Archive of Our Own

Shu has a problem.

The general perception people have of him– reliable, capable, a little intense when he really sticks his nose into something, or alternatively a little absent-minded when he doesn’t– is that he’s a pretty unflappable guy. He can take care of himself. He doesn’t like getting stuck in the weeds with something messy, and he certainly knows when to mind his own business.

That doesn’t mean his life is easy though. Sometimes problems saddle themselves onto the most capable people, knowing they can shoulder the burden.

“Shu? Get down here before I leave without you!”

Take today, for instance.

Shu sighed, looking down at his bag and the pile of stuff he just couldn’t quite fit inside. There’s another pair of shoes, casual clothes if he gets a bit stifled in the suit, and then some hobby-related accoutrement. A different cologne, in case someone’s allergic and he has to switch things up. A deck of cards. His work notebook– just in case there’s an emergency, okay? 

It’s always good to be prepared. They’re all equally important and equally unable to fit in his little suitcase.

Okay, so maybe he has more than one problem, but this one’s a relatively easy one to deal with, so it's not so bad. If he really needs more clothes, then he can just buy some more, so he eventually settles on whatever tiny knick-knacks he can still cram inside, pressing down with his body weight to barely tug the zipper shut.

If his bag breaks, then he’ll just buy one of those too. It’s fine. 

“Shu?” he hears again, the voice louder this time. “If you’ve died, then I call dibs on your PC.” By now it’s coming from the other side of his door, and he gives it about 30 seconds before Claude just decides to burst in, propriety be damned.

“Coming!” 

Shu is, in fact, not yet coming, still fastening the buttons of his jacket, but at least he’s ready to go. He’s close enough to ready that he can argue it his way, and that’s good enough for him. “If you’re so impatient, can you at least– oh. Yeah, thanks,”

Claude is a lifesaver, already wrestling with the handle to get it back into his bag. His elbows bang against it as he tries to wedge it in, and when he finally does it, he calls out in victory, telling Shu to get his butt in the car as soon as possible.

It’s like he anticipates what Shu needs before he even needs it, always so considerate. And it’s not even ‘I look out for you so you owe me’ considerate. It’s more like a ‘it’ll make things easier so I’ll just do it’ kind of considerate. Without him, Shu imagines he’d probably still be stuck in some nowhere building waiting on the bus to slowly roll its way in. Or more realistically, he’d be stuck in the fitting room of some shop in the fancy part of town that he rarely likes to visit, wondering just how ill-fitting a suit needs to be before you have to go to the tailor’s. (It’s not like he was the one getting married, after all! Who cares what he looks like?)

But then, with an ache in his chest, he remembers. Claude cares. And because he cares, Shu can’t quite give up on it even though he swore up and down that he would. 

Because sure, you know, maybe he wanted him to look good so as to not embarrass their friends on the biggest day of their lives, but what if he did it because he wanted Shu to look good? Because he liked it. Because he liked him . Then what?

Claude’s already waiting for him when he’s finally made it out.

“I’m blaming you if someone asks why we’re late,” he says, doubling back for some reason he doesn’t quite catch.

Shu laughed, shoving aside Claude’s jacket to make room for his bag. He barely manages to catch the muffin that flies at his head when he’s finally done, and it gives him a whole new excuse to heckle Claude for his timing. Not the most delicious lunch, but you can’t deny the portability factor. 

Claude’s already helped himself to his kitchen earlier, judging from the bottle resting in his cupholder. 

And there goes his stubborn heart again because it’s two bottles, actually, since one was covered by Claude’s old, fraying scarf, and it does something silly to his head, just seeing both their favourites side by side. 

It just feels right. 

Familiar.

Shu gets very little time to linger in his domesticity-related tizzy since Claude quickly returns, hopping into the driver’s seat.

“Already locked the door, by the way. You really need to get a new hiding place.”

His fingers brush against Shu’s neck as he slings his arm across the seat, hauling himself up to back out to the street, and he prays that he can’t feel his runaway pulse from back there. It’s little things like that that he still can’t control. 

When you start caring for someone you’ve known forever, then the little things you took for granted are what throw you off the most. And while he’s been swamped with wedding preparations– or swamped with helping other people who are more directly swamped by all the wedding preparations– Claude has been a steady comfort without even realising it. 

And that’s what he likes, at the end of the day. The ease. The fact that it’s easy to imagine a world where they’re exactly like this with just a little bit more. 

“It’s fine. You’re the last person I’d try to hide something from,” he says, cursing himself for his honesty.

You see, Shu’s main problem manifests itself in the form of his giant mouth and how it can’t work properly in front of his amazing, considerate, heart-wrenchingly lovely best friend who forces him to be better. And unlike most problems, he's not sure if he wants to solve it. 

Or maybe that's just a symptom of the wider problem. Most people worry about falling in love with the wrong person, or pushing through with their career at the wrong time, or one of a thousand potential issues in their otherwise passably tolerable lives, but Claude could never be the wrong person. If any of them are the wrong person, it’s more like Shu is, curtailed somewhere squarely in the purely platonic category. Or at least that's what he thinks, seeing how Claude still refuses to own up about his prospective date (or lack thereof) when they've rarely had secrets. 

“You should have just asked someone to come with you,” he tries again. Shu knows he likes someone. He’s not so blind that he missed that. “I’ve got some things to take care of, so you should go have fun! I can take care of myself.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine. And besides, they’ll probably be there anyway. It won't make a difference either way.”

“Oh, the mystery lover-in-the-making?”

“The very same.”

Claude’s not even shy about it. Wouldn't he be shyer if he was thinking about him? That's why, no matter how hard it is to swallow, he’s accepted that maybe things are never going to happen between them. 

It doesn’t have to be him. Shu’s not so deluded that he believes that it is. 

It’s just that it would be nice to get some confirmation without putting himself out there to get it. Even this much, pushing Claude to just go out and ask them out, is a lot for him.

Part of him doesn't even want to ask. You can still cling on to a tiny bit of hope if you don't ruin it for yourself. But then, a bigger part just wants to will away all this complicated stuff. It shouldn't matter that he wants to kiss him sometimes, even if he really, really does. 

And, besides, Shu really does not want to deal with the messy stage afterwards where he’ll shut himself at home, licking up wounds that he never knew existed, just because he found out the truth. Because yeah. Love can do that to you too, and it sucks.

“Still. I’ll be fine,” he insists, peeling off a chunk of muffin.

“So will I.”

Shu sighs, knowing when to drop it. There’s no point. It’s a recurring thing between them lately, his insistence only growing the closer they get to the actual date of the wedding. Claude can be the most stubborn man alive, and although he usually finds it charming, it's certainly no less annoying than usual, so he’s learned when to back down.

The drive down is a nice one, threading mostly through the hills once they’ve turned off the expressway. The leaves bow down from the trees, reaching out to kiss the ground. And there were still flowers– mostly the stubborn ones, the ones that never seem to fully die out– dotting the hills even though it was well beyond the first days of spring. 

Shu hopes the weather will stay just as nice for the wedding. May wouldn’t quite be his month of choice.

It was a point of argument between them all for months, but in the end, the romantic, impractical side won out. Shu was always worried about the rainy season kicking off early, but his fears meant nothing in the face of the pleading couple. 

Not October, which might be cooler and feature the foliage better. 

Not June, which was more traditional despite the rain. 

No, it had to be May, and so it was, the date landing squarely on their middle birthday as if they needed any new reason to celebrate it. He’s pretty sure they already have an extra special date night every year regardless because they like things like that. Shu can’t say he’d want to do the same. It’s like affixing your wedding onto Marine Day just because one of you is an oceanographer, but it’s a million times sappier. The underlying principle is the same. 

Couldn’t they have just picked a nice, normal day and enjoyed transforming it into a special one? 

Claude elbows him once he finishes his turn. “Stop sighing. You might start a rainstorm or something.”

Shu laughs a little in spite of himself. It’s an easy source of jokes even though they both know it would never come to pass. His particular brand of sorcery doesn’t mix too well with the weather– that’s more Elira’s thing, so it’ll be her responsibility should anything arise– but he’ll still try his best to keep it in check. 

“They did say they wanted an unforgettable wedding.”

“Yeah, they wouldn’t care, but you know who would?”

“Uki,” they both answer in unison, laughing at the imagined picture of his indignation. 

He can picture it now. Sonny, holding up his jacket over their heads, unable to fathom any other expression but a smile as he looks down at Alban, who’d probably be yelling at him to put it back on before he catches a cold. And then once they’re safely inside, he’d shake off the water from his hair like an oversized dog while Alban would look on with barely concealed endearment. And then there, standing behind them, would be Uki, cursing the weather for ruining the picture, no matter how auspicious it may be. 

And then it would become his responsibility somehow, as the best man’s best man or whatever you want to call it. 

Shu likes to call himself the contingency plan. It sounds much cooler that way. And Claude? Well, he has the decency to cover his mouth when he laughs at him about it, at least.

For most of the drive he amuses himself slowly, surrounding himself with hypotheticals. 

The roads were largely deserted, and they look the same whenever he blinks in and out of consciousness. From time to time, a boat would meander under the bridge, its deck full of boxes of various fruits and vegetables. Birds traced spirals in the air. Moss crawled its way up and around the rocks fanning the area.

The whole journey was filled with the kind of peace that he’s unlikely to find for the whole rest of the week, so he takes what he can get while he’s still free to do so. 

Excitement isn’t a bad thing per se, but it can get a little tiring.

Case in point, the moment they arrive, the whole crew is waiting, literally grabbing them off the road as if they’ve been separated for years instead of a few weeks at most.

“You’re late! We’ve been standing out here for the last 20 minutes!”

Claude does not blame him. Instead, he too opens his arms, leaving Shu crushed somewhere between his side and Sonny’s. (And Claude doesn’t even like sports that much! He has no right to be as strong as he is!)

Shu counts to ten, already feeling a nasty bout of blush running down his cheeks. 

Then, not overreacting at all, he wordlessly extracts himself from the massive cuddle puddle, ready to get a good night's rest. The nap (or several) that he took in the car doesn’t count, and he’s not hungry either, having slept through the hunger. Cars are liminal spaces. Nothing you do in them counts. And more importantly, he absolutely, positively needs to go find his room right this second before anyone notices, so no, he does not plan to join them for dinner tonight.

Instead, Shu grabs his bag out the back and tries his best to push it around, alternating between wheeling and carrying it as he gets nearer to his room where he can be alone in peace.

The world had other plans for him, it seems, because he can never escape any situation unscathed.

Standing in the corridor, directly blocking the easiest route from the elevator, was a statue. 

He may as well have been a statue anyway. The man was a swirling blend of all the statues he’d ever seen, with the same hard planes and off-putting stature. Tall and bulky and cuttingly handsome, he remained in his position by the entryway. His pale eyes were lost in thought. His hair fell over his cheeks with a delicacy unbefitting his general air. 

And, most importantly, he was in the way.

“Excuse me,” Shu said, waiting for the guy to get out the doorway, but he did not move.

“Hello?” Shu tries again, debating how awkward it would be to try to squeeze past him, suitcase in tow. 

The thing is, Shu’s not that inflexible. He can wait if he has to. In fact, Shu has no problems with letting someone else take control sometimes, but he also likes to keep to a schedule– or his version of a schedule, anyway, so it’s perfectly flexible within his boundaries– and right now, he’d really prefer to sink into his bed for an unhealthy amount of time, so he decides to just go for it, trying to touch him as little as possible as he shuffles his way past.

He can worry about being kind and presentable in the morning.

For now, all he wants is to calm down from the journey, so he throws his bag unceremoniously into the closet before flopping directly onto the bed, resolved to stay in this pathetic excuse for posture until the sun rises tomorrow morning.

-

His stay in bed ended up lasting a little less than until sunrise, but he tried his best, only getting up for the essentials. He still managed to wake up before his alarm(s), so it counts as a win in his book.

Now that the day has begun, everything was essential though– or so it seemed anyway. Lacking a legitimate wedding planner, their friends each took on various roles– no matter how much the pair of them insist that they can’t let them work during their wedding, they were up against a bunch of equally stubborn people who refused to do nothing when there was so much that could be so easily accomplished between them– and Shu became the glue that held it together. 

He straightened out the cake tasting, the finances and when they could tell white lies about why they wanted to buy things to avoid the wedding markup, the logistics of hosting, just about everything. If there was a problem– like that one time the website crashed after someone plugged it on the wrong account– then he’d be there on the other side, just a call away. Shu knows this wedding better than anyone, and he’s happy to work on it.

As the day starts, that is precisely what he intends to do.

