Work Text:
Choosing to deny Maruki's reality was the hardest thing Akira had ever done. It was the first time he had doubted himself since becoming a Phantom Thief. Everything so far had been so certain; risking his freedom to fight Kamoshida, believing in Futaba to deal with Medjed, even placing his bets on Sae Niijima to save his life. But this, choosing willingly to lose Akechi all over again... Knowing how much it hurt the first time...
'Let's go back to our true reality.'
Goro said that like it was the easiest choice in the world. Maybe for the ace detective it was? Going back meant atoning for his crimes with his life and dying on his own terms, all while knowing that he could trust Akira to bring Shido to justice. It wasn't that simple for the leader of the Phantom Thieves, though.
Since joining forces against Maruki together, Goro and Akira had become closer than ever. There were no more secrets, all pretences dropped; they weren't the Ace Detective Prince and the Phantom Thief, they were simply Kurusu Akira and Akechi Goro. They had been able to fully entrust each other with their hearts and had spent a beautiful month fighting in unison and kissing like they were starved for it.
For Akira, returning to their original reality meant losing Goro all over again, having to do so willingly. Worse, it meant going back to a world where they had never even held hands, let alone kissed; a world where circumstances meant they never got to act on their soul bond until it was far too late.
Nobody should misunderstand, he would do what needed to be done, but... It would hurt. It would be the most painful thing he would ever experience. So yes, this was the hardest thing Akira had ever done.
He must have stalled staring up at the Palace that somehow seemed more imposing than it had during previous infiltrations. Akechi cleared his throat conspicuously next to him, sending a sharp pointed glance in his direction.
"Joker, a word?"
His beloved walked off to a secluded outer wall without waiting for an answer. Typical Goro. Akira's heart swelled with affection at the familiar mannerisms, even as his stomach churned violently witnessing exactly what it was he was losing. Knowing that this could be their last chance to ever talk, the leader straightened up from his dejected slouch and slunk over to the physical embodiment of his heart and soul.
Once the pair were out of earshot from the others, Akira let his face turn fully devastated. The other Phantom Thieves had no idea Goro would die today and he had been trying his hardest to hold it together in front of them, selfishly not wanting to be the one to tell them when it was already so painful for him. Grey eyes snagged on the small black marking below Akechi's left eye, tiny elaborate whorls and spirals in an almost unique mark that matched Akira's own. Somehow, he was only just noticing that the Detective Prince hadn't covered it up with concealer today, for the first time ever.
And the last.
"I-I can't, Goro, I can't do this-"
Something in his chest fractured, no longer able to hold back what he was feeling. Large tears sprung to his eyes, salty and stinging and utterly impossible to hold back. Crying in front of his love and rival had always felt pathetic in the past. This time he could only wish he had shown Goro more of his vulnerability, spent more moments mapping the cracks in their hearts together.
At first, Akechi handled it the only way he knew how; the assassin-detective grabbed Joker by the hair and pulled him into an all-consuming kiss, trying to work his own personal demons out of his system while giving Akira what comfort he could. It rang hollow, though, and the tears only fell harder as they pulled away.
"Please don't tell me this is our last kiss..."
Akira knew his voice was almost pitifully broken, a shell of the determination he normally held. It just felt so much harder to lose Akechi - to lose his soulmate - now that he actually knew what he was losing.
"Goro, seriously, I-I can't!"
Akechi remained unmoved, expression hard and unyielding; not entirely unsympathetic, but definitely not giving an inch either.
"You don't have a choice. You will do this."
Akira tried to pull himself together, knowing this had to be the most pathetic display he had ever let Goro see. Until now, the assassin-detective had always brought out the best in him. He couldn't let it be different now. No matter what, he knew this had to happen, so he needed to put his best foot forward. This pathetic version of himself couldn't be the last thing his soulmate ever saw of him.
Even if the cost still wasn't fair.
"I know... I know, Goro," the thief choked out roughly in resignation, trying to stop his tears now that they started. "I know this is the only direction we can go, but can you blame me for hating it?"
The assassin-detective seemed to ponder it, that ever-tense posture loosening slightly as red eyes gazed up at the laboratory's roof. The way the skin at the corner of his eye creased as he squinted felt more precious than ever.
