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Max fidgets with the cuff of his long sleeve dress shirt, the feeling of wearing something so formal was a bit foreign to him, which made him regret choosing this shirt in the first place. He checked his phone to see the time. 6:45 pm. Hm.
“Would it sound too pushy to send a message?” He wonders to himself. The agreed upon time was 6:30, so it wasn't the end of the world. The wait just felt longer because Max had actually been waiting in front of the restaurant ten minutes earlier than necessary, which was truly a miracle on it's on, since he was often late to every other class he had at campus.
But! It's been quite some time since he went on a date, so he couldn't help being a little excited! The whole thing was set up by Bobby, so there was a 70% chance this person would be a weirdo. But with nearly no dates ever since he started college, Max figured he should at least give it a try. He wished he knew more about the person he was seeing, Bobby never told Max their name, and while texting his blind date, the only thing he was able to get out of them is that they were the same age, and had a few classes together.
It didn't seemed like they were interested in messaging. When Max gave the idea of a date, they just replied “eh, why not?” and once Max suggested meeting in a Mexican restaurant on this date, they only bothered to send a thumbs up emoji.
So it was anyone's guess if they were going to even show up or not.
Drinking his glass of water, Max decided a message wouldn't hurt. If something happened, he would like to be able to help in any way he could, even if it was a total stranger.
*Hey! Just wanted to check if everything is ok? I'm at the restaurant waiting :)
There, nice and simple. Now all he had to do was wait. With his own thoughts.
….
Should he call? Maybe that would be too invasive, but the lack of response was eating him alive! His stomach felt fuzzy with anxiety but also with hunger… if he only ate the lunch his dad made for him! Now it was just sitting alone in the mini fridge of his dorm, waiting for him…
But noooo, here he was, starving and freaking out for someone that clearly didn't care to at the very least give him a heads up about being late! His feet thumped against the wooden floor, in an accelerated rhythm, his eyes going between his phone and the door of the restaurant, to see if anyone arrived. 6:50. 6:51. 6:52.
The waitress that had welcomed him before approached his table, she was a teenage duck, with heavy eyeshadow and a pink streak on her hair.
“Are you gonna order anything?” She asked matter of fact, considering this was the third time they were interacting that night.
“Uh… I'm sorry, I'm just waiting for someone to arrive.”
“Right… look, I'm gonna be straight with you, my boss is on my case today, and the place is pretty busy as you might be able to tell. So! You're either gonna have to order something soon, or you have to leave.”
“Give me just another five minutes?”
“Did your date said they would be here in five minutes?”
“Not exactly… is actually a blind date, my friend set it up for me. I don't even know their name or what they look like… I think something must have happened, and they got caught up or something, like an accident… or… I got stood up.” he admits.
“Or your friend tricked you?”
“Oh no way, Bobby is like a brother, he would never play such a mess up prank on me!” He said a little too loud and defensively. The duck raised her hands in surrender. Her head tilted to the side as she examined Max.
“You’re sweating bullets man. Are you nervous?”
“You could say that…”
The girl scratched her chin.
“Tell you what.” she said, turning around and grabbing a jar of water that was set up on a counter nearby. “I'm gonna freshen up this water for you, and give you another five minutes, ok?”
“Right… thank you…”
The waitress gave him a pity smile. “I hope they show up.”
“So do I.”
Alone with his thoughts again, he grabbed the glass and downed the whole thing at once. The minutes continued to tick, and as a last attempt of salvaging this date, he decided to call the mystery person. Unsurprisingly, no one ever picked up, and the ringing seemed to be mocking him, as he anticipated that, by a miracle, someone would eventually answer the phone.
Nothing. He lowered his head in defeat. It was time to take the loss and march back to his dorm, maybe break a thing or two, possibly cry a little. And eat the leftovers his dad gave him.
These things happen, he supposed.
“Hellooooooo date!” someone shouted in his ear.
Max lifted his head startled, a loud shriek escaping his mouth.
“What the hell was that?”
“Oh, it looked like you had fallen asleep, so I wanted to wake you up to make sure you wouldn't miss my entrance! Nice to meet you, I'm Yakko!”
The toon raised his hand, offering a handshake, which Max cautiously returned.
“So you are my blind date?”
“I believe I am! You seem to be the guy I'm looking for! You're friends with… Bobby, right?”
“Yeah, that's me.”
“Excellent!” Yakko promptly sat down on the seat facing Max, a charming smile on display. Before he could say anything else, the waitress came, jumping slightly in surprise when she noticed Yakko's presence.
“Oh, so someone -did- showed up! About time…” she grabbed her notepad and started “Have you decided what to order?”
