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If there’s anyone who understands that healing is a process that takes time and patience, It’s Jay Garcia.
Even so.
It’s been two weeks since his run in with ‘fear toxin’. The nightmares haven’t stopped, and in spite of his best attempts, he’s still jumpier than usual. He can’t leave the house without Darcy by his side, and while that’s technically her purpose he still doesn’t like the fact that he can’t seem to get through his basic day to day functions on his own.
Penny says it’s to be expected. Jay thinks it’s unfair that he has to expect to take a solid ten steps back in his already frustrating journey to recovery. His friends say he should just be glad that he’s still alive to take the steps at all.
Penny and his friends are right, of course. So is he, but it’s far more important that they are, in the end.
Which is why, against his better judgment - judgment that is telling him he’d be far safer happier curled up on his couch and reading a good book by himself on this Saturday morning - he’s walking down the sidewalk with Darcy in tow, heading for the neighborhood bookshop to meet up with Jess and the others. They have a test to study for. British Literature, which is Jay’s specialty according to Vic, which is how they guilted him into coming.
Darcy presses against Jay’s leg as they turn onto the next street, pulling him out of his wandering thoughts. He loves his friends, loves spending time with them.
It’s just a bookshop.
Surely two weeks is long enough to be able to ignore the crawling sensation of eyes on him every time he leaves the house.
—
—
Dick has never been the most logical man in the world. He’s smart, don’t get him wrong, but sometimes he’s also sporadic and rash and impulsive. Bruce used to get on him for it, for the way he often acted before he really thought things through. Technically, Bruce still gets on him for it. Dick is just better at ignoring him these days.
Bruce would bench him for this one if he could. If he knew.
Then again, if Bruce knew, Dick thinks he’d be right here with him.
But Dick is reckless, when it comes down to it, and even more so when it comes to anything to do with Jason Todd. He wasn’t always. He was an awful brother when Bruce first brought Jason into the family. Dick isn’t even sure if he should have been considered a brother back then. He and Bruce were on such bad terms, and he didn’t even live at the manor anymore. He took so much of that out on Jason… Of course, time changed all that. He was better, eventually. He loved the kid, by the end.
His death ripped Dick and Bruce apart all over again. With Tim around, they’ve both gotten better, but there’s still a hole, gaping and ragged and ugly, teeming with guilt that neither of them feel capable of cleaning up these days. It’s easier to ignore it.
If only he still could.
Barbara would normally tell him to back away from a plan like this, but this time, Dick can at least say it was her idea to begin with. Hell, she even helped him with Bruce, spinning a story to him about work giving Dick some time off and Dick taking advantage of it to go visit Wally. And of course Wally will cover for him if Bruce calls. Wally always covers for him.
Dick doesn’t think much about all of that once he arrives in Virginia. Quantico itself is an incredibly small town, which makes it easy to walk around and pretend to just sightsee. After living most of his life in big cities like Gotham and Bludhaven, there’s no denying the charm of a place like this, even when it’s adjacent to a city just as large and chaotic as what he’s used to back home.
Ultimately in the end, though, it isn’t the city that leaves Dick breathless only a few hours into the morning of his third day.
No, what punches the air out of his lungs, squeezing them until he’s left gasping, is the sight of Jason Todd just across the street. He’s outside of a bookshop with a large but clearly well-behaved German Shepherd at his side, and for a long moment, Dick forgets how to walk. His knees are locked, his feet glued to the sidewalk.
It doesn’t matter what logic tells him.
Logically, Dick knows that the boy across the street cannot possibly be his little brother, because he’s Penelope Garcia’s little brother. Logically, Jason Todd is dead and has been for over two years now. Logically… Logically, Dick knows that this is wrong. He should turn around now that he’s seen what he technically came for - Jay Garcia, back on his feet after his run in with fear toxin those few weeks ago.
And yet…
Yet…
He finds his feet moving him across the street before he can stop himself. He tells himself that it’s because Jay looks distressed, that he looks uncomfortable with whatever is going on with the staff member at the door of the bookshop, but Dick knows that every step is more selfish than the last.
He just wants to see his little brother–
“I’m sorry, but you can’t bring your dog into the shop.”
Dick tenses at the woman’s stern voice, brow furrowing as the situation untangles in his mind.
Ah.
Even from here, Dick can see the pull of Jay Garcia’s shoulders, how tightly wound his entire body is from the discomfort of the confrontation. He gestures towards the dog sitting at attention beside him, and even though Dick takes note of the work vest right away, it’s clear that the employee either hasn’t noticed or is blatantly ignoring it.
“I get that she’s being good,” the woman continues, though she doesn’t sound particularly understanding. Her arms are crossed and her whole demeanor screams that she’s absolutely done. “But that doesn’t change the store rules. You’ll have to come back another time, without the dog.”
Dick can’t take it. As soon as he’s within range, he has to speak up.
“You know it’s illegal to turn away service dogs, right, Miss?” He keeps his face the picture of innocence, head tilted ever so slightly and eyes wide with feigned disbelief.
The woman looks up with a start, while Jay nearly jumps out of his skin as he turns around. His free hand is half up, raised in a defensive stance until he catches himself. Dick watches as a flurry of emotions crosses Jay’s face in the split second it takes for his hand to lower, but Dick can’t put a name to any of them in a way that makes sense.
“I–” The woman stutters as her eyes quickly pass over Dick as though she’s trying to decide if she knows who the hell he is or not.
“Look, I’m just doing my job,” she continues after a moment, voice hard and unwavering. “People can buy those vests on Amazon these days, they don’t mean a damn thing.”
