Chapter Text
Dirk leaned against the wall, solo cup in hand, glaring over the crowd of people, his eyes nearly glazing over from the buzz and boredom of the entire party. It had been almost an hour, Dirk had talked to Rose, Dave and Roxy, had one screwdriver and was barely drunk.
“I should go”, that's all he thought, but for whatever reason he held out. Maybe it was the need to be completely sober or nearly sober enough so he could drive home smoother, or maybe he knew deep in his heart there might be something more he yearned for. Thank god for whatever it was because when Dirk looked up from his cup again he saw Jake, in a suit. Dirk gripped his cup and tensed up almost entirely “oh shit…” Jake looked better than Dirk had ever seen him, his hair less messy and greasy, less muddy entirely, dressed fancy… it definitely stirred something in Dirks stomach.
“Strider! My my, Where have you been?” Dirk tenses again, feeling as if his solo cup will burst from his tight grip. He shrugs, remaining outwardly aloof “where have you been? Ive been against this wall for nearly a fucking hour and been doing jack shit.” Dirk takes a long sip from his cup, hoping to take even more edge off despite having at most a splash of alcohol.
“Aw, well, sorry. Didn't mean to leave you hanging all bored and lonely. I’ve been with Jane, Jade… seen a bit of John” Jake holds the side of his glasses and pushes them up, letting Dirk get a better view of his emerald green eyes, almost as vibrant as his own. “Nah, it's fine.” Dirk wants to say more, so much more. But he stays calm and collected, appearing outwardly chill while his body and mind have an internal fight to… talk Jake’s ear off? Would he enjoy that? I think not, Strider. Ogle him? Uh, ew? wording. flirting? No way.. Dirk can’t mess this up. Jake looks too sober. Leave? He couldn't do that. Say something, anything. Yea. Yea? Yes! Dirk speaks up
“Anyway, have you gotten anything to drink? You seem barely inebriated so based on my assumption I'd say you're sober or handle your drinks very nicely.” Dirk takes a sip, trying not to splutter up his drink at how stupid and nervous his voice sounds. Hopefully it's just in his head.
“Only one. And I can knock back a drink or two quite nicely!” Jake winks at Dirk playfully, Dirk tries not to stare at that. God, why would he do that? His grip weakens and his hands nearly slip as the sweat builds up on his palms. Stupid English. Always knew exactly how to get him going, not that it was ever very hard.
“Do you want to get a drink then?” Dirk lets his lip curl into a smirk. Smooth enough. Dirk swallows a lump in his throat he hadn't realized was there. God, why was he acting this way? “Righto. I could always go for another drink!” Dirk has to fight the physical urge to cover his mouth to refrain from laughing highly at everything Jakes says and hanging off his every word… “Cool. What do you traditionally imbibe?”
Jake pauses and laughs “you always were a man with extensive words, weren't you?” Dirk lets out a small nervous laugh and then realizes he let that escape and flushes pink, though he doubts Jake noticed. Apparently not because he speaks up again “I typically knock back some soda, vodka, and or… any ice for some drinks on the rocks?” Jake shoots Dirk a finger gun, Dirk sighs and starts counting on his fingers
“Roxy's got some punch, vodka, whiskey, bourbon, scotch, beer, gin, brandy, tequila, rum, liqueurs.” Dirk nearly gets winded from the long list he makes so short due to his speed from nervous habit “anything you want. She probably has soda and water too. Definitely some ice.” Jake nods “hmm… I walked here so i don't have to worry about getting a tad bit sloshed. So, I don't mind getting something a bit stronger than a soda, or even a typical drink!” Jake smirks confidently, blood rushing to Dirks face. “Hm.” Dirk makes the small grunt less than an approving hum like it was meant to be.
“How much have *you* had to drink, ey Strider? Got a tolerance for the stuff?” Jake nudged Dirks side, making him squirm away from him “enough of one. I can drink a few but I haven't had a lot, just a screwdriver.” Jake nods and smirks.