“Hey.” Claude waves as he passes, his hair still cutely crumpled from whatever weird sleeping ritual he’s got going on between his head and his pillow. “Too busy for breakfast?”

Shu pauses when he hears it. Claude doesn’t even like breakfast. 

It’s almost enough to break him, but he got here a night early precisely to check on things for the destination wedding of the century (their words, not his), so nothing’s going to stop him now. Not even the enticing thought of sitting down with him and sharing a coffee– maybe sitting together on one of those squat little couches so that Shu can lean into him, full of excuses about how he’s still exhausted from the long drive the day before– is enough to break his resolve.

Besides, he really doesn’t want to think about Claude and the wedding right now, and that’s likely where his mind will wander to if he sits alone with him. On their own, they’re both fine. Claude. The wedding. But together, they form a more intimidating picture. Claude at the wedding.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

The side benefit that you’ll never hear him admitting out loud is that he enjoys keeping himself busy because it means he can’t invite any wandering thoughts in. He won’t look at all these couples in love and stare a little too directly at the person he wishes was just a little more in love with him and mope about how it can never happen.

Nope. He won’t even stop to talk to him, exchanging nothing but a mere high five before he runs off to the courtyard.

First on his list are the flowers. Rosemi should have arranged them already, so all that’s left is to make sure they’ve arrived and somewhere out of the sun so they don’t wilt.

And then after the delivery comes the catering, the folding chairs, the careful arrangement of flowers on merely one side of the field for everyone with allergies. It’s quite the elaborate, busy affair, honestly. So much has already gone into their wedding, and it hasn’t even started.

Maybe he’ll just elope when the day eventually comes. Weddings are just a little too much for him.

And the box that’s arrived is ludicrously heavy. Were they decorating the venue with rocks? It’s during moments like this that he wishes that his magic could be a little more consistently useful. 

Commune with the dead? Sure, he can do it! But it seems like lifting a few boxes was somehow too hard for his sorcery to ever accomplish.

It doesn’t matter. He’s much too busy to try to figure out some other way of transporting this stuff anyway. His arms will complain, but it’ll be much faster to take care of it right now, and because the world loves to give him problems, that’s precisely when he meets the statue in the hall again, somehow looking even taller and wider than yesterday. He’s staring off at the clouds in the sky with a wistful sort of look in his eye, and you can see his gums when he smiles so wide. 

He manages to fill up the entire room and then some with his presence. 

It’s kinda charming, but Shu’s in no mood to be charmed. He’s too busy to be charmed! And this man is still in his way! Again!

“Oh,” Shu says, feigning nonchalance. He hopes he’ll look over and see the stupid box and take a hint and get out of the way. “You’re that guy from yesterday,” he adds, trying to land on the right side of polite.

There’s a strange look on his face when he sees him– stony, perhaps a little bit startled, maybe looking for something in Shu’s face– and while he prefers the smile, he'd vastly prefer if he could just move a little to the right. He’s a little too preoccupied right now to think about. Literally.

“And you’re the guy who shoved me into the wall.”

“I wouldn’t say shove exactly… more like a light tap? And it wasn’t my fault!”

He shrugs, tugging at his hair. “Call it what you like. It still happened.”

Great. Less than 1 day in and he’s already made an enemy. 

“Look.” Shu barely manages to balance the box on his knee as he speaks. Maybe he should be a little more courteous, but logic and politesse have little space in his head, the bulk of it stuffed with nothing but stress. “I’m sorry, but I don’t really have time for this right now. So, please, take the hint and leave me alone.”

Shu doesn’t even give him a chance to reply, ducking into the corridor on the right so he can use that door instead. It would be faster than waiting for him to move on his own.

His arms protest greatly through each step. He takes care of himself, sure, but he was not built for this kind of extended lifting. 

Shu barely gets a minute to rest, however, since there’s a commotion of about three other people all circling Sonny with their hands in the air. They pass through the hallway with the subtlety of an earthquake, each trying to cajole him into finding some other way to count down the hours.

“I want to see Alban already,” he whines, red-faced and sad. He brightens when he sees Shu through the door, excited at the potential for a supporter in his chosen crusade. “Shu! You’ll take me to him, won’t you?”

Uki was on Alban duty this morning, and he’d kill him if he rats them out so easily. Vanta stares directly at him, begging him to figure something out. And Shu? Shu is tired. He only meant to take a quick breather before getting back to the grind.

“Why don’t we go play a game or something?” Zali asks, trying to slow down his pace by walking directly in front of Sonny’s path forwards. It doesn’t work very well. “We can do anything you want.”

Sonny pauses, mulling it over. There’s a moment of relief where Shu thinks maybe he won’t have to intervene and he can just get on with the next item on his list, but his hopes are quickly dashed.

“Besides, you’re not supposed to see each other before the wedding,” Wilson adds, trying to be helpful.

That gets Sonny out of his game-related stupor. “I don’t need a wedding!” he cries. “Let’s just get married right now!”

Why are all his friends so hopelessly stubborn? Sonny’s not even drunk– just terribly impatient. Every day, the two of them seemed to get more and more impatient, eager to just do it already, but they couldn’t bear to move the date because their sentimentality matched their impatience pace for pace.

It made planning a veritable headache, but it was the nice, sweet kind of headache that comes with doing something for someone you love, so he could bear with it.

Fine. Intervention it is, then.

“Hey, Vanta,” Shu begins, taking a few steps closer. “I think the stereo’s been on the fritz, so you should take a look at it.” Then, conspiratorially, he places a hand on Sonny’s shoulder, lowering his voice a smidgen like it’s some big secret. “He’ll definitely need the help, so you should come with him. Make sure he’s doing ok.”

“Yeah!” Wilson pipes up. “Vanta sucks at repairing shit. I don’t even ask him anymore.”

“I did not corrode the fucking toaster! You put in your stupid curry bread and left it there to rot!”

“Sure. But you couldn’t fix it!”

Feeling safe enough with the new direction of conversation, Shu ducks out, running off to somewhere where he can be alone. Maybe he’ll go lay under a tree for a few minutes, delighting in the taste of solitude.

The pre-wedding jamboree lasted a bit like that. He’d busy himself for a while before taking a break, running off to put out some little fire here or there. 

Maybe calling it a fire is a bit of an overstatement. Sonny and Alban are meticulous (or close enough, anyway), so everything is mostly smooth. The beachside is lovely, adorned in bright flowers and spools of gossamer and lace. Their suits are well-fitting. There are no ring disasters, no overbooked hotels, no flat tires, and certainly no rained-out photographers. 

All of the big things are already in place, so it’s mostly the little things that he tries to handle. Shu double-checks the allergens, straightens out the placards, and does all the fussy little things that no one would care about. 

At the ceremony, Sonny almost trips on his way to the altar, his attention elsewhere as his foot hits a snag on a wayward branch, but he recovers, looking up with the most awe-filled expression he’s ever seen on his face.

The reception is lovely. The ceremony was otherwise pretty dang beautiful, and it seems like the rest of the night is going to go just fine.

And it’s not lonely at all, actually, being surrounded by all this love because it’s such a joyous celebration that it deserves no less than that.

When the music starts, he turns off wedding planner mode in favour of becoming regular Shu, swaying a little as he looks up at the sky. He knows how to wow a crowd, sure, but now’s not the time for that. Claude’s out there somewhere, but he doesn’t really have the heart to do anything now, good or bad, so he doesn’t try very hard to seek him out.

If he wants him to be there, then he’ll come find him. Shu isn’t sure how much he wants to see him if he doesn’t want him to be there, so he’s fine staying here. It’s been a good day all around. 

The whole affair is lovely, and he swims in the satisfaction of a job well done. 

Tonight truly is a night for love, so that’s what he focuses on– not the tablecloths or the registry or the soft jazz that’s begun to stream through the speakers that’s just begging for a slow dance. Just love.

Love is such a beautiful thing, and those two deserve nothing but the best.

-

The next morning, Shu wakes up feeling knocked around his skin, which is ridiculously unfair. He didn’t even drink last night, too afraid he’d pass out and miss something important. Uki suggested working on increasing his limit– one drink, maybe two if it’s weaker– a couple months back, but he never liked drinking much anyway, so he saw no real point.

Now though, although he doesn’t regret it, he still feels a little sorry for himself. The end result was the same the next morning.

Something is a little bit odd though. His suitcase is open but mostly intact, the contents still strewn about the closet. The weather is just as beautiful as before with no sign of the wind that forced them off the beach late last night. Even his phone seems a little behind the times, showing him an eclectic mix of memes and photos that he distinctly remembers already seeing over lunxh.

The suspicion builds and builds with every step he takes, recognising things here and there, and sure enough, the newspaper in the lobby still says May 1st on it even though it definitely shouldn’t. But when he asks if it’s outdated, the receptionist just furrows his brow, politely informing him that that’s all that they have.

Still, he isn’t satisfied yet. What if this is just some cosmic prank?

Every good scientist needs to reproduce their findings, and Shu is a very scientific sort of sorcerer. To accomplish that, Shu squeezes himself behind the shed near the courtyard, confident that no one will notice. It’s not the kind of place someone would stumble upon by accident, after all. 

Sure enough, the same deliverymen come as he remembers, clad in their olive green jumpsuits. They leave the familiar hefty box by the entryway and Shu curses at the thought of moving it again. He really needs to find some better way to do things this time. There was a dolly somewhere in some of the supply closets, so maybe he can ask for that.

You see, Shu Yamino is a man of logic.

Time loops may be foreign to him, but this isn’t his first magical rodeo. It’s simple. He’ll just figure out what went wrong and correct it, and then bam! Everyone can move on with their lives. 

And the main event of the day is obviously the wedding, so all he has to do is make sure it runs perfectly. Simple. Today will be better than yesterday, which was in turn better than the day before that.

To start with, he runs back and grabs the tie from the bottom of his bag, grateful that he went the extra mile to cram it all in there. Then, when Mysta runs around asking anyone if he can borrow theirs, he’ll already be ready to hand it off. Ties aren’t really his thing, so he never brought one out originally, but he can admit that they have their uses.

A little tie may not seem important, but when Mysta was doing that, he ended up taking one from Vox who in turn was actually supposed to be with Fulgur, meaning they won’t spend 20 minutes later wondering where he ran off to.

Once that’s done, he grabs an extra cooler– so they don’t have to prioritise drinks over additional desserts– and clears the altar area of any sneaky branches. And he doesn’t even run into statue guy while he’s out in the foyer, so nothing manages to break his focus. He should just stick to what he’s good at, adorning a corner with his smile.

Anyway, nothing can get him down! 

Not even the bizarre loss of the cake knife can bog him down. He’s pretty sure there were no problems with that last time, but it’s no trouble at all, pulling out a spare as he reminds the staff to take out the dowels this time to avoid any compression-related mishaps.

As the time ticks just past noon, Shu adopts his best stern expression, finding Sonny pacing around the halls with his retinue in tow. The first time this happened, he said no, but now he says yes, leading him over to Alban, who found him on his own yesterday regardless of their many attempts to distract them both. They’re happier and calmer together, so it’s fine to leave them be.

Someone laughs a little at the picture, commiserating in their combined wasted effort as they deem them the most irritating couple alive.

“They are,” Shu readily agrees, recalling all the crazy situations they’ve landed him in over the years. “But still. Our job is to make them happy, and I think we’re doing pretty great.”

No one ever pegged them as the first couple in their midst to tie the knot, but he supposes that they’re so self-assured that it was the obvious next step. Passion alone can’t fuel a life together, but they’ve got it all: passion, compassion, a little streak of madness. Married life will suit them well. Now they have even more excuses to be freaky and to celebrate their own little milestones.

With all that effort, the wedding is naturally even more perfect than before, propped up by Shu’s double triple quadruple checking, and people actually smile as they pick through their food and listen to a beautiful round of speeches, the familiarity a steady comfort. 

Tonight was just like last night but better, and Shu slumps into bed after a fair bit of dancing, ready to congratulate them again in the morning. It was a busy day, but a great one, and there’s no way this won’t be enough to stop things for good.

With that, Shu drifts off to sleep, confident. It was simply perfect.

-

The next time Shu wakes up in bed, it’s not to the sight of the sun peeking its rosy cheeks through a few wispy clouds on a beautiful spring day. He’s not that lucky. No, instead when he wakes, he merely blinks up at his phone– confirming that yes, it’s still the same day as it was yesterday and the day before– and goes right back to sleep, eager to push off the feeling of failure.

Great.

What more could he have possibly needed to do?

Everything was perfect last time. The cake didn’t topple; no one tripped over their shoes; everyone was perfectly in place. Alban and Sonny looked positively elated that night, and the lights were glowing softly as they had their first dance, and the ceremony went off without a hitch. 

