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Kunikidazai: Across The Lunaverse
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Published:
2025-02-13
Words:
2,185
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
23
Kudos:
86
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7
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528

My (20M) odd relationship with my coworker (20M)

Summary:

TL;DR My coworker of one month is an annoying loser, albeit a competent one. Given the circumstances, we may become close. Part of me hopes for it. Rationally, I doubt if I ever should (within good reason).

Kunikida has questions. Internet anons might have answers.

English version of Meu (20H) relacionamento estranho com um colega de trabalho (20H).

Notes:

Hilarious plot bunny that came to me. The HTML parts were plenty of work. Or at least troublesome enough to make me not write anything similar so soon.

This post would be on a “relationship advice” board. It took place weeks after the first light novel. This fictional website wasn’t named and isn’t a one-on-one depiction of a real image board. I idealized a chan-like site with an active modteam and extra features. The natural toxicity is there, and it was 2009. If the topics in the tags upset you, kindly do not read.

There are countless easter eggs in the usernames. A handful of canon characters were chatting here besides the OP. Guesses in the comments are welcome and encouraged.

To mobile users: as pointed out to me by a reader, use horizontal mode or turn on the reading mode on your browser.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

My (20M) odd relationship with my coworker (20M) Name: kore_wa_pen_desu 2009-09-29 (Tue) 21:34:07 N.º 32716290

Not my regular username.

I work at a small company. Earlier this month, we hired a new guy (see title). I directly supervised and approved him. His entrance exam was a free sample of what hell feels like. The reasons were endless, and the guy himself was one of them.

I call him every morning to make him go to work. He’s always late. Writing out reports, replying to emails? Either he half-asses them, or I give up and do that myself. That aside, he plays stupid pranks. He also leaves the company building to hit on girls or attempt suicide in preposterous ways. A slacker with chuunibyou tendencies.

In summary, the day-to-day routine shifted into pure disaster. I hate to admit, it isn’t all bad.

Believe it or not, we have reasons not to fire him. It’s a difficult job. Putting it bluntly, it’d be impossible to find someone like him.

Our joint success rate has no precedents. I usually can tell what he’s thinking, what he’s doing next, etc. And the other way round, without exchanging a word. I’ve never seen anything like it. I can blindly trust him with serious business (actually serious), and he never disappoints. He’s capable of things I would never be.

Given it’s almost a family-run company, our after parties and happy hours have only a handful of people. Someone leaving them earlier, or simply not going, is a common sight, and not even the boss minds it. As a consequence, this guy and I end up drinking together.

We talked a lot during this month. I still know very little about him. That bothered me the other day. As if I wanted to know more? If that fits. The thought was persistent. For a moment, I pondered if it wasn’t a form of attraction. I don’t think it is, but being honest, it was on my mind.

It’s early to say we’re friends. When I’m not pissed out of my mind, we act friendly. If we ever became friends, during that moment, it didn’t sound bad. It’d be productive if he opened up a little, and I’d be willing to listen. Not that I’ve spelt that out to him.

On the other hand, it’s the guy who vanishes from the office, tries to off himself, chases after any lady, writes trash reports, and is late to work every day without fail.

I don’t know what to make of it, therefore, I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts?

TL;DR My coworker of one month is an annoying loser, albeit a competent one. Given the circumstances, we may become close. Part of me hopes for it. Rationally, I doubt if I ever should (within good reason).

 

  • [blocked] Reply Name: kurigohan_to_kamehameha 2009-09-29 (Tue) 21:44:16 N.º 32172834
    • You’re gay and into him.
    • [blocked] Name: kinkangenomu 2009-09-29 (Tue) 21:46:35 N.º 32172932
      • End of post.
    • [blocked] Name: donhacchi 2009-09-29 (Tue) 21:50:27 N.º 32172957
      • You were brave enough to say what we’re all thinking. Thank you.

 

  • [blocked] Reply Name: yukkyuri_nitori 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:01:33 N.º 32181857
    • I’m disgusted. I don’t even know how I managed to read the entire thing.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:03:55 N.º 32182047
      • Any other relevant opinions or complaints Your Honor could share?
      • [blocked] Name: yukkyuri_nitori 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:04:59 N.º 32182198
        • Faggot.

