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Goro was not known for his patience, so he would give himself credit for successfully posing for the last three hours. He could tolerate this for Yusuke. What Goro could not tolerate, however, was the fact the past three painfully long hours had been a waste. Upon taking a break for a stretch (Goro) and a sorely needed glass of water (Yusuke), the impromptu model had discovered the canvas was still nearly blank.
"... For fuck's sake..." Goro muttered a small curse under his breath. There was a basic sketch which had clearly been amended innumerous times, and the only part that had been outlined was his jawline. Obviously he was no art expert, but three hours into their second session (the first one had been five hours total) felt like it should have produced more than this.
The detective didn't particularly feel like staying in the room, lest he wreck the little progress his partner had made in a frustrated whirlwind. Without really thinking it through, he headed to the small kitchenette connected to Yusuke's dorm. Maybe he shouldn't since that was where his partner had gone, but if he ran into him and confronted him about his wasted time then so be it. He just couldn't hang around that disappointingly empty canvas any long. Something about it frustrated him deeply.
Entering the kitchenette revealed a very different sight than expected.
Allegedly, Yusuke had been coming to obtain a glass of water, however that definitely wasn't what he was doing in his current state. The tall artist was slumped rather melodramatically on one of the simple dorm chairs, head tipped back to allow him to gaze moodily at the ceiling. His arms dangle limply, almost lifelessly, at his sides. The overall over-the-top dejected aura his boyfriend exuded was almost pathetic.
"Did you ever even drink a glass of water?"
"What is the point? My life is meaningless and my talents are naught but a sham," Yusuke bemoans, throwing one of his arms out in a wide arc before letting it fall back to his side. "The Gods of inspiration have abandoned me and my spring has run dry. It is hubris for me to even dare hold a brush in my hands."
There was a lot to unpack there that Goro honestly didn't have the patience for right now, but that was the catch when you loved someone. Sometimes you just had to muster patience even when you didn't have a drop left. Allowing himself a singular deep sigh, he set himself in motion collecting two cups and filling them with water. He placed one in front of Yusuke before sitting in the empty chair beside him.
The silence lingered for a while. The artist was lost somewhere in the depths of his mind while Akechi tried to consider the best angle to tackle the problem efficiently. Being too blunt was liable to make his partner even worse than he already was, but it absolutely wasn't his style to be too soft with him either. Taking a sip of water to buy another moment, he considered what he knew; Yusuke was a more delicate soul than he let on and didn't always respond well to confronting problems head on. He should probably phrase it as a question to soften the blow.
"I take it this a side effect of the near-empty canvas in your bedroom?"
Yusuke sat up immediately, eyes turning sharper. Offended. Utterly offended by Goro's apparently still too frank assessment of the situation. Oh well, he might as well continue down the path now he was on it.
"Yusuke, this is ridiculous. You have painted portraits before," the detective insisted with a frown, angling his body to stare at his boyfriend head-on. "What could be so difficult that you've now wasted eight total hours of my time?"
"I have not painted your portrait before, and my cursed hands have made it an exercise in futility."
Akechi knew very little about art, but from a technical aspect there should be no difference between painting him or painting Haru (whom Yusuke had completed a portrait of just last month). In which case, what was the problem? There had to be an aspect he wasn't correctly considering that would help him get to the root of the problem.
"In what way is this different from your other portraits? How am I different from your other subjects?"
Maybe the answer laid with Goro himself rather than the actual craft. It could be the duality of him, his polite facade versus his dark innate nature, but that didn't feel quite right. Capturing contradictory or contrasting themes had become a specialty of Yusuke's since he completed 'Desire and Hope' last year, so it didn't make sense.
The artist's look turned outright withering as the detective tried to deduce the answer. With a dramatic sigh he leaned forward and planted his head on the tiny table, his lanky body arched almost comically thanks to the angle.
"Is it not obvious what torments me?" Evidently not, or Akechi wouldn't have asked. He refrained from saying that out loud, though. He was getting better at this 'patience' thing. "This is the first time I have attempted to paint someone I loved, although I admit I am failing to remember why I love you right now."
Sentimentality. Stupid fucking sentimentality yet again being the one thing Goro forget to factor in as a variable. From a technical perspective he was indeed no different, the problem lay in the messaging. Yusuke was trying to convey something entirely new in his brushstrokes this time. Since this was his first relationship, he had never put 'love' on the canvas before. It made sense.
"... Nothing could accurately show how much I love you. Nothing, Goro."
'Love' was a powerful thing, indeed. It could teach unhinged ex-assassins patience and compromise and could stump the greatest of artists (yes, Goro did believe Yusuke was one of the greatest artists, and no, he would never admit it out loud).
"You're a fool, Kitagawa. You can't capture 'love' in an exact form on canvas, it's too abstract and multi-faceted," he scoffed with a roll of his eyes, wondering not for the first time how painters could stand torturing themselves pursuing the immaterial. Of course, he was touched that the artist wanted to immortalise his feelings towards him in painting form, but some things just weren't possible. His boyfriend's hands clenched into fists at his sides as he sat up, eyes going wide and slightly wild. A frantic sort of energy suddenly seemed to zip through the air.
The gloom seemed to be clearing from Yusuke's eyes. An unusual and unexpected reaction to the start of a 'just give up' speech.
"This is why I love you," the blue-haired fool suddenly supplied, starkly contrasting his earlier comment of 'failing to remember why I love you'. Sure, that had just been dramatic flair, but still. "Your fresh insight always finds exactly what I need, I have not been abandoned at all! The Gods of inspiration speak through you, Goro!"
The thing about Yusuke was that he lived on a different planet, and therefore the detective didn't have a fucking clue what he was talking about. Art was already weird and foreign enough, a language he couldn't learn, but his boyfriend took it to a whole other level.
"Out of curiosity, what the fuck did I manage to strike?"
"Multi-faceted! I can't define love as just one thing, I must approach from new and exciting angles! Goro, hurry back to the modelling before I lose this spark. Hurry now!"
Yusuke ran off like a man possessed, a paintbrush somehow already in hand as he charged back to the awaiting canvas in his bedroom. Mad as a hatter, that one. Melodramatic moaning one moment, extreme euphoria the next. Maybe that was part of why they fit so well; they were as manic as each other at times. The artist never even did have that drink of water, but there would be no breaking him free from his zone now.
Akechi surprisingly felt better for having helped Yusuke through this predicament, albeit unintentionally. Honestly, he had genuinely been about to tell him to give up on painting this portrait, but he was actually glad he hadn't managed to get there now. It was a delight to see Yusuke energised by overcoming a barrier. Yes, he felt like he could tolerate sitting for another few hours now he was certain progress would be made.
As he entered the artist's bedroom to resume his prior position he was greeted by the sight of Yusuke already refining the base sketch. In a moment of indulgence, he leaned in to kiss the artist's cheek. Something about helping someone he loved put him in a more agreeable mood than normal.
He assumed his position on the stool once more, and when Yusuke finally brought a dollop of paint up to the canvas with enthusiasm he couldn't hold back his approving smile. If it was Yusuke attempting it, Goro thought painting 'love' might be possible after all.
