Chapter Text
“Public Relations is the backbone of any industry, and don’t let anyone– especially Marketing and Sales– try to tell you otherwise,” Rhodey directed her towards their destination.
Tony has, suspiciously, not appeared yet to pout like a petulant toddler that Rhodey was stealing Penny.
Penny sipped her extra-large strawberry soda and nodded. “The court of public opinion is cutthroat.”
“Exactly.” Rhodey pointed at her. “Now, look at me, I’m a colonel. That means that I should be at an airbase in command of at least a hundred men. Why am I not?”
“I’m guessing it’s not because you have time off?” Penny knew that Rhodey had a relatively high rank in the Air Force, but she had no idea how it worked. All she knew about the Air Force came from Top Gun, and the two-hundred-thousand-word old man yaoi Top Gun: Maverick fanfiction her friend sent her in her last life. So, definitely not anything accurate.
“It’s because, somewhere and somewhen, the military has fucked up.” He gave her a grin, “I don’t know how, and any PR manager in the Air Force would stress to me that I am out of the loop on this one. However, as War Machine, I am the most public figure they have.”
“So you’re on holiday to save face.” She got it immediately. “If you’re away from base, their symbol can’t be implied at being involved in the fuck up and you still have a perfect squeaky clean and trustworthy to the public. By hanging out with Iron Man and Tony Stark, you automatically get good press, especially if you run a mission with the Avengers. The public still likes you, and, by extension, the Air Force.”
“Exactly.” Rhodey took a sip from his own Pepsi. “Public Relations is a game of chess, charades, monopoly, and chicken all in one. It is also my specialty.”
“You have your masters in Aerospace Engineering.”
“And a PhD in cleaning up after Tony.” He opened the door. “Something that is extremely difficult to earn and is a very exclusive academic field that is only myself and Pepper at the moment. Happy tries, but he’s often getting into messes too.”
Rhodey turned around, one hand coming down on her shoulder as if to stop her from running away. “Jackie! I got a gift for you!”
Jackie, turns out, was an extremely tall woman with golden blonde hair, freckles, and a deep scowl. “Please tell me the rumours from R and D aren’t true, Jim.”
“I have no clue what rumours you’re talking about,” Rhodey gave her a perfect press smile. “Penny, meet Jackie. Jackie, this is Penny, the intern Tony personally hired to work for Pepper. Penny, meet Jackie, the head of the Public Relations Department.”
When Penny went to shake her hand, a low-level buzz went through her ears. The kinda sound you hear from an electronic device being left on too long, like that time she forgot about the laminator— and as any teacher knows, those things want to catch fire.
“Nice to meet you,” She said as if her spidey sense wasn’t going crazy right now. Hopefully, it’s because there’s a bee inside the office and nobody except her senses has noticed.
“I’d say the same,” Jackie replied, grabbing her hand. It was calloused in a way that definitely wasn’t from going to the gym, and she had a scar on her wrist. “But I can tell that you’re going to be a headache for me. Please tell me you aren’t actually Stark’s kid.”
Penny blinked, glanced at Rhodey’s smirk, and then back. “Acknowledging false rumours only makes them gain more traction.”
“Good.” Jackie nodded. “You’re not stupid, which is the bare minimum, and yet too many people fail.”
The way Jackie spoke… they’re ex-SHIELD, Penny would put money on it.
“I’d say thank you, but I don’t trust like that,” Penny replied. “Why are we testing me?”
“You,” Rhodey said, “Are going to be working partially with PR. We’re lacking the kind of young person know-how with social media and youth trends.”
“Because you don’t hire anyone younger than twenty-one.” It wasn’t like that was some big secret either, SI was the ‘big three’ company for practically every field practised, and everyone knew that even their internships were rarely granted to anyone not at least a college junior. “Aren’t I supposed to be working only with Pepper?”
“What kind of tasks does Pepper have for you today?” Rhodey asked.
