Work Text:
The memories begin hard and sharp, like crystals poking into Gem’s brain.
It takes the full extent of her worldwalker powers to find the Watchers’ domain, but Gem is practiced and ready. She appears to them without warning and points the tip of her diamond sword at each of them one by one. “I know what you are. I know what you’ve done. I want to go in.” They’re hesitant at first, claiming her presence will offset the delicate balance of emotions they’ve worked so hard to cultivate, but she knows damn well that they’re down a player and don’t know what to do about it. When they leave the conversation with a piercing glare, Gem knows she’s won. She will awaken within their game when morning comes.
Gem has been in these games before. She went in to find Pearl, to protect her. The amnesiacold excuse was a lie. Gem’s heart aches as she processes the new knowledge, but the ugly feeling stabbing at her head begins to fade. She was right. She was right. Their words were a lie.
When Pearl returned home to Hermitcraft, Gem was already there beside her with blankets and hot cocoa. She ran her fingers through Pearl’s hair and murmured soft reassurances until her friend felt safe again. It was that moment, that sight, that caused Gem to make up her mind. She would follow Pearl into the next game, no matter the dangers it might bring.
The memory is a bittersweet weight in her mind. As it appears to her, she remembers gazing into Pearl’s sapphire eyes as the light came back into them, tracing the glowing star freckles on her face like constellations. It had hurt, but they were close. Gem wouldn’t ever let her go.
It had been them from the beginning, really. Gem had been there after the nightmare that was Double Life. She was the one to first lift Pearl out of her powdered snow trap, the one who gave her soup and wrapped her in blankets for the first time in weeks, the one who Tilly cautiously decided to trust. As Pearl healed, Gem was right there beside her.
Gem feels safe, steady breaths flood back into her lungs for the first time. A spark of warmth blossoms on her skin. She’s missed these stories. They’ve been there all along, waiting in the dark.
She was right – there was a picnic before everything, with half-eaten sandwiches and an untouched cherry pie still waiting in the basket. She saw Pearl shaking in front of her, hiding the pain in her eyes, and she just knew. She’d made a promise then, but they both knew the truth. It had been there all along. Gem would protect Pearl through whatever nightmare awaited her. She always did. It was always them, right beside each other.
There’s something else there too, though. It no longer feels like sharp points against her memory, but a dark and roiling void instead. It batters her every time she tries to look, pushing her away from its center. She isn’t strong enough to see it yet. She isn’t ready.
This weight was never Gem’s alone to carry. As she travels back through her memory, she sees Pearl’s kind gaze watching her through the labyrinth of tasks, catching her in warm hugs or holding her hand when it mattered most. Gem is not the only protector in this game. Their silent promise still goes fulfilled.
If she reaches back to the world, Gem can feel the soft warmth of arms and wings around her. Familiar hands have undone her braid and are currently cleansing it of End portal matter, weaving flowers into it instead. I’ve got you, Gem hears. I’m right here. You’re so close. The words flood through her with the strength of a healing potion.
Pearl sparring with her, a flurry of swords and laughter, no different from a graceful dance. Gem’s hand in Pearl’s in the middle of the night, whispering secrets to each other. Both of them cooking together in Pearl’s kitchen, beetroot soup and apple cake split evenly between them, nothing hoarded or hidden. Pearl swooping down towards the ocean to rescue Gem when the guardian farm project became a little more than she could handle. Gem holding Pearl as she cried when a nightmare awakened her, reminding her that the final horrors of Evo ended years ago. Warmth and laughter and safety and playful ribbing. I’ve got you. I’m right here. You’re so close.
Gem takes a deep breath and stares into the ravenous void within her mind. Her heart beats an unsteady rhythm. She wants nothing more than to banish the memory, to keep it locked away for the rest of her life. She isn’t sure she can do this. “Help me,” she murmurs, praying the mysterious Listeners guarding the server are still there. “I need to do this, but I don’t know how.”
The voice in her mind is soft and steady. with fear and with uncertainty, but with the strength you know you possess. with the knowledge that your story did not begin this way and this will not be its ending. with the hope of healing you’ve clung to all this time. in the arms of the woman you love, who loves you too.
It is, oddly enough, the first time anyone’s ever said that out loud. Gem loves Pearl. Pearl loves her back. It’s hard to explain, and it’s hard to define, but Gem knows it. She’s known it for a long time. They both have a promise to keep.
It’s going to be okay, Pearl murmurs from the world outside.
Gem gazes into the void. Its power is no longer comforting. It weakens her instead of bringing her strength. It always has. Until she faces it, it always will.
let it hurt, the Listeners whisper. let it be what it is. fight through it. you will come out the other side whole.
Let it hurt, Gem repeats to herself. Fight through it, GeminiSlay. Tell a new story.