“Oh we might need a minute since he just got here and-”
“Oh don't worry, I'm a fast reader.” Yakko grabbed the menu, and glanced for a quarter of a second, before replying “I want the chimichangas with a side of rice and beans, a portion of fries, diet Pepsi, no ice.”
Max was surprised with the speed on which his date had decided on the food, but found himself even more surprised when the waitress’ eyes began to glow and the words were magically summoned into the notepad she was carrying. She faced Max, now, eyes still glowing, which honestly scared him a little. “And what about you sir?”
Max scrambled to get his menu, and quickly decided on nachos with cheese dip and a Coke. She nodded and walked away, and no one seemed to notice the way she nonchalantly used magic to levitate empty plates and glasses off of tables that were now empty.
But he should know better than being surprised, in Toon Town they were never short of strange people.
“So! I believe we should address the elephant in the room.” Yakko said, bringing Max attention back to his date. “... what's your name again?”
“Is Max…”
“What is that short for? Maximus? Manuel? Maxinne?”
“Maximilian. But I rather you call me Max.”
“Duly noted Maxy!”
“Uh...” He was going to correct him, but decided against it. He didn't want to start a fight over how to say his name, when something more important needed to be addressed.
“Sorry to ask but-”
“Why was I late?”
Max took an anxious breath and nodded.
“Sorry about that, I ran late at work! I tried to hurry, but you know how buses are, very unreliable and slow.”
“I tried to text you…”
“Oh yeah, my phone has gone to a better place.”
“What do you mean?”
“Is dead Maxy.” Yakko said with a mock tearful voice, placing his hand over his chest in sorrow. Then he suddenly slams the same hand on the table, causing Max to jump for a second. Yakko tries to hide a mischievous smile as he continues “But enough about that, how was your day?”
Recovering from the little scare, he responds “Oh, it was fine, just some classes I had to handle earlier in the day, and then I was just chilling at the dorms, waiting for the right time to come here.”
Max left out the part where he was not in fact “chilling” but actually freaking out about tonight, pacing around and trying to give himself a pep talk in the mirror. Yakko nodded, but didn't add anything else. Oh shit, was he being too boring for his date? He struggled to think of a topic.
“Hey by the way, I have to admit I don't actually remember seeing you in class… I feel like I would have noticed someone like you…”
“Someone like me, you say?” Yakko said, his cheek resting against his hand, while he displayed a very smug expression. Max laughed nervously, as he didn't mean to sound flirtatious with that comment.
“I just meant, you seem to be very outspoken I guess? So I figured I would have noticed you…”
“Hey Max, is it ok if we don't talk about school right now?” Yakko's tone was soft and apologetic.
“Oh sure yeah, no prob.”
Great, now he has to think of another topic… oh!
“Do you… wanna talk about work?”
Yakko's eyes shone upon hearing this, so Max figured he made a wise choice.
“Oh where to even begin? First, me and the sibs had a segment where we sang a song about the exploitative world of YouTube videos targeted for children, there's some nightmare inducing videos on the webs, I'll tell ya! And then-”
“Wait wait, segments? Songs? I don't understand, what do you do for work exactly?”
“I'm an actor! But that is just one of my many talents, wait until you see my yodeling! And my black pepper chicken is nothing to sneeze at! Unless I overdo it on the pepper, of course. Did you know that Pepper was first introduced in the West after the global conquest of Alexander the Great? Though between you and me, it is debatable how “great” he actually was…”
Yakko moved enthusiastically as he switched from topic to topic, Max trying to follow his movements with his eyes, which was quickly giving him a small headache.
“I feel like talking to you is like trying to read a plate of a speeding car…” he said out loud. Yakko frowned at that.
“So you don't think you can keep up with me?” He asked with a mocking smile.
“Well, I drive a motorcycle, so you could say I like to go fast… but is it important to be able to slow down sometimes and see the view… does that make sense?”
“Hmm I think I follow you.” Yakko relaxed his posture and responded: “So… what kind of sight seeing do you have in mind?”
Max thought it over for a second. “Just little things about you, and about me I guess? If I'm following this metaphor right…”
“Fair enough! Do you have any siblings?”
“Unfortunately no, but I have really good friends, PJ and Bobby, they are like brothers to me.” Max laughed foundry. “ I say that a lot, but I really mean it I guess, these guys really get me, you know? With them, I don't have to worry about trying to look cool or whatever, I can just be me.”
“Do you usually care if other people think you're cool?”
“Well, doesn't everyone? Everyone wants to be interesting, and good looking, and hide all the anxiety and awkwardness. And I'm just realizing that might not be the best thing to admit on a date, hehe.”