It just doesn’t make any sense. It was textbook perfection.

That should have been enough to close the loop, but somehow it wasn’t, and he has no idea why. He’ll have to ask Millie or Scarle later and see if they have any input, but temporal magic– and he’s assuming it’s magic because no one else seems particularly aware of the circular passage of time– is notoriously tricky, so he can’t just assume they’ll know what to do either.

It’s a real thinker. If the solution was not perfection, then he supposes he can afford to relax a little, taking more time to brainstorm possible solutions.

He even takes breakfast with Claude this time, pretending to be engrossed in the food. In reality, he’s lost in thought trying to figure out what went wrong. If those small tweaks weren’t enough to end it, then he has room to experiment, but that also means he has so much left to try.

“Want some?”

Shu smiles before pushing the fork away, staring off into the eggy middle distance. If it happens again, maybe he’ll get some other type of food. This is too heavy for his stomach to handle right now.

Hopefully it won't happen again though. Hopefully he just finds whatever tiny thing isn't quite right.

There must be some reason why he’s stuck here after all. Something big. Something important.

“I’m good. Thanks.”

You sure? You don't look too hot right now.”

Shu blinks, stretching his back as he brings his focus back to the table. Claude’s lips are slightly glossy, but he tries not to pay attention to that little detail. His hair’s neater too. He came out an hour later than yesterday, so it must have given him time to freshen up. 

“I’m just a little tired. That’s all.”

Tossing his attention elsewhere is all in vain though, since Claude reaches out dangerously close to Shu’s face, moving his hair out the way before it can land in his cup. 

Right. He forgot to tie it back today, too busy with all this other stuff. 

“Tell me about it. It feels like we’ve been planning this shit forever. I can’t wait for them to go on their honeymoon for real.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

After breakfast, he decides to run out to the beach for a while, letting the wind suffuse through his entire being. The breeze is stronger here, right by the water, and it’s like balm for his slightly flushed complexion.

Rather than merely repeat the day again and again, straining to remember exactly what happened, today will be a day for research. It might be important, knowing who goes where and why. Knowing what else is happening elsewhere in the hotel. Knowing what detail he possibly could have missed.

The cure for uncertainty is almost always more knowledge, so he’s confident that it’ll help. 

By the end of the afternoon, he’s got a pretty clear picture of who was responsible for what, when they did it, and where that left them by the evening. It’s all stored on a piece of paper that he’s tucked into his pocket, curious if objects can transcend time too should he be sent tumbling back to the morning.

At the reception, he keeps up his observation, watching Claude spin around from partner to partner. Finana to Wilson to Vivi and back, he goes around with everyone, spending no more time with each than he expected. And he looks like he’s having fun, which Shu can appreciate.

He tries to avoid staring for too long though. It’s too early to get distracted by the sound of his laughter, or the way the stars seem to echo in his wake like the trail of a fleeting comet, or the way his smile gets shyer when the music slows down, holding a hand out for his partner. 

Instead of doing any of that, Shu hops to his feet as his target walks past, dashing over to meet her.

“Millie!” he shouts, weaving around one of the tables.

“Shu? Don’t tell me you’re here to dance? You should have asked earlier. My dance card’s already full for the night. The woes of being popular, I guess.”

Shu laughs, giving her a little curtsey and then a bow. “Maybe later. I actually had a question about magic, if you don’t mind.”

“Magic?” she repeats, sounding understandably confused. “You’re not still working tonight or– wait are you? Because you should rest for a second too.”

“No, it’s– I’m just curious. That’s all. Do you know anything about temporal magic? Looping. Not time travel.”

“Looping?” Millie looks delighted, eager for his insight. He supposes they share that. Curiosity. A desire to understand the unknown. “Not directly, but it shouldn’t be too hard to deal with. Usually there’s some sort of grudge or wish or unresolved conflict at the heart of it. It’s more of an emotional thing than time travel since there’s fewer calculations involved. As long as you solve that, then you should be fine.”

It’s exactly what he feared. That’s about as far as his limited knowledge goes too.

“And there’s no way to tell what it is? The conflict?”

It’s hard to imagine that it’s something about the wedding, but it could be. And if it is, Shu wants to take care of it as soon as he can.

“I don’t think so? Maybe you could give it a try since sorcery might work a little differently, but I’ve never heard of anything working before. Don’t tell me you’re–”

“No, not at all!” Shu lets out a strained laugh as he tries his best to lie his way out of this. “There’s just some requests I get from time to time. Don’t want to accept any jobs I can’t comfortably handle, so I thought I’d ask while you’re here. Get a second opinion.”

Millie hums, debating whether or not to push him, but she eventually lets him go with a sigh. 

“Just be careful, okay?”

“Of course. Have a nice night.”

It’s not like he hasn’t thought to try it before, throwing magic into the mess.

When he drags his feet into his room, the first thing he does is try to channel his magic into some sort of signal or sign, but when he opens up his eyes, he’s greeted by nothing but darkness. Of course. Nothing is that simple and easy, not for him.

Without anything else to go on, he just has to be more careful. 

That’s all.

-

In the morning, the same rosy sunrise hovers in the sky, and there’s only so many times you can appreciate something’s beauty until it starts to go stale.

This time, Shu resolves himself to retrace his steps from the first loop. Because everything presumably started on that day, there must have been some clue to the underlying conflict in that day in particular. It must have been something he missed back then. 

Eager to be faithful to his best recollection, he drags himself out– no tie, no extra polish on his shoes, no sewing kit in his pocket– and makes his way into the lobby, glad to finally make some real progress. 

First things first, Shu does not gawk at Claude in the lobby. Instead, he hauls himself into the courtyard where he grabs the ginormous box– since no matter how much he’d rather take two trips to lug it over in halves, he’s trying hard to be faithful to the original timeline– and he sighs as he recalls just how long he’ll be burdened by it. 

Statue guy mutters something as he shoves his way past, but he’s a little too occupied to worry about formalities. Today, he can be slightly bold and reckless and trade some dignity for some peace.

It's like he can never win. Ask him to move and he’ll look down on you, but do nothing and he’ll still get upset.

Shu should just let it go. 

He should really just let it go and get on with the day, but the little petty part of him wants to kick up a fuss. It wants to release some of this tension because he’s not going to remember it anyway and they’re already enemies (to some extent), so there’s nothing to lose, really. He already saved some time by rushing, so it’s okay if he uses some of it up here, getting a good answer from him.

Today, the devil wins out. “What was that?” he asks, unable to stop himself completely. 

“I said you were nicer last time.”

“What?”

“Nevermind. You wouldn’t get it anyway.”

Shu frowns. “You obviously have something to say, so let’s hear it. No need to be shy.”

There are only two explanations that make sense, and he really, really hopes it’s the second one. He does not want to deal with this guy in every instance of today.

“You’re probably not going to believe me but–” he pauses, sighing before snatching the box out of his hands, telling him he’s going to hurt himself. Shu half-heartedly bats his hands at it. He’s grateful, but he doesn’t really want to owe him anything. “Anyway. As I was saying, you were much nicer last time. Or not quite last time, but the first time? It’s a little confusing.”

Ah. Option number one, then. Darn it.

What sort of magic could possibly involve him? What problem could possibly need his assistance to solve it? It’s a real puzzle. His mere presence complicates the equation.

It’s not like he’s useless– the ease with which he moves around the box while he talks makes his strength quite obvious– but Shu had assumed this issue– whatever it is– would be the more delicate and magical sort. And this man… is not quite either of those.

“–and that's how I realised the days were repeating!”

“I see.”

“And you were much less cranky in the beginning too. I don’t really get it.”

And okay. Maybe he doesn't owe Luca an explanation, but it's only fair that he gets one, seeing as they may even need to work together. The mere thought sends shivers down his spine. 

They must have been left here for a reason.

By now, his anger has left him, and Shu launches into his explanation with newfound fervour. It feels quite good, honestly, just letting it out. Admitting it out loud. First he starts with the wedding as he first remembers it, the things he did, and then he moves on to the second.

With each word, Luca grew more and more confused, blinking slowly like someone struggling to make up their mind. “And that's all you’ve tried so far?” he asks, head tilted a bit to the right.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Let's just do the opposite then! Maybe things were going a little too well.”

The goodwill he was slowly regaining immediately vanishes. What a terrible idea. Shu takes it back completely. They most certainly will not be working together, it seems.

“So what are you, then? Jilted lover? Disapproving family member?” Shu counts off each hypothetical with the touch of a finger. “Why do you want to ruin their wedding so badly?”

“Okay, first of all. Ew. Alban’s my brother, and he’s been nothing but happy. Secondly, I’m not trying to destroy their relationship! I was just throwing the idea out. You know, since your betterment plan has worked so well the last two times you tried.”

Shu narrows his eyes, playing back the hundreds of times he’s met Alban in the past. “How come we’ve never met before then? If that’s really true.”

“I dunno. Maybe your memory’s just bad.”

His memory is the bad one? Why would he be the bad guy here when Luca’s the one whose first idea was ruining their wedding? What a joke.

“You can’t be serious.”

Luca shrugs. “I can just do it by myself if you don’t want to come.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not letting you run amuck like that!” Shu can already picture it now: Luca switching around the placards, misplacing crates so that things are conveniently missing– he’d probably do it all with that big, gummy smile of his, perfectly content to watch the whole thing crumble. 

Luca practically smirks, and Shu gets the sinking feeling that he’s playing right into his hands. “So you’re coming with, then?”

“Well. Someone has to keep an eye on you. I didn’t appreciate that stunt you pulled yesterday either.”

“What?” Luca’s smirk slips into more of a wide-eyed scowl. “I didn’t do a thing last time! I didn’t even see you!”

“Who else would have if not you? You literally came up to me now saying you wanted to ruin the wedding!”

Luca continues to deny the accusations, and his general combativeness reminds Shu exactly why he didn’t want to team up with him in the first place. He just doesn’t see this teamwork business panning out in the long run. 

If he can't even admit to nicking a little knife, then he surely can't be trusted on his word alone. 

But still. He’s already agreed, and the help would be nice when it’s his turn to lead, so maybe just this once, he can give it a try. When Uki inevitably hounds him for an explanation, then he’ll throw Luca to the wolves. It’ll be fine.

“Fine. Just this once. But you’re doing the talking if we end up getting caught.”

Luca laughs in response and the sound flits away a bit like he’s suddenly being carried around the room.

“Sure,” he says, clapping a hand on Shu’s shoulder. The other arm stays wrapped around the box, but he throws it into the first empty closet they see, proudly proclaiming it’ll be the first step of their grand plan.

And wow, a man can still appreciate another man’s strength while maintaining a professional half-enemyship. Because yeah. That’s pretty cool. 

Shu’s great at rationalising things like that.

As long as no one cares what they’re doing, it’s alright. As long as no one gets seriously hurt at the end of the day, it’s fine. As long as he doesn’t pay too much attention, as long as he doesn’t let reality sink in so hard that it shows on his face, then it’s all good.

They don’t do anything with lasting consequences– he doesn’t want to ruin the whole affair, after all. It’s just little things. Shu doesn’t correct the kitchen this time around. Luca uses a nail clipper like a seam ripper, tearing out the hem so Alban’s suit will sit a little long. Despite his proud declaration that they’ll wreck the whole wedding, it’s all minor inconveniences like that, designed to merely create a mildly disastrous one.

Luca always finds some new way to surprise him. He’s goofy about everything he expected they’d need to take seriously and serious about the little things that shouldn’t even matter.

Take the altar, for instance. It wasn’t a very hard tweak to make. All they had to do was move it ever so slightly off-centre compared to the archway, but Luca started spouting nonsense about where it should go on the cartesian plane instead of just getting on with it. Who cares how far off it is as long as it’s off?

“We should talk,” Luca says, setting it somewhere vaguely near (-1, 0). Why he insists on introducing the y-component when they’re just pushing it a little to the left also eludes him. It’s equally pointless.

Shu watches him hesitantly, his slightly rounded cheeks and his mysterious gaze, and tries to get a sense of it all. He’s definitely a strange one.

“About what? More ways to ruin a beautiful day?”

It’s misdirected anger, but man does it feel good letting it out.

Luca wrinkles his nose, standing back to examine their handiwork. “Funny. I meant the loop though.”

“I thought we already went over it.”

“We did! But like… why us?”

Shu sighs. His hands stop midway through tying the parasols shut, and the cord goes slack around his wrists. “If I knew that, then I wouldn’t be here right now trying to figure out how to tie a good knot. I wouldn’t be here at all.”

“Here, let me.” Luca’s hands cover his for a second before Shu shakes his loose, stepping back to give him enough space to take care of it.

