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The cut in Barok’s hand stung as he tried to write with his quill, but he did his best to ignore the pain. It had been three days since the fight that caused that injury took place, and he couldn’t allow himself to ignore his work for longer.
Kazuma would be angry if he knew, of course. He had insisted that he could take care of the office while Barok recovered, but Barok couldn’t simply watch while Kazuma did everything for him. Regardless of their intimacy in their private lives, Kazuma was still his apprentice, and Barok wanted to be a good mentor to him in every way he could.
Still, things weren’t going as smoothly as he hoped. If it was only the pain, Barok could ignore it, but the bandages limited his movements, making every task feel like a slight, but endless torment. It was uncomfortable, and made everything take more time and effort than usual, but it wasn't anything he hadn't done before—and it was still better than trying to use his opposite hand.
His work was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on his door. The sound startled him, but there was only one person other than himself who owned the keys to that house. And that was around the time said person would be leaving their office after a day of work.
“Barok,” said Kazuma. “I’m coming in.”
Barok froze for a moment, unsure if he should try to hide what he was doing or act naturally. During the seconds he took to decide it, Kazuma opened the door, looking in his direction. He didn’t look angry, but let out a slightly exasperated sigh.
“I had a feeling you were doing this.”
Barok tried to think of a good explanation for his actions. “I felt better today.”
That was clearly the wrong thing to say, since it made Kazuma look at him with a creased brow.
“Iris said one week of rest, didn’t she?” he said. “How many days has it been?”
“Three. But—”
“Which means you still have four days to rest, my dear lord,” Kazuma continued. “And, after that, a month of nothing but light activities so it can heal properly. Isn’t that right?”
Barok lowered his eyes, suddenly feeling like a child being gently reprimanded by his older brother. “I simply could not ignore my duties, and leave it all in your hands.”
Kazuma moved closer to him, taking the quill from his hand. “Don’t you trust me to do a proper job in your absence?”
“I do,” he answered honestly. “However, you are still my apprentice, and should not be watching over my office for me while I stay home doing nothing with my time.”
Kazuma observed him for a while. Then, he placed his arms around Barok’s neck, hugging him from behind his chair.
“You know what's the worst thing about you?” said Kazuma.
He could make an entire list in his mind. “What is it?”
“You refuse to ask for help, even if I'm right here.”
Barok didn’t answer immediately. That wasn’t the first time Kazuma mentioned that flaw, and often Barok tried to listen to him. However, he had become too used to having no one he could trust by his side, and needing to do everything on his own. Even at that moment, that was something he did without realizing it.
“My apologies,” he said.
“If you really are sorry, then stop doing it.”
“I shall try.”
Kazuma didn’t seem pleased by the response, but didn’t insist on the subject. Instead, he lowered his gaze to Barok’s bandaged hand. He let go of Barok’s neck and moved to his side, reaching for Barok’s hand, lightly touching it with the tips of his fingers. “Now, be honest with me… How is your injury?”
“Not as painful as before.”
“But still painful, right?” Kazuma carefully held Barok’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips to give it a light kiss. “You should take better care of it.”
“It is not as bad as you seem to believe,” said Barok. “I’ve been through worse in the past.”
Once again, Kazuma’s disapproving expression let him know he had chosen the wrong words.
“Just because you’ve been through worse, it doesn’t mean that—“ Kazuma’s words were interrupted by a low grunt. “You must stop using that as an excuse. Barok, you need to rest, and your hand won’t heal properly until you do.”
Did Barok say those words that often? He hadn’t noticed it, but judging by Kazuma’s expression, it wasn’t the first time he said something like that.
“I understand.”
“Do you really?” Kazuma insisted. “Or are you just saying what I want to hear?”
“I do.” Barok touched Kazuma’s cheek with his good hand, caressing it. “Forgive me for all the trouble my stubbornness causes you.”
Kazuma briefly closed his eyes under that touch, his expression softening. “Fine… If you say so, I’ll trust you not to do it again.”
“I promise to try. It is an old habit, though, and might not leave me so easily.”
“As long as you try.” Kazuma leaned forward, placing a kiss on the scar on his forehead. “Just remember that I’ll keep an eye on you.”
His words amused Barok. “Was that supposed to be a threat?”
“Of course.” He smiled playfully. “You may be stubborn, but I can be worse.”
“Oh, I know.”
Barok placed a hand on Kazuma’s waist, then leaned forward, resting his head against his torso. Kazuma held him close, caressing his hair for a minute. That sweetness in their relationship had grown with time: at first, neither of them was confident enough to show or receive affection so openly, but as they learned to bare their souls to each other, that kind of proximity came naturally as a result. And, the more Barok had of it, the more he caught himself craving for those moments of intimacy, as brief and simple as they could be.
For someone who had long given up on finding happiness, such a thing was a blessing like no other. For that reason, the possibility of ever losing something so precious—be it the result of a tragedy, his failings as a man, or life sending them on different paths—also terrified him.
He spent more time worrying about such things than he would ever admit. However, at that moment, Kazuma’s embrace was enough to keep those thoughts at bay.
“I would be lost without you,” was all he managed to say.
“I better stay close to you, then.”
Those words brought a bittersweet feeling to his chest. Is this really what you want? Are you sure you’re happy with me? Don’t you deserve someone better? Those thoughts weren’t as persistent as they had once been, but they still filled his mind from time to time, fed by his insecurities. He had the urge to voice them, but stopped himself.
“Please, do,” he said, instead. “For as long as there is love for me in your heart, please, stay by my side.”
Kazuma moved slightly away, looking at him with a pleased smile on his face. It seemed that, for the first time that evening, he had chosen the right words.
“I might stay for a long time, then,” said Kazuma.
“As long as you want to.”
Kazuma seemed happy to hear that. He leaned forward, giving his lips a light kiss. “You should be going to bed soon. Did you have dinner yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Me neither. I’ll prepare something for us.”
Barok agreed. Usually, he would offer his help, but that day Kazuma told him to leave everything in his hands. He had noticed it before, but Kazuma was especially attentive whenever he was sick or injured, making sure Barok made no effort beyond the necessary.
And it didn’t stop there. After eating, Kazuma helped Barok change his clothes, and then took a closer look at his wound, cleaning and wrapping it with new bandages. Once he was done, they lay together on the bed, Kazuma behind Barok, hugging his waist. He placed a light kiss on his back, then buried his face in it. Barok smiled at the feeling.
“You spoil me,” he said.
Kazuma laughed against his back. “You say it as if you don’t do the same.”
Barok couldn’t deny it. He was aware of his overprotective side, and tried to control it as much as he could. Seeing things from that angle, they weren’t that different, even if they expressed their excessive care in different ways. Sometimes, however, his concern earned him a smile from Kazuma—perhaps he too was still getting used to the feeling of being cared for.
“I simply want what is best for you,” said Barok. “There is nothing in the world that I desire more than this.”
Another low, pleased laugh. “I know.” Kazuma sighed, relaxing against his back. “Me too.”
Hearing that was enough to melt his heart. It would probably take him a while to get used to the feeling of being so cared for, but the process itself was an enjoyable thing—especially when it ended with that sweet closeness they shared.