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The sky is pitch-black and the rain is cold. He's standing at the doorstep, paralyzed, staring at the door of the Wachowski household. Shadow doesn't knock. His lack of certainty renders him unsure of what to do. His mind asks him questions he doesn't know the answer to.
Is this even a good idea? What am I going to say? What-
The door opens, creaking. Sonic steps into view. His expression shifting instantly from tired curiosity to wide-eyed shock. Moments of silence pass, his mouth slightly agape until his vocal cords decide to work again.
"You're... alive," Sonic finally manages, his voice breaking on the last word. He's obviously been affected by what happened. He's trembling.
"...How did you know I was here?"
Sonic's eyes are still wide. "Holy shit."
Shadow's gaze moves to Sonic's forehead; he can't bear to look him in the eyes anymore. "I- yeah, I know," he said simply, his voice deep and even, though there is something softer in the way he speaks.
Sonic eyes dart, repeatedly looking Shadow up and down, as if to find evidence that this isn't real, something to make it make sense. "What the hell? I-" He stammers, words failing him as he takes a step back, almost stumbling. "You- I saw the- the explosion!"
"I thought so," Shadow replies, the rain drips off his already-drenched nose and quills.
Sonic shakes his head frantically. The fastest thing alive can't keep up with his thoughts. "You were dead-"
"I was lucky," Shsdow interrupts, his tone blunt, like this is some normal occurrence or something. "Or unlucky, in my opinion."
Sonic winces at that, not wanting to think about what that could possibly mean. "Why are you here?" he asks, his voice quieter but no less urgent.
The black hedgehog hesitates. "I want to bring closure. For you. If that's the most I can do."
Sonic stares at him, pondering what to say. But all that runs through his mind is 'What the fuck is happening?'
"You're freaking soaked, dude," he says after a moment, his voice soft with disbelief.
"Doesn't bother me," Shadow's usual neutral tone is still apparent, but his body language is telling a different story. He's tense. Sonic can tell he's uneasy. He steps back, opening the door wider, and gestures for Shadow to come in.
"Come inside."
...
"You won't believe me."
The room is rather tidy, save for some laundry on the floor and some trash on the other hedgehog's nightstand. They're both sitting on a race car shaped bed. How fitting for this hyperactive speedster, Shadow thinks. Sonic was nice enough to get him a towel to sit on, since it's pouring outside and he is still drenched from being outside in the rain. He can only imagine how surprised he was to see someone he presumed, well, dead, at his doorstep at three in the damn morning.
"Tell me anyway," Sonic insists.
Shadow's gaze drops to the floor. He had showed up to Sonic's residence seeking reconciliation with him for hurting- no, nearly killing Tom. He thought about what to say, he was so sure he had the words. But it seems like those words ditched him, because right now, he doesn't know what to say or how to word it in a way that would be understandable. He wants to clarify every single detail but his mind can't put all of it into words. It feels like his lips have been stitched together to prevent him from speaking.
"Shadow?"
"I didn't know it was him," comes out of his mouth suddenly, in a meek whisper. As if Sonic's voice was able to manifest his thoughts into coherent words. He fidgets with his inhibitor rings. "...I thought he was Commander Walters. He looked just- just like him, for a second, a-and then his appearance changed after I hurt him. I truly didn't know it was someone else."
"Shadow..."
"I felt so guilty, " Shadow practically breathes the words out. He turns away, because he can't bear to look the other in the eyes anymore. "I thought there was no turning back anyway, so I just told myself it was for the mission so I could live with what I did. It was in the back of my mind when we were fighting again."
Sonic's brows knit together, tense and concern and exhaustion tied into his expression.
"So, you made a mistake."
Shadow inhales sharply.
"I know you feel guilty. But he's still alive. He survived. I forgive you, and I'm sure he forgives you too." Sonic whispers.
Shadow shakes his head
"That doesn't make me feel any better!" His voice raises in volume, emotions not minding the stars in the sky, the risen moon, the gentle voice of the rain, and the countless sleeping souls at this hour. "I still hurt him. I still hurt you. And when I saw you begging for him to wake up, to not die, I instantly saw myself in you."
Sonic's eyes slightly widen at that statement, still keeping his composure.
"How do I have the right to grieve when I am just as bad?" Shadow's voice becomes even louder, up to regular speaking volume, and tears well in his eyes and he turns around to look Sonic in the face. "How can I live with myself when I nearly became the very thing that ruined my life, if I'm not already? It's unforgivable, you should hate me- why do you forgive something so despicable-"
And the next second he suddenly feels the warmth of another enveloping him. Sonic brings him into a hug so tight, it feels like he is trying to squeeze the sadness out of him.
"I... no. We forgave you because you're not like that. Hating wouldn't have made it better. I know I let grief take over at first but now I realize that hating you wouldn't undo what happened," Sonic tightens his grip impossibly further. Tears fall from both hedgehogs. "And, to be honest... hearing you plead for me to kill you on the moon like that, pointing to your chest... I saw myself in you, too."
Shadow freezes, his breath caught between a gasp and a sob. Sonic gently pulls away to look him in the eyes. Tears slide down his muzzle. He doesn't know what to say. Say something, damn it!
Shadow opens his mouth but no words come out. His voice has betrayed him and now he has no words to say.
"...You're scared," Sonic sniffles. "I- I get it. You don't know what to say. That's okay."
Silence.
"We both forgave you, so you need to forgive yourself too. To be able to live with yourself. R-remember what we talked about..."
Shadow's body is trembling, breaths shaky and unstable. He thinks of Maria. This is something she would say. Would she forgive me? Why is he forgiving me so easily? I don't deserve it-
He can't hold it in anymore. He bursts into tears and crumbles in the others' arms. Wether from relief or pain, he doesn't know. The waterfall flows. The dread mixes with his tears and soaks into the other's fur, so he can absorb some of the pain for him. Right now, the universe exists in this room.
"I shouldn't have bothered you for this," Shadow pulls back, taking a shaky breath. He stands up, and Sonic knows he's trying to leave. He grasps Shadow's arm as quick as he can.
"Don't you dare," he begs. "Please don't go. It's pouring outside."
"I can't stay," Shadow murmurs, voice cracking.
"Yes, you can! Please, you can't just bail out every time you open up. You'd rather be out in the rain with nowhere to go?"
"I don't have a choice."
"You always have a choice-"
Shadow character shakes his head, pulling away slightly. "No. I don't know how to do this. I'm sorry."
Sonic's slowly releases Shadow's arm, taking a slow, steady breath. He doesn't want to push him. This isn't a fix-all, he should know that.
"...I get it," Sonic whispers. "But just know, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
Shadow turns to the door, legs shaky as he makes his way toward the door, his steps slow and reluctant. He glances back one last time.
"I... I don't know if I can become who you think I am," Shadow says, baritone cracking and timid. His chest tightens at the sight of the other hedgehog, still sitting on the floor, still waiting. "But I will try. Thank you, for everything."
"Swear up and down you will come back. When you can handle it."
Shadow's face remains sad, eyes staring at the other, as if he's being torn away from this place against his will. You're the one walking out.
"...I promise," he says, and teleports away in a bright flash.
The rain is still pouring down.