“Fancy knot you’ve got there. Did you learn about that one in mafia school?”

While he’s certain he’s never met him before, he does remember some of Alban’s explanations for why his brother could never show up to their parties. It was an occupational hazard of some kind, apparently.

Luca stammers when he hears the accusation, and it makes Shu wonder just how long he was going to play innocent. “Hey! I don’t hurt people, okay? Or… well– I don’t mess with anyone that doesn’t already deserve it.”

The dissonance makes him laugh. It’s hard to imagine him hurting anyone without feeling bad about it. He can take that though, being the lesser of two evils. Mafia leader or death specialist, take your pick.

“So maybe this is all your fault, then. I’m sure you’ve picked up your fair share of unresolved grudges over the years.”

“Hey! Aren’t you a magician? This is obviously some kind of magic, so it’s definitely your fault!”

Shu groans, preparing the canned speech about the differences between studied magic and innate magic. “Sorcery isn’t something you can just use and control on a whim. It just… happens. And we just met yesterday! Why would it involve you if it was solely my problem?”

“I dunno. Because the universe hates us?”

“Still. I doubt it. My field is death-related magic, so time stuff isn’t really my thing.”

Luca laughs and shakes his head, telling him that he feels so assured knowing that’s what he specialises in. As if the kooky scenario wasn’t bad enough.

“C’mon.” Shu gets behind him and pushes him back towards the lobby. “We have to get ready for the ceremony.”

The wedding is a beautiful catastrophe. 

Honestly, he’s not sure what they were thinking, imagining they could ruin it at all. 

Sonny and Alban could have gotten married under a leaky tarp in the middle of monsoon season and still be the happiest couple alive. So standing a ways off in the silt, staring guiltily at the way Sonny looks so reverent– the way he stares at Alban like he’s just handed him the moon on a stick– beneath the canopy of stars, Shu decides to take matters into his own hands.

If the root cause is unresolved emotions, then there’s one big one that he’s been avoiding ever since he first noticed it. It’s the one problem he wished he could forget he even had.

Shu makes sure to slip into the crowd once Luca’s back is turned, eager to keep the embarrassment confined only to himself for the remainder of the night. No need to invite unnecessary commentary, after all.

If he’s lucky, tomorrow will come, and he’ll never have to see Luca again.

“Claude?” His voice is edged like it may crack under the slightest bit of pressure. “Can we talk?”

“Of course.” Claude looks hesitant, slightly started and soft under the moonlight. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Shu takes a deep breath. 5 seconds in. 7 seconds out.

He can do this! Sure, he never imagined that he ever really would, but he can do this.

“No, it’s just um– and you don’t have to feel the same way. I know you don’t. But if I don’t say it now, then I probably never will, so I just wanted to say that I like you. Romantically. And it’s okay if you don’t– I mean– I can handle it. I don’t expect anything from you. And maybe you already knew and it’s fine if you did. I just… I wanted you to know. That’s all.” 

There was so much left on the table, but he didn’t know how to plate it, so Shu stopped himself there, letting his words vanish into the distant sounds of joy and laughter.

Standing in the middle of the offending flood, Claude opens his mouth once again, but Shu misses most of it, lost in his own thoughts. If his life were an anime, this is the exact moment where the fireworks would burst, grateful for the cacophony that envelops every sound. He kept looking up, waiting for some sign that this was it. 

This is not a movie or a show or something he can just turn away from though. No, it isn’t at all, so instead he has to stand there and watch Claude look at him with a pinched look in his eyes as he says, “I’m sorry.”

There’s more that Shu doesn’t catch and more than he says, his lips moving softly through his frantic frame of reference, but he can barely stomach listening to anything else that comes after, and he takes off with some poor excuse of a plant that needs watering. Or a fire. Or a fire that needs planting. The exact details escape him.

What a disaster.

Today has been a disaster all around from start to finish. How naive and egotistical could he be, assuming today’s problems start and end with him?

And as he runs from the beach, feeling his feet sink into the sand, he hopes the universe gets that he’s trying his best. He’s owned up to every possible little unresolved thing, and in the process, he’s opened himself up to hatred from everyone he knows from all those ridiculous changes they made, so this better be it. This better have been worth it.

A finger brushes against his wrist, but Shu shakes it all off. It could be Luca, who he abandoned somewhere near the weeping desserts, but it could also be Claude, who he absolutely cannot handle seeing right now, and he refuses to turn around to find out.

Time. That’s exactly what he needs right now. 

More time. 

Enough time that he could wrap himself up in it like a blanket, swaddled and safe for at least another week so he can deal with his wounds.

Shu just wishes he could move on and leave this whole time loop business behind him, but for the rest of the night he’ll have no way of knowing how well their plans turned out, merely squishing his face into the pillow like it’s a big pile of sand.

That’s the worst part. The uncertainty.

-

The ensuing morning is completely disheartening. It’s worse than the last three combined. At this rate, he might grow to hate the whole month of May.

It didn't work because of course it didn't. Nope. Life can never be that easy for good old Shu Yamino.

Instead, he embarrassed himself for no reason, finding out the answers to questions he never wanted answered with absolutely nothing to show for it. And while his body isn’t sore from all their ridiculous scheming, his mind feels like it should be sore, and that disconnect is enough to send phantom pangs through his nerves from time to time, a constant reminder of his failure.

If it’s not the wedding, and it’s not anything he did to change it, and it's not even his feelings for Claude, then what could possibly be left to explore? What could be so important that it traps them all in this mess?

With that thought in mind, Shu prepares himself for the next step of the journey: testing the spatial limits of this crazy thing.

After all, he could really go for some good, old-fashioned running away right about now.

There’s just one big problem with all of that: Shu can’t drive. 

He doesn’t even have the keys, and he’s certainly not asking Claude if he can borrow them. It’s too soon to stare at his face and remember the way it curled up when he apologised yesterday. After a few minutes of lying around feeling sorry for himself, he eventually made it out of his room. And he supposes the enemy– Luca– of his enemy– the time loop– is his friend, so something possesses him to try asking him for help.

To be more specific, the idea comes to him when Luca comes out to the parking lot with a hat and a pair of sunnies on his head, and Shu immediately begins interrogating him once he’s made his way over. He looks a lot more casual this way, switching out the suit and jacket for a simple pair of slacks with a black sweater on top. More comfortable, too.

Luca gives him a once-over with half of a smile. “So you don't have any other clothes to wear?”

Shu’s cheeks go red, embarrassment storming its way into his chest. 

Okay, here's the full picture. While he wanted to run away from it all, which obviously meant some actual running around outside, he didn't really have the right attire for it, so he’s still wearing his suit as he ducks beside a bush. His shirt’s a little wrinkled from the time he spent sitting out on the curb, debating if he should go walk to the nearest bus stop or not. 

He probably would have if Luca didn’t show up.

“I couldn't fit them in my bag! I was gonna go out the day after the wedding, but, well. You know how well that plan worked out.”

Luca waves his hand, telling him to come on over already. “Let's stop somewhere on the way over then. It shouldn’t take too long to find something a little more comfortable.”

“The way over where?”

“Out. I’m guessing you couldn’t fit keys in that suitcase of yours either.”

Shu’s not really one for company. Not after the disaster of last night. He thought getting caught by Doppio was bad enough, forcing them to furiously explain why they were uprooting and replanting every tenth flower, but nothing compares to knowing the answer to a question he'd rather have remained a permanent mystery. 

When it’s about to frost over, everyone covers their more fragile plants with tarps and huge swathes of plastic. On and off during the winter, the plants hunker down too, covered in the illusion of safety, and though the freeze still comes, it makes you feel better about it, like maybe they’re a little bit protected with a sheet in the way.

That's how he feels now. He's the plant that lost his sheer tarp, and now he's got to get used to the cold.

Shu opens his mouth to protest, but in all honesty, he could use the distraction, so he doesn’t even bother. “Okay,” he agrees. “But I want to test the limits to this loop thing, so you’ll probably end up driving for a while.”

He’s not one for company right now, but Luca isn't really company, he decides, since they’re merely two people trying to run away at the same time. That much, he can probably handle.

Luca shrugs. “Fine by me. I think we’re due a little change in scenery anyway.”

Shu regrets it almost immediately. As Luca drives over, Shu tilts his head to inspect the vehicle, unsure what he was hoping for. It’s the kind of monstrous thing that could probably drive across the beach with no problems, grey and dusty with windows like an owl’s eyes.

“Shu!” There comes the yell. Whenever he attempts to say his name, he always prolongs the end, coming off more like a Shuuu than anything more recognisable. Luca’s arm pops out through the open window. “Get in!”

It turns out that those enormous windows were a necessity. The engine dumped all its excess heat straight in the chassis, and the AC never worked well to begin with, so that was the only way to let some of it out. In the end, they were forced to go the more primitive route of hoping any air travelling through the windows would give them respite from the heat.

Shu rethinks his desperation for a second. Does he really need to run away that badly? 

Is this the basket within which he wants to carelessly toss all his precious, heartbroken eggs? Trapped in a creaky metal box with someone he’s just met?

He doesn’t get long to grapple with what’s best in this situation. As soon as he puts his hand on the door, there’s a streak of something white and purple visible near the courtyard, and he absolutely cannot take any chances right now, so he opts for the lesser evil, practically leaping into the car and slamming the door behind him.

“Sorry about the heat. It’s a rental.”

It’s hot, but it isn't terrible, so Shu just ducks down a little until he rolls onto the road. Once he’s confident he won’t be seen, he remerges.

“Really? And here I was thinking big and dusty was your thing.”

Once they're about twenty minutes out, Luca fiddles with the middle compartment, looking for something he must have left inside. He does it all by shape, his long fingers tracing over each edge and contour of whatever’s been tossed in there. 

Shu resists the urge to put his hand on the wheel to steady it whenever he takes his eyes off the road.

“So, are you married?” Luca asks, humming a little. It’s unclear if he found what he was looking for. “You sure seem to love weddings. Or hate ruining them, in any case.”

Shu grimaces. Two topics that he didn’t really want to think about yet. “Not even close.”

“Girlfriend, then? Or boyfriend, I don’t judge.”

“I’m not exactly blessed in the love department. So…”

“Oh. Yeah. Me neither.”

The conversation peters out after that. Luca has a few more questions, but he doesn’t really have much to say to them. They’re just two not-quite-strangers stuck in the same bad situation. It’s not worth putting too much meaning into it. Evidently, nothing they’ve tried has been particularly useful yet anyway.

Still, he supposes it’s slightly comforting, knowing that he isn’t totally alone here. 

The wedding day was always a beautiful one, and today is no exception. The clouds loll around the sky as the sun pierces straight into the sea. On each side of the road was a thicket of trees, the branches still clinging to their leaves. And Luca is a kind chauffeur, stopping whenever he asks so long as they can stop together.

If they do this again, then he’s going to have to find a different place to buy some clothes. The shirt he hurriedly got is a little too big on him, and he doesn’t really care if that’s the style these days or how intentional it may be. One sleeve keeps falling off his shoulder, and Luca keeps sending him pitying looks as he tries to pick it up. It’s the last thing he wants to see right now. He’s tired of pity.

To be honest, all roads look the same to him. He has no idea where they’re even going, but it feels good, knowing they’re getting away from something. It’s a new kind of progress, and there’s still that little part of him that hopes they can break this loop by just getting far enough from the main hub of it. It would be nice if they could.

Luca’s mind is elsewhere, evidently. Maybe he left it back where they grabbed lunch.

Maybe he lost it long before that. The encounter still plays back in his head in a disorientating sort of loop of its own.

“Should we kiss?” Luca had asked, staring directly into the center of his burger. He wasn't even looking at his face! But it was clearly directed at him. If he wanted to make out with his sandwich, then he certainly didn’t have to ask.

And should they what? 

In what world would that possibly help?! They hardly even know each other!

“Isn’t that how it always works in movies?” he continued, humming as he ripped open a little sachet of sauce. “You make up because you reflect on life and then pow! Loop over. Everyone’s happy.”

It's official. He’s crazy. Crazy and naive and full of ridiculous ideas.

“So you do know that I’m mad. You were just choosing to ignore it.”

The whole “ruin the wedding” plan did nothing but place him in increasingly awkward situations. He can’t say he’s Luca’s biggest fan right now, having received the bulk of the ensuing embarrassment. 

“I wouldn’t say ignore! I thought we were doing the right thing.”

Shu’s jaw clenched, but he nodded as he listened because he felt it too. He did. After a while, part of him did think it could help. It’s just that another part of him wished that wasn’t going to be the answer, and then still felt betrayed when it wasn’t, so now he’s stuck with those feelings too. 

