Chapter Text
“Why did you let me die? “
Green eyes met red. Sonic stumbled back, trying to force himself to look away. Where was he? It was dark, and all of his senses felt overwhelmed. The air crackled with fire that he couldn't see.
He was face to face with Shadow.
But Shadow was dead.
He stood in the darkness, mostly obscured by shadows. The smell of singed fur hung thick in the air. A haze of smoke burned Sonic's eyes, choking him.
“I didn't- “ He shook his head, “It wasn't my fault!“
“Aren't you supposed to be a hero? I died alone. Real heroic of you. “
Sonic stared at the ground, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry- “
Shadow scowled, “Look me in the eyes! “
“No… “ Sonic covered his face, sinking to the ground, “Leave me alone! “
“Look at me! “
“No! “
“Look at me! “
Shadow's shouts filled Sonic's ears. He curled up, covering his ears to down out the noise. Every panicked breath felt like inhaling fire. He coughed, trying to breathe, but he couldn't.
“No! “ Sonic gasped, sitting up.
Sonic grasped at his throat, trying to shake the feeling that he was being choked. He only began to calm down when his fingers pulled a necklace from his neck. He'd gotten into the habit of wearing a ring strung through a leather cord, but it had somehow managed to wrap itself around his neck.
It was a dream. A nightmare, really. The third one in a row. Which didn't make it any better. He looked around, taking in his room. He hadn't woken up Tails or Knuckles, thankfully, but his heart felt like it was beating so loudly it would.
For several minutes, Sonic sat there, breathing heavily. He was fine. Shadow was dead. He was fine, despite Shadow being dead. Maybe he deserved the nightmares. His limbs shook, and he looked up at the window. Just one more night.
Carefully, he made his way out of bed, crossing the room silently. Sonic approached the window, opening it slowly before climbing out onto the roof.
When he had nightmares, which were growing more and more frequent, the silence of his bedroom became overwhelming. There was practically an endless forest outside, and he ached to escape the crushing silence.
So he ran.
The feeling of the wind in his quills. The feeling of his feet hitting the ground. The feeling of the golden ring, strung around his neck, bumping against his chest with each step he took. It was a nice distraction from… everything.
The nightmares were awful. As the comedic relief, Sonic was the last hedgehog who should be plagued by nightmares. Or… Just the last hedgehog. Ever since Shadow...
The trees flew past Sonic as he weaved between them. It was a growing habit, running when he couldn't sleep. He used to do it before he moved in with Tom and Maddie, and it was something he hadn't managed to drop.
Why couldn't he get Shadow out of his head? Survivor's guilt? It's not like he liked the guy. Shadow attacked Tom. Sure, Tom had visually appeared to be someone haunting from Shadow's past, but he'd been in rough shape for weeks afterward.
He swerved, almost crashing into a tree trunk headfirst.
‘Pay attention, Sonic!’ He cursed himself.
The running got better when Tails and Knuckles moved in. Life was better, there wasn't a looming threat of danger, and he had a family. He thought Eggman was dead.
Survivor's guilt. It had to be that, why else would he be having nightmares of Shadow? Even though he hardly knew the guy, Shadow still plagued his nightmares…
Sonic tripped on a tree root, going flying onto the forest floor.
“Ow! Shit! “
He'd left a small crater where he landed, and when he turned to look back, he had almost ripped the tree out of the ground by its root. He hissed through his teeth as he stood, mentally evaluating his body to make sure he hadn't broken anything. That would be an embarrassing knock on Tom and Maddie's bedroom door.
No one knew about the nightmares. At least, if they did, no one mentioned it to him. There wasn't really a valid reason for him to be having them. Sonic shouldn't be having nightmares. Sonic was funny, confident, a hero, even. So why couldn't he just… sleep?
He dusted himself off, and, like usual, continued to run. Away from his feelings. Away from his nightmares.
He'd had a couple about Eggman. The guy was scary, knew where his family lived, had an arsenal of freaky robots, the works. But those nightmares were stupid, he could wake up and carry on with his day. Why wasn't it the same for Shadow? Why couldn't he rest? Why did Shadow's death attach itself to his brain?
Once again, Sonic stumbled, catching himself this time. The wind was stinging his eyes, but it kept him awake, so he pushed forward.
It was affecting his daily life. He wasn't as alert anymore. He cracked less jokes. Tails had clearly noticed. Sonic wanted to tell him, to tell anybody, but the thought of it was worse than the nightmares. He didn't know what to say, how to even approach anyone. He felt more alone than he had living in a cave for his first years on Earth.
The cave.
Sonic stopped running, breathing heavily as he stared at the sight before him. He’d run all the way to his old hideout. He hesitantly peeked inside, almost expecting it to look the way it had before. It didn't, of course, because all of his stuff was back at home. His home. He had a home now.
Sonic turned and left.
He tried to focus on his way back, but the run had done its job tiring him out. Maybe when he got back he'd actually be able to get some sleep. Maybe, he-
“Fuck! “
He collided with a tree, hard, falling backward, right onto his-
“Ugh... “ Sonic blinked the stars out of his eyes, trying to focus them.
How long had he been lying there? And what happened?
Something leaned over him, something dark, with glowing red eyes, and…
Scrambling to his feet, Sonic stumbled back.
“No. No, you're dead. “ He swayed slightly, still dizzy from his fall.
Shadow cocked an eyebrow at him, “It's good to see you too. “
Sonic stared at him, blinking rapidly. Shadow looked the same, red highlights, red eyes, the same resting bitch face. He didn't… look like he’d exploded.
“Well don't stare too hard. “ Shadow said sarcastically.
