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Ryuji was spending that weekend at Goro’s place, as he so often did since they started going out two years before—not long after the Phantom Thieves’ final mission together. That day, they were playing a game together in the living room, which reminded Ryuji of his own lack of skill.
“Ah, shit… I’m dying.”
“You still have a heart,” said Goro.
“For now…” Ryuji tensed up when a bunch of enemies came from nowhere, charging against him. “Shit, fuck! Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck…”
“You know…” There was a hint of playfulness in Goro’s voice. “You should swear like this when we’re in bed tonight.”
Ryuji stared at him. Did that little shit really say what he thought he—
His control vibrated, warning Ryuji that his last heart was gone. He glanced at his defeated character on the floor, then turned his eyes to Goro.
“You killed me.”
His frustrated response made Goro cackle—which resulted in his character taking three consecutive hits from an enemy.
“Fuck, I’m dead too.”
“You deserved it.” Ryuji sighed, then stood up from the couch. “Okay, I need a break. Want something?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Ryuji went to the kitchen, staring at the contents of the fridge for a moment, then taking what he needed to prepare a quick sandwich. After finishing it in three bites, he filled their water bottle, offering it to Goro as soon as he returned—he had to make sure that guy was drinking and eating properly, or he would “forget” to do those basic things.
Goro took a sip from the bottle, then handed it to Ryuji with a slight smile. “If things continue like this, I might become unable to live without you.”
That comment made Ryuji scowl. “You’re joking, right?”
“I wish I was. Depending so much on someone scares me as much as it does you.”
Ryuji turned his gaze away. “It doesn’t scare me. But it makes me worry.”
“That you won’t be able to get rid of me?”
Ryuji shook his head. “That you won’t be fine on your own if I ain’t around.”
Goro lowered his gaze, his expression stiffened for a moment before he looked at Ryuji again. “Then, you should just stay with me all the time.” He half-grinned. “Live together, sleep together, have showers together… Every day, all the time…”
“Now you’re scaring me.”
Goro laughed. “The first part is true, though. I never had someone I could rely on, and now I’m getting too used to it.”
Ryuji sighed, then took a step closer to him, holding Goro’s head against his stomach, playing with his hair. “There ain’t nothing wrong in relying on me. Actually, I want you to.”
“You really like trouble, don’t you?”
“The Goro Akechi kind of trouble?” Ryuji smiled to himself. “Yeah, I do.”
Goro inhaled deeply, slowly letting out his breath, melting into Ryuji’s arms.
“I really don’t think I can live without you,” he murmured.
“’Course you can,” said Ryuji. “You’re a really strong guy.”
“I’m not strong. Not at all…”
Something about his voice bothered Ryuji. He placed his hands on Goro’s shoulders, moving him slightly away to look at his face.
“I’m saying you are,” Ryuji insisted. “You’re always wrong when you talk about yourself, so you should listen to me.”
Goro chuckled at his words. “Should I talk about you, instead?”
“Here it comes…”
Ryuji braced himself for the inevitable teasing. Instead, when Goro spoke, his voice was low and soft.
“You make me feel like I have a home.”
Ryuji blinked: those words were far from what he expected. “Wait… You actually said something sweet?”
Goro smiled, pleased. “Surprised?”
“Yeah… I was expecting something mean.”
“I wanted to catch you off-guard.”
“Well… You did.”
Yet, despite the sweetness of the moment, Ryuji couldn’t relax. There was something there… He couldn’t tell yet what, but could feel it. The confirmation came soon after, when Goro rested his head on Ryuji’s stomach again, speaking in that low voice.
“You’re the only thing that feels right in my life.”
His words made Ryuji’s heart sting. “Goro…”
“I know you hate it when I say this, but… it’s true.” His voice trembled slightly. “I haven’t felt this scared of losing something in a long time…”
Ryuji brought a hand to his head, caressing his hair in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m telling you, I ain’t leaving.”
“I know, but…” Goro clicked his tongue, frustrated. “Forget it, I’m just thinking too much.”
There was no way Ryuji could simply forget it. He stepped away from Goro, to sit down by his side on the couch. He then raised his hand, gently cupping his face.
“Hey…” he said. “I’m right here.”
Goro closed his eyes, leaning into that touch. “I know.”
“Then, tell me what’s wrong.”
Goro stayed silent for a while, seeming hesitant. Ryuji waited until he finally opened his mouth.
“Earlier today,” he said, “I was watching a video and there was this song in it. It’s from an old movie… One she really liked.” He lowered his eyes. “We watched it together a few times, I can still remember the lyrics.”
She… His mother, of course. No matter how much time passed, the hole left by her absence would probably never fade.
“It’s a nice song,” Goro continued, “and I was happy to hear it again. But then I was here with you, and I realized how happy I am… And suddenly I kept thinking about how she was with me one day, and then she was gone…” He shut his eyes, a small sob leaving his lips. “I don’t want to go through this again.”
Ryuji placed his arms around Goro, pulling him into a careful hug. He wished he could do something to take his pain away. However, he knew love didn’t heal everything—and that was something no one could make less painful. So, the only thing he could do was stay there, with him, until things got at least a little better.
“It’s okay…” he whispered. “It’s okay…”
Goro sobbed, holding tightly onto him. “I didn’t want you to worry about this. I just wanted us to have a nice day together.”
“We are having a nice day together, though,” said Ryuji, caressing his hair. “Sometimes, the bad memories just come, and we can’t stop them. But I’m glad you told me this time.”
Goro didn’t respond for a long while, crying on Ryuji’s shoulder while Ryuji tried to comfort him. Minutes passed before he finally started to calm down, his sobs becoming lower and less frequent. Ryuji asked him to wait a moment, then rushed to the bathroom, coming back with a roll of toilet paper, which Goro accepted, drying his eyes and nose.
“See?” Goro said with a weak laugh. “This is why I can’t live without you.” He looked at Ryuji. “I don’t want this to ever end.”
“Me neither.”
Saying that, Ryuji leaned forward, pushing Goro’s hair back to kiss his forehead. The gesture earned him a tiny smile.
“You know I really love you, don’t you?” asked Goro.
“Yeah.” Ryuji returned the smile. “I love you too.”
Goro took another minute to take a few deep breaths and fully calm down. Then, he let out a sigh.
“Crying is so tiring…” he muttered.
“Yeah.” Ryuji brushed his finger against Goro’s cheek, drying a tear he had missed. “But it’s good for you.”
“True.” Goro’s smile was a bit brighter this time. “So… Want to go back to the game?”
“Sure.” Ryuji shrugged lightly. “Just don’t kill me again.”
“Fine… Unless it’s really funny.”
“Little shit…”
Despite his words, Ryuji pulled him close, kissing his face before grabbing the controls, giving one to Goro. Goro leaned against his arm, resting his head on Ryuji’s shoulder. It made playing a little more difficult, but he wasn’t about to complain.
All he wanted was for Goro to be fine. It didn’t matter if he needed to let his feelings out of his chest, a shoulder to cry on, or just something silly to distract himself—Ryuji would be there no matter what, and do everything he could to make him smile again.