“Yeah, well I think you just want to kiss me.”

“Hey! I never said I would be the kisser. You came up with that part on your own.”

“Come up with a new plan and then we can talk,” he said in return, tossing some cash on the table. There’s no way he’s going to let Luca get away with paying for them both.

It’s ridiculous. Even if– and that’s a big stretch because it just makes no sense– this loop was some sort of strange romantic purgatory, then why would it stick him next to Luca of all people? Why is it with a stranger and not with Claude, who he’s been nursing feelings for for ages like they’re an unseemly bruise?

Luca is nothing if not dutiful, however. He drives and he drives, going past valleys and old billboards with various fading letters strewn all over the grass. And somehow they find a way to survive, caught in that hotbox for hours on end. It gets a little cooler after the sun sets, at least.

“What if we got married?”

“Are you crazy? You turned so red when you asked about kissing. I thought you were going to pass out.”

“What if we kill each other?”

Shu’s not really amused by the hypotheticals. The words barely shock him anymore. He’s come to the conclusion that that’s just what Luca likes to do for fun, saying whichever thought wins out over the others out loud.

As they drive, Shu leans forward, looking up with squinted eyes as if the past and the future are things that need to be hunted to be seen. He pictures the great big brushstrokes the tires must be making in their wake, an abstract spiral thrown on top of a familiar landscape.

He hoped they’d find something obvious– some sort of barrier or broken bridge they couldn’t cross– but there’s nothing of note on any of the roads. The other cars pass without any sign or recognition. At some point, he makes Luca pull over, insistent that he gets some rest. They’re not going to find the answer today either, so there’s no reason to push it.

“Goodnight, Luca. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A jacket lands on top of his head as he pillows his head with arms.

“See you.”

It turns out the answer varies. On days when they drive as fast as possible, they can sometimes slip into another time zone, but the pull of magic brings them hurtling back regardless, right before midnight back at the hotel. So, no, they cannot just outrun the whole thing to try to buy themselves more time to think. It doesn’t work that way.

Whatever’s causing this must be somewhere back there.

The time after that run, when it’s finally sunk in that no amount of running will ever save him, he’s so frustrated that he considers calling in sick– or proverbially calling in sick, anyway. Everything’s already perfectly set (or close enough, seeing as it doesn’t matter anyway), so it won’t matter if he doesn’t show for the reception. But if he says he’s sick, then he’ll have to explain to someone, probably Uki, exactly what’s wrong with him, and he’s not ready to have that conversation right now either.

And he’s not good at lying. 

And he’s tired. No matter how much he sleeps, he never quite shakes it off.

So instead of telling anyone anything, he decides to just hole himself up in his room for the day instead, curious to see if it’ll help if he doesn’t meet anyone and doesn’t affect anything.

At some point, Claude knocks, his identity evident by the hesitance in the sound, the way he favours knocking with the back of his hand instead of the front. 

“Shu?” he says, words muffled by the door and the pile of stuff he wedged in front of it in case anyone gets any clever ideas.

Shu does not answer. He doesn't want to even think about it.

It’s not like he’s too mortified to ever face him again. It's not going to dent their unshakable friendship. He’s just… not ready yet. 

And it certainly doesn’t help, the painful reminder of all the things he’s tried and failed. None of it seems to do a thing. He can’t drive out and escape it, and he can’t inoculate everyone else from coming into contact with him.

Even when he stays up all night, never quite falling asleep, there’s no way to escape. 

In the morning, Shu wakes up again to the same birds in the same sky and feels so frustrated that he wants to scream. 

-

The sky is beautiful and blue, vast and glassy through his ill-fitting goggles. They’ll probably leave a red ring looped around his eyes, but it’s fine. It’s fun, collecting all these little not-quite-scars like souvenirs that only his mind will remember.

There comes a point, once you’ve exhausted all your options, where you just say screw it, and just do whatever you please, and that’s where he’s at right now, comfortably using the time for whatever weird thing comes to mind. 

Scuba diving? Sure, sign him up. 

Skydiving? It always seemed a little intimidating and a lot expensive, but his bank account will be exactly the same tomorrow, so it’s fine. He can do it once now and then see if it’s worth ever trying again.

Randomly trying one dish at every single restaurant along the biggest, fanciest street in town, going down one by one as he bemoans each unfortunate roll of the dice? Who cares! The memory of hunger carries over. Food doesn’t. It’s a weird sort of liminal space.

Even feelings have inertia. After long enough willing yourself to feel a certain way, it’s only natural that you’ll be a little sad when it finally leaves you and the mask falls to the ground, useless.

It takes longer than he’d like to admit to stop feeling bad about shirking his self-maintained responsibilities. Part of him is still off in the wedding venue somewhere, tethered by his enormous sense of personal responsibility. But honestly, at the end of the day, if nothing sticks and nothing seems to matter, then now’s precisely the right time to do all the crazy stuff he’s always denied himself, often picking apart every possible reason why something is a little too reckless or expensive or embarrassing to do alone and using that as his excuse to avoid it.

It's purely self indulgent, but none of his varying levels of involvement have really seemed to matter yet, so it's fine if he switches up how often he shows up. After all, Shu's not so masochistic that he’d willingly throw himself in there again and again, knowing full well it isn't helping.

So, yeah. Now, he decides to pick one fun, new thing to try each day. It knocks out some of the monotony. And it’s good practice, learning how to break out of your entrenched, safe ways with the cushion of eternity to fall back on.

They are usually such little things that he’s passed over, always assuming there’d be time for it some other day. He’s often told himself, with care, that it was fine if these fantasies stayed as mere ideas, for if they grew into something more tangible, then they would grow out of the meagre allowance of their skin, bloated like fruit rotting in the sun. So, actually, it's fine if they never get a chance to sprout. That way, no one ever gets disappointed.

Now, he sees things a little differently.

Those are the kinds of sad calculations you make when your youth starts feeling like your eternal adult state, feeling too young to be wild but too old to try something life-alteringly, permanently different. Something that could scar. But, he supposes, now that the day doesn't matter, it's okay to be a little bit reckless.

In general, Shu is more than a little bit independent. He does what he wants, and he does it when he feels like it. But still, that doesn't mean he's foolhardy. Now, with the buffer of an endless supply of time that only he will have to remember to catch him, maybe now he can be a little foolish, greatly increasing the threshold for things he deems acceptably risky.

Luca is completely different from him. When he finds something he likes, he sinks his teeth into it, doing it again and again until well beyond the point where he should have reasonably sucked all the fun out of it. He’s like a hobby vampire in a way, happy to sink into what he knows he enjoys.

But, still, if Shu asks and finds the right way to frame it, then Luca will often agree to tag along. He’ll drive them out to the cliffside or take bets as they buy up every snack down one aisle of the convenience store, toting around their spoils as they decide which one item is the objective best. 

“Where are we going this time?” Luca would say, weaving through the parked cars as they race to find his behemoth. Each time they decide to go out, the starting point is a little different, so they can still wring out some fun from the race.

“Anywhere’s fine. Maybe to the park near the bank?”

“Why?”

“Aren't you feeling lucky? Let's go win the lottery.”

-

The lottery is a no go. Obviously. Even when they do win, it doesn’t really mean anything. They can’t collect the money anyway, but the idea is still fun because it’s just so ridiculous. 

He imagines old, unfamiliar Luca would have asked him why he needed the money because he’s got magic– which is really just his way of expressing his interest and curiosity– and old, stressed Shu would have taken that as an insult, getting upset that he asked. Then, he would be loud about it. Or, well. He would get as close to loud as he usually gets, petulant and petty. And part of that is because he doesn’t like to justify himself, even if that’s not what Luca was implying. 

He wouldn’t want to explain himself just because someone asked. If he does, then it no longer becomes his choice to share, so it’s infinitely less enjoyable.

But it’s different now. Now, he spins off into a story of his own, telling Luca about all the accidental mishaps he’s caused.

There was one day last summer– a weekend, he wants to say, considering how long it took before he got help– where the smoke alarm in his flat started beeping once every other minute. Low battery or something, probably, but he didn’t know, and he certainly couldn’t reach it to find out. And it’s not because he’s short! He may not be the most vertically gifted, but that wasn’t the problem. 

You see, some genius architect decided the best place for the alarm was on the ceiling right above the base of the stairs, so he couldn’t even reach it while he perched on top of his only ladder. And in moments like this, you’d think sorcery would come to play, sensing his innate need to get the noise to stop. And it actually did, but it was a little panicked too, flinging up a broomstick to whack the poor thing, which must have set off some bigger signal, since the whole alarm started blaring in earnest.

And of course, whenever he truly needs his sorcery (for personal reasons), it decides to conveniently bail on him, doing nothing at all to help. The broom made no other attempts to come to his aid, and in the end, he had to leap up onto the ladder himself, broom in hand, and whack the alarm off the ceiling to get it to stop. It narrowly missed his one (1) vase of half-dying flowers, the casing cracked from its collision with the wall, and a neighbour had to help him reinstall it later, politely avoiding the question of how exactly he ended up in that situation to begin with.

Luca offers up all the brilliant suggestions he never would have thought about. Ask a friend to lift you. Ask the fire department if they can spare a minute to get it down. Get a robot arm to extend your grip.

Shu bats his shoulder at the last one, telling him to go build one first.

It’s an even trade. Sometimes it’s his turn to share; sometimes it’s Luca’s.

Somewhere– more than a dozen loops ago, he imagines, but he’s sort of lost count– Shu realised that maybe he should learn how to befriend Luca. It’s the least he could do. And bedsides, there’s only so many things you can do alone. No one else would really get it, shocked that he wants to leave the venue just to try some rare fruits before the market closes for the day, and he can’t really blame them. It’s not their fault he’s lived this day enough to recite it.

So, yeah. Friends. That’s what they are now.

It wasn't as hard as he thought. 

Him and Luca, they’re like complementary colours. Okay, maybe they're not really opposites, but they work well together. So analogous colours, maybe. Harmonious.

On some days, it’s Luca who’s calling the shots, pulling them from place to place to the tune of a thousand drums. Other times, it’s Shu who’s got some tiny idea that they pull like thread, finding more and more ways to make it happen until the sun’s about to set. 

And then sometimes they pick things together. Those are the most enjoyable.

Take the aquarium, for instance. That one was a joint venture.

There’s something so magical and freeing about looking into the ocean. It’s a sight that they’d never get to see otherwise, bound by the laws of gravity and respiration. Fish whirl past like members of a chorus, each with their own little place in to be. There is just so much care that goes into a place like this. It’s so peaceful. 

The jellyfish are a bit like them. Meandering. Practically immortal under the right conditions.

So are the lobsters.

He’s glad they saved the botanical garden for another day. It’s been too long since he’s been in the sea. Each blurb is a fun excuse to pull out his best announcer voice, asking Luca to guess which fact of the bunch he spits out is true.

“You look happy,” Luca says, pointing back and forth between the different attractions. “I bet it was hard. Feeling responsible for everything.”

Shu presses his lips together in a thinning line. He didn’t think it would be so easy to tell. He doesn’t try to hide things, but he doesn’t reveal them either, clutching his softer parts close to his chest like a clam.

“I am,” he says after a while, humming as he waves his fingers in front of the glass. Sometimes the fish appear to wave back, twirling around near his wrists. 

It feels true coming out, and that revelation alone is enough to raise his spirits for the day.

As he looks out at Luca, sandy hair dyed a little more lavender under the turquoise gleam of spotlights passing through water, he imagines they both feel it, that little sense of relief at knowing they still have a little bit of control over their lives. 

They can’t make any lasting changes, but they can still decide what they’ll do to fill up the time, keeping the memories close to their chests like a flower, pressed under the weight of the indefinite. He is happy. Somehow, he found a way to do that.

And Luca’s a monster. The first thing he does when they sit down for lunch is to say, “I love crab!” before ordering some sort of risotto, sounding exactly like he did when he poked each of the walls of the little glass tanks at the aquarium, as if the meaning’s exactly the same.

Luca always keeps Shu on his toes– even when he already has some idea of what to expect. He’s probably laughed more in this past week than the whole previous month combined. Sometimes in shock, sometimes in commiseration, but there’s always something going on there.

Shu feigns horror when their food arrives, spitting out accusations of him being a liar, lulling the crabs into a false sense of security with his sweet, sweet lies. All this time, he just wanted to eat them! 

He’ll admit that he’s right once the joke has finally run through its course though. It does look pretty darn tasty. 

But then it hits him, midway through twirling his pasta onto his fork. “Luca,” he says, suddenly stern. He places his hands on the table, looking straight into his eyes.