Raising a hand to his throbbing head, Sonic stepped back, leaning against a tree for support.
“Ok... Ok. I hit my head way too hard. And now I'm hallucinating. That's… Not good. “ He mumbled under his breath, massaging his forehead.
Shadow stared at him, looking confused.
“Stop- Stop looking at me! You're dead. You're dead, and I'm hallucinating, or dreaming again, or- Something! “
“I don't think I'm dead... “ Shadow said, looking down at himself.
Sonic sunk to the ground, burying his face in his hands. “I'm gonna open my eyes and he'll be gone. I'm gonna open my eyes and he'll be gone. “ He repeated the mantra under his breath.
Sure enough, he opened his eyes a moment later and found himself alone. Sonic covered his mouth, choking back a sob of relief. He wasn't crazy! Not at the moment, at least.
Why couldn't Shadow just stay dead?
Using a tree for support, Sonic tried to stand, but he couldn't feel his legs. His breath hitched as he fell back down.
First, he was crazy, now he can't even stand up?
Panic began to rise in his chest, despite his brain reminding him that he wasn't in danger. He couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe? He tore at his neck, but his fingers only found his loose necklace.
Was this a panic attack? No! Sonic doesn't get panic attacks. He's better than this. He's stronger than this. He's- Terrified. His heart feels like it's going to explode. His limbs felt heavy, and his thoughts were everywhere.
He didn't know how long he sat there. Alone, terrified, choking on his own breath, but eventually, Sonic could control his breathing again. By the time it finally subsided, the sun was rising, and he realized that he needed to get back home.
By the time he reached the roof, the sun was up. Sonic didn't remember running there, but he didn't care. He climbed into his bed and, for once, fell asleep immediately.
-+-
“Sonic? “ Tails shook him, “Wake up, it's time for breakfast. “
“Wh- “ Sonic coughed hoarsely, “What time is it? “
Tails looked at him weirdly, “It's like.. 9:30? Like every morning? Are you ok? “
Sonic coughed again, trying to clear his throat, “I'm not feeling good, lemme sleep. “
“Oook, “ Tails said, heading downstairs.
Sonic watched him leave, making sure Tails was gone before he threw off the covers. What happened last night? He was covered in dirt, there was dried blood on his knee, and he realized far too abruptly that his head was killing him.
Stopping to listen for a moment, he could hear everyone in the kitchen. Gingerly, Sonic climbed out of bed, creeping down to the bathroom so he could see the damage in the mirror.
He. Looked. Terrible.
Sure, he wasn't the greatest looking guy, but yikes. He had bloodshot eyes, dark circles, leaves stuck in his quills, and a pounding headache! What was up with that?
Staring at his reflection, Sonic clutched the edge of the sink. What happened? He ran, he tripped, he.. Crashed? Into. A tree. Not Shadow. He crashed into a tree, and then he hallucinated Shadow, cocky and sarcastic as ever. And then he- Got up and walked home. Nothing else.
He turned on the water and splashed some on his face, using his hands to brush the dirt out of his quills. It didn't do much for his eyes, but he could crawl back into bed cleaner than he'd crawled out.
He made sure that he was visibly clean before he left the bathroom, and ran straight into Knuckles on the way out.
“AH- Knuckles! Geez, you scared me.“
Knuckles furrowed his brow, “I scared... You? Brother, are you feeling alright? “
“I'm fine! “ Sonic insisted, “I'm fine, excuse me. “
Before Knuckles could respond, Sonic had pushed past him and made his way back into the attic. He curled up in his bed, trying in vain, to sleep.
Footsteps creaked outside of the attic, leading Sonic to turn away from the door and squeeze his eyes shut. He could hear them coming in.
“Sonic? “ Tails whispered.
He didn't respond, deciding to feign sleep to avoid any awkward conversations.
“Is Sonic asleep? “ Knuckles asked, as soft as his voice could go, “It's much too late in the day for a warrior to be resting. “
“He said that he's sick. “ Tails answered, keeping his voice hushed, “I think something is wrong... “
“Should we fetch Mother? Or Thomas?”
“No. “ Tails hesitated, “I… should have mentioned it sooner, but… he's been sneaking out.“
Knuckles gasped, “What? But that's not allowed!“
“I can never stay awake that late, but I'll wake up in the middle of the night and find his bed empty and the window cracked. “
Sonic cursed himself. Why hadn't he remembered to use a couple of pillows under his covers to make it look like he was asleep? He should have guessed that Tails would notice.
“Also, there were… Leaves? On the ground near his bed? I guess he goes out and runs. I just wish he'd confide in us. You'd listen if he needed to talk, right? “
“Of course! We are a noble family, family helps family! “
Tails shushed Knuckles, reminding him to be quiet before flying over to Sonic's bed and adjusting his blanket.
“We should let him sleep. “ Tails whispered, making his way out of their bedroom.
It only made Sonic feel worse, knowing that his brothers were worried about him and he was too ashamed to confide in them. Family helps family…
He sat up, unable to contain his restlessness any longer. Despite being exhausted, Sonic couldn't sleep. It didn't help that the large window let so much daylight in. He made his way over to the window, reaching to cover it with a blanket to block the light.
His heart dropped to his stomach. There, in the trees, a flash of black. Was it..? No! He cursed himself, shaking his head. It wasn't Shadow. Shadow was dead. He forced himself to look back outside. A raccoon. Just a raccoon. That's all.
Sonic yawned, rubbing his eyes. He really did need sleep. Slowly, he dragged his feet over to his bed, praying silently that he could escape the nightmares for once.