“I don't expect anything else from you if I'm being completely true.” Jake says, his smirk turning into a smile then a grin “you and your oranges!” Jake laughs, feels awkward, nervous. Something must be up. “...mhm. Sure you haven't had any?” Jake turns his head abruptly “well..” Jake rubs the back of his neck, ruffling his split ends “confidence is always a boost. Especially at parties! Who knows, maybe someone will ask me to dance?” Jake grins with a small snaggle tooth hanging over his lip, a small detail to his smile Dirk always was drawn to.
“Hm. Maybe. Why? You want to drunken up to try and get some confidence for a special gal? Or guy..” Dirk sips and finishes his drink, sloshing around the ice for a moment and trying to remain chill as his lip trembles. A special guy… in his dreams, maybe. If he ever dreamed. “Well!... maybe!” Jake stands up straighter and shakes his hands “it is a party after all! I should enjoy myself. And you should! Don't be afraid to not have to bugger off me and leech onto me like a barnacle.” Jake chuckles softly and Dirk unintentionally raises an eyebrow at the last statement.
They both pause. “Let's get a drink.” Dirk breaks the silence and continues walking. Jake walks into the kitchen behind Dirk and grabs a cup and fills it with ice. Dirks slightly silent as he gets a stronger drink, filling his cup with some orange juice but mostly rum, not sure and not caring how good it tasted. Dirk peaks over and sees Jake pouring a gin and tonic.
“Who are you going to hang out with tonight?” Dirk sips his drink and forces it down, he's never liked the taste of alcohol… “oh! Um… hm. I'm not sure. I was kind of waiting for somebody to come to me.” Jake sips his and looks content about it. “Well, I came to you.” Dirk is letting his words slip in hope Jake will be around him.
“Well.” Jake laughs slightly and takes another, bigger sip of his drink. Dirk can feel the alcohol kicking, Dirk wonders if Jake could too. “Mm.. fine. Let's hang out. Until! I get asked to dance.” Dirk lets his smile slip through “mhm.” Jake wanders past, Dirk can see him sway slightly. Dirk follows after and keeps his hands near him, just in case he gets the excuse to help him stay steady.
Jake walks back into the main room and walks past Roxy and Jane and sits on a nearby couch against the wall. Dirk pushes past to sit next to him, scooting next to him and sitting between him and someone else he doesn't know. Sitting snugly against Jake's side. “Sorry.” Dirk presses closer to avoid the stranger, feeling the fabric of Jake's suit against the back of his hand while he holds his cup.
Jake sits against the side of the couch and takes bigger sips from his cup. Dirk sits as close to the back of the couch as he can and sips his cup, clinging slightly to the fabric of his suit from rubbing up tighter against his skin… Dirk sits back, sipping and listening to the music, Jake leaning over and then he suddenly sits back. Dirk jumps slightly, feeling Jake's hand squirm to the small of Dirks back.
Dirk looks over at Jake, his face casual and looking forward, Dirk swallows and sits a bit forward, moving slowly to not startle Jake away from him. Dirk and Jake sit in silence, Dirk slowly melting into the feeling of Jake's hand on his lower back. “Hey, Dirk.” Dirk jumps out of his skin. “Wh- hm? Yes?” Dirk looks up and decides he can sink into Jake's touch. “Do you want to go outside? I'm feeling- .. guh.” Jake pauses and turns to Dirk, moving his hand down and off his back. Dirk nods and pulls them both up.
Dirk pulls Jake along, them both swaying until they get to the door and feel the cool breeze outside, Dirk pulls him down onto the empty porch and closes the door.
…
“Are you feeling okay?” Dirk wraps his arm around Jake’s shoulder and squeezes him firmly, Jake sets down his half empty cup and sighs “yea, im dandy… right as rain.” Dirk bolden's his grasp, trailing his hand down Jake's arm and then switching over to his lower back. Jake peers over at Dirk and his eyes have widened slightly. Dirk pauses until Jake relaxes into the touch, feeling the alcohol burning his thoughts. The mix of the feeling of his hands on Jake and the fact Jake isn't pushing him away emboldens Dirk further.