Max cursed himself for trying to talk more, and get a word in the conversation. It would have probably been better if he just let Yakko talk his ears out, instead of talking about anxiety and being way too open.
“I honestly prefer knowing someone's true character right off the bat, it prevents unexpected surprises down the line. And for what is worth, you do come off as cool, and good looking as you put it.”
“Aw you don't have to say that.”
“Yet I did! I'm just great like that!”
“And so humble!”
Yakko snorted at that. So far so good!
The duck girl now approached their table with a tray in her hands. She served their food and drinks, once again, making a show about levitating the items with her magic.
“Enjoy your meal!” She said with an attempt of a cheerful voice before walking away.
As they began their meals, Max picked the conversation back up: “So, do you have any siblings ?”
“Oh yes, my sweet angels, Wakko and Dot!” He pulled out his wallet, and opening, a few pictures attached to it could be seen. Yakko pointed at a certain picture, explaining. “They are my pride and joy, my partners in crime!”
The picture he was pointing was of the three of them inside of what looked like an office turned to chaos, with broken appliances and papers scattered everywhere, as well as a trash can that lit on fire, the glow of it making the kids faces look a bit sinister in Max's opinion. There was also a man wearing a security outfit, who was inexplicably stuck on the drawer of one of the desks, with a single tear falling down his face.
“What uh… what is the story behind this picture?”
“They delayed our paychecks.”
“...Yeah ok, I get that.”
“Right? Who do they think they are? Anyway, this one is when the whole studio was filled with a bunny infestation. And this one…”
This went on for a few minutes, and somehow Max found himself extremely entertained with every detail, asking follow up questions to every crazy story Yakko had to tell.
“And who's this?”
“Oh that's our therapist, Scratchy.”
“...why do you have a picture of your therapist on your wallet?”
“You don't?”
“A picture of my therapist on my wallet? No, I do not.”
“Huh.” Yakko looked at Max up and down as if he was the weird one. He decided to close his wallet. “So, I think I talked enough about my sibs… do you have any family?”
“Just my dad and step mom. They are great, but very overprotective… To be honest, I'm glad I live in a dorm, so I can enjoy some well deserved privacy and space!”
“Must be nice…”
“What is?”
“Living in a dorm! The crazy parties, the freedom.” Yakko sounded wistful for a second.
“Well, I haven't been invited to a party in centuries so- wait a minute…”
“What?”
“You don't live in a dorm? I thought it was required in our school?”
“Oh! Uh… Well, you see, they made an exception for me! Since I need to be with my sibs… Mhm, I'm that influential!”
“Right…”
Max had a bad feeling about this, examining Yakko with a pointed look as he ate his food. He noticed he wasn't looking at Max's eyes, now switching topics to their food, and the origin of his dish.
“How do you know so much about so many different subjects?” Max decided to ask, more curious about Yakko as a person than the facts he could tell about chimichangas.
“Oh I just love reading! And now, in the very modern twenty first century, having a phone on us at all times? The sky is the limit!”
“Yeah, I probably should use my phone for more constructive things, instead of playing games on my phone…”
“Wakko is a victim of gaming as his main hobby… I can't remember the last time he touched the piano… say Max, do you play any instruments?”
“Yeah, the guitar! With college, it has been hard to find time for it, but I do enjoy jamming every once in a while.”
“What other hobbies do you have?”
“Well, my favorite really is skateboarding… But I probably shouldn't talk about that, once I get started, I can't really stop, and I'm sure you don't want to hear really long stories about skateboarding …”
“Oh but I do! Especially since I don't know much about it!”
And so, given the permission, Max did go all out into his favorite things about skateboarding, between the skills and tricks he learned, to the history behind the sport, as well as proper etiquette when it comes to parks and the people that frequent those locations. And any time he ended a sentence, Yakko had a follow-up question, showing he was in fact, paying attention, and further more, really enjoying learning about this side of Max. His relaxed smile gave Max the courage to just let himself have fun and not overthink how dorky he probably sounded.
He was truly enjoying himself for the first time in a while.
Until Yakko's phone rang.
He quickly apologized and answered the call.
“Dot, this better be an emergency… he did what? Ok, how long since the cement dried? Have you tried using a pickaxe instead of the mallet? Oh that worked? Figures… yeah, your welcome, now can you two go to bed like you promised you would be by now? Ok… love you too.” Yakko let out a deep breath. “Sorry about that. Where were we?” Yakko smile dropped as he looked at Max's expression. “Why do you look so weird?”
“I thought your phone was dead.” Max responded with an accusatory tone.
