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“CLAY!” Techno’s voice was hoarse from yelling.
Clay stood on the edge of the building, staring down at the pavement below.
His shoes scraped the edge of the sky for a moment before he was pulled back into reality by a yank to the back of his green hoodie. Strong, warm arms that were not Sapnap’s surrounded him, a face and nose and glasses that were not George’s shoving themselves into his neck, tears that were not his own making their way into the threads of his shirt-
“What the fuck were you thinking?!” an angry, familiar voice.
Clay just sighed, too tired of this, of everything to listen. The voice ranted on, warm breath at the edge of his neck pulsed with anger and fear, the fear of losing him for good-
“Because I LOVE you-”
The words snapped him out of it.
He blinked, pushing the man in front of him, the man with the cherry- pink hair and currently crooked glasses, the one that had taken care of him for six and a half months now and wasn’t planning on stopping. Clay looked into Techno’s red eyes, the tears leaking from them surprising him.
Techno shook him, hard, yelling something in his face. “Techno-”
The man crushed him to his chest, burying his face in Clay’s hair. Clay wrapped his arms around Techno’s neck, feeling the tension in the man’s body slowly drain as he pulled him close.
“You love me?” Clay whispered, hands tangled in Techno’s hair. It was soft… comforting. But- this man… he- he loved him?
Techno? Techno, the man who had broken his arm and leg when they were kids. Techno, the Techno that had pettily covered the entirety of their small apartment in goldfish? Techno, the one who had pulled him out of that hotel room and into his car and held him until he’d stopped shaking? That Techno? LOVED him?
“I-”
“You LOVE ME?!” Clay yelled, Techno flinching. He let go, hands grasping for Techno’s.
Techno let him have them, flushing. “Uhhh- sorta?” he looked away uncomfortably, his face flushed. “N- not in-”
“When were you going to TELL ME?!” Clay half laughed, pressing techno’s hand against his face.
“I wasn’t,” Techno admitted angrily. “But you were about to jump off a fucking roof , and I wasn’t thinking-”
Clay raked a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes. “Well you should have told me sooner!”
“Well I’M sorry, I wasn’t going to tell my literal roommate I had a huge crush or whatever on him-”
“Why NOT?!”
“Well because I LIVE IN HIS HOUSE -”
“That is NOT an excuse!”
“Well I wasn’t going to tell you anyway, but now I have, so now what am I gonna do-”
“You’re gonna shut the fuck up,” Clay pulled Techno close again, grinning up into brown-red eyes. “And kiss me, for real this time.”
Techno took a deep breath, huffing out a laugh. “It’s cold,” he observed, looking anywhere but Clay’s lips.
“You’re an idiot,” Clay pulled the man down for a light kiss. Their lips slotted together like they belonged there.
“Your idiot, if you’ll have me.” he said softly, pressing their foreheads together.
“You can have me whenever,” Clay wagged his eyebrows, Techno wrinkling his nose at the joke. “And you sound so official, all “will you have me,” what kind of language is that, old? You’re old now? Old man-”
“Alright, that’s it, moment’s over, g’bye, go away-” Techno jokingly pulled away, bringing Clay back into the stairwell of the apartment complex. Clay grinned, grabbing Techno’s hand back.
“Of course I’ll have you,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to their intertwined hands. “I’ll always have you.”
“God,” Techno grumbled, leading him down the stairs instead. His hand was so warm- Clay’s cheeks flushed. “You’re a sap.”
“Me?!” he gasped, mock offended. “YOU were the one with the big reveal-”
“Shuddup.”
“I’m just sayin-”
“Can’t believe I’m stuck with you now,” Techno huffed, grinning back at him.
He pulled Clay to a stop, his other hand trailing up to cup Clay’s face. He hesitated a little before kissing him- softly, quickly, surely… Clay took a deep breath in, his arms winding around Techno’s waist.
“You’re stuck with me,” He chorused happily. “There’s no one I’d rather be stuck with.”
“Ew.” Techno deadpanned, grinning as he released him. “Nerd.”
“I- Y’know what? Fuck you.”
“Fuck you too.”
“I hate you.”
“You love me, you just said so-”
“...Shut up and kiss me again.”
Techno smiled, leading Clay out of the stairwell.
The door opened onto the busy intersection, the sidewalk that was normally crowded with people devoid of anything but two figures, rushing towards them.
Clay felt them before they reached them, instinctively pulling Techno close to him.
Sapnap and George ran up, Sapnap immediately reaching out for Clay.
