypothetical sparklings like the princes or princesses they would be, then you are sorely mistaken and have learned nothing over the years.” Megatron gently stroked his wings. “I am the decepticon leader. I have endless responsibilities, and I may fail to give you everything you want until the end of this war. But do not think you have become nothing to me. I remain entranced by you, my dear Starscream; you are still my one and only obsession, not war, not Prime, and if I hear you say you’d rather be terminated at my hand than be my sparkmate and carry my sparklings, then I will have lost every last chance at happiness.”
Starscream rolled his optics, purring involuntarily from his lover’s touch. Finally , the kind of attention he’d been looking for. “Psh, too much poetry. I was just being dramatic; shut up and kiss me already.”