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Sometimes Peter Parker couldn't help but get frustrated about how trouble always seemed to happen when he was around, it was his signature Parker luck, at least that was what he grew more and more convinced off every day. Today was no exception, he had just been minding his own business going out to buy some socks and shoes at the shopping mall (since he kept throwing his away in emergency situations) when a robbery in one of the diamond stores on the bottom floor was set in motion.
He slid in a dark corner out of sight of any security cameras and webbed his clothes in a bundle to the ceiling before swinging into action, hearing a few people call out his name in relief and others in anger as he launched himself through the open door into the jewelry store. Before he could even say a quip he instinctively launched himself aside as his spider-sense warned him from something behind him. From his position on the wall he could see the confused duo of robbers stare in shock at the reason his spider-sense went off. The masked individuals even lowered their guns a little as they stared, which gave him a moment to look at it as well, it was a large broad figure in the frilliest fluffiest white wedding gown he had ever looked at, behind the veil he could see the familiar black and red mask and both of the lacy white gloves hands rested a semi automatic firearm that would probably cause more collateral damage then anything he could ever do.
“Deadpool”
The groaned and annoyed manner he spoke in didn't throw of the merc with a mouth though, but then again it never did. The only time he really recalled hurting the man's feelings was when he on a very very lousy day had tried to rip of the merc's mask while insulting him (not one of his proudest moments).
“Hi baby boy! Like the dress, I should wear it to our wedding don't you think?”
“We're not even dating you loon.”
He bit as webbed up the dangerous fire arms in the merc's hands before focusing again on the robbers, the people in the store were staring at him and Wade, just what he wanted, getting linked to Wade again, “Menance and Murderer cause havoc in the mall” he already heard JJ's voice yell those words as tomorrow's headline.
“Not YET you mean! I am still going to try and swoon you with my charms and my good looks... maybe you do need some alcohol first though...”
“I would die of alcohol poisoning before I would think you look good Deadpool... leave I can handle this!”
He flipped in front of the robbers before they recovered from their shock even more, webbing up their guns before smacking their heads together. The quicker he handled this the quicker he could leave and try and shake the merc.
He wanted to say more to his frilly dressed company, but his spider-sense started tingling again while the two criminals he had been handling started trying to fight free. So he did something he would never admit to anyone he did, he trusted on Deadpool to handle what was behind his back as he webbed up the robbers.
“Deadpool, no k-”
“I know Spidey...No killing.”
He still heard gunfire after a while and felt something crash against his back, he had the instinct to make his powers bolt him to the floor keeping him from toppling over under the weight of the thing against his back, glancing over his shoulder he realized it was Deadpool himself.
“Can I at least maim him for ruining my pretty dress? I haven't even paid for it yet!”
The mercenary sounded annoyed as well as a tad strained, his sound didn't come out right, but the bullet holes in his chest might have something to do with that. There was a third person standing in the doorway holding a weaker and smaller gun, one that would have been easier to conceal then the one his partners had been carrying.
“I'll handle it, you make sure the civilians are okay!”
He had jumped up to the ceiling before the merc could protest, quickly making his way to the guy in the doorway webbing the gun out of his hand before he could adjust the aim to him and webbing him up tightly as he could hear Deadpool check with the civilians if they had a lemon and seltzer water on them.
Peter focused on dragging the robbers out of the shop and shoving to the security guards that came rushing in, one of them wanted to grab Deadpool probably for stealing the dress, but Peter stopped the guard.
“He'll pay for the dress, ma'am...”
“You're working together?”
“No, but I keep an eye on him when he shows up, he'll go to the store and pay for it right now.... Wade!”
“You called baby boy? Are we going to date now so I can use this dress after I had it cleaned?”
“No, Wade, you didn't pay for the dress yet, go pay for it the robbery is solved...”
“Can I pick out engagement rings for us first? Since we're lovers and all...”
“We are NOT lovers, Wade... just go pay for the dress please... I'll get you burrito's for the assist...”
“It's a date then, back in a flash!”
The mercenary dashed between the security guards, moving swiftly even in the puffy monstrosity he was wearing, disappearing in the bridal store while Peter Parker reluctantly collected his web-bag of clothing and waited outside of the bridal store. He knew better than trying to duck out of a promise to Wade Wilson.