 

  • [blocked] Reply Name: itonokogiri 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:20:04 N.º 32183858
    • Such a useless bum, and he wasn’t fired yet? Obvious bait. Is your company hiring? Can I send my résumé? lol.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:21:18 N.º 32184136
      • Users like you are the cancer killing this board.
      • [blocked] Name: seaweed_o 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:26:43 N.º 32184185
        • I wish my job were this easygoing.
        • Name: 09_baka_janai 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:29:07 N.º 32184318
          • You should see what people got away with at my former workplace.
        • Name: haganenobushi 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:37:33 N.º 32184337
          • This could be a highschool student larping as an adult. After all, he can’t “fire” a classmate. That should explain it.
          • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-29 (Tue) 22:41:02 N.º 32184416
            • I’m not. I dropped out of college a while ago.

 

  • [blocked] Reply Name: konomama_koto 2009-09-29 (Tue) 23:23:29 N.º 32184519
    • You’re going to keep on creating threads like this till you come to terms with it. There’s no escape: you are gay. Accept that.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-29 (Tue) 23:30:54 N.º 32184577
      • Speaking from experience?
      • [blocked] Name: konomama_koto 2009-09-29 (Tue) 23:33:44 N.º 32184589
        • A defensive reply, as you don’t know what else to say. Typical.
        • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:02:04 N.º 32184601
          • If you don’t mean to help, begone.

 

  • Reply Name: seki_firstfriend 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:13:35 N.º 32184815
    • Be strict with him. How can you allow a kouhai to act like that?
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:26:41 N.º 32184888
      • I AM strict. It’s not a matter of allowing. Had it been an easy case, I wouldn’t have posted this in the first place.
      • Name: seki_firstfriend 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:35:11 N.º 32194917
        • No alternatives other than telling you to try harder.
        • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:38:47 N.º 32194951
          • While you’re correct, I believe you have nothing else to add.
          • Name: seki_firstfriend 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:40:20 N.º 32194976
            • Whoa. Do you treat everyone like that?
            • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:42:24 N.º 32195050
              • Only those who don’t contribute to the debate.

 

  • Reply Name: midonaito 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:55:51 N.º 32196622
    • Why are you second-guessing complimenting him to his face? That’s suspicious of you.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 00:58:39 N.º 32196648
      • Have you ever made the mistake of complimenting someone who’s full of themselves?

 

  • Reply Name: warawarakachi 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:27:02 N.º 32196654
    • I was on the edge of my seat for the moment you wrote paragraphs on his beautiful eyes.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:31:46 N.º 32196827
      • Better luck next time you buy manga.

 

  • Reply Name: usasumi 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:38:14 N.º 32196960
    • Is no one giving him actual advice?
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:41:03 N.º 32197001
      • Still waiting for it.

 

  • [blocked] Reply Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:50:02 N.º 32197071
    • Your post boils down to “I want to know him better, but it’s probably a shitty idea”. In case you’re single, you do sound like you’re into this guy.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:51:19 N.º 32197138
      • What does being single have to do with being into him?
      • [blocked] Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:57:33 N.º 32197163
        • If you’re starved for attention, you end up directing that at any person, regardless of what your type is. Are you single or not, anyway? Is the the other guy single? Is he handsome, perhaps?
        • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 01:59:06 N.º 32197189
          • My coworker exists in a quantum state of dating a new girl every three days. Yes, I’m single. Why? Are you hitting on me? I’ll pass. There are more appropriate sites for you to meet someone.
          • [blocked] Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 02:01:35 N.º 32197264
            • Thought so. He should be popular with women alright. Do you envy that?
            • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 02:04:08 N.º 32197321
              • I’m single out of a personal choice. I’ll get married in exactly six years. I don’t see a problem with that.
              • [blocked] Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 02:07:14 N.º 32197333
                • Do you have your eye on someone? Did your parents take care of that for you? In that case, wouldn’t it be proper to introduce you to the lady? Also, do you envy that other guy or not?
                • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 02:10:28 N.º 32197367
                  • My parents don’t meddle with those affairs, and I have no marriage proponents at the moment. Why would I envy a dimwit who can’t hold a relationship?
                  • [blocked] Name: sebas_chan 2009-09-30 (Wed) 02:30:09 N.º 32201020
                    • Bitchless. lol
                  • [blocked] Name: 83_lemon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 03:01:45 N.º 32201040
                    • You can always smell a virgin by the post. Fascinating.
                  • [blocked] Name: cohiiwokurae 2009-09-30 (Wed) 03:15:11 N.º 32201060
                    • OP, have you ever held a girl’s hand? Relatives don’t count.
                  • [blocked] Name: huzigidane 2009-09-30 (Wed) 03:30:16 N.º 32201075
                    • It’s always one of these at the scene of the crime.
                  • [blocked] Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 03:37:09 N.º 32201086
                    • Got it.
                    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 08:02:16 N.º 32201099
                      • Look what you made of my post. It’s your fault.
                      • [blocked] Name: einsteindragon 2009-09-30 (Wed) 08:10:10 N.º 32202021
                        • If you tremble and faint at the thought of talking to a woman, I’m not to blame. Another question: are you truly a virgin, or do you just sound like one?