Luca blinks owlishly, spoon still in hand, but Shu knows it’s mostly just for show. “What?”

“You’re allergic to crab! Why would you– Here. Trade with me. We can swap plates for today.”

Luca looks positively ecstatic as he licks his spoon, obviously quite proud of himself. “Too late,” he says. “My throat’s already itchy.”

They both know by now that food won’t stick inside your stomach. It’s probably not their bodies that are being transported but their souls, caught in some magical mental loop, so his allergic reaction will be gone by the morning. But still, it’s too reckless to assume everything’s going to be fine. Shu doesn't want to uproot his whole frame of reference too much, getting caught in the feeling that today may last forever. Isn't that too nihilistic?

“When else am I gonna get the chance to eat it?” Luca asks, still trying to convince him that this was a great idea. “This is literally the perfect occasion to try stuff like this.”

Shu sighs. He’s technically correct, but he doesn’t want it to be true. He doesn’t want this day to devolve into a series of pressing on uncomfortable things to see how much they hurt. They will still hurt. And even if your body forgets, the mind still remembers. The heart still has to live with it for a day.

Still, he can’t deny that it makes Luca happy.

“Fine,” he acquiesces, but not before making Luca promise he won’t do it again. 

“I wish you’d just trust me,” Luca murmurs, so quiet that he almost misses it. Part of him wants to reach out and pet his knuckles and reassure him, but the louder part decides to let him believe that he’s gotten away with his words. The illusion of privacy is better than nothing.

Instead of responding, Shu hums, taking in the strange decor on the walls.

Besides, that’s the scariest part about all these excursions and their whole crazy relationship. 

He’s never doubted just how much he trusts him– which is to say that he does trust him. Completely.

-

The days pass so swiftly that it almost makes him giddy. Shu’s reached a point of acceptance with it. If this is the situation that they find themselves trapped inside of, then all they can do is make the best of it. 

Luca is nice. Together, they share a bit of the maximalist approach to it, running around to try whatever mishmash of life suits them that day. Even quiet time together is nice, though he supposes none of it is perfectly quiet per se.

It works for them, and that’s what really matters. 

Maybe it’s because they literally only have each other to turn to, but it feels a little freeing. He has no previous expectations to live up to– no responsibilities, no awkward unfulfilled promises, and no complicated emotional history– so there’s no extra layer of worry between them. Or maybe it’s just that they’ve both worked on it, getting to a point where matching humour and mood comes easy and naturally.

There’s a selfish part of him that’s happy they’re the ones that are stuck together. Now, everything they do, everything they discover, it will all be shared and new. It’s something that only exists for the two of them. 

As Luca bursts out the door– Shu’s already been waiting by the beach, unable to lull himself back to sleep– and begins to look around, he waves before running over. Shu feels a little bad. He didn’t mean to make him worry.

The sky hardly sleeps. Night or day, it always seems to be going somewhere, and Luca tips his head up when he comes to a stop, curious at what’s captured his attention so completely.

It’s crazy because Shu’s stored so many things inside his chest to talk about, each idea like a cell that eventually makes up an entire beehive. He’s been scheming up a million things they could do, but now that Luca’s actually in front of him, the words fly away like migrating birds. They have never run out of things to say, but now his words have deserted him, and his drink nearly falls from his hands, so he chokes out some poor excuse about his hands being shocked and cold. It would have definitely fallen, had it not been steadied by Luca’s as he gently tells him that he needs to be more careful.

God, if he doesn’t already know it. He does need to be more careful. Now’s not the time to ruin things by complicating their perfect understanding.

Luca is pretty, to put it simply. 

His hair is a little fluffed up from his hurried progression through the lobby, swathed in big, baggy clothes– his night clothes, he recalls, feeling a bit embarrassed that he called him out so late– that he practically disappears into. It is so ordinary that it almost stands out amidst the flowers and the distant cheers of people who kept the party going. 

He does still try to attend the ceremony more often than not, even if he doesn’t stay for long. That part, seeing the smiles flood onto their cheeks, is a non-negotiable joy.

“They’re definitely cold,” Luca reports with a grin, his forehead resting against Shu’s shoulder. Their hands are barely touching.

What was he going to ask for? A couple minutes of conversation? Something silly to busy himself with until the day starts anew?

Maybe next time they should find some nocturnal activities to try. A show, perhaps, or a night hike.

Shu pouts, holding his hands a full arm’s length away as if they’ve offended him. “Well, warm them up then.”

He doesn’t really expect anything out of it. It’s just a little thing that slips up before he can take it back, a mistake he’s been more and more apt to do as of late, and Luca should not be so indulgent, so compliant. He should not grab his hands so softly with his own, looking down at him with a smile.

It does bad things to his heart.

Shu could do the smart thing. He could shake his head a little and focus and remind himself that this is just another bout of casual intimacy, the kind that flows from Luca’s heart like a wellspring, and that it means nothing, but he could also throw caution to the wind and tell Luca that there’s so many things he wishes they could do, so many events, so many milestones to reach. Things that can’t be confined to one measly day.

And he could do it. It would be easy. All he has to do is open his mouth and untie the bindings keeping his thoughts in harbour. But the aftermath? That would be hard. 

And though he’s been working on asserting himself, he’s not quite at the stage where he can throw all caution to the wind. 

But he could. 

If he really tried. He could grab his wrist and ask him to stop touching his hands like he wants something more and to stop talking for one second and–

“–but let’s get some rest,” Luca says, ending his story with a smile.

“Okay.”

And just like that, the moment was gone. So long and see you never.

It may come again in a different form, but that exact moment– them under the flickering lamplight, kicking up a cloud of laughter as they recall the atrocious burgundy shirt he tried on that day– is likely gone forever. It did make him feel better though, while it lasted.

Certainly, that’s why he called him, and he does feel better, so Shu begins his slow walk through the hallway, having just turned back towards his room when he hears Luca once more.

“Shu!” he shouts, his tone sounding soft like it’s been pressed through a smile on the way out. His footsteps are louder than his words. “Shu! Come back here!” Luca laughs like it’s such a great joke, but he doesn’t really understand. Was he supposed to stay?

Now, even though the opportunity’s returned, he feels much too embarrassed to say any of the things he had considered, so he just lets Luca pull him to his door. 

It seems like Luca’s had a sudden craving for some gaming since he practically drags Shu to the chair, asking him to pick one for tonight. 

He does, but he’s still a little confused. It won’t mean anything. Their progress will get erased in the morning, and training is hardly any fun. The skills are transferable, but the process of getting them is a chore, and he doesn’t really want to spend his infinite wealth of time learning how to spot the frame perfect input for some game he’ll never get to beat.

Still. Being with Luca is, on its own, fun. So even if he doesn’t understand it all, even if he doesn’t get everything his little heart desires out of it, it’s still worth every single second.

“Do you ever wonder what would happen if we fell asleep here? Together?”

Shu shrugs. “We’d probably just end up back in our beds in the morning.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

In the end, they don’t get to test that theory, but they still spend most of the night together anyway, only stopping around 11 so they can still get a few minutes of sleep. The transition backwards always feels smoother if they’re asleep as it happens. 

It’s nice. A whole day of whatever random thing piques their interest. A whole day with Luca, who makes it brighter just by living inside of it.

In the end, that’s all he wants. More days like today.

-

Shu takes it all back. He cannot keep doing this. 

Today was supposed to be prep, mostly, for tonight’s big dive, which meant they had to go out and buy some gear.

The first half of shopping was fun, throwing strangely patterned swimming paraphernalia into each other’s arms to see who would look more ridiculous after the first pass, but then they got serious. And when he came out, he tried not to stare at Luca’s legs. And ankles. And chest.

And as he stood inside that little wooden fitting room again, staring at the bricks of the wall, Shu imagined leaving his worries behind in there, somewhere permanent and far, far away. They won't come back here for another few rotations at least, so he won't need to see them for a good while longer. And it’s safe, his cheeks rimmed white from the fluorescent lights. They can't even put cameras here. No one would ever find them, not even Luca. 

“Shu? I’m done, so I’ll be out front if you need me.” 

Shu blinks, shaking his head as he opens the door.

Is this how it's going to be forever, the two of them and his latent desire to complicate things?

It's time for an intervention.

Once they’ve gotten out of the surf shop, Shu pulls Luca aside, asking if he can drop him off at the hotel. “I’m still a little worn out from the sun,” he says, grateful for the convenient excuse. Yesterday, they spent most of the day on a hike up a mountain, curious to see just how high they could get.

It’s a lie. Shu does not, in fact, need to go lie down before later tonight where they’ll pretend like they’re night divers, splashing around the quiet side of the beach.

He’s just got to get another opinion about the whole Luca situation. Which means he has to go find someone he trusts. Someone who isn’t involved. Which ultimately means he has to go back to the wedding, and he can’t let Luca know lest he overhears.

Elira’s his usual choice, but last time he needed her for something serious and delicate, she laughed at him before helping him out, waiting a good 10 seconds before grabbing his wrists and pulling him up. It’s not his fault he sneezed next to a wall! Or that he immediately clocked his head into it.

Anyway, while he can usually take it, joining in the laughter from the forefront, he’s not sure if he can bring himself to laugh about this right now. And he needs to know the brutal truth of the matter. He’ll have to save a second confession for later, for when he’s ready to move forwards.

And a third for later, maybe. Claude’s not really the right choice either, all things considered.

It takes him a little longer to find Uki than he’d like, but he does eventually find him, sitting near the edge of the unofficial dance floor.

“Shu?” he asks. “Where have you been all this time?”

It’s a simple question, but Shu has no simple answers. He rehearsed what hypotheticals he was going to use on the way over, but he forgot to account for how much truth he was going to include with it.

“I’m sorry,” Shu says, playing with the rim of his drink. Why did he think it was a good idea to grab one? It looked like a good idea for about five seconds, but now he’s here, faced with a drink he doesn’t think he can stomach tonight. “Things have been crazy. I have been crazy. I should’ve given you a heads up before bailing this morning.”

Between them, Shu’s actually the crazy one. Luca is crazy too, but his brand of crazy is a little lighter and softer. It’s innocent and child-like and filled with good intentions. It jives well with the calmer ‘I’ll watch you meet your end on your own’ sort of schtick he’s got going on.

“What?” Uki plucks the drink out of his hand with a grimace, setting it down on a nearby table. “No, not that. You look like shit. What happened?”

“Hypothetical boy troubles.”

“Hypothetical?”

“Yeah. Hypothetical.”

In the story he’s spun up, Luca becomes a new friend he met a month or two ago, one who he’s been seeing every day. They do things, new things, every time they see each other, and they make good friends. That part is easy to understand, and he feels confident about it. It’s just there are also these moments where the sky starts to sing for them, and he feels gripped by something that bubbles in his chest.

He’s midway through recounting one of their many, many adventures together– flying kites on a windless day goes about as well as you’d expect, it turns out– when he catches a flash of familiar features. Pressed collar. Suit that looks far too good to be legal. A flash of blonde hair, tips barely ringed with purple.

“Hide me.” Shu ducks behind Uki, grimacing when he sees his deadpan expression, but can’t afford to get distracted now. He tries his hardest to blend into his flowing sleeves. 

Uki sighs but doesn’t move, so his position remains partially obscured. “I see you’re not over your pathetic crush, then.”

“I do not have a–” Shu pauses, taking in his surroundings. He lowers his voice before continuing, getting closer to Uki’s ear. “I do not have a pathetic crush on Claude! Just, you know, a normal-sized, normal one. It’s all very normal. And under control!”

He’s got this superstition that if he says the words quieter, then maybe they’ll be a little less real. It’s hard enough to admit as is.

“ Right. And what about this other mystery boy of yours?”

“Of course not,” Shu mutters, electing to ignore the flush that’s settled on his face. “It’s totally different.”

“You’re allowed to be interested in multiple people at once, you know. You’re not beholden to him just because he came first.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

Shu stomps his foot a little, insistent. “I do!” 

He would know if he was interested in Luca, but he’s not! It doesn’t feel the same, and he’s not sure if he wants it to. Luca is Luca, and Claude is Claude.

“Look, Shu. Let’s imagine for a moment– no, stop. Look at me. Let’s imagine that you’re not here. Let’s say you’re at home, you’ve just got off work, and all you want to do is sink into the couch until you’re so hungry that your stomach feels like it’s eating itself. So you head over to the kitchen to boil the kettle when there’s a knock at the door. Who is it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have one of those peep hole thingies.”

“Well, who do you want it to be?”

Luca.

It’s surprising how fast that answer comes. It'd be Luca, his arms full with some… something, who knocks with his knees and elbows because his hands are so full, and the hunger would evaporate, replaced with a softer sort of feeling. And he’d let him in. Obviously.