Dirk finds himself seeking more closeness, leaning in closer to Jake until he sees his eyes start to blur and widen. Dirk doesn't think as he moves his hand around from the small of Jake's back onto his hip and he can hear Jake's patient, shallow breaths slow until they are in rhythm with Dirks. Dirk squeezes his fingers into the fabric on Jake's hip and scoots closer on the porch, bringing his head forward until the tip of his glasses scratches the lens of Jakes.
Jake lets out an out of order, shallow gasp. That blow of warm air comes with a strong scent of gin. Dirk slowly closes his eyes, alcohol overriding every worthwhile thought in his brain until he feels Jake's hand moves up and runs down his jawline, his hand so gentle it's like he's scared it'll cut him.
Dirk pauses and shudders until his shoulders finally relax and he feels Jake's touch grow stronger and he pulls Dirk's face forward onto his. Dirk hums and lets his eyelids flutter as he feels his lips on Jakes, an overwhelming need clouding his thoughts. Dirk presses closer and trails his hand up onto Jake's chest and up to his undershirt, rubbing his collarbones softly and gently opening his mouth for Jake to get more entrance.
Dirk feels Jake immediately take the bait and kisses him more passionately. Dirk pushes back and squeezes Jake's shoulder like a lifeline, small gasps and heavy breaths escaping him and Jake. Jake presses close enough he can feel both of their glasses clink and his shades scratch against the frames of his glasses. Dirk would care if it weren't for the only thing in his mind being Jake and the feeling of him.
The scent and taste of gin cover any sense Dirk had the chance of having. Dirk squeezes firmly down Jake's shoulder to his wrist, rubbing his wrist as his touch becomes more gentle, Jake's touch never loosening. He feels Jake's hand trail up from his jaw into his hair and grip tightly onto the back of his head, holding him in place and the both of them tilting their heads to get more taste of the other. Dirk can only imagine the mix of orange and rum Jake can taste on him.
Dirk moves his other hand not on Jake's wrist into his hair as well, both of them pushing against each other and only hearing the sound of each other for what feels like multiple minutes until Jake pulls away with a gasp.
Dirk pauses and waits for Jake to say something, when he says nothing Dirk speaks up instead. “Woah.” Dirk laughs softly and clears his throat, trying to clear the air “why'd you stop?”
Jake pauses and looks up, showing him a nervous smile. Jake speaks up and clears his throat “needed to get some air..” Dirk laughs, scooting closer and caresses the far side of Jake's face gently and cups his face in his hand and rubs his thumb under his eye.
“You know, you look damn good when you are not covered in mud and wearing shorts so small I can see your ass.” Dirk laughs slightly drunk and presses closer, Jake backing away slightly and dropping his hands to his sides. Dirk cuddles up as close to Jake as possible and lays his head in the crook of his neck.
“Oh, god… I've needed you so bad. For.. so long.” Jake turns his head to face Dirk and Dirk rubs his thumb across his cheek. Dirks tongue darts out to wet his lips and he presses closer again, moving his free hand up and moving his shades up, closing his eyes before so. Before Dirk closes the space he feels Jake's hand firmly squeeze his shoulder “wait a minute, pal..” Dirk opens his eyes and he hears Jake make a small, surprised squeak at his bright orange eyes. Dirk had not realized Jake had never seen them.
“Why?” he smiles and laughs again, his drunkenness overriding his thoughts and his mannerisms. Jake pauses “What time is it?” Dirk looks around, his eyes widening and he looks around in his pockets, taking his hands off Jake without thought.
…
“Why?” Dirk shakes his head and tries pushing again, leaning forward towards Jake. “It's late. Who cares? You wanted to leave late, right?” Jake pauses and nods. “I suppose.” Dirk smiles “then, once you're sober, let's dance.. I want to taste you without the gin..” Dirk laughs drunkenly and presses his forehead against Jakes. Jake shakes his head and looks away, some breeze blowing his hair about.