GeminiTay, fighter and champion, worldwalker and unnatural creature, creature of undefinable love, reaches into the void. She wraps her hand around its core, clenching it in her fist. She will take its power for herself now. With a final deep breath, she takes in the darkness and lets herself see it for its true nature.
Something is dragging Gem into the darkness.
She kicks and thrashes, but her attacks meet no target. The grip around her stomach tightens with every movement. She tries to scream, but the sound stays locked inside her lungs. She is completely alone. Where is everyone? What’s happening to her? She isn’t sure she’s ever felt more afraid.
The Watchers (for that must be what they are) pull her in, agonizingly close.
A WORD OF WARNING, they say, FOR THOSE WHO GO AGAINST US.
A defiant snap of “no” materializes and then dies on Gem’s tongue. She tries again to bite through their silence. “Let go,” she forces out.
YOU’VE MADE A DEAL, GEMINI. YOU ARE OUR PLAYER NOW. YOU HAVE FORFEITED THE RIGHT TO YOURSELF.
That isn’t how it works. Gem knows that isn’t how it works. Her body, her mind, her heart is her own. They can’t take that away. Can they?
LISTEN. THIS IS WHAT YOU KNOW. THIS IS WHAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN.
“Never.” Gem’s voice falters. Are her words even breaking through?
YOUR FRIENDS ARE GONE. YOU’RE ALL ALONE.
YOU’LL DO MUCH BETTER ON YOUR OWN.
YOUR BODY’S WEAK AND DOOMED TO FALL.
YOU’LL NEED OUR HELP TO FIX IT ALL.
Despite her best efforts, the words begin to worm their way into Gem’s brain. Alone. Weak. In need of fixing. She is in need of fixing.
WE’LL CHANGE YOUR CODE. WE’LL GUIDE YOUR MIND.
WE’LL SHOW YOU WHAT TO LEAVE BEHIND.
No. No. Gem’s whole being seems to ache as the words take root like corruption. The Watchers’ grip only tightens, stronger and stronger until it feels as though Gem’s very skin is too small to contain her body. The seed of corruption eats away at her. She will be better. She will be stronger. The Watchers have chosen her. She needs them. “Just do it,” she murmurs, and the words get through. “You’re hurting me.”
IT’S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY.
As she closes her eyes, Gem’s head fills with noise. Something is scraping her mind away and eating at her organs, intent on leaving her hollow. It twists through her limbs and slows her heart. It should hurt. It does hurt. It should be the worst thing she’s ever felt, but with her mind empty, it’s left to seep in and flood through her. It feels intoxicating. It is the closest thing to power she has anymore. She is broken, glitched, atypical, a patch note, and the Watchers will make her better. She will be better. She will be stronger. She needs them. She needs–
“No.” Pearl’s voice is desperate and powerful in the distance. “No, Gem! Stop! Let her go!”
Gem flickers back to life for a moment. If she is a patch note, Pearl is too, and that thought is too cruel to believe. The Watchers are wrong. They hurt Pearl once, and they’re hurting Gem now. It is them, not her, who will leave her broken. Gem needs to break free. She needs to scream for help. She’s fading too fast.
Pearl is still crying, staring at the emptiness in horror. She is reaching into the darkness and clawing for any sign of her friend. Gem tries to reach back.
GEMINI. SHE CANNOT SAVE YOU.
YOU HAVE MUCH MORE TO DO NOW.
SEEING HER WILL ONLY HURT YOU MORE.
“She can save me” dies on Gem’s tongue. “I need her” won’t leave her throat. “You’re wrong” aches in her stomach like poison. She is a fighter, a survivor, but one fawn cannot face a horde of Watchers alone. No one can. She will need help to break this spell. With every last ounce of anger and pain Gem can muster, she manages to force out one single line of defiance.
“Fuck you.”
YOUR MIND IS OURS. THE GAME’S BEGUN.
WE’LL MAKE YOU WIN.
OUR WILL BE DONE.
The world glows with blinding purple light. Agonizing static floods through Gem’s brain. She screams.
The void pulses with energy, but Gem keeps staring into it. She remembers what they said to her now. She remembers what they did.
Her other, corrupted hand finds the void’s core. She sees the glowing rot of her arm again and studies it closer, seeing the shimmering stars within its End portal matter. For the first time, she greets it as separate, a creature clinging to her for warmth. She forgives herself for it.
“You hurt me,” Gem says to the nightmares in her mind, clear as day. “You locked me away. My mind isn’t yours.”
The void flickers. A piece of Gem expects it to explode outwards, loud and violent. Instead, it shrinks around her. It feels cold and lost but no longer angry. To her surprise, it does not resist her. Gem withdraws her hands and lifts out the core of her forgotten memories, a glowing green light. Glitched code, hyperactive energy, love that doesn’t work in normal ways… everything that makes her divergent is there. She hugs it tightly to her chest. It all floods through her once again.
She feels her heart beating. She breathes. She remembers.
With newfound true power, GeminiTay awakens in Pearl’s arms.