The fact that Yakko's eyes grew three times the normal size as he scrambled for an answer didn't sit well with Max. First he didn't want to talk about school, then he doesn't live in the mandatory dorms and now his phone is miraculously alive?
As if on cue, someone cleared their throat , causing both boys to look up startled.
“Are you Max?” Said a blue bird guy, who seemed to be around his early twenties.
“Uh.. yeah?”
“I'm Sam, your blind date… Uhhh, your friend Bob set us up or something?”
“Oh.”
Max was at a loss for words. He looked at Yakko with an inquisitive expression, raising an eyebrow. Yakko started scratching his cheek nervously, looking anywhere but at Max.
“Yakko?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……”
Max took a deep breath. He turned his body to face Sam. Yeah, this guy looked vaguely familiar, so he was probably the real deal.
“Are you ok? You are an hour late… I tried calling and messaging… Did something happen?”
“Oh, I kinda forgot we had a time schedule, so I was distracted on my phone…”
Max couldn't help but wonder how did that make any sense, since both messages and calls would definitely be notified while Sam was on his phone. Couldn't he at least come up with a better excuse?
Searching within his soul, Max debated his options and reached out for his wallet, taking a few bills.
“Look Sam, I'm sure you're a cool guy, so I hope you don't take offense in this… but I don't know if I have it in me to try salvaging this date. And sorry, but I get the impression you weren't really looking forward to this date either…”
To that, Sam simply nodded honestly, his face unmoving.
“I figured… but anyway… Here's some cash, in case you really want to get something, there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy a nice meal… but yeah, I don't want to be a part of that.”
“Oh score!” Sam reached over, grabbing the money. “Hey, thank you man, sorry about how things turn out… but Bob was right, you're a cool guy!”
“Yeah… I'm great.” Max said sarcastically. He watched as Sam walked away from his table, shaking his head in exasperation.
“Now then…” Max turned back to his “date”, his smile a bit twisted, as his face darkened considerably. “You. Talk.”
“Uhhh…. Well first, what the hell? Why would you give him your money, when he pretty much stood you up?”
Max sighed. “Cause if he came, after all this time, my guess was that he must have really wanted a free meal… maybe he's struggling, you know?”
“Or he is a jerk looking for people to date so he can get free meals, and he isn't struggling at all.”
“Look, it doesn't matter right now, stop dodging the subject.” Max rubbed his face with his palm, before continuing. “Why did you pretend to be my date?”
Yakko to his credit looked quite guilty as he admitted. “I just overheard you talking to the waitress as I was walking in, and felt bad…”
Max let out a heavy sigh. “Well, that's just great, got stood up by my date, and pitted by a stranger… praise be my Goofy luck.” he said looking down, his shoulders drooping.
“Look Max… I'm sorry, I-”
“It-It’s fine Yakko… if that's actually your name.”
“It is, I can show you my ID if you like, is just past the pictures where-”
“No no! I'm good.” Max looked up, expression despondent. “I guess now that the cat is out of the bag, we should call it at night. You can leave if you want, I'll pay for the bill.”
“Oh no no, that won't do.”
“Well, if you want we could split-”
“That's not what I mean! But for the record, I'm definitely paying for the whole meal…”
Yakko, who so far had been the representation of confidence itself, was now holding his hands nervously, twisting his gloves as he tried to find the right words. “Look, I was gonna come clean… Once I knew if you enjoyed the date or not, you know? You can't blame me for giving a shot to a… cute guy that seemed like he needed some company.” Yakko's face was slightly flushed, and if it wasn't from the nature of how they met up, Max wouldn't be doubtful of him. But as of now…
“I just can't tell if you are just saying this because you're pitting me.” Max confessed.
“I get that… and I get I might have some credibility here, but aside from you know, this first lie, with everything else that I said? I was being genuine! And I know is not the greatest start to a relationship-”
“Relationship?” Max said, astonished.
“Wait no, I mean… ahhhh! I'm getting ahead of myself.”
“No kidding!”
“Look!” Yakko continued, flustered. “I don't know about you, but I was actually having a good time, talking about my interests and hearing about yours… you're a cool guy Max. And I was hoping, if you're up for it, that this wouldn't be our only date…” he trailed off.
Max then crossed his arms, pondering on those words. If he was honest, the whole situation was a bit awkward, and a bit of a hit on his self esteem. Yakko watched with a still breath, deciding for the first time to stay quiet, waiting for his date's decision.
“I guess… even if there was a bump in the road, the journey doesn't have to end here?” Max decided.
“So…” Yakko tried “Dessert? I'm paying!” he winked.
“Sure.” Max smiled. “Why not?”