Clay let himself be hugged. His body turned to ice, the arms around him keeping him there, trapping him-
Techno frowned, tugging his hand and pulling him out of it. He snapped back to his senses.
“You,” George snarled at him, Clay’s hand in Techno’s death grip a reminder of just how much these two had hurt him, whether they knew it or not…
Techno was arguing with them now, Clay tucked safely at his side, hands clasped tight-
Sapnap was angry, all fire and rage and burning passion, pointing fingers and shoving hands in Techno’s face. Techno stood, firm and calm and solid, keeping Clay safe from the rage as he cowered, staring more at George than at Sapnap, at George’s face and George’s sincere sympathy-
George took his hand, pressing it between his own cool hands. The sensation felt weird, techno’s strong warmth replaced by a bitter coldness sticking to his skin-
“Are you okay?” George asked quietly. Clay could tell he wasn’t really asking.
Techno stepped between the two, scowling.
“You hurt him,” he growled.
“George did nothing!” Sapnap argued, pushing his way in front. “George and I are only trying to help! You almost made him kill himself-”
“That was him.” Clay said quietly. He looked at George. “It was all him.”
Sapnap stopped in surprise.
Clay continued softly, his hands grasping at the back of Techno’s shirt. He told Sapnap what he knew- what had happened to him. Air rushed out of his lungs and tears poured down his face, his voice shaking as he told his oldest friend the truth, for the first time.
The traffic zoomed by, 90-mph on a 60 road, speeding lights and rough concrete underneath- the skies opened up, rain pouring down on their heads. Techno’s soft jacket covered him suddenly.
Clay looked at George, and for the first time, saw nothing more than hatred on his face.
“I’m taking care of myself now,” he said, green eyes blazing. “I don’t need you.”
Sapnap grabbed his shoulders, worried eyes looking into his own. “Are you telling me the truth?” his voice wavered. George slapped his shoulder, but Sapnap ignored him.
Clay nodded, taking Techno’s hand again.
“That’s why he’s not married now,” he said, “Because Ninja found out.”
“Clay,” George seethed. Clay ignored him, instead gripping Sapnap’s arm tight. He saw the grief go, replaced by anger- he shook his head slowly, patting his shoulder.
“I’m okay now.” he promised softly. Sapnap’s shoulders relaxed.
“This is insane-” George grabbed his shoulders again, wrenching him away from Techno. “Let’s go, Clay-”
Techno grabbed him back, his red eyes blazing with anger. “Don’t touch him.” he snarled venomously.
George scowled, reaching for Clay. Techno slapped his hand away.
Clay pulled Techno away, trying his best to get them out. George grabbed Techno’s shirt, pulling them back.
Clay screamed Techno’s name as he lost his grip. Techno whirled around, the momentum causing him to slip and fall…
George was shoved back onto the pavement, Techno falling off of the sidewalk into the wet, slick street.
He started to get up, eyes trained on Clay, worried red meeting scared green- the lights turned red just as the truck skidded, Techno’s body flying through the air and hitting the middle of the intersection hard -
Clay felt himself scream Techno’s name as cars skidded around him, some crushing bone and muscle and cherry pink hair- Clay ran towards him, dodging stopping cars and screaming people as he rushed to Techno’s side- his unmoving side.
He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t breathing -
A wail ripped it’s way out of his throat as he hugged Techno close, the pavement beneath them stained red as blood poured through Clay’s hands, techno’s unblinking eyes and pale skin standing out in the headlights of the cars.
A siren rang in his ears, but he didn’t care, curling close to Techno as people crowded them- a freezing hand on his arm turned him to stone. He wrenched it away, hugging Techno close as the paramedics took the scene, sensibly not trying to separate the two.
He brushed a stray hair out of Techno’s face, the pink a deep red, soaked with blood from Techno’s nose- a faint, shaky breath whispering it’s way out of Techno’s chest.
“Tech? Techno, techno can you hear me? Techno -”
A faint smile from the dead man across his lap was all it took- come on, techno-
Nothing. Nothing .
The EMTs pulled them apart softly. Someone gave Clay a blanket- he dropped it, following as they loaded Techno into the ambulance, machines left and right covering the man he loved as they shut the doors-
Wait.
Wait- don’t take him. Don’t take him from-
Run- run after it. Don’t let them take him from you.
Don’t let him go.
The sirens faded in the distance, Clay standing under the rain, on a poorly lit street, alone.
Again.