“I’m serious. You look good.” Dirk smiles and laughs. Dirk sits forward against Jake, admiring his face and his warmth through the cool air on the skin without Jake's contact. Dirk puts his arm through Jakes and holds onto him, pressing his nose into Jake's neck and feeling his head tilt and him shudder. “Are you cold?” Dirk rubs his hand up and down Jake's arm. “I can give you the jacket of my suit..” Dirk extends his words and giggles drunkenly, getting slightly more handsy and rubbing up Jake's arm and to his shoulder.
Jake laughs nervously and tucks his hair back, facing forward but seemingly avoiding Dirks eyes. Dirk rubs Jake's shoulder and presses closer, pouting and moving his arm still on Jake's arm to pull off his glasses and tuck them in his pocket. “Hey, look at me. I want to see more of you” Dirk frowns deeper. Jake laughs again and looks down at Dirk “Sorry. I've just- I've never seen you act or… talk like this. This is confusing.”
“Shocking? Hah.. or confusing?” Dirk presses closer until Jake can smell the rum on his breath again. “Um, Dirk. I think *you're* confused.” Dirk is taken slightly aback. “What? About what?” Dirk speaks quickly and reels back a bit. “I just- this is all a bit quick! Isn't it?” Jake looks at Dirk and then away with a shrug. Quick? This was anything but quick.. He had known, had wanted Jake for ten years! How much longer did Dirk have to wait for Jake to notice every hint of obvious attraction? Dirk wants to feel angry. He feels a wave of frustration and then an even stronger wave of hurt. It feels as if Jake had just stabbed him in the gut with a dull knife.
“Quick? W-what- why? What?” Dirk looks around frantically, letting go of Jake completely and fidgeting with his suit, trying to find any escape from the situation. Dirk would have been at least slightly cool if it weren't for the alcohol and his shit tolerance. He swallows, hard. “I just-” Jake pauses and shrugs again, letting out a nervous chuckle that makes Dirks blood boil beyond comprehension. How could he be laughing when Dirk was so clearly distraught? “Maybe we should just give it more time.” Dirk stares at Jake, seconds passing until he feels his mouth start moving without thought.
“More time? How much longer do *you* need to like me?... How much longer, Jake?” Dirk feels his body move without control, standing up and flailing around, almost toppling over himself and his words, pointing and yelling “If you don't like me you shouldn't have kissed me! I’ve been giving and fucking giving! I'm like your damn bitch! Always following you on a short fucking leash! And you're constantly- … yanking!” He snaps at Jake without thought, he had never thought that about Jake but his words wouldn't stop coming.
“Stop it! Shut up! Stop looking at me like I'm anything but your problem!” he feels his throat start to burn from the strain he never puts on his voice, he's never heard himself talk over a stoic tone to anyone but himself. He pauses and starts to flail and grunt. “You-” Dirk looks down and trembles with anger. Dirk looks forward at Jakes expression, lips parted, eyes wide and cutely blinking every few seconds.
He pauses and stares at Jake as he opens his mouth enough for Dirk to see his snaggle tooth again.
Dirk pauses and takes a shaky breath. “how much longer do I have to wait?” He whispers and leans over, stumbling and trembling. He looks forward at Jake as his face contorts to look away from him, Dirk feels something he hasn't felt in a while. He feels tears prick his eyes as he stares at him. He’s never wanted anything more in his life. He's never wanted anything more than to come home and step into the arms of someone who wants him, someone who isn't a puppet or a bird… or a brother that was never around. Someone who yearns just as deeply for Dirk as Dirk yearns for them…
“Hah.. well… I- I'm not sure.” Jake shakes his head and rubs his temple with one hand. “I just know I'm not ready for this. Not yet at least! Haha!... I-I'm so… sorry though, Dirk.” Dirk pauses and bites his lower lip, blinking rapidly as he suppresses every urge to cry. Knowing when he does he’ll have no ones arms to go to, no one to run to and seek comfort. So he does what he does best and pulls back into his poker face, digging around in his pocket rapidly to fetch out his shades and immediately prop them back into place.
“Okay.” Dirk nods, stirring in the awkward silence after his outburst. “Sorry.” He presses past Jake and steps inside the party again, Jake hearing a bit of the commotion and music from inside before Dirk shuts the door behind him.