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“I swear on the goddesses, Pipit, please,” Link said, his voice pitching up in a desperate whine. “I don’t need you to do this. Please don’t do this.” He knew his begging would get him nowhere when his supposed friend kept walking, turned, and winked before grabbing his stomach, howling, and dropping to the ground.
The thud his body made was so loud that Link knew he’d have bruises and regret that move. Link almost didn’t care.
“Help!” Pipit cried from where he was sprawled on the ground, seemingly gasping for breath. “A doctor, please!! I need a doctor!” He was attracting a small crowd of onlookers, pausing from their busy city days to watch what appeared to be a medical emergency unfolding.
“Please, get up,” Link grumbled, pinching his nose. “Please don’t do this,” he begged again, but it was too late, and his voice was well drowned out by the crowd, which was beginning to obscure some of his view of the dramatic scene unfolding.
“Someone help him!” A woman cried as another ordered, “Someone call 911!”
Link groaned and pushed his way to the front, making eye contact with a well-intentioned lady in a red suede coat. “Don’t call 911,” he said, pointing at her. The woman traded confused looks with other onlookers as she slowly lowered her phone.
“Excuse me!”
And right on time. It was Link’s luck that she would show up now. Of course, she would care and come running at the opportunity to help out. She was a doctor and probably one of the best, most kindest, and sweetest the hospital ever had.
But of course, with his luck, who needed friends like Pipit? Friends who would fake a medical emergency to ensure he was forced to speak to the doctor he’d been crushing on for… well, longer than he wanted to admit.
Especially when he’d never so much as spoken to her.
And there she was, elbowing her way through the crowd. The golden-haired doctor was wearing her usual teal scrubs and white coat. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail and fell down her back in soft curls.
With a sharp snap, she pulled on a set of blue rubber gloves that matched the barrettes holding back her bangs. She knelt quickly next to Pipit, who Link had to admit was a great actor. He would almost be convinced if his sparkling green eyes did not betray his amusement.
“Are you alright, sir? Are you in any pain?” The woman pulled a stethoscope out of her bag as she began taking Pipit’s pulse. Link loomed over top of them, sending Pipit a furious glare.
“I…” Pipit gasped. “I’m not… sure.”
Link huffed and knelt down as a crowd formed around them, phones and faces in every direction. “Pipit, please,” he urged. “Stop this.”
“Excuse me. Who are you, sir?” The blonde woman turned an impervious eye on Link as she rifled through her med bag; he could almost feel the heat from the burning coal behind her gaze. “Is this your boyfriend?”
Her gaze was briefly distracted by Pipit’s audible choke. “No, he’s –!” Link put his hand over the doctor’s to still her, but she wrenched her bag away.
“Don’t touch me, sir!” She said hotly. “And I won’t have you interfering when I’m caring for a patient. I heard you tell that woman not to call 911.”
“No, I know. I’m sorry,” Link said quickly, holding his hands up. “I won’t… I won’t interfere. It’s only that…” He shot a hard look at Pipit. When his friend didn’t respond, Link groaned. “Listen, Doc.” He said simply. “This is my friend. My faking friend.” He avoided the doctor’s enraged look to shoot a pointed gaze at Pipit, who responded by sticking his tongue out. “He isn’t ill.”
Link was sending desperate mental signals to Pipit that his friend was clearly ignoring. When the doctor followed his eyes, Pipit straightened up with a surprised look on his face as he hesitantly felt his torso. “Wow, I… Suddenly feel better?”
Link rolled his eyes.
“Dr. Hyrule! Are you alright?” A tall woman with silver hair wearing a lighter color of blue scrubs pushed through the crowd. Her red eyes flicked across the scene, and Zelda turned from Link as she reopened her bag.
“I’m fine,” she said simply. “This man collapsed, and I’m working to check his vitals, Impa.”
“Is this one impeding you?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow as she peered down at Link.
The blonde doctor looked at Link before hesitantly shaking her head. The silver-haired woman – Impa – knelt next to Dr. Hyrule. “What are his symptoms?”
Pipit sat up and smoothly grasped Impa’s palm from where she had previously been taking his pulse. “It seems I’m missing my heart,” he purred, his voice like an oil slick that sent Link’s stomach churning. He could hardly process what he was seeing as he watched his friend bat his eyelashes.
Beside him, the doctor faltered as she watched Impa stare more singularly at Pipit, squeezing his hand harder until he winced. “What is… happening?” She turned to look at Link.
“I tried to tell you,” Link explained sheepishly before standing and clapping his hands twice. “Alight everyone, nothing to see here! Move on, please. We are all good.”
As the crowd dispersed, the doctor spluttered. “Did- Did you just fake a medical emergency? Why?!”