Uki takes his silence as confirmation. “It’s mystery boy, isn't it?” A hand ruffles through Shu’s hair, tracing slow circles with its thumb. “You’re not going to love two people in exactly the same way every time. You and Claude? I’d be happy for you too, but it’s okay if it doesn't work out.”

“It won’t. We–” Shu thinks about that night on the beach. The fireworks that never happened. “I’m not sure if I’m ready yet.”

With Claude, he’s certain that they can get past it. They’ve gone through worse before. But Luca? He’s new in many ways. New and frightening and enchanting. And there’s a different kind of math involved, figuring out just how much he wants to tempt putting off his indefinite partner.

“Okay. Then you keep seeing him every day, but if the time comes when you want to do something about it, then do it.” Uki’s face breaks for a minute, quirking up into more of a smile. “And stop moping! If it bothers you so much, then just get over with it and kiss him.”

“Kiss him? I can’t do that!”

“Kiss?!” There’s a half-shriek, the voice pitched abruptly higher. It’s a voice that he hoped he’d avoid hearing out here. “You– um. Hi Shu.”

“Luca.”

Turning around to face him, he’s greeted by the sight of Luca, offering something akin to a smile. He’s flushed like he ran the whole way over. Anger, disappointment, they’re not a good look on him. His smile’s a little frayed at the edges, his face a little pinched, and his hands wring against each other like knots.

It’s just not right. He’s watched Luca in many situations. He may not always like it, but he’s got a way with people– even strangers. He’s charming. He knows how to play off people well, to make them feel comfortable.

“So. You two looked pretty close.”

Shu searches desperately for wherever Uki’s ran off to, but when he finally catches sight of him, he just offers a thumbs up before waving him off. Traitor.

“Yeah, well. That’s kinda what friends do. Hang out.”

The whole time they stand here, he grits his teeth and braces himself for the inevitable question. 

Why are you here? 

Why did you lie to me?

Or worse: I was only joking, so why do you want to kiss me? How could you ever think I wanted that?

Luca does not say any of that. In fact, the traces of anger and whatever else that were once in his face have vanished. It seems like angry Luca has deserted them. He has melted away as quickly as he appeared, a mere spectre in the night.

Instead, Luca holds out his hand, and Shu can practically hear the call of sirens in his ear. He is so earnest and kind and always gives him more chances than he truly deserves. “If you’re so desperate for some normal wedding action, then how about a dance?”

His body moves without him, dropping forwards into his arms, and he tries very hard to ignore how safe he feels, engulfed and eclipsed by his form.

This Luca, unfairly handsome in his neatly pressed suit, twirls him around the sand just once before Shu manages to push him away. His feet feel like glaciers, ice tracing grooves into the sand. He’s still not ready. This was supposed to make things better, but it’s only made them worse. He’s somehow stumbled into all the confirmation that he never really wanted to get. Again.

“I’m sorry,” Shu says, keeping his eyes on the rocks. “I shouldn’t have lied. But I needed to– I needed some space.” He chews on his lip a little, debating how far to go. Further, probably, to be 100% clear. “I still do. So please. Just for a little while. I want you to leave me alone.”

Physical attraction, sure, he can handle that. It’s something he can ignore. But this has spun wildly into something he doesn’t know how to handle.

Shu stomps off somewhere a little further away, somewhere where he won’t have to hear the croon of love songs spilling through his ears. 

Luca does not follow. And Shu? Shu doesn’t even know what he wants. Not really. Despite all that talking, he still doesn’t know.

Maybe it’s insecurity. Maybe it’s fear. Sadly, his first instinct, whenever he comes across a real, genuine problem that’s too big to tackle, is always to distance himself. To run away. So that is what he does.

Standing here by the sea, his skin prickling with every pass of the breeze, Shu ached abruptly with a longing to go home. Not to the hotel, nor to the worn-out seats of Luca’s rental, but his real home. His home as he left it, thinking his biggest problem would be watching Claude flit around looking for whoever it was he wanted to bring as a date while hoping it would eventually circle around to being him. He wishes he was somewhere else. Somewhere safe across the sea, stretched out somewhere no one could see and hear him until he’s completely sure of himself.

That sort of dream is unrealistic, however, so instead he goes to his room, thinking far too much about how Luca stared at him, mouth agape, wearing the face of a friend, and how much he wanted to do other things to that stupid, perfect face of his.

And besides, what if doing something about it does end the loop? What will they do then, propelled back to reality where it isn’t a given that they’ll always be together?

-

Okay, so maybe he liked Luka a little. Now that he’s alone, he can thumb through his vast collection of thoughts and admit that.

Or a lot, but who’s counting?

-

He’ll admit it. He likes Luca, and he sort of wants to do something about it. Multiple things, starting with this.

After last night’s mortifying realisations, Shu’s first course of action was to find somewhere to hide.

How was he supposed to know that he liked Luca as much as he did?

Growing up, Claude was always there with him. It was only natural that he grew attached to him. He knows so deeply how he is, and they have matching scars etched somewhere on their souls. They’ve lived through the same beautiful and terrible things, and that’s part of why he loves him. It is precisely because he’s known him through his worst that Shu can trust him at his best and all the ugly, pupal stages in between.

Luca doesn’t have any of that. Luca is peace. He is like an extension of his own body. He is somewhere in the air he breathes. It’s not a very complex thing. Luca is just… Luca, and he likes being there to see it.

It’s like comparing a summer swell– tiny waves that come back again and again and again– to a tidal wave. They’re not caused by wind or rain or the inescapable pull of the moon. They’re natural but distant. Indirect.

In the end, he ended up hiding in the towel closet during the reception. His room was just too obvious. That’s the first place anyone would come looking! 

Or at least, that’s what he believed, but it’s only been a day of alternating between the conference area, the spa, and the buildings next door, drawing on his knowledge of where everyone was during the wedding, and Luca’s already found him. His steps are too obvious. There’s this little shuffling sound he makes when he walks, not lifting his feet fully off the ground, and then, when he notices, he usually overcompensates, each step making a steady ta-dak ta-dak against the polished floor.

He should have just stayed in the kitchen, opening the freezer to feel the cold flood into his lungs. It would have been more productive.

It’s ridiculous. How much has he already revealed about himself if Luca can find him so easily? How much can he know? And if he knows it all, then how can he even stomach coming around again?

Shu presses himself harder into the corner, squinting as if hiding his face will somehow hide his body too.

“I thought I said I needed space,” he says, quietly praying Luca will take pity on him and leave. He hopes it doesn't sound as sour as it feels coming out. 

He’s not upset with Luca. It’s just a lot to deal with.

“It’s been 24 hours,” Luca replies, oblivious to how much his mere presence affects him. “Isn’t that enough space?” 

He can already feel the warmth flowing into his cheeks, but Shu still turns slightly towards him, feeling a little bolder. In Luca’s hands are a smattering of flowers, still covered in dirt, that he hopes didn't come from the display out front. They look a bit like what he imagines patchouli would smell like. Not great, but they’re memorable. 

It’s a funny sort of peace offering, but he accepts it with both hands, resolving himself to be strong.

Secretly, he’s happy. He wanted to see him sooner. He imagined it, in fact, but it’s still different, actually being here with him.

“No,” Shu replies, but he sighs, feeling no less certain than he did last night. “I don’t think there’s enough space in the whole universe. Everywhere I go, I keep seeing you. I keep… thinking about these things.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

Shu strains his neck as he looks back at him, fully aware that if he asked, Luca would leave right this moment. He might even leave forever, knowing exactly how to avoid him through every single loop, and Shu really doesn’t want that to happen.

“No,” he softly admits, wrapping his arms around his chest. “It’s not bad. Just different. I’m so familiar with everything and I like my familiar life, but then there’s you, and you fit so well inside that it almost scares me.”

“Well, I like you a lot in my life too,” Luca says, and there’s no trace of teasing left in his words. It’s nothing but sweetness and the soft curl of sea foam, and Shu’s throat goes dry. “I want to see the leaves change colour with you. I want to watch the fireflies come out. I want to see the snow and the storms and the next coming of spring, and I want you to be there with me. And– and it’s okay if you don’t want to. I just wanted to say something. Hearing you talk about kissing someone– thinking about it? Right when you wanted to end things? I thought I was going to go crazy.”

“I wasn’t going to kiss anyone. And I wasn’t trying to end things. I just had to get away for a bit.”

“Still. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I like you. I like doing things with you. And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. We’ll still go night diving or whatever it is you want to do.” Luca’s voice warms him up from the inside. “I still remember which jammers you liked, so we can go buy them whenever you want.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Of what? Sharks? They’re harmless. And we won’t go too far out anyway.”

Shu snuffles a little, his chest heaving with a laugh. “No, silly. I mean– what if this is it?”

“It won’t be. When May 2nd rolls around, we’ll have so much more to explore. But for now, I like doing this too.”

Luca is beautiful and confident and the best thing he’s found through all of this chaos.

“I’m sorry,” Shu murmurs, placing a hand on his cheek. “For lying. For running away. I just needed to be sure. It’s how I work best.”

Luca’s hand cups his, holding it in place. “You don’t think I already know that?” The stars multiply inside his eyes. “It’s one of the things I like about you. Your dedication. Your curiosity.”

If the universe wanted some sort of giant resolution, then he’s almost certain this counts, running up to Luca so he can surge up and slot their mouths together, and it’s like finding the missing piece of the puzzle. It turns out it was there the whole time, if only he was brave enough to get up and grab onto it.

This is it. Love.

He’s found his oasis.

-

In the end, it turns out he was scared for nothing.

He’s not the only one though. Past Luca was wrong too, and Shu takes great joy in reminding him of it. Though it seems like such a monumental, alter-the-balance-of-fate sort of deal to him, it seems the universe is not in agreement, because when he opens his eyes on the day after they kiss, nothing has changed.

He supposes he shouldn’t really be surprised, but he’s been nursing that suspicion for a while, and it turned out to be all for naught.

Every time they think they’ve stumbled upon the one thing that will get them out, it turns out to be another fluke, so he really shouldn’t have been shocked when he woke up in the morning, seeing the same sights he’s grown familiar with.

Maybe the whole notion of escape is merely a chimerical dream.

Still, it’s not like it was entirely useless. So what if a little kiss didn’t solve anything? That won’t stop them from doing it again.

So they kiss. And they walk. They spend many hours together, mostly unstructured. Shu still makes plans with the others, switching it up every once in a while, but with Luca, there’s a frisson of casual impulsiveness that wins out. And they giggle like schoolchildren as one of them invariably asks, “do you want to go on a date today?”

You’d think by now they’ve exhausted every possible activity that can be confined to one day, but they each take on a slightly new lens through the lens of intentionality.

Under the sun or moon, Luca usually walks a step or two ahead of him, turning around every once in a while whenever he gets the urge to punctuate his words by looking straight at him. He makes long, easy strides, hands shoved in his pockets. 

Now, though, sometimes Luca grabs his hand and holds it instead. And it isn’t a new thing per se, seeing as they’ve used each other as anchors many times before while wandering through crowds or climbing up boulders, but there’s a little burst of adrenaline that comes with knowing that when Shu reaches out, Luca will grab his hand with a grin, and they will both be on the same page. He will not need to justify to himself why he wants to brush away the lint that’s always pilling on Luca’s clothes, nor will he need to hesitate before plopping into his lap and slumping over the table, exhausted.

He could just get him a razor, but that would ruin the point, wouldn’t it?

It all goes perfectly smoothly, actually, only hitting a snag when Shu abruptly realises that nothing they’re doing now is particularly different from what they’ve been doing the whole time. It’s just now it has a label and a goal. Dates. Dating. Exploration. Compatibility.

Sometimes, when he looks at him, the air is sucked out of the room. He cannot breathe. He can only stand and look at him the way astronomers must stare at radio waves, trying to understand the world around them through an entirely new medium. 

Just when he’s caught up in the thought, willing his breath to return to him, the air has other plans, kicking up a burst of wind that sends his scarf tumbling into the sky.

“What? Luca, no, stop!” His hand reaches out for Luca’s jacket sleeve, but it’s already too late. He’s already partially hopped into the fountain, one leg directly in the water.

“I got it!” he reports with a grin, holding up the soggy scarf like it's a crown. 

It reminds Shu of when he was still in high school; there was one day when Elira dropped her papers into the drinking fountain, claiming they were caught in a storm. It was a poorly calculated move though. He had to stay with her after, helping her copy his so she wasn't out of luck for the rest of the week.

Shu held out his hand, ignoring the inquisitive glances of the other passersby. “Thank you. Now let's get you somewhere warm and dry.”