Penny unlocked her tablet. “Uh, email 7 people and follow up with two of my tasks she gave me on Sunday, organise and order dinner, and read over a paper and write my thoughts about it for her to review.”
“Let me guess, you can do that in an hour?”
“Right.” Penny is working with PR to stop her from getting bored at work. “This is enrichment time for me.”
Jackie wrinkled their nose. “You can’t talk like that.”
“Like what?” Penny didn’t keep her offence out of her voice.
“Like a Stark .” The head of PR crossed their arms. “We have to get you press-trained. Less sass, please, before rumours run wild.”
Yeah, no, she’s not cutting parts of herself off. “No.”
Rhodey was grinning. Why was he grinning?
“What?”
“I said no. You want to hear it in Spanish? No .” She’d always wanted to say that. “The sass is integral to my being; it doesn’t go below a hundred. You want no sass? I’ll quit, I don’t mind, I have a great lawyer and an even greater contract.”
Jackie sighed, deep from their soul. Their hands came up to rub at their eyes. “So she’s going to be a nightmare.”
“And we’re going to lean into it,” Rhodey shrugged. “Stocks will rise if they think Tony and Pepper finally have an heir.”
“This can fall apart really easily.”
“Oh, please, we’re all better trained than that.”
Have you ever seen a lion toy with their prey? Penny hasn’t, mostly because she hates blood after her Uncle died, plus her long-standing ‘tears every time there's a dissection at school’ issue, but, still, despite her lack of qualifications on making this comparison, she really thinks that Rhodey looked like a lion in this moment.
“Why do I feel like bait?” She asked.
“Of course you’re not bait,” He denied. “You’re our Plan B.”
“If Stark Industries is in trouble, you’re announcing that there’s another Stark to step up,” She crossed her arms. “Last I checked, that’s bait.”
“It’s also a lie,” Jackie smirked. “A good lie. We can tie this lie up in enough mystery and other lies that we buy time.”
“You’re both crazy.” Penny is also crazy. “You’ve known me for less than a week.”
“And your background ran clean, the tabs I’ve had JARVIS keeping on you are only positive, and Tony genuinely likes and trusts you.” Rhodey shrugged. “And, again, you buy the company time. It doesn’t have to be permanent.”
Tabs JARVIS has been keeping on her. Of course, having access to the world’s most advanced AI didn’t come for free. She couldn’t even feel betrayed because she would do the same in their shoes.
Penny sighed. “You want realism, you have the leak come out from R&D, Tony already made a show of calling me his kid in front of them. I’d say he’s in on your plan, but he clearly isn’t. Not because he’s too dumb, but because his plan is separate to yours and on a level of six-dimensional multiverse chess I don’t want to unravel. I’ve got separate social media accounts doubled-up that I had JARV help me make, they’re under ‘Princess Stark’ since that’s what he keeps calling me, and also passable as RP fan-accounts if the plan doesn’t go through. If you do decide to go through with it, just remember you need guardian permission and I’m not talking my Aunt May down this time.”
Jackie looked between them. “At least, for once, all of us are on the same page for the public statements.”
“Pepper isn’t,” Penny informed them.
Rhodey’s smirk of victory disappeared. “Shit.”
Yeah, no, she’s not getting involved in what is going to be a Pepper Potts meltdown of epic proportions.
“Can I do actual PR stuff now?” She asked. “Hey, I know the company doesn’t have its own Instagram account. If PR and Marketing get on that, your popularity among Millennial and Gen Z consumers is going to skyrocket . Can I get in on that? I have a few mock-ups I’ve tossed around in my head.”
“Give me six proposed posts and layouts by tomorrow night, and CC Farah and Conner from Digital Marketing, and I’ll see.” Jackie dismissed her, refocusing on the fact that Rhodey’s plan had not been signed off by the CEO.
“Aye, aye, agent,” Penny saluted and spun on her heel with a wink, redirecting herself towards her office.
Hopefully, Rhodey and Tony don’t have that bad of a fallout from Pepper.