"If you let Maruki manipulate you, I'll kill you," Goro eventually stated, never one to mince words or discuss something he didn't want to. That avoidance was Akira's major hint that his other half was in just as much anguish as he was. Knowing that Akechi was hurting too somehow made the weight of it all a fraction easier to bear; they were meant to be equals in every way, so if this pain wasn't crippling his soulmate Akira couldn't let it crush him either.
Reaching forward, the Phantom Thief linked their gloved hands, intertwining their fingers. Even through the leather and fabric Goro's hand was warm and steady. It soothed Akira's heart. If his soulmate hurt this much and yet still didn't show any fear or doubt then he was sure about his decision. Now he just had to make his own conviction match.
"I know. I won't betray you, especially not when it matters most," he reassured, tears finally drying as he drew strength from his living heart and soul one final time. "I have other people I care about, other things I can learn to live for."
Both figures looked over to the gathered Phantom Thieves. Akira was their heart, their centre. As long as they existed, he would always have a purpose and a place to belong, no matter how much else he lost along they way. They were the best group of friends in the world, their bonds formed through pain and loss. If anyone could support him through losing his soulmate, it would be them.
Akechi's face was more neutral than normal. That little hint of a scowl which had appeared ever-present had smoothed away, and Akira had to wonder if this was one last gift to him; this one small sign that Goro no longer hated the Phantom Thieves, or never did at all. It was something he would carry with him in his heart alongside the red of his eyes and his usual coffee order at Leblanc. Another on top of a hundred little things that would stay with the Phantom Thief for the rest of his life.
"Goro," he breathed out softly, interlacing their fingers. "You're my soulmate. It's my job to make you happy." There was a brief pause as their eyes met. If their fingers clenched and twined together tighter, then that was just between Akira and Goro. "Will letting you forge your own path make you happiest?"
"A foolish question. You know the answer," the assassin responded in a mild tone, nearly none of his usual bite in the remark. Maybe he knew that this was Akira strengthening his own resolve.
A gloved hand reached up to gently cup Goro's soft cheek, and the detective allowed it. Akira's heart fluttered fast at the moment of intimacy he was being allowed. The last they would have. This, too, he would cherish. With a thumb, he gently stroked over the identifying mark that tied them together, both a blessing and a curse to them. Akechi scoffed in the way he did when he felt something was needlessly sentimental, but he made no move to pull away.
"Then let's go and kick Maruki's ass!"
Maybe the enthusiasm was too much for the act that was going to cost him his one true match, but when he knew he was doing right by his soulmate it suddenly felt easier. True, he still wished for all the moments he would never have, and there were a thousand little things that would feel out of place without Goro to complete the picture, but he had to believe it would be okay. After all, these were his convictions and going back to reality was his justice. Justice hadn't led him astray yet.
He was about to pull away and head back to the group, but Akechi's hand suddenly tightened on his. It was unusual, Akira was the only one who ever initiated affection. Goro certainly never objected when Akira moved away. Before he could question it, his soulmate spoke to give him the greatest gift of all.
"If I was able to stay around longer, maybe I'd finally figure out how your fucked up head works."
Goro also wished they had more time. Despite wanting to return to the reality where he was dead and gone, he also held the regret that they didn't have more time. Goro felt the same, and that was enough for Akira to let him go without regret. Maybe they never got to do a thousand little things, but they had just enough time to love each other. It was enough.
"There never would have been enough time in the world for that," Akira quipped, his lips quirking into the skeleton of a smile despite himself. He could have sworn Akechi smirked back.
They didn't let go of each other's hands as they returned to the group, a silent agreement to bask in the hour or so they had left. It was the hardest hour of Akira's life, but also the most joyful. Akechi let go of his inhibitions, making the most of his final chance to do so; he cracked a couple of jokes to the group (albeit pretty morbid ones), he willingly gave Ryuji an assist, and he held hands with Akira for no reason other than 'I wanted to'.
The kiss they shared on the Palace border did turn out to be their last kiss, but for one beautiful stolen hour Akira got something better than one last kiss; he got a glimpse of the whole of what Akechi was, a taster of what a life together with their friends around them would have been like. It was just an hour, but it meant the world to Akira, and when he began the climb to face Maruki he found that he had no regrets and would not crumple to spend just a little more time with Goro.
What he'd already had was enough.