Pipit reluctantly pulled his gaze from the silver-haired surgeon and asked, “Hmm?” before remembering himself. “No, of course not! I just… feel so much better now,” he said dreamily, turning back to the woman who was still tightly holding his hand. "Especially when I'm around you."
"Is that so?" Impa asked, dragging his friend to his feet. “Let’s go have a conversation about faking illness, then.”
“I really do feel better now,” Pipit claimed as he was pulled away. He saluted to the blonde doctor beside Link. “Whatever you did was the ticket! Thanks!”
Link shook his head when Pipit sent him a wink. He rubbed the back of his head as he slowly turned around, shyly looking at the doctor.
“But I didn’t–?” The doctor looked bewildered at Pipit’s rapidly disappearing backside before she looked accusatorily at Link. “What is going on?”
He held his hands up in defense. “It’s not my fault!”
“Explain, then?” She sounded more exhausted than anything.
“You’re a doctor,” he started.
“Yes,” she said flatly.
“Sorry,” he shook his head. “I mean, my friend Pipit — you just met him — has been trying to, uh, hook me, I mean, set me up for a while now, and so he fake passed out on the sidewalk to draw your attention. I’m so sorry. He’s fine, I swear,” Link babbled before quickly adding, “I didn’t put him up to it.”
The doctor raised a brow.
“If you knew him, you’d know he just shows his love eccentrically.”
The doctor was thoughtful a moment, tapping a finger against her knee. Finally, she took her rubber gloves off with a snap and a sigh.
“Does your friend regularly pull that move? It’s not safe,” she said as she stood to her feet. Link found himself quite intimidated. “And it could easily drain resources that others need.”
“No!” Link said quickly. “I mean, yes. I agree. I swear I’ll make sure he never does it again,” he added solemnly. “I’m a first responder, so… I get it.”
“EMT?” she guessed.
“I’m a firefighter.” He held out his hand. “Sorry, I should have introduced myself. My name is Link.”
She hesitated for a moment before slipping her hand into his. It was warm and sent an electric zing up his arm. Link squeezed it gently.
“Zelda.” She smiled and nodded toward the towering gray building behind them. “I work at Loftwing City Hospital.”
“I suppose I should call you doctor, then?” Link’s lips twitched and turned into a small smirk when Zelda’s cheeks pinkened.
“My friends call me Zelda,” she murmured. She didn’t make any move to pull her hand from his, and Link took a small step forward.
“Then I should consider myself lucky to be counted among them,” Link said softly, watching her gentle eyes. He was relieved to find that they were kind sapphires that shined on him, even as the sharp edges appraised him. He felt the strangest urge to pull her hand to his lips and kiss her fingertips.
He tried not to feel so heartbroken when she eventually pulled her hand away.
“So… you have problems finding a girlfriend?” Zelda’s tone was teasing as she rocked back and forth on her heels.
Link felt his cheeks heat as her eyes flicked down his hoodie and his gray sweatpants. Of course, Pipit would have pulled this stunt on their way back from the gym. Although Link would begrudgingly see the logic in his “seize the moment” attitude.
“I, um,” Link’s throat dried up. How to explain without coming off like a creep? “It’s just been a while, is all. My last… uh, relationship. We didn’t work out. Took me a bit, but yeah, I guess I’m… finally ready to look again.”
Zelda’s face softened. “I’m sorry to hear about your troubles.”
“All’s fair in love and war, right?” Link shrugged before chuckling. His hand found the back of his head.
Zelda looked at him thoughtfully. “I suppose that’s one school of thought.”
“You disagree?” His eyebrow raised.
One shoulder shrugged as she opened her bag once more, rummaging through the contents. “I’m not sure.” She pulled out a pad and clicked her pin, then paused, smiling at Link. “Perhaps we can debate it over coffee sometime.”
“A debate?” Link asked nervously as she scribbled on a piece of paper before ripping it off and handing it to him.
“Or a date.” She shrugged and shouldered her bag. “Let me know which you’re up for. I gotta get back.” Her eyes sparkled before she turned on her heel.
He looked down to read the prescription note, which had Dr. Zelda Hyrule printed at the top and ten digits scrawled across the page.
“A date,” he repeated to himself, trying to ignore the goofy tone in his voice.
“So it worked, huh?” Pipit slung an arm around his shoulder.
“No thanks to you,” Link sniffed as he shoved the paper in his pocket.
“Excuse me! Without my expert plan, you would have waited another six weeks before you got the courage,” Pipit argued.
Link rolled his eyes. “Get off me,” he grumbled and pushed him away good-naturedly. “You need a shower. You reek.”
Pipit’s laughter followed them all the way home, and even Link found he could not wipe the smile off his face. In his pocket, the note was a coal that kept his hopes alive.