“Okay!”

The nearest buildings were a bank, a library, and an overpriced fanciful sort of bakery, all awnings and lace trim. But still, a warm building is better than nothing, so that is where he takes them, grabbing hold of Luca’s fingers before ushering him inside.

Shu brushed the water off his hands, keeping his eyes up towards the counter. “But why’d you jump in?” His voice was soft, almost tentative. “It’ll all reset tomorrow anyway. It would have been fine.”

“Yeah, maybe, but it’s important to you. And I decided I'm not going to do anything that will leave me with regrets.”

“Have you always been like that?”

It’s a cute picture to imagine, a tiny Luca who runs single-mindedly trying to make the most of the day. He’d probably make ladders and try to climb up to the moon or jump into his bed, thinking he can fall asleep and not wake up until his birthday because he’s tired of waiting.

“No, not really.” Luca’s face takes on a wistful sort of tone, distant and cloud-covered. “Actually, we’ve met once before. Back in school.”

“We did?”

“Sorta. I think it was math or chem or something. I always meant to reach out, but it didn't really work out.”

“Oh.”

“Nah, it's no big deal. It’s not like it's been a lifelong regret or anything. But, you know, once you start being a leader, there’s no room for regrets. I just try my best.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“Isn't it? But still, I'm glad we got to meet again.”

“Me too.”

“And I guess when you started talking about regrets back then, I thought maybe that’s why we were here. I was so shocked when I saw you, thinking this was my chance! Even the universe wants us to succeed!” Luca’s cheeks turned a little bit pinker as he said it, a little embarrassed at his own self-assurance. “Guess it wasn’t that simple.”

Shu laughs, resting a hand on his knee. “It’s okay. We’ll make it out some day.”

After Shu deems Luca sufficiently dry, he takes them back past the shoals, walking all the way down to a dense patch of trees. There is solace to be found there, surrounded by warmth and nature. Thorns bristle against his shoes, but still he continues, waiting until they reach the clearing in the center.

As the earth itself circles around them, Shu pulls Luca down, pressing a kiss on each of his cheeks, full of lightness of laughter.

He imagines they will never run out of things to do. Each day, after all, brings some new shred of joy to the surface.

-

Together with Luca, Shu has run up and down the whole town and then some. There was that one day, for instance, where they bought winter clothes and spent the day in an ice rink, pretending like it was suddenly December. 

It is Luca who suggests it in the end, going back to the wedding to spend the whole evening there like they’re just another one of the happy couples. It would be a fun way to spend the night. He gets really into it too, purchasing them a pair of matching pocket squares in slightly different colourways. 

It’s not like they’ve been avoiding the wedding entirely, but he supposes they haven’t sat through it all beyond the ceremony in a while, so Shu heartily agrees, asking Luca to bend down so he can fold his up for him. Luca jumps at first, going higher and higher when Shu tells him to stop, but he eventually does, leaning down to flick his nose.

“We’re going to be late,” Shu whines, fussing with it for longer than strictly necessary. Luca keeps moving his head down, bonking against Shu’s whenever he tries to get a good look. It’s very distracting.

And then, because Shu did his, Luca insists on doing his, so they spend much longer getting ready than he expected. They barely slip into their seats before the ceremony starts, and Shu squeezes his hand when Alban comes out, practically glowing with happiness.

It is so beautiful that it chokes him. 

And he’s happy, but he wants this so deeply that his heart capsizes.

He wants a future. He wants so many things.

At the reception, they cheer heartily to each toast. They make comments about the same food he’s tried so many times, debating whether or not to chance getting a drink. And whenever he asks Luca to bend the rules for him, he does it, no questions asked. 

Shu’s fingertips dig deeper into his sides. It is so different, running through it all with someone by his side.

Photos, speeches, it has all taken on an even more brilliant light than before, for the wedding is no longer a mere distraction for Shu, an undertaking that can get his mind off the romantic predicament he kept himself in, but instead a pure celebration and nothing more.

They get through about three song’s worth of dances– spread throughout five different numbers– before a tap on the back breaks his concentration. It’s Claude, clad in the same suit he remembers so fondly. 

Shu turns to Luca, apologetic. “Would you give us a minute? I’ll come find you after.”

Should he be casual? Polite? Evasive? He can’t exactly hold his botched confession (and his poor reaction) against him now, seeing as he won’t have the faintest clue what he’s talking about.

It’s Claude who decides for him in the end. “So, you and Luca, huh? When did that happen?”

“It’s a recent development.” Shu blushes a little at the memory of it. All the things they’ve done since that first kiss. “I didn’t realise you knew each other.”

Claude shrugs. “You know how it is. Sometimes he needs some healing off the books, so I do what I can.”

“Oh. Cool.” Shu looks down at his feet. It’s still a little more awkward than he’d like. “I should get back to him, so, um. Unless there’s something else?”

Claude steps a bit closer, holding out his hand, and Shu takes it, spinning out for a dance. The motion makes things a little easier. It gives him something to focus on.

“When you disappeared, I thought you were avoiding me. Or that I was feeling guilty and my subconscious blocked you out.”

Shu laughs, a little strained. “I’ve been here all afternoon. Maybe we just missed each other.”

“No, I mean before.”

“Before?” 

“You know. Just about every instance of the day after you confessed to me.”

Oh. 

The admission shocks him so much that he nearly bounces right into another table. Claude… remembers? He’s stuck here too?

“So you…”

“Remember that? Yeah. That’s kinda why I wanted to talk. I haven’t seen you much since then.”

“I’ve been around,” Shu says, his voice pitched increasingly higher. It is true though. He has been avoiding him. “I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk about it.”

“Are you ready now?”

“I guess.”

It takes much longer than he expected, running through the way things have panned out for him. He starts at the wedding– the first run, the perfect run, the one that got messed up. It turned out Claude shared a similar idea to him, curious about what changes he could make and what he could do, before eventually giving up. 

“I wasn’t sure until that time,” Claude says, touching on the confession. “You were so different after that, never in the same place twice. And then you just stopped coming entirely. I thought I messed up.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t you at all. I just needed to get away for a while.”

“With Luca?”

Shu laughs. “No, I didn’t like him at all in the beginning. But he had a car, and I guess we found a way through it.”

“You should really learn how to drive.”

“I know how to drive! I have my licence and everything!”

When Claude laughed, asking if he remembered that first drive they took, he felt the ice begin to break. That was a fun old time, just him, Uki, Elira, and Claude all squished together in his mom’s ancient pea green car. Claude almost hit a snow bank, trying his best to swerve away from a squirrel.

He forgot how easy it was to share things with him, so caught up in his various anxieties. With the first confession came more. The fact that he was a little afraid of his reaction. The reason why he busied himself so much. The truth of why he was insistent about Claude’s progress with his mysterious plus one.

“Are you kidding me? I really, really wanted to know. I really–” Shu stops for a moment, lost in thought. Claude puts a hand on his shoulder as a means of comfort, and he lets it stay there. “I would have given anything to know,” he says, finishing with a smile. “I knew it wouldn’t be me, but I couldn’t help it.”

He’s struck abruptly by the truth of that statement. He was so desperate to know, no matter how much it hurt him. But he was also too afraid of being hurt to make sure it happened any other, easier way. Instead, he felt like had to see it to be properly confronted by his grand sense of inadequacy.

Brutal.

“I know. I kinda got sick of you asking.”

Shu grimaces, recalling just how insistent he was. How many times did he ask? “My bad. I should have known when to back down.”

“Eh, it’s not like it’s your fault. I could have said something too.”

Shu thinks back to Luca and the happiness he’s found. The nerves. The certainty that follows, the feeling of knowing. The undeniable warmth.

“I still think you should ask them or find them or whatever it is you want to do. I mean it. I want you to be happy.” Shu swallows, looking out at the sea. “Sometimes you find it when you least expect it.”

“Okay,” Claude eventually says, looking somewhere beyond his shoulder. “I’ll go find them. I’ll– I’ll try my best.”

“So we’re good? I’m sorry. I sorta made you do all the hard stuff because I didn’t want to put myself out there.”

“Hey, hey, no. We both could have done things, Shu, but it’s going to be fine.” Claude clapped a hand on his shoulder before shaking his head, going in for a hug instead. “Now go get back to your partner! I can’t exactly find mine with you hanging off me like a leech.”

As he hears those words, Shu feels some tension in his chest start to fall away. Maybe he didn’t ruin everything after all. He knew it all along, even back then. Claude would never hold his feelings against him. He’s not that kind of person. It’s just that he didn’t really want to deal with the aftermath, and it was safer and easier to put himself into a situation where he’d get his answers without asking him anything. 

That’s what he really wanted. Something definitive to fall back on. Knowledge that everything would still be okay– even if Claude didn’t feel the same way.

It makes too much sense altogether. If Claude, too, was part of the loop, then he was a part of it. Shu grew too complacent, living out the days with Luca and imagining that he had nothing to do with it. Of course he had something to do with it. Why else would it keep them here?

That was the one thing he wanted more than anything else. He just wanted to know and to see who else captured his attention so strongly when Claude was too shy to admit it, and those desires somehow twisted into this ginormous mess. Just like the fire alarm. 

His sorcery never fails to complicate his life whenever it acts on his own.

Shu smiles as he watches Claude approach one of the tables. He sends a big thumbs up his way before looking around himself, wondering where Luca ran off to. Near Alban, maybe? They grabbed lunch together a week or two ago, and he always seems happy to see him.

Honestly, seeing Claude has given him closure. It was nowhere near as hard as he expected. This part though? Now the difficulty is really set to begin.

How is he supposed to explain to his sort-of-boyfriend that he probably accidentally trapped them into a time loop because of his inability to confess to his best friend? 

Shu starts simple, tapping Luca’s shoulder once before pointing somewhere a little more private where they can talk. 

The waves drench the sand over and over, water seeping out with each step. The stars blur above them, covered in some sort of distant haze. 

Or maybe it’s his vision that’s hazy.

It’s hard to tell.

“Luca,” he says, chewing a bit on his lip. Luca’s thumb brushes against his cheek, so he stops, continuing with a sigh. “I think the loop is going to end tonight.”

His sleepy eyes shoot open. “Did something happen? Was it something in the wedding after all?”

“Kinda. It’s complicated.” 

Shu gets into it, starting with his conversation with Claude. The reason he needed to talk to Uki. The fact that it was his fault after all, most likely. The truth of his feelings– how they were real, but so are the ones he feels for Luca now. 

It’s all much messier than he’d like. 

With each word that falls out of his mouth, Shu tightens up a little, preparing himself for the worst. When Luca stares at him, wordlessly shuffling closer and closer into his space, he’s not sure what to do. It’s very cute and charming, the way he wiggles a little since he doesn’t quite take any steps, but now’s not the time to get distracted.

Instead of looking at him, he looks out at the horizon and its relative infinity.

“So you think this all started because you were so desperate to find out who he wanted to go out with?”

“Yeah.”

“And you confessed to him once? Before we started talking more?”

“I, erm. Yeah. That’s right.”

Luca stares directly into his soul, his face now so close to his. “And you still want to be with me?” he asks, words barely above a whisper. “Even without happenstance keeping us here?”

“Of course I do.”

Luca grins, rubbing their noses together. “Well, then I’m glad we came to the wedding. Alban would have killed me if I didn’t show up.”

Shu recoils, jumping a step back, but he’s caught by Luca’s arms before he can stumble. “You’re not upset?”

“About what? You liking someone else? Claude’s a good guy. I get it.”

“I trapped us here for months. I wasted so much of your time!”

“Time spent with you is never a waste.” Luca sways a little with him in his arms, back and forth like it’s their own little dance. “Besides, for all we know, it was my fault too. You wanted closure. You wanted to see Claude happy. I wanted to see you again. Now we’re all getting what we wanted.”

It all sounds so simple and easy when he says it.

As they fall into bed, Shu makes his voice louder and lighter on purpose. “I hope I see you tomorrow,” he says, curling up in his sheets, and he laughs as Luca drops on top of him, practically smothering him with his weight.

-

The blankets are too hot when he’s pushed into consciousness, the space a little tight. 

Shu bolts up when he realises, staring down at Luca who’s still here with him. Luca, who’s still here with him when they’ve never woken up together to matter how they end up falling asleep.

Through the window, the sun has already begun its journey across the sky, rendering the clouds a soft peachy sort of hue, and the rosy glow settles somewhere deep in his chest. It feels like freedom and love and everything he’s ever wanted, all wrapped up in one.

Shu settles back down, brushing a thumb against the back of Luca’s hand. He’ll let him rest for now. After all, they have so much time.

This is it. 

The first day of the rest of their lives.