 

  • Reply Name: omisesama 2009-09-30 (Wed) 09:17:38 N.º 32322324
    • It’s morning already. Tell your “friend” I said “good morning”.

 

  • Reply Name: 0maehir0 2009-09-30 (Wed) 11:31:13 N.º 32322526
    • What a bizarre story. I don’t know how to even help you. Why is he obsessed about suicide?
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 12:20:09 N.º 32343014
      • I don’t know why, and wouldn’t feel comfortable asking.
      • Name: 0maehir0 2009-09-30 (Wed) 13:13:46 N.º 32343323
        • As you two go out for drinks on the regular, I think he’ll tell you eventually.
        • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 13:16:08 N.º 32343647
          • Indeed, under those conditions, he might tell me. Thanks for the consideration.

 

  • Reply Name: reishirekishi 2009-09-30 (Wed) 14:00:02 N.º 32354510
    • At some point, you mention a “success rate”. What’s the field of work? If you can’t afford to fire an employee who’s such a hassle to keep, it should be something very specific (or bullshit).
    • Name: 3r3n4 2009-09-30 (Wed) 14:12:11 N.º 32354612
      • The latter, I’d say. Notice how OP replied to almost every comment, except for yours.

 

  • Reply Name: hoshiboshinokuriningu 2009-09-30 (Wed) 16:16:08 N.º 32385015
    • 1) What did he do for a living before?
    2) Why did he switch jobs?
    3) Is he a foreigner? He doesn’t have any common sense, sure, but other cultures may have other expectations.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 16:30:19 N.º 32385042
      • 1 and 2) No clue. I wouldn’t doubt he was fired from whatever prior job;
      3) AFAIK, no. If he’s a foreigner, he doesn’t look like one.

 

  • Reply Name: sakamoto 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:10:30 N.º 33332425
    • So you’re saying you’ve never met someone like this guy. Not even to compare with in your head? Troubled people are everywhere. They’re the symptom of an ill society. Think about your previous relationship with similar people in contrast to the current relationship before jumping into conclusions.
    • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:30:10 N.º 33332627
      • There are people here and there in my life I could compare to him. However, they don’t seem to keep the same “distance” from me. No matter if he keeps that distance out of respect or whatever else.
      • Name: sakamoto 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:35:29 N.º 33333548
        • Your points of comparison are people close to you, is that correct? They should have no restrictions to talk to you. When he pursues romance with someone else, do you feel possessive about him?
        • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:38:13 N.º 33333619
          • Yes, the people I could compare him with are close to me. No, I don’t feel possessive. He can date who he feels like, it’s none of my business.
          • Name: sakamoto 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:42:21 N.º 33343750
            • It’s a new relationship. Having reservations with someone who pesters you like that is normal. As well as his reservations to talk about himself. It’s also normal to be curious about mysterious things and people. From your post, you don’t seem physically attracted to that guy. Unless you’re severely misunderstanding yourself, that would be my verdict.
            • Name: kore_wa_pen_desu (OP) 2009-09-30 (Wed) 20:45:45 N.º 33343846
              • One sane mind in this comment section. That’s exactly it. Thank you.
              • [blocked] Name: queen_shii 2009-09-30 (Wed) 21:22:24 N.º 33343971
                • You came to this board looking to hear what you wanted to, and chose the most convenient answer. It’s 2009, not 1959. Why don’t you come to terms with yourself? Live a private life, and no one’s going to judge.
                • Name: sakamoto 2009-09-30 (Wed) 21:28:33 N.º 33344241
                  • Why are you so pressed about OP’s sexuality? Would you like a chance with him, or?
                  • [blocked] Name: queen_shii 2009-09-30 (Wed) 21:31:41 N.º 33345050
                    • Are you gay like him?

Notes:

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