Jay turns his attention back to her with a violent glare, having apparently decided that Dick isn’t the active threat right now. “It’s real,” he snaps, and Dick is almost shocked to hear how hoarse his voice is even with just two words.
Dick shakes the surprise off as best he can. “Either way, the validity isn’t yours to judge. The dog has a work vest, and anyone with eyes can see that it’s real considering they haven’t jumped you for being a judgmental ass.”
Jay snorts in surprise and is quick to stifle it, although Dick can once again feel himself being stared at. He supposes it’s only fair. He stared first.
The worker’s face burns red, and although Dick can’t tell if it’s from anger or embarrassment, he doesn’t particularly care either. Regardless of who Jay Garcia turns out to be, no one should be treated like this. Her eyes dart between the two of them before she finally relents with a groan.
“Fine,” she practically spits. “But if that dog even so much as barks, don’t expect to get to stay.”
“Thank you,” Dick says with as much fake kindness as he can muster before gingerly ushering Jay and himself towards the entrance once she steps aside.
Jay turns his glare back on the woman as he passes, but Dick is pretty sure he’s the only one who catches the kid sticking his tongue out at her, too.
—
—
Jay doesn’t know why the guy is helping him, but that doesn’t mean he’s not grateful for it. His words are far and few today, and while his friends understand that, he knows the workers here can’t possibly - and it’s not like Darcy can explain it for him.
So he’s glad the random passerby came over and said something. He is. But now the guy has followed him into the bookshop and is looking at him like… Well, like he’s seeing a ghost or something. Which is weird.
But what’s weirder is that Jay can’t help but stare back a little, too. Something about the guy is familiar, even though it’s not in a way that Jay can make any sense of. Realistically he knows he’s never met the man, and yet…
“Thanks,” Jay makes himself say before dragging his eyes away. He’s really got to back off with the staring thing. Penny says it makes people uncomfortable.
The man smiles at him but it’s nothing like the sparkling smile he used earlier when he was dealing with the employee. This smile is strained. It looks like it hurts.
But, compared to the one outside, it also looks real.
After a moment, the man shakes his head and the smile is more convincing. “Don’t mention it. Stuff like that drives me crazy.”
Jay raises a brow but doesn’t question it. For a moment, quiet descends again as he continues his way to the back area of the shop where he usually meets his friends - but his steps drag as the man continues to tag along, and continues to stare the whole way.
He pauses his steps, grimacing with confusion as he looks at him again. “Do I know you? Is that why you helped me?”
The man freezes alongside him, mouth gaping as he stops himself from answering right away. Jay practically sees him weighing his responses before he settles on one. “My name is Dick–”
Jay snorts without meaning too, unable to keep the amused smile off his face even when the one on the man’s face turns sad again.
“I know, I know.” Dick chuckles, dropping his eyes from Jay’s face. “I know your sister. Penelope. I…was around, when you saved those people from the fear toxin in the park. I was at the hospital with you guys for a little.”
It doesn’t feel like a lie, but it doesn’t feel like the truth either. A half-truth, then. He’s leaving something out, clearly, but all Jay can think to say is, “Oh,” and his shoulders relax almost subconsciously.
“I recognized you from across the street,” Dick goes on to explain, and Jay can’t shake the feeling that he’s still skirting the truth somehow. “I got so caught up in the fact that you were up on your feet after all that and I had to come over and talk to you, but then I heard what she was saying…”
He trails off before chucking apologetically. “I’m sorry. Guess it’s pretty weird when I try to explain it all out loud, huh?”
Jay hesitates. It is weird. It is.
But hasn’t Dick always been weird?
He blinks away the thought, gone as quickly as it came, and shrugs. “Yeah, kinda.” He glances down to Darcy, who’s sitting happily at his side. Her tail wags once when she makes eye contact with him, and something relaxes in his chest.
Whoever Dick is, whether he’s telling the whole truth or not, Jay doesn’t think he’s any kind of threat. Darcy would tell him right away if he was.
Dick shifts his weight as the pause in conversation reaches the moment just before ‘awkward’, and then he quickly reaches for his pocket and pulls out a little notepad. It has a tiny pen attached, which he takes off and then starts to scribble with.
“Here, um,” he stumbles over his words. “I’m from Gotham, I’ve had a run in or two with fear toxin myself. So, if you need to talk to someone who gets it...”
He trails off as he rips the page out and offers it to Jay, smiling once again. It’s not as sad this time. In fact, Jay would say there’s something almost hopeful about it, but he can’t really say why.
“My number, and my, uh–my email.”
And then, despite how strange the whole thing is, Jay can’t help but meet his hand halfway to take the paper. Relief spreads over Dick’s face as Jay carefully folds the paper perfectly in half and tucks it into his own pocket.
Honestly, Jay isn’t sure why he takes it, just like he isn’t sure why Dick really offers it in the first place. Regardless of their apparently similar experience, it’s weak reasoning. And yet…
Yet, yet, yet…
Dick smiles at him again and then takes a step back, tucking his hands into his pockets alongside the little notepad and pen. “Feel free to call me if you need someone to talk to. Or email or whatever. It’s…” He pauses and his expression softens. “It’s good to see you, Jason.”
He’s gone before Jay can correct him on his name, and the whole exchange leaves him so flabbergasted that Darcy has to nudge his hand to remind him to walk again. Even then, he scratches behind her ear for a long moment before he makes the rest of the journey to his friends and their study group.
The paper weighs heavy in his pocket until he arrives home hours later, where he tucks it away in his nightstand drawer instead and pretends not to think about just how familiar Dick Grayson’s voice is.